NARRATOR: THIS PROGRAM IS DEDICATED TO THE URSULINE SISTERS WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES TO SERVING, EDUCATING AND MENTORING.

MY NAME IS MORGAN ATKINSON AND I'VE MADE DOCUMENTARIES MOST OF MY ADULT LIFE.

MOST OF THE DOCUMENTARIES I'VE MADE GROW OUT OF ONE SIMPLE QUESTION-WHY?

WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO?

WHY DO WE BELIEVE CERTAIN THINGS?

HOW DO THESE BELIEFS SHAPE OUR LIVES AND OUR COMMUNITY.

AND WHILE I'M ASKING WHY, YOU'VE GOT TO WONDER WHY IS THIS POOR MAN OUT IN THIS STORM?

I RECORDED THIS FOOTAGE IN 1987.

I NOTICED THIS GENTLEMAN CROSSING THE ROAD IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE AT THE SAME TIME ALMOST EVERY DAY.

IT SCARED ME AND FASCINATED ME SO WHENEVER I COULD I BEGAN RECORDING HIS PASSAGES.

OK, WHY DIDN'T I PUT THE CAMERA DOWN AND GIVE HIM A HAND?

FAIR QUESTION BUT I TOLD MYSELF HE SEEMED TO BE DOING JUST FINE ON HIS OWN.

1987 WAS THE SAME YEAR I BEGAN MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT A GROUP OF WOMEN CALLED THE URSULINE SISTERS OF LOUISVILLE.

WHY?

I WONDERED HOW THIS CONGREGATION OF WOMEN COULD SURVIVE IN THESE TIMES.

THIS WAS THE 1980'S AFTER ALL, A TIME WHEN WE WERE TOLD THAT GREED IS GOOD.

SO, WHY WOULD A MODERN WOMAN CHOOSE THIS LIFE?

IT JUST SEEMED SO CONTRARY TO WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

AS I STUDIED THIS GROUP OF WOMEN "WHY" CONTINUED TO BE MY MAIN QUESTION.

MARTHA BUSER: I ENTERED THE COMMUNITY WHEN I WAS 18, RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL.

I THINK I WOULD'VE ARTICULATED AT THAT TIME THAT I WANTED TO BE A SISTER BECAUSE I WAS VERY HAPPY AND FELT GIFTED AND BLESSED BY GOD AND THERE WAS A SENSE OF NEEDING TO REPAY GOD.

IT WAS KIND OF LIKE GETTING EVEN WITH GOD.

AS I HAVE GROWN OLDER MY IMAGE OF GOD HAS CHANGED.

GOD DOESN'T ASK ME TO PAY BACK.

GOD ASKS ME TO BE ONE WITH HIM.

NARRATOR: ONE WITH GOD?

WHAT COULD THAT MEAN?

OK, HERE IS THE FIRST CHALLENGE IN MAKING MY DOCUMENTARY IN THE 1980'S.

WHEN TALKING TO RELIGIOUS PEOPLE I FOUND THEY WOULD USE TERMS AND PHRASES I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND OR COULDN'T EVEN CONCEIVE OF.

THEN I WOULD WONDER, DO THEY UNDERSTAND IT OR ARE THEY JUST RECITING A PARTY LINE.

SKEPTICAL?

YES, YOU COULD CALL ME SKEPTICAL.

BUT THEN I BECAME FRIENDS WITH SISTER MARTHA BUSER.

AND YES, I KNOW ONE OF THE FIRST RULES IN DOCUMENTARIES IS "DON'T GET FRIENDLY WITH YOUR SUBJECTS OR YOU LOSE OBJECTIVITY".

THAT WAS ANOTHER CHALLENGE.

SISTER MARTHA WAS SUGGESTED AS SOMEONE WHO COULD EXPLAIN THE WHYS AND WHEREFORES OF URSULINE LIFE.

I KNEW VERY LITTLE SO WE TALKED A LOT, FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.

AS IT TURNED OUT THE STUDENTS SHE TAUGHT OFTEN HAD THE SAME SORT OF QUESTIONS THAT I DID.

MARTHA BUSER: FIRST QUESTION ALWAYS, "WHY DID YOU BECOME A SISTER?"

WELL, I LIKE TO STRING THEM ALONG.

I SAY, "BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND MY MOTHER AND I HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE."

THEY ALWAYS LAUGH AND THEN THEY DON'T KNOW IF I MEAN IT OR NOT.

"NO, NO THAT'S NOT IT.

I WAS IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY, AND HE JILTED ME, AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO."

WELL, THEY LAUGH AT THAT ONE TOO, BUT THAT'S A QUESTION THEY WANT TO KNOW.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?"

SO THEN I TRY TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

I COULD TALK ABOUT WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND PRACTICALLY ENGAGED, THE KIND OF LIFE I HAD, THE THINGS THAT I WAS INTERESTED IN.

SOMEWHERE ALONG IN MY EARLY CHILDHOOD I WANTED TO BE A SISTER.

NOW, THE ONLY SISTERS I KNEW WERE URSULINES.

I LIKED THEM VERY MUCH.

MY PARENTS BOTH OBJECTED TO MY ENTERING RELIGIOUS LIFE, MOTHER MORE VOCALLY AND MY FATHER MUCH MORE QUIETLY.

MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "I GIVE YOU ABOUT 6 MONTHS."

SHE REALLY DIDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS.

MY BROTHER, I REALLY DON'T REMEMBER HIM SAYING ANYTHING.

MY SISTER WAS VERY QUIETLY UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORTIVE.

MY FRIENDS ALL THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY, AND MY TEACHERS OF COURSE WERE DELIGHTED BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL URSULINES.

NARRATOR: URSULINE?

WHERE DOES URSULINE COME FROM?

SISTER MARTHA TOLD ME THAT IN THE 1500'S WHEN YOUR CONGREGATION WAS FOUNDED THERE WAS AN ANCIENT SAINT NAMED URSULA WHO WAS MUCH REVERED.

SHE WAS THOUGHT TO BE A BRITISH PRINCESS WHO LIVED IN THE 4TH CENTURY.

URSULA WAS MARTYRED ALONG WITH HER 10,000 COMPANIONS.

THEY WERE PROTECTING THEIR VIRGINITY FROM AN INVADING ARMY.

WHETHER THE STORY IS TACTUAL OR NOT, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT FOLLOWERS OF ST. URSULA SHOULD NOT EXPECT A LIFE OF EASE.

MARTHA BUSER: ONLY TIME I EVER SAW MY FATHER CRY.

IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR HIM THAT I WAS DOING THIS.

MOTHER CRIED A LOT, BUT MY FATHER DIDN'T.

I ENTERED A MONASTIC ORDER.

THAT MEANT THERE WAS A GREAT DEAL OF SILENCE THAT BEGAN WITH THE SOUND OF THE BELL IN THE EVENING AT 7:30 AND DIDN'T END UNTIL AFTER BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING.

IN SOME WAYS THAT'S TAKING THE CHAOS OF SOUND AND BRINGING IT INTO SILENCE AND ALLOWING THE TRANSCENDENT GOD TO PERMEATE THAT.

THAT'S THE THEOLOGY AND THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND THAT.

NOW, FOR SOMEONE ENTERING IN THE MID 20TH CENTURY THAT WAS DIFFICULT, BUT I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I ENTERED THE CONGREGATION, AND I KNEW THAT THAT WAS PART OF IT.

THAT FIRST YEAR WAS A TIME AWAY FROM SCHOOL AND WE SPENT OUR TIME LEARNING ABOUT PRAYER AND HOW TO BE AN URSULINE AND YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD BE PRETTY EASY, BUT IT WASN'T.

