This is Connections.

I'm Evan Dawson.

Our connection this hour is made in the thousands of western New York households where kids are growing up without active fathers in the city of Rochester.

We tried to pull data from a number of sources here, and it does look accurate to say that there are more than 70% of families in the city headed by a single parent.

That is more than 16,000 households.

The vast majority of those homes are led by single mothers with an absent or uninvolved father.

In Monroe County, the broader area surrounding all the way around Rochester, here's the number 42% of families are single parent households.

The national average is 34%.

So if you're in Monroe County, it's higher than the average.

If you're in the city of Rochester, it is close to or the highest in the country.

And the impact on children is enormous.

For the more than 18 million American kids who don't have a father around, they are much more likely to drop out of high school.

71% of high school dropouts are fatherless.

Kids without active fathers are much more likely to go to jail, much more likely to have mental health issues.

It is a long list.

And in our region, there have been a number of initiatives over the years to not only help the kids who don't have two active parents, but there have also been mentoring initiatives aimed at getting men more involved with their own families.

And this hour, we're exploring how one organization is trying to do work in this sphere.

And I want to welcome our guests.

Now.

Mike Hennessey is executive director of youth for Christ Rochester, former director of the Open Door Mission.

It's been a little while.

It's nice to see you back here, Mike.

>> Oh, it's great to be back.

>> Thanks and welcome as well to Lewis Kirwin.

Next to Mike Lewis is a mentor.

Welcome.

Thank you for being here.

And Felix Ortiz who is the coach of the basketball program with the organization today.

And I'm sure a mentor for many people.

Welcome.

Thanks for being here.

>> Thank you.

Thank you for allowing me to be here.

>> Mike, when you reached out to talk about this issue I, you know, I was learning a little bit more about what you've been doing in the last since the last time I saw you.

So tell people a little bit about what youth for Christ is here.

>> Youth for Christ is a USA is based in Inglewood, Colorado.

There's a 400 chapters across the country.

It was birthed in 1947. a gentleman named.

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm not going to remember his name.

>> We'll find it for you.

It happens to me too.

It's.

>> He led a revival here at the at the at the old baseball stadium.

do you know, coach?

>> it's coming to me.

I'm.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> Torrey Johnson.

no.

>> No, he was in the evangelist for ten presidents.

Okay.

>> That's right.

We'll we'll find it, Mike.

>> It'll come anyway.

He was he was the first full time employee in 1947.

Rochester actually became a chapter in 1947.

He, that gentleman, I can't remember his name, visited a couple times.

So the organization works with 11 to 19-year-old kids, boys and girls structured mostly.

And for years, Rochester was like this.

They have an office somewhere in the city or the suburbs, and they go into the schools and they have clubs and they have after school programs, and they have they go into teach kids their purpose, and their identity can be in something other than culture and in Christ, actually.

And ours.

Our program is unique.

We had a very involved donor and a group of churches that wanted to have a greater impact on at risk city kids in our city and around the turn of the century they started leasing that building that we're in now, which is the former RIT Sports Complex, built in 1954 for their downtown campus.

And that's why it has an ice arena connected to it.

it's the first thing you see on your left when you cross the bridge.

When you're on 490 West and you see the Paul Ice Arena, we own the other half of that building, which is the gymnasium side.

And we have basketball programs in there, and we bring young kids in to give them a safe sanctuary and a Christ culture with a strict code of conduct in our in our community, too, because I think that's lacking.

If you haven't got a father in your home you've lacked a strict code of conduct, and kids need it.

Kids need boundaries.

we also have a middle school girls program called God's Girls.

When I got there five years ago, we had a program called Parent Life Teen Pregnancy Support Program.

So we would work with 15, 16, 17-year-old girls that became pregnant, made the, we think, courageous decision to keep that child.

And they need to be surrounded by a group of moms to navigate life, to become independent.

in our society.

And when I came, I thought, I love that program, but what if we were to start a program for middle school girls and teach them their purpose and identity can be in something other than culture and prevent the pregnancy in the first place.

And that program is really taken off.

We're in a we've got one in we're in three schools last summer, last school year.

This year we're in one.

But we're teaching the whole school.

We're in we're we're teaching 200 kids in that one school.

Rochester.

Charter Academy on Genesee Street.

So we're giving kids an opportunity to have their purpose and identity and create vision above and beyond what they're what they may be getting in culture.

>> So one school this year, three in the past.

But roughly how many people are you working with on an annual basis?

>> so at this point, we're 200 kids with God's girls.

We work with at least 2 to 300 boys during the course of the year.

Coach.

And our performing arts academy is touching you know, another hundred kids.

So, you know, around 500 kids we're touching every year.

>> The subject of children growing up without an active father is one that I understand can be sensitive.

Do you think there's a cultural taboo in some circles of talking about it?

>> I do.

There's a stigma attached to it.

but we've learned and I learned this at the mission.

When we were at the mission, we shined a light on the idea that there were homeless kids within the school district.

In fact, 2000 homeless kids within this.

