- This and more coming up on the "Whitney Reynolds Show."

- I wanna start by saying that I had a wonderful mom by all accounts until I was about 4 1/2.

So she ended taking me across the country by truck, hitchhiking from truck stop to truck stop to truck stop.

She kidnapped me.

There was a national APB.

- The disaster in Joplin, you know, costliest tornado in US history, 161 of our friends and neighbors were killed, in 32 minutes some.

I was a school superintendent at the time.

We had seven students and a staff member killed, and I had a near death experience myself.

And, you know, it was just such a traumatic time for everybody.

- You know, as time went on, my father became very possessive with my mother.

They were going through a divorce, and, you know, one day decided that it was time for it all to end.

- [Announcer] The "Whitney Reynolds Show" is supported by BMO, boldly grow the good in business and life.

Kevin O'Connor Law Firm, when it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Kevin Kelly, serving your real estate needs in Florida and Illinois at kevinkelly.realestate.

Together at Peace, a foundation with a mission to generate financial support for hospitals, schools, and many charities that provide compassionate bereavement care and foster spiritual resilience.

We are here to inspire tangible moments and share the light of loved ones who have passed away, always doing good in their honor.

And the Respiratory Health Association, healthy lungs and clean air for all.

Special thanks to Lifeway Kefir, Kid Friendly Venues app, GIRLSTRONG Empowerment Apparel, Mike Dyer with Edward Jones, joeperillo.com, Hi-Five Sports Chicago, centerforbeautifulliving.com, Deluxe Cleaning Services, and by these sponsors.

(gentle music) ♪ So strong ♪ ♪ So strong ♪ ♪ So strong ♪ - Hello and welcome to the "Whitney Reynolds Show."

Today we hear hard truths about the past from people that persevered towards a clear future.

Here, we believe your story matters.

(audience applauding) (audience cheering) - I think the resilience started like when my family said, "This is really bad.

Like when you wake up, you have to like keep going."

- I was that story, the one that needed a safe space.

- The key to success is taking risk.

- So we created it.

- Everybody fails.

Everybody takes that one big hit.

What's important is standing back up and keep going.

- You are watching the "Whitney Reynolds Show."

Be careful.

(audience applauding) (audience cheering) (air whooshing) - Welcome to the show.

- Thank you so much for having me.

I'm excited to be here.

- You know, I am thrilled you are here because there are so many parts of your story that if someone was looking holistically above, would say, "That's very hard," but you are one that is using that to empower not only yourself but other people.

- I wanna start by saying that I had a wonderful mom by all accounts until I was about 4 1/2.

And then she got really late onset paranoid schizophrenia.

And she lost custody of me, but she just could not internalize that she couldn't take care of me.

So she ended taking me across the country by truck, hitchhiking from truck stop to truck stop to truck stop.

She kidnapped me.

There was a national APB.

- [Whitney] How did she take you?

- Well, she actually kidnapped me three times.

We were going to a park and my mother kept saying to my dad, you know, "Let me go to the park with her by herself.

It's fine," like, "I'm okay," 'cause, you know, she would have these breakdowns, then she would get better.

Then she'd have the...

But it's a progressive disease, I should say.

It gets worse and worse and worse.

So every breakdown, when you go down, you don't go up quite as far as you used to because the drugs just weren't what they are now.

I mean, my mother was saying, you know, "You are the child of Jesus.

I'm going to Egypt to follow the chariot.

We're going to go together."

Crazy stuff.

- As a 4-year-old.

- As a 4-year-old.

And the hard thing about it, of course, is that our parents are our world, you know?

They create our reality for us.

Took me a long time to trust my instincts when I would think, "Oh, this doesn't make sense," or, "That's wrong," because for so long, someone was telling me something that wasn't true, and for the sake of my emotional survival, I had to believe it.

You know, one of the most traumatic things for me, we were sitting at a campfire with this guy who was really not okay, and he actually, I was a little kid and he kissed me very inappropriately.

And my mother said, "Oh, you just got your first French kiss," like it was wonderful.

And I looked at her and I could tell she was afraid he wouldn't give us a ride, so she was kinda trying to shift my reality into, "This is okay."

- What was your dad doing during that time?

- He was terrified.