IT WAS BRAND NEW TO US.

WE WERE KIDS PRACTICALLY.

I WAS 18 WHEN I ENTERED.

NOW, IN THOSE DAYS WE DID NOT USE THE WORD CONVERSION OR TRANSFORMATION, BUT THOSE ARE THE WORDS I WOULD USE NOW, THAT WE WERE BEING TRANSFORMED, A DIFFERENT WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS.

AND THAT HAPPENED, THERE WAS A TRANSFORMATION.

THE VERY ACT OR CEREMONY OF ENTERING THAT CONGREGATION, THAT MONASTIC ORDER, DEMONSTRATES WHAT I'M SAYING.

WHEN WE RECEIVED THE HABIT OR ENTERED THE RELIGIOUS LIFE OFFICIALLY WITH THE BEGINNING OF THE NOVITIATE, WE HAD A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND VERY, VERY ANCIENT MONASTIC CEREMONY.

WE DRESSED AS BRIDES.

WORE WHITE WEDDING DRESSES AND LONG WHITE VEILS AND CARRIED A CANDLE WHICH WAS NOT BURNING UNTIL WE RECEIVED THE LIGHT FROM THE SUPERIOR DURING THE CEREMONY.

LATER ON IN THE CEREMONY WE WERE DISMISSED FROM THE CONGREGATION AND WE LEFT AND PUT ON THE HABIT AND CAME BACK INTO THE LITURGICAL SETTING THERE AS NEW WOMEN.

WE HAD ON NO LONGER THE WHITE WEDDING DRESS, BUT WE HAD ON THE BLACK HABIT AND WE RECEIVED WHITE VEILS WHICH WERE THE SIGN OF THE NOVICE.

AND WE RECEIVED A NEW NAME WHICH HAS BIBLICAL OVERTONES.

WE ARE A NEW PEOPLE NOW.

THERE IS A TRANSFORMATION THAT HAPPENED THERE.

THE WHOLE WEDDING DRESS AND THE WHOLE KIND OF NUPTIAL SCENE THAT GOES THERE HAS A VERY IMPORTANT MEANING WITHIN THE CHURCH.

SO, THERE IS A GREAT LEGITIMACY TO THAT SYMBOL.

THAT WAS A VERY DRAMATIC CEREMONY AND BROUGHT TEARS TO PEOPLE'S EYES AND PEOPLE WOULD COME TO THAT AND FIND IT VERY BEAUTIFUL AND VERY MOVING, PERHAPS NOT RECOGNIZING THAT IT REPRESENTED A VERY PARTICULAR WAY OF LOOKING AT LIFE, THAT I TAKE THE CHAOS AND BRING IT IN AND BRING ORDER TO IT AND IT IS HERE WITHIN THIS PARTICULAR SETTING THAT ONE BECOMES BRIDE OF CHRIST, ONE BECOMES IN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IN A PARTICULAR WAY.

AND SOMETIMES WE FORGOT THAT THIS WAS REPRESENTING THE CHURCH'S RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST AND IT BECAME VERY PERSONAL.

>> IT WAS EXCITING BECAUSE IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF BEING AN URSULINE.

THERE WAS LIFE THERE.

NARRATOR: FROM THE BEGINNING I TOLD SISTER MARTHA THAT I WOULD TRY TO BE UPFRONT WITH HER, SO I HAD TO CONFESS I NEVER KNEW NUNS DRANK COKES OR DANCED OR PLAYED TENNIS.

THEN I REMEMBER WHAT SHE OFTEN SAID TO ME OVER THE YEARS, IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME AND A DIFFERENT CHURCH AND SO MANY OF US WERE JUST KIDS.

KIDS MAKING A LIFE-CHANGING, LIFETIME COMMITMENT.

MARTHA BUSER: THE CHAPEL IS ALWAYS THE CENTER AS IT WAS THEN AND IS NOW.

OUR EUCHARISTIC LIFE WAS VERY IMPORTANT AND THE SCHEDULE WAS FIXED, AND WE ALWAYS DID THE SAME THING.

WE BEGAN WITH OFFICE IN THE MORNING WHICH LASTED ABOUT 20 MINUTES WHERE WE CHANTED.

AND THEN WE SPENT A HALF HOUR OR SO IN SILENT MEDITATION AND THEN WE HAD THE EUCHARIST.

AFTER THAT WE WENT TO BREAKFAST AND WENT ON WITH OUR DAILY WORK.

DURING MY DAYS AT THE MOTHER HOUSE OUR DAILY WORK WAS TO LEARN ABOUT RELIGIOUS LIFE.

WE WERE LEARNING TO BE URSULINE SISTERS.

>> GOOD URSULINES, WELL WE WERE TAUGHT A WAY TO WALK, A POSTURE, HAVE A PLEASANT FACE.

THE WAY WE ATE, IN SILENCE.

WHEN WE WERE NOT ACTUALLY EATING WITH OUR HANDS UNDER THE NAPKIN, ON OUR LAPS, WITH OUR EYES DOWN.

AGAIN, THAT WHOLE SENSE OF THE RECOLLECTION OF THE GREAT GOD WITHIN.

EVERYTHING WAS VERY CAREFULLY AND IN AN ORDERED FASHION EXPLAINED FOR US SO THAT WE ALWAYS KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WHEN.

WE EVEN KNEW HOW FAR BACK TO FOLD OUR SLEEVES AND HOW TO PIN THEM AND HOW LONG THE HABIT WAS TO BE.

ALL OF THAT WAS VERY CAREFULLY AND VERY LOVINGLY DETERMINED.

WE WERE CALLED TO DO CERTAIN THINGS IN A CERTAIN WAY AND IF WE DIDN'T DO THAT WE WANTED TO CORRECT THAT.

IN SOME WAYS IT SOUNDS BIZARRE BUT IT'S PART OF A WHOLE WAY OF LOOKING AT REALITY.

IT IS A WAY OF ORDERING REALITY.

I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HOW FAR BACK I AM TO FOLD MY SLEEVES.

THOSE DECISIONS ARE ALREADY MADE.

I CAN GIVE MY ATTENTION THEN TO SOMETHING THAT IS OF GREATER VALUE, THE HOLY GOD.

NARRATOR: IN SEARCHING FOR THE "WHYS" OF THIS WAY OF LIFE I DECIDED TO GO OUTSIDE OF LOUISVILLE TO TRY TO GAIN A MORE NATIONAL PERSPECTIVE.

JUST WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF A RELIGIOUS SISTER IN THE 1950S?

KENNETH BRIGGS: YOU WERE TO BE APART FROM SOCIETY.

YOU WERE TO OPERATE ACCORDING TO THE WISHES OF THE ORDAINED, SENT TO DO THE WORK THAT THEY WANTED YOU TO DO.

JOAN CHITTISTER: THE FACT IS THAT THE STATUS OF WOMEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MATTER OF FAITH.

IT HAS A RELIGIOUS FOUNDATION.

GIVEN THE INTERPRETATIONS OF THE ABRAHAMIC CREATION STORY THE SECOND-CLASS STATUS OF WOMEN THROUGHOUT THE AGES HAS ALWAYS BEEN CALLED GOD'S WILL.

WOMEN RELIGIOUS HAVE BUILT THE CHURCH FROM THE BOTTOM UP.

BUILT ITS COMMUNITIES.

BUILT ITS HOSPITALS.

BUILT ITS ORPHANAGES.

BUILT ITS CATHOLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

BRIGGS: I SAW THIS LARGE COHORT OF AMERICAN WOMEN WHO WERE NOT GIVEN A LOT OF ATTENTION EXCEPT AS STEREOTYPES.

