THIS WEEK ON TO THE CONTRARY.•• MORE THAN HALF OF AMERICAN CHILDREN ARE BORN TO UNMARRIED PARENTS.

AND THE PRESIDENT'S TWEET ABOUT AN ANCHOR.

HOW THE JOCK WHISPERER IS COMBATING SEXUAL ASSAULT.

HELLO, I'M BONNIE ERBE.

WELCOME TO TO THE CONTRARY, A DISCUSSION OF NEWS AND SOCIAL TRENDS FROM DIVERSE PERSPECTIVES.

UP FIRST, THE SUCCESS SEQUENCE.

A RECENT REPORT BY THE AMERICAN ENTERPRISE INSTITUTE SHOWS THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME, THE MAJORITY OF MILLENNIAL PARENTS ARE HAVING CHILDREN WITHOUT GETTING MARRIED.••THAT IS A MAJORITY OF PARENTS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 28 AND 34 WERE NOT MARRIED WHEN THEY HAD THEIR FIRST CHILD.

THE AEI REPORT ALSO SAYS PARENTS WHO HAVE THEIR FIRST CHILD UNMARRIED ARE LESS LIKELY TO ESCAPE POVERTY.

ABOUT 7 IN 10 OF YOUNG MARRIED PARENTS WHO GREW UP POOR ESCAPED POVERTY BY THE TIME THEY WERE 34.

BY CONTRAST, ABOUT 4 IN 10 OF YOUNG SINGLE PARENTS WHO GREW UP POOR ACHIEVED THE SAME.

THE REPORT DISCUSSES THE "SUCCESS SEQUENCE" FOR MILLENNIALS, WHICH MEANS GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL, THEN GETTING A JOB, THEN GETTING MARRIED WAITING UNTIL THEN TO HAVE KIDS.

MORE THAN 8 IN 10 OF YOUNG PARENTS WHO GREW UP POOR BUT FOLLOWED THE SUCCESS SEQUENCE ESCAPED POVERTY.

SO, CONGRESSWOMAN NORTON IS THE SUCCESS SEQUENCE SOMETHING ALL MILLENNIALS SHOULD TRY TO FOLLOW?

>> BONNIE IN A FREE COUNTRY YOU CANNOT TELL PEOPLE WHEN TO HAVE CHILDREN BUT YOU CAN SHOW THEM THE EVIDENCE THAT MARRIAGE FIRST ENHANCES ECONOMIC SUCCESS.

>> GETTING MARRIED BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT.

I THINK WE ARE ALL IN AGREEMENT HERE.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU CANNOT APPROACH A FORMULA FOR ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.

>> I MEAN BEING A PARENT IS HARD AND IT WILL BE HARDER IF YOU ARE DOING IT ALONE.

>> AND IT IS EXPENSIVE, TOO.

>> YES.

>> BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK WHAT MILLENNIALS WHO MAYBE WATCHING THE SHOW ARE LOOKING AT US AND THINKING THAT WE LIVE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD THAN THEIR WORLD PARTICULARLY THE YOUNG WOMEN.

THEY CANNOT FIND MEN.

MANY WOULD LIKE TO.

TEENAGE PREGNANCY IS GOING DOWN WHICH IS A FABULOUS THING.

WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 20 AND UP.

AND MANY SAY I'VE LOOKED FOR A MAN OR THEY GET PREGNANT TRYING TO LOCKDOWN A RELATIONSHIP AND THAT FAILS.

IT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLD.

AND THEY ARE NOT LISTENING, BY THE WAY.

I REMEMBER 25 YEARS AGO, I WROTE AN OPINION COLUMN WITH BETSEY HART A CONSERVATIVE YOUNG WOMAN THEN AND SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT CONSERVATIVES WHOM I GAVE CREDIT FOR WERE SAYING MARRIAGE FIRST AND THEY USED TO TALK MARRIAGE, HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE, THEN CHILDREN.

WHICH, OF COURSE IS A BETTER FORMULA.

AND THE WORLD HAS DONE FOG OR THIS COUNTRY HAS DONE NOTHING BUT GO IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.

