[ Helicopter blades whirring ] LOWRY: The Romans built houses with stone and tiled roofs.

Now, what we're excavating here is a large house, or villa.

And if you look down there, you can see that we've uncovered a section of mosaic floor.

What's that?

LOVEJOY: The Inland Revenue SWAT team.

Burn the books, Beth.

Buyers.

They've been coming in droves since the bank dropped the asking price.

First ones in a helicopter, mind.

That can't be good for the copper beech, can it?

Hello.

Are you the gardener?

Excuse me?

Or are you just stealing apples?

I live in the barn.

What?

I run my business from there.

Antiques.

Really?

Well, if I buy this place, I might need a few of those.

Sort of house that needs a few antiques, isn't it?

LOVEJOY: [ Chuckles ] Needs a bit more than that.

Don't suppose the agent's told you about the rising damp, asbestos, ghosts.

I am the agent, and that's absolute nonsense.

I'll show you round, Mr. Addey.

Watch out for the killer bees.

Definitely not squire material.

Come back, Charlie Gimbert.

All is forgiven.

The truth is, I don't want to see Felsham Hall sold at all.

I remember all the times I spent here with Tinker and Janey and Eric.

Sometimes the past is a safer place to be.

TINKER: I still think my pub needs a new sign.

Have you thought of anything, Beth?

Well, it's a bit hard to come up with something inspiring with a pilchard in it.

It was a smugglers' inn.

What about a pilchard with an eyepatch?

Pay no attention to him.

He's not going anywhere.

I'm seriously considering it, Lovejoy.

I've come to the end of the road in this game.

Tired feet, tired liver.

You're a barker.

Barkers don't retire.

Ronnie Barker did.

And what did he do?

He opened an antique shop.

"'Tis nature's law to change.

Constancy alone is strange."

Did you go to a Chinese restaurant last night?

It's the Earl of Rochester.

You should know that.

Sounds like an excuse for cheating on his wife.

I know we've been together for many years, but if I leave, you're going to need a new partner.

And I don't just mean somebody who can help you in this nefarious business.

I mean someone who can give you something that I never could.

Like sex.

What?

He means Charlotte!

WOMAN: Coffee in the lounge, I think.

Darling, would you like to see about drinks?

Shall I open some more vino or would anyone like a brandy?

I'll stick with the port.

Thanks very much.

I'll stick with Sam.

Charlotte?

No.

No, thank you.

It appears that I'm the designated driver.

So, what's happening, Lovejoy?

Oh, you know, Sam.

Another day too late, a dollar short.

I hear Tinker's leaving.

You'll miss him.

Yeah.

Charlotte's been offered this job in New York.

Didn't she tell you?

Must have slipped her mind.

That's surprising, isn't it, considering your -- your situation.

Drop me off here, Charlotte.

I need a breath of fresh air.

You can take Lovejoy back.

[ Bells chiming ] See you in the morning.

-Good night, Sam.

-Good night.

Were you ever going to mention it or was I simply gonna get a postcard marked "Manhattan" one day?

Did my father mention this?

I'm sick and tired of him poking his nose into my affairs.

If you're thinking about a job 3,000 miles away, Charlotte, it says something about us, don't you think?

I'm ambitious, Lovejoy.

You've always known that.

I wasn't looking for a heavy, emotional relationship.

-Anyone there?

-[ Rustling ] -[ Owl hoots ] -Hello.

We're great together.

We were mutually attracted.

We like the same people.

We like the same things.

We had sex.

Yes, we had sex.

We've tap-danced around each other long enough, Charlotte.

Maybe we should just get married.

-[ Horn honks ] -Careful.

[ Scraping ] Hello, there.

Anyone about?

What's going on?

I think I need to sleep on this.

I think you need to, too, don't you?

[ Telephone rings ] What?

Oh, Charlotte, I thought we were going to sleep on this.

Huh?

I'm on my way.

-Is he all right?

-They don't know yet.

So, what happened?

When I got back home, he wasn't there.

Well, obviously, I was worried, so I went back to the place where we dropped him off.

The gate to the dig was open.

I heard this terrible moaning in the dark.

Sam had a fall.

He didn't fall.

He was attacked!

Who would do a thing like that?

Nighthawks.

Of course it's a fake.