WHO WERE THEY?

MARTHA BUSER: IN THE 19TH CENTURY WHEN THE SISTERS FIRST CAME HERE THEY HAD TWENTY DOLLARS.

NOW, TALK ABOUT GUTSY!

THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE GETTING INTO.

THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

THEY WERE NOT AWARE OF THE FACT THAT WE WERE IN THE MIDST OF A CIVIL WAR .

THEY WERE GERMAN AND GERMANS WERE NOT REALLY WELCOMED IN LOUISVILLE AT THAT TIME.

WE HAD JUST COME THROUGH THE PERIOD OF THE KNOW NOTHINGS.

WE HAD INTELLIGENT WOMEN WHO KNEW HOW TO HANDLE MONEY.

WHO KNEW HOW TO READ THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES.

JANET PETERWORTH: AND YOU KNOW YEARS AGO WHEN ALL THESE INSTITUTIONS WERE BEING BUILT THE SISTERS BUILT THEM WITH THEIR OWN MONEY AND MAYBE SOME DONATIONS, BUT THE SISTERS WHOSE SHOULDERS WE NOW STAND ON DID SOME PRETTY DARING AND MAGNIFICENT THINGS.

AND THOSE WERE THE THINGS THAT MET THE NEED!

AND SO, FOR YEARS MANY CONGREGATIONS MET THE SOCIAL NEED OF EDUCATION.

NARRATOR: THIS IS SR. JANET PETERWORTH.

SHE'S ANOTHER URSULINE SISTER I BECAME FRIENDS WITH.

AGAIN, SOMEWHAT TO MY SURPRISE.

THE SURPRISE STEMS FROM MY ORIGINAL IMPRESSION OR STEREOTYPE OF THESE WOMEN.

YOU SEE A LOT OF GUYS I GREW UP WITH HAD HAD URSULINES AS TEACHERS AND THE REVIEWS WEREN'T ALWAYS POSITIVE.

WORDS COME TO MIND LIKE STRICT• TOUGH•IF I'M GOING TO BE HONEST "MEAN" WAS EVEN SOMETIMES USED.

SO, I ASKED SISTER MARTHA, WHAT DID SHE THINK ABOUT HER NEW VOCATION?

MARTHA BUSER: WE WERE GOING TO BE TEACHERS AND YOU WERE GOING TO LIKE IT.

AND YOU WERE GOING TO BE GOOD AT IT BECAUSE YOU HAD VERY GOOD TEACHERS AND VERY GOOD EXAMPLE.

YOU LIVED WITH THEM.

WE HAD BEEN DINGED INTO OUR HEADS ANYTHING YOU'RE BEEN TOLD TO DO YOU CAN DO.

OHHH.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

SO HERE I WAS IN A PAROCHIAL SCHOOL.

OK, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT.

I HAD HAD SOME EDUCATION CLASSES.

I NEVER LEARNED ANYTHING IN EDUCATION CLASSES AT ALL EXCEPT ONE THING-"YOU NEVER LEARN ANYTHING UNLESS YOU'RE READY".

THAT'S VERY TRUE ALL THE WAY THROUGH YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE AND EVERYTHING.

PREPARATION IS EVERYTHING!

WELL, SO I FACED THIS GROUP OF FOURTH AND FIFTH GRADERS, BOYS AND GIRLS.

I HAD NEVER GONE TO SCHOOL WITH BOYS.

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT YOU DO WITH BOYS.

I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING.

SO, ONE OF THE SISTERS KIND OF TOOK ME UNDER HER WING AND SHE REALLY HELPED ME.

AH, WHAT A RELIEF.

NOW I COULD CONCENTRATE ON LEARNING HOW TO TEACH.

I DON'T MIND PLAYING WITH THESE KIDS, BUT I AM NOT MADE TO BE A DISCIPLINARIAN.

AND MY FIRST YEAR TEACHING, I HATED IT.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

THAT'S WHEN I ALMOST LEFT.

SO, WE ALL HAD SUPERVISORS.

WHO COMES TO BE MY SUPERVISOR BUT ONE OF THE SISTERS I DEARLY LOVED.

SHE HAD TAUGHT ME WHEN I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL.

SHE GAVE ME A CHOICE.

SHE SAID "WOULD YOU LIKE TO TEACH IN FRONT OF ME OR DO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH THE CLASS AND YOU OBSERVE ME?"

I SAID, "OH YOU TEACH IT."

SO, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TEACH FOR HER.

SHE WENT THROUGH MY FILES AND SHE SAID "YOU'RE A BORN TEACHER."

AND I THOUGHT "NEWS TO ME!"

BUT SHE WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE AND VERY ENCOURAGING, SO I DIDN'T LEAVE.

SHE KEPT SAYING "THE NEXT YEAR WILL BE BETTER".

AND IT WAS.

I REALLY DID LOVE THE CHILDREN.

I HAD 4TH AND 5TH GRADE AND YOU KNOW I STILL HEAR FROM SOME OF THOSE WOMEN AND THE BOYS AS WELL.

NARRATOR: GETTING TO KNOW MARTHA AND SOME OF THE OTHER SISTERS GOT ME BEYOND THE "MEAN NUN" STEREOTYPE WHICH CAUSED SOME OF THOSE OLD FRIENDS OF MINE TO JUST SHAKE THEIR HEADS.

BUT STILL I WONDERED, ASIDE FROM LEARNING HOW TO HANDLE OVERCROWDED CLASSROOMS AND UNRULY KIDS, WHAT WERE SHE GETTING FROM THE LIFE SHE HAD CHOSEN?

WAS IT ALL SHE HOPED IT WOULD BE?

LEARNING SHE HAD ONCE CONSIDERED LEAVING REALLY SURPRISED ME.

SEE ANOTHER STEREOTYPE I HAD WAS THAT RELIGIOUS VOWS WERE FOREVER.

NOW MARTHA WAS SAYING THERE WERE TIMES OF DOUBT.

MARTHA BUSER: I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MADE ME VERY HAPPY AS A YOUNG RELIGIOUS WAS BELONGING TO THE ORDER.

A SENSE OF BELONGING WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND A LOT OF THAT WAS WRAPPED AROUND WITH A YOUTHFUL IDEALIZATION WHICH HAD TO BREAK AWAY AS TIME WENT ON.

BUT, THERE WAS A GREAT JOY IN BELONGING TO ALL THAT I BELONGED TO.

KENNETH BRIGGS: CATHOLICS WERE USED TO BELIEVING THAT THINGS WERE SET IN STONE.

NEWSREEL NARRATOR: THE VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL, THE GREATEST ASSEMBLY OF ROMAN CATHOLIC PRELATES IN HISTORY, THIS IS THE FIRST ECUMENICAL COUNCIL IN 92 YEARS AND ONLY THE SECOND IN 400 YEARS.

IT IS SOLEMNLY OPENED AS POPE JOHN THE 23RD IS CARRIED INTO ST. PETER'S ON HIS PORTABLE THRONE.

10,000 CHURCHMEN TAKE PART IN THE OPENING CEREMONIES OF THE COUNCIL WHICH IS EXPECTED TO LAST FOR MANY MONTHS.

THE MEDIEVAL POMP AND PAGEANTRY IS CAPTURED BY NEWSREEL CAMERAS TO BE FLASHED AROUND THE WORLD BY TELSTAR.

THE COUNCIL'S IMMEDIATE AIM IS TO MAKE CHURCH LAWS MORE COMPATIBLE WITH MODERN TIMES AND TO WORK TOWARD A LONG-RANGE PLAN OF CHRISTIAN UNITY.

