Narrator: Art can be controversial.

It can be a reflection of the time in which it was produced.

At All Arts, we believe you should be able to view any work of art as it was originally conceived and performed.

The following program contains strong language and mature content.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Man: Can we come a little bit stage right?

Man #2: Places, everyone.

Comedy, man.

I love it.

Ugh.

I love it.

I love hearing comedy.

I love hearing people laugh.

It's, like -- I swear, it's the only thing keeping me alive, man.

That -- Well, my name is Jose Sonera, and I am the writer and performer of "Prinze: The One-Man Show."

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Oh, muchas gracias.

Thank you.

It's one of those things where I told myself, "I can't leave Earth without telling this one story."

I come from two different backgrounds -- Hungarian and Puerto Rican.

I'm a "Hungarican," which is a heavy title because I can never figure out how my parents met -- a Gypsy and a Puerto Rican.

I asked my mother.

She said they were on the subway trying to pick each other's pocket.

Freddie Prinze is a comedian from the 1970s who blew up at a very early age, very, very fast.

For the Latino community, he really broke down barriers for a lot of us.

I went to High School of the Performing Arts.

I didn't know it then that Freddie went to the same high school, and I started doing comedy stand-up around that time.

[ Laughter ] In showing me the comparisons, someone said, "Oh, man.

You remind me of Freddie," and at the time, I had no idea who he was, and when I learned about him, immediately, like, I fell in love because he reminded me like a family member.

He was like a family member I had no idea I had because he was up there talking about similar experiences, about my, you know, our background, growing up in New York City as a Puerto Rican and a Puerto Rican mom and went to the same high school, and I was like, "Man, who is this guy?"

Like, "This guys is, like, me."

The wig immediately, right, begins to feel like Freddie.

-Yeah.

-It became a real personal thing to make sure that his story got told, especially as time went by.

I felt this responsibility tugging at me.

It's like, if I don't say this, no one else is going to.

Looking good!

All right.

So, we begin to play with stand-up.

That's the format.

Freddie is in a comedy club doing comedy stand-up, and I had this idea, "What happens when he goes backstage?"

And the first scene when he goes backstage to the green room -- It's our first introduction of seeing him where he's at when he's not performing, and he's sort of letting the audience know it's very important to him that he clarifies his situation because there's been a lot of stuff about him in the media and the magazines, newspaper, and it -- He feels like its been misinterpreted.

"Freddie Prinze gets angry on the set of 'Chico and the Man.'"

So, in this play is sort of an opportunity for him to sort of clear the air and let you know, "This is what you've read, but this is what it's really like, and you're going to hear it from me."

Yeah, that's when I realized, shit, I need help.

As you see him progress throughout the play, you see his realities of having to deal with a divorce, with having to deal with a lawsuit, and then the irony to have to go onstage and be funny.

It's when the music stops, you know?

You see him falling apart, and hopefully, it explains, you know, what happened to him.

Thank you.

Goodnight!

Freddie Prinze was a shining star.

For someone to rise to fame at the age of 19 and skyrocket all the way to the top, get a hit TV show and become the star that he did in such a short frame, it's unheard of, and I don't think anybody can do what he did.

Announcer: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Improvisation LA.

Our host and star of the show tonight here in Los Angeles, ladies and gentlemen, would you put your hands together for Mr.

Freddie Prinze?

[ Cheers and applause ] Hello!

Looking good!

All right.

Wow.

We got a lot of people here tonight, huh?

I see some white people.

[ Laughter ] Any Puerto Ricans in the house?

Audience: Ay!

Ay!

We're so proud, Puerto Ricans.

"Ay!

Puerto Rico!"

You know?

Last time I was here I asked if there were any Puerto Ricans, one guy alone, corsage, no girlfriend, and to add insult upon injury, sitting all the way in the back near the kitchen.

If a busboy dies, they're going to grab him, right?

So I asked him, "What are you doing back there?"

"They put me here!

Where you want me to go?"

Typical attitude of Puerto Ricans, right?

It's like, "Are those cockroaches?"

"Yeah, leave them with me.

I'll watch them for you.

No problem."

That's why we never made it in the '60s.

Black folks made it in the '60s because they wouldn't take it.

Maître d' would say, "Oh, yes.

We have a table over here, sir."

"No, sucker, over there."

We have a great show for you folks tonight.

Let's keep it going for our next comic coming up.

He's a former Rolls-Royce salesman, a good friend of mine, a former roommate who's wall I messed up with a few -- [ Pops mouth ] It's a long story.

Would you please put your hands together for Mr.

Jay Leno.

Give it up for Jay, everyone.

[ Cheers and applause ] Guys, give me a minute.

Um... Thank you so much for coming out here tonight, guys.

This really means a lot to me.

We have a great show for you folks tonight, great comics.

I'm going to go out, do my comedy.

It's going to be great, but tonight, we're going to talk.

I'm telling you my side of the story.

None of this bullshit, which you know 'cause you read it.

You know it.

None of this tonight.

Nope.

Tonight, we're going to have a conversation, and I'm going to tell you my side of the story.

We're going to set the record straight.

Can we do that?

Yeah?

All right.

But before I do, I got to find my shit!

Where's my shit?

I tell her to leave it right here.

You know, she drives me crazy when she moves my shit around, you know?

This drives me crazy, you know?

"Freddie Prinze gets angry on the set of 'Chico and the Man.'

He gets so angry he almost punches someone in the face when"-- [ Chuckles ] No, not tonight.

Tonight, we're going to talk.

I'm going to tell you my side of the story, none of this shit.

Nope, none of that.

Tonight, we're going to have a conversation.

Right, yeah?

Yeah.

Nope, nope, nope.

Okay!

But before I do, where is my shit?

I tell her -- Carol!

Carol!

Oh, shit.

You know, when she moves my shit around, it makes me really angry, you know, but Puerto Rican anger is different, right?

No, it is.

No.

Puerto Ricans -- We get angry.

We get animated.

Right?

It's like white folks.

White folks get angry, you know, tend to elongate their vowels, right?

You say, "Oh, come on.

Oh, come on!

I mean, really?"

Puerto Ricans, we get angry.

We get animated, right?

We use our hands a lot.

It's like... [ Speaking Spanish ] [ Laughter ] Black folks are a little more confrontational, right?

"Bitch, where you at?"

Come on, you got to laugh.

You got to laugh.

If you don't know how to laugh, you don't know how to live.

My mom always said that, and she's right.

You got to laugh, otherwise shit like this drives you crazy, man.

Look.

"Star of 'Chico and the Man,' Freddie Prinze, storms off the set.

He gets angry when they question his portrayal of playing a Chicano.

He gets so angry he almost punches somebody.

He punches the wall."

Wow.

I punched a wall.

But they wrote it, so it must be true, right?

But that's -- that's their job, man.

They write this shit, print it, sell it.

You buy it.

You read it.

They print more, and that's the Hollywood machine, man.

That's how it works, you know?

If they were to write something like, "Star Freddie Prinze does benefit for children's hospitals to raise money for sick kids," who gives a shit?

But a picture with the same kid saying, "The child Freddie won't admit he has."

Ooh, take my money.

I want to read about that shit, you know?

But that's their job, man.

That's the price we got to pay, you know?

They love taking that camera, getting this close and going pop, pop, pop, and printing whatever the hell they want.

Yeah.

All right.

But if you come at me with that camera, and you get this close, and I go -- and knock your teeth in, well, that's the price you got to pay.

You wrote it.

You said I punched walls.

I punched you, motherfucker.

[ Laughter ] We all got a price to pay.

You don't think so?

They don't let you get this rich and famous without a price to pay.

They want a piece of my soul.

Guess what?

Not for sale.

Carol!

C-- Ugh.

Carol is my assistant.

She'll be here in a minute.

She's great.

She takes care of my shit.

She's great.

My wife, Kathy, introduced me to her.

My wife -- I love my wife.

No, I do.

I love my wife.

Despite whatever you read here, I love my wife.

It's just -- Look.

Anybody here married?

-Mm-hmm.

-Whoo!

-[ Scoffs ] You hear that?

"Mm-hmm.

Don't talk about her.

Mmm."

But that's exactly it.

That's how it is, man.

When you're married, you got shit.

Shit happens, you know?

