(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED BY... (male announcer) THE DE BRUCE COMPANIES, PROUD TO SERVE AGRICULTURAL COMMUNITIES THROUGHOUT THE MIDWEST WITH HIGH-SPEED GRAIN HANDLING FACILITIES, FERTILIZER, AND FEED INGREDIENT DISTRIBUTION TERMINALS.

(male announcer) AND BY FRED & LOU HARTWIG, GENEROUS SUPPORTERS OF KCPT AND PUBLIC TELEVISION URGING YOU TO BECOME A MEMBER TODAY.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ (Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, IS THIS THIS PLUG SHAMELESS ENOUGH?

HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY OUR VAN LOOKS DIFFERENT EVERY TIME OUT.

IT'S THANKS TO JAKE, WHO KEEPS US ON THE ROAD... [horn honking] A ROAD THAT WE KNOW WILL HAVE BUMPS AS WE WORK OUR WAY ACROSS THE SHOW-ME STATE.

BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TEN BLOCKS FROM HOME WHEN SOMETHING ON TROOST STOPS US IN OUR TRACKS.

HERE WHERE "XXX" ONCE MARKED THE SPOT, THE GROUNDS HAVE TAKEN A TURN FOR THE OBTUSE.

AND JUST ABOUT THE TIME WE'VE MADE UP ALL THE ANSWERS WE COULD, SOMEONE SHOWED UP TO EXPLAIN BIGHEAD AND SHOW US AROUND THE GARDENS BEHIND THE GATE.

UH-OH.

IS THIS YOUR PLACE?

(woman) THIS IS WHERE WE BEGAN.

WE BOUGHT THESE TWO LOTS, LIKE, TWO YEARS AGO, TO KIND OF SAFEGUARD THE SOUTH PERIMETER.

IT HAD BEEN A FLEA MARKET, AND IT HAD BEEN CLOSED FOR, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, TEN YEARS OR SOMETHING, AND JUST LEFT, WATER LEAKING AND ALL.

IT WAS REALLY HIDEOUS.

THOSE WILL BE A COMBINATION OF TOMATOES, PEAS, BEANS.

THAT WILL BE SWAN GOURDS; THIS WILL BE TOMATOES.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THE ASPARAGUS ALREADY IS PRETTY HAPPY THIS SPRING.

THESE ARE THE BLACKBERRIES, AND THEN I HAD FOUR LITTLE CORN I'D GROWN IN THE GREENHOUSE THAT NEEDED A PLACE, SO I GUESS IT'S BLACKBERRIES AND CORN.

IT USED TO BE BLACKBERRIES AND...CORN.

I KNOW, BUT NOW BLACKBERRIES AND...CORN.

(Mike) SOMEBODY HAS ACCESS TO A LOT OF BLUE BOTTLES.

(Cathryn) WELL, AT KANSAS CITY, THE RECYCLE CENTER, WE ALL PUT INTERESTING BOTTLES OR COLORED BOTTLES AWAY FROM THE BINS.

SO EVERY TIME WE GO TO THE RECYCLE, WE UNLOAD THE BOTTLES WE DON'T WANT AND LOAD... THAT'S NOT HOW THAT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK.

I KNOW.

(Mike) ARE YOU THE PALLET LADY, THEN, THE ONE WHO-- BECAUSE THAT'S--I MEAN, I LOVE THE BOTTLES AND STUFF, BUT, MAN, THOSE PALLETS; THAT'S QUITE A CONSTRUCT.

(woman) WHERE I DID WORK, WE GOT IN FREIGHT EVERY DAY ON PALLETS, WHICH-- THEY DON'T REUSE PALLETS, AND SO EVERY DAY I WOULD BRING A TRUCKLOAD HOME AND... WELL, YOU'LL FIND THAT MOST PEOPLE BUILD THEIR FENCES WITH THEIR PALLETS THIS-A-WAY, WHICH IS KIND OF LAZY.

[laughter] WE JUST-- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

(Randy) I HAVE QUESTION FOR YOU.

(Lori) YEAH, UH-OH.

O.R.?

IT'S TWO LETTERS OF A BUNCH OF LETTERS WE FOUND.

SO NOW PEOPLE STOP ALL THE TIME AND GO, "WHAT'S 'OR' MEAN?"

NOTHING.

(Randy) SO IT'S NOT REALLY OR LAND.

IT'S NOT ANY-- UH-UH.

