(THE 11TH HOUR Program Opening) (applause) Thank you for being with me at my 11th Hour.

You know that I've always preached that no one should ever cry alone and no one should ever die alone.

And the wonder of it is that I have one more hour of life and a captive audience.

(laughter) So I'm in paradise.

You know I've always had an idea that I want my epitaph to read "Here lies Leo who died living."

And so this next hour I'm going to really be into living.

And you know, I talked to many people about coming and talking about my final hour.

And they said, "Oh, Leo, how morbid."

But you know, it isn't morbid...it's only morbid if you've never lived.

Then it becomes morbid.

But if you've celebrated life, like I've celebrated life, there's nothing morbid about death.

You invite it in and you say, "How you doing kid?

Now whatever surprises you have I'm ready for them."

And I truly am.

And the wonderful thing about it is that death is so democratic.

(laughter) You know it goes, it comes to everybody.

It doesn't matter how rich or poor, how wise or dumb.

You know how amazing you are, how famous you are, it doesn't matter.

Death comes and it comes at any time.

It could be anybody's 11th Hour.

And that's, that's not morbid.

You know recently I was in Chicago and I was hunting for the post office.

And so I saw a man standing by a bus stop and I went over and I said, "Could you please tell me where the post office is?"

And he turned and he said, "Hey, I know you," he said, "You're Leo Buscaloose."

(laughter) And I said, "Ya, that's right."

And he said, "What are you doing in Chicago man?"

I said, "Well, I'm here to do a lecture."

And he said, "What are you going to be talking about?"

And I said, "I'm going to be talking about finding your way to love."

And he said, "Boy, that's amazing.

You're going to talk about finding your way to love and you can't even find your way to the post office."

(laughter) So you know, if you think I'm here as some kind of an authority about life or love, your mistaken.

I'm not an authority on anything.

But,... in fact, I am suspicious of experts.

You know what I found out about experts over the years, is that they're usually no wiser then any of us, except they're a little more organized and they have slides.

(laughter & applause) But you know, several years ago I had a fantastic experience.

I was taken by some friends to a special church in Los Angeles and they said, "Leo, this church was meant for you because everybody loves each other, they hug each other and they sing and they celebrate and they dance.

You're going to love this place."

So we went down there.

We walked in the door, and sooner I walked in, it was true.

Everybody came up and they took my hand they said, "Oh welcome brother."

And they put their arms around me and they took me down to a bench and we sat down together on this bench and they held my hand.

I thought, I'm in paradise, this is really what I've been looking for all my life.

You know, we are so afraid to touch each other.

I approach people like this and they start screaming, you know, "What's he gonna do to me?"

I'm not going to do anything to you, I'm going to put my arms around you, I'm going to say, "Isn't it nice as one human being to relate to another?"

But in this place everything went...they were dancing and they were celebrating and we were having the best time.

It was really what religion is all about.

A celebration of life, a celebration of people, a celebration of beauty, a celebration of joy, and I was really ecstatic.

And finally the minister got up and he said, "Brothers and sisters, Brother Jonathan is going to give the sermon today and he's going to speak on faith."

And I thought, oh great, I love faith, I can't wait to hear what he says.

And so little Brother Jonathan got out of the congregation, and I wish you could have seen him.

His eyes were dancing.

You know there were little figures in there all.

He was emanating a marvelous feel for life, and he was just about so big.

You know, he had no hair, and he got up in front of everybody and he smiled this big broad smile, and he folded his little hands, and he closed his eyes and he said, "Faith, faith, faith, faith, faith, faith," and he sat down.

(laughter) And that's the best talk on faith I've ever heard in my life.

And I thought, you know, some day Leo you're going to have enough guts to stand before an audience since my message is love, love, love, and you're simply going to say love, love, love, love, and then sit down.

But don't believe it, I'm going to stay up here for a while longer.

You know, one thing I learned many many years ago that really helped me that I was able to put into three little words...synthesize, compromise, and empathize.

And by saying synthesize, what I mean is bring things together in life.

Don't be scattered.

Focus in on how magical this life really is.

And that it is the only one you'll ever have as far as you know.

And so it was meant to be celebrated in a most wondrous way that you can.

So synthesize in and love everything with a passion...and I mean everything.

And you will be so surprised what this does for you and your life and all the people in it.

Love every one.

And you know, I know that you say, "Oh now, really Leo, love every one?"