It's just that I'm a celebrity, so my stuff gets highlighted, you know?

We're going to be fine.

That's my wife.

That's the mother of my child, man.

I love my wife.

We're going to be fine.

Oh, shit.

Is Jay done?

Guys, here's how it's going to work.

We have a great comedy show for you folks.

I'm going to go out, do my comedy.

It's going to be great, but in between acts, I'm coming back here, and we're going to talk, and I'm going to tell you my side of the story.

All right?

Hang tight.

Oh, and do me a favor.

If Carol comes... tell her to leave my shit right there.

[ Cheers and applause ] But there's a -- Oh, look, latecomers.

Yes, I love those.

Puerto Ricans?

-Yes.

-I knew it.

[ Laughter ] That's how we do it.

That's okay.

There's a code among muggers, right?

Like, if you're a mugger in New York and somebody says, "Stick them up," they hit you.

So my mother would give me a dollar a day, criminal money, right?

She would say, "Freddie, if a criminal bother you, don't fight.

Give him the money.

You can always get more money but never get your life back," you know?

So, mother would give me a dollar a day, so this kid named Henry would rob me every day.

I knew him.

If he was sick, I'd take the money to his house for him.

So this one day, I didn't have my dollar.

He goes, "Hey.

Hey, Freddie, where's my dollar?"

"I spent it?"

"What?!

I'm going to tell your mother."

As soon as I get home, "Henry call me.

You spend his money?"

Pow, no fun where I grew up, you know?

In my neighborhood, my best friend was this dude named Nat, tall Black dude.

He played the trumpet.

I was in his band.

I played the drums.

We used to hang out, you know?

He was about 6'8", but 5 inches of him was hair and 3 inches platforms, so actually he's about 6', 6'1", but he was good, clean, right?

And it was Nat that first initiated me into an all-Black gang called the Royal Lords because I wanted to join.

It was the only gang in the neighborhood.

We didn't fight anybody.

We just had a gang to have a gang, right?

And the first day he initiated me, he said, "Say, Fred, come here.

This ain't usual procedure for the Royal Lords, but we're going to let a Puerto Rican in.

We've been getting a lot of static how we ain't an equal-opportunity gang, so we're going to let you in, my man, but you have to get your initiation.

And your initiation is to ask Ralphie -- You see the fellow eating the building over there?

Ask Ralphie how his father does the boogaloo."

So I didn't know any better.

I said, "Ralphie, how does your father do the boogaloo?"

"My father ain't got no legs, man!

[ Laughter ] I kills you!"

[ Laughter ] They were putting me on, but they got me good, though, you know?

We all went to the same school, right, messed with the same teachers, you know?

A teacher would ask, "Nat, do you know how to spell 'murder'?"

"Nah, but I can demonstrate it."

[ Laughter ] And it was Nat who first had me to think, "Black folks, when they get upset, their voices go high and loud, and when they're talking to their girl, it goes really low, deep and romantic."

-Mm-hmm.

-So God forbid a brother is arguing with his lady asking her to wait for him and threatening a dude that he's going to kill him.

He sound like, [high-pitched] "Say, man, don't be getting in my face no more.

I'll whip your ass, man.

[Low-pitched voice] Listen, mama, I'll be with you in a minute.

All right?"

[ Normally ] And if a Black guy can't fight, he'll prey on your brain.

"Say, man, I'll break your nose.

You bleed, I kills your mama."

Too soon?

Too soon?

Let's keep it going for our next comic coming up.

This next -- They say comedians are hard to find, but this one is brilliant and a friend of mine.

Would you please put your hands together for Elayne Boosler, everyone?

Give it up for Elayne.

[ Cheers and applause ] Comedy, man.

I love it.

Ugh.

I love it.

I love hearing comedy.

I love hearing people laugh.

It's like -- I swear it's the only thing keeping me alive, man.

That -- Ah, shit.

That and my baby boy.

Look.

As much as I love making people laugh, nothing beats the sound of my baby boy, especially when I can make him laugh, you know?

I grab my little chunky, and I go -- [ Vocalizing ] [ Blows raspberries ] As parents, we have to make our kids laugh.

You do.

Sometimes that's all you got.

My mom did that for me.

My mom, oh, yeah.

My mom would find the humor in just about anything, man.

If she was angry, if she was upset, you would never know it because she was too busy laughing, you know?

I'll never forget it.

We were in the elevator of my building in Washington Heights.

It was the '60s.

We had just moved in, and these two older white ladies get in the elevator with us, and they look at me, and they look at my mom, and they go, "Oh, look.

Hmm.

Margaret, look.

The Spics are here."

[ Chuckles ] It was the '60s.

It wasn't what it is now, you know?

So when my father went to get the apartment, this white, tall, blue eyes, blond-hair, Hungarian-looking man, well, they gave him the apartment never expecting for him to bring along this little Puerto Rican mama.

And, well, once you bring one Puerto Rican, all Puerto Ricans get -- Before you know it, the Puerto Rican flag is out the window, rice and beans smell over the hallway, music blasting until 2:00 in the morning -- [ Lively music playing ] That's all you hear!

If you have Puerto Rican neighbors... that's it.

You don't go upstairs, and downstairs, all they hear is this... [ Stomping ] Oh, come on!

What the hell?

That's it.

You got to shake your ass.

That's how we do it.

So there we are in the elevator.

They're looking at me, and they're looking at my mom.

"Oh, the Spics are here," and I could see my mom's wheels turning, and she goes, "Papito, today rice and beans for you, but [speaking Spanish]" And she turns to them, and she goes, "I'm a human being, too!

[ Speaking Spanish ]" [ Vocalizing ] That was my first lesson in life, seeing how my mom took that racist bullshit and flipped it and made it funny, and that's what I want to do for my boy.

Teach him how to laugh at the racist bullshit that life is going to throw you, because it will.

It will, because that's how you survive.

It is.

How else was this half-Hungarian, half-Puerto-Rican kid from the streets of Washington Heights going to survive?

I was a misfit.

I wasn't Hungarian enough.

I wasn't Puerto Rican enough, and I had asthma.

I had some really bad asthma.

[ Laughter ] I'm the 6'-tall, Puerto Rican-looking kid with the last name Pruetzel, or, as the kids would say, pretzel.

"Hey!

Hey, fat pretzel!

Where's my dollar?"

"I-I-I-" -- "Get that fat pretzel."

"Oh, ah, oh!"

That was me most of my childhood.

I didn't want to get hit, always running, and this one time, I didn't want to get hit, and call it survival instincts, but I started -- I was like, "Whoa!

Ah!

Ugh!"

they didn't know whether to laugh, cry, call the cops.

They were like, "Damn, this dude crazy right here.

Shit."

I make it all the way home, and I am having a full asthma attack, and I don't want my mom and my dad to see me this way, so I close the door.

And my mom is like... [ Knocking ] ..."Papi, is everything okay?"

"Yeah.

Yeah, Mom.

I'm okay."

"Ay, Papi.

Why you breathing so hard?"

"I'm taking a shit.

I don't know."

"Ay, sounds like a big [speaks Spanish].

Push it.

Push it really good, Papito."

I'm coughing.

I'm talking blood all over.

[ Coughing ] All I could do was open the door and go, "Mommy!

Mommy!"

My mom comes in, sees all that blood and goes, "Ay, dios mío!

Ay, Jesus Christ, don't let me son die."

I don't know what happened next, man, but I remember waking up in the hospital room with my pops over here, my mom over here.

"Jesus Christ, don't let him die.

Jesus Christ."

And the doctor looks at my mom.

He goes, "Mary, you know your Freddie almost died?

You almost lost you son."

My mom was convinced that her prayers had kept me alive, man.

And can I tell you, after all that praying, not only did it keep me alive, but my asthma -- It went away.

It was the first time I had experienced God's healing power, man.

But it was this, the fear in my mom's eyes, that I couldn't shake.

This little lady, who was able to find the humor and laughter in just about anything -- She couldn't laugh this time because nothing funny about being told that your son almost died, and I did that to her.

I caused her that fear.

Never again.

I told myself, "Never again will I do that to my mom."

That's why I hate this shit because I know she's reading it, and I know she's getting worried.

Look.

"Freddie knifed in his own neighborhood.

On his way home from work, somebody sticks him up, getting into a knife fight, almost losing his life."