(Mike) IT 'S CERTAIN NOT AN OR HOUSE.

IT'S BIG--OH, BAD.

NOT ANYMORE.

[laughter] I FORGOT THAT PART ABOUT YOU GUYS.

THOSE ARE CORNICES OFF OF THE-- THE ARMOR BUILDINGS, YOU KNOW, THAT THEY'RE REDOING.

(Mike) TH E ONES THAT THEY'RE REDOING-- RIGHT, THEY'RE THE GREAT BIG CORNICES.

THEY WERE GONNA THROW THEM OUT.

THIS IS THE GROVE.

IT'S KIND OF STAGING AREA RIGHT NOW TOO, BUT THE BIRDS LOVE IT.

(Randy) MORE LETTERS.

(Cathryn) OSCO DRUG STORE.

(Mike) WHERE DO THE LETTERS KEEP COMING FROM?

(Cathryn) OSCO DRUG STORE.

(Randy) IS THERE AN "N" IN "OSCO?"

(Cathryn) NO, THAT'S A "U": DRUG STORE.

OH, DRUG.

(Cathryn) YOU KNOW, OUT ON METCALF, THERE'S A CATHOLIC CHURCH THAT'S CALLED "KYRIE OF OURS."

(Randy) YES.

(Cathryn) WE COULD BE THE "KYRIE OF ORS."

NOW THAT'S RO ADSIDE REVELATIONS TALK.

I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S--COME ON; COME ON.

PEOPLE ASK US WHAT WE'RE DOING; WE SAY PIONEERING ON TROOST.

(Randy) OR PIONEERING ON TROOST.

(Cathryn) OR PIONEERING ON TROOST, WHICH OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIVE NEAR GET THAT.

IT'S--YOU REALLY DO KIND OF, LIKE, PUT THE STAKE DOWN AND JUST, YOU KNOW, GET YOUR BANDANA OUT, WIPE YOUR HEAD, AND GO TO WORK.

I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITH IT BUT THAT.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE INSANE, LOOK WHAT YOU CAN DO.

(laughter) (Don) AS UNSCHEDULED STOPS GO, THIS ONE'S BEEN GREAT.

BUT TWO HOURS INTO THE SHOOT, WE'RE TWO HOURS BEHIND ALREADY.

(Mike) YO U'RE A GOOD GIRL.

(Don) GOOD THING WE'VE ONLY GOT TO GET TO WALDO TO GET CAUGHT UP ON SOMETHING WE SAW SOME YEARS BACK.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WORLD'S ONLY MEMORIAL RESTROOM DOWN IN THE DEPTHS AT WALDO PIZZA.

IT'S A JOHN THAT'S ALL ABOUT JOEL: J. STEPHEN O'LAUGHLIN, THAT IS, A FORMER EMPLOYEE WHO HAS SINCE RETURNED.

AND WHILE HE WAS AWAY, HE DID RUN FOR MAYOR OF SAN DIEGO.

HE LOST.

WHAT'S UP GUYS?

(Randy) HE RE'S THE MAN HIMSELF, MR .-- MR.-- NICE TO MEET YOU.

63RD MOST POPULAR O'LAUGHLIN IN THE COUNTRY.

THAT'S TRUE, YES.

LIKE THE PAMPHLET SAYS, IT'S ALL TRUE.

OH, AND, YEAH, I GUESS I'M DOING THE MULLET THING TOO.

I SHOULD PROBABLY-- GUESS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THERE'S NO GUESSING.

IT'S GOOD IF I DO THE OLD WHIP-AROUND KIND OF--YEAH.

WITH THAT IN MIND, CAN WE?

(Stephen) YEAH, LET'S DO IT.

(Mike) UM, ALL RIGHT.

(Stephen) IT'S HAD A FEW MAKEOVERS.

I THINK IT'S THE ONLY MEMORIAL RESTROOM IN THE COUNTRY.

I'VE GOOGLED IT A COUPLE OF TIME, AND I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY COMPETITION YET.

(Mike) HAD YOU ALWAYS TO HAVE A MEMORIAL RESTROOM?

YES, I HAD.

NO, NO, I TAKE THAT BACK; I HADN'T.

TWO WEEKS BEFORE I LEFT, I HAD THE FLU, AND IT CAME TO ME WHEN I HAD THE FLU.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE FLU, BUT... WE HAVE PEOPLE COME IN EVERY SO OFTEN.