And I'll never forget one of the great experiences in my life was being on a late night talk show.

And I'm not going to identify the host, it will be up to you to guess, and you will have to suffer and worry about it all the time.

But any way, I came in on this show and I was the last guest of the evening.

And I came in and sat down and the first thing this gentleman said to me was, "I understand that you say you've got to love every body."

And I thought, oh that's a nice start.

And I said, "Yes, I think so, you should love everybody."

He said, "That's stupid...you can't love everybody and you shouldn't love every-body and it's unrealistic."

So in my naivete I said, "Well, who would you exclude?"

(laughter) He got mad.

He got pale.

And then he said, "Well there are people I just don't like."

And I said, "Oh, that's too bad."

I said, "You know I think if you had an opportunity to get to know them you might find some nice things about them."

It started going downhill from there...(laughter)...and it went down, it went down and went down, went down.

And you know you have heard how popular it is for guests to walk out on the host.

In this case the host walked out on me...(laughter)...And those of you who saw it remember that as the titles were going on there was Leo sitting on there, on this stage, all by himself.

(laughter) All I did was say we should love everybody.

And here was somebody who was furious because I had said we should love everybody.

But I really should think, I really suggest that you think who it is you should exclude and then ask yourself the question of why?

And then I think you should love yourself, and you know this really bothers people.

We talk about egocentricity...but you know it isn't true, most of us really don't like ourselves.

And if push comes to shove you would much rather be someone else.

And that's a pity because you can't be.

No matter how hard you try, what you are is what there is.

Hug it.

Love it.

Stand before the mirror and say, "mirror, mirror on the wall who's the sweetest one of all?"

You are you sweet old thing.

(laughter) And you know, you don't do that because you are on an egocentric trip.

The only thing you can give to anybody else, including those people you love with a passion, is what you are.

So if you dedicate yourself to making yourself the most wonderful, the most incredible, the most unique, the most magnificent person there is, not to stand in front of the mirror, but to give it to everybody else.

That's a beautiful goal in life.

I want to give a perfect me.

And so you really have to start that way, you know.

It starts with you.

And as much as you would like to be somewhere else or someone else, you can't be.

And so use what you have and the resources that you have to develop that and then give it away and find out what happens.

There is someone for everyone.

You may not be able to see it but there it is.

And then love learning.

You know there is so much in this world to know.

We could live to be five thousand years old and we would not know everything.

And that's the joy.

You can never be bored.

Open the windows, open the doors, see like you've never seen, touch like you've never touch, smell like you've never smell, taste like you never taste, hug like you never hugged, and then there's more and then there's more and then there's more.

It's so wonderful.

You know I had a wonderful Papa.

Many of you know that I wrote a lot of things about Papa, but Papa was an Italian immigrant, he could barely speak English.

He worked hard all of his life, he gave so much.

He gave love like I've never seen it.

He use to give zucchini all the time, he had more zucchini...my mother had to be the most creative cook in the world to cook zucchini in ten thousand ways.

But Papa was so generous, and he loved learning because he himself was denied formal learning.

Even though he was one of the wisest people I've ever known.

He had only five years of education, but you know what we used to do.

He says, "To the greatest sin in the world," he used to tell his kids and he had a lot of bambini.

And he used to say, "The greatest sin in the world is to wake up in the morning as stupid as you went to bed at night."

(laughter) "And so you learn, all of my bambini must learn something new every day."

We thought that stank.

And we'd ask our friends does your father insist you learn something new every day?

They'd say we don't even see our father.

Well we did because Papa always said, "Nobody leaves the dinner table until we've shared."

And so we would sit there, you know, mama would cook a few storms, so much pasta you couldn't see your sister across the table.

(laughter) And then you'd eat and you'd drink and you'd have a good time and you'd talk and nobody split.

Everybody sat there.

And after it was over he would go through this ritual of saying to each of his kids, "What did you learn today?"

I remember when we would get ready to go eat we would be in the bathroom washing our hands and I would say to my sister, "What did you learn today?"

And she would say nothing.

And I'd say, "You'd better learn something."

(laughter) So we'd get the encyclopedia and we'd flip to something.

And you know you find something really world shaking like the population of Nepal (laughter) is three million bla bla bla, you know.

So you would sit down, and after it was over Papa would push himself away from the table and he would look at his bambini.

He'd look at us.

