(bright music) >>Welcome to a "World of Difference, Embracing Neurodiversity".

I am Darryl Owens.

For most children, childhood is the never ending story of trying to fit in.

Whether it's to cool kids who guard the lunch table like bouncers working the velvet rope outside a posh nightclub or the chess crew huddled in a corner perfecting their queen's sacrifice checkmate, kids are constantly searching for their tribe, the people who get them.

But for children with learning attention and thinking differences, finding that tribe can feel even more complicated.

When reading social cues is tricky, when interests don't match the mainstream or when their authentic selves are misunderstood, building meaningful friendships can feel like climbing a hill in roller skates.

The good news, belonging isn't about blending in.

It's about connecting through shared passions, shared values and shared experiences.

Parents can help neurodivergent children find their people by nurturing their interests, creating opportunities for authentic connection and steering them toward environments where they can unmask and be fully themselves.

And schools can play a powerful role by intentionally cultivating spaces where neurodivergent students can meet peers who speak their language.

On this episode of "A World of Difference, Embracing Neurodiversity", we visit a South Carolina high school where a simple lunchtime club is helping neurodivergent students build friendships, confidence and community.

Our national panel explores why finding your tribe matters, how to identify supportive peer groups and how families can help kids and young adults build connections without pressure or shame.

And you'll meet our latest difference maker, animator advocate and TV personality, Dani Bowman, who's showing the world that neurodivergent individuals don't just find their tribe, they create it.

But first, we begin at Lucy Beckham High School in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, where we drop in on the Lunch Bunch.

For Kim Ano, helping her daughter Lilianne, who is on the autism spectrum, build friendships, felt as complicated as college calculus.

So she stepped in, partnering with school staff to connect her teenager with peers who shared one important thing, neurodivergence.

Together, they launched a lunchtime meetup for students who learn and think differently, a space where friendships form naturally, interests are celebrated and belonging is the main course.

(bright music) (birds chirp) >>Good morning.

>>Morning.

Hello, people.

(participant chuckles) >>All.

(participant laughs) >>When we were going through Lily having evaluations and being diagnosed, you know, the one thing we knew that she had difficulty with social interactions, and actually before the diagnosis of autism, she was diagnosed with like social communication concerns, and the recommendations were to find these social groups of these social clubs.

So I found out there was a club system at Lucy Beckham.

So I put out a request, you know, is there any way that we could start a club like this for the children that are neurodivergent?

And luckily Mr.

Martin, who had helped us when Lily was transitioning to high school, actually stepped up and was like, "I'll be glad to help the club there."

And so we started the club.

>>What do you got calling on school today?

>>Well, I am hosting a Lunch Bunch today, so you guys will get to see that for yourselves.

>>Cool.

>>Alex, come on.

>>Bye.

(participants kiss) Goodbye.

Good job.

All right.

>>You got everything on?

>>Oh, yeah.

>>Okay.

Come on.

Cut.

Go ahead.

Good boy.

I think it helps her tremendously.

You know, the thing you notice is when autistic kids around other autistic kids, they act like you know normal kids.

They, they're interacting, they're super having a lot of fun.

There's something about them where they can connect together, and I think that's, that's huge.

(bright music) >>You know, a Lunch Bunch is a social group here at Lucy Beckham High School, and it is just a group of of wonderful students that get together.

We meet every other Friday to get better and become closer friends with each other.

High school is not always the easiest place to make new friends, but Lunch Bunch in by design was to just provide opportunity for students that may not always have it the easiest.

What does heartfelt mean, Max?

What do you think that means?

>>Um.

To be like truly mean something?

>>That's a great definition of it.

Listen, here's the fun part.

We have pizza, but we are going to make, if you want, pancakes, heart-shaped pancakes.

>>Woo yay!

>>It's a safe space that I established within my high school for neurodivergent people to come and have lunch with me.

Honestly, it really allows me to connect with the people that I have brought together.

>>Oh, oh, that's so cool.

Yeah, they can fill it in.

I met Lilianne during the, the summer of her, before her freshman year, and got to talking with her and her parents and, and just looking for opportunities and they had a great idea, and I was like, "Yeah, you know, we're gonna come around and call it Lunch Bunch and designing around food and see what we can do."

And it's just continued to grow.

Lilianne and I meet every Wednesday to discuss what our plans are gonna be for the following, and she gives ideas and I give ideas and then she says, "Okay, I kind of like this."

And then my wife and I, who helps out with this, provide the structure for it and then we, they can, the kids just kind of take it from there.

>>Awesome.

>>Feel good.

>>I thought you feel good.

