And now the.

490 with Gretchen de Bakker might.

Kill them.

And Kevin Mullin from.

Welcome to the 419, powered by GT and presented by Retro Wealth Management.

I'm Kevin mullen, Gretchen de Becker.

No.

Matt.

Kill him today.

I know it should be a good show.

Yeah, Matt said.

It's going to be the best show we've ever had.

Yes.

You know, I don't know.

I like the dynamic of all three of us.

And so he is he is missed already this quickly into the program.

That does not bode well for me.

No.

It'll be.

No, I just I miss you, too.

Thank you.

That's true.

It's wellness when it is presented by our friends at work.

Spring.

We've got a jam packed show going to talk about a lot of different topics.

Well, then it will be touch on, mental health and wellness.

And so we've got Michelle Blue who's going to be joining us.

We've got, Jillian Cowell.

From Waterville Primary.

Is going to be joining us as well.

And then we've got, two people that I really enjoy them.

And I'm excited about the conversation.

Father Jeff Rose, father Joe Newman from Saint Francis.

The outgoing and incoming presidents.

Good of that school talking about leadership transitions, succession planning.

Something that I think the nonprofit space doesn't do very well.

Right.

And so I'm excited to hear, kind of the origin of some of that and what this empowers Saint Francis to be able to do.

They're doing some incredible things.

Just broke ground on a new facility.

And so I don't know that we'll.

Hear, all of all of that.

Yeah.

They've got a big new, athletic facility.

In the back there.

Going in the back.

Correct.

So that'll be great.

Excited to hear more about that.

It is Wellness Wednesdays.

I do want to talk a bit.

I, we're not supposed to, as part of public media, endorse products or services or businesses.

But we're.

Going to anyway.

I'm going to anyway, because it's it's on its way out, and I am, heartbroken for our community.

My beloved pharmacy.

Oh, yeah.

Westgate family pharmacy.

Announced that they are closing, as inevitably happens, right when you've got a small business that Cricket West, a small business owner.

That wants who deserves to retire.

Right.

And.

You've talked about her before.

And meaningful.

She is to you and your family.

How attentive she was.

I don't even I've never been there, so I don't know.

What to do.

The pharmacist there is just an incredible human being.

And truly, I've.

You know, I've had my own share of health challenges we've talked about on this show.

And there are very few health care professionals that I believe actually care about me and my family.

The second time I walked in the door, she greeted me by name.

I walked in with my wife, who she never met, and she greeted my wife by name.

She knows the kids.

She's talking.

You online.

Do you think?

Maybe.

I mean, sure.

Great.

But I think that's how most of my service, I love it.

I loved.

Every minute of it.

And so I just.

I think it's a for me.

When I saw the announcement, they were closing.

It was a reminder how important it is to choose local.

And and we've, you know, this show is about highlighting great people, doing great things, making our community better.

And I just shout out to Nashua, the team Westgate Family Pharmacy have certainly done that.

They've made our community and our neighborhood better.

And it's a reminder to me that as I think about, you know.

All of the places that I could have championed them more.

Right.

And again, this is I think this is a decision for her based on time, not based on, anything else?

Right.

Man, I would love to see that.

Stay in in cricket West.

And we'll see what what comes into that space.

And what the community needs.

Next.

So.

All right.

Let's, let's let's take a break.

Okay.

When we come back, we will kick off wellness Wednesday.

And we will welcome.

And we will welcome in.

Easy for me to say.

Yes.

Michelle blue, we'll take a break.

We'll be right back on the 419, powered by GT.

Support for the 419 comes from We True Wealth Management, where we understand that your financial path is personal.

Advisory services are offered through capital Investment Advisory Services LLC, securities offered through Capital Investment Group member Finra and SIPC.

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The 419 powered by GT is made possible in part by supporters like you.

Thank you.

Welcome back to the 419 powered by GT.

It's Wellness Wednesday, presented by our friends at Work spring.

We're joined now by Michelle Blue.

And I am going to I wrote it down and I can't read my own handwriting.

Licensed independent.

Clinical.

Clinical therapist.

So I was like, there's words in there.

That is.

I'm not smart enough to know how to say your title.

Let me know what that even mean.

And in fact, he needs your services.

Oh.

Yeah.

I mean, we always tell us that we all we all.

Need a therapist.

You with Harbor?

Talk to me about what is your role?

What does what does all of that alphabet soup mean?

Yeah.

So I am a licensed independent clinical therapist, as Kevin mentioned, and I'm specializing in mental health.

So what we do, we're from lighthouse EAP, a subsidiary of Harbor.

So not exactly Harbor General Pop, but more so we are contracted with over 125 companies here in the city to provide services to their employees.

And, you know, the employer overall.

So.

And what do the employers and their family members.

Absolutely.

So any service, any spouse or significant significant other in the home and any children in the home under the age of 26.

What are you finding is a common need or I hate to say trend, but you know, what are you finding?

This is the most common call you get or most common complaint that somebody has.

So I would say because we're partnering with a lot of companies for their workplace, a lot of stress in the workplace.

Right.

We work with first responders.

We work with, health care agencies.

We work with universities.

Just factories, I mean, you name it.

So the bigger thing I would say is just stress in the workplace.

And that translates into children and families and then their school life.

Absolutely.

So what is something that, what is a behavior that's exhibited or a sign that a parent might have about, a need, to talk to somebody, in a child?

Yeah.

So a lot of people think, like, mental health has to be severe, but it doesn't have to be sometimes.

Like, for example, anxiety can present as, like, overthinking, being overwhelmed.

