(upbeat music) - Coming up on inspire, many women dread the big 5-0, but why?

This is the time when many women find their purpose, embrace who they are and work towards those lifelong dreams.

We're talking about freedom after 50 today, stay with us.

- Inspire is sponsored by Kansas furniture Mart using furniture to inspire conversation.

and by the Blanche Bryden foundation.

(upbeat pop music) - Hello and welcome to inspire.

I'm so pleased to be here with my lovely co-hosts Amy Kelly and Betty Lou Pardue.

I'm so excited to talk about this topic that impacts me directly now, cause I literally turned 50 at the day of this taping.

- Happy birthday, Danielle.

- Thank you.

- It's a milestone to celebrate instead of dread.

Now this is the time of life When many women feel they find their purpose, celebrate the freedoms of post-menopause and can focus on achieving their lifelong goals.

- And here with us today, to talk about the freedoms we experience after turning 50.

And what to expect from our changing bodies?

Our Dr. Leigh Eck, endocrinologist at the university of Kansas health system and Dr. Jessica Kalendar-Rich, geriatric medicine and hospice and palliative care medicine at the university of Kansas health system.

Okay, so you turn 48, eh.

Turn 49, eh.

and then lightning bullet, you turn 50. and suddenly we hit into geriatric land.

Please.

Can somebody explain this to me and explain this to us?

Both of you.

I'd love to hear from both of you.

- You have not entered geriatric land just by turning 50.

I know it's good news for everybody, right?

when we talk about geriatrics, really it's about like a state of mind and a state of being and how we all are getting around and functioning and doing our normal things.

So you can be 70 and be geriatric.

You can also be 70 and walk three miles a day and totally not be.

So 50 is definitely not it.

- So what is it?

What is 50 then?

- 50 is a common age that we go through menopause.

So the average menopausal age for U.S. women is 51 in peri-menopause, the onset of that is about four years before menopause.

So with menopause women have a drop in their estrogen levels so a change in their hormone status and that can be associated for some women with symptoms to include hot flashes and insomnia.

So certainly there are some hormonal changes that occur at 50 that we work through, but certainly nothing about 50 is impacting our ability to enjoy life and to find joy and to age gracefully.

It's just another number.

- let's do that, - that we all wanna hit and go past.

For sure.

- Let's do that.

What are some ways that we can find joy?

I mean, we've got our 50 year old right here, Danielle, how can she find joy?

Not that she's not already joyous.

- I was gonna say it's clearly, you all are having a lot of joy this morning together.

So I think Dr. Kalendar-rich and I are inspired by your energy level today.

And so happy birthday to Danielle, that's, - Thank you.

- Fantastic that we're with you today.

Just like any other decade.

I think if we approach life with a growth mindset, pursuing purpose in taking care of our physical being, then we're gonna have a good year.

So that would be my advice to women, to all individuals, to be open, to change and to growth, to, you know, feed ourselves with nutritious food.

To seek physical activity most days of the week, to focus on sleep and to focus on optimism and, and moving forward with hope.

Certainly over the last couple years, we've really have to be dedicated to, to finding the joy and hope when times have been difficult at the medical center and across the state of Kansas.

- So is 50 different in this decade or after 2000 than it was when I was growing up because I know my grandmother was 56 when I came on the scene and I was like a little baby and 56 seemed to me like a woman with a bun on her head, you know, making cookies kind of like Aunt Bee and at 50, I don't feel any of those things.

So can you talk about how 50 has evolved and, and being after 50, how that's evolved as well?

- You know, 50 really used to be thought of as this, over the hill age.

And I think that was partially related to the fact that life expectancies were shorter and we expected people to have more diseases that perhaps didn't have any treatments or cures as they got older.

And we now have many more options for treatments.

We know so much more about medical care about the need for physical activity, the need for good nutrition, the need for really that like whole self mental health, physical self care, that really has allowed through modern medicine, And that knowledge 50 to be just really like Dr Eck said, really another number and an opportunity for us to find things at a new stage in our life that we can do.

I was just talking about how my kids were getting bigger and like there's no naps.

And like now I can, you know, go to the store and leave them home alone.

And all of those really important pieces of life that, that get better as, as we get older.

- For some of us who have been post 50 for a little while, we know that there are a number of changes that happen a lot of physical changes when your body no longer creates estrogen, that there there's some really changes that happen with that.

And, so can you talk to some of the things that we should be aware of being postmenopausal and what are some of the advantages of being postmenopausal?

- Well, certainly not having a menstrual period is an advantage of being post menopausal and that occurs again because our estrogen levels drop and with dropping estrogen levels, we just need to be very proactive with our bone health.

Estrogen is productive to bone health.