He was working with the police to find me.

- [Whitney] How were you found?

- A cop pulled us over, and my mother said, "Hide down in the passenger seat."

So I was scared, you know?

And the police comes over, and he gets this flashlight, and he's looking around.

And then his flashlight goes to me, and I'm looking up at him.

And this look over his face.

He was just like, "Whoa."

And the next thing I knew, my mom was actually handcuffed, screaming my name.

- When you were found and you were brought back to your dad, how did you move forward after that?

- I remember getting into the car and looking at my dad and bursting into tears.

And my dad years later said, "Oh, I think you were so scared 'cause your mother said all these terrible things about me."

And I said, "No.

That's when I realized you were safe."

It still makes me like.

And I thought, "Oh, you're the safe one."

And then I thought, "Oh, my God.

My whole world is upside down.

- Wow.

- It was a huge moment for me.

- [Whitney] Her mom is still considered a missing person, yet this hard memory of homelessness and being kidnapped she says instilled extreme empathy for others.

- I see homeless people in New York City all the time, and once in a while, I think, "Is that my mom?"

I think of the things we go through as these gigantic boulders that fall on us, and we all have them.

And sometimes they crush people, but sometimes you can lay there and you can whittle them down and whittle them down and you can put them into these like little tiny pebbles, but you sort of touch them and you go, "Oh, I lived through that.

I'm gonna be okay," or, "Oh, I miss that person, but they gave me these things," and they don't weigh you down anymore.

They're part of your survival, your growth and who you are, and my mother is a pretty prominent smooth pebble in my pocket.

- For the viewers out there, what do you want the biggest takeaway to be from your story?

- There's nothing in your life that you can't survive, you know?

You absolutely can because you're here.

So the fact that you're walking around and you're living is a gift, and you just need to keep growing and learning, and you're gonna be okay.

Everybody has a story, and if you're having a hard time, you're just part of humanity.

- Eliza continues to use her life experience as a catalyst for change.

She has written a book, teaches, and speaks nationally.

Her resilience has also stayed with her over the years and helped her heal after being hit on her bike by a texting driver.

(gentle music) Food was his safe haven his whole life, and he turned it into a career.

Next up, a man who turned his hard past into Michelin stars.

- I had just graduated high school, and I was working a tremendous amount, and again, being overly obsessive about what I was doing and just loving everything about the food world.

And so that took me away from the family life of what was going on, so I wasn't fully aware.

Like, you know, as time went on, my father became very possessive with my mother.

They were going through a divorce, and, you know, one day decided that it was time for it all to end.

And he took his life and my mother's life.

(gentle music) - That is so hard.

That is one of those, you know, you said it very eloquently right now, of, you know, "He took his life, he took my mother's, and I had that distraction," but in that moment, that had to be probably...

I mean, how old were you?

- 18.

- Chef Duffy has faced an enormous amount of tragedy in his years with his father murdering his mother and taking his own life, yet it was adversity that helped fuel his passion and light up his love for food, crucial ingredients to becoming the chef that he is today.

(uplifting music) - It's 100% me.

It's my personality.

It's my cuisine.

It's who I am.

When I was 14, I really wanted a change of life, how we are.

We grew up very poor and wanted to have something greater than what I was surrounded with.

And I think obtaining that first job working in a kitchen washing dishes, it gave me a light of, you know, being able to obtain something almost immediately.

You know, watching people's reaction when they eat something and having something transform in the moment was fascinating for me as 14 years old.

Like, that's what I fell in love with.

- His humble roots gave him the strength to grow in the direction of fine dining, which helped him open his restaurant Grace.

When did you make that shift to say, "Okay, I wanna actually go to the very top tier?"

- I've always felt like I've wanted to be on the more interesting, creative side of the fine dining world, so I always positioned myself to work at those restaurants.

And, you know, looking down the line, when I really realized that I wanted to be a chef, I started setting goals as to who I wanted to work for, and who were the best chefs in the country at the time, and how do I get to work there, and then how do I get to the next guy?

- After Grace opened, it continued to succeed, earning three Michelin stars, yet it was in 2017, he made the difficult decision to close their doors.

This closure marked the end of a chapter for Chef Duffy but also symbolized new beginnings for him to explore.

