(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED BY... (male announcer) THE DE BRUCE COMPANIES, PROUD TO SERVE AGRICULTURAL COMMUNITIES THROUGHOUT THE MIDWEST WITH HIGH-SPEED GRAIN HANDLING FACILITIES, FERTILIZER, AND FEED INGREDIENT DISTRIBUTION TERMINALS.

(male announcer) AND BY FRED & LOU HARTWIG, GENEROUS SUPPORTERS OF KCPT AND PUBLIC TELEVISION URGING YOU TO BECOME A MEMBER TODAY.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ WE'RE GONNA GO SEE ZOOMER'S TREASURES, ZOOMER'S TREASURES, HUH?

MARY SOUNDS LIKE A CHARACTER.

AND SHE'S DOWN ON 57?

AH, 171.

I DON'T SEE 171 ON THE MAP.

(Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, WHO LET THE WEASELS OUT?

HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE, STILL IN THE BACK OF A VAN, THOUGH IT'S A DIFFERENT BRAND, ROLLING DOWN THE BACK ROADS OF OUR GREAT LAND.

THIS IS THE RUTTING SEASON, SO WE'RE GONNA NEED SEPARATE MOTEL ROOMS.

OUR HAIR MAY BE GRAYER AND OUR EYESIGHT LESS KEEN, BUT OUR MISSION REMAINS THE SAME: FIND GREAT GRASSROOTS ART AND THINGS THAT MAKE US GO, "WHOO!"

ARE WE GONNA SEE BIG BRUTUS AGAIN?

[groans] (Don) WELL, MAYBE NOT BRUTUS, BUT HOW ABOUT BIG BERTHA?

THAT'S WHAT MARY FENOGLIO, AKA ZOOMER, CALLS HER OVERSIZED POSSUM-BELLY BUREAU, THE ONE SHE PUT OUT FRONT OF HER FLEA MARKET TURNED FURNITURE STORE, THE ONE SHE KIND OF HOPES WILL DRAW IN SOME TRAFFIC.

(Mary) WELL, NOBODY EVER STOPS.

THEY USED TO, BUT THE MINUTE YOU TAKE A FLEA MARKET SIGN DOWN, THEY QUIT, YOU KNOW?

I MADE THE FENCE THINKING THAT IF PEOPLE WENT BY THAT THEY WOULD THINK THAT, "MAN, SURELY IT'S NOT AN OLD MAN IN THERE.

"SURELY IT'S A WOMAN.

LOOK AT THIS ARTWORK OUT HERE."

I THOUGHT, "SURELY THEY'LL COME IN AND SEE THAT THIS PLACE MIGHT BE DIFFERENT."

THEN I COLLECT GRANITEWARE.

SO I PUT ALL THAT GRANITEWARE ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING.

WHY, THEY'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO CLIMB UP THERE AND GET ONE PAN DOWN OR ONE CUP DOWN.

SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME THE STOVE LADY WHEN THEY'RE NOT CALLING ME OTHER THINGS.

SOMETIMES I OPEN, AND TEN MINUTES LATER, I HURRY UP AND CLOSE THAT GATE.

HAVE YOU GOT A SACK I CAN PUT OVER MY HEAD?

'CAUSE I MAY HYPERVENTILATE HERE PRETTY QUICK.

I HAD BOUGHT THIS COCA-COLA THING.

I WAS GONNA MAKE A LOVESEAT OUT OF IT, AND THEN I GOT HURT, AND THEN I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR QUITE A WHILE.

SO I THOUGHT, "WELL, I'LL MAKE ME A LITTLE BOTTLE TREE."

AND THEN I WAS TOLD AFTER I BUILT IT THAT IT WARDS OFF EVIL.

BUT IT DOESN'T WORK.

THEY STILL COME IN.

[laughs] THIS I TRADED FOR A HORSE TRAILER PLUMB FULL OF CHAIRS OUT OF TULSA, HAD NEVER BEEN PUT TOGETHER, AND THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.

NOW, THE WHISKEY BARREL LIDS OVER THERE, THERE WAS A SEMI HAD A WRECK IN SPRINGFIELD.

SO THERE'S TWO LITTLE PICKUP LOADS OF THEM THERE.

(Randy) SO PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS COMING OUT THINKING THEY CAN BUY SOME OF THIS.