IS THERE ANYWAY THAT CULTURAL LEADERS CAN GET A HANDLE ON THIS?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK IS INTERESTING IS THAT THE MILLENNIALS IT'S IMPORTANT FOR US NOT TO BE CONNED SENDING TOWARDS THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE THE MOST EDUCATED GENERATION IN HISTORY.

AND THAT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE.

AND WE ARE LIVING IN AN ERA THAT YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO HAVE A BABY.

IT'S MORE IMPORTANT FOR US TO FOCUS ON THE EDUCATION FACTOR.

>> BUT IF YOU TALK TO THEM AND THEY SAY MY PARENTS WERE MARRIED AND IT DID NOT WORK.

SO THAT IS WHY I DON'T CARE ABOUT MARRIAGE.

I'M LIKE OK SO YOURS DID NOT WORK AND YOU GENERALIZE THAT TO SAY THAT NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO WORK?

AND WOMEN ARE IN SUCH WORSE FINANCIAL SITUATIONS IF THEY HAVE A KID OUT OF WEDLOCK IT'S VERY HARD TO GET CHILD SUPPORT FROM THE FATHER.

>> I TELL YOU, BONNIE, AND YOU TALKED ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW, IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE FOR THEM, YES BUT PRESENTING THE EVIDENCE.

AND YOU TALKED ABOUT CULTURAL.

ONE OF THE PROBLEMS IS THE CULTURAL LEADERS IN THEIR WORLD WERE THE ONES NOT HAVING MARRIAGE AT ALL AND HAVING BABIES -- >> I REMEMBER MADONNA HAVING A CHILD WITH HER PERSONAL TRAINER.

>> GETTING MARRIED FIRST AND CHILDREN LATER IS NOT THE NORM FOR OUR CULTURAL LEADERS.

AND THAT IS PART OF THE PROBLEM.

>> HOW DO YOU TURN THAT BACK?

>> YOU GO TO THEM AND TELL THEM YOU ARE DESTROYING MILLENNIALS.

>> TAKING AWAY THE STIGMA IS A GOOD THING.

YOU DON'T WANT A WOMAN TO FEEL STIGMATIZED BECAUSE SHE HAD A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK.

BUT THIS IS VERY SERIOUS.

>> BUT IT USED TO WORK.

>> IT WORKED FOR THE MILLENNIALS BECAUSE THAT THEIR GENERATION DID WAIT AND THEY THE MARRIAGE MAY HAVE BROKEN UP BUT THE CHILDHOOD OF THOSE MILLENNIALS WAS STABLE AND ENHANCED BY VIRTUE OF THE FACT THERE WERE TWO HOUSEHOLDS TRYING TO DO THE HARDEST JOB IN LIFE.

>> WHAT STRUCK ME ABOUT THE SEQUENCE IS WHY A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA?

WE SHOULD HAVE HIGHER EDUCATION THEN YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY ON YOUR OWN.

IT CANNOT BE ABOUT LOCKING DOWN A MAN.

>> THERE ARE GREAT JOBS WITH A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

>> AND WHEN WE PUSH TOO MANY KIDS INTO FOUR YEAR DEGREES YOU CAN PUSH THEM INTO DEBT.

>> DO YOU SEE ANYWAY TO REVIVE MARRIAGE AS A PREREQUISITE TO HAVING CHILDREN?

>> NOT NECESSARILY.

BUT WE HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING IN THAT DIRECTION AND HAVING THIS CONVERSATION, I AGREE THAT WE DO NOT WANT TO BE TRYING TO STIGMATIZE PEOPLE AND WE NEED TO BE SUPPORTING SINGLE MOMS AND ALL THEY ARE TRYING TO DO.

BUT AGAIN WE NEED TO TALK HONESTLY AND MAKE SURE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GETTING INTO AND RECOGNIZING THE BENEFITS FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEMSELVES.

THIS IS NOT WE SHOULD NOT GLORIFY.

I THINK WHEN YOU SEE THINGS IT'S LIKE FOR MOST WOMEN OR MEN FOR TRYING TO RAISE A KID.

>> IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY THEY CAN DO IT.

