[Music] Lakeland Currents, your public affairs program for north central Minnesota.

Closed captioning is made possible by Bemidji Regional Airport, serving the region with daily flights to Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport.

More information available at bemidjiairport.org Welcome to Lakeland Currents.

I'm your host Todd Haugen.

Our show is about Kinship of the Park Rapids area, a mentoring program, and our guests on Lakeland Currents this time are the director of Kinship of the Park Rapids area Molly London and former director Mari Jo Lohmeier.

Welcome to Lakeland Currents.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Nice to have you both here today.

Kinship is a program that people have perhaps heard of before, there are Kinships in some other towns as well.

Mentoring, I think people might have a basic idea of what that is but what's Kinship do and what's mentoring in the program?

Sure, Kinship is a mentoring program where we enroll kids ages 6 to 16 with caring adults that are in our community who have chosen to support a youth in various ways whether that's with everyday activities, maybe some homework help, just kind of getting these kids involved in our community.

And Mari Jo you are the the former director.

Former director yes.

So how long has Kinship been operating in Park Rapids.

Oh gosh Molly do you know that answer cuz I don't.

Since 1992, so what is that, 32 years.

And how many kids and how many mentors are we talking about?

Currently we're at 20, so 20 youth and matched with 20 mentors and then we have a wait list of about a dozen kids who are waiting, kids to be matched.

Waiting to be matched with their mentor.

Are these mostly boys, mostly girls?

Unfortunately it is more boys just because we don't have as many male mentors.

I was going to say because it's the females that seem to step up to do the mentoring and so it was same with when I was there it was mostly boys that were on that waiting list.

And it was the same when I mentored here in Bemidji doing Kinship North there were.

So we need the guys.

Yeah we were always looking for guys and so you know folks that might be watching this show hopefully will think about this.

Well it's kind of sad because so many of our kids are from single household, you know households, single parent households and typically that's a mom, so they really are lacking, even those girls are lacking males in their lives you know as role models right so that's very important.

So what do we know about these kids besides the fact that many of them are boys, probably not all but many of them that are waiting for mentors are boys.

Are they people might have the misconception that they're coming from a household that's been abusive.

Oh yeah I did notice that was kind of what people were thinking when I started so I've tried to get away from that because the kids that are in Kinship are so wonderful, they're fun, they're witty, they're funny, they're energetic, they're ready to like do the adventure, and they aren't coming from terrible homes, they're just coming to Kinship for a little more support.

Some may be from lower income homes but that's not an always.

Absolutely not.

When it is low income it doesn't mean bad.

No of course not.

So I would always feel so awful if our kids heard that they were ever described that way because they're not bad.

I think some of them are also, you know, like it's kind of the stereotype that maybe the parents are just young parents and or maybe they're new in town.

I had a couple that were just recently had moved into town with their child and they just needed because they didn't have grandparents and things around they just needed that extra maybe little help for that child to have somebody outside of that family unit to be a role model, to be a mentor.

So these aren't problem kids, if we can use that kind of regrettable term, they're great kids that just want to their parent wants to have another parent or another, not another parent, another adult added in their life.

But why is that important?

Mentoring goes back through the ages in all facets through like entrepreneurship to sports to so education, so it's just another place to encourage someone to do their best.

And I'm always encouraging our mentors to get these kids involved in our community and like make sure the kids feel welcome and they know the resources we have and that the community supports them because these kids are Park Rapids future, you know, so we want them to be like oh, Park Rapids is great, we want to stick around, we want to bring our knowledge and education that we gain through adulthood and raise our families here.

Research shows that in order for kids to thrive there's some things that they need and one of those things is what we call sparks is like to that joy or that passion to find something that they truly love and then opportunities to try to find those sparks or to you know build on those sparks but the other thing that they need is mentors outside of that home, outside of their parents because a lot of these kids maybe don't have local grandparents and things like that but and you think about, you know, a lot of kids who are involved in sports their coaches become mentors or if they're involved in a church program those church people become mentors but a lot of these kids, especially if they're newer to town or and maybe low income or whatever, they just don't have people outside of that family unit that can be those role models and things and it's just so important if we want our kids to thrive to have those things and those opportunities in front of them.