It's by Giovanni Bastianini, the greatest terracotta faker in the world.

MAN: I want my money back!

No, you can't have your money back.

His stuff's worth more than the originals.

[ Sighs ] Not only do people not appreciate a genuine antique when they see one, they don't appreciate a genuine fake.

Don't take any prisoners on the phone, do you, eh?

I had a good teacher, didn't I?

Tell Tink he's gonna have to do this sale on his own.

I've got to go and see Sam in hospital.

-How is he?

-He's conscious.

Don't forget you've got to go to the bank.

Bank?

You have an appointment there at 12:00 with Mr. Brolly, or have you forgotten?

Have you also forgotten that I have the afternoon off?

No.

You didn't tell me where you were going, did you?

No, I didn't.

I tell you one thing.

They weren't kids.

They were big fellas, and they were in a car.

Did you get a good look at it?

No, not really.

All I remember is it had a towing hook on the back.

I remember that 'cause I banged my knee on it.

You know, one of those hooks that you pull horseboxes and boats.

We'll get 'em, Sam.

Well, you can see the problem.

We can't afford full-time security, but we're getting some lights put in.

I've had problems with nighthawks before.

They vandalized the last dig I was doing near Bedford.

So these people find out where the legitimate digs are and then they move in at night and plunder them?

Yeah, and they do such damage.

We fine-tooth-comb everything, and they move in with pickaxes and metal detectors.

Well, at least your father made them leave in a hurry.

They left these behind.

Something to show the police, I suppose.

Police aren't much help, I'm afraid.

Charlotte!

Anything happening?

They left these behind.

Stick 'em in the back.

I'll check 'em out.

Hi.

Oh, Lovejoy, this is Professor Lowry.

-Professor.

-Hello.

Why so smart?

Oh, a bank appointment.

Is this connected with the proposal?

Money for the engagement ring, a honeymoon in the Azores?

I'm late, Charlotte.

Can we talk about this some other time?

Professor, nice meeting you.

Excuse me, Charlotte.

Brolly, eh?

That's a fortunate name for a bank manager.

It suggests the shelter of your financial protection from the problems that rain down on us.

You seem to have had a fair measure of protection from my predecessor.

Oh, yes, Mr. Oxdale.

Dealt with him for years.

Where is he?

Barry had a bit of a drinking problem, between ourselves.

Got a bit sloppy.

Allowed a few things to slide that he shouldn't have.

Is this about my overdraft?

Never mind that for the moment.

What was the name of your previous landlord at Felsham Hall?

Charlie Gimbert.

Gimbert.

Right.

And since Mr. Gimbert has disappeared into the great blue yonder, the bank has owned the house, and I understand the agreement allows you to stay on as tenant at the same rent.

In the barn.

What?

I don't live in Felsham Hall.

I live in the barn.

I don't care whether you live in the barn or in the toolshed.

You haven't paid any rent for seven months.

You all right?

This damn knee keeps stiffening up.

Oh, gardening accident?

Rugby.

It's not my game.

Wrong-shaped ball.

The bank want to see the back rent, and they want you out of there by the end of the month.

I was to stay in the hall until it was sold.

That's always been the deal.

There's been a firm offer.

I hope it's not from that bloke who landed yesterday in the helicopter and nearly turned the copper beech into a bonsai tree.

What have you got against Mr. Addey?

He's just not the type.

Felsham Hall is a Grade II-star Queen Anne home listed in Pevsner's.

And it deserves better.

The bank is not emotionally attached to the house and by the end of the month, nor will you be.

-Here you go, Tinker.

-Thanks, Polly.

-Hello, Lovejoy.

-Same again.

You got your tickets for the dance yet?

Unfortunately, yes.

I went to the sale at that house outside of Tottenham.

Tell me you got something we can sell.

I put a deposit on a tripod table with beautiful pie-crust edging.

Oh, and I bought these.

They're from a young man named John to Lady Clare when she lived there in the 1840s.

He appears smitten but evasive.

But they're very charming, and we can afford them.

[ Sighs ] What's the matter, admiral?

Oh, ta.

You look down in the mouth.

Do you remember Herman Kahn?

The French polisher outside of Dunmow?

No.

It's another Herman Kahn.

