(bright instrumental music) (filmstrip whirring) (lively orchestral music) ♪ Jack and the Beanstalk ♪ ♪ We'll long remember when ♪ ♪ He shinnied up the stalk ♪ ♪ To beard a giant in his den ♪ ♪ Once up the beanstalk if Jack is set upon ♪ ♪ Then Jack be nimble, Jack be quick ♪ ♪ Or, Jack, you're good as gone ♪ ♪ Tha-tha-tha-tha ♪ ♪ There he goes, off to where nobody knows ♪ ♪ Long is the beanstalk and short is little Jack ♪ ♪ The long and short of it is, is he ever coming back ♪ (lively orchestral music) (soft orchestral music) (doorbell rings) >> Come in.

(man crashing) Oh, it's you.

I'm sorry, Arthur.

I thought it was the babysitter.

>> Just what do you have against babysitters?

>> Why, nothing.

>> Nothing?

>> It's a psychological stumbling block.

The juvenile mind resents the restraint of adult authority.

>> You ever had the feeling you're too old for your age?

>> Physically, I'm only eight.

Mentally, the doctors refuse to believe it.

Why do you bring my sister flowers?

Because you want to marry her?

>> It's all part of the racket.

Where is Eloise?

>> Putting on her lipstick, so you can kiss it off.

>> Come on, young fella, I'll put you to bed, or your sister and I are gonna be late for dress rehearsal.

>> Why do I have to go to bed?

Only children go to bed this early.

>> Arthur, I didn't hear you come in.

>> You should have.

I made quite an entrance, thanks to junior.

>> Donald, didn't you promise Mother and Dad you'd be a good boy?

>> I am being good.

It just happens that their standards are much higher than mine.

>> Where's his babysitter?

>> His sitter, Um?

Well, Donald, go in and wash your teeth and go to bed, and don't wake your baby sister.

>> What's the matter?

>> No babysitter.

>> There are dozens of baby sitters in the neighborhood.

>> Well, not for my dear brother.

He's been declared out of bounds.

>> Have you tried the employment agencies?

>> They don't have babysitters.

Well, it looks like my understudy will have to go on tonight.

>> Start calling every employment agency, till you find one that's open.

Get somebody, anybody.

>> It sounds like a bad idea, but I'll do it.

>> And I'll handle my pal Donald.

(horn honking) (tires squealing) (engine revving) (cars crashing) >> That's pretty reckless driving.

>> I'll say it is.

You oughta watch where you're going, big boy.

>> Ah.

>> What are you tryna do, get away?

>> Out of my way.

Out of my way, shorty.

(car rattling) I oughta run you in for this.

>> You're big enough to carry me in.

>> Officer, we're terribly sorry.

>> Well, all right, but don't let this happen again.

>> All right.

>> Now, get off of my car!

(man grunts) >> What are you gonna do with that?

>> Put it away.

>> Well, keep it there.

>> Yes, uh-huh.

I'd better hang up.

We've been talking for 10 minutes.

Here comes my heavy date for tonight, bye.

>> Who you calling a heavy date?

>> You, can you wait outside for five minutes?

Or will you get a ticket?

>> Well, if I do, I can get it fixed.

I have influence.

>> Don't do that!

>> Why don't you look where you're going?

See you outside, baby.

>> What do you see in that tall, dark, handsome fella?

>> Plenty.

>> Girls never say that to me.

>> What do they say to you?

>> Shh, nothing mixed up.

(phone ringing) >> Cosman employment agency.

Yes, I have been on the phone for quite a while.

I'm sorry, we don't list babysitters.

>> Uh, just a minute, lady.

>> Just a minute.

You are looking, you are looking at the world's greatest babysitter.

>> That's right, miss.

>> Him?

>> Sure, he is the best.

>> Where do you fit into this?

>> Oh, I'm his agent.

>> Yes, he lets me keep 10% of everything I earn.

>> I'm sorry I took so long, but fortunately, a professional babysitter just came in.

May I have your address, please?

Thank you, he'll be right out, goodbye.

>> Oh, thank you, miss.

Gee, you're wonderful.

I like girls like you, eyes of blue and 5'2".

Timber!

>> Sorry to be late.

>> It's Okay.

Shall we go?

>> You mean, you and I are going out together?

You see, Dink I have a way with girls.

Please.

>> Now, listen!

>> Yes, Daddy.

(smacks lips) He's, he's so big.

>> Come on, we've gotta babysit.

Get with it.

(cars clanking) Why?

Why are you so clumsy?

>> I'm excited.

>> Why?

>> This is my first job.

Gee, I hope he's a sweet child.

I love children.

>> Ah.

Come on.

(doorbell rings) >> It's about time they got here.

>> Are you the- >> The babysitter?

Uh, he sure is.

>> You're kind of big for a baby.

>> (chuckles) You're not for me.

>> Oh, rejected again.

I guess it isn't my night.

>> Won't you come in?

>> Sure.

>> Surely.

>> Well, we'll be plenty comfortable here.

>> Well, it's too late to get anyone else.

Have you had much experience with babies?

>> Oh, yes, sir, I've been a baby all my life.

>> Don't you worry about Jack.

The kids just love him.

He makes them feel so superior.

>> And which they are.

>> Well, they're both sound asleep, and I'm sure you won't hear a sound out of them all night.

But if you need anything.

>> Oh, no, madam.