Nobody wanted to talk about that either.

>> But they talk about it all the time.

>> Now, right?

Right.

And because we we are actually the ones that discovered that they were housing moms and kids at the Hotel Cadillac, if you remember that that was the that was like a trigger for the community.

Okay.

We need to do something about this.

And that's where we we created the Cold Water house came out of that.

The the ministry out in gates that works with single moms in a transitional program.

The single moms and kids together to get them a safe sanctuary in a place where they can get surrounded by people and get independent of their situation.

But and the same thing is with Fatherlessness, I was I have another I have a little radio show myself.

You're aware of that?

I was had a guest on named Reggie Cox.

Reggie Cox started the Fatherhood Connection.

30 years ago.

Fatherhood connection, started by the county.

to they realized they had men and fathers in prison and in parole and in work programs and in jail.

That needed to become a better dad because they had kids, but they were never had a dad.

That was modeled a good, healthy father figure modeled to them.

So how do they become a good father figure to their child?

So Reggie started a class at the Open door mission at our shelter on 210 West Main Street.

Hired by Maggie Brooks from the county and started the Fatherhood Connection.

This was in 2010, and he trains men, gives them the basics and how to be a good dad to your kid, right?

At the basic level, it's not rocket science.

It's just.

But men have to be have to learn it.

And that program is still going on today.

I had them on my show.

He told me we were talking about education and why, you know, at that time, I think we had a 55% graduation rate.

And we were talking about how is that going to work in our society?

And he said, well, we believe the root of it is to 73% fatherless homes in our city.

>> Do you think that's right?

>> I know it's right.

Yeah.

It's on the what's it called?

The website is Rochester.

It's Rochester Area Community Foundation has a website that's that's where we get that number from 73% fatherless homes.

And as soon as I heard that, I said, oh, my God, how can how do we expect to have a healthy culture without fathers in our homes?

And that's when I came on to the youth for Christ as the executive director.

And I thought, well, we need a couple new initiatives because the program, the organization had ministry had fallen on some hard times and we needed I thought we needed a couple new urgent and vital initiatives to get to bring awareness back to it.

The first one was the Fatherhood Initiative to have an impact on the 73% fatherless homes in our city by raising an army of godly father figures, because we believe there's no substitute for a godly father figure or a healthy father figure.

If you will.

and and a child's life, and especially a young man.

And so we started having a series of conferences, and we brought in men who lived this Reggie Cox, Moses Robinson, who were the.

>> Resource school resource.

>> Resource officer.

But then he became the community relations officer for the PD for 30 years.

Willie Willie Lightfoot was was our speaker.

Michael Peace from Bethel Express.

Cuevas Walker, a young, dynamic up and coming ministry leader in our city.

And Ken Sa'ar is from the glory House International Church.

So we brought in experts.

Okay, let's shine a light on this from those that that lived it and understood it.

Reggie Cox grew up in a household of ten kids without a dad, and then he became a father of ten kids and wasn't in with five different moms.

He he lived that life as a child and as a father before he, became an expert on teaching men how to be good dads.

So those were the kind of men we heard from.

And my goal was it was coach was in the gym all by himself with 30 kids, you know, on a Saturday morning.

Then we actually we eventually moved the program to Friday night to have an impact on the violence that was happening.

We wanted to give the kids a weekend night, but he was alone with 30 kids.

You can't have a safe sanctuary in a in a strict code of conduct and a Christ culture.

One on 30.

So I need men to come in this gym and begin building relationships with these boys so that we can we can provide some mentorship and give these kids some healthy role models.

And that's what we did.

We out of every all four conferences we have, you know, half a dozen few, few good men that wanted to go to the next step.

And now we have a half a dozen men that are always in our gym, working with our boys.

And Lewis is one of them.

And Coach Cordes is always there.

But Lewis is a is what I feel is a great example of what can what the relationships that can be forged.

playing basketball, you know, and and and the, the relationships that can, that can change a kid's life.

>> So if your organization is successful, what happens?

What's the tangible result?

>> Well, we've since we started the Fatherhood Initiative.

I know that we haven't had a kid that was in our program for more than six months that didn't graduate from high school.

All our kids graduate from high school.

All our kids go on to go into work or go into college or go into the next step of life.

And I think if our goal is, is if when we started the Fatherhood Initiative, it wasn't just about youth for Christ, we knew it was a bigger problem than one organization.

I mean, 73% fatherless homes represents tens of thousands of kids.

And we thought, you know so we opened it up to any organization the fathers rock.org website is is not a youth for Christ website.

It's a fatherhood initiative website because it has to fit for the mentor to.

If you're not in the basketball, you don't need to be mentoring.

In my gym.

You need to get connected with Reggie Cox or with Michael Peace, or with Cuevas Walker and go do the ministry that they do.

It has to be a fit for the mentor as well.

So in order to have an impact on more kids.

So it was the heart of it was to how to how do we create godly father figures for kids that need them?

And that's kind of where we where we are.

>> So before I talk to your colleagues here, Mike, a couple other points here.