"Ay, dios mío, Papito.

Are you okay?"

"Ma, Ma.

Ma, I'm fine.

Ma, of course, I'm fine.

I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Yeah.

Ma, no, this is Hollywood.

They have to write this stuff, Ma.

I'm okay, Ma.

I'm okay."

[ Applause in distance ] I'll be back.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, would you put your hands together for Mr.

Freddie Prinze.

[ Cheers and applause ] People are recognizing me now.

I like it.

[ Laughter ] Old ladies recognize me.

It takes them an hour.

Right?

They grin a lot.

"Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

You're you.

[ Laughter ] That's you."

Black folks recognize me.

It takes them an hour to make sure they're right.

[ Laughter ] "Is that my man?

Television?

[ Laughs ] Oh, man.

Me and my lady watch you every week, man.

We love you!

Hey, Mama, come down and meet Merv Griffin."

My people recognize me too, you know?

"Say, Freddie Prinze, you made it.

You making money.

Stick them up, you know?"

So in traveling I've discovered the differences between the three cities, you know, New York, Chicago and LA.

Like, in New York, because of the crime, people are more uptight, more paranoid.

You can't blame them.

In Chicago, they're sweet, sweeter than most cities.

In LA, well, they get high a lot, and you can always tell when you're driving your car, right?

Sometimes you're driving on the expressway and somebody's car door is open... [ Laughter ] ...or slightly ajar, and you want to warn them, right?

In New York -- "Excuse me!

You better be careful."

Your car door is open.

"Mind your own business!

Drive your own car!"

[ Laughter ] In Chicago: "Careful, your car door is open."

"Well, I got four of them.

Would you like one?"

[ Laughter ] LA: "Careful, your car door is open."

"Oh, wow.

I didn't even know I had a car door, baby.

[ Chuckles ] [ Laughter ] Well, thank you for telling me, man, because doors are like legs.

They open and close, you know?

You want to go to McDonalds and eat 80 burgers with me?"

They say LA is full of smog.

That's marijuana smoke.

Walking down the street you get a contact high.

Cop pulls you over, he's loaded.

"Whoo!

What did I do, Officer?"

"Hell if I know.

Scared you!"

[ Chuckles ] But the junkies, they do know how to lie in court, man.

You know, you've seen it.

"You're Honor, I'm straight, baby.

This cop was just trying to get a promotion from me.

I didn't steal no car.

Does it look like I can drive?

I don't need no lousy car.

I'm a track star, baby.

Look at me."

Hey, let's bring it up for our next comic.

This guy is insane and brilliant.

He's one of my best friends.

Will you please put your hands together for Tim Thomerson, everyone.

Give it up for Tim.

[ Applause ] [ Sighs ] You know, comedy, that was always going to be my ticket out, you know?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, what else was I going to do, sell drugs?

No, no, no.

Not under my mother's watch.

Instead, I would get lost in my room, man.

Oh, my room, that's where everything happened for me, you know?

My room -- That's where I had my first radio show, huh?

I did my first impressions in my room, my Richard Nixon, "I am not a crook" [ Vocalizes ] My Bob Hope, Rich Little, Ed Sullivan, "And the next one coming up, it's The Beatles," and I had the best audience in the world -- my mom and my dad.

Well, again, my mom, really, because I told you my dad, he worked the night shift as a tool and die maker at this factor, so it's me and my mom.

Right?

Let me say something about my dad real quick before we go any further.

I love my dad, but he had to work.

That's what dads do.

Dads -- I get it.

I'm a dad.

I'm working right now.

That's what dads do, you know?

But before my dad met my mom, he had a previous marriage where he lost his little girl in a pool accident while he was working in the house.

It was a trauma that my mom says he never fully recovered from.

I can imagine, you know?

That's why it was important for him to laugh, and I made that my goal, you know?

I would look at my dad and go, "Dad!

Dad!

I am not a crook!"

[ Vocalizes ] I just wanted him to look at me and go, "Right."

Anyway, while my dad wasn't there, my mom was there, you know, and she made up for that time, you know?

Oh, yeah.

My mom -- Oh, my mom.

I would come home late.

I'd be waiting for her in the kitchen.

She'd meet me there with a glass of lemonade, and we would talk about everything and everything, man.

My mom is the best.

Are you kidding me?

We would talk about -- for hours and laugh.

Oh, my God, would we laugh!

I could ask her whatever I want.

Nothing was off limits.

Anything I wanted to ask her, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

"Well, Papito, they say a seagull flies by and drops them off... [ Laughter ] ...but I think it's when I get on all four and your father grabs my behind and smacks my ass."

"Ah!

Oh, Ma, you're going to traumatize me!"

"Well, Papito, you ask me, and I tell you the truth.

I always tell you the truth."

"I know you do.

That's why I love you."

"I love you, too, Papi, and your father loves you too in his own way, and he worries about you."

"Ma, why does he worry?

I worry for you guys.

You guys work so hard.

I want you guys to retire so I can buy you a house."

"A house?

Ay, papi, please no.

We don't need a house.

We're fine.

We just want you to be happy.

That's it.

Papito, go out there and get your education, and get a good job so you're not stuck in a 9:00 to 5:00 like us and go out there and live your dreams, Papito.

Live your dreams!"

And I did.

I tried out for High School of the Performing Arts.

That was my way to live my dream, man, and I went in there for acting, mind you, with some Shakespeare shit.

[ Laughter ] "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks.

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."

Why couldn't Shakespeare just say, "Mira mami.

You looketh good in a tighteth dress.

It makes your ass looks huge"?

It would've been the same thing, you know, but I got in, mind you, the only one from PS-52.

I was good.

You see, that's how it started for me, man.

A lot of people look at Freddie and they go, "Oh, the funny guy.

Tell us another joke.

Come on, monkey boy.

Tell us -- Make us laugh, you know?"

But it was acting.

That's how it started.

It was.

Comedy for me was an accident.

It was a discovery.

It was because I was cast in my first theatrical debut in Neil Simon's "Barefoot in the Park" at the school play.

If you don't know the play, it's about this young white couple.

They get married.

They go to live on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in a building.

There's no elevator, and that's the joke.

[ Laughter ] Everybody has to go up five flight of stairs.

Everyone is out of breath.

Ha, ha, ha, white people.

[ Laughter ] Every Puerto Rican building is like that, you know?

But there I am, and I'm playing the part of Henry Pepper, a Jewish, middle-aged, out-of-shape, telephone repair man.

And I'm about to make my stage entrance, and then it hits me.

"What the hell do I know about being a Jewish, middle-aged, out-of-shape, telephone repair man?"

So I decide to change him, and I make him into my own, and I go from being Henry Pepper into Henrique Pepino.

[ Spanish accent ] "Hello!

Telephone company.

Anyone home?"

[ American accent ] "Oh, the telephone is here.

Yes, do come in."

[ Spanish accent ] "Oh, my God.

That is quite a crime, a lot of steps.

I'm a little out of shape, a little out of breath.

[ Laughs ] Okay.

Where you want the phone?

Right here?

No problem.

Okay.

Here we go.

Hello?

El Dorado 58191.

El Dorado 58191."

[ American accent ] "Oh, is that my new number?

El Dorado 58191."

[ Spanish accent ] "Yes, yes.

That's a beautiful number.

Hello, Mr.

Bell.

There you go!

You did it again.

There you have it.

I made the first phone call come from the sweepstakes, okay?

Okay.

And by the way, my name is Henrique Pepino, and if you have any problems, do me a favor.

Don't call Henrique Pepino.

Okay, Miss El Dorado 58191, have a good life, and may you have many different extensions.

Oh, my God!

So many steps!

I can't believe it!

I can't believe it!"

[ Laughter ] [ Normally ] That was it.

Once I heard that laughter, I couldn't get enough.

That changed my life.

Me -- I made this entire room explode with laughter, and I wanted more.

My life was not the same ever again, man.

This was it.

This was a high I had to get again.

I would go down the school hallway yelling, "Showtime!

Showtime!"

gathering the boys and the girls, telling whatever joke would come to me, you know?

A Puerto Rican and a black guy in a car, who's driving?

The cops, right?

[ Laughter ] I mean, there were just jokes, bah, bah, bah, you know?