PEOPLE LIKE IT--I MEAN, THE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE.

FOR SOME REASON, A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THAT BECAUSE IT HAS MY NAME ON IT, I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THE UPKEEP OF THE ACTUAL TOILET AREA, BUT... HEY, LET'S PUT A LID ON THAT KIND OF TALK.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OOOH.

(Mike) QUICK, OH, BOY.. (Randy) OH , MAN.

(Stephen) THESE ARE THE ROCK-PAPER-SCISSOR GLOVES.

THESE HAVE PADS HERE, AND THEN ONE'S CALLED A GLITTEN.

THIS IS WHAT I-- IT'S A HALF GLOVE, HALF MITTEN.

YOU PUT THAT ON, AND IT'S--IT'S A GUARANTEED WIN.

[together] OOH!

OOOH, GOD.

(Don) LOOKS LIKE SANS THAT GLITTEN, JOEL'S TAKING IT ON THE CHIN, BUT HIS HAIR STAYED STELLAR, AS WAS THE PIZZA, FUELING US UP FOR THE DRIVE AHEAD NORTH TO WESTON, WITH ITS 19TH-CENTURY CHARM AND PICTURESQUE DOWNTOWN STREETS.

THOUGH TODAY AT LEAST, NO ONE SEEMS TO BE ON THEM.

MAYBE THEY'RE ALL AT O'MALLEY'S, WHERE RUMOR HAS IT THE WORLD-CLASS BIG BALL HAS RECENTLY REEMERGED (Randy) OH, MY GOD.

(Don) COLOR US CURIOUS.

(Corey) THE THINGS WE KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT IT: IT WAS BUILT BY A WESTON NATIVE, FINLEY SCOTT.

IN 1974, THIS WAS IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AS THE LARGEST BALL OF STRING MADE BY AN INDIVIDUAL.

AND IN 1976, IT CELEBRATED THE BICENTENNIAL.

(Randy) WH Y IS TWINE AND STRING NOT THE SAME THING.

I THINK TWINE WEIGHTS LESS AND IS BIGGER, SO HE COULD HAVE MADE THIS AND CAUSED HIMSELF A LOT LESS TROUBLE IF IT WAS TWINE.

(Randy) HERE'S SOMETHING TH AT'S PRETTY AMAZING ABOUT IT.

LOOK AT HOW PERFECTLY ROUND IT IS.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT HERE.

I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS-- TENS OF DOLLARS COULD BE MADE ON THIS.

(Corey) DOZENS--DOZENS OF DOLLARS.

(Randy) DOZENS OF DOLLARS ARE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU TAKE MIKE MURPHY'S MARKETING ADVICE.

EXACTLY.

(Corey) WELL, AT LEAST NOW WE CAN-- WE'VE GOT IT SO THEY CAN SEE IT.

BEFORE, IT WAS IN THE O'MALLEY'S STORAGE AREA.

[thumping] I THINK IT'S SOLID.

(Randy) PEOPLE COME HERE, AND THEY ENJOY BEING AROUND IT, RIGHT?

(Corey) OH, YEAH; THEY TOUCH IT.

SEE, YOU CAN SEE FINGER HOLES.

(Randy) OH , THOSE ARE FINGER HOLES; PE OPLE HAVE BEEN-- YEAH, THAT'S--THAT'S EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE PASTIME.

(Randy) A BUNCH OF DUTCH-- DU TCH TOURISTS, PROBABLY.

[Corey laughs] WOULD YOU CONSIDER TAKING IT IN A PARADE?

(Corey) WE COULD, AS LONG AS THE PARADE IS FROM HERE TO THE END OF THE BLOCK.

[laughter] (Randy) TH AT WOULD BE A GREAT WE EKEND EVENT IN WESTON.

ONCE A YEAR: THE BIG BALL OF STRING PARADE.

THIS IS A MARKETING IDEA.

THIS IS A MARKETING IDEA.

I'M LETTING YOU HAVE THIS FOR FREE.

FREE?

OKAY, I'M SERIOUS, AND... (Don) YOU'RE WATCHING A TV WEASEL DO WHAT HE DOES BEST... WORLD'S LARGEST BALL OF VIDEOTAPE.

(Don) PAUSING ONLY BRIEFLY TO SEE HOW OUR OWN WORLD-RECORD HOLDER STACKS UP.