Why do you think there is a taboo for for some folks in talking about this, you can put on your whistle hat.

You can be blunt if you want.

>> Well, let me.

Yeah.

I'm not afraid.

>> To be.

I know you're not.

>> I think the best way to describe what I see is, is let's talk about the origins of how did we get to 73% fatherless homes in 1960, the African American urban population of our country had a higher marriage rate.

Two household family than than the rest of the country at large.

But in 1965, as part of the civil rights movement, President Johnson started the great what he called the Great Society, and he created the the opportunity for we're going to fund out of wedlock births for the very first time in this country, which sounds very compassionate to single moms until they put the addendum on it.

What was passed was we're going to fund out-of-wedlock births for the very first time, unless the fathers in the household.

>> And I just like to pause there, think about that.

Think about what that did.

I was in sales for 35 years.

If you want more of something, you incentivize it.

And and I believe that in 1965, we began incentivizing fatherless homes by incentivizing welfare for single moms.

As long as dad wasn't around, I mean, Michael Piece will talk about, you know, the time in the early 70s where he was tossing a ball back and forth with his best friend in Brooklyn and at at 3:00, the dad had with the, with the, his best friend and his dad, and they were having a ball and at 3:00 the, the dad said, I got to go.

Son and son said, goodbye, dad.

I know you got to go.

And Mike said, why do you have to go?

And he said, well, the caseworker's coming over and he can't be around.

>> Okay.

So I think where the taboo that I see comes in, Mike is a consternation that some who I would call more politically progressive have.

Been having a hard conversation about the current state of reality.

And the numbers are the numbers.

There's no question that if you grow up without an active father, you're more likely to not graduate high school, not go to college, not have a job, not stay out of jail, et cetera.

three and a half times more likely to be a teen parent, that kind of thing.

I mean, the data is pretty stark, but the reason I think people are worried is they're worried that the conversation will start to move into territory of blaming black people, black culture, and as opposed to saying we've got structural problems here, that it is really hard to be poor in this country.

It's really hard to grow up with all the disadvantages that some kids who become adults have.

And so it's the obvious result of structural disadvantage.

Now, the the argument you're making is you go back to the 60s and earlier and you see a very different set of statistics instead of norms when it comes to families.

And in this case, we're talking about black families.

But is that correct?

>> Yeah, I learned this from Reggie Cox.

Okay.

He believes that.

And and you know Michael Peas believes that those that I work with, the experts that I brought in to teach us about this believe that.

>> But for the progressive listeners who are suspicious are you blaming black culture?

>> No, no.

Poverty is real.

Poverty has abject effects.

>> Because the numbers aren't just about black families, by the way.

They're about Latinos.

They're about white families.

Well, if you're growing up in this situation, it is a big challenge.

>> You quoted some stats on I think I don't know if you use suburban families or white.

The stat I know is in the in the suburban world.

Yeah.

the the the fatherless home rate is much lower.

>> It is much lower.

>> But why is that?

Why is that in the, in the black community?

It's forged out of relationships where there often isn't marriage and there often isn't a divorce and there isn't legal custody, shared custody in the suburbs.

There are, you know, there's there's.

In the suburbs, you have that, you have lawyers, you have divorce, you have legal custody.

And those families you know, the father may, may show up for two hours a week every other week and spend two hours with his kids.

but that family isn't considered fatherless to me.

It's as fatherless as anything that's going on in the urban community.

Those kids don't have a father in their life to four hours a month.

No, fatherhood is every day.

situation, every day, 24 over seven.

If you're only spending 4 or 6 hours a month with your with your kid, that home to me is just as fatherless.

And there's.

And just because there's 73% fatherless homes by that number in the city.

There are fathers that are involved in their kids, just not every day in the way that you, a father needs to be.

>> Okay.

No, I hear that.

Okay.

lastly, before I turn to the other guests here, how much do you see the problem of violence in the city of Rochester?

Well, as a result of this.

>>, easy.

I'll quote Moses Robinson, who was a school resource officer for 20 years before he was community relations.

for for RPD, when a father doesn't stay the child, boy or girl feels an urgent sense of abandonment.

They feel abandoned when their father doesn't stay.

That abandonment inwardly becomes depression.

That depression inwardly graduates to anger, and that anger outwardly is demonstrated in violence.

And we see it every day.

>> In late 2002, 2003.

I've got a piece of sound I want to listen to.

There was one Rochester particular Rochester killing that rocked the public consciousness.

I had just gotten to Rochester as a reporter, 13-year-old Latisha Parson was shot when someone rolled by and was trying to shoot someone else.

And then Rochester Mayor Bill Johnson said it was time to be direct about the perpetrators, typically young men who were doing a lot of damage to Rochester's children, both with violence and with neglect.

And I want to listen to some of what Bill Johnson said after the murder of Letitia Parson.

>> We are not going to sit by and watch this community be destroyed by at the hands of a few people.

So today I am off.

Quote me on that.

I am off beyond words.

>> I want to thank our colleagues at Wroc-tv for providing that audio.

