-Imagine having perfect self-control.

Never overeating, never pouring that drink one too many, stopping yourself before you make a single wrong decision.

Self-control can be so hard.

Have a wandering eye?

Want to remain faithful?

Don't leave it up to you, leave it up to The Company.

With a simple non-invasive procedure inserted right behind the eye, your dream life can become a reality.

Side effects may include-- -She'll be all right in the morning.

Just check the incision point for any signs of infection, but of course, it's unlikely.

-I'm all right.

-Your service has been much appreciated.

-Yes.

Thank you so much.

-Change the bandages once before bed, twice for the next two days, cleaning the area in between.

You won't feel the effects until the morning, I'm afraid.

-Oh.

Suppose I'm a bit excited.

-Give our thanks to The Company.

[music] -Guess I do need to cut back on the drinking.

Finally, one drink is enough, girl.

-Oh, my.

For me?

-Yes.

-Oh, I look at you.

Mm.

-Good?

-Mm-hmm.

Oh, man.

Hey, I'm all for supporting you in this new procedure, but you don't have to change and start waiting on me, I hope you know.

-Hey.

Now, that I can make a perfect martini, why not share the gift?

Besides, I already hit my limit for the day, so someone ought to enjoy it.

Try and feed me some.

-Oh.

I know you-- -Ah.

I can't wait to show off the new me this weekend.

[music] -You didn't forget to put out that cheese the Albertsons like, right?

-Yes, I'll do it now.

Hey.

[chucklles] Hey.

Everything's going to be great.

Okay?

-I know.

It's just, a lot of these people I haven't seen since-- -Since New Year's.

That was before.

You're different now.

Frankly, I think our relationship's the best it's ever been.

-Damn.

I wish I could convince Susie to get one of those.

-Whatever you do, don't tell her you want her to.

She'll never do it.

That's how women are.

-Come on, it can't be that great.

I mean, what's even in it for you?

-In it for me?

Besides, my wife doing literally everything better.

Everything.

-That's not really a problem when your wife is as hot as mine.

-That's even more reason to get the glitch.

-The what?

-You've heard of the husband stitch, right?

This implant, it's got a husband glitch.

Let's just say, you don't have to worry about your wife ever being in the mood again.

Mark knows what I'm talking about.

-Hey.

Look, she just doesn't love you if you need some glitch to get her to fuck you.

-Oh, hey now.

-Honestly, I have not been this happy post-divorce since I got the implant.

-Seeing all this, how happy you guys are, makes me tempted.

Frank really wants me to.

Makes me skeptical.

-I mean, typical Frank.

Why don't you just tell him to get one himself?

It's a really easy procedure, right?

-I've been trying.

-You guys really like this thing?

-Hell, yes.

-What if you want to take it out?

-What?

Get it removed?

-You can get it removed.

-Removed?

Why would you want to?

-It is a little more invasive and there's a longer waiting period.

-Okay, but there's only a longer waiting period because they have to fly in a specialist doctor to do the surgery.

Because so few people want to get it done.

What are you going to do?

Gouge out your own eye?

-Ew.

-Okay, look at me.

I have complete control of my life.

I don't even need to worry about self-control.

Check this out.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Clumsy girl.

-Okay.

Since when am I the bigger klutz?

-Oh, implying I am.

-I mean, if the shoe fits.

-Bobby, are we forgetting that time?

-Don't say the lake incident.

Okay, that was college.

-Oh, mm-hmm.

-Yes.

-Shit, what was that?

-The implant.

-What?

You can't touch anyone besides Mark?

-No.

It's-- -What?

This whole implant thing-- -It's fine.

Okay, let's just go back.

Hi, girls.

-Hey.

How are you?

You did a good job getting this.

-Look who it is.

[eerie music] -I know.

Isn't she amazing?

I feel so lucky to be married to her.

Yes, we missed you two the other night.

Things are certainly better now since New Year's.

I mean, yes, God, it's embarrassing.

My wife, that drunk.

The drunkness is one thing.

How she was acting with Bobby?

How embarrassing for my wife to be all close up to another woman in front of everyone.

Yes.

Let's just say she was eager to make it up to me.

It's the same as her drinking.

She doesn't have self-control.

Which is what gave me the idea.

Yes, I had a few tasteful hints.

[music] -Joanna, you know whatever it is-- -I can't stand this fucking thing in my head anymore.

I'm done.

-I told you, Joanna.

Why didn't you listen to me?

-I know.

Okay?

I know you told me not to.

-Okay, you're right.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I would say that right now.

-I just saw how it made all those other people's lives so much better.

So much simpler and easier.

They never had to question anything.

Fuck.

All I wanted was to not be so exhausted anymore.

To not wonder what to do.

Everything I've ever wanted my whole life has felt wrong.

This, this has made it all more shit.

I can't even take the drink anymore.

[music] -I can't even touch you.

[music] -Joanna, then take it out.

-I can't.

This whole process.

Paperwork.

They don't make it easy.

-So?

It's worth it.

You don't need this thing in your head.

-I don't know how much more I can take.

-I'll be right here.

-You think the most frustrating thing about all of this, is I don't have control over my body anymore, but I'm starting to realize I don't think I ever did.

-Hey, sweetheart.

You just look radiant.

-I-- -What's the matter?

I know what will cheer you up.

Why don't we do that thing you like?

-I'm not in the mood.

Whoa.

Whoa.

This is-- Mark, Mark, stop.

Mark, stop.

I'm not doing this.

There must be something wrong with the implant.

-You said it yourself.

Your sex drive is low sometimes.

Come on.

It's just me.

It was your idea to get this, remember.

-This is not what I wanted.

[crying] [music] -Darling, is that you?

You know I hate to ask, but since you're up, I'd just kill for one those martinis you make, if you don't mind.

[music] -In a better mood, are we?

What's with the getup?

Going somewhere?

[eerie music] -[screaming] What the fuck!

Joanna.

[screaming] Joanna.

[music]