Welcome to Brazos Matters.

I'm Jay Socol.

In a university community like ours, where the population is dominated by 18 to 24 year olds in high stress circumstances, we know there are many potential stressors that can come at you all at once.

It's not exclusive to young people.

Obviously, but considering the median age in College Station, tends to hover somewhere around 23.

You know, it is significant.

Within this group, you have end of semester academic anxieties, which can get even worse for students who returned home to the holiday dinner table and get quizzed about performance and outcomes.

You have all kinds of possible holiday stress that could be tied to any number of things.

And there are some who really don't do well.

When darkness comes sooner and the temperatures get colder.

Seasonal depression, you might say.

And that's why we have invited today's guest.

Megan Culpepper is a licensed professional counselor supervisor in the counseling and Mental Health Services area of Texas A&M University Health Services.

Megan, thanks for being here.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks for having me.

You bet.

Okay, so explain to me what counseling and mental health services is all about here on campus and what your role is within that?

Sure.

Here at A&M, what is really awesome is that students have access to, licensed professionals, licensed psychologists, counselors, for therapy.

We do operate in a short term model, so we're not going to see someone, you know, weekly for the whole 4 or 5 years that they're here.

But it is an opportunity for students to seek services if they're struggling.

We really encourage students to come in, talk to someone.

If we can help them within our office, we will do that.

If it's better suited for a different resource, we're going to do the best we can to get them connected.

And all of this is covered through students fees that they're already paying, so there's no additional charges, for students to use our services.

Do students typically seek you out, or is it more typical for a family member to refer that, you know, how does that connection typically get me?

I would say it's probably a mix of both, but I do see that, you know, a lot more students are seeking that out on their own.

And in fact, you know, keep that maybe more private to themselves.

Maybe they're not telling anyone that they're utilizing counseling.

But we do get those students who have, you know, said, gosh, you know, mom or dad or cousin or roommate has recommended I come here.

We do get some direct referrals as well from academic advisors, you know, resident directors as well as, faculty, because this is something that even though we, we're we've been around campus for years, a lot of times students don't even realize that this is a resource that they have.

Yeah, I'm sure that is right.

So maybe we start with academic stress that leads into holidays.

What do you tend to hear from students?

Yeah.

You know, there's this ebb and flow to the semester.

And, when it gets to the end, a lot of students are maybe burnt out, overwhelmed.

You know, they've not taking care of themselves from, like, a physical health perspective.

Maybe they're not sleeping well or fueling their body, you know, in the most nutritious way.

And so those things combined can really add to this stress of that final culmination of their semester with grades.

You know, in, in that that I think is an exciting time because there is a, an end.

But there's a lot going on, not just, academics, but organizations, events, socials.

And so when that all combines, especially when you're heading into the holiday season, there can just be a lot of ways that students aren't managing, right.

One thing gets out of whack and and it can really impact those, their ability to cope or, you know, they're starting to see it impact that academic piece.

Right.

I know you can never paint with a broad brush, but do you tend to see some of those neglectful habits more with young men versus young women or, or of a certain classification?

You know, more of a freshman, sophomore versus, junior senior, you know, are the patterns that you recognize in that regard?

Yeah.

I can't speak to kind of a gender, difference.

I would say it's pretty similar across the board.

I think generally, stereotypically, we might say that women are more likely to seek help through therapy.

So we might see a little bit more of students who are women coming in, seeking those services.

But I, I would say, freshmen can tend to present more with some of this because they're really still adjusting to the demands of high, college versus high school.

There's way less structure, way less accountability.

And it can it can really sneak up on you when it's like, oh, no, two weeks away.

And gosh, I haven't been to class in a while.

And so I would say that there are maybe a slight more of that freshman zone of students who maybe are coming in with that particular academic stress.

But then if you flip it as students are progressing in their major, maybe getting into some of those harder courses, we see that as well for, you know, kind of the upperclassmen.

So, right.

And how do you how do you develop strategies to equip students with coping skills before a crisis creeps in or is it almost always there's a real significant issue by the time they come to you?

Yeah.

No, I, we see we students in all different kind of phases of their mental health journey.

I just think there's more acceptance of students seeking help before things, you know, maybe get beyond, beyond kind of just that normal everyday stress to more of that crisis point.

If we do intercept students in that place seemingly there, there's a little bit more that we can do in terms of equipping, you know, identifying, what are their stressors?

What are some of those trigger points for them?

Is it, you know, more in the social realm?

Is it more in the academic realm?

Are they working and having to balance finances and a job and, being involved?

So I think it it is helpful when students kind of come in more proactively, I suppose.

But the reality is that that's just not always possible.

And I think there's a lot of ideas around coping that students are are resilient, right.

They maybe have dealt with struggles or stressors in the past.