I remembered that because Mayor Johnson, it wasn't directly talking about Fatherlessness, but in the weeks that followed, he was trying to do a lot to spur, I think, interest in the resources necessary and the change necessary.

That would make sure there was never another Letitia Parson murder.

Do you remember that, Mike?

I don't know if you remember that story.

>> Barely.

>> Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it was a long time ago.

Yeah, it's one of the first memories I have of Mayor Johnson.

And how fired up he was.

I mean, what is it like hearing that now?

>> Yeah.

No, I can hear his anger and I can hear his frustration.

because there, you know, that kind of violence is happening at an accelerated rate right now.

I mean, we've got more 12, 13, 14 and 15 year olds involved in serious crimes, including gun violence, than we've ever had in our history.

And you know, I believe a lot a lot of that has to do with criminal justice reform and raise the age.

I mean, we've we've created a an environment of the consequences of no consequences.

And when kids see that there's no consequences for bad behavior, they're going to have more bad behavior.

I don't care what data you may have or not.

I know it's true.

It's a it's a principle.

And we're we're we're unhinged right now with bad behavior.

>> You did say that.

You you think fathers can provide the kind of discipline and structure.

I know a lot of moms who can do that.

Mike Hennessey I just want to say that.

>> Well, I say this there's moms and grandmas.

Do superhuman work raising kids and even young boys, but this is something Michael Peace taught me.

Moms doing a great job.

When that kid turns 12 or 13, he's going to go looking for a man to follow.

It's in his DNA.

And if mom doesn't provide a healthy role model for that young man from church or from work or from the neighborhood, that kid's going to go find a man to follow, and they're all over the place.

They're on every street corner.

And they find that that man and that he's happy to bring him into their family and create a family situation of belonging.

so, yeah, that's that's a that's to me is a fact.

>> Felix Ortiz.

>> Yes.

>> You grew up in Rochester.

>> Born and raised.

>> You grew up with an active father?

>> Yes.

I did.

>> What was that relationship like for you?

>> He was active to the point where he was in the household.

My dad worked and my mom was a stay at home mom.

so.

But our relationship wasn't that great.

and as a kid, you know, you, you know, from watching TV and, you know, looking at the Brady Bunch and how the dad is actively involved in the kids, you know, in their lives.

I didn't really talk to my dad a lot.

So I'm saying this to say what Mike is saying.

You know, I looked for that type of relationship outside, you know, was it be it, Mister Robinson, who was two doors down, I would work with him on his cars.

I was just looking.

I was yearning for somebody to to just be there for me, you know?

Just just talk to me and tell me I'm okay.

You know?

I do know the importance of a father in a kid's life.

just on the way here, you know, young man who's from Florida, doesn't have a father in his life.

I took him over to Fedex.

All the way.

All the way out in Henrietta, you know, either that or he doesn't have a job, but he's trying to do the right thing.

So, you know, these young men are really looking for someone, you know?

And Mike is right.

You know, they.

It's got to be someone who's going to be consistent in their lives.

It's got to be someone who's who's on purpose.

And it's got to be someone who's going to tell them what they need to hear us.

You know, and Mike says it better than anybody.

You know, if we don't discipline our kids, we are especially a father.

If he doesn't discipline his son, he hates his son.

And when he disciplines his son, he loves his son because that's that's the only the only way we know how to show our love.

You know?

and by the way, the person that led our chapter here was Billy Graham.

>> Just thank you.

>> He, you know.

>> Billy Graham.

>> Billy.

>> Billy Graham, first full time employee of youth for Christ, USA.

>> Yes.

But and it shows, you know, every day, you know, every time we walk in that gym, you know it's all about being consistent.

A lot of these young men don't have consistent people in their lives, especially men.

And the ones that they do have in their lives aren't telling them the right thing, you know?

And it's sad because a lot of these kids, they grow up, they're confused.

They're scared.

You know, so that inwardly anger is they show it in different ways, you know, and we provide them a safe sanctuary where they can come play basketball.

what.

>> Ages are the kids?

>> 11 and 19.

>> 11 to 19.

>> We've even actually reached out to now we're working with middle school kids.

So we're trying to reach them earlier because I think the earlier that we reach them, I think the better chance we have of them being successful in life and, you know, and there's nothing wrong with telling a kid that you love them, you know, because they don't hear that a lot.

>> No, I'm with you.

>> There.

>> You know?

They don't hear that a lot.

And they need to hear that.

>> Felix, what are the commonalities that you see?

Are there commonalities among the kids who don't have active fathers that you see either behaviors or how they approach you, how they respond to you?

>> yes.

most of them, they they have trust issues.

You know, they've been burned, you know, by many males in their lives, whether it be a dad or an uncle or granddad, because, I mean, you always hear about the kids, the boys and their grandmothers and their moms and, you know, a female in their family, but they they rarely ever talk about a male, you know, so when they at first, you know, when they come to our gym, they they're very skeptical, standoffish, you know, and you know, and, and it's, it's natural, you know, for them to be that way.

but, you know, when we have people like Louis, Joe, Mike, Gary, you know, who come in on a regular basis and show these kids, hey, you know what?