>>My mom.

>>Well, I like going to Lunch Bunch 'cause it's fun and like we get different foods, which is nice, but also we get to like catch up with everybody, which is like really fun 'cause like everybody does like fun activities like the cat and the mouse game and like we had to do this walrus game and then we also started doing Fruit Ninja.

So like really fun 'cause we get to do partners and being able to like make the heart-shaped pancakes or making the Chinese chicken fried rice and just being able to kind of like, just explore different thing.

Even just like trying different foods and also being able to hang out with everybody.

>>I enjoy hanging out with some people, not being socially awkward anymore.

I used to be very socially awkward.

>>I like the food and getting to talk to some of my friends.

They also do lots of, well, fun event things.

I feel like I've improved a bit with communication since I've joined.

>>They step in the room and they see what Lunch Bunch is about.

It is a smile, you know.

It's a comfort.

It's a, it's a space for them, and where not, maybe not all the time, every space is feels open to them.

So I think I take away from that.

That's probably what I see.

What make gives me the greatest pleasure is seeing them come in, see what we're doing, see that we're enjoying and that, you know, that we're, we're looking for them to speak and talk and, and interact and push them to do that.

>>We share a lot more things in common than most normal people, so it kind of like brings us together a lot easier.

It just like grants all of us, the ability to have people within our environment that we can speak to and hang out with that completely understand us and that we completely understand ourselves.

(bright music) >>Did you guys have Lunch Bunch today?

>>We did.

>>Yeah.

How many people were there today?

>>Like seven.

>>Ah, okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Six, seven, six, seven.

(bright music) >>Next, we turn to our panel of national experts to explore what it really means to find your tribe and how neurodivergent children and Collegians can discover communities where they feel understood, accepted and free to be themselves.

(bright music) Rachael Grace Holmes is an executive leadership and communication coach and former master teaching artist who works with K-12 schools, higher education and global organizations.

A former NASA inclusion specialist, she designs social emotional neurodiversity affirming learning experiences that help young people build confidence, connection and belonging through authentic self-expression.

Dr.

Rachel Loftin is a licensed clinical psychologist and Chief Clinical Officer at Prosper Health, where she leads neurodiversity affirming autism services for adolescents and adults nationwide.

A Yale and Northwestern adjunct faculty member, her work centers on diagnosis, identity development and building supportive peer communities across the lifespan.

Dr.

Meghann Sallee is a licensed psychologist and Assistant Professor at Beacon College, specializing in child, adolescent and emerging adult mental health.

With deep expertise in peer relationships, social development, ADHD and aggression, she helps students translate self-understanding into healthier friendships and campus communities.

And we're gonna begin our conversation with Rachael Grace.

For parents of young children, what are some simple ways to spot interest like arts, animals or games that can naturally help neurodivergent children connect with one another?

>>Well, first off, to observe your child, let them play.

I always say, "Let them play."

So you wanna take a step back and set up a safe, low focus, low pressure environment that is interest-driven, passion-driven, and over time you'll see consistency.

Your child will pick up their favorite toy.

You'll learn how long they want to play with the toy, how they want to play with the toy.

You can even glean what time of day they want to play with the toy.

So that's some individual play.

Moving into connection, now we're gonna do parallel play.

So within the arts, that might look like setting up sensory stations.

For example, a station with different textures, Play-Doh, sandpaper, velvet, different sounds, maybe a stream trickling or popcorn being popped.

Different smells, lavender, you know, just a lot of different ways for children to interact with the world that again, is low focus, and they might start to interact with each other.

You can also have a child do shapes with their bodies in circles with other children.

Again, they don't have to interact each other, you never want to force connection in that way.

You want them to feel comfortable enough in their passion and then it'll spill over organically.

With nature, I love nature walks, and that's for all children.

That's for everyone, in fact.

Nature walks and scavenger hunts.

You know, try to find a rock, stones, leaves, trees, perhaps listen for bird song.

And at the end of that nature walk, parents can ignite reflection.

Ask questions, what did you see?

How did you feel about what you saw?

What did you learn?

Show me with your body your favorite animal.

And then you can actually watch children interact with each other.

Perhaps you learn a way that your child represents that they agree with someone and that they're having fun.

You're gonna start to build those qualitative metrics of what fun looks like, whether it's bright eyes, a certain sound, a favorite stim, hand flapping.

These are all qualitative metrics to know that your child is engaging.

In terms of games, I'm a big advocate of turn-based games.

They're structured.

Think of card games, UNO, chutes and ladders, candy land.

Think of card games like you know, UNO.

And moving forward you can also have a lot of structure in building, building blocks, Legos.

