(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ (Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, HOW'S THIS FOR A SCENIC VIEW?

HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE, JUST BELOW THE TOWER FROM WHICH AN EVEN BETTER VIEW COULD BE SEEN, WERE THESE PRODUCERS WITH WHOM I TRAVEL NOT SO DARN CHEAP.

(Mike) EY WANT, LIKE, THREE BUCKS.

(Don) SPEAKING OF HOT SPRINGS, COULD THIS MEAN SOMEONE MISSED CURFEW LAST NIGHT?

I WAS NOT HERE, AND I WOULD NEVER DEFACE A BEAUTIFUL PUBLIC PARK LIKE THAT.

OR PUT YOUR NAME WITH A DATE.

[laughing] WITH A DATE.

I CAN'T HELP IT IF IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE LAST NIGHT'S DATE.

(Don) WE'LL GO EASY ON MIKE, SINCE HE'S STILL TRYING TO RECOVER FROM A WOUND INFLICTED BY THIS HOG HAT IN LAST WEEK'S SHOW.

CAN YOU MAKE PEACE WITH IT?

I CAN'T MAKE PEACE WITH IT.

I SEE IT IN MY SLEEP.

IT SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME.

GIVE IT A KISS; COME ON.

NO, NO, GET AWAY FROM ME.

(Don) ANYWAY, DOWN BELOW, BATH HOUSE ROW IS STILL FULL OF HISTORIC CHARM AND EARLY MORNING SHOPPING OPPORTUNITIES, GIVING US A HEAD START ON OUR UPCOMING TRIBUTE TO A PAIR OF TEXANS WHO DIED TOO SOON.

(Randy) IT'S GOING TO COME IN AWFULLY HANDY WHEN WE DO OUR TEXAN TOUR: "BLOCKER AND JOPLIN, TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME."

(Don) BUT THAT WOULD BE GETTING AHEAD OF OURSELVES, SINCE WE ARE CLEARLY-- CRYSTAL CLEARLY, I'M TEMPTED TO SAY-- STILL IN ARKANSAS.

(Randy) "CRYSTAL" STUFF IS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

(Mike) I KNOW; IT'S EVERYWHERE.

CRYSTAL MOTEL, CRYSTAL CAFE, CRYSTAL MASSAGE PARLOR.

(Don) BUT NOT JUST CRYSTALS; THERE'S PYRAMIDS OUT HERE TOO, EVEN SOME LARGE MAN-MADE ONES, AT LEAST ACCORDING TO SOMETHING RANDY REMEMBERS READING SOMEWHERE.

COULD BE NEAR MOUNT IDA OR MAYBE NEARER TO NORMAN.

SINCE WE'RE NOT SURE, WE'RE ACTUALLYOING TO STOP HERE AND ASK.

AT LEAST THE NATIVES APPEAR TO BE FRIENDLY.

[laughter] SO NOW, ARMED WITH THE PIE THAT IS THE TOAST OF MELBA'S AND A FEW MORE VAGUE DIRECTIONS, WE ARE COMMITTED TO WANDERING AROUND THE WEST CENTRAL PORTION OF THE STATE.

WELL, SOMEWHERE OUT HERE, DONNIE.

I BET IT'S UP THERE.

IT'S EITHER UP THERE OR UP HERE.

LET'S TRY UP THERE.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

(Randy) WELL, WE'RE ABOUT A MILE HERE NOW, SO PYRAMID'S GOING TO APPEAR ANY TIME.

(Don) THEY COULD APPEAR AMID THE TREES.

(Mike) I THINK THEY'RE RIGHT UP HERE.

OOH, THERE THEY ARE!

YAY!

(Randy) OH.

THESE ARE THE PYRAMIDS THAT WERE BUILT BY THE SPIRITUAL-SEEKING GUY, I THINK, TO HELP PEOPLE COME FEEL THE POWER.

(Mike) GREAT PYRAMIDS OF ARKANSAS.

(Randy) HAVE YOU GOT A GOOD SHOT OF THAT TELEPHONE POLE THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?

I AM VERY PLEASED WITH US.

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL SMUG OR ANYTHING.

(Mike) NO, I DON'T EITHER.

(Randy) YEAH, ACTUALLY, I DO.

WE FOUND IT!

YES!

YES!