You know I'm convinced that we're all dying of loneliness because nobody looks at us.

They look through us, they look around us, they look under us, they do things for us when all we really want to do is be seen.

You know mama used to take our cheeks, in her hands like this, and she would say, "Oh, you're so cute."

(laughter) You'd say, "Mama, you're killing me, why are you doing," "Shut-up" that was her favorite expression, "Shut-up" she'd say, "I'm a looking at you."

(laughter) So Papa would look around at his bambini and he'd say, "You know I got to look at you, because you are all changing so fast that one day I won't even know who you are any more if I don't look."

And it's true.

You know, in Love class, I used to have a simple exercise.

Here, remember, twenty, twenty-two-year-old university kids and I'd say to them, "What is the color of your mother's eyes?"

And you know, that eighty percent of them weren't sure.

Twenty-two years with this incredible woman and they didn't know the color of her eyes were.

I'd say, "Go home take her cheeks in your hands"...(laughter)..."What are you doing?"...

"Shut-up, I want to look at your eyes mama."

But any way, Papa would say there, he'd say, "Okay, what did you learn...Hey, Felice," which of course you know is my name.

"Hey, Felice, what did you learn today?"

You'd say, "The population of Nepal is three million four hundred..." And nothing was ever insignificant for this man.

He'd say, "Huh."

(laughter) You'd say he's crazy, I mean I have a crazy Papa.

He'd say, "Three million four hundred sixty...but that's wonderful."

Then he would say, "Mama, did you know that?"

And my mama sitting down at the other end of the table said, "Not only didn't I know it but I don't even know where the hell Nepal is."

(laughter) So we get an encyclopedia and we would look it up.

And the wonder is, we were learning together.

And I'm convinced that those people who learn together stay together.

We were learning.

And you know even now, sometimes I work ninety- seven hours a day (laughter) and I go to bed at night and I'm just about ready to go to sleep and I see Papa's face, and he says, "Hey Felice, what did you learn today?"

And I try to figure out what I learned and if I can't learn it usually I have to get up out of bed and get an encyclopedia and go to work.

So never stop learning.

And then you know love, frustration, and conflict too.

We're a crazy country if you're not giddily happy there must be something wrong.

You watch television, you know people go insane over Post Toasties.

(laughter) They're just giddy over breakfast.

And you wonder want's the matter with me, why am I not giddy over everything that's happening?

And if you aren't happy you immediately pop pills, you take drugs, you do all kinds of things to turn yourself on when there's so much stimulation you don't really need it.

But accept frustration and conflict as a part of life because it is a part of life and a very important one.

It's the part of life from which you will learn.

You know I had a wonderful little dog, many years ago, his name was Faux Pas.

And it was just that too.

He was a little white dog and he was so brilliant.

You know that when I was house breaking him, I just took him out in the garden, once we had a little doggy door, and I said, "Now Faux Pas the world is your toilet."

(laughter) "But not out there, not in this house."

And he understood, he said okay, and so from then on, every time Faux Pas had to poop, it was through the door out in the garden.

And then I, on Saturdays, in which was one of my few free days, I'd have to get a rake and go out and clean up the poop.

And I want to tell you I didn't like that on Saturdays.

I thought of a thousand other things I'd rather do, but Faux Pas loved it.

(laughter) And his tail would wag.

You know he was so excited and we'd go out, and you remember when you were a kid you played that game you're getting hot.

You know as you're getting closer to the desired things.

And he would tell me.

I'd go toward the tree and his tail would start wagging...(laughter)...come on Leo you're getting warm.

So I'd get out there with the rake and it was always there and so we were doing it, one day he had me way in the back of the yard and I was saying, "Faux Pas, this time you're all together wrong."

Oh no, the tail was getting warmer and warmer.

And I got back there, and just as I was about to find it, I looked over to the side and I saw a great big gigantic red rose.

It looked like Italian velvet.

I didn't even know it was back there.

And all at once it flashed in my mind...good grief, if it hadn't been for the poop I'd never have seen the rose.

(laughter & applause) You know, so don't be afraid of a little poop.

And you know, learn to laugh at yourself.

Everyone is so serious nowadays, everything, is serious.

Everything is hilarious.

The world is crazy and you're only going to survive if you're crazy too.

Only the insane ones are going to survive, all the rest are gonna go to a nut house.

(laughter) Look at human behavior...You know I love to take about what I think is the most incredible human behavior, elevator behavior.

