(somber music) (Jacinda Ardern) I have now had the opportunity to be fully briefed with the details of the unprecedented events.

(sirens wailing) It is clear that this can now only be described as a terrorist attack.

♪ Many of those who will have been directly affected by this shooting may be migrants to New Zealand.

They may even be refugees here.

As-salamu alaykum.

Peace be upon you.

They have chosen to make New Zealand their home, and it is their home.

They are us.

♪ I couldn't believe my eyes.

♪ I thought that it's just fireworks or somebody was playing fireworks in the corridor.

Only when somebody shouted, "Shooting!"

then I realized that it is something serious.

(siren whoops) ♪ He is targeting me.

I said, "Oh my God, I'm going, I'm dying."

(chantlike vocalizing) ♪ (soft music) (Gamal) We thought that, and everyone thought that New Zealand is the most peaceful or one of the most peaceful places in the world, and that something terrible like this will never happen in this very beautiful society.

The majority of the Muslims are immigrants.

In this mosque, for example, we have more than 45 nationalities, and you can say that it's a small United Nations.

(rain pouring) ♪ (reporter) And you were shot nine times -in the Al Noor Mosque.

-Yeah.

(reporter) And there you were, seeing the man accused of doing that to you.

-How did that feel?

-Yeah, I'm strong--I told you.

(speaking foreign phrase) What in New Zealand, they say "Stay stronger," and we are.

Okay, thank you, guys, I need to go.

♪ Sorry to be late, 'cause I had a dental appointment.

♪ (filmmaker) Is this okay for you to do this today?

(Temel) Yeah, I'm confident.

-You're okay?

-Can be some flashbacks or something like this, but I take my medication just before I come.

Please, welcome, come in.

This is the big hall here.

(filmmaker) How many would have been here with you -in this room?

-In this room...

I don't know, maybe 100 people?

I was sitting... (grunts) ...like this here.

We heard the gunshot sounds, bang, bang, bang, and then I see the guy, terrorist, come.

(mimics gun cocking) He is targeting me.

I said, "Oh my God, I'm going, I'm dying."

Because I am the tallest, and straight from this distance.

And he's shooting inside, and I am the front of the gun.

And I see the smoke and I feel the boom.

And the turning in my jaw.

I said, "Oh my God," and starting shots.

I said, "Oh my God."

And then when I stand up like this, he's shooting, and people screaming, "Allahu akbar," which means, "Allah is great."

And I see the people just dying.

I hear the screaming, and I look at myself, bullets just coming, hitting me on my legs.

One guy from next to me is-- jumps and runs to the terrorist, trying to stop him.

It's just maybe two seconds, maybe three seconds, I don't know.

It gave me advantage and saved my life.

I ran, you know, like how much I could run.

I did it.

And then I see the people just pushing the doors in this way, trying opening the door.

I see one guy is lying down here.

And maybe I can point at-- my nephew can show, come here.

And then I did come and lie down in front of him too, because it's busy, full of people in front of me.

I have no space to go.

I see one old man jump over me too, and then I pulled him.

I don't know why I pulled him.

I tried to hide him too, or I don't know.

I think I did hide myself too.

And then, he's coming and shooting everybody, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Front of me, people just dying.

Everywhere, what I am hearing, people just...they are on their last moment, and they're praying.

And I did pray lots too.

I prayed, "Please, Allah, forgive me, whatever I did, all mistakes all my life.

If I die, please take me in your heaven."

And then I said, "I'm going to see my dad now," because he died when I was 11.

My kids are very young, too, and they are having exactly the life the same as me, and I'm dying, and they are left behind too young.

And I'm just crying, there's lot of tears in my eyes, and waiting my turn.

'Cause I feel he is behind us.

And I feel bang, bang here, and bang here, and bang here.

Oh my God.

I was waiting to die.

I feel so much pain on my arm.

And then, bang, it's another shot coming, top of me, and I feel the blood is coming all over me.

I said, "Please stop, please stop, enough!

Please."

♪ Yeah... yeah.

♪ -You okay, mate?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking.

Um... After that, it's just, you know... it's finished, it is the end.

It is the end.

But I said, "I'm thinking.

Am I dead, or am I alive?"

I never died before, so, I didn't know what dead people...

I'm sure my face is exploded too, because half of my face, I feel, is gone.

Feel like that.

My arms, so much pain.

♪ I try to be... same step like this I did myself, and then people just go over me and going down.

And then, I tried to stand up, but I can't, because of my left arm.

I said, "Help!

Please help!"

And then one guy, Abdul, he came and then helped me.

And then I stand up, like-- you know, he is like this.

He asked me, "Can you walk?"

I said, "Yeah, I can," and then I started walking like this, and he is next to me.

And when I look at all around here, I look at like this.

It's so difficult to tell, you know.

So sad.

Then I look behind, and when I see that all around is dead bodies, in that corner is all dead bodies, you know.

We sit here, and then police come.

They said, "Okay, all clear."

I said, "Look, I am shot on my face.