(Don) AFTER LOTS OF SELF-CONGRATULATING AND A BRIEF PRODUCER-TYPE DISCUSSION, THE BOYS DECIDED THAT WHOEVER BUILT THESE SO FAR AWAY FROM PEOPLE MIGHT NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED AND WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST HEAD BACK FOR CIVILIZATION... OR, IN THIS CASE, THE TOWN OF MENA, WHICH SITS ON HIGHWAY 71, A MAJOR NORTH-SOUTH ROUTE THAT WILL TAKE US TO OUR NEXT DESTINATION, GRANNIS, WHERE CHAIN-LINK BY THE MILES HAS BEEN WELDED TOGETHER TO SPREAD A MESSAGE THAT ROBERT WELLS SAYS CAME TO HIM IN A VISION.

(Wells) THIS IS THE FIRST THING I HAD TO BUILD.

IT GOT KNOCKED DOWN IN THE ICE STORM.

IT'S THIS "I BELIEVE."

IT'S HEAVY MESSAGE, IS WHAT IT'S CALLED-- LITERALLY AND FOR REAL.

AND THE CHAINS REPRESENTS THE CHAINS LIFTED OF BONDAGE OFF THE WORLD, LINKED UP TO THE KINGDOM, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY FORGED INTO THE WORD.

IT'S HEAVY.

THIS IS ACTUALLY AN ANTENNA.

YOU CAN GET RIGHT IN HERE AND GET ALL THE INFORMATION THAT I'M GIVING YOU WITHOUT IT BEING SAID.

EVERYTHING HERE ACTUALLY HAS A MESSAGE BEHIND IT.

YEAH, THAT'S THE SCALES OF JUSTICE AND THE WORLD'S IMBALANCE.

THIS IS LIKE WHERE IT SAYS TO SPEAK THINGS THAT ARE NOT AS IF THEY WERE.

EVERYTHING THAT'S SAID IN THIS MESSAGE JUST CONTINUES TO BE SAID INTO THE FUTURE.

NO PAINTING, NO FIXING, BECAUSE IT BUILDS UP A RESISTANCE TO THE WEATHER, A NATURAL PATINA.

IT JUST TURNS RED AND STOPS RUSTING.

THEY SAY IT CAN SET RIGHT THERE FOR 2,000 YEARS.

THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.

THEY JUST NEEDED TO BE LIFTED UP, AND BESIDES THAT, WHEN I PUT THAT OUT THERE, EVERY TIME ONE OF EM RESPONDS TO IT, IT LIFTS ME UP.

[horn honking] AND I CAN TELL, NOW, REGULARS AND A NEWCOMER, BECAUSE THEY BLOW THEIR HORN DIFFERENT.

I USED TO CALL IT LUCKY, BUT IT'S--ACTUALLY, I WAS LED TO THE MATERIALS, MAN.

THERE'S A SCRIPTURE ABOUT, "THERE'S A FORTUNE TO BE MADE IN THE SPOILS."

WELL, SEE, ALL MY LIFE, HE HAS HAD ME RESTORING AND HAD ME UTILIZING AND USING ANYTHING THAT I WOULD FIND IN ABUNDANT.

YEAH, THIS IS WAGON RIMS, BUGGY RIMS, AND THEN A CONVEYOR CHAIN THAT CARRIES FEED AROUND THESE CHICKEN HOUSES.

YEAH, IT SPINS.

IT MOVES EVERY WAY THAT-- (Randy) OH, MY.

(Wells) EV ERY WAY THAT A GLOBE MOVES.

SEE, THIS IS ALSO A PRAYER.

WHEN I'M JUST TRYING TO PUT SOMETHING TOGETHER, I HAVE TO PUT IT TOGETHER JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DID, JUST KIND OF HIT AND MISS, I GUESS.

BUT THERE'S NONE OF THESE PIECES THAT WENT TOGETHER THAT WAY.

I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO AND WAS ON FIRE DOING IT.

I'VE BEEN TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD'LL KNOW WHAT'S BEEN DONE HERE SOMEDAY, AND, SEE, I'M JUST PROUD TO BE THE WELDER, SEE, BECAUSE I'VE SAID NOTHING.

THERE'S NOTHING HERE THAT I SAID, NOTHING HERE THAT I DONE OTHER THAN JUST EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TOLD TO DO.

BUT I WAS TOLD WHAT TO BELIEVE WHILE I WAS DOING IT.