AND THEY COME RIGHT HERE AND WANT THIS, AND I TELL 'EM, "HEY, WHOA, THIS IS MY SON AND MINE'S HOME DEPOT," 'CAUSE MY SON COMES UP AND GETS STUFF, 'CAUSE HE DOES STUFF.

SO IF I WANTED THIS-- THEY'LL PICK THIS UP, AND THEY'LL SAY, "WELL, YOU DON'T NEED THIS ONE."

THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY.

YEAH, AND I GO, "WELL, I MIGHT."

WELL, I MEAN, I DON'T MEAN TO BE SELFISH, BUT THESE ARE ALL GONNA BE SOMETHING SOMEDAY, BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T APPRECIATE LIKE I'M GONNA APPRECIATE IT, AND THEN IT'LL LIVE ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT.

(Randy) WHEN'D YOU START-- I MEAN, YOU STARTED MAKING COLLAGE FURNITURE.

(Mary) I DIDN'T START MAKING IT TILL ALMOST FOUR YEARS AGO, AND THE DOCTOR THAT DID MY NECK SURGERY-- WHEN HE REMOVED THREE DISCS OUT OF MY NECK AND HE COULDN'T FUSE IT BECAUSE IT WOULD PARALYZE ME, SO MY NECK'S NOT FUSED IN THE BACK.

HE SAID, "NOW, I KNOW THE TYPE OF LADY YOU ARE, "YOU'LL DO THIS, "BUT YOU HAVE TO STAY VERY ACTIVE, OR YOU WILL BE IN A WHEELCHAIR."

WELL, THE ONLY WHEELCHAIR I'D EVER BE IN-- IF IT HAD A V-8 ON IT, I MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT.

SO I JUST--AND I'VE ALWAYS HAD A WILD IMAGINATION.

SO I JUST CREATED MY FURNITURE FOR ME.

SO WHEN THEY COME IN AND GO, "EWW, I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING IN HERE."

AND I TELL 'EM, "I DON'T CARE.

"I DO IT FOR ME.

"MAYBE YOU NEED TO GO TO WAL-MART.

"THEY'RE OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY.

LEAVE ME ALONE."

AS YOU CAN SEE WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY FURNITURE, I LOVE DOORS, AND IF I USE A DOOR-- LIKE, THERE'S A DOOR ON THE BACK OF THIS-- UH-HUH.

THEN I ONLY NEED TWO LEGS FOR THE FRONT, AND THAT MAKES MY JOB A LITTLE EASIER, AND THAT'S WHY I USE A DOOR.

HERE'S WHAT I MADE OUT OF THOSE BROKEN WHISKEY BARREL LIDS.

I CALL 'EM MY CACTUS TABLE.

CACTUS TABLE?

UH-HUH, SEE, BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE CACTUSES DOWN HERE.

AND THIS IS FROM A WHISKEY BARREL.

I USED TO HAVE SHELVING IN HERE, AND THEN WHEN I QUIT MY FLEA MARKET, I NEEDED ROOM FOR MY FURNITURE.

SO I JUST STARTED STUFFING IT.

AND I'M NOT LAYING ON THE COUCH, DRAWING DISABILITY.

I'M TRYING TO HELP MYSELF, BECAUSE I'M FROM THE OLD SCHOOL, AND THIS IS MY MEDICATION.

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE, WHAT LITTLE BIT I HAVE LEFT.

(Randy) COME ON OUT WITH THAT LADDER OF YOURS.

OKAY, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW I HAVE TO GET UP HERE.

NOW, DON'T YOU GUYS TAKE MY LADDER WHEN I GET UP THERE, BECAUSE I'LL REALLY BE MAD WHEN I GET DOWN.

I GOT TO GET SOME CUSTOMERS SOMEHOW, AND I MIGHT WANT TO BE ADOPTED.

I'M WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ADOPT ME.

WHAT WILL YOUR HUSBAND THINK OF THAT?

(Mary) WELL, HE'LL LIKE IT, BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO BE ADOPTED AND BUILD FURNITURE FOR SOMEBODY THAT HAS A FABULOUS STORE SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY FROM HERE THAT THEY'LL LIKE MY STUFF.

AND SO HE'LL LIKE IT, BECAUSE IF I MAKE A DOLLAR, I'LL GIVE HIM PART OF IT.