It could be like ruminating.

It could be being obsessive compulsive about something.

Even with depression, it doesn't have to mean that you're having a depressive episode.

But it could be, hey, I have a lack of motivation.

I don't feel like getting out of the bed.

You might see kiddos, their grades start to drop, or some uncanny behaviors that kind of come from them that, you know, hey, like, you know, this is something's changing here, right?

If you.

Don't see.

Something like that, is it a thing?

To have your child talk to someone preventive and as a preventive measure?

Yes.

So I think you hit the nail right on the head there.

So with lighthouse EAP being a subsidiary of Harbor, what we specialize in is preventative care.

So much like if you would go to your primary care provider to make sure you're doing your routine visits to hopefully help you catch something before it materializes into something else.

That's what we do with our counseling services.

So the biggest thing that I like about our organization is you don't have to have a diagnosable issue.

You can literally come in and talk to us about stress, right?

Which is not necessarily diagnosed in the DSM five.

So you don't have to have a diagnosable issue.

We offer phone appointments, video appointments, in-person appointments to meet people where they are.

And again, that benefit is free.

Given through, parents and their employers down to the children.

Will give me some like, advice or tips for people that are trying to manage stress, that are trying to manage the chaos.

I in working with youth, I would always say that, you know, I described kids as a popsicle stick, right?

There's more pressure to fail, more pressure to succeed on either end.

And when you put that much pressure on, something inevitably will snap.

Yeah.

What's the what's the advice you have for for parents and for kids to manage that stress?

Yeah, I would say first and foremost, when you think about who you are as a person, go back to the root, right.

So consider what your values are.

And then make sure that your behavior, your words, who you are as a person matches that value system a lot of times.

The biggest way we can understand that we're not necessarily doing what we need to do or that we're stressed, is when we understand that, wait a minute.

What I'm saying and doing is different than what my belief system is.

So I would say, have the parents check in with the kiddos and like, talk about what our value systems are, what our standards and and what our standards are and how do we hold ourselves accountable moving forward.

What are some what's some data that you have as it relates to, kids and families and, sort of the current state that we're in?

Oh.

You would be surprised, but I did bring a few stats today, if that's okay to share.

So approximately one inch seven youth ages ten through 19 globally experiences a mental health issue for depression.

Nearly 1 in 5 U.S.

teens had at least one major depressive episode in the past year, which is significant right anxiety.

Over 20% of adolescents had a diagnosed anxiety or depression condition in 2023.

Of course, we would be remiss to not mention suicide and risk with that.

So suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged ten through 14, and 20%, excuse me, of high schoolers seriously considered suicide, with 9% attempting it in 2023.

Girls and Lgbtq+ youth report significantly higher rates of sadness or hopelessness, and we're also seeing a trend in increase with comorbidity of mental health and substance use, specifically marijuana.

Where, I mean, I know it's just getting worse, right?

And so I guess my my question is, is it getting worse because it's getting worse, or is it getting worse because we're getting better at diagnosing and talking about it?

I mean, what do you think that we're why is that trend happening?

Yeah, Kevin, I think that's a good question.

I think duly right.

Like it's getting worse because more people are talking about it.

It's not as taboo.

Right.

So that means more people are being diagnosed.

Also it's getting worse because just with our, our, our socioeconomic climate.

Right.

Like there's a lot of stressors that are happening on the outside of people's for, for wild homes and also on the inside, a lot of pressures like you mentioned earlier.

Why is it important to seek help, right?

I mean, it's, you know, the the classic line I think about, you know, with, with my boys, it's like, toughen up, right?

Like, you know, you got this fight through it.

We're not.

Yeah.

Why is it important for if somet or maybe what it's a two part question.

Why is important to get help and what are the lines that sort of determine like, now it's time to get help, right?

Like it's it's made it past this point.

Yeah.

I would say it's important to get help because you want to be well, right.

And we know that not only does mental health impact us personally, it impacts everyone that we come in contact with.

And I think that definite point of like saying, hey, I've got to do something at this point is when you start to see a notable noticeable like increase or decrease in your behaviors, right?

So if you're more impulsive, if you are more argumentative or cynical, if you have an increase in lack of motivation, if your sleep or your appetite is disrupted, if you're, you know, social life has changed, any of those key indicators would say, hey, it's time to check in with someone.

One of the taglines you that harbor uses, and you have on some of the materials in front of you, is support, not stigma?

Yes, because so many times a mental health diagnosis is, Considered.

By many to be not a disease, like, not something that's it's a medical condition.

If you had diabetes, you would.

Take.

Insulin.

If you had cancer, you would get chemotherapy.

But the stigma around a mental health diagnosis and the the ability to take or not take medication to engage in services or not is a problem.

Yes, it.

Is in schools.

It's a problem in the in the community.

It's a problem in families.

So what what is the message, either harbor's message or your message to people about the stigma and that this is not something that, if you have this diagnosis, it's not something that can be ignored.

That's right.

Well, I would say for people you're not alone.

Right.

And I think that you've got to be brave and courageous to really check in with yourself and to know that even though society may stigmatize mental health, there are a lot of us out here that are willing to work with you and meet you right where you are.

And as far as Harbor, we do our best in the community to make sure that we are meeting people where they're at and being able to honor them for who they are and for where they want to go in their lives.

We're talking with Michel Blue with Harbor here on a Wellness Wednesday presented by Work Spring.

I'm thinking about you, right?

And thinking about, you know, and I know that your job is that a lot of you talk about yourself, but I think about, do you spend all day talking to people that are dealing with challenges?