IN A STIRRING DISPLAY OF EARTHLY GRANDEUR AND SPIRITUAL DEDICATION THE VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL BEGINS ITS HISTORIC WORK.

KENNETH BRIGGS: THE BASIC THEME OF THE SECOND VATICAN COUNCIL WAS THE PEOPLE OF GOD, THE CHURCH WAS THE PEOPLE OF GOD AND BEFORE THAT THE BASIC DEFINITION WAS THE CHURCH IS THE HIERARCHY, AND IT ALL FOLLOWS FROM THAT.

NOW YOU HAD THIS LEVELING INFLUENCE THAT PUT EVERYBODY ON THE SAME SPIRITUAL LEVEL.

SO, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR POSITION IS WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

MARTHA BUSER: I THINK FOR A LONG-TIME RELIGIOUS LIFE WAS LOOKED AT AS A HIGHER FORM OF LIFE.

WHICH THEN WOULD IMMEDIATELY MAKE SOME CLASSIFICATIONS.

IF RELIGIOUS LIFE WAS HIGHER THEN WHAT WAS NOT RELIGIOUS LIFE WAS LOWER.

WHEN VATICAN 2 ERASED THOSE DISTINCTIONS AND WHEN EXPERIENCE ERASED THOSE DISTINCTIONS, I THINK THAT OPENED WHOLE NEW VISTAS FOR PEOPLE.

KENNETH BRIGGS: WITH SO MANY OF THESE CHANGES AT THE CROSSROADS OF VATICAN 2 THERE WAS THE WHOLE CULTURAL INFLUENCE THAT WANTED TO PRESERVE THINGS THAT MEANT SOMETHING TO PEOPLE, FOR REASONS THAT WERE GOOD OR BAD, WHATEVER, AND THOSE WHO REALLY WERE EXCITED AND READY TO MOVE ON• HOLY HOLY SUNG MARTHA BUSER: VATICAN 2 WASN'T THE ONLY EVENT IN THE '60'S.

ALL KIND OF REVOLUTIONS WERE HAPPENING AND I'M SURE THEY ALL KIND OF CAME TOGETHER AND CAUSED WOMEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RELIGIOUS WOMEN RIGHT NOW, CAUSED THESE RELIGIOUS WOMEN TO RETHINK OUT OF A NEW KIND OF WORLDVIEW.

KENNETH BRIGGS: AND TO SEE NUNS AS HUMAN BEINGS WAS, I THINK, A GREAT BLESSING OF THE 2ND VATICAN COUNCIL AND THEIR BEING OUT THERE IN THE WORLD TO BE PROTESTORS, TO BE CREATORS OF SOCIAL CAUSES AND ALL THAT WAS AS A RESULT OF VATICAN 2, THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.

NARRATOR: CAN WE AGREE THAT BEING SEEN AS ACTUALLY HUMAN SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY LOW BAR TO CLEAR, BUT I GUESS IT COULD BE CALLED A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

I WOULD ALSO THINK THAT BEING MORE ENGAGED SOCIALLY WAS LIBERATING.

BUT MARTHA TOLD ME THESE CHANGES CAME WITH A PRICE.

THE MORE ACTIVIST SISTERS ACROSS THE U.S.

WERE CRITICIZED BY SOME.

ALSO, THE SECURITY AND THE MYSTIQUE OF THE CLOISTER WAS DIMINISHED.

WITH THIS CHANGE THE PERCEPTION OF WHAT THE RELIGIOUS LIFE MEANT WAS ALTERED.

NO LONGER PORTRAYED AS A HIGHER CALLING THE RELIGIOUS LIFE WAS NOW SEEN AS ONE OPTION FOR A WORTHY LIFE AMONG MANY.

THIS NEW UNDERSTANDING WAS WELCOME AND MOST WOULD SAY HEALTHY, BUT IT HAD AN IMPACT ON THE NUMBER OF YOUNG WOMEN WILLING TO COMMIT TO THE SACRIFICES AND CHALLENGES OF A RELIGIOUS VOCATION.

NARRATOR: THE CHURCH FATHERS AT VATICAN 2 WERE LOOKING FOR CHANGES TO ENERGIZE CONGREGATIONS AS MANY WERE SHRINKING AND NOT ATTRACTING NEW MEMBERS.

THEY DECREED THAT CONGREGATIONS SHOULD EMBRACE THEIR ORIGINS.

IN OTHER WORDS, STUDY THE INDIVIDUAL THAT FORMED EACH CONGREGATION AND RETURN TO THE ESSENCE OF THEIR TEACHINGS.

IN THE CASE OF THE URSULINES THIS PERSON WAS ST. ANGELA MERICI.

MARTHA TOLD ME THAT LEARNING MORE ABOUT ST. ANGELA CHANGED HER LIFE.

SUDDENLY A MARBLE STATUE CAME TO LIFE AS A CHARISMATIC WOMAN WHOSE APPROACH TO THE SPIRITUAL LIFE WAS SEEN AS REVOLUTIONARY.

MARTH BUSER: IN THE LATE 60'S, EARLY 70'S, NEW INFORMATION ABOUT ANGELA MERICI WAS BEING UNCOVERED AND THAT'S WHEN I MET ANGELA AT A MUCH DEEPER LEVEL.

WHEN I ENTERED THE COMMUNITY, WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER TO SPEAK OF AND THE HAGIOGRAPHERS AT THE TIME KIND OF PAINTED ALL HOLY WOMEN TOGETHER.

THEY WERE ALL BEAUTIFUL, THEY ALL SLEPT ON ROCKS AND THEY WEREN'T VERY REAL.

WELL, NOW WE WERE BEGINNING TO FIND INFORMATION THAT SHOWED US WHO THESE WOMEN REALLY WERE.

DURING THE RENAISSANCE TIME THERE WERE MANY, MANY PEOPLE IN NEED OF SERVICE.

PEOPLE WERE DYING OF VARIOUS PLAGUES.

THERE WERE TERRIBLE WARS GOING ON WHERE THE SOLDIERS CAMPED, AND THE CAMP FOLLOWERS WERE THERE.

THERE WERE OUTBREAKS OF SYPHILIS AND CHILDREN WERE LEFT WITHOUT PARENTS AND JUST A LOT OF PAINFUL THINGS.

AND IN NORTHERN ITALY THERE WERE FOLKS WHO WERE TRYING TO HELP.

AND AMONG THEM WAS ANGELA MERICI.

AND SHE SERVED THE NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE.

SO, SHE TOOK CARE OF ORPHANS.

SHE TAUGHT CHILDREN.

SHE HELPED TO NURSE VICTIMS OF SYPHILIS AND SHE WAS IN GENERAL A VERY HOLY PERSON, A PERSON WHO LOVED GOD VERY, VERY MUCH AND WHOSE LOVE FOR GOD OPENED HER TO SERVING HER NEIGHBOR IN A VERY OPEN WAY AND A VERY EXCITING WAY AND A VERY ATTRACTIVE WAY SO THAT WOMEN WERE ATTRACTED TO HER AND BEGAN TO SAY TO HER "WE WANT TO BE WITH YOU".

SO, SHE FORMED WHAT SHE CALLED A COMPANY.

SHE NEVER INTENDED FOR IT TO BE A RELIGIOUS CONGREGATION.

SHE SIMPLY GATHERED THESE WOMEN TOGETHER AND SHE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO LOVE GOD IN A WAY THAT FREED THEM TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE.

NARRATOR: OK, I THINK I GET IT.

I SEE WHY THIS IS INSPIRING, BUT IT'S STILL UNCLEAR TO ME.