You're, you're you're you're you're okay.

You're you're worthy, you know, and it's okay not to be okay.

You know, talk to them, you know, show them love.

You know break bread with them, fellowship with them.

They then start trusting you and then, you know frown that initially, a kid that came in with a frown and initially that frown turns into a smile, you know, and that's all these kids want to do, is to be a part of something greater than themselves.

but more importantly, you just feel part of, you know, and a lot of these kids don't feel a part of something.

>> Do you see, in one year's time, enough change.

>> Oh, absolutely.

>> They can develop that trust.

>> Absolutely, I see it, I see it, I give it even three months, you know, I've seen that how a kid comes in, you know, and they're texting me, hey, coach, how are you today?

You know, because that's one thing that we teach them.

We teach them how to present themselves, how to, you know, you don't.

You don't say, yeah.

You say yes.

You know, we teach.

Don't be afraid to, you know, just tell them the right thing.

>> Because can you get him to make eye contact?

Do make an eye contact.

>> Oh, absolutely.

>> I'm Coach Felix, you know, and.

>> You better make eye contact.

>> I'm like, look at me when I'm talking to you.

I said, because, you know, it's important.

Because how would you feel if somebody was talking to you or, you know, you were talking to someone and you were and they were looking the other way that would make you feel real little, right?

Or that you're not important.

So we teach them all that, you know, and that's important.

>> when it comes to the, the language and what they were, the kind of situation they respond to, their language may be basketball when they first meet you and hopefully they start opening up with actually talking to you and maybe talking to their mentors and getting to know you better.

But how much is basketball for you and for them?

A language to communicate.

>> I think basketball is very important.

It's a vehicle.

It's a tool that we use to bring kids in to our program.

You know, of course we know they want to play basketball, so we give them what they want.

And when they're there, you know, we teach them and we give them what they need.

You know, Mike said earlier today, you know, train up a child in the way he should go.

And that's what we do.

Because the first thing that we start off with is the prayer circle.

We get everybody gets in the middle.

We talk, you know, I let my friends, I call them my brothers.

They're my brothers.

They're not even volunteers.

They're my family.

and we we talk about current events, you know, stuff that's going on.

What are you grateful for, then?

I'll either either one of us pray, or we'll have one of the kids get in the center of the of the of the circle and pray.

Because, you know, I know you want basketball, but this is bigger than basketball.

You know, we talk about that every day.

Bigger than basketball.

We're talking about our Lord, you know, and and doing the right thing and making good decisions and being a team player.

All of that.

>> Mike Hennessey is the executive director of this program of youth for Christ Rochester.

Again, I go back to that question of a structural fix and what you and what coach is doing and what Louis, who we're going to talk to in a moment are doing is affecting dozens, hundreds of kids a year.

But to your point, there are thousands, tens of thousands in Rochester, Monroe County, western New York who have these kind of needs.

Yeah.

So do you feel like what society needs is a structural fix, or can these kind of one off programs make a dent?

>> Well, we believe if you can affect one kid, then it's worth all the effort.

And and we're affecting a lot of one one kids at a time.

Yeah.

And you know, one of the things that we we graduated into from the fatherhood Initiative and the and the Fatherhood Roundtable, where we brought in mentors from different programs to come and talk about how they mentor because everything's different.

Everybody has a different approach.

And we wanted to learn all the different ways.

What we started to think about was, yeah, I would toss and turn at night.

How are we going to have we had these conferences, six guys come forward.

How how are we going to have God?

How are we going to have an impact on tens of thousands of kids, six dads at a time.

And we found a program called The Man Cave.

And it was a men's ministry program that.

Darryl.

Darryl Robinson runs up at Hope Christian Fellowship up in Charlotte.

And I heard him on another radio show, and he was I said, I gotta I gotta meet this guy because he gets fatherhood and he has a ministry up there that brings 50 men.

It's a small church.

I mean, it's maybe 300 in the church, but he brings 50 men to his men's ministry.

Every one.

First Friday of the month.

That's a big men's ministry.

That's that's not doesn't happen in small churches that much.

But he found the code.

He found the code.

And and I'm not going to get into what the code is.

But we started thinking, if we can connect with a guy like Darryl and bring the man cave to youth for Christ and bring in pastors and show them how to develop a men's ministry that will bring in 50 men back into your church, back into your household.

And then we would have a greater pool of resources for men to become mentors in our gym.

To me, it all everything revolves around faith.

you know, my show is about bringing faith into the marketplace.

I believe that when God spoke the world into existence, it wasn't just the the manifestation of the birds and the bees and the boys and the girls.

It was its operating system in every, every element in our world has mind, body and spirit or faith.

And the world tries to solve problems with two of the three components.

You need to fix anything.

Because if you're not bringing faith into that thing, you're only dancing around the symptoms.

So what's the chronic cultural problem?

How do we inject faith into it?

And then we can start talking about a solution.