And so as our estrogen levels drop, we can lose our bone density.

And so we wanna be thoughtful about adequate calcium, vitamin D and weightbearing exercise to maintain our bone health.

with drop in estrogen levels, we can accumulate fat mass and lose muscle mass.

So again, exercise is important to build up that muscle mass.

Muscle mass is very efficient at burning calories and fat mass is inefficient at burning calories.

So as we age, we wanna really work hard to maintain our muscle mass so that we can maintain our healthy weight.

So those are some, some physical parameters, you know, menopausal symptoms, classic menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes.

Those often are temporally short for many women.

And so oftentimes women don't even seek medical care for hot flashes, you know, 80% of us experience hot flashes with menopause, maybe 20 to 25% of us seek medical care.

And when those are severe, we can intervene with medications, including hormone replacement therapy, but that would be a conversation that you'd have with your doctor, your gynecologist, your primary care physician, or your gynecologist to work through that situation.

- Let's continue in the health vein, please.

What screenings should we be getting at age 50?

And of course I know some started earlier, but particularly important, 50 and beyond health screenings.

- You know, by age 50, we should be pursuing colon cancer screening and breast cancer screening on a regular basis.

Any other routine screening test at age 50 Dr. Kalendar-rich?

- I mean, typically the routine labs will be completed by the primary care physician to look at things like cholesterol and depending on someone's risk factors to potentially screen for diabetes and look at blood pressure.

But aside from that, the changes that occur at 50 are really the additions that you mentioned.

- Let's talk about mental wellness at 50 and beyond.

What are some things that we might go through.

Are there issues with depression?

What are some things that we need to stay on top of?

- [Dr. Eck] You know, that's a good question about depression.

So there is data that suggests that with menopause women that are, have had a prior experience with depression are at higher risk for depression and that perimenopausal time period.

So it would be important to be in tuned with your mental health through that time course.

I think the data is strong that exercise and being in nature and seeking companionship is important for, for mood.

And so we should be doing that at age 50 and, and really every other time point throughout our life, you know, companionship and friendship and, and spending time with loved ones, spending time in nature, exercising, whatever helps to center you, I think is important to do for your, your mental wellbeing and your mental wellbeing, As Dr. Kalendar-rich mentioned is tied to your physical wellbeing.

So being attuned to both of those parameters is, is really important to age gracefully.

- I can't wait to talk about companionship and what goes along with that, but we're going to take a little bit of a break and we're going to be back with more on freedom after 50, stay with us.

(upbeat music) (funky guitar) - There are studies that show even putting a picture of nature in your home or in your office cubicle can help to decrease stress.

So of course, going outside in real nature is even more stress relieving for us.

- Also, we know that you can of course exercise while you're outside.

So you could not just sit and listen and relax, which is awesome, but you could exercise by hiking, walking, paddling, biking, all those other outdoor things, disk golf, anything outside could be a combination of soothing for your soul and great for your physical wellbeing.

- It's not difficult to get out into nature at all, whether you live in the country or the city.

So you can really get out into nature in your own backyard.

There's lots of state parks, city parks that you can visit.

- Today, We're at Kaw river state park.

It's the newest state park in Kansas.

It's located right on the edge of Topeka next to the train next to the river next to the highway.

But it feels like we're in the middle of the woods because we are.

When we're outside in nature, the healing properties include the sounds and the smells of nature.

It just brings us back maybe to our youth, to time that we used to play outside or be creative and imaginative of being outside.

Just listening to all the nature around us, even when there's a car or motorcycle going past, I can still hear the birds and being grounded in nature.

So feeling attached to the earth actually is really helpful for people.

There's initial research that shows spending time in nature, not even fast walking or running, but just being outside helps decrease your A1C.

If you have diabetes, it decreases your stress, your anxiety, your heart rate, your high blood pressure.

Just getting outside does all of those things.

It's great for our whole wellbeing.

- This is Jennifer and Denise with dirty girl adventures.

- We hope we've inspired you to get out and get dirty.

- You'll be glad you stayed with us because we're talking freedom after 50.

And as we left, we were talking about, well, there's a lot of relationships and we've gotta talk about the elephant in the room, intimate relationships, Doctors.

We'd like to hear from both of you.

Please.

- We'll start with sort of a medical perspective on this.

So when we go through menopause and have a drop in estrogen levels, we can develop a vaginal atrophy and that can interfere with intercourse.

And so if that is a situation for you, talk to your doctor about it, because we can help to manage that and to make intercourse comfortable for you and your partner.

Beyond that, as we go into that fifth decade, we probably have an empty house.

So maybe those intimate relationships are a little less stressed if you don't have kids in the home and you have a little bit more time for that.

