Funding for this program was made possibl by the Staunton Farm Foundation.

Thank you.

I'd never seen a dead body before I went to Iraq.

And there's.

There's a guy laying there easily, like 15 or 20 bullets in a. Five dead and five wounded I felt like it was my fault.

We would kill them by the hundreds.

When these veterans came home, the war came home with them.

I think about it every day.

It's almost like a little movie right in your head.

That's.

That's playing over and over.

The sights, sounds.

Even the smells of battle have left their scars on generations of veterans.

Scars are parents an grandparents rarely mentioned.

I didn't talk about the war and all for years.

I would not tell anybody I was a Vietnam vet, but in recent years, men and women who've served are finally talking about the emotional wounds of war.

The public looks at you as a as a war hero.

If only they knew that I'm still fighting a war within myself.

It was hard for me to verbalize when I got home and I'd be in the middle of night, I wake up, hollered pretty much one destructive behavior to another suicidal ideation, and I come home and, alcohol tastes like water.

I had homicidal ideatio messing around with other women.

I needed to do something.

And so they did.

By taking a step, not enough veterans are ready or able to take.

Today, retreats for younge vets are showing great success in healing, and you might be surprised it brings back memories to go inside this PTSD support grou for veterans of World War Two.

You remember these things like they happened yesterday.

That feeling of brotherhood, that feeling of bein with those who understand you.

Accepting is tremendously therapeutic.

It's going to help read your brainwaves.

We can monitor their sleep, sleep patterns, activities of their brain when they're sleeping.

Now there is new hope through promising research, better treatment.

And thanks to veterans who are serving their country yet again, I really passionate about helping other veterans avoid the same pitfalls I did by reaching out and helping others.

I still don't feel I'm at home here as they travel a long road home.

My name is Anthony Kinzinger.

I'm 25 years old.

I'm an Iraq War veteran.

When I looked at myself two years ago, I was embarrassed of the person I saw because I was, you know going down a really wrong path that I, that I promised myself I never would.

You know, using drugs and alcohol I had a DUI.

I'm divorced.

I was homeless veteran for a while and really running from my problems instead of facing them and overcoming them.

Tony Kinzinger.

He's a different man in the mirror today, but he's not afraid to reflect on the darker times, the trouble that hit har after deployment, the challenges that started long before the military.

Especially being you know, a high school dropout, a child of two substance abusers and, you know, growing up extremely poor after finishing ninth grade, Tony quit school and work to help his family.

Still, he got his GED and started working on an associate's degree at a community college.

He had a steady girlfriend too.

We were best friends.

We did everything together.

We never wanted to be with anybody else, and it was the best relationship you could ever imagine.

I actually got married, two weeks before I left for Iraq.

Tony had joined the army for the benefits and the pay.

He soon found the stability he'd never had, moving from home to home in small towns south of Pittsburgh.

Because I was a really, really undisciplined person before I came in.

And I was kind of one of those look out for yourself type of people.

Definitely.

Everything you do in the military, for the people on your left and right.

I learned that really quickly, became disciplined really quickly and got, you know, really good physical shape as well, which kind of changes you outlook on on everything I got.

I was assigned to an Iraqi police battalion.

So I trained Iraqi policemen to be policemen.

And then I was also acted as liaison officer between the U.S.

forces and Iraqi forces.

Tony's experience in Iraq was not remarkably different from many others who served.

He lost friends.

Unfortunately, I had two friends that were that were killed in Iraq, one of them by his own hand, and then the other was, killed by a roadside bomb.

He was always on alert and just living in tha constant, hyper vigilant state.

He saw death.

I'd never seen a dead body before.

I went to Iraq.

Not not even a well preserved funeral.

Dead body.

I'd walk over to the truck and there's.

There's a guy laying there easily, like 15 or 20 bullets in him.

In the back of the truck was.

Yeah, well, after I talk and he took somebody else's life, the first time I used the weapon, it was, you know, a very, you know, traumatic experience for me.

I was a gunner on top of a Humvee.

There's an insurgent on the side of the road that had taken over a police checkpoint.

And he was in the police uniform and then pulled a weapon and was going to shoot at one of my fellow soldiers.

And I returned fir and killed the insurgent before he had a chance to injure any of us.

I did what was right in that situation, but unfortunately, it was.

Right isn't always right with you.

I was a different person afte I was forced to use my weapon.

Then another trauma.

Six months into his tour of duty, a non-combat injury sent him back to the States.

It was a gunshot wound right above my kneecap, and the damage was pretty significant.

I returned back to Fort Bliss and I was having issues.

I was drinking too much and I was having nightmares and I couldn't sleep ever.

But I didn't want to tell anybody because I wanted to.

I wanted to stay in the military.

I didn't want to do anythin that would jeopardize my career.

But the leg injury was bad, and that meant his military career was over.

After they found out I wasn't fit for military service.

It was a period of maybe 20 days that I, you know, I processed out of the Arm and I was back in Pennsylvania.

So is that for my entire adult life, I was a soldier.

That's I mean, that's that's all I was.

I was my identity.