What do mentors typically do with these kids?

Anything, everything.

A lot of times it's their own hobbies, so they might teach woodworking to those kids, they might love to fish and that child becomes a great passionate fisherperson, or they go to the park, they go to movies, they bake cookies, they I don't know what else?

They play games.

Kinship also holds a monthly group activity which I organize.

So I was looking for free and inexpensive things we can do as a group.

So we've gone to like the Soaring Eagle Ski Trail and we borrowed their snowshoes.

We've done the painting events, we go to the Maslowski Center in Wadena, we're going sledding, we're using some local expert fisherman to help us go ice fishing.

Yeah.

I think it's the beauty of living in a small town because you do, you know where the resources are and you usually know somebody involved in that resource so you can kind of touch base and get them on board with you.

But mentors aren't expected to spend a lot of money on kids.

They don't spend anything.

I preach it don't spend, low to no cost is what we're looking for and.

Kinship has some great people and businesses that support Kinship a lot so they're able to get like tickets to the Vikings games and things like that, so then mentors get to go to those things through kinship and it's no cost out of their pocket at all then to do those things because those are bigger activities.

It's not expected for the mentor to foot the bill at all on those types of things, but it's opportunities that these kids have never had the chance to do, you know, to go to some big things like that.

Are a lot of the mentors getting together with the kids once a week?

It really varies on the schedule of the kids and the mentors.

So I have some mentors who are exactly that weekly, some are every other week and they get all of their hours in just a few visits.

We recommend to try and get about six hours a month with your youth and so that just looks really different for everyone but we also talk about the quality of time versus the quantity.

So if they're getting together less than 6 hours but they're having really good conversations or they're trying something new or they just enjoyed each other's time I think that's worth more.

And a lot of the mentors are snowbirds, you know, so when I first started with the program I was like well how do you do that if they're gone for, you know, four months or five months or whatever, but you know what, letter writing, phone calls, FaceTiming, there's just so many opportunities through technology that they can still get together cuz you can play games via FaceTime, there's lots of online type things and online board games and stuff so it really does work even if it's a long distance as long as they have that relationship before that mentor leaves.

It's hard to create that relationship via technology if they haven't already built that relationship.

And the few snowbirds that we do have when they've been matched the family knows that the mentor will be gone for a few months so that's been discussed and everyone's like on board with that.

When mentoring mentors are deciding what sorts of things to do with the kids that they are mentoring do they have to have that approved by the organization or just the parent?

It's really just the parent.

So we go through when a mentor signs up they sit down with me and we go through our policies and we do some training and we talk about the kids or the youth that they would like to mentor, the type of youth, you know, and so we have a pretty good understanding and then there's like more meetings where we're with the parent and the youth and generally I try to get them to a group activity so everyone's friendly with each other and then the parent and the mentor start to discuss all right well our next activity I would like to take little Johnny swimming and you know work that out with the parent.

I step out at that point and just do check-ins.

And hopefully that mentor is talking with the youth and they're finding things together it's not just the mentor coming up with the ideas because it's kind of a team effort, you know, like what do you love to do and again finding those sparks or those interests.

I mean there might be a youth that has no idea they love to fish or love to do woodworking or something, but soon as they're exposed, it's a new passion.

I would assume that as everybody is getting to know each other when an adult is first matched with a kid that he or she is going to mentor that you start slowly.

I mean everybody has to kind of get to know each other, the parent has to get to know this.

Yeah very much.

So the kid has to get to know and get comfortable with.

And I think there's a big trust factor too because that parent, I mean as a parent it would have been really hard for me to send my child with a complete stranger, I mean so there's that kind of that period of time where you got to build that trust with the family and with the youth and you know and it goes both ways right.