Did you think Grace would stay open forever?

- I don't think any chef would open a restaurant thinking that, you know, in five years it's gonna close.

Otherwise, why would you do it?

The ambition is to build a great restaurant and allow it to become an institution.

That's the goal, you know?

How does this restaurant live without me here?

- How did you move past Grace closing?

- Well, I think like anything, it took some time, you know?

There were a lot of mixed emotions.

There were every emotion you can imagine.

I think overall it was just time, you know?

We had to stop looking at it so personal and look at it from a business standpoint, which I learned that from a lot of great people that have gone on to do amazing things in the world.

And they've all said to me, "Look, everybody fails.

Everybody takes that one big hit."

And I think that's true in life, you know, when you get set with these downfalls.

Like you can certainly stay there and be that victim or you can stand up and keep moving forward.

That's the downside of what I do, is I don't stop in terms of we're resting on the last award we won or the great achievement that we've done.

It's, "Okay, we got that.

That's great.

Let's keep pushing," because it's not really about the world of, you know, awards and all that kind of things.

Our challenge is to be great inside these four walls of every restaurant, continue to build, you know, restaurant empire.

- [Whitney] And once again, his key ingredient, resilience, not letting his past define him and opening a new restaurant and moving forward.

- So it was a series of, again, a lifelong dedication to the craft of cooking and really being passionate and focused on learning as much as we possibly can.

I have so much more to learn still.

And, you know, it's just the baby steps.

It's that.

I think it's just that ultimate focus of trying to achieve something great is why we were awarded three Michelin stars.

I mean, I've been cooking for 35, well, since I was 14.

I'm gonna be almost 50 this year.

So I've been cooking for a long time, and, you know, it's the long journey, right?

It's the journey of everything.

It's just pushing and pushing and pushing, trying to get to where we want to be.

And you know, we're never, at least for me, I always feel like I'm always a student.

I'm always trying to learn something more.

- Thank you so much.

- My pleasure, thank you so much.

Thank you.

(gentle music) - Have you ever experienced fear, the type that stops you right in your tracks?

Well, next up we sat down with a superintendent whose worst nightmare played out right after graduation when one of the nation's deadliest tornadoes hit Joplin, Missouri.

- The disaster in Joplin, you know, the costliest tornado in US history, 161 of our friends and neighbors were killed, in 32 minutes some.

I was a school superintendent at the time.

We had seven students and a staff member killed.

You know, I had a near death experience myself, and, you know, it was just such a traumatic time for everybody.

EF5 tornadoes hitting a largely populated area just don't happen very often, and I did not know that that level of destruction was even possible.

- C.J.

Huff was the superintendent of a Missouri school when a deadly tornado ripped through his town the night of graduation.

Walk us back through what the moments were like before the tornado hit.

- Yeah, I mean, it was a great day of celebration.

I mean, you know, we were really excited.

We'd been working so hard to improve our graduation rate.

When I got there in 2008, it was the worst graduation rate in the state of Missouri.

And we had a 62% on-time graduation rate, which we meant we were losing about 170, 180 kids a year out of our high school to dropouts.

And so we had just crept over the 80% mark for the first time in many, many decades, and we were really excited about that.

And, you know, we just stepped off the stage after graduation ceremonies, they ended at about five o'clock that evening, and did a couple quick interviews with local media about my feelings on the day.

And, you know, walked outside to the sound of tornado sirens and, you know, it was, you know, just kinda everything fell apart from that moment forward.

- Was this a day that the weather, we knew there was gonna be tornadoes?

- You know, I think that there was some notifications out there that there was an increased risk of tornadoes and severe weather.

You know, there's always kind of a smell in the air, if you will, you know, the humidity, you know, just kinda the way the clouds look and things of that nature that you know there's probably some storms coming, but people don't tend to just shut down their life in the Midwest because of the threat of severe storms.

- And then let's talk about the moment the sirens went off.

When that happened, how fast did it turn?

- When I drove into it on the west side of Joplin, it had not been on the ground for very long.

This is a completely different storm than the one that tornado sirens had originally gone off for.

So there were no type.

I was next to a tornado siren when I drove into it.

It was not going off.

So there was very little warning.