And then after I got, you know, a little bit banged up or something like that, then I wasn't a soldier anymore.

And.

As soo as I got back to Pennsylvania, all my symptoms got worse.

Tony was still troubled b having killed an Iraqi insurgent and still having nightmares about the dead.

Whenever I think back on when seeing that body, I can still remember it was just like, just like yesterday.

Everything was, you know, hyper vivid colors.

It's you.

I could smell.

I could hear everything all over again.

I still see it all the time.

His marriage was in trouble, too.

Tony and Chelsea were having arguments.

Tony says he started them, usually over little things.

I make it into a huge fight and then it always kind of blew up into she would not understand me and then but didn't take any, didn't really take steps to try to understand what was going on with me.

Things would get worse.

Even though they were newlyweds, Tony started cheating.

At this point that the marriage was pretty bad.

We had, I was messing around with other women and, you know, again, staying out, drinking all night and stuff.

And when we got together, I wasn't that type of person.

So I came hom a completely different person.

And she wasn't happy with who I was now, and I wasn't happy with who I was now, but not unhappy enough to get help.

Tony was destroying his marriage and now he was destroying himself.

Yeah, I over ate a lot.

I was, you know, I gained about 80 pounds in, you know, the six months after I left the military and the anger got even worse.

And then I started drinking to deal with.

If I was drunk, I didn't hav nightmares because I'd pass out.

I had a lot of prescriptio pain pills that were, you know, prescribed, made for my injury.

But I started abusing those pills and all I did was just jump from one, you know, destructive behavior to another.

And I realized that I needed help.

I needed to talk to somebody.

I needed to get my experiences, my feelings out in the open instead of just keeping everything bottled up because I was ready to explode.

It was called many things before it was called PTSD, shellshock, battle fatigue, war neurosis, soldiers hard.

You can go back probably to the beginning of time, but nobody ever talked about it.

When somebody came home from war and was disturbed.

The way it was treated in the past was get a job, you'll be fine.

Nothing wrong with you.

You'll get over it.

The 4th of July.

You can go in the bedroom.

Here's a bottle.

Have a couple drinks.

You'll be okay.

Dan Ziff has treated veterans with combat related stress for nearly 30 years.

He's the clinical coordinator of the PTSD clinic in the VA.

Pittsburgh health care system.

Everyone comes home from war changed.

You can't go through war and not have some profound experience that happens to you in a war zone, to the effect that that experience impacts the individual's life.

That's where we come in.

One of the biggest challenges getting them in the door to begin with, particularly men.

There's the stigma.

If I ask for help, I'm less of a man in my mind that would have made me a weaker soldier, when in reality, asking for help actually is a tremendous sign of courage and strength.

This is to be expected when you come back and you just have to live with it.

My wife screwed up.

She was turned down ultimatums.

My bosses screwed up, you know, lost my job.

My friends are screwed up.

All the guys on the street are screwed up.

I'm perfectly fine.

A study by the Rand Corporatio called Invisible Wounds of War showed that nearly 20 of all military service members who returned from Ira and Afghanistan, about 300,000, and all reported symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder or major depression.

Yet only about half went for treatment.

Among the most common reasons veterans gave for not getting treatment, they were concerned about the side effects from medication.

They thought family and friends could help them cope, or they worried that getting mental health care would hurt their careers.

People in my unit wouldn' trust me anymore because, like, I can't even control my emotions.

How am I going to help them in battle?

And then the other thing is that I was worried of having like a crazy stamp on my on my family record.

And so they keep quiet, which for some troubled soldiers is the worst decision of all.

Another Rand study, called The War Within, reports that in 2001, there were ten suicides for every 100,000 military men and women.

By 2008.

That number had risen to 16.

Between his drinking and survivor's guilt.

Tony did have suicidal thoughts.

He never acted on them, but by this time he did have a DUI and his marriage was in serious trouble.

My son was born at the height of the worst trouble that me and my ex-wife were having, and we had decided to get divorced already.

But then, you know, I make the same decision.

I guess a lot of people do.

And we tried to stay together and work it ou because we were having a child.

You know, through the drinking.

She was there.

Even after she found out I cheated on her.

She was there.

But the cheating and drinking continued.

The marriage did not.

in my life gotten divorced.

And I came out and I ran into some financial issue and I didn't know how to do it.

And I was embarrassed to ask for help.

I didn't know who to ask for help from, and so Tony ended up homeless for more than a month.

And so I would sleep in my office, or I would sleep in the car.

I would shower at friend's house.

I I'm very good at surviving.

Well, yo the last time we talked about me trying to push myself.

Dan Ziff has counseled thousands of service people during his years at the VA.

He says about 15% are forced into treatment because of total breakdowns or trouble with the law.

But most take that important step on their own.

Something has happened that has shaken their awareness where they can't be in denial any longer.

For Tony it was the memory of his parents who he describes as substance abusers.

He didn't want his son Dominic remembering him the same way with the ducks.

I took a good look at myself and like my parents and what I had come from, and realized that I was going to be the same thing as is everythin I didn't like about about them.