I won't need a thing.

I'm prepared for everything.

>> No one's prepared for Donald.

>> Well, good luck, and we'll be home after 11.

>> Are you're going out right now?

>> Mm-hm.

>> Oh, costumes.

Going to a masquerade Ball?

>> No, a play.

>> A play?

Kids are gonna play.

May I see you out the door?

Excuse me, may I help you?

Oh, miss, in case I wanna see the children, just where are they?

>> Oh, they're in the bedroom down the hall.

>> Thank you.

>> Okay.

(door banging) High class, huh?

(baby crying) >> Music to my ears.

My first victim, duty calls.

See you, Mr. Dinkle.

(baby crying) This calls for action.

(babysitter stumbles) Shh, quiet.

You wanna wake up your sweet little brother?

Now, what seems to be the trouble?

Have a nice nap.

This is my real business, I know kids.

Good night.

>> Donald: Get me a glass of milk.

>> What did you say?

>> Donald: I said, get me a glass of milk.

>> This is unbelievable.

This kid talks better than me.

>> Donald: You're not very bright.

>> I'm sorry, kid.

What school did you go to?

>> Donald: The baby isn't talking, I am.

>> I know you're talking, but who?

>> Donald: I'm talking over here.

>> This kid ain't even moving her lips.

This is a baby ventriloquist.

>> Donald: I'm talking over here.

>> I know it's you.

I mean, (stammers) you.

What's your name?

>> Donald.

>> Are you a good boy?

>> No, it's not my nature.

I'm a problem child.

>> Get a load of the kid he's a problem child.

He's like me, I think.

Would you like to have me read you a story before you fall asleep?

>> That's been tried, too.

(babysitter cries) (club thudding) >> Oh, this kid, "Been tried, too."

Well, I'll tell you I oughta, I oughta I oughta "Jack and the Beanstalk."

My favorite novel.

Donald, can I read this to you?

>> Well, I wanna keep you happy.

Let's hear how it goes.

>> Thank you, Donald.

Hm.

"Once upon a time," That's pretty exciting, isn't it?

"Once upon a time, a whole village was ter.

A whole village was ter- >> Terrorized."

>> Yeah, yeah.

"The whole village was terrorized by a fer.

A fer.

>> Ferocious."

>> Yeah.

Donald, do me a favor.

This is a very exciting book about the giant and everything.

Will you read it to me, please?

I can't get over the big words.

>> Only because I'm fascinated by you.

Here, hold my club.

>> Yes, fascinated.

"Once upon a time, a whole village was terrorized."

>> Mm-hm.

>> "By a ferocious giant."

>> Yeah.

>> "Who lived in a castle in the sky.

In this village, lived a simple peasant boy named Jack and his widowed mother.

They had come upon hard times because of the giant.

One day, Jack was told to bring their only cow to the market and sell him for food.

Jack, being a very stupid boy, sold the cow for only five small beans."

>> Wee!

Ooh, ooh.

(zestful orchestral music) Princess Eloise.

(orchestral music) (cow mooing) Your Highness.

>> I wonder if I could have a glass of water?

>> Yes, Your Highness.

(cloth tearing) Uh-oh.

(goat bleating) You see anything, Billy?

(goat bleating) Oh, Princess.

I would have brung you the water.

>> I'm a little tired of people waiting on me.

It must be wonderful to be allowed to do everything you want to, whenever you want to.

>> Oh, you don't get around much, do you?

>> What do you mean?

>> You mean, you haven't heard?

There's no food in the village.

The giant, he's taken everything.

He's even taken your father's crown jewels, didn't he?

>> That's why I have to marry Prince Arthur.

>> Well, isn't it a love match?

>> I've never even seen him, but his people have money.

Did you ever have to marry a man you've never seen?

>> They they tell me I'm a boy.

>> Thank you for the water.

>> Thank you, Your Highness.

And Princess, remember, have courage, fear nothing when you're in the right.

That's my motto.

>> Mother: Jack.

>> Yes, Mother.

>> Jack, you must stop talking to yourself.

>> I wasn't talking to myself, Mother.

I was talking to the Princess Eloise.

>> Princesses don't talk to peasant boys.

(footsteps tapping) Oh, Jack, when are you going to grow up and get some sense?

>> Does one go with the other?

>> Jack, I've come to a very important decision.

>> You're not gonna give me away?

>> No.

If we're not to starve, I'll have to sell our last valuable possession.

>> No, you're not gonna sell the cow.

>> She has to go.

>> Fetch me a pail of water, and then be on your way.

>> Yes, Mother.

(orchestral music) Now, look, Henry, this is the last time I'm gonna let you look.

You look beautiful.

You and I are gonna part very soon.

You were the only thing I, I loved.

Now, this is the last look you're gonna get, Henry.

Take a look.

Don't you look pretty?

Oh, parting is such sorrow.

We've gotta go, Henry.

Uh-oh.

(orchestral music) Ooh, boy.

>> Tell me, young fellow, will this road take me to the royal palace?

>> No, sir, but your horse will.

Say, you're Prince Arthur.

>> So they tell me.

>> Oh, boy, will the Princess be surprised.

>> Princess Eloise?

>> Mm-hm.

You should have heard what she said about you this morning.

>> No worse than I said about her.

Any girl who will marry a man for his father's money... (storm rumbling) >> Uh-oh, the giant.