People spent a lifetime trying to figure out what they want to do in life, but for me, in that moment, I knew this was it.

This is what I had to do, man.

I wasn't good in sports or outdoor activities, but this here, ooh, this here I could do, and I could do well, and I wanted more, you know?

So I quickly started hitting the comedy clubs, taking whatever spot would come to me.

1:00, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning, I don't care.

As long as they had a spot to try my material, that's all that mattered, man, you know, but when you're coming home 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning from the comedy clubs to go to school the next day -- Yeah, something has got to give, you know?

And my mom, she wasn't 100 percent on board.

"What do you mean you're dropping out of high school?"

"Ma, I can't do comedy and school at the same time."

"Well, Papi, finish school, and then you can take a break."

"Ma, this ain't a break.

This is my calling.

I got to do this now."

"But, Papi, you're not even getting paid.

Your father and I, we're not rich.

We can't leave money behind.

All we can do is make sure you get your education."

"But, Ma, this is my education.

They don't teach comedy in school.

I got to do this now."

"But, Papi --" "Mommy, listen, listen.

Now is the time.

I got to do it now.

Ma, I tell you what.

I can't make it happen in one year, I go back to school.

Heck, I'll even become a minister."

I meant it.

She reluctantly agreed, and I started hitting the comedy clubs.

I got to tell you, there is nothing sweeter than performing at 2:00, 3:00 in the morning for a half-assed, drunk, racist audience, man.

"Oh, look.

The Spanish boy is on stage again.

Tell us another joke, you little brown Spic!

[ Raspy laugh ] And when you're done up there, go back to the kitchen where you belong.

Get us another beer, you little shit."

[ Raspy laugh ] That does something to you, man.

It does.

It makes you question everything, man, because I thought, "Man, maybe my mom was right.

Maybe I should go back to school.

What the hell am I doing, you know?"

But no, no, no, no, because that means I quit.

I don't quit.

Freddie don't quit.

Freddie wins.

I had to figure out how to make this work.

I had to figure out what wasn't working.

I had to survive.

Shit.

I've been surviving all my life, watching my mom take that same racist bullshit and flip it and make it funny, and that's what I had to do, so I started approaching my comedy very different, man.

I would go in there like, "Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your wallets.

There's a Puerto Rican on the premise.

I may have a knife.

I know how to use it.

Uh-oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

We keep our knives backstage for cooking, so let me say a few brown jokes, and then I go back to the kitchen where I belong and I get your beer, yea?

Let me get your order, sir.

What are you going to have?

Budweiser?

[ Gasps ] That's the Puerto Rican beer after all.

You might be my cousin.

Let me give you a test.

Are your sofas covered in plastic?

Oh, dios mío!"

And it worked.

It worked.

But I didn't come out here to survive, you understand?

I'm -- Yeah, okay, I'm funny, sure, and so are the five other comics waiting to hit the stage.

Who cares?

I want to know what makes me different, what makes me stand out.

What makes me stand out from the rest, you know?

Oh, shit, I don't have to look too far, half Hungarian, half Puerto Rican, from the streets of New York.

Shit, I owned that shit, you know, so I started using that, and one night I'm doing comedy, and comedic legend in his own right David Brenner is sitting right there in the audience, and he happened to catch this Puerto Rican force come at him.

"Hey, kid.

Who writes your stuff?"

I'm like, "I do."

"Good.

Keep it up, but if you want to be on television, you're going to have to polish it up."

He's about to walk away, and I go, "Hey, hey.

What don't you help me polish it up?"

And just like that, the beginning of a new friendship.

David Brenner now becomes responsible for polishing my act, getting me ready for my first television debut, and, first of all, allowing me to see the dream.

Yes, you see?

Up until this point in my life... all I knew were the four walls in my parents' apartment, but when David invited me to his place, it was my first glimpse at seeing how rich white people lived.

Oh, there was so much space, an eat-in kitchen, a chandelier, a wonderful view, and I remember thinking, "Oh, my God.

I want this.

I want this so bad.

I want a home like this for my parents so I don't -- They don't have to work so hard, you know?"

And I'll never forget it.

David turns to me and goes, "Freddie, everything you see here, I paid for with jokes.

Jokes paid for all this, and someday you'll be able to do the same because you're that good."

Oh, my God.

In life, you need that, man.

You need that someone to look at you and say, "Hey, you can do it.

No, hey, you got it.

I believe in you."

And that's what David did for me.

He believed in me, you know?

It's -- It's the American dream, man, and you come here, and you work really, really hard, and I mean -- I mean hard, and when opportunity comes, you grab that shit, and that's what I wanted to do.

If I was going to do this, I had to be the best.

I had to be the undisputed champion.

I have to be the king of comedy, and I turn to Dave, I said, "David, I want to be the king."

He goes, "You can't."

"Well, why not?"

"Because comedian Alan King takes king."

I'm like, "Ah, these white people.

Well, if I can't be the king... I'll be the prince."

Yes.

And sure enough, I look at the Yellow Pages.

I see Gail Prince, Nicholas Prince.

Man, got all my shit.

But what if I put a Z?

Freddie Prinze.

Nobody had that.

I owned that shit, you know?

My mother has always said, "Many strands goes into the weaving of a pattern of a person's life," and she's right because David Brenner was instrumental in my journey here today, you know, but he wasn't the only David.

There was another David who also gave me my first few shot.

Yep.

He also believed in me, took me under his wings.

I'm talking about David Jonas, my ex m-- Yeah, yeah.

No, I give him credit.

He believed in me.

He gave me my first few shot.

I'm not saying otherwise, but there's a reason why I'm calling him my ex-manager.

I had to fire his ass.

Like you didn't read about this shit?

[ Sighs ] "Freddie Prinze is being sued by David Jonas for breach of contract.

Freddie fires David Jonas.

Freddie did this to himself.

Freddie is the bad guy.

Freddie did this.

Freddie, Freddie" -- Yeah, sure.

Here's what they don't -- Don't tell you.

I had to fire his ass.

He gave me no choice.

Listen, I'm out here in LA for the first time on a hit TV show, right?

I'm on a hit television program, and he's out there in New York.

He doesn't come out here with me.

I asked him to, but he won't do it.

"What is it?

What is it?

You got other priorities?

Is that what it is?

Okay, man, I get it.

Fine.

Do my a favor.

Get the fuck out of my way.

You want to sue me, Jonas?

Go ahead.

Sue me.

Hey, hey, it's a free county.

Do whatever the -- Do whatever the hell you want, you know, but don't expect me to lay down and let you roll over me, man."

No.

Man, come on.

You got to fight that shit.

You got to fight.

You got to fight.

Yeah, that's what life is.

Life is a fight, ladies and gentlemen.

Everything I've had in my life, I got to fight for it.

Shit.

Case in point, my first big break.

There is no doubt that my appearance on "The Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson was the central event that catapulted my career into another hemisphere, man, but it wasn't like they just gave it to me.

They said, "No."

NBC said, "No, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not going to give some kid, some unknown comic, a shot at 'The Tonight Show.'"

It was David Brenner who went in fighting for me saying, "No, you don't understand.

I've seen this kid in action.

You've got to put him on."

"No, no."

"Yes, yes.

Put him on.

I'll get him ready, and you put him on."

And David and I started hitting the comedy clubs, man.

We'd go from the Tripple Inn to Catch a Rising Star to The Improv, the Playboy Mansion, the college tour.

We even did the Jack Paar show.

I felt like a boxer training for his match, man.

I was Muhammad Ali.

"Ooh, move like a butterfly, sting like a bee, rumble, young man, rumble!"

And when it was time for "The Tonight Show" and Johnny parted those curtains -- Whoo!

I was ready to claim my throne as the new prince of comedy.

[ Cheers and applause ] Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Muchas gracias.

Thank you.

Oh, very nice, very nice.

I come from two different backgrounds -- Hungarian and Puerto Rican.

I'm a "Hungarican," which is a heavy title because I could never figure out how my parents met, a Gypsy and a Puerto Rican.

I asked my mother.

She said they were on the subway trying to pick each other's pocket.

My mother -- She was always talking about the wedding.

"Oh, Freddie, the wedding was so beautiful.

You should have been there."

I was.

[ Laughter ] My Puerto Rican relatives, they go all out.

They go out and charter a subway.

