(upbeat music) - Coming up on the next Inspire, menopause.

Did you just cringe?

It's amazing how one word can have such a negative stigma.

However, the truth is, menopause is a phase of life that many find liberating.

And a time to pursue their dreams.

We talk about our new normal, as we take this journey through life.

Coming up next on Inspire.

(bright music) - [Announcer] Inspire is sponsored by Kansas Furniture Mart.

Using furniture to inspire conversation.

And by the Blanche Bryden Foundation.

(upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to Inspire.

I'm so excited to be here with my co-hosts, Betty Lou Pardue and Amber Dickinson.

And today's topic is menopause.

And one that historically has been seen as a negative, all due to the perception that this is the time when women lose their fertility, youthfulness, and sexuality.

And ladies, that could not be further from the truth.

- Absolutely Danielle.

Menopause is something that should be embraced.

Women start new careers, pursue their dreams, and according to menopause myth, put their men on pause?

- [laughs] Too funny.

And couldn't be further from the truth.

Here to speak more on the topic of intimacy, the physical and emotional changes we experience, and the liberation of menopause, are Laura Sidlinger, Director of mental health programs for Valeo, and Lara Rivera, nurse and midwife.

Ladies, we're so glad you're here.

This is such a deep topic, we're fired up.

And you know, if we could just kind of go through a little bit of the bad before we get to the good because there is a positive.

But actually there's three stages, maybe four of menopause?

- Yeah.

So menopause itself is defined as having an entire year without any menstrual cycles.

So, the years leading up to menopause are defined as the perimenopausal period.

So that for the average woman will last four to eight years.

Most women achieve menopause between the ages of 45 and 55, with the average age in the United States being 51.

So those years leading up until the final menstrual period, perimenopausal years, are when most women start experiencing symptoms and noticing some changes in their cycles.

- And then it ends up of course, with the post-menopausal phase, where everything quiets back down.

- So what are some of the symptoms that people might experience when they begin to go through this process?

- Probably the most common thing that women report is vasomotor symptoms.

So hot flashes, night sweats, difficulty sleeping.

A lot of women will have vaginal dryness and have discomfort with intercourse.

- You can also have mental health symptoms, forgetfulness, feeling more depressed, and just not feeling like they're on their A-game.

Not have their energy, their lives put together.

- Let's talk about mental fog.

Because I immediately went into menopause at 41 when I had to have an emergency hysterectomy.

So I missed all those, you know, years of getting into it to just get into it.

But mental fog was one of the biggest things that I had to deal with.

Can you talk to us about that, and some of the ways that we can cope with that?

- Sure.

So, the mental fog sometimes can be some unmasked depression that's happening.

It can be just that the fluctuation in the neurotransmitters in the body, in particular, serotonin and norepinephrine, which help us with concentration and focus, get a little out of balance, and that's why one of the first line medication therapies we might use, is actually an antidepressant.

And, when we help with that thermoregulation piece, then we help with the flushing, the night sweats, the hot flashes, but also then, because you're having less night sweats, the insomnia also can be relieved significantly.

So people then start getting into a better sleep cycle, which of course, then they have better cognition and function.

Less mental fog.

- [Betty Lou] So- - [Amber] So when- Oh I'm sorry!

(laughs) - Oh no I just was... (laughs) - We're just so excited!

(laughs) - What can we do to help others understand what a woman's going through, and help her alleviate some of that stigma, of the negativity.

- I think the best thing we can do is talk about it.

It's just as normal as going through puberty, as getting pregnant, having a baby, being postpartum, breastfeeding.

I think there's a stigma associated with it that women don't feel comfortable discussing menopause and symptoms, and if we just honor the normalcy of it as a regular life event, and acknowledge it is what it is, and every woman has different symptoms and experiences a different transition.

That just openness is the very best start to helping women move through menopause.

- So, I have a question about this, because it is a perfectly normal thing.

It's inevitable, it's going to happen to every woman, but it does seem like it's sort of a cringe-worthy topic.

Like you mentioned earlier, that we sort of don't want to talk about this.

Why is that?

What is the stigma?

Is it just that women's bodies are so valued because of the fertility?

That once that is not on the table anymore, that we're sort of dismissed?

What is the stigma behind why women don't openly discuss this?

