caring careers here.com providing connections to the lives of Aging motans by helping people discover careers in caregiving more information at caring carear here.com I grew up with my grandma being ill she was not the the loving grandma that most people will want but she was there and she was always doing thises too and she was just there present but then I learned no I learned that um about kids taking care of their parents yes so I remember seeing my mom how much she love her mom and she took care of her I I it and I see my myself doing the the same thing for my my parents hi I'm Melissa Fritz host of inside senior living as a senior living consultant during the co pandemic and a daughter who lost her father to alzheimer's dementia my inspiration for this work comes from a deeply personal place I've seen firsthand the challenges family face when navigating the complexities of Aging over the years I've dedicated myself to equipping older adults and their families with the information and resources they need to make the best decisions whether that means receiving care in their own home or making a move to a senior living community and as we all age this need is only going to grow that's why we're on a mission to spark conversations support caregivers provide valuable resources and promote a more age-friendly World meet Maria a dedicated daughter and caregiver as an immigrant to the US she's balancing the demands of her own life while caring for both of her aging parents who are facing serious health issues Maria's story highlights the unique challenges and sacrifices that come with being a primary caregiver I have seven siblings I've always got someone to play with um I really didn't need it to play with neighbors or anyone else and so we were always very creative we grew up with very minimum toys so we had to use our imagination all the time I remember pretending that I was the a secretary or the doctor because my my mom used to take us to get our shots and remember hearing on the microphone calling do Salgado do Salado and I used to pretend at home that I was do salad salad salad so so it was fun I've always had a lot of fun dis playing with my siblings I feel that I remember being a happy kid it was hard to have a close relationship with my parents because my dad was always gone working and some nights he was away and my mom pretty much took care of most of us well I grew up um with my dad singing at home practicing all the time knowing that that that was my dad's profession um and he used to bring us sometimes to some uh events where he performed so we grew up seeing him singing performing he was the one singing at my sister's weddings our our family members weddings and um he was gone most of the time during our birthdays our special holidays because those are the days where he could get more work but um just by by having him practicing at home all the time we kind of I kind of got to know pretty much all the songs he he used to perform and I that's why I think I love music [Music] [Music] thank thank you thank you gracias gracias [Music] is it [Music] okay oh good job that was better [Laughter] [Music] both Adela and Hilario are in their 80s and now living in the US with their daughter Maria and her husband Juan after growing up and raising eight children in Mexico they're finding it more difficult to continue traveling back and forth to the US while some of their children remain in Mexico others have immigrated to the US with Maria's help Adela and Hilario are exploring the best living situation for them as they continue to age my parents years ago they they had a lot of illnesses or St going through uh to because of their health and part of it was that in Mexico they were not taking good care of themselves or there was nobody taking care of them or pushing them to get the care that they need it or financially they didn't have the capability of doing that and so but here I I make sure they get to see the doctor for every single thing they need and if they're going through something I take them right away to the doctor and do the followups get the medication they need make sure they take it they live with us and we take care of them so they don't have to make decisions here on their own they don't have to worry about finances they don't have to worry about if they're going to have something to eat tomorrow or anything they don't have any of those worries so I I feel that they are more relaxed in that aspect where they don't have to worry about anything here but I do know that they miss the family and the the freedom that they get over there because by living on their own and Mexico and being their Hometown they can move around anywhere or they used to be able to move around go out and do stuff on their own and in here not knowing the language and not being able to just go outside and get Transportation every anywhere uh and get into places on their own kind of like ties them to just stay in the house so that's why it's important for me to find programs or uh spaces where they can interact with other people everybody is speaking Spanish but we have very different culture but something in common that we have if that when we are taking care of ours Elders until last it's part of our culture and we think we believe in that they are very important in the family they are the foundation on the Family they are the wisdom they are the everybody's around our elders so you take care of your your grandparents or your parents for you know it's part of our culture we don't normally put in in a nursing home like so many caregivers Maria often finds herself worrying about what the future holds for her parents I hope my parents have a a a larger future I'm hoping that they they get to live many more years my dad's memory is really sharp he's really smart he loves to talk and socialize he enjoys singing but his body is not helping him as much and he's he gets um stressed out about it and he complains and so I'm hoping that um eventually um um with a surgery that he's hoping he can have he could move better around and about my mom I I feel my mom is younger than my dad she is um more active than my dad and she's so happy just being part of events and being around the family and enjoying life still so I'm hoping that both they get to live for many more years that are good years for them for for [Music] this is a great house tell me how you have retrofitted things to accommodate your parents here well this is a three-bedroom house um so kids are out this was perfect for our family with two daughters but they move out now we have two empty bedrooms upstairs perfect and then my parents move in but it's so hard for them to go upstairs so they we decided that it was not a good idea for them to stay upstairs especially because we don't have a bathroom upstairs okay so uh my husband was able to make this bed for my mom okay and we set it up this space for my mom to sleep in the in our dining room okay this is not the perfect setup but we make it work we now most likely eat in the kitchen okay and then my husband also adopted the the sun porch he converted into a bedroom for my dad um we have to have a heater electric heater during the winter for him but it's working so far uh my mom also wanted to stay close to my dad so this was perfect at first my mom wanted to sleep in the couch and we said no no no this is not comfortable so that's why we decided that this space was better for her having the bed here and so my husband also adopted um our bathroom room for my parents okay so this was not here originally I mean this was the regular bathroom but it had a tub in there okay with tile y but um we decided that my parents were having a hard time getting in and out and I was afraid that they were going to fall yes so I asked my husband to do something about it and then he R did the bathroom the whole bathroom that's so amazing that you're doing all all this but wouldn't it I mean was there ever a thought like this our house isn't really set up for my parents maybe they should go to a community I mean did you ever think through that or no we we just made it work for us and for