Again, these are all turn-based, and you want to use visual cue cards to tell your child, now it's your turn or now it's my turn.

And in all of these games and activities, you're inherently teaching your child how to be themselves and how to actually learn patience and structure and why rules are there.

So again, you really want to use those visual cues.

So, you know, to really observe individual play is the first thing.

And then really push for parallel play.

Low focus, no need for your child to directly interact with another child.

>>So Dr.

Loftin, what makes a classroom club or activity feel welcoming to neurodivergent kids?

And what red flags should suggest to parents that this may or may not be the best fit for them?

>>I would start with flexibility and accommodation.

At any age, what matters most is an environment that respects what a person needs in order to feel comfortable and engage.

One person is gonna need to move around or stand in order to stay present and listen while another person is gonna benefit from clear structure and knowing when breaks will happen and knowing when an activity will end.

And in a welcoming setting, these needs are all treated as support needs and not behavior problem or somebody being difficult.

I'd also pay really close attention to how the leaders in the room handle correction or redirection.

In a supportive setting, redirection is calm and natural and explanatory.

So you might hear something like, let's try this instead because what you're doing right now might get you hurt, rather than just don't do that, don't do that.

The focus is on guidance and understanding rather than just punishment because it's instructive and not looking to demean the kid.

Some red flags really might include very rigid rules without room for individual needs, a heavy focus on compliance over engagement or frequent correction without that kind of explanation I talked about.

If a child or adult consistently appears stressed or shut down or singled out, that's a really clear indicator that the setting just isn't affirming for them.

>>All right, thank you.

So Dr.

Sallee, how can parents discern between an independent happy child who's fine with being on their own and a child who really wants to have friends but struggles to make them?

>>So social connection is a fundamental human need.

So I would say, you know, we certainly want to be raising children who are self-reliant, right?

They can make decisions, maybe they can do their own laundry, they can learn how to regulate their emotions, but being connected socially is still really important part of their development.

So people vary in how much socializing they want to do, but certainly having some social connection is really important.

So I would say if they're happy doing things independently, that's wonderful, and there's still room to make sure that they are making and fostering social connections.

>>All right, thank you.

So Rachael Grace, when kids find communities that they feel safe, how does that impact them later in life in shaping their confidence in their leadership?

>>I love this question.

Shout out to Leverage Ed National Cohort of Educators 'cause I just served on a panel with this very topic.

So when we help our children find safe harbors, they inherently switch their internal narrative to understanding that they might be different and they're capable.

They're not a broken person who needs to be fixed.

And this translates beautifully and seamlessly to leadership roles.

For example, you might have a lead engineer who is hyper-focused on their work.

What does that mean?

That means you have an expert in your company who knows every in and out of their subject, and that is a wonderful thing to have.

In leadership, you'll also find that these children who found safe spaces turn into leaders who inherently by default provide their own safe spaces for their teams 'cause this is what they're used to.

And I love this facet of it because I truly believe that when you are able to make a safe harbor for your most vulnerable population, you inherently make it safe for everyone.

Within leadership as well, this population often tends to not play with social hierarchy.

They don't really care as much about who has which title.

They really are about the work and the vision.

And because of pattern recognition, oftentimes these turn into leaders who can spot challenges down the road way ahead of time, which gives the entire team, you know, the ability to see things ahead of time and really collaborate in a new way.

So I really think finding a safe harbor for anyone in childhood, of course, really validates, and which leads to a high level of confidence and the feeling of not having to expend your energy in how to align with a world.

Rather, it flips into how to contribute to the world.

>>All right.

So Dr.

Loftin, what does health healthy parental support look like in the realm of friendships without parents stepping in over the line and taking over?

>>Yeah, it really comes down to supporting without stepping in too much.

It's so natural for caregivers to want to jump in, especially when an interaction feels awkward or when their child seems to be struggling socially, but stepping into prompt or correct mid interaction can send the unintended message that the child isn't capable of handling it independently, and kids can really internalize that.

Often, the most helpful support around the interaction is better than inside of it, and that might look like helping your child find environments that are better fits, making sure supports are in place in the setting, or talking things through or reviewing a social story in advance to make sure your child is more comfortable because they know what to expect once they get into the setting.

>>Watch the full ask the expert segment on our website at awodtv.org if you wanna learn more about this topic.

You can also watch or listen on Facebook, YouTube or on your favorite podcasting platform.

(bright music continues) When she was three, doctors diagnosed Dani Bowman with autism.

For her first six years, she didn't speak, but her mind was already animated with images, hinting at the future ahead.