(Don) NOW, FOR THE RECORD, WE DID NOT TAKE MARY'S LADDER, BUT WITH HER BLESSINGS, WE DID GRAB A CHAIR LEG OR TWO BEFORE MOTORING ON TO THE BEST KNOWN HIGHWAY IN AMERICA, THE STRETCH OF OLD ROUTE 66 THAT CROSSES S.E.K.

PAST EISLER BROTHERS GROCERY IN RIVERTON, OVER THIS PICTURESQUE BRIDGE NEARBY, AND ON TO MAIN STREET, BAXTER SPRINGS, WHERE THE OLD CORNER BANK NOW HOUSES THE CAFE ON THE ROUTE, FEATURING FINE FOOD SERVED BY FINE FOLKS WHO HAPPEN TO LIKE THIS SHOW.

COULD BE THE LAST GOOD MEAL I'LL GET ON THIS TRIP.

OH, BOY.

(Randy) NOTHING'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU, SIR.

(Don) SURE ENOUGH, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THERE'S FOOD AND DRINK COMING AT US FROM EVERY DIRECTION.

THERE'S CHICKEN AND CATFISH... THAT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CAT.

(Don) STEAK FOR THE MEAT LOVERS, AND VEGGIE BURGERS TOO.

WHOO.

DID I MENTION DESSERT?

COMING IN COPIOUS QUANTITIES WHICH WE CANNOT RESIST.

AFTER SUCH SERIOUS STUFFING, THE LEAST WE COULD DO IS OFFER AMY A MOMENT WITH OUR OWN WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

HOW HEAVY IS IT?

(Don) THE BIG BALL NEVER FAILS TO IMPRESS.

SO WITH BELLIES BULGING, WE RESUMED THE DRIVING PORTION OF THIS SHOW.

DESTINATION: INDEPENDENCE, THE TOWN THAT GAVE US AN INGE AND TURNED HALLOWEEN UPSIDE DOWN.

(Mike) GETTING READY FOR NEEWOLLAH.

(Don) BUT NEITHER OF THOSE NOR LADY LIBERTY HERSELF ARE WHY WE'RE HERE.

WE'VE COME FOR MONKEY ISLAND.

LISTEN UP, KIDS.

YOU MIGHT JUST LEARN A LITTLE HISTORY HERE AT THE RALPH MITCHELL ZOO.

(Mike) IN THE 1950s, WHEN AMERICA WAS LAGGING BEHIND THE GODLESS COMMUNISTS, WE CHOSE A CHIMP TO GO INTO SPACE.

THE FIRST NONCOMMUNIST PRIMATE WAS RIGHT HERE AT THE INDEPENDENCE ZOO AND WHISKED INTO SPACE.

MISS ABLE.

BUT THERE'S A SAD-- THERE'S A SAD ENDING TO THIS STORY, RIGHT?

LET'S TELL THE WHOLE TALE.

WE KILLED THE MONKEY.

THE MONKEY DIED.

(Don) NO, IT WASN'T FOUL PLAY, JUST SOME EARTHBOUND INFECTION THAT DID IN MISS ABLE.

BUT THE ZOO'S STILL GOING STRONG WITH SOME NEW BRANDS BROUGHT IN TO SPRUCE UP THE CASTLE.

(Randy) BUT REALLY-- (Mike) HEY, BUDDY.

(Randy) IT'S AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR PAST.

WOULD THAT APOLLO 13 MOVIE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BE MADE IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR MISS ABLE?

WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FAKE THAT MOON LANDING IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR MISS ABLE?

(Don) HOW ABOUT PLANET OF THE APES?

SO MUCH MONKEY BUSINESS, SO LITTLE TIME, AND RANDY SAYS WE'RE LATE FOR A DATE IN ALTOONA.

SO IT'S BACK IN THE VAN, HEADED NORTH, AND THIS IS APPARENTLY WHY.

AS YOU MIGHT GUESS, THE PRAIRIE NUT HUT ISN'T KNOWN FOR ITS CASHEWS AND FILBERTS.

AS A NONCARNIVORE, I AM NOW OFFICIALLY APPALLED.

BUT THESE TWO PRODUCERS SHOW NO QUALMS ABOUT DIVING IN TO THE DEEP END.