And so they're they're attempting it maybe on their own.

But yeah, when we start to see those things not working anymore, that's when I really see students coming in, reaching out for help.

And maybe there is some crisis going on.

You know, maybe they're there is more mild to moderate anxiety depression happening.

We can definitely make a lot of strides, though in, in that work.

If students are open and willing to, to try something new to, you know, kind of get outside of themselves and in seek that support.

Right.

So my, my two frames of reference, they're very self-serving.

One is when I was a student here, which was a long time ago, and I don't even know if any of the services like your office provides now.

I don't even know if any of those services were available back then.

I wouldn't have thought to sure have sought anything out, and goodness knows I could have used it.

But there also was probably a stigma to that back then.

A pretty heavy one.

And then the second point of reference is, my son, who graduated from A&M last fall and he's he's off at a graduate program somewhere else.

But, those are my only two ways of of even thinking about this subject.

I assume that some of those fundamental stressors that I experience to all those years ago remain fundamental stressors today.

But there have to be far more.

Just because of how we've we've evolved in technology and so forth.

Are you seeing evidence of that?

Yeah.

So I will have been working at A&M for 12 years.

Actually I think I just hit my 12, 12 year anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Thank you.

And I, I myself in that, you know, time have seen a shift in students.

You know, kind of those stressors and the things that seem to be, bringing them more in more.

Of course, we see the impact of technology, as you mentioned, social media, just sort of instant access, I think attention span and just ability to sort of, sit with discomfort is something that I'm just seeing kind of in a more general theme of people are having a harder time sitting with uncomfortable situations.

And maybe that's because we have the ability to distract and seek pleasure, you know, from, from our, our phones, right at our fingertips, a funny video or getting lost in, you know, a series that we just have instant access to.

Okay.

That's a that's a very interesting thing you just pointed out.

What does that end up looking like to where we.

What did you say?

We're, We're afraid of sitting in discomfort or something like that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think people are, you know, when we're talking about anxiety and in particular, I don't know if you've ever been in kind of a situation where there was a legitimate concern, a fear, you know, maybe, maybe something tragic.

Our body automatically goes into a fight or flight mode, and that's really a survival mechanism, right?

It's sort of saying I'm not safe.

I need to activate.

You know, either run, flee, or maybe I'm going to fight, right?

Like, maybe I'm getting ready to fight back.

There's also that freeze response to that deer in the headlights response that folks have.

So, sometimes when folks are talking about anxiety, they, they kind of talk about feeling paralyzed or sort of frozen.

So some of these things are part of our biology that are protective in survival.

Right.

But if you think about, oh, I'm uncomfortable right now because someone is bringing up a topic that I really don't want to talk about.

Or maybe my roommate is confronting me about my cleanliness.

Suppose that's really uncomfortable for I think most people in general, right?

If I've been able to avoid conflict or maybe, you know, not have a lot of disagreements throughout my, my experience, those things can become really uncomfortable.

And so a lot of times people respond as if they're in this life threatening situation, the fight or flight mode.

And so it doesn't feel good.

And so a lot of times people when they're experiencing anxiety, the fact is that they're actually trying to avoid that discomfort.

And so what happens when you avoid that assignment or that conversation?

Or maybe class is just really overwhelming and you don't go a timer to just going to make it that much harder to show back up, to have that conversation to, you know, attack that chapter.

That was one chapter is now five chapters, of content that I need to address.

And so, the ways that we, I think often, you know, kind of distract from that discomfort can be these mechanisms of instant at our fingertips, gratification with, with our phones, with, with TV, things like that.

So what do you end up recommending some strategies to actually overcome rather than distract?

Yeah.

I think noticing it.

Right.

Like, we have to be aware that that's what we're doing.

And so avoidance can kind of feel like this big thing, like in a way, I don't know, I don't avoid that.

But if we slow down enough and, and take a moment to really recognize, gosh, maybe I am avoiding and I'm avoiding because of the discomfort I'm avoiding because it just is easier to do this other thing.

So noticing, being aware, and then the reality is, is sort of exposure, right?

Like we kind of have to do the thing.

Now, I don't tell people, okay, go confront your, you know, worst fear.

But instead we teach coping strategies.

We teach things that they might do when those feelings of discomfort begin to rise, so that they can manage it and keep moving through the discomfort.

So that might look like, deep breathing.

Right?

Just like taking a nice inhale.

Exhale.

Right.

Like just taking a moment.

That could look like, quieting all those.

Voices, you know, those things that are going through our mind, those thoughts that we're having, those fears, the what if they don't like me or what if I fail, right?

Sort of confronting some of those, you know, maybe more dominating thoughts that aren't really helping us to have that courage and resilience to face the thing that maybe we're avoiding.