(Don) NOW ROBERT HOPES THAT SPREADING THE MESSAGE THIS WAY WILL HELP UNIFY ALL PEOPLE, INCLUDING, I GUESS, TV WEASELS WHO, IN FACT, AT THIS MOMENT, ARE SEEKING HOPE THEMSELVES.

(Mike) HOPE--WELL, THERE YOU GO.

HOME OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST MELONS.

(Don) HOWEVER, THIS HAIL TO THE CHIEF ISN'T WHAT WE EXPECTED.

SO SCORE IT NATURAL DISASTERS ONE, CURIOSITY SEEKERS ZERO.

THE GAMES RESUME TOMORROW.

WELL, I'LL ROLL FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES.

[horse chuffs] SURE ENOUGH, WE'VE GOT SUNSHINE ON OUR SHOULDER NOW AS WE HEAD SOUTH AGAIN ON 71, PASSING BY YET ANOTHER OUT-OF-THE-ORDINARY FRONT YARD ATTRACTION THAT CAN'T HELP BUT CATCH OUR EYE.

LOOKS LIKE A SCRAP WOOD BOMBER SQUADRON TO ME.

AND JUST ACROSS THE WAY, A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT ENGLISH TEACHERS WOULD CALL FORESHADOWING.

BUT FIRST WE'RE FUELING IN FOUKE.

THIS IS THE MONSTER MART, RETAIL GROUND ZERO FOR PRESERVING AND PROMOTING THE LEGEND OF THE BIG, HAIRY SWAMP CREATURE COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE BOGGY CREEK MONSTER.

IT'S RIGHT THERE.

HI!

(Don) YOU'RE NO MONSTER.

(Roberts) HE'S BEEN HERE SINCE THE '50s, AND WE STILL HAVE SIGHTINGS FROM TIME TO TIME.

MOST PEOPLE THINK IT'S A COUSIN TO BIGFOOT.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS, THESE HAVE SMALLER FEET.

(Randy) RE ALLY?

WE TOOK SOME PRINTS, MADE OUT OF PLASTER OF PARIS, AND THEY'RE 13.5 INCHES LONG.

(Don) I GOT COUSINS LIKE THAT.

(Mike) WHAT'S THE MOST COMMON REACTION?

WHEN PEOPLE SEE HIM, DO THEY RUN?

DO THEY... (Roberts) OH, YEAH.

MOST PEOPLE SMELL IT FIRST.

(Mike) OH , IT'S GOT AN ODOR.

GOT A REAL STRONG ODOR LIKE URINE.

(Don) I GOT COUSINS LIKE THAT.

[laughter] (Roberts) IT'S BEEN ALMOST 30 YEARS SINCE THE MOVIE COME OUT, AND WE STILL HAVE TOURISTS EVERY DAY THAT SEEN THE MOVIE AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.

(Randy) AND YOU'RE JUST HAPPY THAT TH EY'RE SHOPPING HERE IN FOUKE.

FOUKE.

(Randy) LE T'S ALL SAY THAT ONCE MORE.

(all) FOUKE.

'CAUSE WE WERE HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THAT NAME.

(Roberts) EVERYBODY DOES.

(Mike) I' LL BET.

EVERYBODY DOES.

(Don) IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME THAT WE BID ARKANSAS ADIEU, BACKTRACKING A BIT INTO THE LONE STAR STATE.

OUR DESTINATION: DeKALB, BOYHOOD HOME AND, SAD TO SAY, FINAL RESTING PLACE OF EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE PLUS-SIZE COWPOKE, BIG DAN BLOCKER.

HE WAS EVERY MOTHER'S SON.

HE WAS LOVABLE.

HE WASN'T--HOW MANY PEOPLE DID HE THROW IN A TROUGH?

OH, EVERY WEEK.

ENDLESS NUMBER.

(Don) I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR DAN HERE.

I GOT MY BONANZA LUNCH BUCKET FROM GRADE SCHOOL, WHICH IS-- VERY TIGHT SECURITY HERE.

OH, THAT'S A BEAUTY.

HOP SING MADE A LITTLE FRESH COFFEE FOR YOU, RANDY.

THERE YOU GO.

NICE, STOUT ONE FOR YOU.

I'LL TAKE A SIP, AND THEN WE'LL LEAVE IT FOR HOSS.

(Don) HA DN'T BEEN FOR DAN, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE IN TV, AND PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE WATCHING THIS NOW.

