(group of men chatter) (upbeat music) (dominoes rattle) (speaking foreign language) (upbeat music) (speaking foreign language) (upbeat music) - Hey, she wants hers on a stick and I want mines in a cup.

Everything, everything.

- Everything?

- [Jessica] Yes, I love the corn.

- I know.

- And then he stopped.

One day I seen him walking down the street.

And I'm like, "Where are you right now?"

He told me he was here.

I know, I told Papa like, "That's not the car, man."

- It's yours Jessica.

- Thank you.

(upbeat music) This is so good.

- Humboldt Park has always been blacks and Hispanics.

We were always say we were cousins.

Like they never separated the blacks from the Puerto Rican.

We were all considered one family.

- Yup.

- And I think to this day we still are.

- We were always family.

- And then see like, coming to Humboldt Park reminds me of growing up in Humboldt Park.

Like even though the communities have changed and most people have moved out, you come here and this reminds me, 'cause everybody's together.

Everybody's celebrating, everybody's enjoying, being friendly, how it should be.

- Mhmmm.

(upbeat music) Gentrification did change our neighborhood.

It's not the place it was when I was growing up.

It did push away the gangs so that was like one of the positive things that came out of it.

But now it's like, nobody's here.

I have no friends around here no more.

None of my girlfriends I grew up with, everybody moved out.

Most of them were forced out because they couldn't afford it.

The changes I seen in the neighborhood is I see less kids, I see more condos.

I see more joggers, more dogs.

I see less block parties.

There's more storefronts.

All I see is Caucasians.

That's all I see is Caucasians.

These are all new developments too but it's yeah, it's- - New developments that we can't afford to live in.

(car horn honks) - [Melissa] It's changed just a lot.

- [Jessica] And then the people here who move here are not even friendly!

- [Melissa] Some of them are, some of them not.

- When we were living here everybody knew each other, everybody looked out for each other.

You might get one or two that say hello but they really don't speak to you.

If anything they feel intimidated when they see you comin', especially if you're black.

- You can tell that they're judging you.

I think I get judged because of my race.

Because maybe the way I dress or my nails.

Even if they see you with multiple kids, I think sometimes they feel like we got way too many kids.

I feel like the respect is not there.

It's not all of them but we get a few.

(upbeat music) (lighthearted music) I would love to live in a Caucasian's person's shoes for a day 'cause I wanna know what their day is like.

(Melissa chuckles) We'll probably sit at a restaurant or a bar for like four hours and then, "I got it!"

Like pay for my friend's stuff and I don't know.

"Oh put your card away, here take mine!"

(Melissa chuckles) No, like how much are this cost?

Split the check.

(Melissa chuckles) (lighthearted music) Humboldt Park is home and it's gonna always be home.

No matter how many changes we go through.

Oh, I spent a lot of nights here on this porch.

- [Jessica] (chuckles) Nights?

And then this is the one where Meda and them lived at.

- [Melissa] Yep.

- The good thing about the neighborhood is that we knew someone in almost every building on this block.

So we always had friends to play with.

I mean, you could come outside and people'll be on their porch and the kids'll be riding their bikes.

I remember riding my bike up and down.

My mom wouldn't let us go that far.

- [Melissa] We couldn't go down all the way.

- We couldn't go all the way down.

- We could go all the way to the corner.

But we couldn't go all the way down to that corner.

So this was like our dead end zone right here.

- Yes, so and then- - Where we could play and ride a scooter and- - Hopscotch, jump rope.

- Right, yep we used to play- - [Jessica] This is where everything happened.

- All the good.

Barbecues and birthday parties.

- Mom's rose bush still never went away.

- Yeah, it was a big old rose bush that used to go all the way to that window.

But it still won't go away.

- [Jessica] This was my room.

So I used to always hang out this window.

(somber music) - When I was 12, I was shot on my front porch.

I was out there talking to a friend and my dad, my aunt was out there with us.

I think it was around like seven or eight.

There was a empty lot here.

And I remember seeing people running past the empty lot, like ducking.

And I'm like, "What's going on?"

And I look over and my dad was sitting on the bottom of the steps with my aunt.

And I remember them all running for the door.

So I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna take off running too."

And I ran.

Went right in but went into the kitchen.

My older sister, Angie, she was like, "What's going on?"

- "Who's bleeding?"

- "Who's bleeding?"

And I looked down and all I see is blood just pouring.

I didn't know exactly what part of my body was hit but I knew that I was shot.

I was afraid.

I didn't know if I was gonna die or not.