KIND OF DINKY, BUT AT LEAST OURS IS STILL MOBILE.

AND SPEAKING OF WEASELS, LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE SCORED BIG.

I THINK THAT'S A WRAP.

JUST PUT THOSE BABIES IN BACK.

WELL, THE NEW DAY FINDS US IN THE HEART OF TRUMAN TERRITORY, AND HOW'S THIS FOR IRONIC?

WE'RE LOOKING FOR HAIR, NOT HARRY, AND THIS HAS TO BE IT: LEILA'S HAIR MUSEUM.

ON ONE SIDE, SHE'S GOT TRIMMERS IN TRAINING.

THE OTHER IS PACKED WITH ART MADE FROM HAIR APPARENTLY COMMON IN DAYS OR YORE, BUT NOW, NOT SO MUCH.

(Leila) AS I COLLECTED MORE AND MORE PIECES, I REALIZED THAT IS WAS MORE THAN JUST PUTTING A PICTURE TOGETHER WITH A PIECE OF HAIR.

IT WAS THE WAY THAT THEY KEPT TRACK OF THE FAMILY.

THERE'S A TOTAL OF 156 NAMES ON THIS ONE, 8 FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE CENTER, 1858.

(Mike) THIS IS HAIR FROM EACH FAMILY MEMBER?

YES.

SO WITH THE NAME IS ACTUALLY THE SPECIFIC PIECE OF HAIR.

YES.

THIS ONE OVER HERE IS THE LIVINGSTON FAMILY, THIRD SIGNER OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

I ALSO HAVE THE CHASE FAMILY.

THIS IS TEACHER IN WISCONSIN IN A ONE-ROOM SCHOOLHOUSE, AND THIS IS THE HAIR OF HER STUDENTS, MINIATURE-- (Randy) THIS IS HAIR.

YES, SIR.

(Randy) THIS IS HAIR.

EVERYTHING IN HERE IS HAIR.

I'M SORRY, I-- APPARENTLY I FORGOT WHERE I WAS, BUT THIS IS ALL HUMAN HAIR.

YES, BELONGING TO A CERTAIN MEMBER OF THE FAMILY, AND WHEN IN UNDO TH AT LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER, I'LL KNOW WHO.

(Randy) SO THESE ARE HAIR WREATHS.

THESE ARE HAIR WREATHS.

LET'S GET THE TERMINOLOGY RIGHT.

YEAH, AND THERE'S HAIR WREATHS.

(Leila) AND THEN THERE'S JEWELRY.

(Randy) HAIR JEWELRY.

MY RING WAS MADE IN 1787, AND IT WAS PAINTED WITH HAIR.

(Randy) WHEN WE SAY "PAINTED WITH HAIR"-- (Leila) THEY-- IF YOU TAKE A PIECE OF HAIR AND PUT IT IN YOUR HAND AND START CUTTING, EVENTUALLY, IT GOES TO POWDER.

THEN THEY MIXED IT WITH PAINT, AND THEY PAINTED THESE SEAMS, AND THEY WERE CALLED SEPIA.

AND THEN THEY EMBROIDERED WITH HAIR.

(Randy) OH, YEAH.

(Mike) OH , THERE IS HAIR STICKING OUT.

(Randy) OH, I GET IT; SO THEY JUST-- (Leila) THEY EMBROIDERED IT WITH HAIR.

(Mike) IS THAT REALLY ELVIS PRESLEY'S HAIR UP THERE?

(Leila) YE S, SIR.

I KNEW ELVIS' HAIRDRESSER.

(Mike) REALLY.

(Leila) YOU'LL NOTICE ALSO, I HAVE GEORGE WASHINGTON, DANIEL WEBSTER, AARON BURR, ALEXANDER HAMILTON.

(Mike) HOW WELL DOES HAIR LAST?

(Leila) FOREVER.

WHAT'S BEAUTIFUL TO ME, WHICH SOMETIMES PEOPLE WILL SAY, "THAT'S GROSS."

NOT TO ME.

IT'S THE ONLY PART OF THAT HUMAN BEING THAT'S STILL HERE.

NOW, THAT'S VERY SPECIAL.

I FEEL PRIVILEGED TO COLLECT THESE TREASURES THAT SHOULD BE ALL PUT IN ONE PLACE AND HELD FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO SEE.