them so we we want to be have them close to us we want to spend time with them this is what we want as much and as long as we can just stay together my my siblings and I have had um conversations about the future for my parents I have expressed to my siblings in Mexico how hard it is for my parents to move around and to be able to travel by themselves like in the future my parents are not going to be able to travel back and forth so they're going to have a we're going to have to make a decision about where they will stay you know um and so we all agree that in here I mean I I have the time and the patience the love I guess and the flexibility from a job to be able to do that to take care of them uh but after all it's up to my parents to decide on where they want to stay finding resources can be difficult especially when a caregiver is faced with limited time options based on their own needs Maria luckily found Clues Minnesota's largest Latino nonprofit organization offering an array of services for older adults and caregivers tell me about your biggest challenges in finding resources for your parents well it has been challenging you know I I have a full-time job and I have other stuff that I need to do for my family and for my parents I have enrolled them in a few local community programs I just register them with cluis who offers a program named majores Mees and my parents are so excited they will start going twice a week soon and the bus will come and pick them up the mission of Clues is to advance the Health social and economic equity and well-being of Minnesota Latinos this work is really important to me and it leads truly to empower families to achieve Wellness whatever that means for them everybody's on a different journey and so clu has an excellent job at meeting people where they are at and then finding ways and Roads and uh Caminos to uh what leads to Health and Wellness prior to covid um I was able to reach out to cluis they they used to have a a program for seniors and it's it the program's building was very close to our house here so my parents were very happy when I enrolled them they used to go just twice a week they weren't able to go the whole week um financially um but um I remember seeing my parents very happy coming back from from the program and sharing their stories and all the activities that they did and um it changed them they were different they were I remember my mom one day telling me Oh I have this game that my friend gave it to me and I was like I never heard my mom saying my friend you know I I don't remember my mom having a friend ever my dad is a talker and he's very social my mom is not so sometimes my mom will be like I just want to stay home I don't want to go and my dad will be well if you don't want to go I want to go so um yeah my my dad I was always up for it while they were going to that program I was able to take a class too for caregivers where they Tau me about the importance of caregivers um to get some care for themselves some time for themselves and uh just get burned out while they are taking care of their loved ones and that was very important for me too because I learned that I I I didn't have to feel guilty about doing stuff stuff or other things for myself too and since then I started doing other things for myself too that have helped me balance how emotionally and physically I feel we have um in addition a lot of programming for parents and caregivers and that is something that is really critical for us because the caregivers in you know for older adults and for children really need need support it's it's a hard job to do and uh you know I think in the Latino Community we don't consider that a job it's just like a it's a duty like it's something we just need to do we do uh and that takes a toll and so being able to provide a spaces where caregivers are feel supported uh have resources have a a space where they maybe can share a little bit of the struggles um and navigate situations find resources is really critical as well and I think it's part of connecting that component of being intergenerational is there are individuals that have a little bit of a heavier load um with the roles that they play in supporting uh [Music] fam foree [Music] so Latinos in general I think in in the US and in Minnesota face a lot of different barriers um you know our immigration stories and Status really impacts the ability that we have to seek jobs to be part of community to be um able to navigate systems so I think uh many Latinos will face language barrier so being uh Spanish the um you know native language and um navigating systems when you don't know English can be really uh challenging so that is one one one big barrier for older adults I feel like there's an added element of comp uh complexity in the Latino Community we tend to really take care of our elders at home and systems in the US are a little bit different so that can represent challenges both for those families that truly want to continue to take care of their Elders at home and as well as those that need to be thinking about what kind of support systems they could access as they navigate um care I think healthc care is a big component if you are uninsured or underinsured it's really really hard as an older adult to have access to what you need even with the day-to-day challenges that come with caretaking Maria knows how important it is to take time for herself and lean on her own support system right now I'm doing a lot of things that I probably shouldn't be doing in staying home with my parents more but I'm probably taking advantage of the kind of the situation where I my parents do not need me as much to be by their side yet I know that time will come eventually but right now they don't need me to be here so they're they understand and they're okay with it but um currently like having my full-time job I'm uh volunteering for a nonprofit organization that provides Mental Health Services to immigrants um I'm taking classes a leadership class um I've been taking voiceover classes acting classes I'm going to start going to the gym with my husband so we can spend some time together too that will be our time together too and I'm really grateful for him to be able to understand that I'm doing all these things and activities because he stays home or he's alone pretty much when I'm not when I'm around doing all these things he understands and he he supports me so I'm really thankful and grateful for that yeah those things motiv Ates me to keep going uh but that's always secondary if my parents need me so I kind of try to sketch all my everything else around my parents needs Maria's parents have embraced the reality of Aging with a practical mindset of being patient with yourself as you [Music] age foree [Music] [Music] and for Maria the time spent caring for them has allowed her to truly get to know her parents in a way she'd never done before my relationship with my parents has changed a lot from where I was a young adult um to now because I feel like now um I have the time we have the time to be able to to talk and finally get to know each other and finally discover a lot of things that I didn't know about them or them about me um we're getting close closer as time passes I consider myself lucky having them here cuz every day I'm discovering new things about myself or about or about them with Maria's story we see the power of family and Maria's unwavering dedication it reminds us that while the caregiving Journey can be daunting it can also offer Priceless time and connection between loved ones this season we met eight families explored their diverse journeys of aging and choices for senior living we also witness the selfless acts of their caregivers it's important to embrace this process the best we can and start the conversations as early as possible we hope to provide the support and resources you need to feel prepared when facing the challenges of Aging thank you for watching I'm Melissa Fritz [Music] production of inside Senior Living is made possible by Elder Mark Senior Living software helmouth and Johnson Lotus Pharmacy and kickernick [Music] gallery e