COMING UP ON "BEHIND THE WOMAN..." >> I AM ELATED AND HONORED TO INTRODUCE MY FRIEND MICHELLE COURTNEY BERRY,.

>> MY WORK AS AN AUTHOR, SPEAKER AND COACH, AND TRAINER ALL REALLY REVOLVE AS ROUND STRESS REDUCTION HOW DO YOU KEEP CALM IN CHAOS, HOW CAN YOU TURN SOME OF YOUR EXPERIENCES INTO LESSONS THAT CAN BENEFIT OTHERS?

I WANT TO HELP HIGH PERFORMING LEADERS DESTRESS SO BETTER ENJOY SUCCESS.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.

>> ONE MORE TIME?

>> JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.

>> GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO "BEHIND THE WOMAN," I AM YOUR HOST, Dr. JUHANNA ROGERS.

AND WE ARE HERE TO RECOGNIZE AND CELEBRATE, LEARN FROM THESE DYNAMIC DIVERSE WOMEN ENRICHING CENTRAL NEW YORK, INCLUDING TONIGHT'S GUEST.

I AM ELATED AND HONORED TO INTRODUCE MY FRIEND, MICHELLE COURTNEY BERRY, AN INTERNATIONALLY TRAINED HEALTH AND WELLNESS EXPERT, AUTHOR AND SPEAKER.

I WANT YOU TO GATHER YOUR FAMILY, SEND A TEXT TO YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS.

THEY WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS EPISODE OF "BEHIND THE WOMAN."

BECAUSE WE ARE HERE WITH MY BEST FRIEND NOW,.

>> MY NEW BEST FRIEND.

>> WE JUST MET 30 MINUTES AGO.

>> LIFE LONG CONNECTION.

>> I FEEL SUCH A CONNECTION.

>> SUCH A CONNECTION.

>> MICHELLE COURTNEY BERRY.

>> UH-HUH.

>> TED TALK X, AUTHOR, COACH, LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT PERSON, TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU ARE?

>> BECAUSE OF SISTERS LIKE YOU, BECAUSE OF PEOPLE BELIEVING IN ME, LISTENING, AS I WAS CLIMBING, WE WERE LIFTING AND CLIMBING, YOU GOT TO DO IT.

MENTORS, PEOPLE WHO HEARD THE FIRST POEM THAT WASN'T THAT GREAT, AND STAYED TO THE LAST.

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY LIKE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A COLLABORATIVE EFFORT.

FAITH, HIGHER POWER, AND THEN DEVELOPING THAT BELIEF IN MYSELF.

FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT IS HOW I GOT HERE BECAUSE I DIDN'T ALWAYS BELIEVE.

>> FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENTS IN SUCCESS, RIGHT?

>> SO WE STARTED IN MANHATTAN.

I WAS HEADED TO LIKE A PRODIGY SCHOOL AND WAS GOING TO GO TO LIKE HUNTER PREP OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND MY MOTHER, I WASN'T RAISED BY MY BIO DAD.

HE TOOK OFF ON US WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG.

MY MOTHER WAS DEVASTATED.

MY MOTHER CAME OUT OF A DEEP DEPRESSION.

MY AUNTIES GATHERED AROUND HER, MOVED NEXT DOOR ON EITHER SIDE SO I WAS RAISE BY THREE AMAZING WOMEN.

AND THEN MY MOM MET A GUY AT HER JOB, SHE WAS A SECRETARY AND HE WAS AN ACCOUNTANT.

HE SAID I HAVE A PLACE IN NARROWSBURG NEW YORK.

AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS MESS HERE.

SURE, LET'S TRY IT OUT.

IT WAS AN INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY OF BLACK AND CARIBBEAN FOLKS IN NEW YORK CITY WHO HAD A PLACE.

WE HAD A THREE-MILE LAKE AND EVERYBODY COME UP IN THE SUMMERS.

SO I WAS HEADED, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO HUNTER PREP, A LITTLE KID, GOING TO BE GREAT.

AND MY MOTHER WAS LIKE MAYBE WE SHOULD LIVE HERE FULL TIME.

SO I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY LITTLE KIDS WHO LIVED YEAR ROUND IN THAT NEIGHBORHOOD.

I WAS LIKE ONE OF 75 PEOPLE OF COLOR IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND ONE OF 10 PEOPLE OF COLOR IN MY SCHOOL.