- Well, I think that there can be some of that, but I also think that women are just viewed so differently, especially in the workplace.

About 11% of women in the United States right now are in that menopausal window, that 45 to 55 range.

But that actually, because we have so many women in the workforce, that's going to grow to 25% by 2030.

And so one in four people that you're going to be in the workplace with, is potentially going to be experiencing some of these things.

And so, we have to start talking about it.

Just as we have to be more sensitive in our workplace with other issues.

This is something we need to discuss, and recognize and not be afraid of.

One of the things that I find very interesting is when women just are very honest in saying, "I'm in a meeting, and all of a sudden I'm having a hot flash and I need a break."

Just asking for what you need.

"I need a moment.

Could we take a 10 minute break?"

And just letting everyone step back.

Or being honest with your boss or your supervisor saying, "I'm going to be honest, I'm a little more forgetful.

I'm going through menopause, and I just forgot to put that on my schedule today.

And this is how I'm going to correct that going forward."

And that way you have a plan for managing it.

And I think that's part of it is, there are some great pharmacologic interventions that we can use to help women in menopause.

But I think there's also some great non-pharmacologic strategies too.

- I don't know about you, but I feel liberated now that I'm in menopause.

(group laughing) I never have to deal with the cycle ever again.

Let's just have some stinking applause for that.

Never having to think about the next steps in terms of having to deal with the cycle, is a beautiful thing.

- No fear of pregnancy.

- No fear of pregnancy.

That's another thing to be excited about.

I think that women are changing, and I think that growing older is something that is changing as well, because it's not dreaded.

We're no longer Aunt Bea's with the bun on our heads.

- [Lara] Right.

- We're still just as active and into things is as ever.

Talk about that, because it's not something that has to be such doom and gloom.

- [Betty Lou] Right.

- 50 is the new 30, right?

Let's start there.

We'll start there.

- [Mary Lou] (laughing) - [Laura] Foxy at 50.

- (group laughs) - That's right!

- Yeah, and I definitely do think it's liberating for women.

I think when women become sexually active, the thing they worry about the most, all the way through their sexual lifespan is pregnancy, up until menopause.

And then all of a sudden it's, "I can have sex and I don't have to worry about a baby".

- Yeah, and we don't have to worry about all of the medications, the birth control pills, everything.

That can be gone, and that's liberating as well.

- [Lara] Absolutely.

- It's a period in your life where maybe kids have moved out of the house, you're in your home alone with your partner, and you can really just let loose and enjoy each other and not have to worry about all the little things you worried about leading up to that point.

- You've got your life back!

- [Laura] Yeah.

- (group laughing) (upbeat music) - We're going to take a quick break, and when we come back, we're going to talk about sex and intimacy, and whatever else comes up.

But we'll be right back.

(upbeat music) - We're back!

With Laura Sidlinger and Lara Rivera Ladies, in the last segment we discussed the stages of menopause and what women can expect when they start experiencing these things.

So now let's move into talking about this idea of intimacy and treatment.

- Well, so when women go through menopause, there's definitely a change in the estrogenation to the vaginal tissue.

Women end up typically with more vaginal dryness, irritation, discomfort with intercourse.

And there's lots of ways to address that.

Probably the easiest over the counter vaginal moisturizers or vaginal lubricants, which both act in slightly different ways.

And then also vaginal estrogen, which is delivered more locally to that tissue versus oral hormone therapy, which is more systemically delivered, is a very nice way to re-estrogenize that tissue and make intercourse more comfortable.

- Well, let's talk about some of the good stuff.

Because I know personally, that I feel a little happier when it comes to intimacy and being involved in a relationship.

Is that something that's a natural byproduct or is it just the opposite for most women?

- Well that's a great question.

I think just as with any experience, it can go either way.

Some women feel very liberated by this, and are excited about this new time in their life.

And they really start to seek new experiences between the sheets, with their partners.

But others, I think are a little bit more reluctant.

They feel like their body's changed.

They feel like there might be something wrong with them.

And that's why I think it's really critical that they go get that first physical health exam.

Make sure they get labs drawn.

Let's make sure there's not an underlying medical problem that could be contributing to why they're feeling the way they are.

And then at that point, then look at the possible interventions.

Whether it's with medications, whether it's with cognitive behavioral therapy.