It's the giant, Henry, but you're safe with me.

(thunder cracks) (horse neighing) I won't let him take you.

See, what did I tell you, Henry?

I protected you.

Now, look, Henry, I gotta go tell the Prince about the bad giant stay here.

Hey, Prince, where did you go?

Oh, come on.

This is no time to play games.

Oh, Prince.

Oh, Prince.

Hey, Prince.

(dogs barking) Hey, stop, stop them.

(dogs barking) (cow mooing) He's a rough one, Henry.

(Jack screaming) >> Come inside, Jack, and I'll give you the best deal that I can afford.

>> Come on, Henry.

(cow mooing) >> Woman: Imagine that, I mean, all of the beef we haven't had any, and look at this big cow.

>> Woman: I'd like to get some of that.

>> Woman: I certainly would, too.

>> What are you doing?

Hey, what's the idea of that?

>> Well, I don't want everyone to know how generous I am.

>> Oh, how much you gonna give me for the cow?

>> What, you're asking money for that wonderful animal?

I was gonna give you beans.

>> What do I want with beans?

>> What do you want with my magic beans?

I should have my head examined, hah, for trying to make you rich.

Money you're asking for, eh?

I'll give you money, worthless money.

How much you want?

Any price at all, how much?

>> Now, wait a minute, Mr. Dinklepuss.

I, I don't want that worthless money.

Either I get the magic beans, or I take Henry home.

>> Oh, you you strike a hard bargain, boy.

>> No beans, no cow.

>> Well, I know when I'm licked.

Come on out in the garden.

I keep my beans hidden out there.

Come on.

>> Magic beans.

You've gotta get up awfully early in the morning to put anything over on me.

Come on, Henry.

Let's go, Henry.

Henry.

>> One, two, three, four.

Now, they must be around here someplace.

You've gotta keep them buried, you know.

You can't let the village know where these magic beans are they're priceless.

There they are, my magic beans.

Don't tell anybody that I gave them to you, will you?

>> Yes, sir.

>> Shh It's a secret.

But I'll never realize I'll never know how you ever talked me out of them.

>> Mr. Dinklepuss?

>> What?

>> Can I say goodbye to Henry?

>> Well, surely go ahead.

>> Alone?

>> Alone.

Go right ahead.

I gotta say goodbye now.

Be a good boy for Mr. Dinklepuss.

Do you mind if I kiss you goodbye, Henry?

(melancholic music) He is such a good pal.

>> Woman: The Princess, the giant has stolen the Princess.

(people murmuring) >> Henry, you hear what they're yelling?

The giant has kidnapped the Princess.

Goodbye, Henry.

>> Woman: The giant has stolen the Princess.

(storm rumbling) (cow mooing) Now, don't worry...

I've been robbed.

>> Mother, mother.

A terrible thing has happened.

>> Somebody swindled you out of our cow?

>> Oh, no, I made a nice deal for Henry.

But the giant kidnapped the Princess and is holding her for ransom.

>> Oh, the poor girl.

I'll gladly contribute the money you got for the cow.

>> Money?

Only a fool would take worthless money for such a valuable animal.

I got five magic beans.

>> Oh, Jack, why is it whenever I send you on an errand, you always do the wrong thing?

>> One, two, three, four, five magic beans.

Ain't I a smart boy for outsmarting the butcher?

>> You were, indeed.

Plant the beans, my boy.

Maybe they'll grow something that we can eat.

Mother.

>> Plant the beans, Jack.

>> I'll plant the beans.

I'll plant them.

(Jack humming) Oh, you're not ordinary beans, are you?

Please, beans, will you grow like magic beans, so I can prove to my mother and everybody else that I'm not addled brain, like they think I am?

Or am I?

Ah.

Oh, magic beans.

One, two, three, four, five.

Grow, please grow.

(orchestral music) Jack, will you please go to bed?

>> Yes, mother.

Please grow for me, magic beans, please.

(eerie music) (orchestral music) (puzzled music) Mother, mother!

(lively music) Mother!

>> Jack, what do you want?

>> Will you please get my mother?

>> I am your mother.

>> Mom, mother, look.

Look, the beanstalk.

(crowd chattering) My beanstalk, look at it.

It goes straight up in the sky.

I tell you all, I grew this beanstalk last night with with five beans that I planted.

Five magic beans.

>> Jack, dear, please stop repeating that nonsense.

>> Mother, this isn't nonsense, this is the truth.

>> Hey, are those the beans that I gave you for that cow that disappeared?

>> You mean, Henry ran away?

>> Yes, and I want my beans back.

>> Don't you dare disturb that beanstalk.

It might lead up to the giant's castle.

>> So what?

>> So what?

Maybe a brave boy will climb that beanstalk, and kill the giant, and save the Princess, and live happily ever after.

>> Oh, no, Jack.

The giant will kill you, like he did your poor father.

>> Have no fear, mother.

I'm gonna climb that beanstalk, and I'm gonna kill the giant and avenge my father.

And then I'm gonna save the Princess.

And while I'm up there, I'll look for our little Nellie.

>> You mean this boy had a sister?

You poor, unfortunate woman.

>> Oh, no, Nellie was our hen who laid the golden eggs.

>> A hen that lays a golden egg?

>> 14 karat.

>> Up there?

>> Oh, sure.

>> Well, let me help you, my boy.

>> Goodbye, Mother.

>> I'll go along with you.