NEITHER WOULD ALEX KARRAS, BECAUSE I THINK DAN BLOCKER WOULD HAVE GOT ALL THE ROLES THAT WENT TO ALEX KARRAS LATER ON, HAD DAN JUST LIVED A FEW YEARS LONGER.

(Don) MONGO GRATEFUL.

AS THANKS FOR ALL THAT, WE'RE LEAVING HOSS THIS SMALL SNACK ALONG WITH A BIG REMINDER OF WHY WE SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SING.

(all) ♪ FORTUNE SMILED THE DAY WE FILED THE PONDEROSA CLAIM ♪ ♪ HERE IN THE WEST, WHERE LIVING IS BEST.

♪ ♪ BONANZA.

♪ ♪ IF ANYONE FIGHTS ANY ONE OF US, ♪ ♪ HE'S GOTTA FIGHT WITH ME.

♪ ♪ HOSS AND JOE AND ADAM KNOW EVERY ROCK AND PINE.

♪ ♪ (Don) NO DOUBT OUR BOVINE AUDIENCE WOULD BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT WE'RE BOUND FOR BEAUMONT, A FULL FOUR HOURS OF EAST TEXAS DRIVING AWAY, THOUGH, THROUGH THE MIRACLE OF TV, IT WILL HAPPEN IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.

YOU MAY NOTICE THAT THE PRECIPITATION HAS PRECEDED US, MAKING ACCESS TO OUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT ALL THE MORE DIFFICULT.

HERE AT THE END OF THIS LONG, MUDDY LANE, CHARLIE STAGG SPINS SPIRALING STRANDS OF VISIONARY ART IN A SPRAWLING COMPLEX UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE SEEN BEFORE.

(Stagg) THIS, ACTUALLY, WAS MY MOTHER'S LAND, AND NOW I PROUDLY OWN IT.

[laughs] I SLEPT HERE AND LIVED HERE FOR 15 YEARS.

I GOT ALONG JUST FINE.

COURSE, I WAS YOUNGER THEN.

DRINKING A LOT OF BEER.

(Mike) AP PARENTLY.

[laughter] (Stagg) A PERSON CAN SLEEP IN A LOG IF THEY GET ENOUGH BEER.

[laughs] (Randy) I WANT TO ASK YOU IF THIS WAS A FRONT ENTRANCE, A SIDE ENTRANCE?

ARE WE LOOKING AT THE WRONG SIDE OF ALL THIS, OR IS THERE A WRONG SIDE?

[laughs] NO, NO.

ACTUALLY, I KIND OF PONDER THAT VERY SHORTLY EVERY NOW AND THEN, BUT NOT FOR LONG, 'CAUSE IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

I'M JUST OUT HERE.

I JUST BUILT IT.

I DIDN'T REALLY-- I DIDN'T RELATE TO ANYTHING, MEASUREMENTS OR ANYTHING.

I JUST BUILT IT, AND I BUILT IT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF WATCHING LITTLE OL' BITTY BUGS.

[laughs] YOU KNOW, THE WAY WASPS MAKE THEIR NESTS, AND DIRT DIVERS.

THEY'RE AMAZING, AND THEY TAUGHT ME, ACTUALLY, HOW TO BE ABLE TO WORK ALONE AND GET SOMETHING DONE.

YOU STAY AT IT.

YOU DON'T STOP.

YOU KEEP ON GOING.

(Mike) SO YOU HAULED ALL THE MATERIALS.

EVERY BIT OF IT, AND IT BEAT THE [bleep] OUT OF ME.

[laughter] SORRY.

WATCH WHERE I STEP.

(Mike) HERE'S THAT TITLEIST YOU LOST ON HOLE THREE, I THINK, TUCKED IN HERE.

(Randy) ARE PEOPLE INTIMIDATED BY IT, OR?

(Stagg) SOME ARE, BUT I FIGURE THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE IF THEY WANT TO BE.

UP TO NO GOOD THEN.

(Mike) WOW, THESE ARE GREAT.

(Randy) IS THIS ALL CARVED?

IS THAT HOW YOU DO THAT?

(Stagg) YEAH, I JUST WHITTLE IT DOWN.

(Mike) IT'S WHITTLED OFF.

(Stagg) YEAH.

I WANT ALL OF MY WORK TO BE ABLE TO BE CHANGED AROUND.

LIKE, THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON HERE NECESSARILY, YOU KNOW.

IT COULD BE OFF OF THERE AND ONTO SOMETHING ELSE, OR BY ITSELF.