HMM, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

(Don) THE GOOD NEWS, I GUESS, IS THAT WE CAN'T STAY LONG, NOT WITH ONE LAST SIGHT TO SEE BEFORE THE DAY IS DONE, AND THAT SIGHT'S IN BEAUMONT, JUST A SPECK ON THE MAP, BUT A SPECK WITH A CLAIM, AND THAT CLAIM WOULD BE THE STATE'S LAST WOODEN WATER TOWER.

(Mike) ♪ THERE'S A LITTLE HOTEL CALLED THE SHADY REST AT THE JUNCTION ♪ (Don) MIKE FEELS A SONG COMING ON, THERE'S PARASAILERS STARTING TO DESCEND, AND THAT LOVELY FLINT HILLS LIGHT IS JUST ABOUT GONE.

BEWARE OF FALLING POSTCARDS.

WELL, LIKE THE SONG SAYS, WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES.

NOTE THE OMINOUS SKY.

AND SPEAKING OF DIFFERENCES, THERE'S THOSE TEN YEARS AGAIN.

AND THOUGH MUCH HAS CHANGED, WE'RE STILL TRYING TO DECIDE IF THAT'S WINTER WHEAT OUT THERE OR NOT, AND TODAY'S THE DAY WE MIGHT FINALLY FIND OUT HERE IN GOESSEL AT A PLACE THAT PAYS TRIBUTE TO IT, A PLACE WITH A GENUINE REPLICA OF THE LIBERTY BELL WOVEN IN WHEAT.

YOO-HOO.

(Don) ONLY, ONCE AGAIN, IT APPEARS OUR RESEARCH MAY HAVE BEEN FAULTY.

AT LEAST THIS TIME, OTHERS WERE FOOLED BY THE FINE PRINT TOO.

(Randy) SO YOU'RE THINKING, THOUGH, THAT WE COULD FIND SOMEBODY?

I THINK THAT YOU HAVE MAYBE A 50-50 CHANCE OF DOING THAT, AND IT'D BE WORTH IT.

IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE YOU VERY LONG TO FIND THE SOCIAL CENTER OF GOESSEL.

(Don) WELL, EVERYONE'S A PRODUCER, BUT BEATING THE BUSHES IN THIS RAIN IS LOSING ITS LUSTER QUICKLY.

SO IT'S OFF TO MCPHERSON TO WAIT OUT THE STORM, WHEN WHAT SHOULD WE SPY BUT SOME WIZARDRY IN WOOD THAT BEARS THE MARK OF WICHITA'S OWN GINO SALERNO.

(Mike) COULD BE ELLE MACPHERSON.

I THINK SHE HAD AN EARLY CAREER AS A SCHOOLTEACHER.

I'M PRETTY SURE OF THAT.

I COULD FACT-CHECK THAT FOR YOU, BUT WHAT'D BE THE POINT?

(Don) WELL, CHECKING FACTS WOULD CERTAINLY SLOW THIS SHOW DOWN, AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.

BUT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THE SKY'S CLEARING, AND WE'RE BACK ON 56 HEADED FOR ELLINWOOD, A TOWN THAT ON THE SURFACE SEEMS PRETTY NORMAL, BUT UNDERGROUND, THAT'S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY.

(James) THE TUNNELS ORIGINALLY WENT THE FULL TWO BLOCKS OF MAIN STREET ON BOTH SIDES.

IN THIS BUILDING, WE SEE A BARBERSHOP, A BATHHOUSE, AND A HARNESS SHOP THAT ACTUALLY EXISTED IN 1890.

BUT WHY WOULD YOU BUILD YOUR TOWN UNDER THE GROUND?

THIS WAS PART OF THE HERITAGE OF THE PEOPLE THAT MOVED HERE FROM THE MUNICH AREA IN GERMANY.

THEY HAD THE THING OVER THERE, AND THEY HAD TO CONSERVE SPACE, SO THEY JUST BROUGHT THE IDEA WITH 'EM.

WELL, YOU WANT TO GO ON DOWN INTO THE TUNNELS?

ARE YOU READY?

(Mike) YOU BET.

OKAY.

THE BUSINESSES IN THE BASEMENT OF THESE BUILDINGS WERE MAINLY MALE-ORIENTED BUSINESSES.