>> Goodbye, Mother.

>> That's the boy.

Take your time, now.

There we go.

>> Goodbye, Mother.

>> Don't worry, Mrs. Strong.

He won't be back.

>> You don't understand.

He wasn't much, but he was all I had.

(lively music) ♪ There goes Jack, the reckless fool ♪ ♪ A-scooting up the beanstalk ♪ ♪ And with another fool ♪ ♪ Maybe tonight the two ♪ ♪ Will be bottling alcohool.

♪ ♪ There goes Jack, the village loon ♪ ♪ And almost up the beanstalk ♪ ♪ Scampering to the moon ♪ ♪ Doesn't know what he's doing ♪ ♪ He's hurrying into his ruin ♪ ♪ No giant finds it bothersome ♪ ♪ To grapple with a midget ♪ ♪ He'll pin Jack beneath his thumb ♪ ♪ And spank him with the digit ♪ ♪ Spank him with the digit ♪ (lively music) ♪ Jack and the beanstalk ♪ ♪ We'll long remember when ♪ ♪ He shimmied up the stalk ♪ ♪ And killed a giant in his den ♪ ♪ Once up the beanstalk if Jack is set upon ♪ ♪ Then Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, ♪ ♪ Or, Jack, you're good as gone ♪ ♪ Go go go go go ♪ ♪ There he goes ♪ ♪ There to where nobody knows ♪ ♪ Long is the beanstalk ♪ ♪ And short is little Jack ♪ ♪ The long and short of it is, is he ever coming back ♪ ♪ Jack and the beanstalk ♪ ♪ There goes, Jack ♪ ♪ But is Jack ever coming back ♪ ♪ I'll be back and when I reappear with the giant ♪ ♪ By the beard ♪ ♪ You will tell the kids ♪ ♪ The legend of the famous giant-killer, Jack ♪ ♪ Jack and the beanstalk ♪ ♪ Jack and the beanstalk ♪ (lively music) (orchestral music) >> Come on, Mr. Dinklepuss.

Give me your hand.

>> Ooh!

Take it easy.

>> Let's go.

The giant!

>> I'm the butcher.

>> Well, cut me up.

Mr. Dinklepuss.

>> What?

>> The giant's castle.

>> What?

Hey, you're right.

Look at it.

(zestful orchestral music) Come on, we're in giant land.

>> Wait a minute.

Look at those footprints.

>> Dinklepuss: Uh-oh.

We must be getting close to the giant.

>> Come on.

Mr. Dinklepuss.

>> Now, wait a minute.

Are you sure that hen Nellie lays golden eggs?

>> Mm-hm.

>> 14 karat?

>> Uh-huh.

>> Well, then don't be afraid.

>> I won't.

>> Just follow me.

(eerie music) (giant growling) >> Wait a minute.

>> Hm?

>> Mr. Dinklepuss.

>> What's the matter?

>> How come your shadow is bigger than mine?

Well, the taller you are, the taller your shadow.

You see, that's a basic principle of mathematics.

>> I am shorter than you, therefore my shadow should be smaller than yours.

Mathematically, speaking, right?

>> Right, why?

>> My shadow was making a fool out of your mathematics.

>> Why, why, that's impossible.

That can't be your shadow.

>> No?

Well, watch this.

(playful music) >> Amazing.

>> Yeah, you think so?

>> Now watch this.

(playful music) >> Can you imagine that?

Now, if I didn't see this with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

It's absolute it's abs, hey, what the (stammers).

(lively music) >> Hey, Mr. Dinklepuss, you gotta look at this.

This is, this is terrific.

(playful music) Mr. Dinklepuss, Mr. Dinklepuss.

Uh-oh, I think he's afraid of my shadow.

Why be like me?

I'm brave, because ♪ I fear nothing ♪ ♪ when I am in the right ♪ ♪ Whoever pushes me around ♪ ♪ Will find me full of fight ♪ (orchestral music) ♪ I fear nothing when I do nothing wrong ♪ ♪ And so I toddle on my way ♪ ♪ And sing a merry song ♪ (orchestral music) ♪ I'll be defiant ♪ ♪ And be obstreperous ♪ ♪ If any giant should try to salt and pepper us ♪ ♪ And I'll rise up ♪ ♪ Up to my fullest height ♪ ♪ Cause I fear absolutely nothing ♪ ♪ When I'm in the right ♪ (orchestral music) ♪ A man believes what he believes ♪ ♪ And by these principles, a man must stand ♪ ♪ A time will come for rolled up sleeves ♪ ♪ And it might help to have a fist on hand ♪ ♪ If I believe that I am right ♪ ♪ There's only one thing to be done ♪ ♪ I don't go looking for a fight ♪ ♪ But I have never run away from one ♪ ♪ But only fools will take a dare ♪ ♪ And there are thing that only fools defy ♪ ♪ If you smell trouble in the air ♪ ♪ I'll hold my breath until the breeze blows by ♪ ♪ I'll snort defiance like some rhinoceros ♪ ♪ Afraid of giants ♪ ♪ Now, isn't that preposterous ♪ ♪ I find courage a thing of great delight ♪ ♪ Sing, filiae and filii ♪ ♪ With steady hand and steely eye ♪ ♪ I fear nothing when I am in the right ♪ (lively orchestral music) (Jack crying) (bear growling) (giant growling) >> How did you get here before me?