>> HEAR ME ON THIS.

I THINK BOTH PRESIDENTS MAY HAVE SOME GOOD EFFECTS HERE.

BOTH WERE MARRIED.

ONE THREE TIMES.

BOTH WERE MARRIED BEFORE THEY HAD ANY CHILDREN.

THEY HAVE CHILDREN THEY ARE PROUD OF THEIR CHILDREN.

>> WHEN YOU SAY TRUMP AND OBAMA?

>> SPEAKING OF THE LAST TWO PRESIDENTS.

AND OBAMA WAS THE VIRTUAL PICTURE OF WHAT A FAMILY LIFE OUGHT TO LOOK LIKE.

NOW, TRUMP MAY NOT BE THAT, BUT LOOK AT HIS CHILDREN.

HIS CHILDREN INDEED HAVE TURNED OUT QUITE ALL RIGHT.

AND NOW HE HAS A ANOTHER CHILD.

AND THAT MOTHER IS VERY CONCERNED THAT THAT CHILD COME FIRST.

SO I THINK THIS NOTION OF ROLE MODELS IS IMPORTANT.

AND THAT THIS MILLENNIAL GENERATION HAS SEEN THAT THE CURTAINS ARE OFF.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO.

AND THERE HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH EVIDENCE FROM THE TOP.

LIKE TRUMP AND LIKE OBAMA TO SAY WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO DO IT.

>> HERE IS THE GOOD THING.

SINCE HE HAS GONE THROUGH DIVORCE AND THE CHILDREN ARE ALL RIGHT, THAT IS A GOOD MODEL TO SHOW THAT EVEN WITH DIVORCE AND IT SHOULD SHOW THE MILLENNIALS WITH THE DIVORCE THEY DON'T HAVE TO SCREW UP THEIR KIDS.

>> LAST WORD.

>> I THINK ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT I APPRECIATED THAT THE OBAMAS TALKED ABOUT WAS THAT THEIR MARRIAGE WAS NOT PERFECT.

THEY HAD A GREAT FAMILY AND A GOOD MARRIAGE BUT THAT IS IMPORTANT TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION THAT MARRIAGES ARE NOT PERFECT.

NOBODY'S MARRIAGE IS PERFECT AND YOU CAN ASPIRE TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE NOT A PERFECT MARRIAGE AND THAT IS REALLY, I THINK A WONDERFUL LESSON FROM THE OBAMA MARRIAGE.

>> MARRIAGE IS THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP AND COMPROMISE.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @BONNIEERBE.

FROM FAMILY VALUES TO PRESIDENTIAL TWEETS.

WITH THE PRESIDENT'S TRAVEL BAN GOING INTO EFFECT, THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES FOCUSING ON IMMIGRATION AND THE SENATE TRYING TO CRAFT A NEW HEALTHCARE BILL, PRESIDENT TRUMP CHOSE TO USE THE BULLY PULPIT TO MOCK A FEMALE ANCHOR WITH A VULGAR AND GRAPHIC TWEET.

THE PRESIDENT TWEETED ABOUT MSNBC MORNING JOE HOSTS MIKA BRZEZINSKI AND JOE SCARBOROUGH WHO HAVE BEEN CRITICAL OF HIM.

BUT IT WAS THE SEXIST TONE AGAINST BRZEZINSKI THAT WAS CONSIDERED MOST OFFENSIVE WHEN HE WROTE SHE HAD BEEN "BLEEDING BADLY FROM A FACE-LIFT" DURING A STAY AT MAR-A-LAGO.

REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS CRITICIZED THE PRESIDENT SAYING THE TWEET WAS BENEATH THE DIGNITY OF THE OFFICE.

MELANIA TRUMP'S OFFICE RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING "AS THE FIRST LADY HAS STATED PUBLICLY IN THE PAST, WHEN HER HUSBAND GETS ATTACKED, HE WILL PUNCH BACK 10 TIMES HARDER."

>> SO ANNE STONE YOU HAVE BEEN A LIFELONG REPUBLICAN AND BIG SUPPORTER OF WOMEN'S RIGHTS.