It just dropped out of the sky.

It was very unique storm where we had two super cells come together and took the energy of both and dropped an EF5 tornado right out on the edge of Joplin, Missouri and spent 32 minutes on the ground doing unbelievable destruction, winds in excess 200 miles an hour and places three quarters of a mile, you know, up to 10-blocks wide in places, with damage even outside the exterior of that.

So just an unbelievable, slow-moving EF5 tornado that just destroyed everything in its path.

- What was that like for you knowing, "Here's my life and here's potentially my death"?

- Yeah, you know, it was, you know, you think about life passing before your eyes, and fortunately, I did drive out of it, you know, the debris.

I could catch a glimpse of the road in front of me.

Every time the windshield wipers would pop up, I can catch a quick glimpse so I could stay on the road at least.

But it was, you know, every time I drive through, even today, even though, you know, I go through a car wash, that sound and when the blowers hit, you know, at the end to dry off your car, that's kinda, you know, it kind of brings me back to that day and makes me think about that.

But certainly that day, I just remember, you know, thinking about my family and just the fear.

You know, I don't even have time to think about what just happened to me.

It's really about, how do we move forward from here?

You know, I had 10 buildings that were hit, six of 'em destroyed, so, you know, I had to put the superintendent hat back on again, immediately going to work, and then spent 24/7, 365 for the next four years just supporting recovery efforts and, more importantly, supporting the mental and behavioral health of our children, youth, and staff and families and trying to meet their needs as we try to rebuild our schools too.

But, you know, the thing I'm most proud of is how we pulled together as a community in those early hours, days, weeks and months that followed that disaster and how we came back from that and try to build more resilient and try to make, you know, honor the lives of the people that we lost in that storm by doing better for our community.

- You know, it's not easy to get to that point of, how do we move forward?

But as a superintendent and losing students, you know, you think about when I was in school, if we lost one student, grief counselors would come in, all this.

But it was at the end of your year.

You had a graduation that day.

- I think it finally hit me.

And then there were a lot of people starting to ask the question, you know, "Are we ever gonna have school again?"

You know, "What are we gonna do?"

And then the fear of losing kids and families.

And at that point we didn't even know.

We didn't know.

We were still pulling people out of the rubble.

We didn't have a sense, you know, there were over a thousand people injured, many of whom were scattered all over the four-state area at different hospitals, and we didn't have visibility on where they were.

We didn't know, you know, we knew there were gonna be a lot of sad stories.

We just didn't know who or how many at that point, I just broke down crying.

I admit.

And so I did what I typically do when I find myself in a jam.

I said a little prayer and asked for strength and courage and some wisdom.

And it wasn't long after that, I mean, within minutes, that I started asking this question that came into mind.

What's our role in this disaster as a school system?

What are we supposed to do?

And I got some clarity.

I mean, the answer was pretty clear.

We know kids, we know how to take care of kids, and that was our role.

Worked on job descriptions for my team, you know, based on their individual strengths, and started putting together a game plan on how to possibly start moving forward with our recovery effort.

You know, we had great partnerships in the community at that point, and so I knew that we had relationships with contractors and architects and politicians, and, you know, we had all the relationships we needed to move it forward.

We just needed to start, you know, create, paint a vision for where we wanted to go next and then leverage those relationships to... 'Cause at the end of the day, it's people.

- What is it that in this mixture of, "This just happened, I'm grieving, but I am a superintendent at the end of the day," what is it that got you going?

- I mean, we rally the kids.

I mean, I think most communities do.

We love our children and we want to take care of our kids.

So that was the driving factor in the work.

I also knew that we had, you know, I had an amazing team, an amazing team.

- [Whitney] In the midst of it all, C.J.

knew he had to press on for the kids, and the district was able to open summer school just two weeks after the tornado.

- So we started providing support, making sure our kids had two meals, you know, two meals a day, that we were doing those mental health screenings and trauma screenings and making sure that the kids had been impacted were getting the support that they needed.

Staff too.

- So they could come back in and still receive that support.

- Exactly.

Exactly.

So we did that and then we extended summer school through the month of July.

So we extended an additional four weeks.

We had to shut it down at 1st of August to get our buildings ready for the start of the new school year, but we provide a lot of support services over the course of the summer months even.