So maybe that's an advantage after 50.

- Dr. Kalendar Rich, what do you say about that?

- Yeah, I truly agree.

I will add that, that, that vaginal atrophy that Dr. Eck had mentioned could be seen by potentially some like vaginal dryness during intercourse, which could potentially be painful and, you know, and it is pretty easily overcome if it's mild with some over the counter lubrication, but certainly if you need to, those are really important things to talk to your doctor about.

I know we're not always comfortable talking to our doctors or really anybody about the sex stuff, but certainly that's a part of life and a really important part of relationships.

And we need to all feel comfortable talking about those things.

- Well, let's talk about the psychology of sex.

Let's talk about the fact that women have a tendency to be down on themselves.

Maybe they've gained a few pounds or they're seeing the approaching gray in their hair, and they're just not feeling sexy like they did back in the day.

What can we do to kind of, you know, turn the motor on as it is to being like really back in the game when it comes to being intimate with our partners?

- So first, I think it's really important to always be able to talk to your partner, right.

and have those important conversations and, share the things that might interest you differently as you get older or might feel differently, or you might have different needs.

And so being able to communicate those things in a way that is respectful, but also allows you to be open, certainly can build on that relationship and can, and potentially even make it better than it was in your thirties and twenties.

- Having been over 50 now and I, you know, I can't believe over 50, I blah, this, and this is hurting.

And I sleep wrong one night and I hurt for three weeks, you know, because that's just kind of what happens.

But at the same time, you know, I'm also of the, of the mindset that, you know, I've worked really hard to get to be 50 plus, you know, the lines and the scars and I've earned them, I've earned them.

So how do we start to de-stigmatize?

That's my word.

De-stigmatize the idea of being over 50.

- I think we just have to offer ourselves grace with the aging process and find joy in it.

I know Dr. Kalendar-rich and I care for patients in their fifth and sixth and seventh decade.

And I think we're both so motivated by those patients that continue to, to attend to their psychological and physical wellness.

And they give us tips and tricks to attend to our own physical and psychological wellness.

And what I see in aging patients that are feeling good is that they are focusing on good nutrition.

They're exercising, they're out walking their dog every single day and really just putting their health first and all those other pieces of life all behind that, because they're prioritizing their own wellbeing and that allows them to better serve their loved ones and their communities in those things that they're interested in.

- I'll just add, I love this idea of like you earned, I earned that wrinkle, right.

I earned that that ability to behave differently sometimes cause I'm older.

I earned that right through my experiences and, those are sometimes really badges of honor, right?

Those are these signs that, you have lived life and you've lived it to its fullest.

And maybe you went to the beach a lot as a kid and you have a few more wrinkles and that doesn't mean we have to run out and do all sorts of cosmetic things to make those go away, unless that's really important to you.

Right.

And each one of us has to decide how we use the tools that we've learned and gained as we age and how we reflect upon those ourselves and then, and then live with them and in them.

- Well, we'd like to have more confidence and you just feel like, you know, I've been through that.

I'm more aware I'm more educated, you know, that type of thing.

But we recently did a show about beauty standards.

So you hear, oh gosh, when you're 40 or 45, you've got to cut your hair short.

You've got to let yourself go gray.

You know, what do you say about that?

- No, I would just encourage you to, not listen to the noise and just kind of figure out what your center point is and keep it simple.

So figure out what, what makes you feel whole and well, and move forward in that lane.

And don't worry about other people's lanes.

And I think if we keep things simple and we keep things focused on our priorities, all that other noise can fall away and dissipate and we won't have to worry about it.

- You hear a lot about people having midlife crises after 50, going out and getting the hot rod sports car or going and doing something that's just way out of character.

Talk about that as it pertains to women.

- You know, I think as we get older and we see our lives change, you know, we may be in certain roles as we're in our twenties and thirties and, and some of those roles sort of move away, whether it's becoming empty nesters or a career changes or whatever they may be.

And as those things move away, they make room for us to really think about, gosh, what is it that I really want?

What is it that I really wanna be or do, or how I wanna behave.

and that I think opens the door for us to dream a little bit differently.

You know, especially as many of us might be primary caregivers for our kids or whatever that are now older.

And we can, we can think about spending money on the fancy car or changing our career or changing really just, you know, the things that make us happy because now we might have more time to look at those things.

- And the concept of being an empty nester is interesting because for many of us who are empty nesters, we spent all this time on our family.

Suddenly we're not dealing with family anymore and you can often feel lost.

Maybe you haven't been nurturing some relationships, you know, your marriage may be okay, but maybe your friendships aren't okay.

What can we do about that?

- You know, I think we see this not only with empty nesters, but also retirees.

And so approaching that pretty dramatic change in your life with a plan.