This fellow was an enormous bloke who wrote a book about the nuclear holocaust called "Thinking About the Unthinkable."

That's what I've been doing lately, Tink.

Thinking about the unthinkable.

You're not gonna settle with the income tax?

No.

No, you've been thinking about going off and running a pub.

Beth wants to better herself.

I might lose the business.

So last night, I proposed to Charlotte.

I'm sorry?

I said I proposed to Charlotte last night.

Proposed what?

What do you think, you pillock?

My God.

Exactly.

You could honeymoon at the Pilchard Inn.

I'd give you a really good rate.

Tink!

[ Whispers ] Sorry.

She hasn't even given me an answer yet.

Are you frightened she'll say no?

You're worried she'll say yes.

LOVEJOY: I wish you well, House.

I wish you a tenant who never installs a workout room, a recording studio, or a Jacuzzi.

I wish you a family with children and Golden Labradors who like log fires and lovely antiques.

Maybe it's just as well I'm moving on, eh?

Got too many memories invested in this place.

Too many ghosts.

BETH: Lovejoy!

Lovejoy, what are you doing here?

I'm talking to myself.

What's it look like?

Anyway, listen, I've got some news for you, if you're interested.

Go on.

I got it.

You've got what?

I didn't think I stood the remotest chance, but I got it.

You've got what?

The Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, they're gonna take me on in their Book and Manuscript Department.

You've got another job?

Well, you knew I was looking.

You trained me.

I owe it all to you.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing, kid.

I'm very happy for you.

Fitzwilliam Museum, eh?

I'm very, very proud of you.

[ Horn honks ] Probably another would-be buyer.

I guess I'm just allergic to change.

Lovejoy.

Hello.

This is just like the old barn you used to have when we first met.

-Do you remember?

-Mm-hmm.

I can't get over you driving up just like that.

I must confess I got a bit of a shock when I saw you two embracing on the lawn.

Oh, no, not in that way.

I'm just the general dogsbody, dishwasher, and unpaid slave.

Oh, not for me, thanks, Beth.

I'm on my way to lunch with my sister and I'm late already.

She told me the house was for sale.

I just couldn't resist taking a look.

You really thinking of buying it?

The asking price is quite tempting.

It's in much better shape than when you left, you know.

Before Charlie went belly up, he did quite a few things, including state-of-the-art central heating.

Well, it's a big decision.

It's the right one, though, Janey.

I think it's karma.

Don't you, Beth, eh?

If you don't buy it, some bank robber will or some Hong Kong heroin dealer.

-Look, I really must go.

-No, you can't.

I mean, how are you?

Where have you been?

-What have you been up to?

-I'm here for a while.

Let's have lunch and a really good natter, okay?

Bye, Beth.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too, Lady Felsham.

-You've changed your hair.

-Have I?

Oh.

It's a little longer possibly.

Don't you like it?

Yeah, but I liked it the way it was before.

I'll give you a call.

You like everything the way it was before.

You've got Barbra Streisand and a 100-piece orchestra in your head singing "The Way We Were."

Haven't you got something to do before you leave me?

Syd!

Syd!

Syd!!

Lovejoy, blow me!

Your wife said I'd find you out here.

She should have given you some decent gear, mate.

No, thanks.

In the fashion stakes, you're on a par with trainspotters.

Trainspotters are nerds.

We're explorers.

Silent scholars of the past.

Did you find anything today?

Belt buckle.

It's not very old, though.

This clay pipe's nice.

It's been in the ground a bit, mind.

You see how small that bowl is, Lovejoy.

Now, that goes back to the days when tobacco was scarce.

You ever come across any nighthawks?

They're rather specialized, Tink.

I'm sure you'd get a better price if you hung on for a private buyer.

We can't afford the luxury at the moment.

We really need them in Tuesday's auction.

Tinker!

Jane!

You warm the cockles of this cold, old heart.

How are you?

JANE: Oh, I'm terribly well.

So good to see you.

TINKER: Oh, I don't believe you've met.

Lady Jane Felsham, this is Charlotte Cavendish.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Charlotte runs the business now.

Oh, really?

I must say I do miss this place and all my old chums.

You must know Lovejoy.

Yes.

If we were to go over to the White Swan, we might surprise him.

He's just popped in there for a drink.