(Randy) YOU SAID THEY WERE UNPAINTED, BUT, BOY, NOW THERE'S AN EXPLOSION OF COLOR.

(Stagg) YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT EVERYTHING HAS COLOR, AND I DIDN'T NECESSARILY WANT TO REPRODUCE TREES HERE, BUT THIS IS-- ALL IT IS, IS TREES.

THE FLOWERS ARE LIKE A BLACK HOLE TO ME.

IT'S WHERE MATTER GETS REBORN.

[laughs] (Randy) SO THE WOOD PIECES INSPIRED YOU TO WORK OUT HERE, IN SOME WAYS.

(Stagg) ACTUALLY, IT'S KIND OF LIKE I WASN'T SELLING THAT MUCH, AND SO I REALLY NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY TIME, RATHER THAN JUST KEEP ON REPRODUCING WORK.

THEN I JUST WENT THROUGH A PHASE I STILL AM IN WHERE I DON'T CARE WHETHER I SELL ANYTHING OR NOT.

[laughs] I HAVE A MOTTO, YOU KNOW.

UNLESS I'M IN THE HOSPITAL, I GOTTA DO A LITTLE BIT OF WORK EVERY DAY, A LITTLE BIT OF SOMETHING I CONSIDER CREATIVE.

(Don) CHARLIE SAYS HE NAMED THE PLACE AFTER HIS MOTHER, AND THOUGH HE'S QUIT DRINKING BEER, THERE'S STILL PLENTY OF WILDLIFE HERE TO PRESERVE.

NOW HERE'S A CONUNDRUM FOR A VEGETARIAN LIKE MYSELF.

THE BOYS SAY OUR NEXT STOP IS A STEAK HOUSE, BUT IT'S NOT THE FOOD SO MUCH AS THE ART WE'RE AFTER.

THE SOMEWHAT INCONGRUOUSLY DISPLAYED WORK IN WOOD WORKED ON BY A GREEK IMMIGRANT NAMED JOHN GAVRELOS, WHICH HE CALLED THE "EYES OF THE WORLD."

MR. JOHN PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, AND SO I WAS FORTUNATE TO BE, YOU KNOW, OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND, AND WE TALKED A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHAT HE'S DONE BACK HERE.

HE GOT THE IDEA FROM A PLACE IN LOUISIANA WHEN HE WORKED FOR A MAN THAT HAD A CANDY FACTORY.

HE SAW AND WAS AMAZED BY THE CANDY MOLDS THAT HE SAW THERE WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG BOY AND SAID, "WHY CAN'T IT BE DONE IN WOOD?"

SO ONE DAY, HE JUST STARTED WHITTLING, AND, YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHAT HE DID.

THE DETAIL IS JUST UNBELIEVABLE AND THE WAY HE WAS ABLE TO WHITTLE AND TO-- 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN TO THE PARTHENON.

I'VE BEEN TO THE ACROPOLIS, AND IT'S THERE.

(Mike) HE CARVED AND WHITTLED AND MADE THESE OUT OF CIGAR BOXES?

(Gavrelos) HE USED CIGAR BOXES.

HE USED THE WOOD FROM, LIKE, FRUIT CRATES, SOME PLYWOODS, AND HAD HIS WHITTLERS.

HE HAD SOME OF THE POWER TOOLS TOO, I'M SURE, BUT MOST OF THE INTRICATE, DETAILED STUFF, IT'S DONE BY HAND.

(Randy) DID IT CHANGE ORDER, DO YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, WAS IT ALWAYS LAID OUT ONE-- (Gavrelos) IT'S LAID OUT RIGHT NOW THE WAY IT WAS WHEN IT WAS PUT IN THERE, YEAH, IN '59.

(Randy) SO IF WE WENT IN THERE AND MOVED SOMETHING, YOU'D KNOW.

I'D--YEAH.

IF YOU MOVE A LITTLE MAN OR SOMETHING, I MIGHT NOT KNOW, BUT, I MEAN-- (Randy) I'M NOT SAYING WE'RE GOING TO.

(Mike) BASICALLY, YOU TOUCH IT, YOU LOSE THE ARM.

IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT; THE ARMS GOES.

(Gavrelos) THE BIGGEST THING THAT AMAZES ME IS, I KNOW WHAT THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS IS LIKE AND THE TIME.