Is my lips and this side of face is okay?"

He said, "Yeah, you are fine, mate, you are fine, mate," and then he pulled me up again.

When we are walking out, I was thinking, that's all.

What is this going on?

New Zealand is the most safe country in the world.

Why did this happen to us?

And then I look at the whole grounds, dead people.

Then we are walking like that, you know, about them, passing them, through them.

My friends helped me to get down here, and then, where is my shoes, where is my shoes?

I'm thinking, you know, my shoes!

But he said, "Forget your shoes," and then we walk again.

They're thinking I am not heavy injured, but I am injured, you know, very heavy.

But I can manage.

This is a miracle.

It is a miracle.

Nine bullets hit me, five on my legs, and I walk out.

And then I walk, carry on to walk with my friends.

♪ It's not easy.

And I'm sure lots of people in Christchurch, especially Christchurch in New Zealand, and many New Zealanders as well, this will live in their memory.

(melancholic music) (Temel) Nine bullets hit me.

First one is in my mouth, five is on my legs-- two here and one left knee, and one right knee, and then when he is come to the second turn, shot me, fifth one, on my leg here, and then three times on my arm-- one here... one here, and one here.

So all together, nine bullets.

When the angles is coming-- you know, bullets come this way-- and then stop on my teeth, metal base teeth, you can see the gray, silvery, kind of like this.

It go in, and then sliding, and come to my back teeth, and then turn the direction down to my jaw, and then get into-- break all my jaw, too.

If that goes through my teeth straight, my head is gonna be gone.

When the dentist took X-rays, she said, "Oh my God.

You are very lucky.

It's really millimeters that saved your life."

I've been in hospitals one month.

First week was very critical.

I had a big chance to get infection and lose my arm.

Then that was, you know, so scary.

♪ (James) Some ammunitions are known as open point or hollow point ammunition, and are generally a hunting-type bullet, so they are designed to cause as much tissue injury as possible.

They're designed to take down animals easily, but when they're used in humans, it results in a huge amount of injury outside of what you'd normally expect for a gunshot wound in that area.

The bullet can enter at one place and end up in an entirely unpredictable place.

If it enters the chest, for example, some of them were entering through the chest and we found the bullet somewhere on the opposite side of the body, in a place that's not in keeping with where the line of the bullet was.

So they tend to, for want of a better term, ricochet around and in the process of that, cause injury to organs which are not normally in the path of where the bullet would go.

(somber music) ♪ (indistinct chatter, laughter) (Temel) Thank you very much.

Good message about Islam, Islam people, and who is, like, here is a Muslim.

(camera shutter snaps) ♪ This man, he sought to divide New Zealand and divide the community, but instead, we stood together as Muslim leaders.

We stood with our country, with our people, Muslim and non-Muslim, we stood together.

The prime minister, the whole country stood behind us, and we were like one body against hate and against division and disunity.

(Jacinda Ardern) Racism exists, but it is not welcome here.

An assault on the freedom of any one of us who practices their faith or religion is not welcome here.

Violence and extremism in all its forms is not welcome here.

(applause) ♪ Well, I'm in depression, so I use medications, antidepressants, and then I had a hard time just sleeping during the night, so I'm using...

I'm using sleeping tablets and some other medications.

It's gonna be long-term work with psychologists, too.

Yeah, I'm scared, kind of like this, to be by myself, staying at nighttime at home.

(birdsong) Come in and meet with my family now.

I'm gonna introduce you to Mum.

This is my mum here, come to support me.

Her name's Fatma.

-You'd come to New Zealand.

-Yeah, come to New Zealand to, uh, tell me off.

(he laughs) Because I didn't tell her the truth at the beginning after the terrorist attack.

-Really?

-We keep it secret one month, until I'm discharged from hospital, because I didn't want her very upset about me.

Because I know I'm gonna be safe second day, when I talked with doctors.

I said, first thing, "I don't want my mum hurt and I don't want her very upset, because she loves me and I'm one of the favorites."

-My nephew.

-Nephew, hello!

(Temel) Yeah, my sister.

When I was young, a child, she look after me lots, like my mother, and she's my second mother, yeah.

-So you have a strong family.

-Yeah, we are, we are.

All Muslim families and Turkish families, we are big and strong families, we always support each other.

(melancholic music) ♪ She came to Turkey with her friends, as a group.

It was kind of like a holiday romance to how we met, and we called New Zealanders and Aussies Ninja Turtles, because they're carrying all their stuff in the backpack and they look like a turtle, you know?

But we've been separated now, it's three years.

In October, it will be three years, and we had been married 15 years.

-You've got two children?

-Yes, two teenagers.

They are my blood, of course.

I'm their father, so I want to be with them.

Max, go to bed.

Bed!

Bed.

Enough.

All right, stay there.

Quiet.

This fella is a really, really loyal person.

We got him for our boys, but of course, when we separated... (chuckles) ...was left behind.

-He's your friend.

-He's my friend now.

No, actually, my son-- I call him my son.