At 14, she founded DaniMation Entertainment dedicated to empowering neurodivergent students by producing animated content and teaching animation skills.

Since then, Bowman has produced more than a dozen award-winning animated short films showcasing autistic talent, and she's appeared on Netflix's "Love on the Spectrum US".

But her true passion is advocacy, championing equity, opportunity and representation for neurodivergent individuals in the workplace and across society's storyboard.

Dani doesn't just find her tribe, she builds it and she brings others along.

(bright music) (gentle music) (children chattering) (birds chirp) >>Let me tell you how this passion of mine turned into a career.

So let's go to left and let's rewind a bit.

I never knew that I have some autism or never knew what autism was until I moved in to live with my aunt and uncle when I was around 11 years old, and I overheard Aunty Sandy describing that I'm autistic, and what is autism?

I never heard that term before.

My first reaction was, "What?

Was that a disease or something?"

And she says, "No, it's not really a disease, it's just the way you are made."

>>Fist Bump.

(indistinct) Really nice to meet you, fist bump.

>>When she moved in with us, that's what I really started noticing, she would go into these worlds in her mind and and create and talk and, but then in our world, as she called it, our real world, she had a problem with it.

>>When she's communicating about her art and what she's done, it's a completely different person.

So at that point we really started engaging and bringing that out and really trying to understand how that worked and used it as a kind of a lever to key really to draw Dani out and try to make her more social.

At the same time, she had all these wonderful ideas and all this ambition of all these series she wanted to create.

She had a goal of creating her own animation company, and so we said, let's see what we can do with it and how far we can take it.

>>Sandy and Patrick definitely saw the potential, but I wanted to do more animation.

I have a dream of starting my own animation series.

So we officially launched the DaniMation Entertainment website in 2009.

So Sandy and Patrick were not the only ones, they're not the only heroes that helped me changed my life.

(gentle music) Along the way, I had some amazing people who believed in me.

>>Dani, I met when she was 14 years old.

They brought her in to meet with me, and the first thing she said to me is, "Oh, Joey Travolta, it's so nice to meet you."

We started talking about her work.

I saw everything that she did and we were in the middle of writing a children's book.

So we hired her to do the job and I got the first passes of everything and it was absolutely beautiful.

(gentle music continues) I hired Dani to start doing classes.

She developed her whole craft of doing this and she's quite good.

Now she has a big business.

She teaches anime.

It's just unbelievable.

>>And she's tenacious, and once she wants to find something about something, she just, nothing could stop her.

>>Due to the research that I found about autism and autism employment statistics, that mostly 90% of people on the autism spectrum are unemployed or underemployed.

So I decided to take action to be an animation social enterprise that helps educate, elevate and empower people on the autism spectrum to give them a chance to create their own animation content while they're making the fair profit.

How cool is that?

That looks like a logo.

>>My biggest pride in accomplishment is when I see the students that Dani works with actually get it and then thrive, then go forward with it.

That just like, wow, this is, this, it's working.

You know, when we have a student that was Dani's students for three or four years and now she's an assistant working for DaniMation too, and she's so good at it.

>>Now I'm officially an assistant teacher and I work part-time and I, and I really enjoyed it.

I feel like she can be an inspiration for a lot of autistic people who want to become animators in the future.

>>And remember, if you can see it, you can be it.

Even though there is a big progress, everything has changed.

For us neurodivergents, it's, we just have to find a way to bridge that gap.

I get a lot of students on the autism spectrum because their parents gave them the push to bring their passion to their whole new level.

>>From Netflix's "Love on the Spectrum", please welcome Dani Bowman.

(participants applaud) >>After "Love on the Spectrum" aired on Netflix, the first season in May of 2022, we started to see a huge impact.

We are getting more customers recognizing me and attending our more animation classes.

It definitely benefits the company's recognition.

We at DaniMation would like to become a production in-house animation studio that would eventually expand to creating feature films, television series, video games, you name it.

So go out there and find what you love and chase it with everything you've got.

(participants applaud) (bright music) >>Congratulations to Dani Bowman for making a difference.

And that does it for this episode of "A World of Difference, Embracing Neurodiversity".

I'm Daryl Owens.

Thanks for being a part of our world.

We'll see you next time.

(bright music) You can watch episodes of "A World of Difference" on the Beacon College Facebook and YouTube channels and on the show's website, awodtv.org.

The website also provides tip sheets and other resources for your parenting journey.

You can watch the show from the PBS App available on your favorite streaming device, and you can listen on your favorite podcasting platform.

Thank you for watching and supporting "A world of Difference".

(bright music) (energetic music)