Whether it's learning some new coping skills, maybe just some lifestyle practices.

Making lists so that you don't forget important events.

Having one master calendar, instead of having the one on your phone, the one in your purse, the one at home on the refrigerator.

- (group laughs) - And, keeping things in one location.

That really can help everyone feel a little bit more successful, and like they have it all together.

- You were talking a little bit about, when you're going to the doctor, you need to get all this done.

But how do you get across to them that that's really what your concern is.

Because it seems like, I was reading some statistic that, 80% of medical personnel are not really trained on the menopause.

Is that factual?

Bad news?

What?

- [Lara] No, I do think there are definitely providers that are very skilled in care of menopausal women and the symptoms, and so I would recommend that women look for a NAMS certified provider, which is the North American Menopause Society.

And there are providers locally in our area that have received that training.

So they really have very intimate knowledge, no pun intended, - (group laughing) of all of the ins and outs of intimacy and how that changes with menopause.

So finding the right provider is important, and then feeling comfortable talking about it with your provider, because I can't tell you how many women call, they make an appointment for a problem.

And then they get in the room with the door shut and they say, "That's not why I made the appointment.

I made it for this reason," but they didn't even feel comfortable telling the front, you know, the person that answered the phone, why they were coming in.

- [Betty Lou] Because they didn't want to be poo-pooed, you know, like, "Hey, you know, it's not a big deal".

- Yeah and, you know, sex should be fun.

Sex should be fun, as long as you're having sex, if you're in a healthy relationship it should be enjoyable.

And there's always things that we can do to make sex better if its not fun for a person.

So, another really great thing that we can offer for women is pelvic floor physical therapy.

There are women that suffer from relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles, and have issues with urinary incontinence, and pain during intercourse.

And pelvic floor physical therapy is a great way for them to kind of get back what they had lost.

- [Laura] Regain that strength and control again.

- So for women who are interested in, maybe spicing up their sex life or changing things up, what are some resources for women that are accessible.

Especially for women that are timid to talk to girlfriends, or talk to someone.

Where are places that women can look to, to get information about this?

- Great question.

So, I think that's great if you have a girlfriend or a set of girlfriends who you can talk to about those experiences, but there are other resources in the community.

There are therapists who deal with intimacy issues.

There are mental health providers who are dual-certified in primary care like myself.

And then there's the women's health personnel, the healthcare workers in there, like Lara, who's a midwife.

This is something she's very comfortable with, in having that conversation.

So there are places to go.

And I don't think that we can underestimate the importance of some of the basics.

Like healthy eating, getting appropriate exercise.

In particular, we need weight-bearing exercises as we're getting older to protect us from osteoporosis in menopause.

But we also need that cardio, that aerobic activity to protect our heart from cardiovascular disease.

And we need to make sure that we're staying on a good sleep cycle.

If we don't get into that REM sleep cycle, then we're not getting our reset button hit.

So if the earlier interventions, maybe starting on some medications or some topical estrogen cream isn't helping, then it might be the time to go to speak to somebody who deals more with sleep issues, pulmonology, and mental health, who are frequently providing interventions there.

So that can be part of the recovery.

We've talked about clinical ways to deal with menopause, but what about our mates?

Because I remember Michael, when he first heard that I was going to enter into menopause, he was like, "Oh dear Jesus.

Here we go."

- (group laughing) - And I was like, "What?"

Because I had no real idea as to what the journey was going to be like.

How do we talk to our mates about it and make them okay with the changes?

- I think part of it is just that really good, open, honest communication.

I think the stigma says, we're going to be moody, evil, ugly people, kind of bitchy.

- [Danielle] (laughs) And that really isn't necessarily the case for most women.

Some women will go all the way through the menopause process and just all of the sudden realize one day, "I haven't had a period in a really long time".

And never truly be symptomatic.

But I think other women, and it comes down to that communication.

Saying, "I want you to know that, I'm starting to have irregular cycles now, and this might be me entering that phase of my life, and I just want you to be aware of it.

I might be a little more moody, or I might be a little more forgetful, but frankly, I just need you to let me know if that's happening, so that I can make sure I'm doing what I can to be my best."

And maybe that's go to have a conversation with my provider, or get on medication.

- Thank you both for being here.

You know, we can talk a lot.

- Yeah.

Yes.