And I just didn't want my son to grow up embarrassed of his dad like I was.

Oftentimes, someone who is younger, who's just coming in, will stil have their emotional armor up.

And so the staff at the PTSD clinic helps veterans work through those emotional barriers.

Veterans may have false notions or fear about what goes on behind closed doors.

I don't think I've shared my story, but in most cases, the healing is simply in the talking.

We may have a cup of coffee.

Review what's happened since the last session.

What they're working on, how they're feeling, what blocks they feel they may be having, some ways that they may be able to get over those obstacles.

The symptoms of combat related PTSD are usually divided into three categories.

Hyper arousal.

That's usually the first thin that we see being angry or too aggressive.

Having panic attacks, being hyper vigilant, having exaggerated reactions.

A box along the side of the road.

When we're driving home, they may swerve across three lanes of traffic to avoid that box because they might think it's an IED, whereas you and I will drive right past it.

Other symptoms can be classified as intrusive things like nightmares, flashbacks, distressing memories, feeling anxious or fearful.

Oftentimes, these veterans liv very quiet lives of isolation, and that's considered avoidant behavior.

Loss of memory.

Feeling detached.

Restricting emotions.

Losing interest.

They don't want to be in large groups.

They don't want to go to the shopping mall.

They're perfectly content living lives of invisibility by now.

Tony was living alone in small apartments in and around Pittsburgh.

During that time, he made the lif changing decision to get help.

I waited two and a half years to really talk to somebody, and whenever I did talk to somebody, I want to jump in with both feet and really make some significant strides.

And he did at the VA in Pittsburgh, seeing a psychiatrist o counselor several times a month, just hearing the diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder was a big step.

Now it had a had a name.

It wasn't just like a phantom anymore.

Whenever I realized that my symptoms were part of a disorder, it kind of made me feel a little better because I realized I'm not crazy.

You know, I'm not the only person going through this.

This is a normal reaction to, you know, the crazy things that we saw.

Music was one of the initial things that did that the VA psychiatrist had recommended to me as an outlet.

I didn't take her advice for a while, and then I started playing guitar again.

Whenever I picked up the music again and started writing agai and playing, I felt really good.

And that's where I go now.

But Tony is about to go much further, serving his country in a way he never expected.

When they come into treatment, I say there's no one better suited to appreciate the light than someone who's experienced darkness.

And Tony would also lear there are generations of others who've known that darkness to.

I'll get you back to the medic.

Paw.

Don't worry about me, McGee.

Take care of yourself.

It may seem unusua to see an older couple reading a comic book 20 years old, but how many veterans can say their wartime actions were immortalized like this?

This is me, supposedly here.

It was created in the late 50s.

Come on, man, let's take him.

An era when a black hero would be drawn as white for thousands of American kids who bought heroic comics when beneath a lot, a lot of the racial stuff, you know, back in the day.

Fred McGee's anger over the misrepresentation has long since faded.

Now at their home in Smithfield, Ohio, Fred and his wife Cornell are paging through the past.

Here' a good dose of lead poisoning.

June of 1952.

Korea McGee took command of his platoon after his squad leader was wounded.

He fired at the enemy and held off machine gunners as his troops moved up hill.

528 and here come the mortar round.

That's all one coming.

The first one that got hit with.

The luckiest blow I got hit here in my chin.

And right here in a temple.

All the more shrapnel, though.

Injured himself.

He pushed on and on orders to withdraw.

McGee voluntarily stayed behind to hel evacuate the dead and wounded.

So I picked him up on my shoulder and I started running out with him.

His heroism earned him the Silver Star, two Purple Hearts and other honors.

But Fred McGee is a reluctant hero and even more reluctant to talk about his emotions.

He never discussed war.

He never talked about it at all.

But only thing I had to say was I dont want my boys go to war.

My boys never go to war.

This is a bad war.

You know we were in because you didn't know who you were fighting.

You scared to go to sleep Youre scared to eat and youre scared to wake up.

Like many Korean War veterans, Fred McGee came home, got married, had a family, and went on with life.

Nightmares were the most obvious sign of trouble.

He would wake up at night and arms flailing and howling while dreaming a mortar round were coming in and I was running trying to hide behind anything.

And the only reason he's talking more openly now is because of help he got in recent year through group support at the VA.

You don't think you need it?

You know you're a tough guy, but down the road somewher you're going to need some help because the things you've seen and things that you've done, you know, you can't do it on your own.

I respect them greatly.

Seeing older veterans still in treatment might surprise some people to be so open and vulnerable and respectful of each other, but what's not surprisin is the reason for being so open.

My ship was torpedoed three times and then trusting us enoug with their stories that night, telling their stories to help future generations.

That's an honor for me.

I volunteere for the paratroopers immediately assigned to the 101st airborne.

We went into Normandy, Holland.

We then went into the battle of the bulge.

But we were the Spearhead Division, the 94 through Pat Tommy Patton's army.

Normandy.

The battle of the bulge.

Iwo Jima landed on a rol the same day they put the flag up.

This is a support group at the VA Pittsburgh for World War Two veterans with PTSD.