WHAT GETS ME IS HOW HE FOUND TIME, YOU KNOW, STRUGGLING TO GET HERE TO DO THIS.

IT'S JUST BEYOND ME.

WE TAKE IT FOR GRANTED SOMETIMES.

IT'S BEEN IN THE PAPER HERE IN BEAUMONT NUMEROUS TIMES, BEEN IN TEXAS MONTHLY, AMAZING AMERICA.

BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED THE PEOPLE THAT COME HERE THAT'S BEEN EATING HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE THAT PROBABLY DON'T KNOW.

(Randy) THE PROBLEM IS, MOST VEGETARIANS WILL NEVER SEE IT.

NO.

NO, AND MAYBE TH AT'S NO BIG LOSS.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IF SUBWAY GETS SOMETHING LIKE THIS... (Randy) SUBWAY!

SUBWAY!

(Don) THEY'RE LAUGHING NOW, BUT REMEMBER, THE GUY WITH THE CAMERA REALLY IS THE EYES OF THE WORLD.

NEED I SAY MORE?

moo!

[with accent] NOKONA IS, OF COURSE, A LITTLE BETTER-LOOKING THAN THIS REPRESENTATION.

JUST WANTED THE BEST BOY TO KNOW HOW MUCH I WAS MISSING HIM AND WOULD BE HAPPY TO BRING HIM ALONG IF THIS CHRYSLER WASN'T SO CROWDED.

OUR GOAL IS TO GET THIS INTO THIS AND THEN BE COMFORTABLE.

[laughs] (Don) AND SPEAKING OF VANS, OURS IS CONSIDERABLY LESS COLORFUL THAN THIS ONE, CREATED BY AN ARTIST AND PREACHER NAMED XMEAH, WHO SAYS IT'S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL PAINT JOBS AND 1 MILLION MILES.

(Xmeah) WE CALL IT A BURNING BUSH EFFECT.

AND YOU SEE, FROM A DISTANCE, ALL YOU SEE IS JUST REAL BRIGHT COLORS.

AND WHEN YOU SEE THE COLORS, YOU GET DRAWN TO IT.

PEOPLE HAVE SEEN IT ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THEY NEVER SEE THE DRIVER.

(Mike) LOOKS LIKE GLITTER, GLUE, AND ALL KINDS OF OTHER THINGS THERE?

(Xmeah) YEAH, WHAT YOU TAKE HERE'S AN OIL-BASE PAINT.

AND WHILE IT'S STILL WET, YOU SPRINKLE THE GLITTER IN IT, AND THEN IT'LL DRY IN IT.

I WAS SAYING, WATCH THAT ANT BED BEHIND YOU.

AM I STEPPING IN AN ANT THING?

IT'LL BE MORE THAN JUST AN INTERVIEW; IT'LL BE SOME INDIAN WAR DANCING AROUND HERE.

[laughs] (Mike) I GOTTA ASK YOU, IS IT HARD-- YOU MAKE A BEAUTIFUL PAINTING THERE, AND THEN YOU PAINT OVER IT SIX MONTHS LATER?

(Xmeah) OH, NO.

WHEN INSPIRATION COMES, THAT WHICH WAS IS NOT AS EXCITING AS THAT WHICH IS COMING.

I'LL BE EXCITED TO SEE WHATEVER'S COMING OUT.

THE THING I DON'T LIKE IS FOR THINGS TO BE HIDDEN.

I WAS NOT GIVEN TO DO THIS WORK FOR IT TO BE HIDDEN.

IT IS LIGHT.

AS THE LORD SAID, YOU DON'T PUT A CANDLE UNDER A BUSHEL; YOU PUT IT ON A CANDLESTICK TO GIVE LIGHT TO THE WHOLE ROOM.

(Randy) WHAT IS THIS PAINTED ON?

(Xmeah) PLYWOOD.

(Randy) JUST PLYWOOD.

IS THAT WHAT YOU PREFER TO WORK ON, OR DOES IT MATTER?

NO PREFERENCE.

YEAH, AS LONG AS I CAN LAY IT DOWN AND WORK ON IT-- (Cherry) AND STAND IT STILL.

(Xmeah) YEAH, AND STAND STILL, DON'T MOVE TOO MUCH, I'LL PAINT YOU.

IS THAT MICHAEL UP THERE?

IS THAT THE ARCHANGEL MICHAEL?

(Xmeah) NO.

YOU SEE, THIS IS SPEAKING.