And then also allowing that plan to be revised as you move through the empty nesting stage and allowing yourself to figure out how you're going to fill that time that you didn't used to have because you were so busy serving others and just continuing to focus on your purpose and fulfilling your purpose.

I think that's important with a change in our, our home environment with kids leaving, but also with retirement.

- Well, Dr. Eck, Dr. Kalendar-rich, thank you so much for joining us on today's show.

We're gonna take a short break, but stay with us for continued discussion on life after 50.

- Three kitchen tricks, you need to know, stop struggling to open jars, just take some hot or boiling water and pour it into a plate.

Put your jar upside down into the water.

And 30 seconds later success.

A simple wooden spoon can stop a pot of boiling water.

And instead of the middle of your microwave, move things to the edge where the rotation will cook things more evenly.

This guy ain't worth your tears.

Here's how to stop him before they start.

slice your onion in half and put it in a bag.

Now we're just gonna pop this puppy in the freezer.

Basically the freezing helps slow down the gases that cause you to tear.

30 minutes later, you're good to go.

Dicing instead of chopping also helps.

Girl, these are no longer needed.

Quit struggling to peel that garlic.

I'm gonna show you how to go from this to this in less than a minute.

And without a knife.

just microwave your head of garlic for 20 to 30 seconds, then you're ready to crack it open and pop those buttons out with ease.

Make sure to be careful as some may be a little toasty.

(upbeat music) - Ladies.

We learned a lot today from Dr. Leigh Eck and Dr. Kalendar-rich So what are some of your takeaways?

- I know I wanna hear what Amy said before we even went on air it's profound and please share.

- Oh, well it's just the only thing that I think of after turning 50 is you realize, you know, I am who I am and of all the things that I've become, I've earned it.

It's a freedom.

It's, this is who I am.

I'm fine with that.

And if you don't like it, that's fine.

Go about your business.

Because I'm doing okay.

And it's a real freedom in that.

- And it's kinda like you don't succumb to the peer pressure or, you know what she was, when people saying you have to cut your hair, you have to do this.

You have to go gray.

You just don't.

You do your own thing.

- Yeah, I don't care.

you know, I appreciate your input, but I don't care what you think.

I know who I am.

- Look at the role models that we have, like Cher.. - Yes.

- You know, and Jane Fonda.

You know, I mean, people who look incredible and are incredible and they're just strong women.

I'm like, you know what?

- Right.

- 50 And over is gonna be beautiful.

- And I love that.

Yes.

And Goldie Hawn.

- Goldie Hawn, I mean for real, wow.

Suzanne summers.

- Yes.

- Who still looks like she's in her thirties and she's 75 years old.

- Barbara Streisand just turned 80.

- That's what I'm saying.

All these role models that we have, and none of 'em have a bun on their head.

Not that there's anything wrong with the bun.

I'm just saying the traditional roles that I grew up with of the grandmas and the grandpas it's like that doesn't necessarily speak to all of us.

And so we should live in our truth and do what we do.

- Well and not worry about, okay.

You know, Harper valley PTA.

I just think of that song, you know, you're wearing your skirts too short and all that kind of stuff.

You know, why not?

If you've got the legs for it or even if you don't, I mean, just do it, you be you.

- Exactly.

- But we have something very special because today is Danielle's actual 50th birthday.

(all laugh) - I feel like I crossed over.

Thank you.

- She has crossed over.

So we are so thrilled to have you, you know, because this is it, it is a milestone.

- It is.

- And you know, if you say, oh gosh, you're halfway to a hundred.

celebrate that.

- Absolutely.

- You've made it.

Look, what you've done its just amazing.

- Thank you.

- How are you feeling about today's discussion?

- Oh I'm excited I mean, it gets greater later, so I'm just, I'm ready to take the ride and, you know, just cause there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean there's a fire down below.

- I love that!

- Could be a fire down below.

- There already is a fire, thank you.

- Well, we have a little something for you, you know, (all cheer) - Celebrate, celebrate!

- That's awesome.

- And this is (unintelligible) here's your little cake.

- Thank you so much.

- And your lovely flowers, happy birthday Danielle.

(upbeat music) - And thank you guys for watching and celebrating so much, it's wonderful.

That is all the time we have for today.

If you'd like to watch this program again, just go to ktwu.org - And if you are so inspired to learn more about our guests, find out what's coming up on future shows, and get access to additional content.

Be sure to visit our website at wwwdotktw.org/inspire - Inspiring women, inspiring freedom after 50 inspiring you on KTWU.

thank you for watching.

- Inspire is sponsored by Kansas furniture Mart using furniture to inspire conversation and by the Blanche Bryden Foundation.