So the man cave is about getting pastors to come and learn how to do great men's ministry.

So we have more men involved in church and than involved in their kids lives.

>> Ellie writes in to say her question is about let's see here.

Nope, that's the wrong one here.

This is from.

Well, let's get some questions on the other side here.

I got I got one from Jay.

We'll try to get to.

We've got some questions that I can get to on the other side of this break, because I'm looking up and realizing it's late for a break.

Then we'll come back.

We'll take some questions, and we're going to hear Lewis's story.

Lewis is a mentor in the program you just heard Felix Ortiz, the coach.

Mike Hennessey, executive director of youth for Christ Rochester.

And 1240 already.

We'll get your feedback on the other side of our only break of the hour on Connections.

>> Coming up in our second hour, you can't get away from this idea in American politics.

If we want more affordable energy, we can't go too fast on clean energy.

Clean energy is more expensive.

Governor Hochul essentially made that case last week when she reversed course on three major clean energy initiatives or energy initiatives in New York State.

But the governor says she's being pragmatic.

And we're going to talk to people who work in the policy side next hour.

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>> This is Connections.

I'm Evan Dawson.

Alex wants to know what essentially what politicians or what government leaders have had to say.

If you work with anybody in government and generally how they how receptive they've been to this kind of effort.

>> Well, we we we're 100% privately funded, and I can and I, and I continue to make it that way.

There's there's millions of dollars out there that, you know, we've been offered grants from the city in the and the government, but you know, and then I toss and turn for a few nights about it, and then I come back and I, and I say, no, thank you, but no, we're going to keep I mean, it says, Christ on the building to me, it always feels like even if it isn't written in the contract or that, we want to keep the first things first.

And for us, it's our faith first.

And we don't want to do anything that will compromise that.

So we just stay privately funded.

So no, I don't, I it's not about politics.

It's about it's about being what the kids providing safe sanctuary and a Christ culture.

And for our kids.

>> Randy says Evan, we need to get past the blaming stage.

Black or white?

It doesn't matter.

I'm an old white dude.

And when I was young, both my parents worked.

I often came home after school to an empty house, but I knew both my parents would be home by 6 p.m.

I agree the breakdown of the two parent family is a problem in American society.

If I screwed up, my old man would make sure to keep me on the straight and narrow.

If not for him, I probably would have dropped out of high school and probably wouldn't be here today.

That is from Randy.

Diane says why is this about secular or what is?

What about secular people or people of different faiths?

Is it evangelicals only?

Don't secular teenagers deserve the same attention?

It's from Diane.

Mike.

>> Absolutely.

we don't require Christianity from anybody that comes into our program.

We have several Muslim kids that come into the program and stay with the program forever.

Now it says, Christ on the building.

We're going to we're going to we're going to pray and we're going to talk about our faith openly.

We're not going to compromise.

and if that's okay with you, then you're join the game and be a part of the game, if that.

there's no there's no transforming that needs to happen to be a part of our program, but we're going to be who we are.

And you know, and I would say to, you know the first question was, you know, what?

I think that.

The problem of the incentivizing fatherlessness from 65 to me could be reversed simply by taking away the requirement for the father to not be in the home to receive benefits.

Why can't we do that?

Why can't we take away the requirement that a out of wedlock birth would be funded by our government if unless the fathers in the home just take away that requirement.

Let the father be in the home.

>> I have an email related to this that I'll read here, Mike, and I'll say, this is not my expertise at all.

The policy history here.

So I'm not speaking with any expertise.

I can understand the intention of saying, hey, for single moms, that is hard.

Let's support that.

Here's the structure of how we're going to outline a policy support for mostly single moms or single parents that I get.

If what you're saying is the effect, was it actually incentivized or it led to a, a kind of a boom, then you got to turn around and say, okay, can we draw a straight line?

Was there an unintended consequence here?

This is Charlie, who I'm going to posit here.

Charlie who I'm reading the email from a retired teacher has very different politics than you.

Just just to say that I think we're trying to diagnose problems.

But you and Charlie, I think, are diagnosing it the same way he says, Evan, the fatherless homes in black Families was predicted by Daniel Patrick Moynihan in 1965, when he was assistant secretary of labor.

In his Moynihan Report, when he argued that the Civil Rights Act of 64 did not address the lack of jobs for black men, and the stipulation that black men could not be in the home if the mother was receiving assistance.

Our society is now suffering from the stipulation of that law.

Teaching 31 years in Rochester, nearly every male teacher I worked with knew the dual roles we had to provide for our kids.

Teacher and father figure.

It was heartbreaking at times.

I will say this I met the strongest women I ever knew, the kids, moms and grandmoms of those fatherless kids.

That's from Charlie.

Again, for those who are kind of looking for the politics of this diagnosis, I don't think Charlie.

I don't think Charlie would object to me saying, I think Mike and Charlie view politics quite differently, but they're diagnosing this problem the same way.

>> I agree, I agree, listen, we've had since since Johnson, we've had Reagan and Bush and Bush two and you.