But oftentimes it is a matter of like, hey, just try, just do it.

See how it goes.

Yeah.

Breathe through it.

Reach out to a friend if it doesn't go well.

Talk to someone.

Yeah.

Of course.

Therapy coming in, talking to someone.

But there are a lot of things people can do on their own.

And then.

Right.

If it is this physiological reaction in their body, that discomfort, you know, how are we sleeping?

What's our exercise routine look like?

Are we feeling our body?

How much caffeine are we having?

So those kinds of things I think do matter, but we don't always take the time to slow down and and recognize that.

And I guess at this age, also a lot of this is happening for the first time.

Yeah.

And so it feels like sort of the end of the world.

Yeah.

In some cases.

Right.

Yeah, absolutely.

I think I think there are you know, a lot of things that we're experiencing, you know, young adults are experiencing in college for the first time.

Right?

Like, and so those, those reactions might not be completely invalid.

Right?

There might be a lot on the line.

There might be a lot of, what I call psychological threat.

Right.

Like, no, we're our life isn't in danger, but our, our our psyche.

Right.

Like, how we feel about ourselves are, you know, are we getting accepted into the orgs and the, you know, groups that we're applying for those things can feel threatening to our sense of self.

So some of the reactions are valid.

But we sort of have to reframe our mind around it.

It's like, gosh, this isn't the end of the world.

Or hey, maybe I have been through something difficult before and I've coped through that.

And so I have the ability to to, you know, persevere.

Yeah.

Let me do a quick reintroduction.

If you're just tuning in.

I'm Jay Socol.

Our guest today is Megan Culpepper, a licensed professional counselor supervisor with Texas A&M University Health Services.

We're talking about ways to help deal with holiday stress and anxieties.

So I want to talk for a moment about when students finish up a semester and then head home for the holidays, because at the time that you and I are having this conversation, that's really where we are.

And, my wife and I just visited our son off off in, another, grad program out of state.

And he is frantically finishing up papers and so forth, and then he's going to come home.

And I'm sure the last thing he wants is to be, sort of interrogated on how did you do on this paper?

How did you do in this course?

That's not good enough.

That's sort of fair.

Yeah.

What sorts of advice do you end up giving students on how to navigate this sort of, reintroduction back into your, your family environment before you end up coming back for the next semester?

Yeah.

I mean, I think, I think there's a lot of pieces to this.

And, you know, if we do some perspective taking, I think a student can maybe recognize that a parent is interested in how they're doing.

You know, how did their semester wrap up.

And so, you know, students give your parents a little bit of that, pleasure of getting into some insight into to what's going on.

But I would also say it's okay to talk about struggle.

You know, I think parents I'm a parent, I have younger kiddos.

We want the best for our kid, and we don't want to hear that they're struggling or that, you know, maybe, maybe they're having a hard time.

But the reality is we're human and nobody's got it 100% figured out.

And so I would actually encourage students to, to maybe lean in a little bit, like if mom and dad are questioning, asking some things, you know, maybe you kind of sandwich it like had this, this class went really well.

But, I mean, I was really not sleeping while I wasn't taking care of myself.

There were a lot of things that I missed out on because I was really having to walk in because maybe I slacked off a bit.

You know, and following that up with a hey, but I really think I did my best.

And then I think the other thing that maybe this is less for the parents, but for the student, if we struggle, if we have a setback, that's okay.

How are we learning from it?

And I think that's the piece that I encourage students to talk about, especially if they've hit my office and things aren't going so hot.

I don't have the magic wand to to reverse time and make things better.

But then we're sort of talking about, what are you learning from this?

Where did where did things maybe get off track?

Okay, let's plan ahead so we don't hit those roadblocks.

You know, as, as quickly.

Yeah.

So those are some of the things that I would really encourage students to think about, reflect on.

And just.

Be honest.

So whether it's a parent and child scenario or it's peer to peer, how do we know what to say or when to stay quiet and just listen?

Yeah.

Because I tend to be a problem solver and I really have to perform a manual process to stop that and just listen.

And how do we even recognize in others this something may not be right.

Yeah.

What?

I think you bring up a good point.

Like, there are sometimes what seem to be valid solutions to people's problems.

And it's like, hey, try this, try that.

My response usually is like, students have probably thought of that and maybe they've tried it, or for whatever reason, it feels too big to try to solve that problem.

But yeah, when when a student is opening up, when, when a friend comes to you and is maybe sharing something a little more, vulnerable, I think there is a really important part of just our presence with someone else, you know, maintaining eye contact.

But putting your phone down, right?

Like giving that undivided attention.

Yeah.

Listening, checking in, you know, like.

Okay, so you said this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, what what else about that?

Or.

Why does that feel that way?

So.

Right.

Being curious is really kind of what that is like.

Okay.