Right.

And some of them are big and some of them are small, but all of them are heavy.

Yeah.

And then you're carrying all of these.

What what are what are your, kind of self self-care steps to make sure that you're not taking this home?

Absolutely.

So as a clinical therapist, I have really good boundaries.

I've learned to develop that over time to make sure that.

What's that?

Oh, oh, oh, let's talk about it later.

Are we still rolling?

Yeah, we.

Know, but boundaries are making sure that you're keeping yourself safe mentally, physically, emotionally making sure that you are fully present in that session with that client, but making sure that, like for me, I make sure I take a few moments between sessions to kind of unpack some stuff, unwind.

We have an excellent team there at lighthouse EAP, so we're able to consult and debrief if we need to.

When I go home, I'm making sure that, contrary to popular belief, I don't want to talk when I get home.

Yeah.

Or, tuning out of the TV, like I'm shutting everything down.

And I'm very intentional with quiet time when I come home.

I also like to be by the water.

I think that's very relaxing.

So we're missing that because I would to talk to him about the Metroparks.

But, lots of other things that I do that are like, what's the term?

It's like it's sensitivity, but it's like low involvement, right?

So like it it we're always thinking critically every day, all day.

But when you come home you want to have like low involvement activities to make sure that you care for yourself.

Well do you watch TV?

Yeah.

I mean, that's our thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a day.

It's like, I want to watch a show that we don't have.

Yeah.

That's right.

Do you miss the show Couples therapy.

You know, I've seen clips of it on social media, but I've not tuned in.

It's a it's a good show.

At least I think it's a good show.

I don't know how realistic it is, but one of the things that's interesting to me about what they portray on the show is exactly what you just talked about, what she does in between the sessions.

Yes, she sits and sort of you can see it, you know, center herself.

Yeah.

She looks at her notes.

She has a dog in there that her dog that she, you know, that she pets and she sort of, it's just it's just sort of an interesting representation of what you were just talking about.

Yeah.

How bad is social media for young people?

It is terrible.

I don't mean to, like, give.

You the answer in the question, but.

It's like, if you could wave a magic wand and make a policy in this country, about social media for the benefit of your clients, what would it be?

I would say to only friend people that you know, or people that you might look up to.

So be mindful of who your circle is and the things that they're doing.

I would also put a time limit on how long you're on social media, because then we can get into the whole thing of doomscrolling and then exposing yourself to adverse events, which can also increase mental health issues.

I would also say to be mindful of the comparison right of yourself to other people, because social media is very easily to do that.

So I would say kind of rule back a little bit on that.

Are you seeing anything in the people that you are treating and talking to about?

The thing that concerns me a lot about it is just the exposure.

I mean, I'm 56 years old.

We didn't the stuff that's on social media, now that I know my nieces look at, yeah, is something that I wouldn't have seen for like ten years till I was ten years older than they currently are.

Yeah.

And the exposure to that and being able to look up stuff to me is alarming.

It is it's kind of like how some people will say, oh, I don't want to be Doctor Google.

There's like when you go to your primary care, you're like, hey, oh, I did a sneeze or I need a cough now, like I have the worst case scenario, right?

We're automatically jumping there based off of all the research.

That WebMD will always take you to cancer.

Oh, that's.

Right, I'm telling you.

Yeah, you're going there.

Like I have a splinter.

I have.

A splinter.

It's that cancer.

I have a common cold.

You never know.

So with, social media, mental health, it's the same way.

Right?

So a lot of people get on social media.

I know TikTok is really big at that.

Like, a lot of people are self diagnosing themselves.

We've got to be very careful and make sure you see a professional to really check in with you and what's going on.

You guys have got an event coming up.

Yes, later this summer, July 18th.

Talk to me about what is what is happening, what is the Harbor walk for Hope?

Yes.

So Harbor Walk for Hope is very similar to the Nami event that just passed, but basically it's a community event that helps to bring awareness to mental health.

It also offers a lot of community resources.

Free right?

No cost.

So I would just say everyone come on out, support the organization.

But more so mental health, which is the overarching term.

It's on July 18th.

It's from 10 to 1, rain or shine, and it's going to be there at the ribbon at Glass City Metroparks, 1521 Front Street, Toledo, Ohio.

Lots of activities, music and fun.

If you could give people, again, we'll go back to your magic wand.

Right.

Give people, some advice, but change to their daily routine, something that will improve their mental health.

Yeah.

What is the thing that you would recommend for, for your clients and for our, viewers and listeners?

I would say that everything starts in the morning time.

So really pay attention to whatever your morning routine is.

And typically the mental health concerns kind of come as a result of that.

If you're jumping on the phone first thing and if it's not like news related or research related, you have to be wary of that because that sets the tone for your overall day.

So maybe do some grounding activities, some deep breathing, some stretching, getting the blood flowing.

Tune in to things that really center you that are important to you.

I would say started off in the morning.

One of the.

Things I've noticed recently with my friend group and just in general, is people trying to find real things.

Yes.

So people, some people refer to it as touching grass, but like, yeah.

Hugging a tree.

Away from this, the social media stuff to things that stand like talking to someone this way face to face, is that part of counseling or.

Therapy?

That's.

Yeah.

We have a lot of individuals who suffer from anxiety.

And I think the pandemic really did a number on a lot of people, and a lot of people are experiencing the concern with coming outside of the home.

So even in the office, like that's exposure therapy for some to be face to face with a clinician, to kind of talk through their anxious thoughts.

Right.