So yeah complete stranger that I mean makes me think more about the selection process for mentors because these individuals do have to be vetted right?

Absolutely yes and I do my best and I try to take a long time while I do it I guess you could say I draw it out I want them to like be interacting with me and get to know them before I start to introduce them to the kids or any of that so when someone applies they immediately go through a background study and then my board, I have a working board of I think we're at like 10,11, and we go through their application and then we do an in-home interview with the mentor and their spouse or any kids that maybe live in the home.

So we get to know them that way and then we just continue with meeting with them and getting them to activities and really trying to make sure we're bringing good people into Kinship and I think we do a good job.

Oh I do too.

We have a great group going on.

Women with girls and men with boys.

But there's sometimes where couples want to do it together and then they could be matched with either you know a girl or a boy but they don't necessarily recommend, you know, that the female be alone with a boy, you know, just because of the world we live in today, right, but I had several couples at the time that wanted to mentor together which is kind of a neat situation too.

And our interests considered, that the kids and the adults have and where the commonalities might exist?

Yeah I would say yes but to a point because some kids like I said they don't know they're interested in it because they've never had the opportunity to try it so that particular hobby or interest may be a total like I'm not interested in that, that would be their first instinct to say, yeah, but they've never been exposed to it, so it may become their favorite thing, you know.

So I think it's more, to me it was more, about almost personalities and like what would click more so than do you like to fish or you know that type of thing.

And it kind of that's where getting the mentee and the mentor to a group activity before making it official so they have like a group setting where they're hanging out and seeing if they like each other because you can't force it.

We're building friendships so it's teaching the kids how to be a friend and the adults how to be a friend and if you don't enjoy the person and that happens.

Not everybody is best friends, you know.

We just did a match meeting and we were going to match our new mentor with a little girl and the little girl and the mentor were kind of back and forth but then the little sister that we ended up matching the sister instead because it was just such a nice fit and that came out of left field and we all laughed about how that didn't go how we thought it would.

But it's neat that you can see that and the flexibility of it.

It is a strange thing about human relationship sometimes our auras just don't mesh or something.

Yeah that's a good way to say it.

But it's okay if a match is attempted and it doesn't seem to really work a different match can be made.

It's through no fault of anybody's but it's just maybe not clicking, you know, it's like maybe personalities just don't click or what I mean there's people that we all meet that it's like, you know, we can be friendly and stuff but they probably aren't going to be my best friend type thing, right.

So yeah and we did that when I was there, we rematched.

Yeah, right, usually it doesn't happen often.

Probably doesn't happen very often.

I usually ask for, you know, try it a few times I'll check in, make sure you talk with your mom, make sure the mentor talks with me and everyone's communicating like if it's going well and if it's not then we just move on and we try again.

Because there's always kids on the waiting list.

Yeah so yeah.

So match is made and the mentoring is occurring and it's working how long do people keep doing it?

I mean forever.

Some for a couple, you know, depending on the age of the child couple years, two or three years, you know, if they're in high school already type thing, but like we said earlier it's like some of them have been going on for.

I think our longest match right now is rolling into eight years.

I was going to say eight or nine years.

And that mentee will be graduating this year so we'll have like a party.

And then it's really fun to see relationship continue when that mentee becomes an adult and moves away from our community but comes home for Christmas and always has to see their mentor and they exchange letters and cards and phone calls and I've had many stories like that and then there becomes, you know, new kids, the next generation and it just keeps going.

It's just really neat, really neat.

So yeah what a wonderful program.

It might be a little bit daunting though for people that are thinking as they watch this show thinking well that sounds really kind of cool but I don't know if I want to block out years.

But there you don't have to, I mean like you can stop the mentorship at any point I mean but usually the relationship, usually the relationship is just like they don't even feel like they need kinship anymore because they're just good friends now like they don't need Kinship but they do because it's good to have that umbrella program just because of policies and support and things like legalities.