JANE: Oh, I saw him yesterday.

CHARLOTTE: Really?

I'm surprised he didn't mention it.

I'm going to browse.

Come on, Tink.

Find me a bargain.

-Is that her?

-Yes.

Not what I expected.

I thought she'd be one of those countrified Sloanes who yomp around Suffolk in a pair of green wellies with a very bad haircut.

That's a designer suit.

And she didn't get those shoes in Bury St Edmunds either.

She's already seen Lovejoy.

Oh, they're very old friends.

You mustn't think her return affects your situation.

What situation is that?

No idea at all.

Now, when I find something, I like to think of the last person who ever laid hands on it.

Connects me to 'em, you know.

If it's a few hundred years ago, it really gets me here.

Nighthawks don't think like that, do they?

Nope.

They did that site over at Wenham the other night.

I know.

There's a few teams about.

Some of them are local, some from London.

It's like a network, isn't it?

From what I hear, this one guy fences everything overseas.

Anyway, they left this behind them, Syd, and I want you to show it around.

See if you can find out who sold it, who bought it, whatever.

It's a bit of a long shot, isn't it?

Yeah, but it's not an everyday item, is it, Syd?

It's not my line.

CHARLOTTE: "My dearest Clare, I was much troubled during the journey to Venice, not by the vicissitudes of foreign travel, but by the manner of our parting.

I fear that in my regard for you, I raised false expectations which I know, by my nature, I'm incapable of gratifying."

Cold feet.

Did a runner.

[ Clears throat ] "I know no man, sweet Clare, who would not covet the warmth of your affection.

If blame is to be attached, it lies in my own intolerable vacillation and uncertainty."

This sounds like someone who proposed, got cold feet, and piddled off to Italy.

Is it giving you ideas?

Why would you say that?

I met your friend Jane Felsham today.

Mm.

She's rather nice.

Yes, she's an old and valued friend.

Really?

I always had the feeling she was the love of your life.

So, her being here does make a difference.

A difference to what you asked me the other night.

You never gave me an answer.

I'm terribly sorry, Charlotte, but we're running late.

Organizing committee for the dance.

I'll see you outside?

Mm-hmm.

I'll give you an answer when I'm sure you mean the question.

LOVEJOY: "My dearest Clare, I fear that in my regard for you I raised false expectations..." Lovejoy.

LOVEJOY: "...which I know by my nature I am incapable of gratifying.

I know no man, sweet Clare..." Sweet Charlotte, sweet Jane.

Lovejoy, I think I've noticed something.

Yeah?

This handwriting is different from the letters.

-I think it's Clare's.

-Hmm?

A poem she copied out.

"Trust thou thy Love: If she be proud..." "Is she not sweet?"

That's Ruskin, I think.

What?

John Ruskin, 19th century English poet.

Keep on reading.

BETH: "Bosomed deep among the loitering banks, As if, enamored of the scene, For a livelong summer day Should here relax that angry frown and soothe to slumber lay her down Amid the vine-clad banks."

Yeah, that's definitely Ruskin.

What year is it?

1845.

Yeah, that's about right.

Now, where's it from?

Pensione Seguso, Venezia.

Here it is.

Venice.

Part of his momentous tour to Italy.

And then...six years later, he got married, but not to our Clare.

So, what are you saying?

I'm saying that the "John" in these letters could be John Ruskin.

Get these over to your friends at Fitzwilliam.

Get a sample of Ruskin's handwriting.

If they match, we're in clover, kid.

So, you feeling better, are you?

Oh, yeah.

Would you like to order now, sir, or would you rather wait for the lady?

No, I'll wait.

I'm sure she won't be long.

Certainly, sir.

Oh, Lovejoy, I'm terribly sorry, but I've broken down.

Well, I could always -- JANE: No, you can't come to get me.

I've got to wait for the AA.

It's my sister's car.

I can't just leave it.

On, Janey, I was really looking forward to seeing you and having a chat.

I know.

Me too, but I'll see you at the dance tonight, won't I?

Mm.

ADDEY: America's the biggest market, but the problem is getting the stuff over there.

Amsterdam pays less, but it's much safer.

Lovejoy?

Things looking up?

Wouldn't have thought Le Manoir would have been your customary watering hole.

Nor yours, Brolly.