SO THE STEREOTYPICAL EXPWROAK THAT I TELL, I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO BREAK DANCE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND SQUARE DANCE IN MY SCHOOL.

ALL THESE DIVERSITIES FROM BEING AROUND ALL PEOPLE WITH YOUR SKIN TONE WHO ARE DIFFERENT COLORS AND DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES, BUT ALL CLAIMING BLACKNESS.

AND THEN GOING TO SCHOOL AND BEING LIKE ONE OF THE ONLY AND HAVING TO CLAIM THAT SPACE IN, YOU KNOW, AND FIGURE OUT THE ISSUES WITH THE ASSIMILATION, WHO, CO-SWITCHING, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

AND THEN MY NEIGHBORHOOD COLLAPSED INTO JUST 10 PEOPLE IN THE WINTER.

AND I WAS THE ONLY KID.

AND THEY WERE ALL ELDERS.

MY PARENTS WERE OLDER THAN A LOT OF MY OTHER FRIENDS PARENTS SO MY PARENTS RETIRED.

SO I LIVED WITH RETIREES AND ELDERS AND THEN IN THE SUMMER I HAD TO LIKE FIGURE OUT HOW TO INTEGRATE WITH CITY KIDS BECAUSE THEY DON'T TEACH YOU LIKE A CITY PERSON ANY NOR.

ONCE YOU LIVE IN A PLACE LIKE NARROWSBURG.

WE DIDN'T HAVE COWS BUT NOT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD BUT WHAT I ENDED UP DOING WAS CHARGING THEM BECAUSE I TOLD THEM THERE WERE PANTHERS IN THE WOODS.

YOU HAVE TO PAY ME MONEY.

>> YOU FOUND A WAY TO... >> MY MOTHER WAS LIKE, IT'S NOT REALLY-- THERE ARE NO PANTHERS MY FATHER WAS LIKE, LET HER MAKE THE MONEY.

IF THEY DON'T KNOW PANTHERS ARE NOT HERE, MY MOTHER WAS LIKE LOVE EVERYBODY.

MY FATHER WAS AN ATHEIST.

MY MOTHER WAS SUPER ADVICE CHUN AND MY DAD WAS AGNOSTIC AND THEY HAD A REALLY WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR AND RYE AND CUTTING AND SARCASTIC SO THESE WITTY PEOPLE WHO WERE LIKE IN A LOG CABIN THAT MY DAD BUILT.

>> IN THIS TOWN THAT WAS BARELY POPULATED.

>> A HAMLET, A BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD INTENTIONAL.

>> A BLACK HAMLET.

>> A WHITE HAMLET WITH BLACK INTENTIONAL NEIGHBORHOOD.

>> IN THE HAMLET.

>> IN THE HAMLET BUT OW SIDE OF THE TOWN.

THREE MILES FROM THE TOWN.

>> THERE WAS A TOWN... >> WE CALL IT INTENSIONAL.

WE PROBABLY COULDN'T HAVE LIVED IN THE TOWN.

FACTS.

SO THREE MILE LAKE.

WE DON'T HAVE A SADDER TO THE LAKE IS NOT THERE ANYMORE.

WE HAD OUR OWN STORE, WE HAD OUR OWN LAND, WE HAD OUR OWN HOMES.

WE HAD OUR VEGETABLES, WE SHARED RESOURCES.

WE NEVER LOCKED OUR DOORS.

SO IT DIDN'T LAST BECAUSE PEOPLE WANTED OUR LAKE.

THERE IS A LURMT ABOUT IT-- A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT IT.

THE LAKE WAS DYNAMITED AND DRAINED WHEN I WAS 18.

IT GAIFT MY FATHER A HEART ATTACK AND HE DIED A FEW LIARS LATER OF CANCER.

I LARGELY BELIEVE LOSING WHAT HE LOVED SO MUCH, I USED TO JOKE, HE LOVED THE LAKE MORE THAN US.

BUT LOSING THAT AND HE WAS LIKE, WE DON'T EVEN BOTHER ANYBODY IN THE TOWN.

THIS IS OUR OWN AND WE STILL CAN'T HAVE IT.

I STARTED BEING INTERESTED IN ENVIRONMENTAL RACISM.