When kids are traumatized, which, you know, we had kids and staff, you know, that were trauma traumatized, you know, the education piece, learning can't happen if the mind isn't in a good place, right?

And so, you know, our goal, you know, providing the support for those kids that needed it, just loving on our kids.

There was so much loss.

I mean, there were funerals every day for quite some time, multiple funerals a day.

And even though we only had... And I say only.

It was terribly tragic.

We lost seven students and a staff member.

It could've been worse.

But on top of that, you know, we had students that maybe lost a younger sibling that wasn't in school yet or parents or family members or aunts or uncles.

And so the number of students impacted, as you can imagine, was pretty significant.

And so, you know, the things we did, we just tried to support those families to the greatest degree we could.

We made sure that we had a presence as a school district at every one of those funerals and make sure that they were getting the support that they needed and the research around suicides amongst teens after a disaster, and I think we have a good example of that.

You know, post-COVID, we've seen an uptick in that nationally.

The numbers were staggering, and that the thing I'm most proud of in the time that I was there, when I left in 2015, we didn't lose a kid during that time.

- Wow.

- And that's the thing I'm most proud of.

- Can you give us a snapshot of what all did need to be rebuilt.

- From a school infrastructure standpoint, we lost our high school, 2,200-student high school, large, large high school, that was a heartbeat of our community.

The Career and Technical Education Center, that was ours.

Franklin Tech Center was ours as well.

We lost Irving Elementary School.

We lost Emerson Elementary School, Old South Middle School.

Lost East Middle School, which was a brand new school.

It hadn't even been open two years yet.

Our admin building, our administration offices were also hit.

You just don't have a game plan to find space for 4,400 kids that had lost their schools.

- Wow.

- And so we built out, we found 100,000 square foot box store at North Park Mall.

That became the 11th and 12th grade center.

It was a heavy lift, but we pulled it off and was really proud of whatever, you know, what everybody did to make that happen.

- How are you doing personally now?

- Well, you know, that's a great question.

I don't have a good answer (chuckling) for that yet.

I'm still, you know, the recovery journey's a windy path.

And for me personally, if I were to ever write a book, which I don't think I'll ever have time, I think I would call it "No Time to Grieve."

Sometimes we forget is we can't be Superman forever and none of us are bulletproof.

We're all human.

And I didn't sign up for that job.

I didn't go to school to become a disaster recovery leader.

It took me leaving the superintendency, which was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make 'cause I love kids and I love the work.

You know, there wasn't a lot left of me, quite frankly, mentally, physically, emotionally, and I didn't realize how far down I'd gotten until I left.

And it took me a couple years, honestly, to kinda get my feet back under me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

- C.J.

continues to help others navigate disaster relief.

He does this through his new role.

And decades later, he still keeps up with his former students, ones who share a bond of moving forward after a horrific twist in their story.

(uplifting music) We all have a past to overcome.

Today we heard from people who did just that and are stronger because of it.

This can serve as a reminder to fight for that light at the end of your tunnel.

Remember, your story matters.

(uplifting music) - [Announcer] The "Whitney Reynolds Show" is supported by BMO, boldly grow the good in business and life.

Kevin O'Connor Law Firm, when it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Kevin Kelly, serving your real estate needs in Florida and Illinois at kevinkelly.realestate.

Together at Peace, a foundation with a mission to generate financial support for hospitals, schools, and many charities that provide compassionate bereavement care and foster spiritual resilience.

We are here to inspire tangible moments and share the light of loved ones who have passed away, always doing good in their honor.

And the Respiratory Health Association, healthy lungs and clean air for all.

Special thanks to Lifeway Kefir, Kid Friendly Venues app, GIRLSTRONG Empowerment Apparel, Mike Dyer with Edward Jones, joeperillo.com, Hi-Five Sports Chicago, centerforbeautifulliving.com, Deluxe Cleaning Services, and by these sponsors.

- [Whitney] Want to stay connected to all things Whitney Reynolds?

Well, follow us on social media, and you'll get exclusive content and updates from the show.

All episodes are available for streaming anytime.

- [Children] Hi, Mommy!

(giggling) (relaxing tones resonating)