- We could talk all night about this.

- I could talk for hours.

- But we thank you Lara and Laura, for being here on Inspire.

And coming up after a short break, Danielle, and Amber, and I, will be back to continue our discussion, and you never know.

So stay with me.

(all laughing) (happy upbeat music) - Thanks ladies.

I'm Sarah Star, and I'm excited to bring you a bit of inspiration to add to your daily activity routine.

In today's session, we'll be focusing on creating a stronger core.

A strong core not only looks great, but helps to stabilize our bodies, and improve balance.

It also helps to create better posture.

And when we have better posture, we have less back pain.

Join me for this quick, accessible yoga practice, as we strengthen our hip flexors and core, while using a chair for support.

Relax, and remember your happy yoga smile.

Namaste.

(peaceful music) Let's begin our practice by coming to stand with your right hip closest to the chair.

Using your right hand to the chair for support.

Shift your weight into your right foot.

Pick up your left foot, drawing your left knee in closer.

Strengthening through your hip flexors, core, and quadriceps.

For more of a challenge, extend your left leg to hover.

Continue breathing deeply, as you reach your left arm to the sky.

Release and repeat to the opposite side.

Standing with your left hip closest to the chair.

Shift your weight into your left foot.

Pick up your right foot, drawing your right knee in closer.

(peaceful music) For more of a challenge, extend your right leg to hover.

Continue standing tall, lightly lifting your lower belly towards your spine, as you reach your right arm to the sky.

(birds chirping) Release, coming to face the seat of your chair, transitioning into down dog.

Place your hands to the seat of your chair, and step your feet back, hip-width apart or slightly wider.

Stay connected to your breath, toning through your belly.

Pressing the tops of your thighs back.

(birds chirping) Feeling unrushed, step your feet forward with your feet below your hips, and your hands to the seat of the chair, in line with your shoulders.

Exploring modified cat cow stretch.

Inhale lift through your heart, exhale round your spine, chin toward your chest.

Continue wrapping this moment around your breath.

With each inhale, lift through your heart.

Tilting your pelvis forward lightly.

And with each exhale, round your spine, drawing your navel back, chin towards your chest, lengthening your tailbone under slightly.

Adding on, inhale lift and extend through your right leg, Exhale, draw your knee towards your navel, rounding your spine, coiling your navel back.

Chin towards your chest.

Continue moving at your own pace.

With each inhale, lift and lengthen, extending your leg back.

And with each exhale, round your spine, drawing your knee towards your navel.

Chin towards your chest, stretching across your upper back.

(peaceful music) Transitioning into modified spinal balance.

Pause, with your right leg extended, with your right knee pointing towards the earth.

Extend your left arm forward, shoulder height.

Reaching through your fingertips, continue drawing your navel back, keeping your spine neutral.

Pressing back to the ball of the right foot to lengthen, feeling the back of your neck long.

(peaceful music) Release, setting your right foot to the earth, repeating to the opposite side.

Inhale lift and extend through your left leg.

Exhale, draw your knee in toward your chest, rounding your spine, coiling your navel back, chin towards your chest.

Continue wrapping this energizing movement around your breath.

(peaceful music) (birds chirping) Transitioning into modified spinal balance.

Pause, with your left leg extended, reaching back through the ball of your left foot.

Extend your right arm forward, shoulder height.

Reaching through your fingertips.

Continue to keep your spine in a neutral position, lengthening through the crown of your head, and back through your tailbone, with your core engaged.

Stay connected to your breath as you release, transitioning into down dog.

Step your feet back, hip width apart, or slightly wider.

Breathe as you stretch your hips back.

Rolling your shoulders open, away from your ears.

Allowing gravity to lengthen your spine.

Continue cultivating awareness, as you slowly work your feet in.

Coming to take a seat, completing our yoga practice for today.

Namaste.

(upbeat music) Thank you for joining me.

Hopefully I've inspired more activity and mindfulness in your day.

See you next time!

(upbeat music) - And we're back, ladies.

We had a great discussion earlier, with our guests about menopause, a topic that makes a lot of women uncomfortable.

But, we all need to realize that this is not the end.

But rather, a new beginning.

Ladies, what are your takeaways from this conversation?

- Well I know you got fired up.

- I did!

- (group laughing) - Amber's got takeaways.