>> Mean.

>> Nobody, nobody reversed it.

Why don't why why isn't it reversed?

Why isn't that?

I mean, there's no think tank that came up with that solution.

Let's take away the the father in the home.

Why haven't we done.

>> Well, again, I don't think that the goal was to take away the father in the home.

I think the goal was to say, let's recognize we're the parenting strain is the hardest.

>> Then why have the stipulation?

Why have the stipulation that unless the out-of-wedlock birth will be funded, unless the father's.

>> Obviously because they would say we need the stipulation because we shouldn't be using any tax dollars in homes that wouldn't ostensibly need it.

I understand what you're saying is that it ends up leading down a road.

>> Where.

>> A poor family with a father in the home needs the support just as much as a poor family without the father.

>> Again, I'm trying to get I'm trying to inhabit the minds of 1960s policymakers.

>> Mike and I would just ask, why did why was the why was the two household, family and marriage rate in the African American urban community higher in 1960 than the rest of the country at large?

>> Okay, again, outside my expertise.

So I'm going to let's bring Louis Kerwin in here, who's sitting next to Mike here.

Louis was one of the mentors.

How many mentors do you have there, by.

>> The way?

>> Well, we have half a dozen men in that gym every week.

And that's that's that's the right number for us.

>> Okay.

And, Louis, how'd they find you and how did you find them?

>> So I used to volunteer at Open Door Mission when Mike ran it, and I got pretty sick, and I had to take a few years off of volunteering, and I retired, and I called up mike, and I said, hey, let's have lunch, because I wanted to get back into Open Door Mission, and we go to lunch and I think I'm going to lunch to talk about the Open Door mission.

And he starts telling me about the youth for Christ program.

And I'm like, wow.

So I started going to the Fatherhood Initiative meetings, and I learned about the basketball program.

And I loved basketball, so that was an easy one for me.

And I remember the first week I came, I come and, you know, there's 15 kids playing in the gym and I come up and I'm trying to say hello to them.

And I went home that night and I looked at my wife and I said, you know, I'm going to try it a few more times.

But these kids, I was invisible.

They didn't even see me.

You know.

And you've heard Mike and Felix talk about consistency.

And, you know, in hindsight from three years ago, I understand now they had so many men in their lives come and go and not be consistent.

The fourth week I got a little bit more, the fifth week a little bit more.

I'm there week after week.

I did silly little things like bring chocolate chip cookies and and you go up to a kid and you say to him, wow, you played good defense today.

Wow.

I haven't seen anyone shoot three points like that in a long time.

You have no idea the impact on a kid.

This isn't rocket science.

>> But I think what you're saying is they needed to see you there multiple times.

They needed to see you consistently.

>> Yes.

And they needed to feel the love.

They did.

They needed they needed to know that it was real.

They needed both.

They needed consistency and love.

>> How long you been doing it?

>> About three years.

And kids call me at home.

Kids call me for rides.

it's I was looking for something because I wanted to give back, and I know that that through our program, we've touched a lot of lives.

But, I mean, me, I'm trying to get people to want to volunteer because it's touched my life.

I mean, it's it's I retired, you know, you're looking, you know, you spent your whole life, you you feel yourself, a sense of self-worth from from your occupation.

And then one day that's gone.

And these kids, I go home.

I can't tell you what it's meant to me.

It's.

It's been huge.

And you, I've heard you ask earlier, you know, what have we meant to these kids?

These kids that that we're going to have a hard time in life.

They came from murders in their family.

They came from some pretty bleak situations.

And we've watched them go to Alfred, to Buffalo State.

we've watched them take some pretty nice jobs.

We watched I mean, we've watched kids grow through this program.

It's it's amazing.

>> Are there moments where their life doesn't go in that good direction that you want, and you still feel like you can intervene?

I mean, is every story the kind of happy ending that you're describing?

>> No.

>> No, this is this is real life.

>> Yeah.

>> No, we we but I'd say that we have more wins than losses.

We touch more kids than than fall through the net.

Once we get him in.

We we've had we have a pretty good success rate.

>> Is anything surprised you about this, Lewis?

I mean, you said you went in there, felt invisible the first day.

since then, what has surprised you the most?

>> How much you can touch one human being's life.

And, you know, you asked before.

There's thousands of kids, there's tens of thousands of kids in the city of Rochester.

Yeah.

You asked, you know, so we maybe we reached 20 in our program, maybe 50, maybe 100.

Yeah.

But one of the kids we touched is a missionary now.

And how many kids is he going to touch?

And and some of the kids that we touched are running.

Felix.

Oh my gosh, you.

There's not a corner of Rochester you can't go into and find someone that that he's touched.

And now we're watching second and third generations of people that Felix touched that are touching the community.

So maybe that's the surprise.

Is, is is how how this just keeps going from generation to generation.

>> mm-hmm.

Well, speaking of that, Felix, in different communities, you know, there's maybe a different sort of center of interest.

And in, in the city of Rochester for you, it's basketball in rural communities.