THERE WERE THREE DOCUMENTED HOUSES OF PROSTITUTION IN ELLINWOOD, AND WE HAD A BREWERY.

SO THIS WAS A PARTY TOWN.

THIS IS THE BLACKSMITH'S SHOP, THE HARNESS SHOP.

THIS ONE HAS A DIRT FLOOR.

THE ONE NEXT DOOR HAS A WOOD FLOOR.

THIS BUILDING UP HERE WAS A BANK AT ONE TIME.

NOW, THAT SIDE WAS THE PASSAGEWAY.

THIS SIDE OVER HERE WAS STORAGE, COLD STORAGE PRIMARILY.

NOW, THIS WAS A WINDOW, AND THESE WINDOWS WENT UP ABOVE THE SIDEWALK SO THAT THEY COULD RAISE THE-- LOWER THE PANE FROM THE TOP.

THE FOUNDATIONS OF THESE BUILDINGS ARE ALL HANDCUT LIMESTONE.

NICELY HANDCUT.

[knocks on door] THIS IS WILLIAM JUNG'S BARBER SHOP.

IN BARBER SHOPS, THEY TREATED PEOPLE WITH LEECHES AND VARIOUS THINGS.

HE, IN HIS ADVERTISEMENT HERE, ALSO REMOVED TONSILS.

AND THESE--THESE PIT MARKS IN THE PLASTER HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BULLET HOLES.

THIS IS THE BATHHOUSE, AND THESE ARE THE COWBOY BATHTUBS.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET IN, YOU MAY DO THAT.

(Mike) OKAY, COOKIE, WOULD YOU LOUVER ME?

(James) OH, ALL KINDS OF SERVICES WERE RENDERED HERE, I'M SURE.

(Mike) LET'S NOT GET TOO GRAPHIC.

(James) THAT'S--NO, I'D RATHER NOT.

(Mike) YOU KNOW, WE HAD A CHOICE OF MAYBE GOING TO THE NEW SALT MINE MUSEUM IN HUTCHINSON OR HERE, AND I AM SO GLAD WE CHOSE THIS.

(Randy) IT'S VERY UNIQUE.

(James) VERY UNIQUE.

IT'S NOT THAT THEY DIDN'T EXIST IN OTHER TOWNS; IT'S JUST THAT THEY DIDN'T SURVIVE.

THIS IS 99% PURE.

(Don) SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD LINE TO LEAVE ON, AND THAT'S JUST WHAT WE'LL DO, THOUGH THE RIDE TO GREAT BEND IS JUST A SHORT ONE.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A MAN WHOSE WELDED WORK WE'VE HEARD ABOUT FOR YEARS, AND SURE ENOUGH, THERE'S THAT FAMOUS BOB MIX WAVE GUIDING US IN.

(Bob) THIS THING IS A XIPHACTINUS.

IT'S A PREHISTORIC FISH THAT LIVED 2 1/2 MILLION YEARS AGO.

SEE THAT?

I THOUGHT THAT HE SHOULD HAVE-- LIVE IN SOME SEAWEED, AND THAT JUST KIND OF GREW.

IT WENT FROM HERE, WENT THROUGH THIS HOLE HERE, AND IT GREW OUTSIDE HERE TO HELP BUILD THE CARRIAGE THAT IT RIDES IN.

EACH ONE OF THE LITTLE SPIKES ON IT WERE HAMMERED OUT WITH A HAMMER, AND YOU FLATTEN THEM OUT A LITTLE BIT, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THE BONES WORK.

AND THE TEETH-- THE TEETH ARE REALLY COOL.

IT TAKES A WHILE TO GET IT FROM HERE TO HERE, YOU KNOW, BUT IT DOES COME.

THIS IS THIS BIRD HERE.

IT'S CALLED A HESPERORNIS.

AND WE MADE THAT DARN THING, AND IT GOT PRETTY COTTON PICKING CLOSE.

I'D SAY, ONCE AGAIN, YOU'VE NAILED IT, SO TO SPEAK.

(Bob) THIS FOOT WAS MADE FIRST.

AND THEN YOU ADD THIS BONE HERE AND THEN THIS BONE HERE, AND THEN THEY CONNECT UP HERE.

THESE ARE REALLY TEDIOUS 'CAUSE THEY-- EACH ONE OF THESE IS ONE PIECE OF PIPE.