AND IT WAS KIND OF A LOST ART WHEN I STARTED, AND I COULDN'T FIND THE DIRECTIONS HOW TO DO IT.

SO THAT'S WHY MY FIRST BOOK IS GOING TO BE THE DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE THE HAIR WREATHS.

(Mike) IS THERE HAIR BEING MAILED TO YOU RIGHT AND LEFT.

(Leila) YES, ALL THE TIME, MORE THAN MY PAYCHECK CAN STAND.

(Randy) DO THEY SEND IT FIRST-CLASS OR HAIR MAIL?

[laughter] I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

(Don) LEILA HAS HAD PLENTY ON HER MIND WITH BOOKS TO PUBLISH AND SOME VERY HISTORIC, SHALL WE SAY BIBLICAL HAIR, SHE'S SOON TO UNVEIL.

RARE VISION VIEWERS, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST...

I WILL HAVE A PIECE OF MARY'S HAIR IN THE MUSEUM ALONG WITH A PIECE OF THE ROPE AND A PIECE OF THE CROSS.

(Don) I'M THINKING BIGGER PARKING LOT, AND I'M THINKING WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MIKE?

[women laughing] WE MANAGED TO EXTRACT HIM FROM THIS POTENTIALLY COMPROMISING SITUATION AND RESUMED DRIVING THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.

IN THIS CASE, STATE HIGHWAY 58, HEADING FOR HOLDEN TO CHECK ON A TIP, AND HERE'S WHAT WE FOUND.

THERE IS ART.

IT'S ON A FARM, AND THOUGH IT SEEMS TO BE OPEN, THE SIGN SAYS "CLOSED."

SO THERE YOU GO; EVERYONE BACK IN THE VAN.

WE'RE OFF TO SEDALIA TO SEE FOR OURSELVES THAT THE GOOBER BURGER HAS LANDED.

DEVOTEES OF THE WORLD'S PREMIER PEANUT BUTTER BURGER-- AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE-- WERE SHOCKED TO HEAR THAT HIGHWAY IMPROVEMENTS MIGHT KILL OFF THE WHEEL.

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, THE GOOEY GOODNESS IS ALIVE AND KICKING A MILE OR SO SOUTH.

VIVA LA GOOBER, AND LET'S GO TO TIPTON.

NOW, AS LOCAL LANDMARKS GO, THE WORLD'S LARGEST EIGHT BALL IS VERY DISTINCTIVE, LEAVING ME JUST TWO THINGS TO SAY: THERE'S YOU DAMN WATER TOWER, AND LET'S PLAY SOME CATCH.

WOW, OW.

(Mike) HERE'S A TRIVIA QUESTION FOR YOU.

HOW COME THE EIGHT BALL IS ONE THAT WINS THE GAME?

(Randy) WHY, MIKE?

(Mike) I DON'T KNOW; I HAVE NO IDEA.

OH, HO, HO, HO, HO.

OOH.

(Randy) WHAT'S THIS CROP BEHIND ME?

(Don) OH, THAT'S BROME.

BROME WASN'T RAISED IN A DAY.

WHOA.

I HAD A MAGIC EIGHT BALL; YOU DID.

OH, DO I ASK HER OUT NOW?

"ASK AGAIN LATER."

(Don) ASK AGAIN LATER.

OOH, YEAH.

(Randy) I'M PLAYING PRETTY GOOD FOR A GUY WITH A GOOBER BURGER IN HIS BELLY.

(Mike) YOU'RE PLAYING PRETTY GOOD FOR A GUY STANDING OUT IN THE CHIGGERS.

OOH.

(Don) COULD BE A WARM UP FOR CRITTERS TO COME, THE ONES THAT AWAIT US AT OUR LAST STOP TODAY DOWN BY THE RIVER AT COOPER'S LANDING.

WE'LL SEE SOME SIGHTS WITH A GUIDE NAMED CATFISH.

NEED I SAY MORE?

(Randy) HEY, WHERE ARE WE, CATFISH?

(Catfish) WHERE ARE WE?

(Randy) YEAH.

WE'RE IN WHAT I LIKE TO TERM AS UPPER EASLEY.

EASLEY'S AN OLD RIVER TOWN, USED TO BE A RAILROAD TOWN.

WE'RE ON AN OLD RAILROAD TRACK HERE.

(Randy) NOW THE KATY TRAIL.

(Catfish) THIS IS THE KATY.