So I believe social interaction is key.

We have to expose ourselves to different cultures, different people, different personalities to be able to really challenge our inner self and to grow.

And show blue with harbor.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

How many times a day do you say and how does that make you feel?

All day, every day.

All right.

And have you.

Made us feel very smart?

So thank you.

Thank you Michelle, thank you so much for joining us.

We're gonna take a break.

When we come back, Jillian Cowell, from Waterville Primary will join us.

We'll talk a little bit more about mental health and kids.

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Welcome back to the 419 It's Wellness Wednesday, presented by Work Spring.

We're joined now by Jillian Kowal, a, school counselor with Waterville Primary.

Thank you so much for being here.

You are on the front lines of this every single day.

We were talking about, you know, mental health in kids.

I guess what does what does a typical day look like for you as a school counselor?

And then let's talk about one.

Yeah.

Let's talk about what's going on with kids.

Sure.

So, yeah, a typical day is pretty variable, but, school counseling programing is presented typically in three.

And then I kind of I consider a fourth one.

Domains or or avenues.

So classroom counseling lessons are scheduled throughout the years.

So I do visit classrooms, frequently and then small group counseling, which is provided to and as if that is separate from like clinical level counseling.

Small group counseling, really, we like target specific areas, usually related to some kind of executive functioning skill or social emotional learning skills.

So, coping skills would be a good one for anxiety.

We call it at my school, we call it Warrior Warriors group.

And it's just those are learning groups where students practice different skills in more of a smaller, but still somewhat, controlled setting.

Yeah.

Or monitored setting and then also individual counseling, which is again separate from clinical level counseling.

So not quite as intense.

More li regularly scheduled or as needed check ins.

I would, I would say more accurately described that not quite what a teacher would do, but not also what a clinical therapist would do.

So you're sort of the in between between those two.

Does that make sense?

Yes.

So more intensive intervention than what the classroom teacher can provide.

Particularly associated with like mental health concerns.

And then not at the level of clinical counseling support.

You mentioned social emotional.

That is a term that I don't believe was used when I was in school.

Yeah.

It has, you.

Know, and it shows, Well, you know, I would not be described as having, social, emotional learning.

If.

You're not just you.

Yeah.

What what is that?

And kind of.

Why is that important as a, as a key component of education today?

Sure.

So there's actually, social emotional learning standards in the state of Ohio that, we are required to teach and support students with.

And those are broken up by grade B on so K to two.

And then I think it's 3 to 5.

So in my building we have kindergarten through fourth grade students.

So I guess I'll, I'll be kind of focused on them.

And I think the biggest, the biggest importance that I see with developing those skills so often they are viewed as skills that are like family related to family values, like how to be like a good friend or how to be like supportive or how to how to prioritize or make decisions.

Things like that make really good decisions.

So historically, that was family, that was taught by the family, and it still is today.

But we also know that not every child is getting that support at home.

So, having that foundation in schools where every child has access to at least basic level knowledge, like being able to communicate using feelings, vocabulary is really important and not showing empathy like those kinds of things.

So.

So give an example of how that manifests itself.

If you if you, if you're in a within a classroom and you're going into a classroom, what would be like a lesson that you would do to support social emotional development?

So that's a we use, a specific program called Sources of Strength, which is also on the state of Ohio.

Oh do website.

But that is it kind of breaks down like your life into eight different components.

So and how I kind of introduce it to the kids even as early as like kindergarten and first grade, they kind of understand that, you know, what we know about life is that we have these eight different areas, but we know that things are not going to always be going well in these eight different areas.

So sometimes what seems easier is giving up or like quitting.

And then we talk about the problem with making choices like that, or the problem with not knowing how to push through challenges is that really is limiting to, not only like the child's ability to be successful academically, but also socially.

So working out problems with friends is a difficult skill.

It's not an enjoyable thing to do, but we know that no one person is going to be in agreement with us 100% of the time.

So that is a skill that's important so that we don't end up quitting, giving up, losing friends and then not knowing how to work through these issues which are going to present themselves all the time.

It seems like such a complicated, complex problem, right, to try and address.

Because if you're talking to a little six year old, a first grader and they learned about, let's just say, empathy or trying to work something out with friends, and then they go home and they don't see that or they don't experience it, that must be then confusing to them.

So do you.

Also work with parents on this type of sort of education or training, or is it just do you or you simply trying to reinforce it in the school environment with the kids?

So a lot of our elementary school counseling in particular, a lot of that is working with families too.

And and those are kind of the way that I work with families is kind of on a, I guess a tiered basis.

So kind of like my programing is presented whole school classroom, small group and individual.

That's kind of how my family communication works as well.

What I find mostly with the families that I communicate with individually, that is really helpful, is just sharing my own experience with, similar issues.

So, I have like always had pretty intense anxiety, from the time I was little.

So when, you know, that shows up in an elementary student in my building that looks a lot like perfectionism, and it looks just like we want to do everything right and like hyper focusing on things that we really should just tell them.

Those don't matter.

Why are you worried about that?

Why are you stressing about that?

Right.

Those are very real stressors.

So yes, we need to teach the child to move past those and be able to cope and move on productively.

But also we do need to support that.

That feeling is real is real and legitimate.

And I don't I'm going to try to avoid using the word normal, but is it is not unique to that child.

That's not the only child experiencing those feelings.

What advice do you have for for parents that you know?

I think about my own kids.

You know, they I my firstborn is or we're teaching her what type A is and she is.

Yeah.

Okay.

Right.

And she's incredibly talented.

Does very well in school.