I STARTED IN LAND AND STRESS AND LABORS YOU CHOOSE AND LABORS YOU DON'T CHOOSE, LABORS FOISED UPON YOU.

MY MOTHER WAS MIXED RACE WITH A SHARE CROPPER AND MY DAD GREW UP NOT FAR FROM HERE.

I TELL THIS FAMILY STORY BECAUSE HOW THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH MET, HOW DIFFERENT POLITICS, DIFFERENT IDEOLOGIES MET, AND HOW MY NEIGHBORHOOD SURROUNDED ME WITH LOVE AND ATTENTION AND CARE, LIKE I HAD REVERSE PEER PRESSURE.

THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DO ANYTHING.

THEY'RE LIKE NO, YOU ARE THE GOOD KID.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE A SUCCESS.

I WAS LIKE CAN I DO SOME OF THE-- Y'ALL DRINKING.

THEY SAID NO, YOU WILL NOT DRINK.

I DON'T THINK I DRANK UNTIL I WAS 21.

MY NEIGHBORHOOD HAD ME.

>> IN "BEHIND THE WOMAN," PART WHAT HAVE WE CREATE THIS SPACE TO TALK ABOUT IS, YOU KNOW, BEHIND ALL THE WORK THAT YOU ARE PRODUCING, THE ARTICLES, THE BOOKS YOU ARE WRITING.

>> FINALLY.

>> KEEPING CALM IN CHAOS, HOW TO WORK WELL, LOVE WELL AND LIVE WELL AND LOVE ABUNT ANTLY NO MATTER WHAT, HOW HAS THAT EXPERIENCE INFORMED AND PROBABLY TRANSFORMED THE WORK THAT YOU WERE DOING WITH OTHERS IN HELPING THEM FIND THEIR BEST SELVES?

>> YEAH, I MEAN, IN SEEING THE EARLY STORIES OF, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY WAS TRYING TO OVERCOME SOMETHING OR STRESSED ABOUT SOMETHING, EVEN WHEN I WENT OFF INTO COMMUNICATIONS OR JOURNALISM OR HAD MY OWN BUSINESS AND I FIRST STARTED DOING CONSULTING, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ABOUT MARKETING OR BRANDING, WHAT I WAS MORE ATTUNED TO, LISTENING TO WAS THE STRESS PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT.

THE STRESS MY PARENTS WERE UNDER OR THE WAYS THAT ROB PETER TO PAY PAUL OR WHEN I WENT TO GRADUATE SCHOOL AT CORNELL AND REALIZED I'M MAKING MORE THAN MY PARENTS AS A GRAD STUDENT.

I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD SO LITTLE BECAUSE THEY GAVE SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THERE WAS SO MUCH RICHNESS AND THE TAPESTRY AND THE NEIGHBORS CONTRIBUTING TO HISTORY AND PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND WHAT THEY WERE WORKING IN NEW YORK CITY IN MAGAZINES OR BROADWAY DANCING OR THEY WERE TEACHING AFRICAN HISTORY SO THEY JUST FOLDED ALL THOSE LESS-- ALL THOSE LESSONS TO ME.

LIKE BACK THEN, WE HAD TO LISTEN TO ELDERS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I WAS INTAINGED BY-- SPANKED BY A NEIGHBOR BUT I WAS THE WRONG KID.

THEY WERE OH MY GOODNESS.

I AM LIKE THAT'S NOT WHAT I WENT TO THEERP ABOUT.

WHAT INFORMED THIS CONSTANT WORK IS HOW DO YOU KEEP CALM IN CHAOS?

HOW CAN YOU TURN SOME OF YOUR EXPERIENCES INTO LESSONS THAT CAN BENEFIT OTHERS?

OBVIOUSLY TO GLEAN EXPERIENCES FROM MY CHILDHOOD, GRADUATE VALEDICTORIAN FROM HIGH SCHOOL, MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO.

THEY SAID YOU ARE GOING TO COLLEGE AND DOING.

THIS AND INTERVIEWING LIKE FAMOUS PEOPLE AND.

>> LIKE MAYA ANGELOU OR... >> YOU KNOW, SIMILAR TO MET OPRAH AT ONE OF THOSE LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE EVENTS.

I HAD RAISED MONEY FOR ONE OF HER FAVORITE CHARITIES SO I GOT MENTIONED IN O MAGAZINE.

SHE WAS RAISING MONEY FOR A VARIETY.

I PICKED THE ONE, RAISING MONEY FOR KIDS WHOSE PARENTS WERE EITHER DEPLOYED IN THE MILITARY OR, YOU KNOW, INJURED OR DIED.

AND I WAS LIKE LET ME HELP THESE KIDS.

BECAUSE OUR COMMUNITY IS SO GREAT HERE, I WAS ABLE TO PICK UP THE PHONE, PUT SOMETHING ON THE INTERWEB AS MY AUNTS CALLED IT AND RAISE MONEY AND GET RECOGNIZED BY OPRAH.

FOR MAYA, THE SAME THING I LEARNED FROM MY CHILDHOOD, PUT YOURSELF FORWARD AND IN A LOT OF WAYS, LIVING IN UPSTATE NEW YORK BECAUSE I KEPT MOVING UPSTATE, CLOSER TO MY PARENTS, UNDERGRAD IN BINGHAMTON.

MY PARENTS WERE SICK A LOT AND YOU'RE LIKE OH MY GOD, I'M A BLACK PERSON IN BINGHAMTON, A POET.

WHEN MAYA IS COMING TO DISCOVERY CENTER AND YOU ARE ON THE BOARD OF THE DISCOVERY CENTER, THE CHILDREN'S MUSEUM AND THE HEAD OF THE DISCOVERY CENTER SAYS WOULD YOU LIKE TO OPEN FOR MAYA, AND I'M THINKING BECAUSE SHE SAID I REALLY WANT A BLACK POET.

AND THEN I'M THINKING MAYBE IT'S OKAY I'M IN BINGHAMTON.

IF I HAD BE IN ATLANTA, I DON'T KNOW IF IT WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE GIG, OR, DID CRRKS, SMALL POND, YOU KNOW.

>> SITTING ON THE SET OF THE TELEVISION SHOW THAT IS ABOUT CELEBRATING LEARNING FROM AND INTRODUCING DYNAMIC WOMEN THAT ARE DOING WORK ACROSS THE REGION, CAME BECAUSE I'M IN SOME SMALL TOWN, RIGHT?

OR MEDIUM SIZED CITY.

>> I THINK I WAS-- AT THE TIME I THINK I WAS THE ONLY BLACK POET IN BINGHAMTON.

NOT SO ANYMORE.

>> BUT I THINK THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER THEME IN ALL THE GUESTS WE HAVE BEEN SEEING THIS EPISODE IS THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT CAN COME BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A SPACE LIKE THIS.

SO OFTEN THE RIT RICK IS-- SO OFTEN THE RHETORIC IS WE HAVE TO GO TO THE CHICAGO AND NEW YORK AND L.A. AND THEY OFFER WHAT THEY OFFER.

>> BUT I LIKE TO COME TO THE AIRPORT AND JUST LIKE WHIZ THROUGH THE LINE OR RECOGNIZING LIKE EVEN HERE IN THE COMMUNITY, IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUNG PEOPLE TO HEAR THAT WHEN FOLKS LIKE YOURSELF COME THROUGH, WE DIDN'T GET EVERYBODY HERE WITH YOU TODAY, BUT WE'LL INVITE YOU BACK.

YOU KNOW, THEY CAN SIT DOWN WITH COURTNEY.

THEY CAN TALK TO MICHELLE OR MISS BERRY, YOU KNOW,.

>> OF COURSE.

>> IN A WAY THAT CAN HELP THEM PROPEL SO WHEN THEY GET TO NEW YORK OR CHICAGO OR L.A., THEY'RE GOING WITH THEIR TITLE, WITH THEIR HEADS HELD EYE.

THEY'RE NOT STARTING FROM, YOU KNOW, WHERE MANY OF OUR FOLKS HAD TO START FROM BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE OPPORTUNITIES WERE.

>> RIGHT.

AND IF YOU LOOK AT THOSE EXAMPLES, LIKE I GOT TO READ A POEM FOR HER THAT I HAD WRITTEN WHEN I FIRST SAW HER GIVE THE INAUGURAL ADDRESS.

>> TELL ME-- CAN I JUST TOUCH YOUR HAND?

BECAUSE YOU OPENED FOR MAYA.

>> YES.

>> YOU AND MAYA ARE THE SAME HEIGHT AND I HAD TO LOOK UP.

>> WE ARE THE SAME HEIGHT.

>> I MEAN THAT THIS PERSON IN A NON-PROFIT CHILDREN'S MUSEUM HAD A VISION OF HAVING Dr. ANGELO COME AND EVERYBODY IS LIKE, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET THAT.

SHE SAID I'M GOING TO WRITE A LETTER.

WHEN SHE WROTE BACK, SHE SAID I COOK FOR MYSELF, I WILL BE STAYING AT A RESIDENCE INN.

SHE WENT TO WEGMAN'S AND GOT HER FOOD.

SHE IS A REGULAR PERSON.

CELEBRITIES ARE JUST REGULAR PEOPLE THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS, RIGHT?

SO SHE CAME AND SHE IS SITTING BACKSTAGE AND SHE HAD A SEAR WITH HER, A PERSON WHO STAYED IN FRONT TO MAKE SURE YOU HAD THE RIGHT ENERGY AND SOME PEOPLE HAD TO BACK UP.

SO I WAS LIKE I WANT TO MEET HER.

AND HE LET ME BY.

AND I SAID, MISS MAYA,... SHE SAID WHY ARE YOU STAMMERING WHAT'S WRONG?

I SAID I'VE ADMIRED YOU FOR SO LONG.

SHE SAID WHY ARE YOU DEMURRING.

SHE SAID HAVE YOU WRITTEN A POEM FOR ME THAT YOU SPOKE TRUTH THAT YOU KNEW, SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER.

I WILL SPEAK AND MEET ONE DAY.

AND SHE SAID DID YOU IMAGINE YOU WOULD MEET ME WHEN YOU WROTE?

AND I SAID YES.

AND SHE GOES THAT'S WHY BECAUSE THE POSITIVE IS WHAT WILL COME TRUE AND GOD'S HAND IS IN THAT.

NYKNEE IS BACK BUT FOR YOU MISS BERRY, I WILL STAND.

I'M NERVOUS.

SHE IS GOING TO STAND.

SHE HAD A BAD KNEE AND SHE HAD A CUP.

I'M NOT SURE IT HAD WATER IN IT.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT WAS IN THE CUP.

SHE HAD IT AND SHE GOT UP AND HELD HER KNEE AND SAID I WILL BE AT THE EDGE OF THE CURTAIN FOR YOU AND YOU WILL BE AMAZING.

AND AFTER I GOT DONE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAID.

I DID THE POEM.

I CAME OFF THE STAGE AND SHE HAD HER ARMS OPENED WIDE AND SHE PULLED ME TO HER CHEST AND SHE SAID YOU, MISS BERRY, ARE YOU A POET.

NEVER STOP WRITING.

NEVER STOP BELIEVING.

SO YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, WHEN I SENT MY STUFF OUT AND GOT REJECTED I WAS LIKE BUT MAYA SAID-- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WERE SENDING THIS POEM BACK.

>> LET'S JUST TAKE A MOMENT BECAUSE WITH THAT STORY, AND TWO TED-X TALKS AND A HOST OF OTHER ENGAGEMENTS SINCE THAT MOMENT.

LET'S LOOK AT SOME OF THE WISDOM MICHELLE IS SHARE AGO CROSS THE COUNTRY AND WITH THE WORLD.

>> MY WORK AS AN AUTHOR, SPEAKER AND COACH AND TRAINER IS ALL REALLY REVOLVING AROUND STRESS REDUCTION BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP DISEASED, OVERTASKED HIGH PERFORMING LEADERS DESTRESS SO THEY CAN BETTER ENJOY SUCCESS.

SO I'M HERE WITH THOMPSON COUNTY AND I'M ABOUT TO GIVE A TALK ON LEADERSHIP AND HOW IT IS DEI WELLNESS AND THE MORE YOU BUILD PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY FOR EMPLOYEES, THE BETTER YOUR PROFIT, REVENUE SHARING AND GREATER CUSTOMER SERVICE.

WE OFTEN HAVE WELLNESS OVER HERE AND DE IR OVER HERE AS IF THEY'RE SEPARATE FUNCTIONS.

ONE OF THE KEY POINTS IS THAT THEY'RE LINKED AND THEY SHOULD BE LINKED IN YOUR PROGRAM FOR EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT, INCREASING REVENUE AND BUILDING STRONGER TEAMS.

SO WE ARE REALLY LOOKING AT THE ISSUE OF ATTRITION, LOOKING AT THE GREAT RESIGNATION.

WE ARE HEARING THE TERM QUIET QUITTING AND SOME OF THE KEY POINTS I WILL BE BRINGING UP ARE, YOU KNOW, REALLY UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY IS OUR STRENGTH.

THE BUSINESS CASE FOR DIVERSITY AS WELL AS HOW EMPLOYEES PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY IS UNIQUELY TIED TO PROFITS AND PROFITABILITY.

AND SO I WILL BE MAKING THOSE CONNECTIONS WITH THE AUDIENCE TODAY.

I INCORPORATE KEEPING CALM IN CHAOS, MY NEW BOOK THAT IS JUST OUT INTO MY TALKS BECAUSE I WANT THE PEOPLE TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES IN CHAOS, SOME CHAOS WE LEARN FROM AND GROW FROM AND OTHER CHAOS IS DRAMA WE NEED TO PULL BACK FROM AND LEARN HOW TO BETTER MANAGE EXPECTATIONS, TIME, WHEN TO SAY NO, WHEN TO JUMP IN AND SAY YES.

AND SO MY BOOK IS A GUIDE POST TO HOW YOU CAN PRESS RESET, START LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT TO AND DESTRESS EVERY DAY WITH SMALL STEPS.

I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE, YOU GOT TO WALK BEFORE YOU RUN.

TO KNOW THAT HAVE YOU MADE A DIFFERENCE IN JUST ONE LIFE IS JUST SO FULFILLING I REALLY FEEL LIKE MY ROLE AND PURPOSE ON THIS PLANET IS TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE, HELP THEM DESTRESS AND HELP THEM MAXIMIZE THEIR HAPPINESS.

THAT'S WHY I WAS PUT HERE.

>> LET'S TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE UP THERE ON STAGE, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE GETTING READY TO STEP ON STAGE AND SHARE YOUR MESSAGE?

>> I'M THINKING ABOUT THE HIGHEST GOOD THAT CAN COME FROM JUST A FEW WORDS, LIKE THINKING ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE INFLUENCED US, WHERE IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A SECOND IN GRADE SCHOOL AND YOU HEARD A SPEAKER, A TEACHER AND THOSE WORDS.

SO NEGATIVE WORDS CAN STAY WITH US A REALLY LONG TIME.

THAT'S WHY THEY NEED TO BE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOURSELF.

AND NO MATTER HOW MANY I'VE DONE, I'VE DONE 5,000, I'M STILL NERVOUS BEFORE I GO ON TO ANYTHING BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU CARE, RIGHT?

WHEN I'M PHONING IN IT, I AM A LITTLE NERVOUS BUT I WILL JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SAY A MANTRA.

WHAT I'M THINKING BEFORE I GO ON CANS THAT EVERYBODY IN THE AUDIENCE IS A FRIEND AND EVERYBODY WILL TAKE AWAY SOMETHING THAT MEANS THE MOST TO THEM, RIGHT?

AND SO IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

IT'S ABOUT WHAT WAYS CAN LIGHT TRAVEL THROUGH ME, WHAT WAYS IS GOD SPEAKING TO ME TO GO OUT THERE AND DO THE WOULD?-- TO DO THE WORK.

IT BECOMES A DREAM OUT THERE ON STAGE AND YOU ARE CONNECTING WITH SOMEBODY.

SOMEBODY IS ALWAYS NODDING AND SMILING.

BECAUSE I DO STRESS MANAGEMENT, I SAY IF ANYBODY FALLS ASLEEP,LY CONSIDER IT A GREAT COMPLIMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU ARE DEEPLY RELAXED.

AND THEY START LAUGHING.

FROM HAVING BEEN BURNED OUT AND STRESSED OUT, THAT'S WHAT LED TO THE WORK OF DRIVING BECAUSE OVER ACHIEVEMENT AND PERFECTIONISM HAS AN ILLNESS ATTACHED TO IT, I USUALLY GET SICK AND I SAW THE CONNECTION BETWEEN PERFECTION I.

AND PROCRASTINATION AND THEN WHEN YOU DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE AND SUDDENLY CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR A LONG TIME AND HOW TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH NOT BEING PERFECT BECAUSE WE ARE OFTEN SOLD THAT BILL OF GOODS THAT WE HAVE TO BE.

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

SO TOLERATING THE TRUTH THAT SOMETIMES YOU ARE GOING TO SOAR IN YOUR BUSINESS AND NOT BE SO GOOD AT HOME.

OTHER TIMES YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY ROCK IT AT HOME AND NOT BE SO GOOD IN YOUR BUSINESS.

SOME SPEECHES ARE GOING TO BE BETTER THAN OTHERS.

LIKE I TRY TO BRING THE SAME JOY AND ENTHUSIASM TO THE SMALL CROWD AS TO THE CROWD OF THOUSANDS BECAUSE IT'S LIKE WHEN PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID LEE WOULD GO AND I WOULD WATCH HIM DELIVER BEFORE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OR 20 PEOPLE, AND THE SAME PASSION AND FIRE BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE DESERVE THE SAME ENERGY.

SO I GET MY ENERGY FROM THE CROWD AND I JUST GO OUT AND I'M JUST LIKE, HERE IS WHAT I PRODUCEY PAIRED BUT I'M WILLING TO GO IN WHATEVER DIRECTION Y'ALL NEED.

BECAUSE I'M NOT HERE FOR ME.

I'M HERE FOR YOU.

>> WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT A CAREER AS A SPEAKER, AS AN AUTHOR, WHAT SURPRISES YOU MOST?

>> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

I THINK WHAT SURPRISES ME IS HOW MUCH PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR STORIES OF PERFECTION.

HOW MUCH THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO REGULAR STUFF LIKE JUST TELLING YOU THAT MY DOCTOR WAS LATE AND LUCKILY IT WAS JUST A CHECKOUT AND SHE WAS LIKE CAN YOU STILL STAY?

I SAID NO, I HAVE TO GET MY EYEBROWS DONE, I'M ON TV TOMORROW WITH Dr. ROGERS.

SO THAT KIND OF STORY... >> IT'S HUMAN.

>> I FOR SO LONG, I HID FAILURES AND MISTAKES AWAY BECAUSE IT'S THE WAY I WAS TRAINED.

BUT WHEN I FOUND IF YOU ARE COACHING, IF YOU ARE LEADING, YOU ARE LEARNING AS MUCH AS YOU ARE TEACHING, PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR THE FITS AND THE STARTS.

THEY WANT TO HEAR WHEN YOU FELL DOWN BECAUSE THEY DID, TOO.

AND THAT HUMANIZES YOU SO ACTUALLY, I ACTUALLY MADE MORE MONEY WHEN I TALKED ABOUT MISTAKES THAN WHEN I JUST PAINTED THIS ROSIE PICTURE BECAUSE I THINK MY FAMILY WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE STRESS MANAGEMENT STUFF ON THE PHONE AND GETTING ON ZOOM AND GETTING OFF CAMERA AND SCREECHING THROUGH THE HOUSE.

SO THEY WANTED LIKE CAN YOU BE THE SAME WAY?

CAN YOU BE AUTHENTICALLY OFF CAMERA AS YOU ARE ON?

AND SO I THINK WHAT SURPRISED ME IS YOU CAN BE.

LIKE I'M THE SAME PERSON WHEN THE CAMERAS GO OFF BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT.

YOU DON'T WANT ME TO COME IN AND BE LIKE WHATEVER THIS IMAGINARY CHARACTER IS.

BE A REAL PERSON.

SOME DAYS YOU HAVE LITERALLY NOT HAD GOOD NUTRITION AND HAVE YOU GONE AND SPOKEN ABOUT NUTRITION.

SOME DAYS YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT AND TALKED ABOUT THE DANGERS OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

>> I DIDN'T REALLY EAT TODAY.

YEAH, AND I HAD-- THIS IS MY SECOND CUP OF WATER.

>> IS IT BECAUSE YOUR TELL-- I CAN JUST COACH YOU FOR FREE IS IT BECAUSE YOUR SCHEDULE IS TOO FULL.

>> WHYY.

>> AND YOUR SCHEDULE IS TOO FULL BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE BOOK IT OR YOU BOOK IT?

>> BOTH.

>> SO ALL YOU DO IS BECOME NON-AFFORDABLE ABOUT THE TIMES YOU EAT AND YOU CANNOT BE BOOKED THEN.

THAT'S IT.