HEY, I THINK I SEE SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS IN THE WOODS.

UH-OH.

YEP.

(Randy) WELL, LOOKEE THERE.

THE COLLECTION.

THEY WERE SOME SWEET BOATS.

THEY ARE DEAD NOW.

(Randy) SO BOATHENGE IS ALL BOATS THAT PASSED THROUGH YOUR HANDS.

(Catfish) ALL MY BOATS, AND I STILL GOT SOME UP THERE ON THE HILL THERE.

I GOT ONE THAT ACTUALLY RUNS.

(Randy) YOU STUDIED STONEHENGE CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU PUT THESE UP?

(Catfish) WELL, WE KIND OF FIGURED IT OUT AS IT WENT: BEER, BACKHOE, AND BOATS.

(Randy) SO PEOPLE COME BY; THEY ADMIRE IT ON THE TRAIL.

IT'S BECOME A LANDMARK, NO DOUBT.

YOU GOT TO REMEMBER; I'VE GOT THE ARTISTIC TALENT OF A BRICK.

I'M TONE-DEAF, COLOR-BLIND, GOT NO RHYTHM.

IT COSTS ABOUT 35 BUCKS TO TAKE ONE OF THESE THINGS TO THE DUMP, AND IF YOU'RE EVER BURNED ONE, IT STINKS.

(Randy) UH-HUH.

AND SO YOU CAN'T BURN IT, AND IT'S EXPENSIVE TO GO TO THE DUMP, SO MAKE ART.

[laughs] IT'S A LOT CHEAPER.

(Don) NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SOMEONE'S MAKING ART ABOUT YOUR ART, LIKE THIS RENDERING OF THE HINGE DONE FOR CARL AND ANN ON WHOSE LAND IT STANDS, DONE BY COLUMBIA'S REX BANDY IN THE COLORFUL STYLE HE ALWAYS EMPLOYS.

(Rex) IN FRONT OF THE WALLS, IT LOOKED FLAT.

TO KEEP IT FROM BEING FLAT, I GOT SOME LITTLE WOOD AND PASTED IT TO IT TO MAKE THE BOATS.

SO I SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT-- THAT WE NEED TO BEAUTIFY THE WORLD.

I THINK WE GOT A LOT OF UGLINESS IN THE WORLD.

(Don) AT AGE 82, REX IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE, AND FROM ALL REPORTS, DOING WELL WITH THE LADIES, TIPS FOR WHICH HE WAS HAPPY TO SHARE.

ONE WAY OF PICKING UP WOMEN IN A SUPERMARKET... BEFORE YOU CAN WALK 20 FEET, SOME WOMAN COMES UP TO YOU... [laughs] (Don) THAT'S WELL WORTH KNOWING, BUT JUST NOW, THERE'S NO PLACE TO TRY IT.

THERE IS, HOWEVER, THAI FOOD DOWN AT THE LANDING, AND THAT'S AMAZING ENOUGH.

TOFU AND A RIVER VIEW, NO TELLING WHAT WE'LL SEE TOMORROW.

(Randy) YOU KNOW, WE'VE COVERED SOME GROUND.

AND THE RAIN STOPPED.

GAVE US A LITTLE BREAK, BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S GONNA LAST LONG.

(Randy) WHAT DO YOU SAY WE STOP IN IN MADISON, AND I GET A TRIM.

IT'S ONLY 12 MILES.

WHY NOT?

I MEAN, WE'RE-- WE'RE THIS CLOSE.

WE'RE THIS CLOSE-- ALL RIGHT, WHY WOULD WE?

[laughter] WELL, BECAUSE THERE'S A ROCK AND ROLL BARBER IN MADISON.

ALL RIGHT.

[rock guitar music] ♪ ♪ (Don) SURE ENOUGH, PAST THE POLE AT AKERS' BARBERSHOP, IT'S A ONE-OF-A-KIND COMBO DEAL: HAIRCUTS AND CHESS GAMES, MUSIC LESSONS AND INSTRUMENT REPAIR.

IT'S CHRIS AKERS' WORLD, AND WELCOME TO IT.

(Randy) THERE WAS A DAY WHEN ROCK AND ROLL AND BARBERING WERE AT THE MOST OPPOSITE EXTREMES EVER KNOWN.

(Chris) OH, YEAH, I USED TO WALK BY HERE, AND, YOU KNOW, HRAAH!