It might be I'm going to say baseball because I'm a baseball coach.

But you know maybe different things here.

And I think my own views on some of that having coached kids who need structure and need love and need figures who they know love them, having been through that, I also feel the pull of, well, you know, sports can also be is it too much to put on a kid?

Do kids have unrealistic goals with it?

I think in today's world, the more you can get them away from the stuff that's really toxic, and that's for kids who can get on a phone and find social media and find all the toxic stuff they're that's a win.

You get away from some of the kind of the non-human way we interact online with each other, and then you put them in physical spaces together with supervised leadership.

I think I've really come around that, you know, there's probably coaches who shouldn't be coaching somewhere, and there's probably parents who lose the plot or kids who lose the plot.

For the most part, though, I definitely see the value today.

and over the over time, even for the kids who aren't going pro in basketball, I'm sure you're giving them a gift here.

How do you talk to the kids who say to you, well, I've got to be in the NBA.

I'm sure you've heard that right?

>> Yes.

And what do you say?

>> What do you.

>> Say?

>> I just let them know.

I said, don't stop dreaming.

You know, work.

I mean, keep moving.

>> Because they don't.

>> Know that what you're teaching them is not how to be an NBA player, which, you know, who knows, maybe one of them.

Someday you're teaching them how to live in life.

>> Well, you know, it's I had a conversation with a pastor once over at the YMCA, and he asked me that question.

He says, how many kids, you know, why are you doing this?

How many kids you know are going to actually make it to the NBA?

I said, I don't know.

I said, but I do know one thing.

They're all these kids that are in the gym are not on the street, and they're not they're not, they're not using drugs.

They're in school, you know, I said, and that's that's the key.

And I tell them, I said, if you don't make it to the NBA, you know what?

There's bigger there's bigger fish to fry.

Don't worry about that.

Just be an inspiration for someone else.

Don't give up.

That's the one thing I always tell them.

but kids really just need a place to have fun and be themselves.

And they're looking for a safe place.

That's all they're looking for.

You know, I think the NBA, if they get to the NBA, it'll be you know, an added.

But more importantly, they're there for the moment.

And if we can just keep them off the street for two hours, we might be saving their lives.

>> Yeah, indeed.

Mike Hennessey, before we go here to the point that Louis is making about seeing different generations over time and seeing over the years, kids grow up and become adults.

Probably some of the the boys and the young men that that you all have mentored become parents themselves.

how how is the impact there when you see them become fathers?

Have you seen it?

>> Yeah.

I mean, coaches sees them come back with their kids and join the program and they just tell me, you know, coach saved my life by by making sure I was at the YMCA at 6 a.m.

on Saturday mornings to be here and to and to learn some structure and to learn some things other than basketball.

You know, any kid that every kid comes wants to be in the NBA.

We just I like to ask him, what's your backup?

What happens when the ACLU tears?

Now what?

And but we see it every day at the kids that get into this program become, well rounded, healthy role models themselves.

>> Well, I've really appreciated this conversation.

By the way, Louis, do you think Kevin McHale would make it in today's NBA?

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Do you really.

>> Think so?

Do you think those.

>> Moves were good enough today?

>> Oh my gosh, how do you.

>> He never got called for traveling once in his life, you know.

>> Are you watching modern basketball?

>> I'm talking yeah you're that's actually true.

But they've changed the gather rule.

Now you can take five steps.

It's really crazy.

I'm with you there.

>> I mean, the guy is 611 with arms that were as long.

>> As.

>> And and he had one of the all time great fadeaway shots.

>> This is not where.

>> I play against anybody.

>> I'm with you there.

No I see I'm a Cleveland fan here in Cleveland most Boston nights.

Don't remember that.

His last game was against the Cavs in the 92 playoffs.

You might remember that one.

But thank you for doing the work that you're doing.

Would you encourage others to to mentor or to volunteer?

Louis I mean, just in terms of the time commitment, do you think more people can do it than than realize.

>>, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

And you can give so little in impact.

Other kids so much you.

It's still hard for me to believe that that that I touch kids lives.

Yes, anybody can do it.

>> a big theme as we go.

as we close the hour here, Mike Hennessy that we'll talk about on a different day with you is what it means to to grow up and feel I'm going to be accountable.

I'm going to be responsible.

I know those are big themes for you.

Let's talk about some of those themes in a different context on a different day.

If you want to come.

>> Back, I look forward to it.

>> Thank you for being so.

if you want to learn more about what Mike's doing here, is there somewhere they can go to learn more about your program?

>> Mike YFC rochester.org.

>> YFC Rochester Mike Hennessy Executive Director thank you for being here.

Thanks, Louis Kerwin.

Even though you're wrong about McHale, actually you're probably right.

He probably would.

It's been good to get to know you.

Thank you for being here.

And our thanks to the coach, Felix Ortiz.

Thanks for telling your story.

>> Appreciate it.

Thank you for having me.

>> There's a lot of people in this town who would recognize the coach walking down the street, and he knows a lot of people, too.

More Connections coming up in just a minute.

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