I HEAR ANGELA DESCRIBED AS A REVOLUTIONARY BECAUSE SHE TAUGHT PEOPLE TO LOVE GOD IN A WAY THAT FREED THEM TO LOVE OTHERS.

WHY WEREN'T THEY FREE BEFORE?

WHAT DOES THIS FREEDOM LOOK LIKE OR EVEN MEAN?

LOOKING FOR SOME CLARITY I TURNED TO AN EXPERT ON SAINTS.

ROBERT ELLSBERG HAS WRITTEN EXTENSIVELY ON THE ATTRIBUTES OF GREAT SAINTS, FROM THE PAST AND FROM THE MODERN DAY.

ROBERT ELLSBERG: WELL, THE IDEA OF SAINTS GOES BACK TO THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE CHURCH WHEN THE POINT OF CHRISTIANITY WAS NOT JUST TO WORSHIP JESUS, BUT TO TRY TO IMITATE HIM, AND TO LIVE LIKE HIM.

SO OFTEN, ESPECIALLY IN THE CASE OF MANY WOMEN, FEELING THAT THE OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO THEM AT THE TIME, THE CHOICES THAT WERE AVAILABLE, DIDN'T SEEM TO CORRESPOND TO THE HUNGER THAT THEY FELT FOR SOMETHING MORE, FOR SOMETHING MORE MEANINGFUL, FOR SOMETHING DEEPER AND THAT THEY HAD TO INVENT OFTEN THEIR OWN WAY.

SOME OF THE GREAT SAINTS THAT WE REVERE AND REMEMBER ARE THOSE INVENTORS.

THEY WERE NOT IMITATORS.

THEY WERE PEOPLE WHO INVENTED A NEW WAY.

ONE OF THE STORIES, OR MOTTOES, THAT I'VE HEARD ASCRIBED TO ST. ANGELA, A WOMAN PRESENTED WITH TWO CHOICES, SHE CHOSE THE THIRD.

NARRATOR: SO, ANGELA'S THIRD WAY WAS THAT SHE AND HER FOLLOWERS WOULD WORSHIP GOD IN THE TRADITIONAL MANNER, BUT WOULD NOT BE DRESSED IN TRADITIONAL RELIGIOUS CLOTHES AND WOULD NOT BE TUCKED AWAY IN A SECURE MONASTERY.

RATHER THEY WOULD LIVE INDEPENDENTLY AND DO THEIR GOOD WORKS AS THE SPIRIT MOVED THEM.

FOR THE 16TH CENTURY THIS WAS FREEDOM AND IT WAS REVOLUTIONARY.

THE URSULINES FLOURISHED IN THIS NEW WAY.

THEN THE CHURCH FATHERS MADE SOME CHANGES.

MARTHA BUSER: THE COUNCIL OF TRENT BEGAN A REFORM THAT WAS BADLY NEEDED IN THE CHURCH.

WITHIN THAT REFORM CAME THE DECISION THAT WOMEN WHO WERE LIVING TOGETHER IN COMMUNITY WOULD HAVE TO ACCEPT ENCLOSURE.

AND IN 1612 THEY RECEIVED A PAPAL DOCUMENT WHICH ENCLOSED THEM, MADE THEM A MONASTERY.

NOW THAT WASN'T THEIR IDEA BUT THAT WAS KIND OF PLACED UPON THEM BY THE WAY THE CHURCH WORKED AT THAT TIME WHICH CLOSED THEM OFF FROM THE WORLD AS IT WERE AND WRAPPED THEIR LIVES AROUND BY ALL OF THE STRUCTURES THAT HAD BEEN PART OF MONASTICISM.

NARRATOR: IN HER CAREFUL, DIPLOMATIC WAY MARTHA WAS TELLING ME THE POWERS THAT BE IN THE CHURCH TOLD THE URSULINES TO "GET THEE TO A NUNNERY".

AND IN DOING SO THE URSULINE WAY OF LIFE AS ENVISIONED BY ANGELA WAS CHANGED SIGNIFICANTLY.

IT ALMOST MEANT THE CHURCH HIERARCHY WOULD DECIDE THE DIRECTION OF THE URSULINES FROM THAT POINT FORWARD.

NOW, FLASH FORWARD SOME 350 YEARS AND THOSE CHURCH FATHERS WERE SAYING "LET'S RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL PLAN".

I KNOW THAT ANGELA'S VISION HAD A MAJOR IMPACT ON MARTHA.

SHE BECAME AN AUTHORITY, WRITING ARTICLES, BOOKS AND GIVING MANY TALKS ON THE MESSAGE OF THIS WOMAN FROM A VERY DIFFERENT TIME.

RETURNING TO ONE OF MY FIRST QUESTIONS- DID SHE REALLY THINK THAT ANGELA'S MESSAGE COULD SPEAK TO WOMEN IN OUR TIME?

MARTHA BUSER: IS OUR WAY OF LIFE OUTMODED?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT A LOT.

NO, I DON'T THINK IT IS.

JOAN CHITTISTER: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE WOMEN WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE SPIRITUAL LIFE, WHO ARE FOLLOWING THIS 2000-YEAR PATTERN OF COMMITMENT, OF TOTAL SELF-GIVING.

KENNETH BRIGGS: THINGS WERE CHANGING FOR SISTERS IN THE '50'S AND 60'S BECAUSE AMONG OTHER THINGS THEY WERE AMERICAN WOMEN WHOSE ASPIRATIONAL LEVELS WERE RISING IN AMERICAN CULTURE.

THE WHOLE IDEA OF VOCATION FOR WOMEN WAS CHANGING, WAS CHANGING IN SECULAR LIFE AS WELL AS IN RELIGIOUS LIFE.

NARRATOR: WHEN MARTHA ENTERED THE LOUISVILLE URSULINE COMMUNITY IN 1949 THERE WERE ALMOST 600 MEMBERS.

BY THE LATE 1960'S THE CONGREGATION WAS SIGNIFICANTLY LESS.

MANY OTHER CONGREGATIONS THROUGHOUT THE US AND EUROPE WERE EXPERIENCING LOSSES.

I ASKED MARTHA WHY DID SHE STAY?

MARTHA BUSER: AROUND THE MID-60'S, WHEN PEOPLE BEGAN TO LEAVE THE CONGREGATION I WASN'T 40 YET, I WAS IN MY MID 30'S AND A NUMBER OF MY VERY CLOSE FRIENDS LEFT.

OBVIOUSLY, THINGS WERE CHANGING IN THE CHURCH AND IN THE WORLD.

AND AS I SAW PEOPLE LEAVING I THOUGHT "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO DO HERE?

DO I WANT TO STAY WITH THIS GROUP OF WOMEN WHEN THE FUTURE SEEMS SO VERY UNSURE?"

OR, PERHAPS I WANTED TO LEAVE ALSO.

THE GIRLS I TAUGHT USED TO SAY TO ME, "IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY THE OLD ONES ARE GOING TO BE LEFT.

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE?"

ONE OF THE REASONS I STAYED WAS A SENSE OF FIDELITY TO THEM.

MANY OF THE PEOPLE WHOSE FRIENDSHIP I VALUED WERE ALSO STAYING.

WE WERE YOUNG ENOUGH THAT WE COULD SEE THAT IF WE STAYED WE COULD END UP BEING BY OURSELVES.

AND AS WE BEGAN SAYING YES TO ANOTHER I EXPERIENCED A CLOSENESS WITH MANY OF THE WOMEN IN OUR CONGREGATION THAT I HAD NEVER FELT BEFORE.

I WOULD'VE SAID IN THE MID-60'S AS I WOULD SAY NOW, "I HAVE FOUND LIFE IN THIS WAY OF LIFE".