It's the greatest wedding, and we moved into this neighborhood in Manhattan called Washington Heights.

It's sort of like the suburb, but Harlem, slum with trees.

Even the birds are doing drugs.

They fall out of trees.

They don't know how to fly.

They come up to you, "Tweet, tweet, turkey.

Give me a quarter," you know?

Even the rats are wearing sneakers and dungarees, you know?

I love the roaches though because you step on a roach, you hear them snap.

The minute you lift your foot, they run like hell.

It's like they know.

[ Snaps fingers ] [ Speaking in Spanish ] And we lived in the -- We had the kind of superintendent in our building -- It's a six-floor run-up, by the way.

It's the kind of building where the super, he never wants to fix anything, but he still wants the keys to your apartment anyway in case of an emergency like he needs a few dollars, you know?

We had Mr.

Rivera, and any time you go to complain to Mr.

Rivera, he answers the door with his six kids, and you feel guilty.

"Sir Rivera, no hot water for 11 years."

"It's not my job.

Don't bother me with your problem.

I don't speak English"... [ Laughter ] which gives the wrong impression of Puerto Ricans, right, because they think all we do is standing on street corners going, "Hey, watch your back," you know?

My mother gives me a lot of advice.

It makes me get in trouble, but she gives me -- She goes, "Freddie, don't wear those ripped underwear.

What if a car hits you?"

and made me think all my life, the first thing the doctor does, "All right.

Check his drawers.

Oh, look at that hole.

Get him out of here.

Call his mother," and what really annoys me is the pervert, Mr.

Whipple from the Charmin commercial?

I saw the commercial in Puerto Rico in Spanish for the first time.

It went, "Excuse me, ladies.

No squeezy, squeezy the Charmin.

All right.

[ Speaking Spanish ] Show me.

I love you.

Show me.

What do you mean 'No squeezy Charmin'?

I squeeze you.

You get out of here," you know, and if we can have that, why can't we have a Puerto Rican astronaut?

Being Puerto Rican, that annoys me, so I wrote to the proper authorities, and I asked, "Why can't we have a Puerto Rican astronaut?"

They wrote back, "What?

Are you kidding me?

All the way to the moon you'd blow the horn, play the radio, stick your head out the window."

[ Speaking Spanish ] Probably figured we'd wear the red foil spacesuit with the vest and the chain, but what they're really afraid of is that get all the way to the moon, we unload the moon buggy, and the hubcaps are missing.

And if they -- And if they can have that, why can't they have a Puerto Rican president?

Imagine if they had a Puerto Rican president, and he got in trouble.

How would he pass the buck?

"It's not my job."

Thank you.

Good night.

[ Applause ] As soon as I was done, I see Johnny Carson doing this.

Uh-huh, yes, Johnny is calling me over to the couch, and I'm sitting on the couch, and I got Sammy Davis, Jr.

on my right, Johnny Carson on my left.

Oh, my God, and I'll never forget it.

Johnny turns to me and goes, "It gives me no greater thrill than to have someone who is absolutely unknown come out here, stand in front of this audience, and completely wipe them out.

Thank you.

A lot of guys start on this show.

You can always tell there's something.

The audience likes them right away.

They're going to like him, and a lot of guys come out here and do comedy, and they go, 'Oh, he's funny, but we don't like him.'

You got great empathy with the audience, kid."

I didn't know it then, but I was making history, you know?

My life changed from that point.

You see, Johnny had never called a comedian over to the couch, much less on their first visit, or much less brown, and there I was with Johnny Carson.

My life changed that day, man.

The world was watching, you know, but one person in particular that would change my life forever was television producer Jimmy Komack from hit shows like "Welcome Back, Kotter" with John Travolta.

[ Inhales deeply ] Well, it just so happened that he was looking to cast a young, Hispanic comedic actor to play the part of Chico Rodriguez opposite veteran actor Jack Albertson for a little show called "Chico and the Man."

That's right, and you know how this story goes, right?

They said, "No."

Yeah, that's right.

NBC once again said, "No, no, no, no, no.

We're not going to give some kid who has some luck on 'The Tonight Show' --" Luck?

It was Jimmy Komack who went in fighting for me, saying, "No, you don't understand.

I've seen this kid in action.

You got to put him on."

"No, no" "Yes, yes.

You got to put him on," so they fly me into the final callbacks, and it's between me, Isaac Ruiz and Lázaro Pérez, a Puerto Rican, a Mexican and a Cuban, so when I got the part -- Oh, I had a chip on my shoulders, man.

Oh, yeah.

To prove to NBC that Jimmy Komack was right, to prove to Johnny's folks that David Brenner was right, to prove to my parents that my 1-year promise, I was right, you know?

I had so much riding on this that the night before the taping, during rehearsal, I was so nervous that I lost my voice.

I call my mom.

"Mommy, Mommy."

My mom starts praying, "Jesus Christ, let my son be okay"... [ Laughter ] ...and I get my voice back, and all I needed to hear was José Feliciano tear apart that opening theme song, man.

[ "Chico and the Man" theme playing ] Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You know it.

Once I heard that, I was ready to go.

♪♪ "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!"

"Oh, buenos dias."

"What are you doing here?"

"Who me?"

"Yes, you."

Do you see anybody else in this garage?

"Garage?

Looks more like un basurero."

"What's the supposed to mean?"

"Basurero?

It means junkyard."

"Would you get out of here, and take your flies with you?"

"What flies?"

"Your flies.

You people got flies all around you, and while you're standing there, your flies are getting together with my flies and making more flies."

"You're a nice man."

"Would you get out of here?

Go back to your own neighborhood.

"This is my neighborhood!"

"Agh."

"I grew up watching this garage run down.

You need me."

"For what?"

"I'm super Mex."

"Who's super Mex?"

"Super Mexicana.

Ask anybody in the barrio about Chico Rodriguez.

You know what they'll tell you, 'Oh, yeah, Chico can take apart and engine and put it back together blindfolded.

He don't need no fancy machine to tell him what the trouble is.'

This is my fancy machine.

One listen, I know what the trouble is.

I took care of my uncle's '64 Chevy, pom-pom on the antennas, Saran Wrap partition and a little dog in the back window with head going up and down."

"Here."

"I'm going to fix something?"

"Yeah, tying up your tongue before it flaps out of your mouth."

"Amigo."

"And don't call me amigo!"

"It means 'friend.'"

"I don't care what it means.

In here, you speak English."

"Very well, friend.

I'd like the first Chicano to be associated with this fabulous garage."

"I'm not complaining now.

I'm reporting this.

You're really testing me.

First me neighborhood, then my wife and now this character?

What am I, a modern day Job?"

"I don't want a job.

I just want to be a part of the team."

"You can take me now.

I'm ready."

"And by the way, it's not nice to talk to Him with liquor on your breath."

"You see?

See what I mean?

Now they're telling us how to talk to one another, and don't drink my water.

That's a switch.

Anyway, everybody knows you people are lazy.

Even if I were to give you a job, you wouldn't show up.

You'd be too busy taking a siesta."

"Hey, man.

I'm me, man.

I went to Vietnam.

I won a Silver Star."

"How, at a craps game?"

"Nah, trying to save the world from democracy.

Mira, let me show you.

I got it right here.

I got the Virgin of Guadalupe, San Felipe, miniature Mission of San José, Saint Christopher.

That's no good.

He got laid off.

Star of David, I take no chances, and my Silver Star."

"You got a can opener in that thing?

Good.

You finally understood English.

Agh."

"Say, man, why are you so grouchy?

I can see why nobody likes you."

"What are you talking about?

What do you mean, nobody likes me?"

"Everybody says, 'Nobody likes you,' but I don't care what everybody says because I like you."

[ Imitates car horn honking ] "What do you want?"

"I need some help."

"I'll show you nobody likes me.

What seems to be the trouble, my friend?"

"Uh, I think my radiator is overheating."

"I'll be happy to take a look.

Let's see what we got here.

Eh."

"Loose radiator hose connection."

"What do you mean?

What are you talking about?

You got to check first.

It could be anything.

Loose radiator hose connection."

"Can you fix it?"

"Yeah, yeah, it'll be a minute."

"Are you going to tell him he needs a big radiator job?"

"No!"

"You're not going to even try to sell him a new fan belt?"

"He doesn't need one."