I so badly want her to get a C on something.

Now, I could teach her that, right?

Yeah.

No, no, I know I was very.

Good at that.

But.

But she's a perfectionist, right?

And so what?

What can I do?

What can other parents do to help, break down some of that pressure to be perfect and and help kids regulate.

Because when my daughter stressed me, saying this isn't something worth stressing about.

Doesn't work.

Apparently isn't helpful.

Yeah, it's like saying, calm down to your wife.

I know I'm not supposed to do that.

No.

Kevin.

Oh, I need to get Michelle back out.

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right.

Michelle, come on.

So go ahead.

Advice for parents?

I guess what I have found that, and in my role, like, starting out as a new school counselor, this was not something that I was good at by any means, but kind of naturally, as, I kind of was assessing what approaches worked and what approaches were not as received, especially by families too.

What I think is works is to communicate with children like they're what they are, little people.

So, they're just like, telling them how things are.

I guess, just being really honest.

That doesn't mean that you need to go into, you know, graphic detail about every single way that this problem, whatever it is, can manifest.

But, just having like, open and honest communications, like, for example, this was not with a small child, but this was like a newer colleague that is just starting out.

I, I was just like, you know, I wish I could fast forward your brain ten years because I know that this is very stressful for you right now as a new, professional.

But ten years from now, you will not believe that this caused you stress at this moment.

So we kind of just work towards like establishing trust and rapport and then, maybe some encouragement that like in the future that I'll, I'll figure it out or it won't seem quite so big as it does right now.

So some of these big, big stressors that feel very big in the moment are temporary.

Yeah.

And and you can get your own van.

Yeah.

How do you how did you get into this, line of work and how long have you been at, at the school?

So this is the only school I've a school counselor in.

This is my, I think 14th, 13th or 14th year.

Okay.

But I kind of fell into it, so, I have a psychology degree, a bachelor of arts in psychology.

And then, I didn't know what to do with that.

And you kind of need further education to do anything like related.

So, a friend of mine was starting our master's program in school counseling, and I was like, maybe I'll like that.

Yeah, honestly, I thought the schedule sounded kind of nice.

Sounds good.

But I fell into it, and it just happened to be really aligned with, like, my personal skill set and my values.

Also, what what, you know, I guess taught me about, like, childhood.

Kind of.

What did your parents do?

What got you kind of wired to to want to be in a school environment?

Obviously the the, the allure of the summers is helpful, but but the reality is it's stressful.

Oh, absolutely.

Ten months out of the year.

Absolutely.

And, yeah, summers are not quite as extensive as two months either.

So that can be like a little condensed.

But, I, my parents, both are.

Well, my dad was the first in his family to be college educated.

My mom's family, that was a huge focus area for them.

So they really encouraged all of us.

I have, four siblings.

I think her job was to pursue college degrees, so that was a real value and priority in my family.

They are not educators.

Neither of my parents are educators.

But the value of, like, kind of supporting each other and working together and building community and roots that you can then depend on later on was like very much instilled in me from a child, from my childhood.

So that could have contributed.

I think that there's probably multiple factors that led to me ending up in education.

But I can't really pinpoint just one or the other.

It kind of just fell into place.

Jillian Caswell with Waterville Primary.

What?

What's your favorite part of your job now?

It's a very.

People work, thankless jobs.

This is not a thankless job.

So I am overly appreciated.

Overly thanked.

Like, sometimes I feel like it's not necessarily deserved.

Well, that's very nice.

Yes.

So, But really, what is beneficial is being able to see the, changes in the growth and the meaningful progress forward that, these kids can make with the support of their families and the support of their school.

So just kind of promoting collaboration and really, our school's theme is like, we're better together with for the last couple of years, that's what we've been focused on.

And it it really is like literally true.

We need each other.

So that's I guess the best part of my job is seeing that all is great.

And so happy that you're appreciated.

What is something that you, so much focus now is on the 0 to 5 space.

And I know that as a school counselor, you don't deal with 0 to 5 year olds, but or four year olds.

What?

What's something that parents or grandparents are can be doing with their kids?

If you know, in that time frame to get them ready.

What would be a priority to get them ready to be, a positive influence in the school environment, to be able to adapt to it once they get there.

So I'm I'm going to say just like using emotion language, feeling language.

I have started this year when I speak specifically about feelings.

Our students will give us the answer.

Like most people, most kids will say good feelings and bad feelings.

And I always say that's a really nitpicky way to describe the I'm really nit picky about that because not things are going to happen that are going to make us feel sad or angry or worried.

And if we call those feelings bad feelings that, then that can kind of make me feel like if I feel sad or if I feel worried that I am making a bad choice, which is not accur So that's really, really important.

And this is taught and then corrected.

Corrected, corrected.

Probably everyone in my building is very tired of hearing me say that that feelings are not good or bad, but we call the feelings that we like having, comfortable feelings and then the feelings that are not.

We don't like to have are not as enjoyable or uncomfortable feeling.

So it's just really maybe normalizing, communicating about emotions and big feelings or little feelings.

And then how do we move past those?

So do we take some deep breaths.

Do we take a break and do something different for a while?

Like shift our focus a little bit.

Do we talk about it?

What is going to help us move from this place of elevated, heightened emotion to a place where we're calm and focused and able to do our best?

So amazing.

Thank you so much for for being here and sharing that information for us on Wellness Wednesday.

I love.

It.

Yeah, we in my household, we don't have good words and bad words.

We have adult words.

Oh, and very different.

Yes, very.

I mean, it sounds like.

You need to be.

You have to move in with them all.

I need I need all the help you can.

It's okay.

I don't think you need it for me as a parent.

Yeah.

I thank you so much for joining us to take a break.

When we come back, we'll be joined by Father Jeff Rose and Father Joe Newman from Saint Francis to sail school.

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Welcome back into the 419 powered by Wjrt.

It's a Wellness Wednesday presented by Work Spring.

We were talking about mental health in kids, and I'm sure we'll probably touch on that topic with our next guest as well.

But we're also talking about leadership transitions.

We have Father Jeff Rose, Father Joe Newman, some from Saint Francis.

Thank you so much for joining us.

Great to be with.

Thanks, Kevin.

Thank you.

So so you are the current president.

And then you got to come in and clean up all of his mess.

So that's the role you got, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Perfect.

Father is how long have you been to Saint Francis?

This is my 13th year.

My 11th is president, and Joe and I came in.

He had done a couple a year, maybe in the in the early aughts, as we can now say.

And then we both started in that fall of 13, and then we've all we both worn many hats.

So at one point he was vice president as I was president.

Then he he is currently our provincial superior.

So now he's over top.

You know, he's technically my boss and then.

Yeah.

So it's your fault.

So that you got the job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

And then Joe.

So you came in obviously in a couple different roles, but talk to me about kind of your, leadership transition and about being kind of the importance of what you guys are doing organizationally to be able to say, hey, this is our next president.

I'm really like, we talked about it in the intro to the show.

Non-profits do such a bad job of succession planning, right?

And and, preparing the next generation of leader and thinking.

So I'm curious how long ago was this?

Maybe I'll start with you got Rose.

How long ago were you looking at at Father Joe saying, oh, I think this is our next president.

I think when we as a school named him as vice president, it was with the thought that he would be next president.

And so then, you know, sort of an action of the Holy Spirit that we elected him the provincial superior, that kind of changed that plan.

And then another change within the Oblates, I think, made it more, obvious to us that, no, I think, you know, this was always the plan.

So.

But you're right.

I mean, when I came in, father O did the job for 37 years.

I was in third grade when he started as president.

I'm 55.

So, you know, the school spent money and intentionally made it part of a strategic plan to say this is critical.

And you're right.

We've seen many organizations, great organizations, fumble that hand off.

And that's a that's a shame.

Can we be clear about what the role of president is?

You're a president of the school.

But then there's also the Oblates.

So these are two separate.

Which is different.

Which is the priests that run the school.

And then there's a principal of the school, I'm assuming.

Or are you is the principal considered the president at Saint Francis?

I always say the president is CEO and the principal CEO.

All right.

So John Hall, our principal, just, you know, graduate, great guy.

But, you know, so he's in the contracts and he's into curriculum planning, and, I or Joe can be a part of those meetings, basically as a as they see fit.

But so I think the president is the chief spiritual officer, chief discipline officer.

You know, really making sure we continue the charism in the spirit of the school.

Right?

The Oblates are, you know, the religious order that staffs and supports the mission at Saint Francis.

And one of the wonderful things we're able to do is when we look at the positions that are so important to us, the president or even down to our teachers, we get together as a community and we say, okay, who is best suited for this?

So it's not so much a promotion, but it is a ministry and it comes first from community.

And then we work with the board and others to make sure that what we think is right is right.

But that's one of the differences in a religious community as opposed to just a standalone school.

And we talk a little bit about sort of the geography of Saint Francis here, right there.

For those that don't know, on the corner of Bancroft and Parkside.

You are running Jesu now too.

Right?

Yes.

Okay.

So you have the Jesu.

Elementary school, the Jesu church.

There's that athletic field there on the corner.

And then.

And then the Saint Francis High School.

What?

What else about the facilities are there on that campus?

Well, actually, you've got a little bit further south there in Parkside, the Visitation Monastery.

Right.

So that's the religious congregation that Francis de Sales and Jane I remember.

My brother would go there to serve the masses at like 5 a.m.

or whatever.

That's right.

With my dad complaining all the time that he had to drive them.

But anyway.

So you have that all.

The way down Parkside, then the.

Yeah.

A selection corner.

That's right.

Okay.

Yeah.

I guess I want to go back to you.

Kind of.

You were like, the moment you realized like, this is a path you want to be on.

I know I've talked to friends that are priests, and I ask, you know, I would.

I'd always ask the question, what's the hardest vow to keep?

And inevitably, I'm going into this as an immature.

You know, guy thinking, I know what the answer is.

But the answer every single time has been obedience.

Obedience.

When did you realize this is something you wanted?

And what did that path look like for you?

Yes, yes.

So I'm a from Toledo.

I went to Saint Francis.

I've known the Oblates of Saint Francis de sales my entire life.

Because I want to Christ the King.

Father Arnaud Chayefsky was there, and so I was there.

And, I would have to say that at the end of college.

And, Father Rosen, I speak to people about this all the time.

At the end of college, God presented a lot of options.

I was studying biology at the time, and God said, you know, do you want to pursue biology?

Do you want to go into medicine?

Or do you want to try this religious life route?

And I looked at all those options and God said, all of those are good.

But you get to choose.

And I think that freedom of choice and where do you want to go with your life and what do you want to try first, makes that decision or more powerful with the obedience?

You know, we take poverty, chastity, obedience as provincial.

I give out obedience.

As I can tell you, it's more difficult to give an obedience and receive one.

Yeah, because you feel really humbled by having to give such direction.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What you guys just broke ground on, what's going to be a beautiful new facility in the back of campus?

The side.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

Let me talk to me.

About what?

That what that's going to be.

So it's approaching our 75th anniversary in 2030.

And we had just looked at like we have a space issue.

It's a real premium for us when we added seventh and eighth grade.

Those have exploding growth.

There were 23 students in the first year.

It's over 115 now.

And so we we wanted to do a, you know, you really get one bite at the apple.

So this facility will primarily athletics in terms of the new building, frees up all kinds of space in the internal building for classrooms and dedicated space for performing arts.

Our musical is just so such a powerful program.

Yes.

And so, yeah, they've never had a dedicated space.

They've never complained about it, you know.

So but yeah, there's that opportunity to say, all right, for our 75th anniversary, how do we really ensure we're a school of destination?

You know, we see ourselves as an anchor institution.

And, you know, that's what's driving that strategic plan.

And so, yeah, it's a big building is, is they carved out the footprint, you're like, oh.

Yeah, it is.

What was important about Catholic education today?

I think, you know, I think you can look at it two ways.

How is why is it important for Catholics.

But why is it important for Toledo or, you know, or for any community?

And I say that was a guy that grew up in Adrian where there really aren't Catholic schools, or at least I was born in 70, Adrian Catholic Central Close the year I was born, but I so I think for Catholics, obviously in terms of their faith development, formation, I think it's kind of a slam dunk.

But I think for the larger community, what's important is the identities.

You know, sometimes people joke like, sorry, father, my son went to Saint John.

So my answer is always the same sorry, isn't it awesome that Toledo has so many wonderful Catholic schools?

To share those charisms and and then to like water and seed our community with, with a really beautiful spiritualities.

And really that idea of the importance of putting others first, community service being invested as we say, we want our young men.

Yes, we want them to go to a good college.

We want them to be good fathers and good husbands and good little league coaches, right?

That they're going to invest in the communities that they live in.

So I think and again, I'm a public school product.

So it's not that public schools can't do that.

But I've noticed that there are things Catholic schools can do, day in and day out that are formation.

All of that, that I just think are more difficult to do.

In a public.

We're talking with Father Jeff Rose and Father Joe Newman from Saint Francis.

Father Joe, I'm curious.

We talked a little bit about mental health.

And yes, students, I'm curious what the resources look like at Saint Francis and what you guys are seeing.

In terms of, you know, in your time at Saint Francis, how the high school student has changed.

Yeah, I think, Gretchen, your point about, you know, what additional work can we do in the Catholic school system?

And as you mentioned, mental health is is a great concern across this generation.

And, one of the things that we are able to do along with all of the other professional supports, is there's a great truth.

We get to speak in to our students.

And the truth is, you are created from a God who loves you.

You know, you belong here.

You have great purpose and meaning crafted by his hands.

So I think that great truth about a really deep seated dignity and identity in each human person is absolutely critical.

As we speak that day over day into the students in the building, a culture that supports that and recognizes that we're that's the way we do it.

We live in a culture that's not that.

Many times.

And speaking to the men in your care, is and talking about that is certainly important to ensure that when they go out into the world, they are that person.

But how do you combat it with what they see on social media, what they hear from our politicians, what they may be unfortunately, getting from their own families about the role of men in our society today.

So how what specifics are being can be done in the school environment for that?

Yeah, this is one on one.

Yeah.

This is one on one.

It's in small groups.

One of the big pieces we've encountered is, that there tends to be, a dismissal of the generation.

You know, I think you'll often hear, you know, adults saying, oh, you know, the youth of today or this generation know it's not true.

Every day I'm with those students and every day I see, my gosh, they are persistent.

My goodness, the things they carry, the way they schedule themselves, the way they're able to get back up, the way they're able to encounter failure and all this.

It's a wonderful, wonderful generation.

And so I think starting from a position, as a teacher, oh my gosh, one of the first lessons I ever received, Gretchen, was this.

I once said to my mentor, oblate teacher, I said, I don't know how to reach the students.

And he said, you're asking the wrong question.

The question is, are you able to be reached?

So I think that's the approach we use.

Is are we able to listen and be reached by our students so that we can respond and form authentic relationships with them to help in that formation journey?

As they become the young men God created them to be.

That's beautiful I love that.

All right.

We're going to put you guys on the spot this time because to Cebu it's now time.

For oh, I didn't know that's doing this.

Wacky.

Quiz.

This is literally the first time we've done this with two priests or 1 or 1 where he's.

So I'm sure it'll be twice as fun.

That's what most people say.

That's what they say.

Here's how it works.

I'm going to ask you for rapid fire questions.

Okay?

Off the card.

Gretchen's going to ask you to describe Toledo in one word.

You guys get two.

Okay.

And then you guys are going to work together to list the nine best things in Toledo, 0419.

Okay, here we go.

Question number one.

What do you do when you want to relax?

I garden.

What do you what do you grow?

Oh my gosh.

Vegetables and flowers I'm out there all the time.

As much as I can.

Hand in the dirt.

Love it.

And his work we all benefit from.

It's our Garden of Eden, right?

We all.

I mean, not just the food, but the space to go to unwind.

But for me it's music.

I guitar, piano, whatever.

Yeah, I love music.

Before we do, you do.

Where do you guys live?

Do you?

Is there a our.

House is attached to the.

School.

Okay.

I didn't know that.

Okay.

Yep.

What's your favorite cake?

Oh, I just had this last night.

It's that, it's like, it's a white cake for you, you sprite and a pudding mix.

And then there's a whipped cream topping, and, but it's got to be pistachio or lemon.

Okay, okay, give me a cookie.

I'll always have a cookie.

Okay.

Yeah.

The cookies come in.

Cakes.

Cookies to come in.

Cake.

Cookie cake is great.

What hobby would you love to start?

Oh, I mean, you're going to retire here soon.

I know, right?

For retirement.

Yeah.

Ooh, that's a good one.

Motorcycle rider.

I would love to.

Actually, I would love to be a pilot, but probably going to happen.

But I'd love to do it.

Hey, you can do it.

My biggest regret is I gave up on the piano.

I would love to go back to that.

My mother was right.

It's so given it up.

It's so hard.

I grew up playing piano.

I still love to sit down on the piano.

That's relaxing to me, but I. My left hand is gone.

I can read the right hands.

That's.

I'm a guitar player, but I can play guitar and piano.

But you're right.

Like, Linus and Lucy, that one always just fries my brain.

What's something that others find easy that you find quite difficult?

Oh, boy.

We already know obedience.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

Others find.

Oh, my gosh, that's a great one.

Rapid fire.

Oh, that is a toughie.

All right.

Nothing's coming to mind.

Yeah, well.

Let's skip button.

Skip.

Let's give you you'll find anything hard you get so good at everything.

It's hard.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

If you could be a world champion in any sport.

Oh, boy.

What sport would it be?

C fuck to cry, no doubt.

I don't know what that is.

Okay, so it's kind of like volleyball, but you can only touch it with your.

You cannot touch it with your ha Look it up if you've never seen it.

It's this woven rattan ball.

It is the most insane sport.

I wish I could play it in my neck doing it all by.

Oh, man.

That's crazy.

Okay.

Well, that's so much better than mine.

It'd be high jump.

I'm so short.

I'd love to be able to jump high.

Just to see that view.

Got it.

The pole vault is.

It is a cheat to that.

There you.

Go.

Yeah, a little more dangerous.

What's the one word you would use to describe the city of Toledo or the region.

Oh.

Word around I think authentic.

You know, Father Joe was just talking about, like, one of the things we work with the young men on.

But I just think, like, I find us a very real community, you know, people will share if they're unhappy, they'll.

You know, they support each other.

What?

I just I find that really real.

Okay.

Find it.

Worthwhile.

Love it.

Or.

I don't think anyone has said that yet.

No, that's a good one.

I like it, okay.

Nine words.

I mean, you can use words.

You can use things you love, you can use favorite things.

But we need nine of them.

They all have to be owned by Saint Francis.

The love.

Oh that's good, that's good.

Just helping you each get a.

4.5 or.

You know, Gosh, I mean, of course Matt's not here, but you could say Metroparks as a whole.

But I certainly love the Glass City when I look at the, and maybe, slash, the tree house one, I think.

That's so cool.

And so nationally, a head turner.

Okay.

I think the cathedral for people that go to cathedrals like to go around the country are world.

They're always shocked.

And if they're really into it, they'll go, oh my gosh, it's one of the best.

I always go to Handel's Messiah.

They're so.

Good.

Oh my goodness.

Wonderful.

All right I love our.

Downtown okay.

I love the energy there.

We have wonderful restaurants.

Yes.

Favorite one.

Favorite one.

Most area okay.

Favorite choice.

Nice.

I've got to say, I. Just.

I do a park golf course because it's the second oldest public parks in the country.

Yes.

Wayne kept the cabbage, pointed that out to me, and I just found out today.

The oldest one is in the Bronx.

In the Bronx?

Yes.

So.

Good.

Good.

You got three more.

Oh, goodness.

I love our accent.

Oh, when you go other places, they pick it up and they love it.

What is it.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah I did I love our accent.

Okay.

And there's a bit of an upset.

I love that when someone says, where'd you go to school?

They're talking about high school.

They are talking about high school.

That's right.

Yes, I love it.

Drives my wife crazy.

I mean, it's a cat.

It's a, it's a, it's a little thing, but it's a Catholic school.

Yeah, yeah, I know where all of my friends went to grade school.

Yeah.

I find it irritating that most people don't have their high school on their LinkedIn.

Like, I want to connect something like, that's too small.

I disagree.

Yeah, there's a lot.

Okay, great.

Last one.

Last one.

I right one gets one.

Do we have the zoo?

Nope.

You got man.

Yeah.

One last one.

Of course.

The Toledo Museum, you know.

All right.

Father Jeff Rose, father Joe Newman.

Congratulations.

So thank you, thank you.

Congrats on the musical as well.

Oh, it was fun.

So good.

All right, we're gonna take a break.

And when we come back, we'll wrap up this Wellness Wednesday address of the 419.

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Thank you.

Welcome back into the 419 powered by W GT as we wrap up a Wellness Wednesday edition.

Another jam packed.

We didn't we.

Didn't need.

That.

No, we never did.

Now, that's not true.

It was good, Because Michelle.

Carried the show for us, so that was awesome.

Pete.

I mean, not Paige.

I'm sorry.

Jillian was awesome.

And then, I mean, you can't beat.

Them by the rose.

And Father Joe Newman, are just good, good people doing incredible work.

And that's, you know, painful for me to say.

Yes, I know it's hard for you to admit.

But I do, I do, I do generally genuinely love, both of them.

And I'm, a big fan of the work that they're doing.

And it's, it's important.

Jillian said something that I just, I love so much.

Comfortable feelings versus uncomfortable.

Feel like that.

I could take that with me.

If you miss any part of the interview, you can catch it at 7 a.m.

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