I KNOW THE WOMEN WHO LEFT, LEFT WITH CONSIDERATION.

THEY DIDN'T JUST JUMP RIGHT OUT OF THIS LIFESTYLE.

UMMM, I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO SAY THIS.

I OFTEN FELT DESERTED.

WHO IS GOING TO HELP ME DO WHAT I'M DOING.

SOMETIMES I FELT FOOLISH, LIKE WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW?

WE HAD THIS SAYING, THE GOOD DIE YOUNG, AND THE SMART LEAVE AND HERE WE ARE.

AND WE LAUGHED ABOUT THAT BUT THERE WOULD BE OFTEN A KIND OF HESITATION WITHIN, AKIN TO ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT AND CONFUSION THAT CAME AROUND THAT LEAVING.

NARRATOR: WHILE MANY SISTERS CHOSE TO LEAVE, THE CONGREGATION WAS ALSO CONFRONTING THE REALITY OF TIME.

AMONG THE URSULINES WHO WERE STILL ACTIVE THE MAJORITY CONTINUED AS TEACHERS.

OTHERS EXPANDED THEIR MINISTRIES TO INCLUDE NEW AREAS.

MARTHA'S NEW PATH WAS AS A SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR OR COUNSELOR.

SHE WAS ALSO CHOSEN AS THE PRIMARY TEACHER FOR THE MEN ENTERING THE ALL-MALE DIACONATE IN THE ARCHDIOCESE OF LOUISVILLE.

CHANGE COULD BE FOUND EVERYWHERE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

WELL, ALMOST EVERYWHERE.

KENNETH BRIGGS: MOST PEOPLE I FOUND HAD PUT SISTERS IN A BOX AND SOME OF THEM HAVE BURIED THE BOX OR PUT IT IN THEIR PAST, IN THE RECESSES OF THEIR MIND.

JOAN CHITTISTER: NO RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES WILL COME BACK IN THE FORM OF THE 19TH CENTURY.

THAT'S OVER.

IT'S ALREADY EVOLVED.

THAT'S LONG GONE.

YOU CAN CALL THIS THE DEATH OF RELIGIOUS LIFE OR YOU CAN CALL IT ITS EVOLUTION, ITS TRANSITION, ITS BRIDGE TO A NEW WORLD.

IT'S PART OF THE DNA.

IT'S GOING TO BE THERE, BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE IT DID IN 1950.

NARR: THOUGH THE CONGREGATION WAS SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED IN NUMBER SOME WOMEN WERE STILL ATTRACTED TO THE LIFE AND THE CHANGES INSTITUTED BY THE SECOND VATICAN COUNCIL.

SR. AGNES COVENEY WAS ONE OF THEM.

AGNES COVENEY: AND THIS IDEA OF SHARING MY LIFE WITH OTHER WOMEN, LIVING WITH OTHER WOMEN, LIVING IN COMMUNITY IS SOMETHING THAT REALLY APPEALED TO ME TOO.

ALL OF US WITH THE SAME GOAL, SHARING OUR LIVES TOGETHER.

IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

THE SISTERS ARE VERY GOOD AT TELLING ME STORIES AT SUPPER TIME ABOUT THE WAY IT USED TO BE.

THEY TELL ME ABOUT THE RULES AND THE REGULATIONS AND MOST OF THE TIME THEY COME OUT AS THE BAD OLD DAYS.

THEY DID NOT ENJOY THE FACT THEY HAD SO MANY RULES TO FOLLOW, SO MUCH RIGIDITY IN THEIR LIFE.

NARRATOR: I KNOW THAT FOR SOME THAT RIGIDITY WAS EPITOMIZED BY THE HABIT, OR THE CLOTHES THE SISTERS WORE.

VATICAN 2 REFORMS RECONSIDERED WHAT MADE FOR APPROPRIATE ATTIRE FOR WOMEN RELIGIOUS.

KENNETH BRIGGS: THERE WAS NOTHING SACRED ABOUT THE HABIT.

THERE WASN'T A STANDARD HABIT.

THERE WERE ALL KINDS OF HABITS.

IT WAS A COMFORTABLE IDENTIFICATION FOR A LOT OF WOMEN WHO HAD GONE INTO THE CONVENT BECAUSE THEY WANTED SOMETHING DISTINCTIVE.

THEY WANTED TO MAKE THAT COMMITMENT AND IT CERTIFIED THAT.

CLOTHING IS ALWAYS ADAPTED TO THE PARTICULAR CHARACTERISTICS OF AN AGE AND THAT WAS TRUE FOR NUNS TOO.

MORE OF THE FOCUS AMONG COMMUNITIES WAS BEING OUT IN THE WORLD DOING THINGS THAT THEY HAD NOT DONE BEFORE.

MARTHA BUSER: OK, THE HABIT WAS AN OUTWARD SIGN FOR US, BUT CERTAINLY FOR THE LAY CATHOLICS BUT PROBABLY FOR PEOPLE IN GENERAL.

BUT I REMEMBER AS A POSTULANT BEING TOLD REPEATEDLY "THE HABIT DOES NOT MAKE THE NUN".

I WAS THE SAME PERSON WHEN I TOOK IT OFF.

KENNETH BRIGGS: I THINK FOR A HUMAN POINT OF VIEW IT WAS A LOSS.

PEOPLE WEREN'T LOOKING UP TO YOU MAYBE IN THE SAME WAY.

MARTHA BUSER: I FACED THAT.

I WORE A HABIT FOR 20 YEARS AND I KNOW THE RESPECT THAT CAME TO ME BECAUSE I WAS EASILY RECOGNIZED.

KENNETH BRIGGS: AND A LOT OF COMMUNITIES MADE IT POSSIBLE, BOTH IF YOU WANTED TO STAY IN THE HABIT, FINE.

OTHER PEOPLE COULD DO AS THEY WISHED.

MARTHA BUSER: THE FIRST TIME MY FATHER SAW ME WITHOUT THE FULL HABIT ON HE SAID, "I'VE LOST MY LITTLE NUN."

I HAD TO LAUGH WHEN I HEARD HIM SAY THAT BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD EVER, EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

AGNES COVENEY: I WAS GLAD I WAS BORN WHEN I WAS BORN AND OUR COMMUNITY WAS NOT IN THE HABIT BECAUSE I THINK THE HABIT WOULD'VE REALLY SET ME APART AND I WOULD'VE ENJOYED IT.

I THINK I WOULD'VE BEEN TEMPTED TO ENJOY THAT DISTINCTION AND THAT PUTTING ME ON A PEDESTAL KIND OF THING.

AND I'M GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE A HABIT TO SET ME APART AND THAT PEOPLE SEE ME FOR WHO I AM.

NARRATOR: MY FIRST DOCUMENTARY ON THE URSULINES WAS BROADCAST IN 1988• AND YES WHEN POSSIBLE I CONTINUED TO RECORD THIS DAILY EVENT HAPPENING OUTSIDE MY OFFICE.

WHY?

I'M NOT SURE, BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MAN'S WILLINGNESS TO STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN THAT TOUCHED ME.

EVEN THOUGH THE DOCUMENTARY WAS FINISHED I REMAINED CONNECTED WITH THE CONGREGATION THROUGH A GROWING FRIENDSHIP WITH MARTHA.

PART OF THAT FRIENDSHIP CAME FROM MY REALIZING WE HAD MORE IN COMMON THAT I HAD THOUGHT.

THOUGH WE WERE LIVING OUR LIVES VERY DIFFERENTLY WE HAD THE SAME GOAL-- WE WERE LOOKING FOR MEANING.