AND WHEN YOU CUT IT IN TWO, YOU GOT BURRS ON THIS SIDE AND BURRS ON THIS SIDE.

LOOK HOW MANY YOU HAD TO CLEAN.

[laughing] AND ALL I HAD TO START OFF WITH WAS THE BLOWERS AND THE REAR WHEEL AND THIS WHEEL HERE, AND I SAID, "WELL, WE'LL JUST BUILD THIS THING."

SO I KEPT GOING AND BUILDING AND BUILDING AND ADDING STUFF ON IT AND TAKING IT OUT IN PARADES AND THINGS LIKE THIS HERE.

IT'S A REAL SUPERSONIC ESPRESSO-POWERED BUG SUCKER.

[laughs] THIS THING HERE IS CALLED-- WELL, IT WAS CALLED THE CHARIOT OF THE GODS.

[imitates whip cracking] I'M FEELING-- I'M FEELING HUR.

(Randy) SO, BOB, ARE YOU A MOVIE FAN?

DID SOME OF THIS COME FROM WATCHING OLD MOVIES?

WHAT KIND OF THINGS STRIKE YOUR FANCY?

(Bob) I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S A HARD ONE TO ANSWER.

I BELIEVE IN REALITY, THOUGH, AND I BELIEVE IN GETTING WHAT'S IN YOUR MIND OUT IN FRONT OF YOU JUST SO YOU HAVE A VISION, AND YOU JUST DO IT TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY AND PUT IT TOGETHER AND JUST MAKE THIS THING WORK.

WELL, I GOT STUFF OVER HERE.

THESE ARE SOME OF THE TROPHIES I'VE MADE.

BUT ANYWAY, THIS IS THE-- THIS IS THE FAMILY TREE.

THIS STARTED OUT WITH ME AND MOM, AND HERE IS THE FAMOUS BOB MIX WAVE.

THAT'S HOW THAT COME ABOUT.

THE ONLY REAL TROUBLE THAT I'VE GOT WITH THIS THING IS, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDKIDS, WHEN THESE KIDS START HAVING KIDS?

(Mike) WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO PUT A FAMILY TREE OUT FRONT?

I HAD EXTRA TIRES IN MY YARD.

(Randy) THE FAMOUS BOB MIX WAVE.

(Bob) YEAH.

[laughs] (Randy) ANY RELATION TO TOM MIX, BOB?

YEAH, WE'RE 82ND COUSIN.

MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD US THAT WE WAS COUSINS.

[laughs] WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY LAUGH?

PRETTY, ISN'T IT?

(Don) I LIKE IT.

I DON'T KNOW.

(Don) NOW BOB AND HIS BETTER HALF, BEV, WEREN'T ABOUT TO LET US LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED.

THOUGH CHIROPRACTICALLY SPEAKING, THIS IS THE KIND OF GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING.

JUST LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

(Don) WE MADE OUR MIX MOBILE AND HEADED OFF AGAIN.

EVEN WITH DAYLIGHT DIMMING, WE'RE DOING LUCAS FOR A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME GARDEN PARTY.

YES, SP DINSMOOR'S MASTERPIECE IN CONCRETE IS TURNING 100, WITH OLD SP HIMSELF SOMEHOW DOING THE TOURS.

I SAY, HAND ME ONE OF THOSE TEMPTATION ALES.

THIS CAMERA GUY IS OFF THE CLOCK.

[playing upbeat swing music] ♪ ♪ OH, THAT'S CUTE.

(Don) NOW, CHARMING AS LUCAS MAY BE, IT IS SOMEWHAT SHORT ON ACCOMMODATIONS.

SO WE ACCOMMODATED FOR THE NIGHT HERE AT THE MIDLAND, WHERE MUCH OF PAPER MOON WAS FILMED.

DID I MENTION IT'S CLOSE TO THE TRACKS?

VERY CLOSE TO THE TRACKS.

BUT LET'S PUT THAT BEHIND US AND LOOK TO THE FUTURE IN A TOWN THAT JUST MAY BE THE FOLK ART CAPITAL OF THE UNIVERSE.

WHAT WITH THE "G" OF "E," FLORENCE DEEBLE'S ROCK GARDEN, THE GRASSROOTS ART CENTER, AND NOW A WORLD'S LARGEST TOO RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF TOWN.