I thought you bank types usually went to The Pizzeria in Market Street.

We've met, have we?

Yeah, at Felsham Hall.

You thought I was nicking apples.

I don't think our friend over there wants me to buy that house.

You will leave him without a roof over his head.

Maybe I could offer him something.

He could accompany my wife around the countryside, -picking out armchairs.

-[ Chuckles ] You haven't closed the sale yet, have you, Brolly?

I may have another customer for you.

Lady Felsham.

-Lady Felsham?

-Who's this?

She was married to the original owner.

The Felshams have owned the place for over 300 years.

I don't much care if they've been there since Boadicea.

If I want that place, I'll buy it.

How's the Montrachet?

The Montrachet's weighty but crisp.

Well, maybe we'll try one.

Tell you what.

Try this one.

[ "Achy Breaky Heart" plays ] ♪ You can tell the world you never was my girl ♪ ♪ You can burn my clothes up when I'm gone ♪ ♪ You can tell your friends just what a fool I've been ♪ ♪ And laugh and joke about me on the phone ♪ ♪ You can tell my arms go back to the farm ♪ Care to dance, Tink?

I thought you'd never ask.

♪ Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips ♪ ♪ They won't be reaching out for you no more ♪ Who did Janey come with?

I think it's her solicitor and his wife.

Looks good, though, doesn't she?

So does Charlotte.

Hmm?

[ Laughter ] Fancy a real drink?

Oh, I'm glad to be out of there for five minutes.

This is my most unfavorite night of the year.

Every dealer, divvy, faker, forger, barker, door-knocker, and cloth-jobber we've ever known all in one room at the same time, wearing bow ties.

Ugh!

Well, it may be my last.

Hmm?

The pub need an answer by tomorrow.

Ah.

Oh, it's about time, Lovejoy, before I become an antique myself.

You could always join the band.

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Hmm?

No, really.

I...

I dreamt I was lot 52 at an auction and couldn't even make my own reserve.

Oh, Tink.

Oh.

[ Rowdy banter ] Do you really see yourself dealing with rowdys and hoorays like that every night?

That scarf those guys are wearing, what is it?

Local rugby club.

Old Corinthians.

Oh.

CHARLOTTE: Does Lovejoy know about this?

Nobody does, well, except my sister and now you.

From what I hear, you're sort of involved with Lovejoy.

Yes.

Well, I don't know what you've heard, but we never were.

Involved.

Really?

Not in the way that people thought we were.

As everyone assumed we were lovers, I suppose we might as well have been.

But I was married at the time.

I'm rather old-fashioned about those sort of things.

The trouble with women like us is we think we can change people like Lovejoy.

I used to find ignoring him was the easiest way to upset him.

Oh, yes.

It drives him crazy.

'Cause he's so self-centered.

Oh, he's quite vain.

God, yes.

Can't pass a mirror.

I think it's time I broke you two up.

Would one of you care to dance?

You can't tango, Lovejoy.

He can, actually.

[ Tango music plays ] Is that steam coming out of their noses?

The tango was outlawed in Argentina for years, for its sexually explicit nature.

I think after tonight, it'll be outlawed in East Anglia.

Syd!

Syd!

Hello, me old mate.

There's a nice bit of copper on the roof up there.

Thanks very much, Syd, but I'm not that desperate.

Not yet anyway.

So, what's up?

I got the message.

Oh, yeah.

I had a bit of luck.

I showed your metal detector to a guy in Cambridge.

He rang a dealer in Norwich, gave him the serial number.

Turns out he remembers selling it to a bloke called Brolly.

MAN: Back and hold.

Hit them low.

Hup!

Back and hold.

Hup!

Back and hold.

Hup!

Last couple.

Hup!

Hup!

Okay, boys.

In you go.

[ Indistinct conversations ] How's it going?

All right?

There's a bloke over there looking for you.

-Get the beers.

-Okay, no problem.

All right.

What's all this about?

-Very impressive.

-Thank you.

Take a look at this.

I bought it off a kid who found it with one of those metal-detector things.

Is it valuable?

It's worth about 80 quid.

That's not gonna help your overdraft.

No, Jeff, listen, I've a proposition to put to you.

I know I can find a lot more of 'em, okay?

You got those beers in yet?