>> I made a new path through the forest.

>> Did you see what I saw?

Did you see that giant?

He's as big as the trees.

Please, why did you ever talk me into this thing?

>> I didn't talk you into this.

>> Now, listen, you know my reputation in the village.

You know I had to listen to you.

Why did I ever let you do it?

Why did you do it?

>> Look >> Don't stand there with your mouth wide open, say something.

>> Mr. Dinklepuss, I'm up here to save the Princess.

>> The Princess?

>> We gotta save her.

>> You're right.

The Princess.

>> There's the castle.

Let's go.

>> Come on, I, what am I doing?

Go ahead.

>> Thank you.

Oh, it's beautiful.

But it's a trifle too small for me.

>> A trifle, she says.

Glory be thy due, I knew why the master keeps a wench like you around.

>> He likes my cooking.

And I don't wanna hear another word out of you.

>> Her cooking.

Can you make an Irish stew?

Can you boil a potato like my poor mother used to boil them?

>> I can put you back in the cupboard, if you don't shut up.

>> And I can tell the master you never put the Princess in her cell, like he told you to.

>> You win this time.

>> Patrick always wins.

♪ Come back to Erin, mavourneen, mavourneen ♪ Ah, 'tis in fine voice I am today.

>> I still can't believe that harp talks.

>> He talks too much.

>> How do I look?

>> Ready to be locked up.

>> Well, do I have to be?

>> Orders, me dainty beauty, orders.

>> Unfortunately, he's right.

(guitar music) >> Music, in a dungeon like this?

>> Arthur: Thank you for calling it music, whoever you may be.

>> Who is he?

>> A troubadour the giant picked up yesterday.

>> Who are you?

>> Just a girl from the village below.

>> What's your name?

>> Um, Darlene.

>> Are you as pretty as your name?

My guess is, yes.

(guitar music) >> That's a nice melody.

Are there words to it?

>> Not yet, but there can be by tonight.

What will you be doing?

>> What did you have in mind?

>> A rendezvous in the garden.

I'll speak to the giant about it.

>> Giant: Fee, fie, fo, fum.

I smell the blood of an Englishman.

Be he alive or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

>> Mister, if I'm too heavy for you, I'd easily walk.

>> Me, too.

(giant laughing) (Jack laughing) (door knocking) >> Giant: Open the door.

>> Take me with you.

(giant laughing) >> Open the door!

Open the door!

Open!

(door knocking) Here's some extra help for the kitchen.

>> You're a little one, aren't you?

>> But I grow on people.

(Jack sneezes) >> Bless you, me boy, bless you.

>> Who said that?

>> What do you know, a talking harp.

>> You said that?

>> I said, bless you.

And I'm sorry, now that I see your silly little face a bit closer.

Thank you, master.

'Tis a sight for sore eyes it is, yeah.

>> Thank you, Patrick.

Well, I'm off to hunt in the forest.

>> Will you want any supper?

>> Just a midnight snack.

>> Anyone we know?

>> Could be.

(Jack crying) What's the matter with you?

>> You hear that?

>> I hope it's not me.

(Jack crying) >> Well, what's the matter with you?

>> You're standing on my foot.

>> Ah.

>> Come with me.

I'll show you what you're supposed to do.

>> Yeah, you show me, and I'll show him.

>> Make the little fat one work till his back breaks.

How I love the sound of cracking bones.

>> You're a bad harp, and you're gonna have a bad end.

>> Sticks and stones, sticks and stones.

>> All right, blabbermouth, into the cupboard you go.

>> Don't you dare put me in that dark cupboard again.

Don't you dare.

A thousand curses on you.

Well, I'll have my revenge.

♪ Come back to Erin, mavourneen, mavourneen ♪ A thousand curses on you, master.

>> That harp had very bad bringing up.

>> You must be hungry would you like a glass of milk before supper's ready?

>> Thanks.

>> Thank you, Miss.

Or is it Mrs.?

>> It's Miss, why?

>> Well, when I look at you- >> Now, now, wait, now, now.

You're too young to go out with girls.

>> Yeah, but this might age me fast.

Here's to us.

>> Now, leave that alone.

>> I won't lose any of it.

>> Well, don't get hoggish!

>> All: To us.

>> Why, you sweep me off my feet.

>> I'd need a little help for that.

Well, here.

It's Henry's, she's here.

>> How do you know?

>> No other milk ever tasted this pleasant.

Where is she?

>> There's plenty of time for that.

But I have an idea how we can escape, if you're interested.

>> We're interested.

>> Not me.

Not unless I can take along the Princess.

>> Does she mean that much to you?

>> Oh, no.

You jealous?

You needn't be.

I promised my mother that I would return home with the Princess.

And after all, a boy's best mother is his friend.

Is that right?

>> No!

>> Your song's finished.

>> My song?

>> Arthur: Listen.

(guitar music) ♪ Darlene, my darling Darlene ♪ ♪ Darlene ♪ >> That's beautiful.

>> It's mush.

>> Jack.

>> Princess.

>> Shh Don't call me that.

>> What are you here, incognito?

>> Well, sort of.

There's a young man in the next cell, and I don't want him to know who I am.

>> Why not?

>> All my life, I've wanted someone to know me as me, not as Princess Eloise.

>> You have but to command, Your Highness.

>> Here, eat this.

That will make you good and strong, so we can sail you over the wall.