AS A REPUBLICAN, ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED BY THIS NON-PRESIDENTIAL PRESIDENT?

THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THIS MAN.

AND IT'S OBVIOUS BY NOW.

AND WHEN PEOPLE KEEP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM, MOST OF THE PUBLIC IS NOW SAYING COME ON.

HE'S GOT ISSUES?

>> WELL, DONALD TRUMP IS NOT LIKE OUR PREVIOUS PRESIDENTS, YES.

HE HAS LITTLE OR NO FILTER.

THERE ARE THINGS THAT HE SAYS IN TWEETS.

>> AND PSYCHIATRISTS HAVE COME OUT SAYING HE HAS MENTAL ISSUES.

HE IS NOT MENTALLY WELL.

>> AND PSYCHIATRISTS THAT SAY HE IS JUST FINE.

ALL DEPENDS ON THEIR LEANINGS.

BUT I'VE SEEN REPORTS ON BOTH SIDES.

HE HAS NO FILTER.

SHOULD HE HAVE DONE THIS?

WE PREFER THAT HE HADN'T.

BUT AS MELANIA SAID YOU ATTACK HIM YOU GET ATTACKED 10 TIMES WORSE.

>> TALKING ABOUT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT.

>> LET ME FINISH.

YOU ATTACK HIM YOU WILL GET ATTACKED AND SHE HATS BEEN HAS BEEN EGGING HIM ON.

IF I COULD NOT WATCH THEIR SHOW.

SHE WAS SO NASTY AND VICIOUS OVER THE PAST SIX MONTHS.

SHE WAS EGGING HIM ON SHE WANTED TO BE THE NEXT MEGYAN KELLY.

>> AND SHE ASKED FOR IT?

>> NO, BUT THERE IS JUSTIFICATION WHY HE DID IT.

>> SO IT'S JUSTIFIED?

HIS BEHAVIOR IS JUSTIFIED?

>> TRY WATCHING THE SHOW.

GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE RERUNS.

NASTY, NASTY, PERSONAL ATTACK.

>> HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM ROMPER ROOM?

SHE SENT BACK A STUPID RESPONSE.

>> DID I NOT SAY THIS WAS NOT A GOOD THING FOR HIM TO DO.

>> PRESIDENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO RISE ABOVE THIS.

THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT.

>> I WOULD LIKE IT IN CONTEXT THAT IS ALL.

AND IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BOTHER MANY OF THE NATIONAL LEADERS THAT HE HAS MET WITH AND NEGOTIATING GREAT DEALS.

>> IT HAS BOTHERED THEM A LOT.

THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE] >> PRIME MINISTER AND SEVERAL HE HAS MET WITH SAY THEY DON'T -- THEY ACT LIKE GROWN-UPS AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A PRESIDENT SAID ONE THING ONE DAY AND THE OPPOSITE THE NEXT DAY.

>> ALSO THIS IS -- GO AHEAD.

>> I MEAN, I THINK CLEARLY THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT IS A DISTRACTION.

I THINK THAT I WISH WE WERE TALKING ABOUT -- >> WOMEN'S RIGHTS ADVOCATE DO YOU FEEL FUNNY ABOUT HAVING TO SUPPORTING HIM?

>> I MEAN, I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT -- I'M NOT HERE TO SUPPORT WHAT HE SAID.

I DO NOT THINK THAT WAS GOOD BEHAVIOR AND I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD DO NAME CALLING MEN OR WOMEN, RIGHT OR LEFT.

>> HE OBVIOUSLY IS A SUPPORTER OF THE PRESIDENT -- >> THE POLICIES.

>> AND STAND BEHIND EVERY DUMB THING HE DOES.

THAT IS THE FRIEND THAT HE NEEDS.

LOOK, YOU DON'T HIT BACK IF YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU DO NOT HIT BACK IF YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT TALKING TO SOMEONE WAY BELOW YOU.

A MEMBER OF THE PRESS OR ORDINARY CITIZEN AND YOU DO NOT HIT BACK BELOW THE BELT.

>> AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER WHAT KIND OF ON-LINE TROLLING HE IS UNLEASHED.