Yeah but I've just never, I never met somebody that said man I wish I hadn't ever been a mentor.

I mean once you do it you fall in love with it.

And isn't it true that most mentors feel like they get more out of program.

You hear it all the time, don't you?

Yeah all the time.

So yeah, right, well same with like reading buddies.

I mean like so yeah.

Legalities, do mentors need any special liability protection or anything?

Kinship carries an insurance policy too if there is allegations or accidents or anything like that?

We do have, that's where she's talking about the umbrella our insurance is there to help if things do go awry.

Because they're driving them in their personal vehicles and things like that, you know, and accidents happen, you know, that's why they're called accidents you don't predict them, but Kinship helps support that.

I mean it would be under the Kinship insurance and things and not under the person's personal insurance.

And Mari Jo I think before the show started you mentioned a program called Reading Buddies.

So Reading Buddies is part of Kinship and that was my favorite part just because I am an avid reader reader and so I'm now retired and I said the first thing I'm going to volunteer to do is become a reading buddy.

So we meet our reading buddies, it's first graders is in the program that we do, and you meet with them once a week and read with them.

I am amazed by, because I was an avid reader I just my son grew up having books all the time that's I mean and he became an avid reader.

But like my little reading buddy this year I don't think anybody's ever read to her, like she's just like she's so below like grade level in Reading and she is just like but she's learning to love the stories and that you can get lost in the magic of a book and it's just fun to see their eyes open to a whole new world because it's kind of an escape.

If you love to read you can kind of put your problem aside for 10 minutes while you're reading a chapter or whatever.

So people can volunteer through Kinship of Park Rapids just to do that.

Just to do that.

So it's once a week and it's for half an hour.

So we read at Park Rapids school and Nevis school for a half hour once a week Wednesdays and Thursdays and that's two different groups.

So we have about I would say close to 40 volunteers that go into the two schools to read and it's just really great.

So you get matched with the same little buddy every week and to watch them grow in their reading throughout the year that's just it's really neat to see and I think that's everyone's favorite part and they're building a relationship with this child so again we're hitting our mentoring aspect of things where some children aren't great readers but they're still first graders.

And then we have some who are really good and that's where we're talking more about like the story or how are you or what you know how is your week being and like it's going into more of a conversation too.

It's not all reading, there's a lot of chat.

There is a lot of chat.

But it's really neat to realize that you really do build a relationship because I let my reading buddy know last week that I'm gonna be gone now after Christmas for a month.

It's reading buddies right now.

Yeah, it is right now I'm missing it, and she was so she's like but I'm going to miss you, I mean it was like she was really sad that I was going to be gone for you know four or five weeks.

I said but you'll have another reading buddy, we'll have a substitute.

I don't want another one.

I mean it just makes you feel makes your heart just get big because you truly do build a relationship even though you only see them for a half an hour once a week.

All part of that having the volunteer getting more out of the program than the kids.

I so look forward to it.

And the kids get a lot.

Yeah they do.

So where do the books come from?

They all have a little box of books that are at their reading level.

But I have noticed that a lot of mentors or a lot of the reading buddies bring a book.

You know maybe it was a favorite of their child's or a favorite of their own or a Christmas book cuz it's Christmas time, but no there's always books.

And like in the schools they have like walls of books too and you can choose from those but for the most part.

They have a little bin of books that they bring that's at their level.

So the teachers designate what's at their level so that you have a starting point.

So how do people get involved in that part of the program?

They call me, you can fill an online application.

Yeah we have an online application process at kinshipparkrapids.org and you can fill out an application to become a mentor or a reading buddy and when I see that come through I call and we talk about the schedule and the process of what's next, so yeah.

And that was a question I wanted to ask about Kinship, about mentoring, too.

So you start with that application and people might be, you know, a bit wary of committing, you know, at first but that's a good way to start.