"See, that's what I like about you.

You're honest."

"There, you're all set."

"Gee, thanks.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a hubcap for this wheel?"

"No, sorry.

We don't carry it."

"It don't hurt to look.

I'll go check in the back."

"I said we don't carry it."

"It don't hurt.

I'll put some water in your radiator."

[ Knocking ] "Say, where'd you get that thing?"

"You don't know what you got back there.

You got to take inventory, man."

"Gee, thanks.

How much do I owe you?"

"Well, let's see here.

Forget about the hose, but those hubcaps, it will be, uh --" "It's on the house."

"What do you mean 'on the house'?"

"Public relations."

"Public relations?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Today is our grand opening.

[ Speaking Spanish ] "What's that supposed to mean?"

"He says, 'Tell the gringo it was a pleasure to come to a garage where they don't try to rip you off.'"

"Yeah, well you can tell him the gringo said to go and -- Tell him I say, 'You're welcome.'"

"Muchas gracias, y voy a regresar."

"And tell all your friends!

Well?

"You're a yo-yo, an enchilada yo-yo."

"But didn't you hear him?

He said he's going to come back.

We're building up the business.

"How, by giving away a hubcap?"

"I couldn't charge him for his own hubcap."

[ Chuckles ] "What do you mean his own hubcap?"

"I got it from the other side of his car."

"That's dishonest!"

"See, that's what I like about you.

You're sincere and honest.

You're one of us."

"What?!"

"You're one of us."

"Bite your tongue."

"What?

It didn't cost him anything, and it made him happy, and I want everybody to be happy.

[ Breathing rapidly ] "If you're looking for a job, forget it."

I already told you.

"I don't want a job."

"Good."

"I want to be a part of something.

I want to belong.

I want a place in the sun."

"Go to the beach."

"Listen, old man.

How about it?

I'm serious, you and me."

"Drop dead."

"There, I'm dead.

Does that help you?

How can you make money off of that?"

"Sure, I can sell your body to science.

I could probably get something extra for the flies."

[ Grunts ] As soon as we were done, silence, and then that silence broke into -- [ Clapping ] Everybody knew they had witnessed magic.

The chemistry between Jack and I was undeniable.

We had a hit, and everybody knew it.

It was my classy way of telling NBC, "Come on!"

and they said I wasn't ready, you know?

That's why you never take no for an answer.

Your job is to take that no and flip it and make it a yes, and that's what I did, man.

I took that shit and made it into a yes.

[ Inhales deeply ] And television, for the first time ever, was doing something new, man.

We were top three in the Nielsen ratings.

It was "All In the Family," "Sanford and Son" and "Chico and the Man," and for the first time ever, they were tackling racial humor on prime-time television.

Oh, yeah.

You had Archie Bunker as the white prejudiced bigot in "All in the Family," Redd Foxx doing his thing in "Sanford and Son," and then there was me, Freddie Prinze... as Chico Rodriguez taking all the brunt from the white man, and suddenly I was it.

I was it, the Hispanic representation on television, the Latino face.

[ Laughter ] This was it.

I don't think I was ready for that kind of responsibility, you know?

But so be it!

I worked too hard for this, you know, and if we all gathered together, there is power in numbers, man.

I mean, this could be our moment to be seen, to be heard, to finally break through main popular culture.

I mean, if we Latinos gathered together, Latino power, right?

"The Latino community at large is angry and upset at the casting of Chico Rodriguez.

Who is this Freddie Prinze?

He's not a real Latino.

He's half Hungarian.

He's half Puerto Rican.

He's not a real -- why -- He's not even a Chicano.

Why can't a Chicano play a Chicano?"

So much for Latino power, por carajo, right?

We're back to the same bullshit, you know?

But here's what I am.

I'm an actor, and an actor's job is to portray any role given to him, right?

Didn't Marlon Brando play a Mexican revolutionary, Emiliano Zapata?

Natalie Wood, white, playing Puerto Rican Maria in "West Side Story."

Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra?

Charles Heston playing Moses, and you're mad at me for playing Chico?

At least I'm brown, turkey!

But where's what I am -- I'm funny and funny enough to get the job, so there you go, and what a job it was.

Oh, this was the job that changed my life forever, man.

Are you kidding?

I go from taking the A Train to Washington Heights and coming out of a limo in Beverly Hills, man.

I was in.

It was as if Hollywood had never seen anything like it.

"A young brown Hispanic comedic actor?

I've never seen such a thing.

Yes, yes.

Let him in!

Let him in!

Open the door!

Let him in, but close the door behind him.

Just one."

[ Chuckles ] "Oh, look.

Daddy, does he dance too?"

"Of course, just play some salsa.

Play some merengue and watch him move his ass."

Boom, bop, boom, boom, bop, ticka-boom, bop, boom, boom, bop.

I was in.

I was in.

I mean, this was it, man.

I got the couch with Johnny Carson.

I'm in a hit TV show.

I'm a fucking celebrity, man!

I got everything I want -- money, fame.

I should be happy, right?

And yet, something is off.

Something doesn't feel right... ...because these begin to pile, you know, by the thousands.

I'm talking hate mail.

People are angry, angry at me being Chico.

I start getting phone threats.

They start picketing NBC Studios in Burbank, California.

"Fire him.

He is not one of us.

Fire him."

They start threatening my life.

I'm serious.

I get phone calls.

What's that?

No, no.

I'm funny.

That's why I got the job.

That's a threat.

No, that's a -- You know, no, no, no, you're a chicken piece of shit because anybody can hide behind a phone and make a threat.

It takes a real man to get in front of an audience and pour out his soul day in and day out, and that's what I do.

I face the crowd.

You want to be a real man?

Why don't you tell that shit to my face, huh?

Come on!

You know where I work.

What's that?

Oh, you're here.

[ Whispering ] It's okay, shh.

Hello?

[ Normally ] It's okay.

It's all right.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's all right.

You know, when you get to the top, your arrival is not always welcome by everyone.

You know, people are going to get angry.

People are going to get upset.

Okay.

What am I supposed to do?

What?

What?

What?

What?

Apologize?

I'm supposed to apologize?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

I'm sorry.

For what?

What am I sorry for, huh?

You didn't give me this.

None of you gave me this.

Everything I have I had to work hard for.

Everything -- I've earned this shit, and now that gives you the right to threaten me, and what?

What am I -- What?

I'm supposed to hide and be afraid?

No.

No, I'm not hiding.

You're the one hiding behind a phone.

You hide.

You hide!

You hide!

I'm not hiding.

No.

No, I'm a Hollywood celebrity now, baby.

That's right.

I've earned this shit.

I'm going to go and party like the Hollywood celebrity that I am, baby.

That's right.

Oh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

[ Upbeat music playing ] ♪♪ Whoo!

♪♪ Yeah!

[ Indistinct ] We are in Hollywood!

Everybody knows each other.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Richard Pryor.

Oh, John Belushi.

♪♪ My brother from another mother, Tony Orlando!

Yeah!

Man, in Hollywood in the parties everything is good, man.

Yeah, and when you hear that laughter, that laughter is love, man.

♪♪ It's -- It's when the music stops, you know... [ Music stops ] ...and you're home alone.

You know, that's -- That's when you start feeling the void, the emptiness, you know?

That's when you start hearing the voices, you know?

"Freddie, Freddie, you know you have no friends, right?

Freddie, your friends are like your ratings.

Your ratings go up, you got friends.

Your ratings go down, no friends.

Freddie, Freddie, why are you working so hard?

At the end, they take it all.

Freddie, have you noticed you're not that funny?

Have you not noticed your show dropping in ratings?

Oh!

What does it mean?

You're losing your touch, huh?

Freddie, if you're not funny, you have no value.

All you're worth are your jokes, huh, and if your show ends tomorrow, then what are you going to do, huh?

This all could end tomorrow, and then what are you going to do, huh, huh, huh?

You going to home?

You going to go home to Mommy?

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because deep down inside all you are is a fucking high school dropout."

Shut up!

Just shut up.

[ Breathing heavily ] I could hear my Mom praying.

"Papi, is everything okay?"

Yeah, Mom.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm okay, Ma.

I just wanted to say that I love you.

Did you get the tickets I sent you?

VIP tickets to come see me in Vegas, Ma.

Yeah.

Is Pa coming?