>> Sail me over the wall?

>> Yes, we're gonna build catapults out in the garden, and the housekeeper, she thought of it.

She's on our side.

>> Oh, wonderful.

You don't suppose she'd let us out tonight for a rendezvous in the garden?

>> Princess, I didn't think that you cared for me.

>> Not you.

I meant the young man I told you about.

>> Oh.

Well, if I approve.

After all, I am one of your royal subjects, and I do so wanna see our princess go out with the right fellow.

Goodbye, Your Highness.

Oh!

Ow.

Prince Arthur, I wondered what happened to you.

>> Say, aren't you the young fellow with the cow?

>> I'm alone now.

Here's your supper.

>> I guess the Princess was disappointed when I didn't show up at the wedding.

>> I never saw a girl cry so much in her life.

>> What are you whispering for?

>> I don't want the girl in the other cell to know I'm a prince.

>> You don't?

>> No, um, look, you seem to have some influence around here.

You don't suppose you could- >> Let you out tonight, so you could have a rendezvous in the garden?

>> How did you know?

>> It's a secret.

But first of all, I'll have to get you some other clothes, because the clothes you have on make you look too much like a prince, Prince.

Your Highness, excuse me.

I'm sorry.

(Jack screams) >> What have you decided?

>> Well, his parents don't have the background of yours, but he's a wonderful fellow, and your loyal subject approves.

>> Why, thank you, Jack.

>> I just got through telling the housekeeper, and I'm gonna tell you.

>> What's on your mind?

>> The Prince is not the Prince, and the Princess is not the Princess.

>> Then who are they?

>> Just a boy and girl and love.

Tonight, I want you to order a full moon, and keep the stars shining bright.

History is gonna be made tonight.

>> Princess.

>> Mr. Dinklepuss, I just got through telling you, she's not the Princess.

She's Darlene.

Aren't you, Princess?

>> Are these the catapults?

>> Yes, this is my own creation.

You see, all you have to do is get on here, I cut the rope, and zoom, you go right over the wall.

>> Will it work?

>> She's asking me, will it work?

(both chuckling) >> I'm asking you, too.

Will it work?

>> Will it work?

Get on here, Jack.

>> Wait a minute.

Is this dangerous?

>> Well, it's far too dangerous for a human being, but get on here.

I'll show you whether it'll work or not.

>> Wait a minute.

Too dangerous?

Much too dangerous for a human being?

Come, Princess I mean, Darlene.

>> Oh, it's a lovely night to be somebody else.

Tell me, what's he like?

>> He sings very pretty.

>> Oh, I know, but shall I, shall I let him kiss me, if he tries?

>> Oh, Princess, why not?

>> Jack!

>> He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

>> Arthur: Stop right there.

Don't take a chance.

>> You're.

>> And you're.

>> That's right.

>> Is it?

>> I didn't expect somebody so.

>> Neither did I.

>> Won't you- >> Sit down?

>> Thank you, I will.

>> Would I be bold if I.

>> If you put your arm around me?

♪ There's a dreamer's cloth that dreamers weave ♪ ♪ A tapestry ♪ ♪ Of make believe ♪ ♪ A fine brocade of all your schemes ♪ ♪ Exquisite fabric from the mill of dreams ♪ ♪ The threads are golden, of silken strands ♪ ♪ But not to hold in these eager hands ♪ ♪ Maybe if someday our arms entwine ♪ ♪ we'll weave a dreamer's cloth ♪ ♪ That's yours and mine ♪ ♪ If only dreamers' cloth ♪ ♪ Were yours and mine ♪ (lovely orchestral music) >> He's kissing her.

I mean, she's kissing him.

(lively orchestral music) They're in love.

>> Dance?

>> Yes.

(lively orchestral music) (Jack whistling) (Jack whimpering) What are you doing with a hammer?

>> What am I doing with a hammer?

I'm gonna tap every one of those hens till I find the one that lays the golden egg.

Polly want a cracker?

>> No, I'm sick and tired of that line.

(cork crowing) (hen clucking) >> Mr. Dinklepuss?

>> Yes.

>> Did you find Nellie yet?

>> Not yet.

Have you got that chicken food mixed up yet?

>> Oh, it will be soon.

And wait till you see the eggs they lay.

>> Well, hurry up.

I've got to get to the catapults.

(hen clucking) >> I'm a little farm boy.

I'm one guy that knows how to mix this food, Mr. Dinklepuss.

>> Well, feed the chickens.

>> I will.

(hen clucking) (Jack humming) >> Go ahead, feed it to them.

>> Okay, chickie, chickie, chickie, chickie.

(footsteps tapping) >> And a good, good morning to you, master.

Erin go Bragh.

>> Good morning, Harp.

Housekeeper, housekeeper!

Where's my breakfast?

>> On the way.

>> And bring me my favorite hen.

>> What, heaven forbid, do you see in that white-feathered biddy?

>> Golden eggs, Patrick.

Solid golden eggs.

>> The cells are unlocked, and I put the keys back.

>> Harp: They're whispering, master.

What are they whispering about?

>> Oh, I hate him.

>> Please, take care of yourself.

>> I think she's worried.

She cares for me.

>> Giant: Where's my breakfast?

>> Beautiful, they are.

But can they bring you happiness?

>> How'd that little one get in there?

Where's my breakfast?

>> You heard the giant.

Can I help you put them away?