NOW, THAT WILL PERTAIN TO A MESSENGER ANGEL.

I HAVE TO HAVE THE WAR ANGEL ALSO PRESENT WITH ME AT ALL TIMES, NOW, BECAUSE AN ENEMY WILL STOP YOU FROM DOING THE THINGS THAT YOU'RE GIVEN TO DO.

(Randy) FIRE ANTS WORKING FOR YOU?

(Xmeah) OH, NO, NO.

WELL, AS LONG AS I DON'T STAND IN 'EM-- YOU'VE GOT US A LITTLE NERVOUS NOW.

YEAH.

AS WE ALWAYS SAY, THE LORD SAID, IF YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY, GET SOMETHING TO REMIND YOU, ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND YOU.

IF YOU STAND IN THE WRONG PLACE, THE ANTS LET YOU KNOW.

THEY'LL REMIND YOU.

(Don) THOUGH HE HASN'T BEEN OVER TO SEE IT YET, XMEAH AND HIS WIFE, CHERRY, BOTH HAVE PIECES ON DISPLAY AT THE ART MUSEUM OF SOUTHEAST TEXAS, WHICH WE ARE HEADING TOWARDS.

I'M KIND OF EXCITED ABOUT SEEING THIS.

(Don) HAPPY TO DISCOVER THAT IT IS BOTH FREE AND CHOCK-FULL OF ART BY SELF-TAUGHT ARTISTS, INCLUDING BEAUMONT'S LATE, GREAT TOTEM MAKER, FELIX "FOX" HARRIS, ALSO KNOWN TO SOME AS THE "VOODOO MAN."

(Carter) WHEN YOU WENT DOWN THE STREET, YOU WERE STUNNED.

I MEAN, IT WAS JUST THIS-- HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS OF TOTEMS.

SILVER, RED, BLUE.

SOME OF THEM WHIRLING; SOME OF THEM JUST STANDING STRAIGHT.

ALL OUT OF FOUND OBJECTS.

YOU COULD HARDLY WALK THROUGH IT.

HE CUT OUT EVERYTHING WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND A HAMMER.

AND I WOULD SAY, "HOW DO YOU GET YOUR DESIGNS?"

AND HE'D SAY, "WELL, I JUST DRAW 'EM."

HE SAID, "I DRAW 'EM."

AND HE SAYS, "TAKE NOTHING, MAKE SOMETHING."

HE SAID, "A BIRD BUILDS ITS NEST; I CAN BUILD ANYTHING."

HE WOULD WANDER ON STILTS.

HE WOULD REPAIR THEM.

IT WAS A PRACTICAL USE.

HE CALL THEM "TOM WALKERS."

WHEN YOU WENT DOWN THAT STREET-- I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES YOU'D BEEN DOWN THERE-- AND YOU SAW THIS WORK, IT WAS CLEARLY SOMETHING OF THE SPIRIT.

IT WAS CLEARLY FOR SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF.

HE HAD BUILT A SMALL PLATFORM IN THE TALLEST TREE, WHICH WAS PRETTY TALL, WHERE, WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER, HE WOULD CLIMB UP, HE WOULD TELL ME, AND SIT UP THERE AND LOOK DOWN UPON ALL THIS, "'CAUSE THAT'S HOW GOD WOULD SEE IT."

(Castle) THERE WAS A LOT OF CONTROVERSY WHEN THE FELIX "FOX" HARRISES WERE FIRST INSTALLED OUT ON THE GROUND.

THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE THAT WERE JUST LIVID ABOUT IT, BECAUSE WE HAD RAISED ALL THIS MONEY FOR THIS POSTMODERN BUILDING, AND THEN WE HAD THESE TOTEMS THAT WERE OUT IN FRONT, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE JUNK AND THAT THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN DOWN IMMEDIATELY.

AND THEY WOULD YELL AT US AND SCREAM AT US AS WE WERE INSTALLING THEM ON THE GROUNDS.

BUT I THINK THAT'S CHANGED; I REALLY DO.

(Mike) YOUR BIGGEST COLLECTION HERE IS REALLY THIS KIND OF WORK.

(Castle) MM-HMM.

(Mike) IT'S WHAT MAKES THIS MUSEUM IS SPECIAL.

(Castle) IT IS, AND IT'S GROWING.

AND PEOPLE HERE REALLY ARE STARTING TO APPRECIATE IT, WHICH IS REALLY WONDERFUL.