I WROTE AN ARTICLE ABOUT MELANNE VERVEER AND -- MELANIA TRUMP AND PEOPLE WERE CALLING MY HOME AND E-MAILING ME DEATH THREATS.

AND YOU HAVE TO THIS IS IMPORTANT.

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

UNLEASHING THIS ON HIS WOMAN AND THE POINT IS IS THAT HE JUDGES WOMEN DIFFERENTLY AND TREATS WOMEN DIFFERENTLY THAN HE TREATS MEN.

>> HE DOES NOT.

>> HE VALUES WOMEN ABOUT OUR LOOKS.

AND HE WHAT HE DID TO MIKA -- >> IT IS NOT TRUE.

I WORK WITH THE MAN.

I WORK WITH THE MAN HE DOES NOT.

>> AM I NOT ALLOWED TO EXPRESS MY OPINION.

ARE YOU GOING TO SHUT EVERYBODY DOWN.

>> YOU ARE SLAMMING THE TABLE.

>> QUICKLY.

>> THE POINT OF THE MATTER HE DOES VALUE WOMEN BASED ON OUR LOOKS HE IS TRYING TO DISCREDIT THIS WOMAN AND HER CAREER BASED ON HER LOOKS BY SAYING THIS AND IT WAS NOT TRUE.

>> I THINK IT IS NOT BASED ON HER LOOKS.

OBVIOUSLY THEY HAVE BEEN HAVING A FEUD.

I THINK IT'S EMBARRASSING THE PRESIDENT OUGHT NOT BE FIGHTING WITH AN ANCHOR HE SHOULD NOT BE NAME CALLING.

>> LET ME ASK YOU -- HE DOES SEEM TO HAVE -- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE] THAT IS ANOTHER ISSUE FOR FREUD.

LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT THE IMPACT ON WOMEN.

WHEN YOU SEE A PRESIDENT WHO DOES -- I WILL NOT SAY DEMEANS WOMEN I WILL NOT USE JUDGE.

AL TERMS BUT TREATS THEM PUBLICLY IN THIS MAN AND SAID THE THINGS HE DID TO BILLY BUSH ON THAT TAPE, APPOINTS VERY FEW WOMEN TO CABINET POSITIONS AND SITS IN A MEETING WITH THE PRIME MINISTER OF GERMANY REACHING HER HANDOUT TO SHAKE HIS HAND AND HE IS LOOKING AWAY FROM HER.

DOESN'T THIS PAINT A PICTURE OF AN AMERICA THAT IS CLEARLY DOESN'T SEE WOMEN AS EQUAL TO MEN?

>> I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD READ THAT MUCH.

YOU ARE READING MORE INTO IT.

I THINK THE PRESIDENT HAS MAKES BIG MISTAKES AND IT'S TERRIBLE PUBLIC RELATIONS.

HE SHOULD NOT DO THAT.

I DON'T KNOW THAT I AGREE THAT HE HAS A HORRIBLE ATTITUDE TOWARDS WOMEN.

SOME PEOPLE -- I DON'T KNOW.

>> [INAUDIBLE] >> YOU CAN HAVE -- HAVING CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS WOMEN EVERYWHERE SPEAK UP AGAINST HIM.

WE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT.

BUT I THINK THAT THERE'S BEEN TOO MUCH OF THE CULTURE THAT HAS GOTTEN MORE AND MORE VULGAR AND IT'S NOT JUST THE PRESIDENT BUT IT IS A PROBLEM THAT HE IS PUSHING IT FURTHER.

CONVERSATION IT IS A CONVERSATION WE NEED TO HAVE.

AND YES, THERE'S NOTHING WE -- >> BUT THE CULTURE WAS JUST AS VULGAR TWO YEARS AGO AND THE THAT PRESIDENT BEFORE HIM AND THE PRESIDENT BEFORE HIM DID NOT SPEAK TO THESE VULGARITIESISM THE CONVERSATION NEEDS TO BE HAD.

HE NEEDS TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH WOMEN LIKE YOU.

THIS BEHAVIOR WAS ABOVE ALL SELF DESTRUCTIVE.