(laughter) Have you ever seen people, including ourselves, in an elevator?

You know they walk in and they turn around this way...(laughter)...who ever told you to do that?

And then you sit there and you're really uncomfortable because you don't dare touch anybody.

So if you touch someone, someone may scream and the only thing left to do is everybody is sitting there counting the numbers...seven, six, five, four, three...I just love to get into an elevator and turn straight on and say, "Hi," ...(laughter)...then they get to the sixth floor, the door opens, and everybody leaves.

There's a cuckoo man in the elevator.

But you know I once heard that all saints are transcendental clowns.

And that's true.

I mean make people laugh...you laugh.

If you need to have something to laugh about just look at yourself, you're hilarious.

(laughter) And then you know, compromise.

You know we really forget we go around acting as if the world was made for us.

And boy do we get mad when everything doesn't go just exactly as we planned it.

Next time notice that.

You know you walk in and there's a line somewhere, and you say, "I hate the sight of lines."

(laughter) Well there's nothing you can do about it.

You can kill those people...(laughter)...so get in line and have fun.

"Gads lady you have the most beautiful hair."

Or look in the basket in that line in the market and say, "Boy are you going to have a good dinner...you got a place for me?"

Heaven knows, you may meet the man of your dreams.

(laughter) But we want everything to go our way.

And we've forgotten that this is a world where you really find happiness when you learn to give a little and take a little.

And you know I learned that in a wonderful way.

I love fall leaves.

Those of you who know me and my work and my books.

I'm always talking about fall leaves.

It a very significant time in my life and I love the fall when all the leaves burst.

And so I'm one of those that when the leaves I don't rake them up.

Well that just annoyed the hell out of my neighbors.

(laughter) Because here...you'll have to imagine my house.

Here's the two neighbors, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.

And then here's Leo's house dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty.

(laughter) And that's how they saw it, you know.

It's wonderful, it's my house, it's my yard...and I used to have a seminar where I always had my students to my house and we would sit there on the floor and we'd talk about all these things and changing the world and making the world a better place, etc.

There was a knock on the door, it was my two nice neighbors and they are nice, and they said, " You know Leo, I'd wish you'd clean the leaves."

I said, "I didn't know you didn't like the leaves or I would have cleaned them, I tell you I really would have.

I'll do it right way."

And they said, "Well that's alright,"..."No, no, I will".

And so I walked back in the living room and all my students were furious."

"Cop-out.

Why didn't you tell them to mind their own business, it's your yard?"

And using mama's best technique I said, "Shut-up...(laughter)...get out there and pick-up those leaves, put them in a bucket, bring'em in and dump'em on the living room floor.

They can't yet tell me I can't do that."

They thought I was kidding.

"You don't want the leaves?"...

"Oh yes I do!"

We went out and got them and brought'em in, dumped'em on the living room floor and sat on them and had the best seminar we ever had.

I kept them there for weeks.

(laughter) You know I had my leaves and my neighbors had their clean, clean, clean.

And everybody won just by a tiny bit of compromise.

And then let's empathize.

Let's recognize that everybody, if we got to know them, would have something to teach us that we would better understand them with.

Give them a chance.

Learn to listen.

Learn to appreciate.

And then I think, the final thing I would like to share with you, is being thankful.

I mean, what a pity that we have so much and we so seldom say thank you.

One of my assignments was for the kids to go home and say to their mothers, "Mom, thanks a lot."

We lost more mothers that way.

(laughter) But you know I had a Buddhist teacher that had the most wonderful things...After our exercises, where we were talking about philosophy, we would all stand up.

He'll say, "now let us rise and be thankful for if we didn't find the answer to all of the world's problems today, at least we found a few.

And even if we didn't find a few, at least we didn't get sick.

And if we did get sick at least we didn't die.

So let's be thankful."

I love that.

I've been so thankful for my life.

To me life has been a continual celebration.

And I have seen my life and all the wonder in it as God's gift to me.

And how I've lived it and shared it and enhanced it is my gift to God.

And I've strived, really, in my lifetime to make it a perfect gift.

And if I've failed at least God knows I've tried.

Thank you for sharing this time with me.

(applause) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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1991 Samuel A. Safarian, Front Range Educational Media Corporation and The Denver Center for the Performing Arts For information about obtaining audio or videocassettes or transcripts 11TH HOUR .O.

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