I MEAN, THEY'RE REALLY GETTING EXCITED ABOUT IT.

THIS MUSEUM CATERS VERY HEAVILY TO CHILDREN AND FAMILIES, AND WE ELICIT A VERY GOOD RESPONSE FROM OUR CHILDREN WITH SELF-TAUGHT ARTISTS.

(Mike) YEAH, KIDS TEND TO LOVE THIS WORK, 'CAUSE THEY CAN REALLY RELATE TO IT.

(Castle) THEY CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO IT.

THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE KIND OF ART TOO, BECAUSE IT'S SO FULL OF LIFE, AND IT'S SO ORIGINAL.

AND WORKING WITH THE ARTISTS, I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST SUCH FASCINATING PEOPLE, AND THEY'RE USUALLY JUST-- THEY'RE REALLY IN IT BECAUSE THEIR HEART'S IN IT.

THEY'RE NOT IN IT FOR THE MONEY; THEY'RE NOT IN IT FOR THE FAME.

THEY'RE IN IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE THIS INNER DRIVE TO CREATE, AND THAT'S REALLY WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT, I MEAN, AS FAR AS A MUSEUM.

I MEAN, IT GETS DOWN TO THE VERY BASIC, GUTS LEVEL OF WHY WE EXIST.

BECAUSE WE WANT TO PERPETUATE CREATIVITY IN EVERYONE-- NOT JUST ARTISTS BUT IN EVERYONE THAT COMES INTO THE MUSEUM.

(Don) NOW, BEING IN BEAUMONT MEANS YOU ARE PRACTICALLY IN PORT ARTHUR, WHICH SOME MIGHT RECOGNIZE AS THE HOMETOWN OF JANIS JOPLIN, ANOTHER TEXAN WHO DIED TOO YOUNG.

(Mike) THIS IS WHERE THEY FILMED THE MOVIE KING CONCH, WASN'T IT?

(Don) AFTER OOHING AND AHHING AT THIS SPECTACULAR WALL O' SHELLS JUST A COUPLE OF BLOCKS FROM THE GULF, WE PULLED MIKE AWAY FROM HIS TRUE CALLING AND ADJOURNED WITH OUR GIRL GUIDE, JANNA, TO PLAY SOME CATCH IN THE NOW-VACANT LOT WHERE SHE'S ALMOST CERTAIN THE JOPLINS' HOUSE ONCE STOOD.

(Mike) WHAT HAPPENED TO JANIS' HOUSE IF, INDEED, IT WAS HERE?

I THINK THEY TRIED TO AUCTION IT OFF OR SELL.

I DON'T THINK THERE WAS ENOUGH TAKERS, SO THEY TORE THE PLACE DOWN, BUT THERE'S ANOTHER HOUSE IN TOWN THAT SHE LIVED IN TOO.

CHARGE IT!

GOT IT.

THANK YOU.

(Randy) SINCE, REALLY, YOU'RE THE REASON THAT WE'VE STAYED IN BEAUMONT SO LONG... WELL, THANKS.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FO R YOURSELF?

OH, I'M GLAD YOU GOT TO SEE SO MUCH.

OOPS.

I LIKE IT HERE.

IT'S A GREAT PLACE.

A LOT OF NICE ARTISTS.

DOES THE PHRASE "FREAKIN' HOT," THOUGH, MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

I THINK MY EYELASHES ARE ACTUALLY SWEATING.

BOOM.

(Don) SO JANIS AND DAN, THIS CATCH IS FOR YOU.

WITH FIRE ANTS ON MY MIND, THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

NO, DON'T GET THAT HAT ANYWHERE NEAR ME.

GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME.

GET IT AWAY.

IT ALREADY TOOK A BITE OUT OF MY NOSE.

(Don) THAT'S A GREAT SHOT.

LOOK WHAT IT DID.

OH, I GAVE THAT ONE UP FOR THE TEAM.

HOW'S YOUR NOSE, BY THE WAY?

MY NOSE IS WOUNDED, SORE.

(Don) BUT THE PUBLIC BOUGHT US $11 WORTH OF NEOSPORIN PLUS.

(Don) ♪ DUN DUN, DUN DUN, DUN DUN.

♪ ♪ I'M THINKING ABOUT SUING FOR THE SHARP EDGE ON THE FRONT.

MIKE FACES HIS FEARS.

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