DURING A WEEK WHEN HE HAD SOMETHING -- WHEN HE HAD SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY.

NOW, THE NOTION THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHEN HE IS HURTING HIMSELF MEANS THAT A GROUP OF WOMEN HAVE TO GET AROUND HIM AND BE FRANK WITH HIM AND NOT BE 'LODGES FOR WHAT HE IS DOING.

>> BUT HE WILL NOT HIRE ANYBODY -- >> THAT IS INSANE.

>> ALL ONE HAS TO DO IS LISTEN TO THE CABINET MEETING WHERE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WAS.

>> MALE AND FEMALE.

>> MALE AND FEMALE.

WAS [INAUDIBLE] WHO SAYS ANYTHING BUT YES BOSS ARE YOU BRILLIANT BOSS, YOU ARE WONDERFUL, BOSS.

>> THAT IS NOT TRUE.

THEY WERE EXPRESSING THAT BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT WAS ONE OF THE ONLY CHANCES THEY HAD TO GET IN THE MEDIA THAT THEY DO LIKE THE JOB THEY ARE IN AND THEY SUPPORT HIS POLICIES BECAUSE SO MUCH IN THE MEDIA THAT WAS TRASHED HIM AND SAID LET ME FINISH, LET ME FINISH.

AND THE POINT IS THE ONLY CHANCE -- HE WAS HATED SINCE THE BEGINNING.

>> CAN I FINISH?

IT WAS THEIR ONLY CHANCE TO GET IT OUT AND THEY KNEW IT AND IT PROBABLY CAME ACROSS FOR THOSE WHO HATE HIM THE WRONG WAY.

AND LET ME ADDRESS HOW HE HIRES ONLY WOMEN WHO ARE GOOD LOOKING.

LOOK AT THE WOMEN HE HIRED TO DO THE TRUMP TOWER.

>> THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID.

I SAID HE VALUES WOMEN BASED ON THEIR LOOKS.

>> HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY WOMEN IN HIS CABINET.

>> WHY THE WOMAN HE PUT IN CHARGE WITH THE STRUCTURE SHE WAS NOT A LOOKER.

>> WHO WAS THAT?

>> THE FIRST WOMAN TO HAVE A MAJOR PROJECT IN NEW YORK CITY.

SHE DID TRUMP TOWER.

>> I'M TALKING ABOUT HIS CABINET.

>> STOP!

STOP!

ONE AT A TIME.

FINISH.

SHE WAS NOT THE HEAD OF HIS ORGANIZATION.

SHE WAS HIGH UP.

YOU SAID SHE RAN THE STRUCTURE.

>> SHE RAN THE PROJECT.

>> AND MADE LESS THAN ALL THE MEN, BY THE WAY.

>> SHE RAN THE TOWER PROJECT.

AND I KNOW -- I CHECKED THAT OUT.

>> SHE WROTE ABOUT IT.

SHE SAID WELL THEY WERE LAWYERS THEY DESERVED MORE MONEY.

>> ANYWAY I CHECKED THAT OUT.

>> BUT THEY WERE DOING THE SAME JOB.

>> THE POINT IS SHE WAS NOT A LOOKER.

HE HIRED HER FOR BRAINS.

IT'S BEEN BRAINS AND HE RESPECTS WOMEN AND THINGS FRANKLY, HE THINKS WE ARE SMARTER THAN MEN AND IN BUSINESS -- >> UNLESS YOU ARE BLEEDING FROM SOMEWHERE.

>> CHEAP SHOTS.

CHEAP SHOTS.

YES YOU HAVE SEVERAL TIMES.

>> AND THE POINT IS THAT HE IS NOT EVEN BEING GIVEN A CHANCE BY ANYBODY.

THE MEDIA TAKES ANYTHING HE DOES AND THEY READ INTO IT THE WORST -- >> IF YOU WERE OFFERED A JOB IN HIS ADMINISTRATION WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

>> YES.

>> ALL RIGHT.

BEHIND THE HEADLINES: THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION IS SCALING BACK CIVIL RIGHT INVESTIGATIONS INCLUDING COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE MISHANDLING OF SEXUAL ASSAULTS ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES.