SHE HAD FOUND IT, ALONG WITH PEACE AND WISDOM.

I ADMIRED THAT SO AFTER MUCH HEMMING AND HAWING I ASKED HER TO BECOME MY SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR.

JUST SAYING THOSE WORDS CAN STILL MAKE ME FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS, MAINLY BECAUSE I WASN'T TOO SURE WHAT ALL IT IMPLIED AND BESIDES HAVING A PERSONAL SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR SEEMED LIKE A COMMITMENT.

NOT ALWAYS MY STRONG SUIT.

NEVERTHELESS, I TOLD MYSELF THAT OUR TIME TOGETHER WAS USEFUL.

I WAS STILL TRYING GET A BETTER SENSE OF THE "WHY" OF HER LIFE AS A RELIGIOUS SISTER AND JUST MAYBE I'D LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT MY OWN "WHYS".

MARTHA BUSER: I'VE BEEN A SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR NOW FOR 40 YEARS.

PEOPLE CALL ME AND ASK ME IF I WILL BE THEIR SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR AND I ALWAYS SAY "WE'LL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT THIS MEANS SO THAT YOU UNDERSTAND I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO."

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE WOULD REALLY LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW, TELL ME HOW TO PRAY.

WHEN TO PRAY, HOW TO PRAY, WHATEVER.

I LOVE IT.

IT'S THE HOLIEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.

AM I WORTHY TO DO IT?

HARDLY!

THAT'S NOT A QUESTION.

THE QUESTION IS, HOW CAN I BE A BETTER LISTENER AND STAY OUT OF THE WAY?

THERE ARE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN SPIRITUAL DIRECTION AND PSYCHOLOGY, BUT YOU'RE GOING AT IT IN TWO DIFFERENT WAYS, TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS ALL TOGETHER.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST, PSYCHIATRIST IS WORKING ON A PROBLEM, SOMETHING TO BE HEALED.

A SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR IS LOOKING FOR GROWTH.

HOW IS THIS PERSON GROWING IN THE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?

SO, IT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

ONE ISSUE IS OFTEN ANGER.

ONE ISSUE IS OFTEN SEX.

BUT THE ONE THAT I FIND TO BE TRUE ALMOST ALWAYS IS THE NEED TO CONTROL.

THAT'S A STUMBLING BLOCK FOR ALL OF US.

I SAY TO PEOPLE, "JESUS WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY WANTED TO BE HUMAN.

THE REST OF US WANT TO BE GOD.

WE WANT TO BE IN CONTROL."

IT'S SCARY NOT TO BE IN CONTROL.

NARRATOR: YEAH, NO QUESTION WE ALL WANT CONTROL.

SO I WAS SURPRISED WHEN THE URSULINES OFFERED CONTROL OF YOUR VALUABLE CAMPUS PROPERTY TO THE LAY PEOPLE WHO WERE OPERATING THE SCHOOLS THERE, SCHOOLS WHICH IN MANY WAYS HAD BEEN SO MUCH A PART OF THE URSULINE IDENTITY.

THIS INCLUDED THE MOTHERHOUSE, LONG THE FOCAL POINT OF URSULINE LIFE.

IT WAS PART OF A DIVESTMENT STRATEGY THE URSULINE LEADERS HAD PUT IN PLACE YEARS BEFORE.

THERE WAS LOGIC AND FINANCIAL SENSE THAT CAME WITH THESE MOVES, BUT STILL THIS CONCESSION TO A CERTAIN FINALITY HAD TO BE DIFFICULT.

JANET PETERWORTH: SOME PEOPLE SAID, WELL, ARE WE EVER GOING TO GET A CHANCE TO RITUALIZE THIS?

ARE WE GOING TO GET A CHANCE TO MAYBE GRIEVE OR TO THINK ABOUT THIS PROCESS.

AND SO THIS AFTERNOON IS ONE OF THE PIECES OF THIS RITUALIZING OF THIS DECISION THAT WE MADE.

WE ARE DOING A VIRTUAL TOUR OF THE MOTHERHOUSE AND THE PLACES THAT MIGHT BE SIGNIFICANT TO MANY OF US.

FATHER OF OUR JOURNEY YOU HAVE GATHERED US TODAY ON THIS HOLY GROUND TO REMEMBER, TO CELEBRATE, TO BLESS, AND TO LET GO OF THIS MOTHERHOUSE WHICH HAS BEEN THE HOME OF OUR SISTERS FOR 102 YEARS.

WE BELIEVE THAT OVER THESE MANY YEARS YOU HAVE BUILT THIS HOME FOR US.

IF THE BUILDING COULD REVEAL ITS SECRETS WE COULD HEAR THE STORIES OF JOYS AND SORROW, LIFE AND DEATH, SUCCESSES AND FAILURES, WORK AND PLAY, ALL THAT MAKE UP OUR EARTHLY JOURNEY.

WE HAVE INDEED RECEIVED FROM YOUR BOUNDLESS LOVE.

WE HAVE BEEN INVITED AND ENABLED TO SERVE HERE.

TO SERVE ONE ANOTHER AND OTHERS WHO HAVE BEEN OUR VISITORS AND OUR GUESTS.

WE HAVE BLESSED AND BEEN BLESSED OVER THE YEARS.

NOW OUR PRESENCE HERE IS CHANGED.

OUR LOVE AND FIDELITY NEVER WILL.

WE GRIEVE THE LOSS.

WE CELEBRATE THE MEMORIES.

WE GIVE THANKS FOR THE BLESSINGS.

FOR ALL THAT HAS BEEN, THANKS.

FOR ALL THAT WILL BE, YES.

JOAN CHITTISTER: THEY'RE CAUGHT IN THIS REVOLVING DOOR CALLED SOCIAL CHANGE.

IT'S NOT A CONDEMNATION OF THE WAY OF LIFE.

IT'S NOT SAYING THAT THE PEOPLE DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT.

IT'S SIMPLY A NATURAL EVOLUTION.

KENNETH BRIGGS: I THINK THAT'S GENERALLY ACKNOWLEDGED AMONG SISTERS THAT THEY'RE STILL ON A RATHER SHARP DECLINE.

IN FACT, ONE OF THE THEMES AMONG SOME RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES IS TO FIND A WAY TO DIE WITH DIGNITY.

NARRATOR: NOT LONG AGO THE GOOD WORKS OF THE URSULINES SPREAD FAR BEYOND LOUISVILLE.

THAT HAS CHANGED.

AT THIS TIME THERE ARE NO LOUISVILLE URSULINES TEACHING IN THE SCHOOLS THEY FOUNDED.

STILL, THE LEGACY OF QUALITY EDUCATION ENDURES.

SO DOES THE VISION OF ST. ANGELA.

MARTHA BUSER: WE HAVE, I BELIEVE, FACED THE ISSUES THAT RELIGIOUS CONGREGATIONS IN GENERAL HAVE.

WE'VE COVERED ALL THE PROPER BASES- FINANCIAL, SPIRITUAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL.

WE HAVE FACED OUR FUTURE BRAVELY AND HOPEFULLY.

I THINK WE'RE IN A REALLY HEALTHY, HAPPY PLACE.

OUR MEDIAN AGE IS, OH, I THINK ABOUT IN THE MID-80'S NOW.

SO, TO BE AT THIS PLACE AT THIS AGE AND THIS SIZE, AND TO DO THAT, TO FACE THAT AND TO EMBRACE IT, I THINK IS A PRETTY GUTSY THING, AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE DONE THAT.

AGNES COVENEY: AS TIME GOES ON WE CAN ADJUST TO OUR EVOLVING REALITY AND PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE AND GET READY FOR WHAT COMES NEXT FOR US.