He has to work?

Put him on the phone.

Put him on the phone.

Pa?

Pa, when are you going to believe me when I tell you it's my turn to take care of you guys, Pa?

I'm going to make so much money on this one.

I'm going to buy a house with a backyard and a swimming pool so Ma can plant her sofrito, her pla-- whatever she wants.

It's going to be great.

We're going to be together again, huh?

Not bad for a high school dropout, huh?

I love you too, Pa.

Put Ma on the phone.

Ma?

I love you, too.

I got to go.

What's that?

Ugh.

Okay.

Which one?

Okay, hold on.

"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work, we must help the weak, remembering the words of Lord Jesus Himself.

It is more blessed to give than to receive."

You're right, Ma.

That's how I try to live my life, you know?

And when I look at my boy, that's when it really makes sense to me because there's nothing I wouldn't give him.

I'd give him my life if I knew he'd be safe, you know.

I love my boy.

I love my wife.

Despite whatever you read here, I love my family.

I do, I do.

You'd never know it though, you know?

And here, Freddie Prinze having marital problems, you know... ...but here's what they won't tell you.

The first time I laid eyes on this beautiful woman, man, oh, my God.

I don't know if you believe in love at first sight, but that's exactly what this was, man.

I'm on vacation in Lake Tahoe, and I see this beautiful cocktail waitress, and I'm like [speaking in Spanish] I mean, she looked good, you know, and not just physical beauty, but there is this grounded in truth, you know, which is important because in Hollywood, everything is so full of shit.

It is.

Hollywood, everything is, "Yes.

Yes, Mr.

Prinze.

Whatever you want."

[ Smooching ] You know, but not her, man.

She is just the real deal, man, but I couldn't help it, and I approached her with my Hollywood shit.

I was like, "Hey.

You know who I am?

I'm Freddie Prinze."

And she was like, "I know who you are."

[ Scoffs ] Oh, my goodness.

I knew I found love.

Right away, we quickly moved in together.

I put a biscuit in the oven on the first try, and before the arrival of my boy, I married her, man.

I wasted no time.

When you want something in life, you got to go right after it.

You got to grab it, and that's what I did, you know, because that's what -- that's what life is.

When you want something, grab that shit.

Ain't nobody going to give you nothing in this life.

Are you kidding me?

Case in point, the birth of my child.

Doctors tell me there's complications.

There's a chance Kathy may lose the baby.

I'm like, "No.

No, Doc.

You know who I am?

I'm Freddie Prinze.

I'll buy this fucking hospital, but you make sure my boy lives," you know.

You know it's all bullshit, right?

Because when it comes to life and death, it doesn't matter who you are, how much money you got.

There's only one that can help you.

All I could do was get on my knees and say, "Father, please.

God, please, not my boy, not my boy.

Father, when I was a boy and I almost died, Mom prayed to You, and You kept me alive.

Now keep my boy alive, Father, please, please.

You heard her prayers.

Now hear my prayer.

You kept me alive.

Now keep my boy alive, Father, please, not my boy, please."

[ Sighs ] And God gave me grace.

God gave me mercy.

God gave me the greatest gift of all -- my boy.

So handsome, so perfect, looking at me with those big brown eyes as if to say, "Daddy, you'll never be lonely again."

I love my boy.

I love my wife.

Despite whatever you read in this shit, I love my family, you know.

I do, and right then, I turned to my wife.

I said, "Honey, I am done.

I am done with this Hollywood party bullshit.

I am done.

I am.

I'm done."

And when I'm done, I meant it.

I meant I was done with this shit.

I was done.

I wasn't done.

I was, in my mind and in my heart.

I meant it.

I meant that I was done, but my body was betraying me, you know.

That's when I realized, "Shit.

I need help" But where am I going, huh?

Rehab?

Rehab?

[ Scoffs ] Yeah.

Oh, that's the fuel they need, man.

"Freddie Prinze in rehab.

He couldn't handle the pressure.

He couldn't handle his married life, his career, his personal -- Get him out.

Get him out.

He's done," you know, and they're right.

That would be career suicide.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

I worked too hard for this shit, you know.

The stakes are too high now.

I got a wife.

I got a kid.

No, no, no.

You got to -- You got to look at this shit and say, "No.

I don't -- I'm -- You're not going to fucking ruin me.

No.

I don't fucking need it.

I don't need it.

I don't want it!

I don't need it!"

I need help.

So, my wife tells me to go see this hypnotherapist, right?

[ Scoffs ] Yeah.

Okay.

No, no, no.

No, no.

But it's my doctor, Dr.

Ablin, who's really helping me though.

This doctor, medical degrees up to his butt, looks at me and goes, "Freddie, you know you got a hole right here?"

I'm like, "Really, Doc?

It took you all those degrees to figure that out?

I got two holes."

Wah-wah.

He goes, "I'm serious, Freddie.

From snorting all that shit, you got a hole right here," and he tells me to take this MMPI, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality -- It's this test they give you to see if you have emotional disorder.

"Let me save you some time, Doc.

I do.

[ Laughter ] I'm a comic, for God sakes.

My career depends on it, you know."

So he gives me this test, and apparently here are the findings.

I am this angry, hostile piece of shit ready to punch walls, but I'm also lonely and misunderstood, but I'm hyperactive, ready to take on the world, but I don't trust anyone.

Of course, dude.

I'm in Hollywood.

What do you think?

You know, so he tells me to take a vacation.

"Oh, that's good, Doc.

A vacation, yeah, that's -- That's it.

You heard it.

That's it."

Not right now, no, no, no.

I got a movie coming out, "The Million Dollar Rip-Off."

Oh, that's going to change my career.

No more of that fucking funny business shit, but I'm talking real, serious dramatic acting.

You're going to see what I'm about, and also, I got a comedy tour I got to sell out.

I got a show dropping in ratings I got to save.

Oh, and Ron and I are working on my very own special that's going to go for a second record price that's going to save my marriage, and I also got my court date with that Jonas suing me for half a million, so a vacation?

Not right now.

For now, this is my vacation right here.

This is it.

It says, "Take two to three every 4 to 6 hours or as prescribed... by your doctor," prescribed.

[ Pills rattle ] You're the doc, Doc.

You specialize in making people feel better.

So do I. I make them laugh.

I make them feel better too, you know.

You and I, we're in the same biz, Doc.

Mm-hmm.

[ Exhales sharply ] But this helps.

This helps with the anger.

This helps with the bullshit, you know, but that's what we need, man.

As comics, we need the anger.

We need the bull -- Where do you think our material comes from?

That's what we need.

We -- Our job is to take the bullshit and the anger, and we process it -- [ Vocalizes ] -- and then we package it up nicely for your entertainment.

We're the processor of shit for your enjoyment.

You're welcome.

[ Applause ] All right.

Hello.

Give it up for, um... whoever the hell was just on.

[ Laughs ] I don't even know.

Why -- Why -- Why -- Why do we get married?

[ Man speaking indistinctly ] Men are arguably the worst danger to women, right?

That we -- We kill, rape, fight.

We don't even know how to wipe our ass that good.

We don't smell that good.

You, you know, do you?

And women are like this delicate flower.

They look good, feel good, smell good, you know, but when they open their mouth, "I need this.

You're not listening."

Shut up!

[ Laughter ] No, no.

No, no.

Marriage is a beautiful thing.

At least that's what they tell us in the fairy tales, right?

"And they lived happily ever after."

Sure.

That's because Snow White never had any kids.

She had seven dwarves.

That's different.

[ Laughter ] Nothing like kids to test your marriage, right?

You have different perspective, different views, different ways of doing things, you know.

Just for once, I wanted to see Prince Charming come home and be like, "Honey, I just got word the kids were sent across the pond.

We must go for them at once!"

And she goes, "No, honey.

It was me.

I sent them across the pond.

I had a headache.

I needed some alone time."

Bitch, the wicked witch is across the pond.

"Careful how you speak about my mother."

[ Laughter ] Aw, but Hollywood will never tell you that because Hollywood is full of shit.

Hollywood is full of shit.

Hollywood is just so fucking -- Okay.

I think we're done.

I think we are done.

Thank you.

Good night.

[ Breathing heavily ] Okay, we're done.

I hope you've been listening, and I hope you were writing all this shit down, and I hope you've been paying attention because they never stop.