AND JUST DO SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE MAKE A SMOOTHIE.

HAVE AN APPLE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A GOURMET MEAL BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO HAVE SOMETHING.

>> SO I NEED TO SCHEDULE SOME TIME TO MAKE SURE I DON'T TOUCH THE TIME.

IT'S EATING TIME.

ARE YOU SURE IT'S THAT SIMPLE?

>> IT REALLY IS.

RIGHTS NOT THAT SIMPLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE NON-NEGOTIABLE WITH IT.

IF THIS IS THE TIME TO WORK OUT.

IF THIS IS THE TIME TO EAT OR SLEEP, THAT'S IT BUT WHAT OFTEN HAPPENS IS BECAUSE BIG HEARTED PEOPLE, WHICH YOU ARE, GO I CAN DO MORE.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU ARE GOING TO NEED MY BOOK BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY WILL GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN MAKE CHAOS YOUR FRIEND BUT ONLY FOR SO LONG.

THERE ARE GOOD SIDES TO CHAOS, RIGHT?

BECAUSE WE KEEP LEARNING-- HIGH PERFORMING PEOPLE-- I HELP HIGH PERFORMING PEOPLE PRESS RESET SO THAT THEY CAN DESTRESS AND ENJOY THEIR SUCCESS.

BECAUSE, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.

>> CAN YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME?

>> JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ENJOYING IT AND SOME OF MY WEIGHTIEST CLIENTS ARE MY UNHAPPIEST, RIGHT?

SO MONEY AND FAME WON'T BRING YOU JOY.

AND OVER SCHEDULING YOURSELF IS PART OF A CONDITION THAT IS REWARDED.

WE ARE REWARDING FOR OVERWHELMED, OVER TAXED, OVER STRESSED.

WE ARE REWARDED IN OUR SOCIETY FOR THAT LIFESTYLE AND I THINK WITH WE LOOK-- WHEN WE LOOK AT THE PRESSURES PREJUDICES DEMANDS MANY OF US FACE, WE THINK WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY DO MORE, DO MORE, DOOR MORE BUT THERE IS PROOF OUT THERE IF WE SCALE DOWN, WE GET MORE DONE.

MULTITASKING IS KIND OF A MYTH, AND SO IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT YOUR CROWDED SCHEDULE, IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO AUDITION TO THE PART YOU ALREADY HAVE.

YOU HAVE ARRIVED.

WHAT IS HAPPENING FOR YOU IS YOU HAVE A HARD TIME SAYING NO AND THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT PEOPLE OUT THERE AND YOU COULD SAY I COULD PUT ONE MORE AND SCHEDULERS WOULD BLOCK FOR YOU IF YOU WOULD-- YOU PROBABLY ARE THE PERSON WHO GOES AND TAKES THE BLOCK OFF.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ME ON TELEVISION.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MICHELLE... [LAUGHTER] FOR JOINING ME.

DON'T TELL NOBODY.

SHE WAS READING MY EMAILS-- >> I'M PSYCHIC.

[LAUGHTER] >> THANK YOU MICHELLE FOR JOINING ME THIS EVENING ON BEHIND THE WOMAN.

AND FOR YOUR WORK IN BUILDING SUCH INCLUSIVE AND WELL MINDED COMMUNITIES, WELLNESS MINDED COMMUNITIES.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO VIEW THIS SHOW AGAIN, PLEASE VISIT US ONLINE AT WCNY.ORG/"BEHIND THE WOMAN."

MY NAME IS Dr. JUHANNA ROGERS AND ON BEHALF OF THE "BEHIND THE WOMAN" TEAM, THANK YOU AND HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT.

EFFECTS WEEK ON "BEHIND THE WOMAN."

>> TONIGHT I'M EXCITED TO INTRODUCE Dr. CHERYL B.

MINOR.

YOU ARE THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRINCIPAL OF A SCHOOL IN UTICA NEW YORK.

>> I ENJOY BEING ABLE TO BE THE ROLE MODEL THAT MANY OF OUR BLACK AND BROWN STUDENTS NEED TO HAVE BEFORE THEM.

IF I CAN SHOW THEM THAT THEY CAN BE WHATEVER THEY DESIRE TO BE, I'VE DONE MY JOB.

EDUCATION IS A WAY OF CLIMBING THE LADDER TO SUCCESS.