JOAN CHITTISTER: THERE'S ALWAYS A ROLE FOR WOMEN RELIGIOUS IN ANYBODY'S CHURCH AND ESPECIALLY TODAY'S CHURCH QUITE FRANKLY.

ANY PLACE A GOOD WORK IS BEING DONE THE NUNS ARE THERE IN SOME FORM.

AND PEOPLE KNOW THAT IF YOU GIVE A NUN $10 FOR A NEEDY FAMILY THE FAMILY WILL GET $9.50 AND SHE'LL USE .50 CENTS FOR THE GAS TO DRIVE IT OUT TO THEM.

MARTHA BUSER: SO, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE, BUT WE HAVE HOPE, A FUTURE FULL OF HOPE IS WHAT SCRIPTURE TALKS ABOUT.

SO, WE'RE WOMEN OF HOPE.

I MEAN WE HAVE HUNG IN THERE TOGETHER.

AND THEN BECAUSE WE DID OUR JOB SO WELL I LIKE TO THINK WE KIND OF WORKED OUR WAY OUT OF A JOB BECAUSE LAY PEOPLE, WHOM WE HAD TAUGHT, TOOK OUR PLACE IN MANY WAYS.

THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

THAT WAS NOT A BAD THING.

ACTUALLY, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE WANTED.

JOAN CHITTISTER: WOMEN'S RELIGIOUS LIFE IS NOT A NUMBERS GAME.

IT IS A PRESENCE AND A MODEL AND A WITNESS AND A SUPPORT TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BUILDING THE SOCIETY AROUND YOU.

NOW, WHAT WE BRING TO THAT IS ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT LIFE.

NARRATOR: AND SO THE 21ST CENTURY UNFOLDS.

MOST WOULD AGREE THESE ARE NOT THE BEST OF TIMES.

MAYBE THE BEST WE CAN SAY IS THAT IT IS A TIME OF GREAT CHANGE.

BUT IN THE MIDST OF WAR AND CLIMATE CHANGE AND SPIRIT DEADENING DIVISION MARTHA YOU CONTINUE GROWING IN YOUR VOCATION, TRUE TO WHAT YOU VOWED SO MANY YEARS BEFORE.

I KNOW IT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN EASY.

I THINK BACK TO WHAT YOU SAID WHEN MANY OF YOUR SISTERS LEFT THE CONGREGATION- MARTHA BUSER: I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE YOU MUST GO WHERE THERE IS LIFE.

AND IF I AM REALLY HONEST WITH MYSELF I WOULD HAVE SAID IN THE MID '60'S AS I WOULD SAY NOW-I HAVE FOUND LIFE IN THIS WAY OF LIFE.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT THE GIFT OF THE CONGREGATION WILL EVER BE LOST.

WE CALL THAT A CHARISM.

NARRATOR: AND NOW?

MARTHA: I'M HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.

NARRATOR: YOUR 90TH BIRTHDAY COINCIDES WITH THE COVID PANDEMIC.

A PROPER PARTY IS OUT OF THE QUESTION, BUT STILL PEOPLE COME TO CELEBRATE YOU.

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WOULD'VE ASK WHY?

NOW I SEE.

DESPITE BEING LEGALLY BLIND• AND STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN YOUR BALANCE YOU HAVE SHOWN PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE•HOW TO CHANGE•HOW TO GROW•.

MARTHA BUSER: I HOPE I DON'T TURN INTO A BITTER OLD LADY.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

IT'S A CONVERSION.

WE GO THROUGH MANY CONVERSIONS IN OUR LIFE.

NARRATOR: MARTHA, MUCH LIKE YOUR COMMUNITY, YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH CHANGES AND CONVERSIONS.

THE MOTHERHOUSE REMAINS, BUT NOW IT IS PUT TO NEW USES.

THE REMAINING URSULINES NOW LIVE IN SMALL GROUPS.

IT IS NOT UNLIKE THE MANNER IN WHICH ST. ANGELA, ONCE LIVED WITH HER FOLLOWERS.

THE COMMUNITY NOW NUMBERS LESS THAN 40 MEMBERS.

THEIR MINISTRIES AND GOOD WORKS CONTINUE.

IT'S A RARE DAY THAT I DON'T THINK OF SOMETHING I'VE LEARNED FROM YOU.

THEN I THINK OF ALL THE OTHERS THAT YOU AND YOUR SISTERS HAVE TOUCHED.

WHO KNOWS WHERE THOSE RIPPLES WILL GO.

I REMEMBER ONE OF THE LAST CONVERSATIONS WE HAD.

MARTHA BUSER: AND SO AS I HAVE GROWN OLDER AND HAVE DEEPENED IN MY LOVE FOR GOD AND I MEAN THAT REALLY SERIOUSLY.

COMING TO KNOW GOD MORE DEEPLY AND TO LOVE GOD MORE DEEPLY.

THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF COMING TO APPROACH THAT LOVE FOR GOD OR EVEN SEARCHING FOR GOD.

THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF DOING THAT.

I'M A ROMAN CATHOLIC OLD RELIGIOUS AND THAT WAY OF SEARCHING FOR GOD HAS BEEN FACILITATED AND DEEPENED AND ENLIGHTENED IN THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH, WITH ALL OF ITS SINS AND GOOD POINTS AND BAD POINTS, IT'S A WAY THAT HAS NURTURED ME AND LED ME THROUGH MY LIFE.

I WOULD NEVER GIVE THAT UP, BUT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

PEOPLE FIND ONE WAY THAT IS GOOD FOR THEM AND FIND THEMSELVES GROWING AS HUMAN BEINGS AND AS LOVING HUMAN BEINGS THROUGH OTHER WAYS.

WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS GOD.

NARRATOR: IN THE BEGINNING, MARTHA, I WAS LOOKING FOR "WHY"?

I ASKED YOU FOR THAT "AHA" MOMENT.

INSTEAD, YOU SHOWED ME A SIMPLE, CHALLENGING WAY.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BECOME ONE WITH GOD?

WELL, IT IS STILL A MYSTERY, BUT BY KNOWING YOU, I SEE THAT IT IS POSSIBLE.

MARTHA BUSER: OH, THE BIG THING IS, HOW CAN GOD LET ALL THIS BAD STUFF HAPPEN?

HOW COME GOD LETS ALL THOSE PEOPLE AT THE BORDER SUFFER?

HOW COME MY SISTER DIED?

THAT'S A GOD QUESTION SO IT'S GOT BE WHO DO YOU THINK GOD IS?

SO YES, THAT'S PERENNIAL.

DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE WHAT AGE IT IS.

WHETHER THIS IS THE 60'S, THE 2000'S.

THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

THOSE ARE HUMAN ISSUES AND SO THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT.

PEOPLE CAN SAY, "YOU'RE SO OLD HOW DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND ME?"

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

MY ANSWER TO THAT IS THAT OLDER IS BETTER, BECAUSE FOR THE MOST PART WHEREVER YOU ARE I'VE BEEN THERE.

I HAVE TO SAY THAT VERY CAREFULLY BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE ARE A REAL BORE WHEN THEY CAN TELL EVERYBODY "THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE."

I'VE LIVED 8 DECADES, BEEN THROUGH A LOT, SAW A LOT, I DO KNOW SOME THINGS.

NARRATOR: FUNDING FOR THIS PROGRAM MADE POSSIBLE BY JAMES A. PATTERSON, AS WELL AS DAYNA & DAVID TOMES, ROSE COOPER & ALLEN BUSH, CHRISTY & RALPH HAAS