And that's not necessarily the commitment, I mean, once you apply it just really gets you in the door to talk, so, you know, no decision has to be made at that, you know, that very moment.

And I think we covered it but why would you recommend that people do this, why should adults think about mentoring?

Our youth are our future.

It sounds so cliche but it really is the truth like they're the ones who are going to do everything that we do now so we're raising the next generation.

And I think because the mentor, the adults like you've said, they get so much out of it themselves.

They think they're doing it for the kids but they're getting a lot themselves, if not, you know, more.

I mean it's just so rewarding to see that you can make a difference in a child's life and watch that child grow and thrive and be excited to see you.

Are there qualifications?

I mean does it matter how old or young you are?

No.

18.

They have to be an adult.

You need to have insurance on your vehicle and a driver's license and a clean record, you know.

Yeah anyone can do it right.

Yeah right.

Yeah.

And then once you get through the application process and someone really wants to continue on, wants to try to make this happen, does the parent of the kid that's going to be mentored what sort of part do they play in the whole process?

They've already expressed an interest.

They have to get their child involved too they have to step forward and there's a application for that also.

Just so like an adult registers and applies so do the kids, there's a vetting process for that as well where I've had multiple meetings with the kids and Mom to get to know the child, get to know the family, make sure that they're able to also be in the program and contribute to the relationship and respond to messages, respond to calls, and stay on task.

There's a commitment that the parents have to, you know, they have to commit to this, they have to be home on time, you can't make that mentor wait for a half an hour because it's their time, it's valuable time, you know.

So when they're enrolling they're like going through me to make sure that they can respond to me even and if they're like not responding to me or.

Are they late for every meeting or are they showing up for the meetings are they canceling all the time, you know, that's hard for mentor to have somebody cancel out on them.

I never had problems with mentors cancelling a lot but I did have problems with parents not having that child ready to go, not a lot but some.

It happens and sometimes and things happen, life happens.

I try to place myself in that parents position though you know I'd be thinking well I want this mentor for my child but at the same time I want to know more about this person.

I mean do they, are the parents informed who this person is and they get time them?

Yes when they come to the group activities I invite the parent as well and so they're meeting that way and then we do another what I sit down and call a match meeting and we talk about well how did the group activity go, should we try a few times on our individual outings before we commit and so we're all getting together, it's a group effort.

How is the program, we only have a couple minutes left of our show, but how's the program supported?

So we do have amazing community support, unbelievable, through individuals and businesses.

We also have a sponsorship program for businesses if they would like to sponsor and so that's at four different levels they can do that.

I do many different small grants that I write for community grants.

There's spaghetti dinners, there's fish fries.

We do a couple dinners and then this last year we've held Purse Bingos which is really popular.

Yeah they really love that.

Yeah so play Bingo to win purses.

So I would call it a multifaceted.

Once people like realize the importance of kinship they become so devoted to it that like they you always can expect a check from that individual like they just support it they.

We really appreciate our community.

So there's contributions.

Is Hubbard County contributing as well?

We work with some townships who we contract with each year, so we'll reach out to them.

Hubbard County itself no, but within Hubbard County yes.

And are you in need of more volunteers?

Oh, always.

She has a waiting list.

So yes have a waiting list of kids, we have room to grow with our reading buddies, we take anyone who wants to be part of it.

Well not anyone.

But even if it's not as a mentor even if it's maybe to help plan a dinner or plan a fundraiser or, you know, or provide a a place for an activity.

I mean like we've had resorts come forward and say hey you can have your you know July activity out on our lake or whatever.

We kind of advertise five different ways to be involved with Kinship and that's obviously through mentoring, reading buddies, you can join our board, we have Dessert Warriors who maybe at our fundraising events bring in the desserts.

And well we are out of time but thank you for joining us Kinship of the Park Rapids area, thanks again for what you do and for visiting with us today.

Thank you.

That's this edition of Lakeland Currents.