(Erika) WE DID GET A NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS GRANT FOR RECYCLED MATERIAL SCULPTURES IN AND THROUGH LUCAS, AND WE ALL PUT IN PROPOSALS.

THE COMMUNITY MEMBERS VOTED ON THEM.

THEY DECIDED THE TRAVEL PLATE WAS A GOOD IDEA, AND IT COMMEMORATES THE PARTS AND PIECES OF LUCAS.

THERE'S BEEN NEW STUFF IN THE LAST TWO YEARS.

THE ART CENTER IS STILL GUNG-HO WITH PROJECTS AND STARTING NEW PROJECTS.

WORLD'S LARGEST THINGS IS NOW A NONPROFIT INSTITUTION, SO A NEW MUSEUM IS CENTERED IN LUCAS, AND THIS IS THE HOME BASE FOR TRAVELING.

(Randy) SEE, THIS LOOKS PRETTY STATIONARY.

I'M USED TO YOU BEING ON THE MOVE.

RIGHT, WELL, THIS IS THE HOME BASE.

THERE STILL IS A MOBILE MUSEUM, ALTHOUGH IT IS A TEMPORARY-- TEMPORARILY NONMOBILE MUSEUM, BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN RETIRED.

(Randy) WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT MUSEUM?

(Erika) THAT IS THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF THE WORLD'S SMALLEST VERSIONS OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST THINGS TRAVELING ROADSIDE ATTRACTION AND MUSEUM.

DID YOU BRING THE TAPE BALL?

(Mike) YES, OF COURSE.

(Erika) BECAUSE I HAVE THIS WORLD'S SMALLEST VERSION OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST BALL OF TAPE, BECAUSE I SAW IT.

I MADE THE REPLICA.

WE CAN DO META PHOTOS.

[squeals] THE WORLD'S SMALLEST VERSION IS IN THE BIG BALL SECTION RIGHT IN BETWEEN THE TWO SMALLEST VERSIONS OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST BALLS OF TWINE.

[squealing] (Don) SQUEALING ASIDE, IT'S EASY TO SEE WHY ERIKA'S ON OUR A-LIST.

HER EVER-GROWING EMPIRE OF BIG-SMALL-BIG IS SOMETHING TO BEHOLD, AND IN A PERFECT WORLD, WE'D BE BEHOLDING IT LONGER.

BUT YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

SOME SERIOUS DRIVING IS IN STORE, THROUGH HAYS, PAST THE BIG PRAIRIE DOG IN OAKLEY, AND OUT INTO THE WIDE-OPEN SPACES THAT ALSO CONTAIN THESE WHAT-ARE-THEY-DOING-OUT-HERE FORMATIONS KNOWN AS MONUMENT ROCKS.

GRAB THE GLOVES.

LET'S PLAY SOME CATCH.

I THINK THESE ARE PRETTY AMAZING LITTLE GEOLOGIC STRUCTURES.

YEAH, WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE?

DOES ANYBODY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

(Don) EROSION, PEAT EROSION.

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY CAN'T THROW GROUNDERS ON THIS TURF.

(Don) NO, I LEARNED THAT.

IT'S A MONUMENT TO OUR STUPIDITY, SOME WOULD SAY.

YEAH, WELL.

I'M RELUCTANT TO SAY IT, BUT ROCK AND FIRE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO PLAY WITH THOSE MONUMENT-ROCK-COLORED BALLS, SO SPECIAL BALL.

WHOA.

(Mike) IS THERE SOMETHING MILDLY SEXUAL ABOUT THIS SPOT?

ARE YOU TALKING FREUD FLINTSTONE?

WELL, IF OUR PUNS PER INNING GETS ANY WORSE, THEY'LL BE RUNNING US OUT OF THE COUNTY, AND CALL IT COINCIDENCE, BUT WE ARE HEADING WEST AT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED, NOT QUITE TO THE BORDER BUT ALMOST, TO THE FORT WALLACE MUSEUM AND THIS BIG BARBED WIRE BUFFALO WHICH REVEALS THE FLESH-RIPPING WORK THAT ERNIE POE'S BEEN UP TO OF LATE.