Look.

Actually, they got this one right.

"Freddie Prinze arrested for erratic driving."

Okay, so this cop pulls me over and goes, "Hey, hey, hey!

You know you were weaving?"

Weaving?

I don't even know how to knit.

[ Laughter ] He doesn't find it funny, and he goes, "Hey!"

He pulls me in, fingerprints me and locks me up.

He goes, "How do you like that?"

I'm like, "It's not bad.

But with a little paint job, it could be just like the Waldorf Astoria," and I start dabbing the walls with my ink fingerprints.

Oh, he doesn't like it.

What are you getting upset about, huh?

You're a cop.

You arrested me.

I'm not mad at you.

I'm a comic.

I say funny shit!

That's my job.

But he's right.

Nothing funny about a brown guy getting arrested, you know.

A few corny jokes could mean life, you know, but life does give you perspective, man.

You know, because when you're behind bars, get this.

You know you only get one call?

And I'm thinking, "Shit.

Who am I calling?"

So I call Carol, my assistant, right?

But my wife picks up.

Ooh.

Ooh-hoo!

That was a good conversation, you know.

Let me show you.

"Kathy Prinze files for divorce."

That's all right.

No, I -- No.

I get it.

My fault, my fault.

Mea culpa.

That's right.

But we're going -- I'm going to make it up to her.

I'm going to buy her diamonds and flowers, and I'm going to put them in that big mansion with a live-in maid and a babysitter.

It's going to be great.

It's my money.

If I want to spend it that way, I spend it that way, so if that motherfucker want to sue me for half a million for my money, he's got another thing coming, telling me suing me for half a million.

Oh, we have our fight.

Your Honor, I understand there's a contract we have to abide by, but here's what you won't find in the contract, which is I was all alone!

Why is that so hard to understand?

Everybody had their representative except me, and I'm a -- I'm the youngest one and a hit!

Wasn't that enough?

Your Honor, I asked him to come out here with me.

I asked you to come out here with me.

He said -- You said no.

Why?

I needed you here for your guidance, your protection, your support, but you wouldn't do it.

You wouldn't do it.

Instead, you want to stay out there on the East Coast and cashing in on me in the West, and somehow that seems fair, Your Honor?

And then he wants to sue me for half a million?

Money that I use to feed my family?

He's taking food out of my family's mouth!

No, no, no, no, no.

Let me make this real clear to you.

Don't be confused by this Hollywood shit.

I'm from the streets of Washington Heights, so let me make this real clear.

I did this.

I'm the one with the jokes.

I'm the one with the monkey act.

You got jokes?

You got -- Go on.

Come on, come on.

Tell me a joke.

Come on!

Come on.

Make me laugh, huh?

You want my money, so you better make me laugh.

Come on!

Tell me a joke!

You ain't got shit, and now you want to come in here and steal it from me, huh, like a thief in the night?

What?

What's -- Who's that?

Is that -- Is that the motherfucker threatened me on the phone, huh?

Oh, you're here face-to-face, huh?

You're here?

Okay.

Let's do this shit.

Let's do it.

I got something for you.

Come on.

[ Gunshots fire ] [ Breathing heavily ] Ugh.

[ Sniffles ] It's -- [ Groaning ] [ Laughter ] Got you.

Got you.

Don't worry.

It's not my blood.

It's actually the blood of Bob Wall.

You guys know Bob Wall?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the karate master go-to man, Bob.

All the celebrities go with Bob.

Are you kidding me?

When you're in Hollywood and you want to kick ass, you go to Bob, so I did.

I said, "Bob, I want you to train me.

I want you to show me how to kick ass, you know."

He goes, "Oh, no, no, no.

I can't.

I'm busy.

Why don't you train with one of my students?"

I'm like, "Nigga, I want you.

[ Laughter ] I want you, and when I want something, I get it, brother."

So we keep at it.

He keeps training me, and I'm like, "Shit."

He says, "Just to make it fair, I'll train you with one hand behind my back."

I'm like, "Nigga, don't go easy on me.

I ain't going to go easy on you."

[ Laughter ] So we keep fighting, right, or rather getting my ass kicked, right?

And all of a sudden, he has the karate chop coming at me, and I go, "Whoa, whoa," and we keep fighting, and he's coming at me, and I see a karate chop, and I go, bap!

And I go, bap, bap, bap!

And I get him right here, boom, blood all over.

I quickly grab this towel, and I grab that blood, and I start getting the blood.

He goes, "What are you doing?"

I said, "I earned this blood.

I kicked your ass.

[ Laughter ] It's my black belt."

But my weapon of choice has always been comedy.

You know, a karate chop you can always see and go, bap, bap, but comedy, you can't block that.

Comedy is -- It makes you vulnerable.

It opens you up.

How can you fight me back when you're like this?

[ Laughter ] All you can do is love me because I take the most personal part of your body -- your soul.

That's the legacy my mom leaves behind, the power of comedy, man.

Comedy is medicine for your soul, man.

It heals you, and it makes you feel good.

It's -- It's how you survive, you know, and that's the gift my mom has given me, and all I've ever wanted to do is give it right back, but somehow I feel like I've lost my way.

[ Exhales sharply ] This is my reminder right here.

I'm on my way to the Chico set through Bowery Street, and I see this homeless guy right there going, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."

All I got is $2.

I go and I give it to him.

I keep going, but he goes, "Hey!

Hey!"

I'm like -- So I go back, and before I can say anything, he goes, "Here.

Take it."

I'm like, "No, it's just a --" "Take it!"

Here I am thinking I'm giving him something, and he's giving me much more in return -- hope.

So I get to the Chico set, and Isaac is there with his wife, Francine, and their baby, and I'm holding their baby, and all I can say is, "Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I miss my baby.

I miss my wife.

How did I fuck up so much?

I just want to go back home," you know?

But I can't.

"Kathy Prinze files for divorce, a restraining order."

[ Sighs ] That's my wife.

That's my kid.

Carol!

[ Laughs ] Oh, she's gone.

Everybody is gone.

You guys are leaving soon.

[ Laughter ] Everybody is gone except those bloodsucking hyenas.

They are never gone, always waiting at bay.

Waiting to smell weakness so they can come suck me dry.

You haven't had enough?

You want some more?!

At your own risk, you motherfuckers!

[ Muttering indistinctly ] Hello, David?

Dave, is that you?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to wake you, man.

I just need to ask you a very important question, David.

David, I can trust you, right?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, of course.

Well, yeah, that's because you've been there from the very beginning, David.

David, and you believed in me.

David, I did it just like you told me.

Everything I paid for with jokes.

Jokes pay for everything just like you taught me, David.

You taught me everything I know, but you forgot to teach me one thing.

You didn't tell me about the bloodsucking hyenas, huh?

They're very real.

Always waiting for you, waiting to suck you dry, you know.

It's kind of like when you go to Puerto Rico, right, and you drop a little piece of meat on the floor, and you see all those red ants sucking it dry.

I'm the piece of meat, David, and Jonas the biggest red ant sucking me dry.

You know he's getting 15 percent for the next 7 years?

Not if I can help it because I'm a fucking legend, that's why.

Oh, yeah.

I'm like Lenny Bruce, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean.

They go on to live on forever, man, and that's going to be me.

I'm going to go and live on forever, and then you're going to get to say you helped mold a legend, and then you'll be proud.

David?

Hello, Mom?

[ Speaking in Spanish ] Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

I just want to -- I just wanted to hear your voice.

That's all.

What's that?

No.

She -- She is gone.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ma, listen, listen.

I just want to say that you and Pa are the best parents a boy could ever ask for.

You know that?

No, I know.

Ma, it's okay.

I -- No, no, no.

It's okay.

Listen, I love you.

Well, I'll talk to you soon.

[ Muttering indistinctly ] My little boy, yes.

[ Indistinct muttering continues ] Feliz cumpleaños mi amor.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.

Did I wake up the baby?

Good.

Would you mind putting the phone over him?

I just want to hear him breathe.

I miss you guys so much.

I love you guys, so -- I know.

That's -- I know.

That's not why I was -- I know.

I just -- I wrote a little something that I wanted to sing to you.

Yeah?

Okay, listen.

[ Singing in Spanish ] [ Singing fades ] [ Gunshot fires ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