IN THE PAST FEW YEARS A NUMBER OF HIGH PROFILE SEX ASSAULT CASES INVOLVED STUDENT ATHLETES.

WE SPOKE WITH ALEXIS JONES, WHO HAS BEEN CALLED "THE JOCK WHISPERER" FOR HER WORK TEACHING ATHLETES HOW TO PREVENT ASSAULT.

>> I THINK THE BEST STRATEGY I HAVE IS JUST BEING REALLY CANDID AND HONEST WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY.

AND ONE OF THE THINGS WHEN YOU COME INTO THE ECOSYSTEM AND TRY AND REMAIN PC I DO NOT THINK IT'S EFFECTIVE.

>> ALEXIS JONES IS THE FOUNDER OF PROTECT HER, AN ORGANIZATION THAT EDUCATES ATHLETES ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT.

>> WE TABOO WITH THE TRUTH IT HAS A WAY OF SILENCING TABOOS AND YOU ASK THEM QUESTIONS AS OPPOSED TO POINTING FINGERS AND PREACHING AT THEM.

>> HIGH PROFILE CASES OF WIDESPREAD SEXUAL ASSAULT PERPETRATED BY STUDENT AND PRO ATHLETES HAVE MADE THE ISSUE TAKE CENTER STAGE IN THE SPORTS WORLD.

THIS LED TO A CALL FOR EDUCATING YOUNG MEN IN LOCKER ROOMS.

BUT JONES SAYS THOSE EARLY PROGRAMS WERE NOT EFFECTIVE.

>> WHAT I HEARD FROM GUYS IN LOCKER ROOMS WAS UP UNTIL THIS POINT I FELT BAD FOR BEING A GUY.

99% OF US WOULD NOT DO THAT.

SO IT FELT UNRELATABLE.

THE CONVERSATION.

BECAUSE IF SOMEONE COMES IN AND IS TALKING TO ME ABOUT ROBBING BANKS AND I SAY I WOULD NEVER ROB A BANK IT DOES NOT FEEL RELATABLE LIKE I'M INCLUDED IN THE CONVERSATION.

>> IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW APPROACH.

>> MY HUSBAND PLAYED PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL FOR NINE YEARS.

HE HAD HEARD SOME VERSION OF THIS TALK SEVERAL TIMES FROM THE TIME THAT HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

HE SAYS THE REALITIES ARE IF YOU ARE TALKING TO 18-YEAR-OLD BOYS AND SAY SEXUAL ASSAULT PREVENTION THEY DO NOT GET PAST THE WORD SEX BECAUSE THEY ARE THINKING ABOUT THE RANDOM SORORITY GIRLS THEY ARE TRYING TO HOOK UP.

IF I WERE YOU I WOULD PULL PICTURES OF SISTERS AND MOMS AND GIRLFRIENDS TO REFRAME THE CONVERSATION SO NOW YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLS THAT THEY DON'T WANT ANYONE HAVING SEX WITH AND I GUARANTEE YOU YOU WILL GET THEIR FULL ATTENTION AND I HAD NO IDEA HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WOULD BE.

BUT I DID.

I PULLED PICTURES OF THE GIRLS AND WOMEN THAT THEY LOVE AND PUT IT ON MY PRESENTATION AND SO WHEN I SAID ONE IN FIVE GIRLS WILL BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S HER.

AND NOW THEY WERE STARING AT PICTURES OF THEIR 16-YEAR-OLD SISTERS AND THEIR SINGLE MOM AND GIRLFRIENDS AND SUDDENLY BECAME A DIFFERENT CONVERSATION.

>> SOME ATHLETES EVEN CRIED DURING THE WORKSHOPS.

>> IT IS AN EMOTIONAL THING.

I THINK THERE IS MALE DNA THAT IS HARD WIRED TO PROTECT.

AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT IS BEAUTIFUL ABOUT MASCULINITY AND WHEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY AND GIVEN PERMISSION IF NOT AN INVITATION TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CONVERSATION I THINK THAT IS WHERE MAYBE THIS CONVERSATION WAS IN EFFECTIVE IN THE PAST.