- I'm just so struck by the fact that this is something that we have felt almost ashamed to talk about.

Or that this is not something that we are just naturally taught when we're taught other things about sexuality, or who we are as women.

And so I'm really excited for the possibility that this just becomes a mainstream conversation.

And that, we were talking earlier, and I was even nervous thinking about, oh my gosh, we're gonna say all these things on the show today.

And I thought, "But why am I nervous?

Because this happens to every woman."

So I'm just so thankful that we have had this opportunity to talk about these things.

- But you've done some research back to the days of the Greeks.

- Yes!

- (group chattering) - We really have to hear that, and you guys are gonna love it.

- Well basically, it's just these ideas about what it meant to be a woman.

And women at the time were really regarded as just baby making machines essentially, right?

And that once you were unable to be fertile, that you were just dismissed from society.

Or you were somehow seen as somebody that was worthy of nothing.

And to see that women's value has historically hinged upon their fertility, is just wrong for so many reasons.

Because number one, not every woman wants to have a baby.

Right?

- [Danielle] Right.

- Not every woman can have a baby.

And so to tell women as a whole, that your worth is based on your fertility, is just abominable, really.

(laughs) And I bet you can guess who was doing most of the work on writing these ideas.

- Men.

- Yes!

- (group laughing) - Good!

Good!

(laughs) - Well, I'm so lucky that I have a mother who is very progressive, and I think when she hit her 50's, she got her first tattoo, and she was out there, she was a widow, and she was hitting it what it was like to be hitting.

So needless to say, I am so excited as I approach 50, that I have some of my mother in me.

So, it's an exciting time.

I'm thrilled to be able to do new things, try new things.

And I'm just ready to explore everything.

I feel like I'm fully feminine now.

I feel like I'm fully engaged in that whole mode of being the modern woman and 50 is the new 30, which could be 20, I don't care.

I'm embracing 50 as the gift that I've always wanted, and just didn't know.

- I love it too because it's so positive, and you know, the world is open.

- The world is open.

- You can do whatever you want to do.

But like Lara and Laura were saying earlier, a lot of times, nobody spoke about it.

Your mother never said anything about it.

You know, somebody in phys-ed at school.

Nobody talked about it.

So, great about your mom!

- Yeah.

She is definitely a role model for me.

She is 68 years old, actually will be 68.

Happy birthday early, Mom.

- (laughing) - And, she's out there living her life, and she goes to concerts by herself, and she is sassy, and men are coming up to her like, "Hey!

Wanda how you doing?"

- (group laughing) - And I'm like, "This is gonna be me in my 60s."

So, I'm excited for what's to come.

- I love what you said about feeling fully feminine.

Like I felt like I was looking at you with heart eye emojis.

Because it's like this idea that we are somehow not feminine anymore, when we hit a certain age, or when certain things happen to us.

I think that's such an outdated way of thinking, and I think that's a beautiful way to explain it, that you're fully feminine.

I love that.

- You know, I do want to get back, if we ever have them, because some women who don't feel feminine anymore, who have backed away from sexuality, or even trying to find a partner.

I wonder, she was talking, there's some topics that you can get into, and some therapy and that type of thing too.

But that's something that we could explore.

- [Danielle] Absolutely.

And in the meantime, Google.

- Yeah.

Yes.

- Because there's a wealth of information that you can find online.

And if you're shy about talking to someone one on one, you could always go and start your research there.

- But Google carefully.

Choose your words wisely, as you do the Googling.

(laughs) - [Danielle] Yes.

Baby chicks can mean a whole lot of different things.

- (group laughs) - Not saying that I know.

Just wanted to put it out there.

- (group laughing) (upbeat music) - That's all we have for today.

It was a lot, but that's all we have for today.

We sure hope you've been inspired by today's menopause discussion.

Don't forget, you can watch this program again.

At watch.ktwu.org.

- And if you are so inspired to learn more about our guests, and the women making moves in our community, be sure to visit our website at www.ktwu.org slash, that's a forward slash, inspire.

- Inspiring women.

Inspiring you.

On KTWU.

Thank you for watching!

(upbeat music) - [Announcer] Inspire is sponsored by Kansas Furniture Mart.

Using furniture to inspire conversation.

And, by the Blanche Bryden Foundation.