"NO WAY, MAN; I'M NOT GETTING MY HAIR CUT," BUT, YOU KNOW, ALOPECIA ARIETTA SETS IN, AND YOU'RE OUT.

LATIN: WE'RE ALL GOING BALD, MAN.

[rock guitar music] ♪ ♪ I HAD THIS GRANDFATHER THAT THOUGHT HE COULD CUT HAIR.

HE BOUGHT A SEARS AND ROEBUCK KIT, AND REALLY, IN A WAY, BECOMING A BARBER WAS KIND OF LIKE FIGHTING BACK AT HIM.

LIKE, "HOLD ON HERE; I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HAIR."

♪ ♪ BASICALLY, THIS IS A SMALL TOWN THAT'S A FEW HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND DYING, JUST LIKE A LOT OF THEM, BUT SOMEHOW WE ALL KIND OF SURVIVE.

THERE'S STILL A HIGH SCHOOL HERE.

♪ ♪ ONE OF THE BIG ROUGH THINGS WE DID HERE WAY AHEAD OF THE-- THE BIG SCENE IN COLUMBIA IS, WE WENT "NO SMOKING."

AND THAT WAS-- THAT WAS A REAL TOUGHIE, BUT THEY'RE GETTING USED TO IT.

HERE'S ONE OF THEM RIGHT HERE.

GUS, COME ON IN.

(Mike) HE Y, GUS.

HELLO.

[upbeat banjo music] ♪ ♪ (Chris) FRIENDS OF MINE ARE GOING TO BLUEGRASS FESTIVALS, AND THEY'LL STOP HERE, AND THEY'LL WANT TO DO SOME PICKING, AND YOU'VE GOT TO SET HERE AND GO LIKE THIS: "WELL, HE'LL BE DONE IN A WHILE."

[banjo music] ♪ ♪ I GOT TO DO LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS BEFORE I BECAME A BARBER, AND JACKHAMMERS AND THINGS LIKE THAT DESTROY THE HEARING AND THE HANDS AND STUFF, AND BARBERING LEANS FOR MUSICIANS, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S KIND OF NICE.

♪ ♪ YOU KNOW, I'LL NEVER FORGET GOING INTO THOSE HALLOWED HALLS OF THAT BARBER SCHOOL.

I THINK IT WAS WRITTEN IN LATIN THERE: EMCUM ET ORTUM, WHICH MEANS ONE SIDE A HELL OF A LOT LIKE THE OTHER.

♪ ♪ YOU KNOW WHAT?

THERE'S ANOTHER THING I DO FOR $10 A PIECE, WHERE I LET EVERYONE CUT THE HAIR... NO, HEY... CHILDREN'S PARTIES.

HEY, I'M IN-- (Don) THAT'S PRETTY TEMPTING, BUT FOR ONCE, WE SHOWED SOME RESTRAINT AND LET RANDY LEAVE WITH A SHRED OF HIS DIGNITY INTACT, WHICH HE PROMPTLY CHUCKED OUT AT THE VERY NEXT CHANCE, CHECKING IN TO SEE JUST WHAT'S LEFT OF A GENUINE I-70 INSTITUTION: BILL BEENY'S "ELVIS IS ALIVE MUSEUM."

(Randy and Mike) WHOA, MAN.

WHOA!

(Don) CLEARLY, IT'S GONE, BUT THE KING HAS NOT QUITE BEEN FORGOTTEN.

(Mike) WE'VE SEEN SOME THINGS REPURPOSED IN OUR DAY.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, ALL THE MUFFLER MEN FOR VARIOUS THINGS.

(Don) YEAH.

BUT ELVIS WITH THE CROSS... (Don) I THINK HIS MOM WOULD BE PROUD.

(Randy) WELL, WE WANTED TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW THINGS CHANGED.

I THINK WE'VE SHOWED THEM.

YEAH.

BACK IN THE CAR.

(Mike) BA CK IN THE CAR.

(Don) THE DRIVE TO ST. LOUIS WON'T QUITE BE THE SAME, BUT ONE THING THAT NEVER CHANGES IS THE TRAFFIC, WHICH WE WEAVE THROUGH ON OUR WAY TO THE HILL, KNOWN FOR ITS ITALIAN FLAVOR AND TO US AS THE HOME OF OUR FAVORITE DISNEY, THERESA, THAT IS, PRIVATE BY NATURE BUT HAPPY TO SEE US NONETHELESS.