>> Can I trust you?

>> Uh, why, what a ridiculous question.

>> Can I trust you?

>> Well, frankly, no.

(hen clucking) >> My jewel of jewels.

>> "My jewel of jewels."

What can she do that I can't do?

>> Can you lay a golden egg?

>> I shudder at the thought.

>> Show him how talented you are.

(hen clucking) Lay, hen, lay.

(hen clucking) >> Nellie.

>> It's only gold.

>> It's my main source of wealth.

Take her away.

You.

>> Yes, sir.

I like a dishonest man who admits it.

Carry these jewels back to the vault.

She'll show you where it is.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Do I or don't I get my breakfast?

>> Yes, sir.

>> A man could starve around here.

Make me a small omelet.

>> Two eggs?

>> Twenty two.

>> Twenty two.

Fresh laid this morning.

I fixed them special breakfast food myself.

(eggs exploding) (eggs exploding) (giant growling) >> Ah, you dumb.

What's all the shooting around here?

>> Don't ask me, ask the eggs.

>> Eggs don't explode.

>> Oh, no?

Get a load of this.

>> Ah, give it here.

(eggs exploding) (giant growling) You numskull.

I can't eat you ruined my appetite.

>> Oh, Mr.

Giant, you should eat something.

>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> No, no.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, no.

>> Oh.

>> No, no.

Mr. Dinklepuss!

Mr. Dinklepuss!

>> Aye, when the giant gets that in his stomach.

I'll go get the giant.

♪ Fee, fie, fo, fum, ♪ ♪ I smell the blood of an Englishman ♪ ♪ Be he alive or be he dead ♪ ♪ I'll grind his bones ♪ ♪ And make my bread ♪ >> Mr. Dinklepuss!

Mr. Dinklepuss!

Oh, Mr.

Giant, don't.

>> The Prince and the Princess, they're trying to escape.

>> Let them.

>> They've taken your jewels and your hen that lays the golden egg.

>> The scoundrels.

Keep him solid.

(orchestral music) (giant growing) Who's trying to steal my treasures?

>> We are, what about it?

(orchestral music) >> Nice work, Mr. Dinklepuss.

Hey, get everybody ready.

Get the catapults all set, and I'll take care of him.

>> Come on.

Polly, get the chains.

Come on, hurry up.

Hurry up, Polly.

I wanna get him all tied up.

(orchestral music) Hold him, Polly.

Hold him.

Hold my stuff, hold my stuff.

Thank you.

Okay, Polly.

Okay.

Go upstairs now.

I'll take care of him.

Oh, you still hurt.

Oh!

Oh, ow.

>> It's locked.

>> Come on, come on.

>> Why aren't you folks out in the garden?

>> The door's locked.

>> Well, where's the key?

>> The giant must have it.

It isn't with the rest of the keys.

>> Oh, how about the window?

>> It's too high.

>> Too high, too high.

Door's locked, window's too high.

Now what are gonna do?

>> Think, Jack, think.

>> I got it!

>> What?

>> You take Darlene.

Put her on the mantelpiece over the fireplace.

Hurry up, come on, quick!

Mr. Dinklepuss, you and Polly get under the chandelier.

>> Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

>> Get under the chandelier.

>> All right, all right.

>> Hurry up!

(orchestral music) >> Master, master, 'tis a black day, indeed.

>> You keep your mouth shut, or I'll cut you to ribbons!

Hey, hey, come here.

Now, look.

I'm gonna get the chandelier over here, I'm gonna put you on it and sail you right out the window.

And Darlene's coming next.

Now, you get it.

(orchestral music) Here you are.

Do be careful.

>> I'll try.

Come on, Mr. Dinklepuss, you're next.

>> I'll be right back.

I forgot a couple of things.

(orchestral music) (giant growling) >> Mr. Dinklepuss.

>> Why, you greedy boy.

What do you mean?

>> What are you doing with the giant's jewels and my Nellie?

>> Never mind that.

Swing me out of here.

>> Take your time.

There's no rush.

>> What do you mean?

(hen squawking) Shh, quiet, quiet, my little gold mine.

>> That's my Nellie.

Let me let me see the jewels.

>> Dinklepuss: Oh, no, they're mine, all mine.

I share them with no one.

I, I come a long ways with I... Uh-oh.

Oh.

>> Mr. Dinklepuss, I have not seen a face like that since I seen a pork chop in the window.

And you have no fear, Polly and I, we chained the giant up down in the dungeon.

He can't get away, because I left him... (Jack screaming) (giant snarling) Now, Mr.

Giant, if you come one step forward, I'll let you have it.

(giant growling) (orchestral music) >> Help me.

Thanks.

(giant snarling) (hen clucking) >> Mr. Dinklepuss, grab the chandelier and swing out the window.

Here it comes.

>> Are you all right?

>> Yes, I'm all right.

>> Come on, let's get to the catapults.

(giant snarling) (orchestral music) >> Hey, hey, you, hey!

(giant snarling) Whee!

(giant snarling) (Jack whistling) Hey, you!

(giant snarling) >> Please, Jack, hop on the mantel piece.

(giant snarling) >> Coward, pushing an innocent girl.

I will show you no mercy!

I will... (giant snarling) Hurry up, hurry up!

Wait a minute, I'm caught on something.

Wait a minute!

Hold it, wait a minute.

(sword clacking) (orchestral music) My sword!