>> THIS APPROACH FOCUSED ON CONNECTING WITH ATHLETES LED OPRAH MAGAZINE TO DUB JONES THE JOCK WHISPERER RETHINKING THE WAY WE TALK TO YOUNG MEN ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NECESSARY BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED INCORRECTLY BY SOCIETY.

>> WE CONSUME ON AVERAGE AS MILLENNIALS 10.3 HOURS OF MEDIA A DAY.

AND I THINK WHEN YOU BREAKDOWN THAT MEDIA AND UNDERSTAND THAT THAT MEDIA GLORIFIES VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, IT'S INHERENTLY DISRESPECTFUL AND SEXUALIZING AND OBESITIFYING OBJECTIFYING AND YOU COMBINE THAT WITH THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY, MEDIA IS PROGRAMMING OUR CHILDREN MORE SO THAN ANY SCHOOL OR PARENT YOUNG MEN ARE BEING POORLY PROGRAMMED IN THE SAME WAY THAT YOUNG WOMEN ARE BEING POORLY PROGRAMMED AND IT'S UP TO US TO EQUIP THEM WITH THE TOOLS TO PREPARE THEM FOR THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN THEIR LIVES WHERE THEY ARE IN A POSITION TO POTENTIALLY MAKE A MISTAKE.

>> I THINK WHAT SHE IS DOING IS REVOLUTIONARY.

AND ON THE OTHER HAND I'M THINKING YOU SHOW THEM A PICTURE OF HIS SISTER AND HE REALIZES I'M RAPING SOMEONE LIKE HIS SISTER.

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SHOWN A PICTURE OF HIS SISTER.

WHY IS HE NOT THINKING THAT WHEN HE SPIKES THE DRINK AT A FRAT PARTY.

>> NORMALIZING MEN'S SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND BLAMING WOMEN FOR T WHEN YOU TYPE SOMETHING -- TIE SOMETHING PERSONAL TO YOUR MOTHER OR SISTER, DRUNK DRIVING OR ANYTHING, YOU WILL HAVE A PERSONAL REACTION BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL STOP YOU FROM RAPES.

>> I'M FOR DOING IT.

THESE YOUNG MEN ARE AT THE HEIGHT OF THEIR SEXUAL PROWESS AND SIMPLY TALKING TO THEM AND PUNISHING THEM HAS NOT WORKED.

WE NEED TO DO MORE.

>> TWO THINGS WE HAVE DISCUSSED TODAY.

GO BACK TO THE CULTURE AND THE INFLUENCE THE CULTURE HAS ON PEOPLE COMMITTING THESE CRIMES.

AND IT REENFORCES THEIR BEHAVIOR.

IT DOESN'T STOP T WE HAVE TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH HOLLYWOOD WITH THE RAPPERS WITH THE PEOPLE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY AND TELL THEM YOU HAVE TO STOP IT.

YOU HAVE TO STOP IS IT.

>> I LIKE THIS IDEA OF ENCOURAGING WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT MEN.

BECAUSE I THINK THAT IN THIS CONVERSATION SO OFTEN IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH MASCULINITY IS THE THING THAT WE DO NOT LIKE.

THERE ARE A LOT OF GREAT THINGS AND MEN ARE HORRIFIED BY THIS AND THIS DRAWING UPON IT FOR THEM TO BE PART OF A SOLUTION IN THEIR LIVES AND TALKING TO THEIR FRIENDS BECAUSE THAT MATTERS, TOO.

>> REAL MEN DO NOT RAPE WOMEN OR BEAT WOMEN.

>> THEY ARE NOT REAL MEN THEY ARE COWARDS AND PIGS.

>> ALL RIGHT HAT IS IT FOR THIS EDITION.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND REAL MEN ARE MOST OF MEN IT'S THE MAJORITY WHO ARE THE PROBLEM.

TWITTER AND VISIT OUR WEBSITE, PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY AND WHETHER YOU AGREE OR THINK TO THE CONTRARY, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

TRANSCRIPT OR TO SEE AN ON-LINE VERSION OF THIS EPISODE OF TO THE CONTRARY VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY.