(male announcer) Production funding for this program is provided by the DeBruce Companies, proud to serve agricultural communities throughout the Midwest with high-speed grain handling facilities, fertilizer and feed ingredient distribution terminals, and retail fertilizer operations.

(man) ♪ Welcome to a show about things you can see ♪ ♪ without going far, and a lot of them are free.

♪ ♪ If you thought there was nothing ♪ ♪ in the old heartland, ♪ ♪ you ought to hit the blacktop ♪ ♪ with these fools in a van.

♪ ♪ Look out, they're driving hard, ♪ ♪ checking out art in their own backyard.

♪ ♪ Randy does the steering so he won't hurl.

♪ ♪ Mike's got the map, such a man of the world.

♪ ♪ That's Don with the camera, ♪ ♪ kind of heavy on his shoulder.

♪ ♪ And that giant ball of tape, it's a world record holder.

♪ ♪ Look out, they're driving hard, ♪ ♪ checking out art in their own backyard.

♪ ♪ Look out, they're driving hard, ♪ ♪ checking out the world in their own backyard, ♪ ♪ checking out the world in their own backyard.

♪ ♪ [tires squealing] (Mike) Whoa, whoa, what kind of driving is that?

Slow down, there, buddy.

(Randy) Slow down and smell the window washer fluid.

I know; isn't this the stinkiest water you ever smelled in your life?

They don't ever change the water in these things, so it smells like, I don't know, some outhouse somewhere.

(Don) Dear TV Mailbag, How's this for technique?

Hi; Don the camera guy here, watching one TV weasel do what he does best while the other struggles with another pesky travel chore.

(Mike) Ah, nothing like fresh ice.

Dead sausage.

Difference between us and Charles Kuralt-- you never saw him dump his cooler, did you?

No, Charles Kuralt had interns to do it for him.

(Don) Makes you wonder how these shows ever get made.

But somehow, they do.

In fact, another is under way now in a hot, windy field on the edge of Houston.

The sign says, "Forbidden Gardens," which leads me to ask this question: Huh?

Okay, we get that a lot.

That's, like, our number one question out here.

Um, it's a Chinese history and cultural museum that was built by a man from Hong Kong.

When he came and moved here to Seattle and brought his children with him, he realized that there was really no place like this in the United States.

And he decided that he was going to make this his little pet project, a little bit of a tip of his hat at his culture.

Everything here is made in China.

We had all of our exhibits, our buildings, our soldiers, everything were made in-- they were made in China by Chinese artisans and craftsmen.

We took some of those same craftsmen and artisans and brought them here and had them assemble it all here so it would be, you know, down to the last detail correct.

Okay, first we have to see if you have evil spirits or evil--you have evil intent, so you have to pass through this area right here where the two tomb guardians are.

This is supposed to guard against evil spirits.

And if you don't make it through, what?

If you can pass through, then you're not evil spirit-- not an evil spirit.

Whew, I feel better about myself right now.

All right.

We--we probably-- he hit the barrier.

You hit the barrier.

(Mike) Who was Emperor Quin?

(Melinda) Emperor Chin.

I knew that; I was just testing you.

Uh-huh, Emperor Qin was the first emperor of China.

He was one of the kings of the Warring States, and he conquered all the surrounding states and made China one, as we would think of it today.

And so he set up the-- [laughing] (Randy) Wh oa.

[laughing] I'm not laughing at you.

[laughs] You really are an evil spirit.

Things are just tripping you up all over the place.

(Randy) Have you ever seen our cameraman do the splits?

Well, I think I just did.

(Mike) Wow, there's some serious work going on here.

(Melinda) Oh, there is some serious work going on here.

Unfortunately, this place is-- because it's out in the open, the Texas heat was not something that people from Hong Kong and Seattle had really counted on.

So we're constantly having to keep up with everything, and it's a full-time job.

(Randy) Look at this.

(Melinda) Yeah, this is pit number one.

This is a typical marching style.

This is the infantry section.

It's made out of the actual terra cotta from about a mile away from where they found the actual pits in China, in Xi'an.

And they're made from casts they took of actual soldiers.

These are about 3 feet tall.

And then they put them on a boat, barged them over, and we unloaded them here.

And if any parents are watching out there, keep your kids away from the exhibits.

[chuckles] (Mike) What's actually the forbidden part?

(Melinda) Well, the Forbidden Gardens is a play on the forbidden city.

(Mike) Wow, look at that.

(Randy) That is incredible.

(Mike) That is amazing.

(Melinda) Yeah, we like to say about our tour guides, we all look like Godzilla, walking around, when we're up here, giving tours.

This is where the Emperor lived, the Palace of Heavenly Purity, in the day when it was the imperial palace.

(Mike) I think I read somewhere that they threw the molds away or something, didn't they?

(Melinda) I've heard that rumor; then I've heard, no, that's not true.

So I can't tell you, honestly.

(Don) Well, let's start a rumor.

(Randy) Yeah, Mike, go ahead.

I think the molds were thrown away, and there are no more molds.

(Don) That's what I heard.

(Mike) All these little miniatures and stuff, how do they hold up out here in the-- (Melinda) Well, a lot better now that they're covered, unless we have birds that make nests up here.

Then it's kind of messy.

This was going to be another exhibit, but it was never-- the whole exhibit never arrived.

Where are the gardens part of Forbidden Gardens?

[chuckles] Well, the landscaping that you see around, that's actually th e gardens, and that's wh at everyone thinks, is it's a garden.

Either that or a topless establishment.

Really.

(Randy) So Mr. Poon is the man.

(Melinda) He's the owner.

You know, he's doing some pretty important stuff.

(Randy) But he must have thought this was pretty important to invest what I understand was a sizable chunk of change.

Yes, and I'm-- (Mike) Forbidden to tell us.

Forbidden to say.

(Don) Now, doing tours, Melinda says she's pretty much heard it all, but she's never seen a move like I made earlier.

(Randy) You okay, Donnie?

That was an unnatural way for a man's legs to splay.

(Don) Nor a ball of videotape as large as ours, which, as usual, has bystanders buzzing.

A beautiful ball of tape.

I've never seen one quite like it before.

(Don) So after a brief but touching ceremony outside the gates, we bid Forbidden Gardens adieu, climbed back into our toasty van, and headed for Seguin, home to yet another world's largest, or so they claim, though having been before to the big pecan in Brunswick, Missouri, we're somewhat dubious.

We're on a mission of scientific validation.

We're just checking facts.

These Texans, you know, they like to claim all kinds of stuff, and sometimes, you just gotta step in, and-- There it is, right there.

And that's so not the world's largest pecan.

(Mike) Oh, oh, ho.

Oh, those guys are-- (Randy) We--we could throw away our measuring tools.

I mean, look, look, look.

Look at that one.

Look at that.

Here's us.

With the big pecan.

Now, us-- Same--same-- Same pose.

(Don) Same guys, but you're a little older.

You could have shrunk.

They say you shouldn't mess with Texas, but right is right, and this nut's nowhere near as big as Brunswick's.

We just call 'em as we see 'em.

And right now, we're calling it a day.

[cow moos] Well, as you can see, this new day finds us loose on the streets of San Anton, a city just large enough to get horribly lost in.

So we've turned to our patron saint of outsider art here, Hank at the San Angel gallery, to help us out and clue us in.

(Hank) It's this great crossroads of all these different cultures.

Total bizarre place that's in the middle, you know, just almost to the border.

It's near, you know, the South.

It's near Louisiana.

It's near New Mexico.

You get all this kind of cross-culture, and it just goes on, and it's a kind of frontier town still, and I think characters still can live and can survive.

(Don) Characters not unlike the Reverend Seymour Perkins, painter, carver, and discoverer, he says, of a tunnel from the Underground Railroad in his very own yard.

(Hank) He just used to walk around with this big costume on, you know, with the necklaces and the carvings, and I was totally, as you can tell, interested.

He started doing these Bible phrases on paper.

And his daughter was murdered, and so he started doing all these tributes to her.

(Randy) To your knowledge, he didn't really have an art background of any kind?

(Hank) No, nothing.

It's always all about message and getting the story out, and it's all found objects from his neighborhood, and his whole home is full of found objects that are future projects.

(Don) Sounds like it's time to pay the Rev a quick visit.

His yard's easy to spot, strewn as it is with signs that proclaim his beliefs.

(Seymour) Now, look what I said here.

"Hang tough till you get your stuff.

Don't quit it till you get it."

And when I get ready to preach, angels come around me.

Angels come around me.

Hallelujah.

Project 2010 is the Underground Railroad that you're standing on top of that comes up in that yard over there.

And half the people don't believe me, but I've been in there.

I got in there February 22, 1994.

God spoke to me three times February 22, 1994, and if you ever heard God's voice, you know how it is.

(Randy) Tell me about these sticks.

(Seymour) Well, I started whittling about 10, 15 years ago, and this is what it-- I ain't got no tools yet.

I'm using a pocketknife.

(Randy) What--what's with the numbers on them?

(Seymour) Well, if I wanted to go on the internet, I had to put a number where they'd see.

I didn't know how to do that.

I just numbered them last night, so if somebody wanted to recognize them, they could.

I got a whole bunch of window curtains the man give me, and I didn't have to buy no canvas.

I got a bunch of them to draw on.

[laughs] But I ain't got no paint.

This is King; this is a replica of King.

This is a replica of King, there.

That's Solomon M. Cole.

Now, when you get ready to come back over here, and I get me some paint, I'm gonna have the old Alamo door-- I mean, the--yeah, the old Alamo, not the door.

This is gonna be the front of it.

That's an Indian shooting a white boy in the back while he try to-- I just thought that was unusual.

I hadn't seen that Indian.

That's them Mohawks.

(Randy) Teddy Roosevelt, did he do a lot in Texas?

(Seymour) Oh, man, Rough Riders.

Do you know Dave Robinson?

Yeah, he's one of my favorites.

Take a good look.

I was gonna make him.

It looked dead like him in the mouth, but I stopped, 'cause I asked him for some help, and he ain't never helped me yet.

Did you know Lyndon B. Johnson was Sam Houston's nephew?

(Mike) No.

He got a brother named Sam Houston.

L.B.J.

do.

(Randy) I knew Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy, and Kennedy had a secretary-- How's that go?

Hang tough till you get your stuff.

Don't quit it till you get it.

(Don) Now, Reverend Perkins will not reveal the exact location of that tunnel, but he has pegged 2010 as the big year for it.

Come on, then.

(Don) Remember, you heard it here first.

So with Hank still to guide us, we barreled across town in search of more self-taught San Antonians, pausing briefly while Hank got some guidance of his own.

(Randy) God bless the Postal Service.

(Don) Then, before you know it, there we are, gawking at a bona fide birdhouse bonanza in Sam Mirelez's front yard.

Sam began with coffee cans made to resemble the church in which he was wed and has been going at it ever since.

(Sam) I retired from Kelly Air Force Base.

I had to do something there, besides drinking beer, and after two, three weeks there, it gets old, you know.

[tapping] And then my wedding anniversary was coming up.

So I made that first birdhouse.

[tapping] (Randy) Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

(Sam) I got little miniatures, and I got some big monster birdhouses.

That's the University of Texas, the UT Tower.

(Randy) Uh-huh.

(Mike) Yeah, that's--everybody, duck.

(Sam) And you know what this is.

(Mike) What is--what do they call that?

(Sam) That's the Hemisphere Tower.

This is a toaster-- used to be a toaster.

Made a birdhouse out of that toaster.

(Mike) I liked your White Houses, your Washington stuff.

(Mike) Looking good over there-- look, it's Paris.

(Randy) There's Paris.

(Sam) And here's some more castles here.

There's English castles, German castles, French castles, Italian castles, Spanish castles, and this one is Istanbul, Turkey.

That one is?

(Sam) This one.

I'll move the litter box.

These look pretty sturdy.

(Sam) Yeah.

(Randy) Yeah?

(Sam) And they don't rust.

(Mike) You can cut yourself pretty good on this stuff, can't you?

(Sam) That's correct.

How are your hands?

Let's see.

Are you all cut up?

They don't look bad.

No, well, I've learned how to keep my hands out of the way.

[mechanical whirring] (Randy) I wanted to ask you what the hardest one to make was.

(Sam) The German castle there, in Germany.

Weinstein something.

(Randy) Why was it so hard?

Because I only had a picture, the front view.

Did you go over to Germany to take a look first?

No, sir, I go to the library and get pictures.

[pounding] I get a big kick out of watching people appreciate my work, 'cause that's my work.

People tell me, "Sam, why don't you go into business?"

I'm retired.

I worked for 38 1/2 years.

I don't want to work anymore.

I don't want to be obligated.

I want to be free.

(Don) Okay, ornithologists out there, and you know who you are, know that this type of lodging is preferred by purple martins, but purple martins do not prefer the climate here.

So tough luck for them.

We said "So long" to Sam and set off once again on the trail of trabajo rustico, a style of working with concrete till it looks like wood.

We've seen samples of Dioñicio Rodriguez's work before in Arkansas and Tennessee, and since San Antonio was his home base, several more are still standing here, plus a great-nephew who's carrying on the family way.

(Carlos) My dad was born in northern Mexico, and he met my great-uncle around 1921.

Later on, they met in San Antonio, and my great-uncle at that time had already received a commission to do some work in Breckinridge Park.

He was kind of secretive about it, especially when he was-- I think he was more like that when he was further north.

Here in San Antonio, I think a lot of people already knew the process, and he wasn't maybe as secretive.

(Mike) It seems like I read somewhere that he worked really fast with silverware and stuff.

(Carlos) Oh, yeah.

Instead of using, like, say, palette knives, you know, or tools that most artists use, he had handmade tools, like a fork with the tines being bent a certain way.

And he did use trowels, though.

Here's a good one down there.

He would mix his colors in a big jar, and then after he was done, he would break the jars.

And he also used to mix some sort of a scented-- like a banana-scented oil or something that he would throw in there just to, you know, throw people off.

He was an artist.

Even though he didn't call himself an artist, he was an artist.

And he was working around the same time a lot of Mexican artists were doing, you know, murals and sculpture.

It's its own kind of work.

There is quite a bit of movement to it.

You can see that right away from a distance, and that's something that's kind of hard for me, who's-- I'm still learning-- is to duplicate that.

I think they were just smart.

I think that they just knew what-- you know, they had an idea of what they wanted to do.

And they could-- more than likely, if it could be done in wood, it could be done in cement.

(Don) These days, Carlos says, it's called faux bois.

We'll just call it cool, a term which can't be used to describe us now.

Whoo, I'm sick.

As our grueling tour de Hank rolls on towards what these producers swear is one last stop for the day.

At least it's indoors and a place where the holiday spirit thrives all year long.

Hey, look who's here.

(Ed) Come on in.

(Mike) All right.

Oh, my goodness gracious.

[discordant chiming] [Randy chuckles] (Randy) Okay, I--I-- (Mike) Yeah, it's like, ah-- I feel like I'm on the inside of a clock.

(Ed) Well, do you want to hear the story about all this?

In 1988, I was sitting there on that couch, and I was looking at this old ceiling.

And I says, "Well," I says, "I think I'll just put some bows on that ceiling."

Okay?

So I went out in the garage and made me an ugly stick.

[chuffs] And I fixed me a bow put-er-on-er-- If I can get it to stay in place-- and then I just find a hole and put it up there, and I don't have to get no ladder, no nothing.

Anyway, at that point in time, I started making hats.

See all them hats?

There are 65 hats that I have created.

I created all this.

Everything you see in here, I built it all by myself, no help from nobody.

The old saying goes, if you want something done right, then do it yourself, and forget about it, right?

(Mike) If you want something overdone right-- I overdone it, didn't I?

[chuckling] (Mike) People have paid attention.

(Ed) Yeah, oh, yes, thousands of people every year come to this house.

(Mike) And is there just a procession of cars going by?

(Ed) Well, there's so many people come, police comes out here every year and directs traffic.

Now, a lot of them's got more outside than I got.

But look, I ain't got just a little old bitty hill here to set on.

But I'll bet you a quarter there's nobody got an inside like this.

(Don) Ed, I think I heard the phone ring.

Let's see; hold on a minute.

You might have.

Hello?

No, you didn't.

(Randy) How many days till Christmas?

Do you keep a running track?

(Ed) No, every day's Christmas.

Come the 18th of May, I'll be 81 years old.

I spent 30 years in the army in 3 wars-- World War II, Korean War, and Vietnam-- and I was a first sergeant the last few years in the army, and I just don't forget very much.

Come on, cameraman.

(Mike) Come on, cameraman.

(Randy) Cameraman's having a flashback.

It's okay.

(Mike) I'll bet you you're the most popular grandfather in town.

(Ed) Oh, yeah, I am the grandpa of the neighborhood.

(Randy) Where are we going, Ed?

(Ed) We're going right in here.

(Randy) What is it called?

(Ed) It's called Little People's Room.

(Randy) This was a bed.

(Ed) Yes, sir.

You know, I have people-- women, especially women-- say, "You sleep on that?"

I says, "Yep, sure do."

You want to come wake me up in the morning?

Now, you know I ain't gonna sleep on that bed.

(Randy) But some people only do these decorations maybe for a month or so.

(Ed) Oh, yeah.

I had no intention of taking anything down.

You know what I mean?

And when I put it up, in the first place, I'd have to buy another house just to put the stuff in here in another house, 'cause I don't have no room to store none of it.

I've got 1,800 bags, 2,125 sacks for Halloween and Christmas, for the little folks.

(Mike) It's all about fun, isn't it, Ed?

(Ed) Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

I tell everybody I got three hearts: one for Ed Clark, me; one for Mother Clark in heaven; and the third one is for all these little people and all the children that I know that come to the Christmas house.

And it just makes it flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter.

(Don) Well, if decorating was an Olympic sport, Ed has definitely gone for the gold.

What can I say except, "Hand me that candy, you TV weasel."

(Randy) Hey, the sofa.

Mike found the sofa.

(Don) Okay, we have not only remembered the Alamo.

We've managed to find it.

And our mission now is some quick catch before someone says we can't.

(Randy) What would Santa Ana say?

Santa Ana would say the winds are high today.

(Don) Tossing a few in honor of our favorite Major League Moes while playing fast and loose with Texas history.

(Randy) Nolan Ryan was at the Alamo, wasn't he?

(Don) It was about this time that we noticed our close proximity to a place that's famous for listing world record holders.

(Mike) Guinness World Records Museum, baby.

(Don) We set off towards it with our own worthy contender for some confirmation and certification, which isn't quite what we got.

On the bright side, this supremely stupid scene was a big hit with these kids across the street.

(Mike) Cheering for the big ball.

Oh.

Oh, ho, that makes-- That makes my heart feel good.

(Don) However, the issue here isn't crowds; it's clouds.

Big dark ones are rolling in and racing us to the site of our show-stopping finale, a place I'm tempted to say will bowl you over.

Barney Smith's Toilet Seat Art Museum is located out back in Barney's garage, which, as it turns out, is topped with a big tin roof.

Cue the torrential rains.

Say, I've been on The View, Barbara Walters' show.

Early Show is this one right here, which was just the other day, just before Barbara Walters.

And there's Harry Smith.

"I feel flush."

That's what I did.

(Randy) And what are those?

(Barney) Well, that's something that you-- (Randy) They're roach clips?

Well, you were a plumber, right?

I'm a master plumber, retired.

I was a plumber.

I still am a plumber.

Every one is numbered on the back.

This is number 1 and number 500.

(Randy) Number 1.

(Barney) And number 500.

(Randy) Number 500.

And my wife said that I promised her that I would quit at 500.

So since I started with dog tags, number 1, I said, "Well, I'll just put 500 with my dogs if I'm gonna have to quit."

I'm up to 691 now.

(Mike) Did you see the Brad Pitt seat?

(Randy) I did; I was kind of-- (Mike) Making a Pitt stop.

This is my 62nd wedding anniversary year, 62nd.

Well, I'm proud of this, because the governor, John Hoeven, signed it.

Margaret Ellis sent me her computer, and I sawed off about five inches there and put some of the tabs here in this part and here and here.

I've got a snake that fell off, found it on the floor here.

That snake goes right there.

(Mike) Here's what I want to know.

How do you spell "funny" in Russian?

I don't know.

Yakov Smirnoff.

(Barney) I want you put down my website: www.unusualmuseums.org/toilet.

I'm one of the ten oddball attractions in the Lone Star State.

You can't beat that.

(Randy) And does that please you?

(Barney) Well, I say it does.

(Randy) 'Cause a toilet seat is just another-- (Barney) Well, sure, it becomes a plaque.

It's no longer a seat that you sit down on.

I put my mother's buttons in the ring of a toilet seat.

And I hung it up there and stepped back.

I said, "Never will I put anything in the hole."

clunk!

(Mike) Whoa, careful.

Well, I was just wondering if Tim Duncan's plate was still out there, holding my water from getting up in my battery pack.

But you wanted to know about the space shuttle?

(Randy) You got the space shuttle.

You've got Mount St. Helens.

It's a living history right here.

(Barney) Oh , everything.

I've even got a piece of the Berlin Wall.

(Randy) But it's not for sale.

(Barney) Not for sale.

You couldn't buy one of these for love nor money.

Lady just this morning, she picked up one of them, and she said, "Well, I'd love to have-- how much is this?"

I said, "That's not for sale."

That's one of my oil paintings.

I took this down to the starving artist show, and no one wanted to buy it, but I brought it back, and I cut it out to fit my toilet seat, and now it is for sale.

But it $139.

(Randy) I was having this problem with my toilet, where it keeps running, you know, after-- you got any tips for me?

(Don) Wouldn't you know it?

For once, you could learn something useful from this show, but we're out of time.

I can only say from the Toilet Seat Art Museum, this is Don the camera guy signing off.

(female announcer) To learn more about the sites on this show and how to find them, visit us on the web at: DVDs, tapes, and a companion book to this series are available by calling: Captioning and audio description provided by the U.S. Department of Education.

Captioning and audio description by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com Let's see, Crockett.

Crockett.

He played in the National League, didn't he?

(Mike) Yeah.

[pounding] Look at that.

My brain hurts.

(Ed) Is this thing gonna ever be aired on anything?

No, we just came by to see if we couldn't ge t a free bag of candy.

(male announcer) Production funding for this program is provided by the DeBruce Companies, with facilities providing customers with market information and marketing opportunities for domestic and international grain, fertilizer, and feed ingredient businesses.