(giant snarling) (giant snarling) I fear nothing when I'm in the right.

All aboard for the catapult express.

>> Well, cut the ropes.

No, no, no, no, not that one.

Cut those first, then cut yours.

But don't forget to get on.

>> Okay.

>> The more you take what?

>> Want me to help you with the jewels?

>> Oh, no, you don't.

They're mine, mine.

Cut the ropes.

(lively orchestral music) All right, give it.

Goodbye, Mr.

Giant, here I go.

(playful orchestral music) Mr. Dinklepuss!

Please, come down and get me, like a good little tree.

(giant growling) (giant snarling) (giant snarling) (eggs exploding) Mr. Dinklepuss, Mr. Dinklepuss!

The giant got me, oh.

My pain.

I'm too young to die.

>> Is this kid kidding?

(bird crowing) >> Mr. Dinklepuss, you gotta help me.

So I... (eggs exploding) That was a close one.

(walls crashing) Oh!

(giant snarling) (cow mooing) >> What about Jack?

>> I'm afraid he gave his life for us.

(lively orchestral music) Uh-oh!

(playful orchestral music) (eggs exploding) (hen clucking) (hen clucking) >> Look, I found a diamond.

>> Thanks.

>> All hail the King.

(zestful orchestral music) >> My daughter, oh, thank heaven you're safe.

>> She's the Princess, Princess Eloise?

>> Why, of course, Prince Arthur.

Doing in those clothes?

>> You're Prince Arthur?

>> Small world, isn't it?

>> I never want to speak to you again as long as I live.

Let us go, Father.

>> Darlene I mean, Eloise, what's the difference who we are, as long as we love each other.

>> You knew all the time a prince couldn't break an engagement.

>> And neither could a princess.

How are you going to get out of marrying Prince Arthur?

>> Well, how are you going to get out of marrying Princess Eloise?

>> But that's who you two are.

Don't you remember?

>> Where's my poor boy?

What's happened to Jack?

>> The last I saw him, he was dueling unto death with a giant.

Oh, but a braver lad never lived.

>> Ready or not, here I come!

(crowd chattering) Coming down!

>> There's your boy.

>> Come on here, boy.

>> Jack: I'm coming.

>> There's a hero if there ever was one.

You should see him.

Come on, boy.

>> Mother.

>> My boy, my boy!

>> Oh, Mother.

When am I gonna prove that I'm a man?

(lively orchestral music) >> Giant, a giant!

(crowd screaming) He's coming down!

(giant snarling) (crowd screaming) Come on, come on!

(ax cutting) (giant snarling) >> He went clear through to China.

(crowd sighing) (elated orchestral music) ♪ I wish the giant were alive ♪ ♪ Alive this very minute ♪ ♪ Look inside his grave ♪ ♪ And see how lovely he looks in it ♪ ♪ He's all laid out like a very good scout ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life ♪ ♪ We're happy to give the devil his due ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life ♪ ♪ We sing tra-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ Up-a-Ah ♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-La ♪ ♪ He's perpendicula-la-la.

♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-La ♪ (lively orchestral music) ♪ If he could only see him himself ♪ ♪ He wouldn't know the monster ♪ ♪ And if he knew him ♪ ♪ He would be the only one who wants to ♪ ♪ He met his doom ♪ ♪ He fell down and go boom ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life ♪ ♪ Someday, by gosh, he'll be a acres of squash ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life ♪ ♪ He fell on his way to bra-la-la-la.

♪ ♪ Up-a-Ah ♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-La ♪ ♪ He's perpendicula-la-la ♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-la-La ♪ (lively orchestral music) ♪ He's wearing several branches ♪ ♪ Of the beanstalk for a necktie ♪ ♪ I never seen a better-looking corpus delicti ♪ ♪ His toes and curled ♪ ♪ And he's out of this world ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life ♪ ♪ And there he lays to the end of his days ♪ ♪ And he never looked better in his life.

♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-La ♪ ♪ Up-a-Ah ♪ ♪ Tra-la-La ♪ ♪ He's perpendicula-la-la ♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-La ♪ ♪ A peaceful scene all around the village ♪ >> Come on, come on.

♪ And we owe it to Jack ♪ ♪ And the beanstalk ♪ ♪ Jack and the beanstalk ♪ ♪ We'll long remember when ♪ How you managed this, boy?

♪ He shimmied up the stalk ♪ ♪ To kill a giant in his den ♪ ♪ When you bounce the kiddies on your knees ♪ ♪ In the future nurseries ♪ Come on, come on.

♪ You will tell them all ♪ ♪ About the legend ♪ ♪ Of the giant-killer Jack ♪ (lively orchestral music) >> Okay, King, I'm waiting.

Crown me.

>> That's an odd request.

(pot crashing) >> Oh!

What's the matter with, you're the biggest racketeer kid I ever saw in my life!

(babysitter shouting) >> What happened?

>> Miss, your brother's the toughest kid I ever saw.

>> Hey, Dink, I had the most beautiful dream.

>> Dream?

Asleep on the job?

>> Oh.

Prince Arthur, princess Eloise, Mr. Dinklepuss!

>> Dinklepuss?

Are you all right?

>> Right?

Right?

♪ I fear nothing ♪ ♪ When I am in the right ♪ ♪ Whoever pushes me around ♪ ♪ Will find me full of fight ♪ (babysitter humming) (orchestral music)