HELP YOURSELVES, ENJOY.

ENJOY THE ART.

ENJOY.

[laughter] (Mike) YEAH, IT'S A SHAME THERE'S NOT MUCH OF IT TO LOOK AT REALLY.

(Theresa) WELL, EACH PIECE IS DIFFERENT.

I DO ART TO CHALLENGE MYSELF, SO TEDIUM IS NOT ME.

NO WAY.

LIKE THIS ONE: "JUST TRY TO BLEND IN.

YEAH, I TOLD YOU TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."

IT'S THE WHOLE ANGEL-DEVIL THING GOING ON.

THEY WERE JUST SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE.

[rattling] (Mike) ANOTHER OF THOSE THERESA DISNEY SIGNATURE KIND OF PIECES.

(Theresa) YES, MY GAMES.

I LOVE PLAYING GAMES.

(Mike) GIVE IT A SPIN; DO IT.

(Theresa) NO, YOU PLAY.

OH, COME THIS WAY.

OH, MY GOD.

(Theresa) MY MOTHER WAS A NUN BEFORE SHE HAD ME, SO THAT'S WHERE A LOT OF THE RELIGION STUFF COMES IN.

(Mike) DO ANGELS OR DEVILS GO-- GO FASTER ON THE MARKETPLACE?

(Theresa) I DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION.

I JUST MAKE IT, AND IT GOES AWAY.

IT'S WHAT I'M WILLING TO LET GO OF.

(Mike) THAT'S THE HARDEST PART, ISN'T IT?

(Theresa) YEAH, YEAH, IT IS.

SOME DAYS IT'S DOG DAYS, BIRD DAYS, WHATEVER DAYS.

I'M REALLY PRIVATE.

I MEAN, I'M VERY, VERY PRIVATE.

[laughs] THIS IS MY STUDIO.

(Mike) HOLY MOLY.

(Theresa) THIS ONE'S KIND OF FUN.

THIS IS AN ANGEL FOOD AND THE DEVIL FOOD CAKE.

THAT'S CALLED "DECISIONS."

AND THIS ONE'S CALLED "THE CIRCUS OF INTIMACY."

BUT IN PARIS THEY HAD THIS HUGE CHANDELIER, SO I REALLY LOVED IT, SO I SAID, "WELL--WELL, HOW CAN I MAKE A CHANDELIER?

SO I DID WITH THE BICYCLE PARTS, AND THAT MAY JUST GROW TO BE THE WHOLE CEILING; WE'LL SEE.

(Mike) AND-- AND A LOT OF THIS IS MOLDED.

IT'S--IT'S CLAY?

WHAT IS IT?

(Theresa) YEAH, IT'S CLAY; IT'S--IT'S GOO.

IT'S WHATEVER I CAN FIND.

(Mike) WOW, LOOK AT ALL THIS GREAT STUFF.

(Theresa) I'VE NEVER HAD A JOB.

IT'S ALWAYS-- IT'S ALWAYS BEEN PAINTING.

(Mike) IT'S ALWAYS BEEN PAINTING.

(Theresa) YEAH.

(Mike) GOD, YOU STARTED SO YOUNG.

(Theresa) DID YOU SEE MY LAUGHING HYENA UP THERE?

[laughter] I'M REALLY INTO THIS OUTDOOR SCULPTURE NOW THAT I'VE FILLED THE INDOORS.

I JUST--HARDLY WAIT FOR APRIL.

I'M JUST OUT HERE-- I'VE GOT THINGS DRYING AND PAINTING, AND I'VE GOT MY WOOD.

AND I'M JUST--I WAIT TILL 8:00 TO USE MY POWER SAWS-- FOR THE NEIGHBORS.

(Mike) YOU KNOW, I KEEP GETTING BACK TO THE SELL THING, WHICH OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T-- (Theresa) I DON'T CARE.

(Mike) IT DOESN'T MEAN SQUAT TO YOU.

IT DOESN'T MEAN SQUAT; I'M JUST--IT-- THAT'S WHAT'S AMAZING IS, I MAKE THIS STUFF, AND PEOPLE WANT TO BUY IT.

THAT'S JUST AMAZING.

(Don) NOT TO US.

WE'VE FOUND THE REAL MAGIC KINGDOM, AND WE'D BEST LET MISS DISNEY KEEP WORKING ON IT.

THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

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