Well, what have you tried.

Right.

Like instead of maybe offering the solution, checking like, what have you tried.

Well, they might be like, well, I haven't tried anything.

I want you to tell me what to do.

Great.

Okay, here's some ideas.

Right.

And I think even asking, do you want me to listen right now?

Do you want me to give some solutions?

Do you want me to be honest with you right now?

Right.

Like, sometimes we need that.

Like that.

Tough love.

And we need someone to just really say the hard thing.

So I think all of those things can just vary depending on where where the student is at.

I think for me, the part that I hear the most and this is not intentional by and large, is when people in some way dismiss or invalidate someone's feelings by saying, you know, well, but so-and-so, you know, they have it worse.

Well, maybe.

Right, but that doesn't negate my experience in what I'm dealing with.

So I would say if students can feel heard and validated and not dismissed and that that can be really challenging because we might not realize a subtle, comment could come across as dismissive.

And, and right now I'm kind of blanking on like what that might sound like.

But often just flip the script, think about what would I want in that moment.

Maybe it is that, gosh, I'm so sorry you're going through that.

I wish I knew what to do, right?

Even if even if maybe we have some ideas, we can just sort of put put some empathy out there and and say, yeah, that's really tough.

Thanks for telling me.

Right, right.

That's another thing.

Thanks for telling me that.

Thanks for sharing that with me.

I'm glad you felt safe enough to come talk to me about that.

And I'm sure you would like for students or parents of students who may be in, in these situations to, to listen, and recognize it.

Maybe some resources or help would be a positive step.

You would like them to have your resources, tucked away in their brain to be able to share that.

Right.

So what are those resources that people could direct a student to?

Yeah.

So, counseling in mental health care is under the Department of University Health Services.

And so that is one department that does both like the primary care, services on campus as well as mental health care.

So if someone were to look at our website, uhs.tamu.

edu, they're going to find information about both those resources logging in, kind of creating a little bit of a profile for that student.

And then they can select appointments, you know, that can be, an individual counseling appointment.

We also offer things like group therapy and workshops.

So workshops are going to be more brief interventions where we're, we're kind of teaching students.

How do you learn these coping strategies for depression or anxiety or relationships.

And so those are one hour maybe, a repeating one, you know, two week, series that they can attend.

As well as, you know, again, I think I mentioned earlier, if for some reason our services aren't a good fit for someone, you know, we are short term, we really try to look at, okay, what are some things we can accomplish in about a semester time frame?

If we had 5 or 6 sessions together, what will what can we accomplish and what we could we do?

I think anyone can benefit from that, but sometimes folks just need more time, right?

Maybe they've been dealing with something for five, six, seven years.

We're probably not going to be able to, you know, fix it all in that brief time.

So we offer referral services for students, to maybe look at other campus resources, as well as folks in the community who might be able to offer them additional support.

So as our time is starting to, come to an end, we have at least a couple minutes left.

What are some things that I haven't asked you about?

But maybe you want folks to understand whether it's just recommendations or resources or trends.

Anything else on your mind?

Yeah.

I mean, I think one thing that was briefly brought up is that there is an impact to our potential mental health.

When seasons change, it gets colder outside.

The, the daylight savings time happens.

There are natural, biological and physiological responses.

When we have less sunlight that's going to impact our serotonin level.

Our melatonin, our circadian rhythm.

Right.

And so, when we're when we're dealing with that, I just encourage folks to get outside if they can, find that sleep routine, just maybe make adjustments to, you know, I used to go work out when it would light out.

Maybe.

So maybe you shift that indoors when there is going to be more bright light.

But otherwise, I think there's a lot of ways that, folks can just check in with themselves around the holidays, maybe adjust expectations, have grace with themselves and, you know, show up for other people.

So those are some of the things I would suggest.

Yeah.

I used to get amused at my wife.

I would call her solar powered because she comes alive in the daylight.

And then, you know, during this time of the year, not so much.

I've become that person.

Yeah.

So I think it is a real thing.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think knowing yourself and, you know, checking in, am I saying this because it just feels like what I should say or is this really impacting me?

And taking additional kind of measures to protect that time.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Give me a website again so we can direct people to the right place.

uhs.tamu.edu.

And again, they're going to go into that student portal, make an appointment section.

And that's where we're going to really find, the way to connect with us.

Perfect.

Megan Culpepper, thank you so much for being here and having this discussion.

Yeah, I appreciate you.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

Brazos Matters is a production of Aggieland's Public Radio 90.9 Kamu FM, a member of Texas A&M University's Division of Community Engagement.

Our show was engineered and edited by Matt Dittman.

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And also go into the archives and check out any of the Brazos Matters episodes from the past several years.

Thanks again for watching and listening.

I'm Jay Socol.

Have a great day.