Listen, five minutes of your time, okay?

This is gold, right?

It's Henry II.

Now, this was worth a fortune in those days.

Enough to feed a family for six months.

So?

So you didn't lose something like this, right?

If you did, the whole parish went out looking for it.

Where's this leading?

Well, there's got to be a horde of them, you see.

It could be a find like that Roman one a couple of years ago.

Remember?

What did it come to?

1.75 million or something.

Do you know where the kid found them?

Yeah, exactly.

You know that dig near Wenham?

I've driven past it.

Yeah, well, it's in that same field.

It's in the northeast corner where the wall meets the road right now.

I was thinking if the bank could stake me to some proper equipment, we could...

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you come and see me in the bank on Monday morning?

I'll see what I can do.

Great.

If you know who owned the metal detector, why didn't you give his name to the police?

Might wriggle out of it.

He could say that it had been stolen from his garage or his car.

Well, we've got our lights in now, so it's not likely to happen again.

-[ Beeping ] -There.

What's that?

-Take this.

-Where's the shovel?

Come here.

Go on, mate.

-[ Beeping ] -What's that?

Yes, it's there.

Come on, give us it here.

There it is.

There's something there.

-There it is!

-Bingo!

[ Clinking ] Watch out!

Watch out!

Watch out!

Jeff!

Jeff!

Jeff!

Come on.

This way!

Right, then.

SYD: Oi, you.

Don't even think about it.

Evening, Mr. Brolly.

Tea and biscuits?

No.

You found your own buyers, have you?

Don't be cynical.

Some people won't be very happy about this.

I mean, I'm just a small cog in a very big wheel.

That's not my problem, Jeffrey.

Mine is the back rent.

It's forgotten.

And I don't want Addey buying the house.

That's out of my hands.

There's been a better offer?

Is there anything else?

My overdraft.

Your scarf.

I always thought these nighthawks were tearaways or kids on the dole, and all the time, it's the bank manager and his mates from the rugby club.

I told him you wouldn't prosecute, Sam, providing they gave us all the stuff they'd nicked recently.

Where do they keep it?

In his bank.

Hah!

"How beautiful upon the mountain are the feet of she that bringeth good news."

-Ruskin?

-Ruskin.

-Confirmed.

-Yes!

Yes.

I've got a signed authentication from the curator of the Fitzwilliam.

Oh, that's great, Beth.

There you go, Sam.

Give that to Charlotte.

Tell her we'll stick the letters in tomorrow's auction.

Right.

So, you nailed the shite hawks, then?

Actually, it's nighthawks, Beth, but on the other hand...

I'm sorry about lunch yesterday.

-It's really -- -It's really -- Go on.

No.

I was just going to say how wonderful it is to see you.

Funny.

I was going to say exactly the same thing.

And I wanted to tell you that I'm not going to buy the house.

Oh?

I know how much you want me to, Lovejoy.

You want me back there as Lady Felsham.

And we'd be up to our old games again, finding antiques in out-of-the-way places.

What's wrong with that?

It's the past.

What's wrong with the past?

Nice place to be.

It included Tinker and Eric, you and me.

All those memories.

It wouldn't be fair to Robert.

Robert?

We met in America, but he wants to come back to England and so do I.

He produces plays.

A totally different world, really.

Anyway, we're getting married.

Quite soon, actually.

And so I suppose it makes more sense to live in London.

Wow.

I've thought about you so much since you left.

And most of what I've thought about is... is wasted opportunities.

The chances that don't come round again.

After all, you and I were almost... We were always "almost," Lovejoy.

There must be a reason for that.

You'd make a good team, you and Charlotte.

She told me last night, and I told her about Robert.

You threw me a real curve, coming back.

I know.

Be happy, Jane.

You too.

And lot number 43, ladies and gentlemen.

A series of love letters written to Lady Clare Hemphill between 1845 and 1847.

It's established that the author is John Ruskin, Victorian art dealer and social theorist.

Now, this is an extremely exciting discovery, ladies and gentlemen.

So, who'll start the bidding at £6,000?

Do I have £6,000 anywhere?

£5,000, then?

£5,000.

Thank you, sir.

£5,500?

£5,500.

And £6,000?

£6,000.

£6,500?

Do I have £6,500 anywhere?

All right, then.

£250?

£6,250.

And five.

And £6,750.

And £7,000?

£7,000.

Thank you.

And £7,250?

And £7,500?

Ruskin's going through the roof.

CHARLOTTE: Do I have £7,750?

Thank you.

And £8,000.

LOVEJOY: It says, "Cavendish and Son."

Where's the son?

I'm the daughter.

Boy, oh, boy, that must have taken some doing.

Was your tail rattling as you slid across the floor?

That's all I am to you, isn't it?

Another punter.

Well, if that's what you want out of this relationship, fine!

What you did for Tink, I think it was wonderful.

Think nothing of it.

CHARLOTTE: ...selling these Victorian letters, then, for £8,000.

Going once, going twice.

Marry me!

Yes.

Gone.

[ Fizzing ] Shut up.

I can't find the roof of my mouth, Tink.

Stag parties at our age are ridiculous.

When I run that pub, Lovejoy, I'm coming off the sauce.

It'd be a pity to drink the first year's profit.

Nelson Mandela's president of South Africa, you're going on the wagon, and I'm getting married.

Here's to the three of us.

Huh?

Yeah.

I've got your best man's present here, Tink.

Close your eyes, please.

Thank you.

This is to say, "Thanks for all the years, thanks for being there, and thanks for being my best friend."

You can open them now.

Oh.

Do you like it?

Yeah, well, you can thank Beth for the artwork, and we thought the rank was appropriate.

Oh, dear.

What?

Well, you know I've always told you I was a major in the Rifles?

Actually, I was a corporal in the Catering Corps.

I've always known that, Tink.

Have you?

Yeah, you've told me a thousand times.

Have I?

We thought Corporal Dill wouldn't cut the mustard at the Pilchard Inn.

And what is it you always say about, "Walk in any pub in England and ask for the major"?

You'll get one of two replies.

"He's in the other bar, sir," or "You've just missed him, but he'll be back this evening."

Oh.

Oh, Janey.

Eric!

Oh!

How lovely.

Where's the motorbike?

Oh, I've sold that 'cause I'm not the wild one no more.

I've got to look to the future.

Plan ahead.

Like Lovejoy, really.

Pretty wife, Eric.

Oh, well, we're not actually clergified, you know, yet.

Still... How old's the baby?

I'm not really sure.

No, it's not mine, you see.

No.

Oh.

Fiesta's mine, though.

[ Horn honks ] Have you got the... Of course I have.

You getting cold feet?

I can't tell, Tink.

I don't have any feeling below my knees.

As long as you have feelings above 'em, you'll be all right.

Are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this?

Absolutely.

100%.

I think.

TINKER: "If there is doubt, where is truth?"

Earl of Rochester?

Chinese restaurant.

Excuse me, I think you should have turned left for Felsham Hall.

I know.

I spoke to Dad this morning.

He sounded fine.

[ Panting ] It's Lovejoy.

Yes?

He's been abducted.

What?

Oh, please.

Oh, you can't still be upset about Felsham Hall.

What I'm upset about is you took money out of my pocket.

I did?

What you took from Brolly should have come to me.

Oh, you're the one that fences the stuff overseas.

It's not my principal occupation, but it's important enough for me to get the dead needle when Boy Scouts like you can't mind their own business.

In.

[ Organ plays, guests murmuring ] [ Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" plays ] [ Music stops ] We all know what's happened.

Let's be grateful it was sooner rather than later.

[ Clears throat ] Now, there's lots of lovely food and champagne across the road, so I suggest we all go over there to celebrate the avoidance of what would obviously have been a disaster.

There but for the grace of God.

What?

Oh, nothing, darling.

[ Indistinct conversations ] [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Where are we going?

ADDEY: Jersey!

I'm supposed to be getting married.

I just wanted to ruin your day, Lovejoy.

LOVEJOY: Addey was really choked when he found that all he could get out of me was a receipt from the British Museum.

Still, bruises don't show.

[ Winces ] Charlotte's in New York now.

Beth's in Cambridge.

Tink's in Devon.

And Janey, she's in Hampstead with Roger.

Or was it Robert?

Anyway, one thing they all taught me.

You got to move on.

The past is a foreign country, and Lovejoy doesn't live there anymore.

Be happy, Jane.

You too.