(Ernie) WELL, I MADE MY LIFE KEEPING CATTLE IN WITH IT.

WE RANCHED AND FARMED MOST OF OUR LIFE AND NEVER THOUGHT I'D START PLAYING WITH IT, THOUGH.

BUT I HAD A-- IN THE OTHER BUILDING, WE GOT A COLLECTION, BARBED WIRE COLLECTION, AND WE DECIDED THAT IT WAS GONNA BE TOO MONOTONOUS GOING CLEAR AROUND THE ROOM, AND WE GOT TO THINKING, "WELL, IF WE HAD A PICTURE OF A DESERT SCENE IN BETWEEN, THAT MIGHT HELP."

(Randy) WHAT CAME FIRST?

(Ernie) THE ROADRUNNER CAME FIRST, AND THEN I BUILT THE MODEL SO I COULD SHOW HOW THE HARNESS FIT ON THE HORSE ON THE SLEIGH, AND THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IT.

AND THEN ONE BEHIND IN THE BUGGY, THAT'S A DIFFERENT TYPE OF HORSE, SO I MADE ANOTHER FOR THAT.

AND THEN WE HAD TWO OXEN YOKES LAYING ON THE FLOOR, AND SO I WOKE UP THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ONE NIGHT, AND I BUILT A TEAM OF OXENS.

[laughs] (Mike) FROM RANCHER TO ARTIST, DID YOU EVER THINK THAT'D HAPPEN?

WELL, NOT THAT WORD.

I DON'T USE IT.

I'M STILL A FARMER.

WHILE WE'RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THIS THING, LET'S TAKE A QUICK LOOK AT-- THERE'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF WIRE IN THIS.

(Ernie) THERE ALL JUST STANDARD BARBED WIRE THAT WAS TAKEN OFF OF THE FENCE.

WE ROLLED THIS PART OF THE BUFFALO OUT OF INCH-- ON AN INCH AND A HALF PIPE.

IT TAKES 80 FOOT OF WIRE TO MAKE AN EIGHT-FOOT COIL, AND WE TIED A TRUCK WHEEL ON THAT END, AND THEN I GUIDED IT ACROSS THE WIRE AS MY SON RUN THE LITTLE GAS-POWERED MACHINE, AND WE JUST KEPT ROLLING.

THERE'S OVER TWO MILE OF WIRE IN THAT PARTICULAR DEAL.

(Mike) SOUNDS LIKE ERNIE--ARTIST ERNIE, INVENTOR, TOO, MAKING MACHINES TO MAKE THIS WORK.

YEAH, WE HAD TO THINK THAT ONE UP, ALL RIGHT.

THESE ARE ONE OF THE VERY FIRST ONES I USED TO MAKE.

THERE'S A COUPLE OF MY BIRDS RIGHT BY YOUR HEAD.

BUT IT TAKES ABOUT 50 HOURS TO PUT ONE TOGETHER LIKE THAT.

ALTHOUGH WHEN I FIRST STARTED TO DO LITTLE HORSES, THAT WERE ABOUT 20 TO 30 BAND-AIDS ON MY HANDS.

I MEAN, YOU CAN'T HELP IT.

(Randy) SO YOU'VE CHOSEN A MEDIUM THAT'S JUST BASICALLY FIGHTING BACK ALL THE TIME?

YEAH, I KEEP MY SHOTS UP TO DATE.

(Randy) WELL, ERNIE, WHAT DID THE OTHER RANCHERS AROUND TOWN SAY WHEN YOU STARTED DOING THIS WITH BARBED WIRE?

ARE THEY ALL DOING IT TOO?

(Ernie) NO, I DON'T HAVE MUCH COMPETITION.

[laughs] NOBODY WANTS TO FOOL WITH IT.

NO, IT'S JUST A DIFFERENT WAY OF EXPRESSING YOURSELF, I GUESS.

(Don) I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER MYSELF, AND EVEN IF I COULD, I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT?

THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

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ALL THIS SHOWMANSHIP WAS REALLY BUILT INTO THE TURN OF THE CENTURY ETHOS, SO THAT'S HOW YOU TELL THIS STORY, AND THAT'S HOW YOU GET 'EM TO COME BACK AND HEAR THE STORY AGAIN.

(Don) DID YOU SAY ETHOS?

I DID SAY ETHOS.

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