And Dietrich is leading the session.

Battle fatigue that that wa what they called it back then.

Post-traumatic stress disorder was not a diagnosis until the 80s.

Men in this room actually lived what the rest of us only read about in history books.

I was sitting out in the water when they were dropping the bombs.

The A bombs I served in the Army Air Corps as a volunteer gunner, performing missions out of England over Germany and occupied Europe.

I thought that was going to be the end for me.

And it was island after island, and we won them all.

In the 1940s, these men returned as war heroes, but they came home at a time society felt the normal thing for men to do was get on with their lives.

When the World War Two veterans were discharged from active duty, there was really no outpatient therapy for them.

And I think many of them would say that the most important thing for them would have been to be abl to talk about their experiences, to normalize their experiences, to accept their experiences.

I kept it all inside for years, and then I reached a point where I never drank unless I was alone or with somebody.

The laughter might surprise you, but that's the thin about these World War Two vets.

They know there are times to smil and times to support each other.

He was killed by a sniper and he was right beside me.

Mr.

Foley, you remember these things like they happened yesterday.

And I can tell you have a lot of emotion about that.

How I lived after I came home, got married, had a family, build my house, and so forth.

These fellow never had a chance to do that.

And that's why I keep thinking about them.

But they were lucky to have known you, that's for sure.

People wanted to make statements in the group today that would honor their fellow soldier.

They didn't want their friends to be forgotten.

And Dietrich may help you and has been with the clinic since it opened in 1989.

That's when Congress authorized specialized PTSD programs, and the Pittsburg VA receive funding because of the region's high concentration of combat veterans.

I had three bazooka men killed right after Normandy.

Does anybody else have thos thoughts of, you know, why me?

Why did how did I survive that?

While the symptoms of combat related PTSD are similar and all generations older, veterans face some unique challenges.

They're at the period of their life where they're reflective.

Why did I survive?

And the these people did not?

Was I worthy of their sacrifice?

Did I do enough with my life?

One of the most difficult things occurs when they lose a spouse.

That is very disorienting for this population.

A lot of physical limitations.

Some of them have to use a walker, their own oxygen.

But despite all of that, they really make an effort to come in here.

My rank was staff sergeant.

My serial number is 491610.

That's something you never forget.

Walter Pope attack joins his fellow vets in the World War two PTSD group that meets every Thursday.

He's 87 now, a very different man than the 18 year old who left Pittsburgh's South Side to join the Marines in 1942.

Walter spent three years in the South Pacific.

He was a forward observer, part of the frontline troops directing fire on the enemy.

He saw some of the worst combat of the war, being a forward observer.

We would kill them by the hundreds.

We saw the results when we when moved up.

You know, you'd see the parts, parts of the bodies all over, everywhere.

He saw his friends fall around them myself.

I know carrying some of the guys back and what they were crying.

Don't let me die.

Don't let me die.

I want to go back home to my girlfriend.

And I still hear that today.

Yes, yes, that's still with me.

Walter remembers the jungle and the times he had to kill with his own hands would be at night most of the time because we would be in foxholes.

And then we'd set up little wires with tin cans.

If there was a noise that meant somebody was coming in after you and you, you weren't allowed to fire your rifle, then you had to do a hand to hand combat and first thing you have to do is hit him with the but of the gun and knock him down.

And then, you know, finish whatever.

It had to be done.

But, I just I never told anybody any of this, so, but it it wasn't something that you want to talk about, really.

And, it works you up.

But, you can see there's tears coming in my eyes from just talking about it.

But like most veterans of tha era, Walter came home and didn't talk about the war.

He got his old job back at the Isley Dairy in Pittsburgh, dishing out ice cream, trying to fit in.

I found it difficult to get along with people that I'm either going to kill somebody and get the company in trouble, and so I said, I think I' just going to find another job.

Most of the jobs that I got after that were where I'd be off by myself.

Walter would not marry until 1957, 12 years after the war.

He and Eleanor would have children and grandchildren.

Still he shared only a few war stories and never discussed the bad things.

I would have nightmares of the Japanese coming into our foxhole at night and finishing them off.

She moved out of the bedroom because I would be swinging and fighting and embarrassed more so than anything.

And, I, I didn't want to tell anybody what was happening.

And felt, you know, they wouldn't understand it.

But in 2005, while working through the veteran's system to finally get his Purple Heart, Walter found out about the PTSD support group for World War Two veterans.

50 years after the war ended, he signed up for counseling and still remembers the first time he spoke.

It was bad when Ann called on me and said, just get up and tell them who you are and what the branch of the service you were in and some of the spots where you were.

I got a noseblee during six years of treatment.

He's opened up, made new friends and looks forwar to Thursday mornings at 10:30.

They are like me and went through what I went through.

At home, Walter enjoys life more, confides more in his family, and is starting to share more about the war.

This is a picture of our outfi when we were all together, and I'm right here.

And while he may be softer with his emotions when it comes to giving advice, Walter Pope attac is still a pretty tough marine.

And you never give that title up.

I'll be a marine until I die.

And they'll bury me as one.

Look, there's only one way to do things, and that's the right way.

My story here.

I hope it gets down to these young fellows that are coming back today from the war, and that they go and see the help that's there for them.

But don't wait around like I did.

I waited all these years and then just ate at me.

The feds broke.

Get it fixed.

The chimes are ringing at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Pittsburgh.

Hear the chimes, then?

Yeah, I hear I'm always saying prayers.

Keep them prayers.

Go.

And every ring of the bell symbolizes a prayer sent out to a lost veteran.

The chimes are for prayers for the dead.

It's a windy day.

They're praying.

They're praying every second.

These three friends, all Vietnam vets, enjoy meeting here.

Mark Sutton.

Oh, they're like my brothers.

Dan O'Grady.

It's a constant reminder.

And Pat Conroy.

I see a lot of memories.

Pat is executive director of the memorial.

The statues come alive when I look into their eyes, and it makes a connection for me.

It reminds me of the friends that have died in Vietnam and the peopl that I haven't seen in 40 years.

The statues were designe to convey a warm welcome home.

The memorial's dome is an Asian symbol of rebirth marvels.

You know, it's it gives us some recognition and some of the recognition we never got and might bring back hurtful memories, bring back emotions that they haven't felt for a while.

Others bring back a joy that they have recognition and have validation for the server.

But for Dan O'Grady, I come here whenever I can.

This place speaks to a personal war that long outlasted Vietnam.

I was happy.

I was for life.

I had no idea what Vietnam was.

Back in 66, I wasn't at all on my radar.

I was worried about girls and going to the dances and getting a beer, and I was jus getting into trouble constantly.

So at the suggestion of tw buddies, Dan joined the Marines.

Six months later, he was in Vietnam.

The first thing I thought was, why is it hot here?

And the smell and the military smell, the tents, the diesel, the trucks, the airplanes.

It was like walking on the moon, almost as far as being in my cultur and then going to their culture.

It didn't take long for Dan to see that.

It was my first day out in a field.

Incoming rocket fire killed three and wounded one and Dan's company.

I'm telling you, those rockets came in, and I was so scared.

I'm thinking, oh, no, I got to be here for another year.

In a month.

On another mission, Dan was on point.

The man walking out fron when he sensed an ambush ahead.

He refused to go up the jungle trail.

Two of his buddies went ahead, not only ten feet behind him, and the whole jungle opened up with gunfire.

Five dead and five wounded.

And I felt like it was my fault.

That I wasn't verbally able to keep people from going off that trail.

Dan still has a photo of his friend on Thanksgiving Day in Vietnam.

Two months before that ambush.

It just tore me apart.

Jim Whalen and Johnny and Brigette, Paul Tollers and Paul Davis.

It was like.

I'm done.

I don' want no more parts of this war.

I don't want to make friends with anybody else.

Because I knew if I like somebody or loved somebody.

Actually, it was love that they would get killed and I would be hurt again.

The rage.

I don't think I ever was able to bury.

And the rage came from that ambush.

I had uncles in World War two who would say to me, and that wasn't any war.

He ran under.

And that was the sentiment among many Americans as Vietnam vets came home to indifference or scorn.

Dan was home by age 20 and taking drug his first week back at the wars.

LSD, speed and marijuana.

He drank every day from morning till night until the money ran out or till the bar closed.

Any girl that I was with, I mistreated.

I cheated on.

Dan became verbally and physically abusive with his girlfriends and later his wife, Terry.

Yes, yes.

Dan hit me no more than once.

Hes hit me more than once.

Yeah But I've always forgave him.

He wanted to hurt somebody.

And I was closest person to him so he could hurt me.

And you always hurt the one you love.

I didn't know that this rage was in there for a reason.

When I got a couple times, Terry and Dan remember the turning point.

It came in 1983 when Dan had violent flashbacks of a dead Vietnamese child and saw his own daughter in th girl's face at the VA hospital.

The doctor's diagnosis would not take long.

I told him that I was having thoughts of homicide and suicide, and I just want to kill somebody.

And he says, well, anybody in particular?

And I said, no, but how about if I start with you?

Initially in the 70s, when Vietnam veterans were coming back, the psychologist an a psychiatrist would refer to it as post-Vietnam syndrome.

They weren't sure what was going on, but they knew it was something different.

Dave McPeak has been helping veterans with PTSD even before it had that name.

Back in 1980 he was the focus of a Pittsburgh Press newspaper articl about the city's new vet center, where Dave was seeing a spike in what was being called delayed stress.

A Vietnam veteran himself, Dave had earned a master' degree in counseling psychology.

This is the job that that was made for.

I knew I was home.

This just kind of really fit.

He was among the first in Pittsburgh to get Vietnam vets into group therapy.

They were agitated at sleep problems, flashbacks to the war if they were with their buddy when he was killed.

It was their fault.

So they would creatively blame themselves for these traumas over in the war.

Trauma is acute, unfinished business from the past.

That's what post-traumatic stress is, in our view.

There ar now 350 vet centers in the U.S.

welcoming veterans from all conflicts.

The centers are essentiall community extensions of the VA, offering some of the same services in a more personal setting.

Here I'm going to groups as soon as possible.

It is remarkably effective.

The first session kind of frees them up that they're not the only ones.

Dave has been setting up his group sessions for more than 30 years now, in rooms where a soldier's most personal thoughts are shared, where friends are remembered, where lives do get better.

With that support, they are abl to make it back into the world.

Living in the here and now.

Now retired, Dan continues his counseling and is very active with Veterans Affairs.

Our life has completely changed since Dan quit drinking and since he started going to the vet center.

She's very loyal.

She took a lot of grief from me, but yet hung in there and and she knew that someday I might be something other than what I was.

And he just needed help.

And Dan has someone els to thank to his Vietnam veteran friends who support each other, who eventually found a peace.

That was a long time coming.

That's how it should have been when we came home.

Open arms and wasn't quite that way.

But beyond their braver in Vietnam, these men did leave another legacy.

What America learned from their emotional misfortun is now helping other veterans.

Today.

I'm Paul, door down.

I'm a chaplain in the United States Army.

That entails counseling, being with soldiers, providing moral support.

So the chaplain is sort of the the front line counselor, you might say, especially in the combat theater, wherever the soldiers are.

The chaplain is there.

And Chaplain Paul Dawdle is there for his fellow soldiers once again.

He's agreed to take part in a first of its kind study.

But otherwise, we'll see you in the morning and have a good night.

And what researchers hop to find from watching veterans like Paul Sleep.

Could someday help the lives of thousands of others who've been to war.

These are the T wall that protect us from the bombs that fall every now and then around here.

Paul Daredevil's tour of duty in Iraq is not the first time he has served his country.

In the mid 1980s he was stationed in West Germany for three years after leaving the army.

Paul went to seminary school and eventually settled into a career as a pastor in Pittsburgh.

Then in 2008, at the age of 43, this husban and father of three re-enlisted.

Feelin there was a need for chaplains during the Iraq War, that was very difficult.

There were many nights of crying and, difficulties in our own family as I got the orders to go to Iraq.

His tours lasted 11 months, and as a chaplain, he went where the soldiers went on duty for spiritual support.

On duty in times of trouble.

When they did go out on missions, of course, everyone was locked and loaded.

We are hyper vigilant as we're rolling through the streets.

No one knows who the next terrorist might be or what that piece of garbage on the side of the street might be.

Or what?

There was always gunfire, the constant din of gunfire.

And you are 24 seven, hyper aware of your surroundings.

And then you come home.

That day when we came back was amazing to see my family and to just grab each other, hold each other up.

The tears that we shared were just tears of joy.

As Paul returned to civilian life, his days were fairly routine.

His nights were anything but.

All sorts of noises would disturb me.

I wouldn't know what they were.

The bang would be the sound o potentially the rocket attack.

I was probably sleeping four hours a night, waking up 5 or 6 times a night.

When I first got back, mostly being woken up from dreams, there was mass confusion, because of the disconnect being back home.

My family was often in the dreams, so it was really kind of scary, to be under attack in war.

But my family right there, and my primary fear was for their lives and protecting them.

At his reserve unit bank in Pittsburgh, Paul heard about a sleep study for veterans.

He signed up immediately.

So we're looking for good sleepers and bad sleepers, if you want.

Doctor Rand Germain is an associate professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

Her research is happening i a sleep lab with seven bedrooms, where participants spend the night.

Clinicians monitor sleep patterns, brain activity, breathin patterns, eye and body movement.

Okay, Paul, could you roll on t your left side for me, please?

Paul Dawdle is one of about 230 participants, all veterans who served in Afghanistan or Iraq.

Some with sleep trouble, some without.

Even if you have been exposed to combat and you don't have sleep disturbances.

We want to understand what is it about you that makes your sleep so resilient to that amount of stress?

One of Doctor Germain's studie looks at how to treat insomnia and veterans.

The other monitors the brain activity of veterans as they sleep.

We're trying to understand what is it about the brain of people with sleep disturbances and with post-traumatic stress disorder?

That is different from people who have also been exposed to combat, but don't have sleep problems or don't have PTSD.

She follows veterans who have PTSD and who don't.

And she's watching how the brain changes from when vets are awake compared t when they're in a dream sleep.

Also known as rapid eye movement or REM sleep.

We suspect that in people wit post-traumatic stress disorder who have nightmares, their brain during REM sleep is probably more activated than it should, especiall in the centers of the brain that are involved in fear regulation and the fear response, so that we could develop treatments or refine the treatments that we have alread to try to compensate for these, disturbances.

The Pittsburgh sleep studie are just two of dozens of PTSD research projects or treatments going on across the country, where doctors are looking into such issues as why women are twice as likely as men to develop PTSD.

Veterans are also being put into virtual reality comba situations to see if prolonged exposure therapy help to dissipate anxiety and fear.

There's a program helping veterans process traumatic memories through eye movement therapy and coming to Pittsburgh in 2013.

A new state of the art veterans research facilit is getting into the sleep there.

As for Doctor Germain's sleep studies, she's also finding another positive result.

Veterans who sleep better are better equipped to handle emotional issues they've been reluctant to address before.

I'm sleeping 7 to 8 hours every night, not having the dreams anymore.

Whats for lunch.

Turkey sandwiches.

Dordal was not diagnosed with PTSD.

He'd taken early steps before his combat stress might have developed into something more serious.

If the reality is tha we all come back with some sort of post-traumatic stress, it really behooves us to get the help so that we can keep it from becoming the disorder.

My poppy is away right now.

He's in Iraq at his home in suburban Pittsburgh.

Paul's son, Mika Dordal, created this illustrated booklet when his dad was overseas.

It's called dealing with the monsters.

And my son was dealin with the monsters of deployment.

Let me tell you a story about four monsters that visited me while he was gone.

The mad monster got ma when his poppy had to go away.

Mikas story is just one example of how a soldier's stress and deployment is shared by the entire family.

We won't have to deal with the monsters anymore because Poppy will be home and we're together again.

How many Marines does it take to, like, fine tune.

200.

Army guy to hold the honor on a cool march night.

These veterans gather around a bonfire that sparks the beginning of a weekend retreat.

Who wants a marshmallow?

Their leader, Iraq war veteran Tony cans an area who's made great progress since beginning treatment for his PTSD.

It took me a really long time to finally just realize that I couldn't handle this.

What was going on by myself?

I needed someone else to help me.

I needed, you know, I need to talk to somebody that knew what I was going through.

Tony is not only organizing events like this.

He's now doing much more to help veterans in the Pittsburgh area.

And how he got here is the story of a soldie who went from darkness to light.

Oh, no.

Two years ago, I definitely did not imagine myself doing something like this.

More than two years into therapy, Tony is now a student at California University of Pennsylvania working on an MBA.

We have like 214 us up for them.

He's also a graduate assistant in the Office of Veterans Affairs, helping other students with everything from VA education benefits to veterans events.

He is the guy that makes things happen.

Robert Pryor is a ten year veteran of the National Guard and Tony's boss at Cal U. He's been a huge asset to the campus.

He is a person that is very approachable, very knowledgeable.

For some veterans, it is very difficult to navigate the VA system as a whole.

He has helped with all the aspects involved with navigating the system.

It's also here on campus where Tony has office space for vets for vets.

The organization, he says, changed his life.

The method that worked for me the best was best for vets.

Meeting other Ira and Afghanistan vets on a level playing field as peers.

Vets for vets as a national nonprofit that helps Afghanistan and Iraq era war veterans heal from the psychological injuries of war.

Tony went to his first session in 2008.

I was shocked at how everybody wasnt me.

It was just a powerful experience for me to realize that I wasn't the one person going through thi and I wasn't, you know, crazy.

And then we'll be able to, get them registered.

The more active he became with vets for vets, the more pronounced his recovery.

Tony's dedication helped grow the Western Pennsylvania chapter.

In 2009, he was named director, making trips to Washington, attending seminars and other events to improve the lives of veterans.

He's a go getter.

He deeply cares about the veterans and their issues and making sur that they're taking care of all.

Throughout the year.

Vets for vets sponsors weeken retreats with outdoor activities like this, which are meant to be more than just fun.

It's really an integral part of the recovery process, is building these relationships with other vets and stopping the isolation that a lot of us vets place ourselves into.

There are some sign up sheets over here.

Not everyone who attends the retreats has PTSD.

Some have suffered minor combat stress.

Others are here because the enjoy the military camaraderie or just want to support their fellow vets.

The best way to put it translates better in Spanish.

Una grand persona.

Anyway that means like a grand person.

Like that's like a person with big heart.

And that's how I see vets.

The retreat laste three days, hosted 29 veterans.

Their expenses covered by vets for vets, the setting, Antioquia and the village.

A conference in Retreat Center just outside Ligonier, Pennsylvania.

It's a really peaceful location.

Great grounds.

And, you know, kind of gets the vets in a in a safe environment to where it's okay to talk about these type of things.

It wasn't necessarily losing people or combat exposure that affected me.

The most.

Michelle Wilmot says that when she was in Iraq, racism and psychological abuse she faced from superiors caused her to leave the army and led to her anger issues.

I think they expected for me to to fold, to fall apart, but I fell apart in a different way.

I didn't fall apart and give up.

I fell apart in a way where I wanted to kill them.

She was angry that no one was held accountable.

Angry that so few peopl could relate to her frustration.

And knowing that I wanted somebody who understood.

I was talking about not somebody who'd be like, oh, you poor victim.

Oh, and you're a woman and a minority.

Oh, you poor thing.

Because I hate that.

It's like, no, it's not.

Being a victim, I survived.

I wasn't just victimized.

I survived this.

I just want to tell somebody because I'm holding it.

Michelle is now an active veteran's advocate in Tucson.

She traveled to the Pittsburgh retreat to run the Women's Support Group.

And she's found that helping others is now helping her, too.

I don't think we heal necessaril from just addressing our issues.

That's a part of it.

But and that's, you know, that's an ongoing process.

While I'm working with vets for vets, I get to send out a lot of my frustrations.

However, I'm helpin somebody else, and that helps me relieve some of the bitterness that I still hold.

When Sean Perle headed for the retreat, he almost turned back.

I didn't know who I was going to meet or what it was about.

And I figured I got the motorcycle.

I can always leave.

I need a way out.

I was wrong.

Running from himself is wha Sean has done in recent years.

But it wasn't always like that.

He joined the Pennsylvania Army National Guard at the age of 18, and spent more than two decades serving his country.

During those years, he earned a degree in electrical engineering and had a steady job.

During a tour of duty in Iraq.

In January 2006, his vehicle was hit by an IED, a roadside bomb.

Two months later, it happened again.

This time, the damage and trauma was even worse.

A body for temperature drop below the admin body bag with, heat packs.

I know there's a body ba with a hole cut up from my face with a catheter.

Honestly, I thought I was dead.

Back home in Pennsylvania, troubles came quickly.

Sometimes I was crazy, I thought I was going crazy.

Memory loss.

Short term memory.

I found it difficult to even, write out a check in my checkbook without getting the shakes.

Anxiety and the cold sweats.

Things would get worse.

Sean lost his job of 23 years because of his drinking.

He racked up two DUIs, and after a violent flashback to the bombing, he was involuntaril committed to a psychiatric unit.

It's like I fought for my country, and now I'm coming home, and I'm fighting that fight for my freedom for everybody else, and I'm fighting for my own.

Let's go for Sean.

Come on.

The structured military life was gone.

His personal life in turmoil and his future.

I don't know, I'm struggling with that.

I struggle with myself.

I didn't foresee mysel being alive 1 or 2 more years.

You got all the loyalty in the world, Your presence on my soldiers ahead, Listen, I can't see past tomorrow because I'm struggling with today.

I want that serenity.

I want that peace of mind.

I was scared, everybody scared.

When you get there, if you say you're not, you're a liar.

At the vets for Vets Retreat, Tony Canzoneri is leading the conversation.

Sean decided to stay, but is apprehensive.

He's had private therapy, but he has never been in a group session like this.

I mean, I sit here and I just think about where.

Where do you even start?

He's never shared with peers until now.

I've killed people.

I've almost been killed by people.

I feel was blessed and was lucky.

But what is luck?

Survived.

And being alive.

The sad thing is, you learn how to survive and you forget how to live.

And, that's what I've been doing.

I've just been surviving.

These men talked abou their hearts in several meetings where Tony encourages positive thoughts, too.

In one discussion, he asked each vet to choose a desired destination and a dream companion.

I want to go back to Iraq, not wearing a uniform.

Id said the same thing.

Give me, give me closur for kind of like a Vietnam vet.

Come back to see tha the work that you did, the risk that you took in and see wha kind of change, positive change.

You know what I mean?

If there is a positive change that makes sense to anybody.

It makes perfect sense.

And who would I take with me I take my dog is my best friend.

Come on girl.

Sean continues treatment for PTSD and is undergoing testing for TBI traumatic brain injury.

He's attending AA and has found new spiritual strength at church.

That first group session with vets for vets was yet another step in his recovery.

I had some rough times through it, but sometimes that's what I needed to do, was open up and let ou a lot of my suppressed feelings.

You just need to step up and realize that asking for help isn't a show of weakness.

It's actually a show of strength.

Sean Perle would show that strength in a poem he wrote about his first retreat.

Survivors of the fight to fell upon another country's sand.

We are soldiers of a lost breed that no one else can seem to understand.

So we may no longer be just surviving as strangers in our own land, but living as everyday people once again.

A little bit of inspiration from my weekend, when I felt my heart and what it provided for me.

And as far as sharing part of sharing with other veterans, because I believe there's a lot of veterans out there to feel the same way I do.

Good job.

20 years now, I want my son to look back and see me as, you know, the best possible man that I could have been.

And I, I want him to be proud of.

Of who I was.

Talking helps.

But I've seen.

And how many of the othe fellows there that were helped?

Now, when I look at myself, I see a, you know, a compassionate individual, someone that's able to control their anger and control their emotions a little bit better.

I knew that he was a decent man.

He just needed help.

My going to say I don't have bad days.

No.

Will I ever be the same person I was before?

No.

But I'm really happy with where I'm at right now.

And I owe that all to, you know, to the people that have helped me along the way.

I don't think you can really heal without giving something back.

And that's why Tony Canzoneri has joined the ranks of veterans helping veterans.

We need to intervene when a soldier is hurting.

That is a heroic as going int the battle, fighting alongside.

And I'm not going to leave another vet behind.

He's thankful to have come so far and is now there for others who are just beginning the journey.

It's been a long road home.

Definitely a long road home.

It was a struggle for me to come forth and stuff like that.

I had to do do for myself my own happiness in my own life.

And, hopefully I will find my way home.

Funding for this program was made possibl by the Staunton Farm Foundation.

Thank you.

To order a copy of Long Road Home, please call one 800-274-1307 or visit shopwqed.org.