It came in through my arm, my right arm.

And then it had exited out.

And then it had like came in through my stomach.

- It's right here.

- It came in right there.

And then it came out.

But it did take a piece of my liver.

Like a little piece - That's a cesarean cut too.

- of the liver, well it was one bullet that had did all of it.

- Yep, one bullet.

(somber music) - I'm still affected to this day.

(trunk thuds) It's times that I drive down the street and if there's too people standing on the corner or something, I won't even stop.

Are you gonna ride your bike in the front while mommy start cooking?

(television mumbles) Where Muki go?

- [Daughter] He went home.

- He went around?

Okay, you can ride around but don't go to the alley.

(wheels rumble) If I hear firecrackers, I'm still jumping from that.

Even like somebody slamming their car door real loud it gives me anxiety.

There you go Muk!

Okay, mama gonna check on the food.

I overthink everything.

Sometimes I leave the kids out in the front while I'm in the house cooking.

I'll tell my daughter like, "You know if you hear anything "just come in the house, just run straight in the house."

Or my son, I don't want him walking down the street.

I don't want him in a crowd of too many teens 'cause I want him to be safe.

(spoon clanks) There's a lot of things that still bothers me.

And I don't think that I can get past it.

(spoon clanks) - [Son] So what are you making?

- [Melissa] Chili.

You gonna eat some of my chili?

(chuckles) No?

What you gon' eat?

I think what would be helpful for my kids is if we break that pattern of when they do have kids to have to jump into living in housing.

Where they can focus on school more and know that after you done your schooling, they can get a better job or finding a better place to live.

I don't want what I have for myself, for my kids.

Before I found that I was pregnant, I did wanna go to college.

I wanted to make a different life for myself.

I probably did a semester before I found that I was expecting my child Malcolm.

So then after that I never pursued it.

It was a little let down for my mother because I know that that was something that she at least wanted from one of her kids.

And I wasn't able to do it.

(lighthearted music) I did try to pursue going back to school in January.

(knocks on door) (lighthearted music) (door squeaks) Hello my daddy!

How you doin'?

- Okay, how you doing?

- It was like so many things that you had to go through just even get started.

You had to do a placement test.

And then some of them they weren't even offering into the school, you would only be able to do online and it was only certain days.

So I never got around to, and I feel like there's so much that I have to do and I don't know.

I don't even know where to start.

How am I gonna focus on trying to go to work, trying to go to school?

- So are you saying you're not gonna do it?

- I want to but it seem I kept hitting all these walls and then I'm like, now I'm- - That's why I was telling you, take one class.

- I don't know.

- Take one class.

- But that's what I said.

But even if I take one class now it's probably have to be online.

And I'm like, am I gonna be able to focus?

And I feel like- - I mean it takes, it does take discipline, but- - Yeah?

- [Maria] Yeah I mean, you could do it though Melissa.

- Well, I feel like I have to go back to school or else if I don't I'm gonna steady be doing these dumb jobs, doing minimum wage.

- You gotta start somewhere.

(Melissa sighs) Because it seems like even if you take one class it's gonna take forever but it goes faster than you realize.

It'll come together.

(phone chimes) It'll come together.

- Yeah, I don't know.

- You've put in 16 years at Walgreens, right?

I'd think that you would do really well in school, Melissa.

I kinda feel like if I did it, like almost anybody could do it.

Because- - She went back to school in her mid 30s and she has her Master's now.

I don't know how she pulled it off but she did.

- Like for me I felt, "Yeah you did a good job "raising a family and getting a better paying job, "getting an education."

But unfortunately it seemed like when those things started to pay off for me you guys were grown already.

- Yeah.

- So you just guys didn't get a chance to reap it.

And I remember thinking to myself I should've put more time into trying to help the kids get to their dreams.

You guys kinda fell to the wayside.

- Mhmmm.

- Yeah, I think I would've liked to have changed that.

- In the times where I wasn't talking to my mom for the two years or so, I didn't have any encouragement.

What I am proud of is that she started to work on her relationships with all of us.

She's who we you know, always ask for advice and everything.

So for her to be back in that spot it's great for our whole family.

- I think a lot of people just don't feel like some things are attainable for them.

Because of you know, maybe their economics, their upbringing, their whatever.

And so it's almost like people don't have hope,.

They don't have goals, they're afraid to.

You know?

And I think like for you and you, your children are still young.

And you know, you can do that.

You have to go out there and make it happen.

You know?

- I don't know.

(light piano music) - [Maria] It'll happen.

- [Melissa] I hope so.