When I came here to settle my life for my family and for my kids, first reason was very, very safe country, for everybody.

And I'm upset about what has happened to me.

I'm not angry anymore, but I'm upset.

(filmmaker) Hard to answer.

(she weeps softly) (filmmaker) It must have been hard.

♪ ♪ (Temel) Allah don't want me to die.

And I prayed, "Give me a chance to fix whatever I did, mistakes, to fix it."

It's kind of like an exam.

You want to go to university, you need to pass the exam.

I wanna go to heaven, so I need to pass the exam.

♪ "Hajj" means "travel."

Go and we ask forgiveness for traveling, journey.

So I'm very excited.

Mentally, I believe this is gonna help me lots.

And spiritually, in my soul.

(chanted prayer) ♪ (soft music) ♪ -Hi.

-Hello!

Come on in!

-Haircut.

-Yes, yes, it looks different, eh?

-You still got family here?

-Yeah, yeah, come on in, come in.

(filmmaker) Hello, nice to see you.

Hello, how are you?

Nice to see you.

-Did you get any footage?

-Yeah, I did lots of video.

Million people at the same time there.

This is holy building, Kaaba.

You go to the Kaaba seven times turning around, full turning.

Believe it or not, when I get in, I forget all my pains... La ilaha illallah!

...my joint aches.

I see, wow, I'm walking fast, I'm running!

(man) Temel is running, and I'm running after him.

(Temel) This took us seven hours.

I was exhausted inside but very happy.

Throwing the stones to the devil, and when you do that, you are killing your sin.

My flashbacks are gone there, because I'm so busy.

Not even a single flashback or image came.

I'm so excited I can't speak now.

This is a speechless and amazing feeling.

May Allah bless everyone.

I was so happy.

I have tears because I'm happy.

Not sad, I'm happy.

(chatter, laughter) (upbeat music) ♪ You're shaving that you're believing your bad things go with your hair, and it's a new start.

Here we go, this is shiny here, shiny head here.

(filmmaker) Does she like his haircut?

(laughter) (Temel) No, she's... ♪ (phone camera's shutter snaps) You are very photogenic, Mama.

Say hi.

Say hi!

-Say hi.

-Hi, hi!

(laughter) (sentimental music) ♪ (conversing in native language) ♪ (exhales deeply) (Temel) Since the incident happened, I'm the first time being by myself, so it's sad, you know?

(Gamal) I know the New Zealand mentality, the New Zealand people.

Normally, a vast majority are very beautiful people.

I called them once innocent babies who actually love and being loved by others.

The hospitality and the welcome by majority of people is strong in this country.

(upbeat music) ♪ This is Hoyts EntX building.

Nice building, and is really good opportunity for people's entertainment.

♪ (filmmaker) Why did you open a business?

(Temel) Make money.

(filmmaker chuckles) ♪ Temel, we meet-- we know him nearly 10 years, and we meet here, in Christchurch.

We become good friends.

He was a painter.

I work long hours by myself also, too, in painting.

(Kasim) He wanted to change his career, change career again.

Sitting on his ass.

(chuckles) Turkish kebabs showing the way.

I'm gonna introduce you to my business partner and my best friend in New Zealand.

His name's Kasim.

(exchanging greetings in Arabic) -So he still can't work?

-No.

He's got too many surgeries lined up.

They're still gonna fix his mouth and arm, and...

I don't know, they're always fixing something.

At the moment, I'm still handling to use my left arm.

I can't use properly, so.

But it takes time, and I need a few more surgeries for that.

Very difficult on me.

I'm supposed to be home this year, you know?

But I can't go now.

(filmmaker) Are you gonna go back to Turkey?

I'm supposed to go see my mum.

(Temel) I can't handle people the same as before, too, and it's very quickly frustrating, and then... losing temper.

I don't think I can stay more than one hour, yeah.

(filmmaker) So where were you on the Friday?

-He was working.

-I was here.

Minute I heard it happened, I shut the shop and gone.

-Gone to hospital.

-It was my day off.

I go to hospital 4:00 in the afternoon, and I found Temel, almost 11 at night.

Yeah, I couldn't find him.

I got ten years older in that five hours.

Look at my hair, this happened in that five hours.

Got, you know, somebody who was every day with him, and next... (Temel) Next day, when I opened my eyes, he was next to me, and he was full of the-- you know, he was not crying-crying, but he has tears because he is happy I'm alive.

So I can never forget that moment.

When I saw him and all of the doctors explained to us what happened, his damage from legs and arms, and...yeah.

They were very horrible times.

When I saw him, I asked him, "Am I alive?"

And he said, "Yeah, you made it, mate, you're alive."

So it is incredible, you know?

I can never forget that.

He slept next to me a week on the floor.

He is working daytime and he is coming nighttime to look after me.

When I said, "Ohhh," he said, "Wake up," boom.

I don't think he's slept, you know?

So I can never pay his-- what he did for me.

(soft music) ♪ Nice to meet you face to face.

-It's good to see you.

-Thank you for coming.

So nice to meet you face to face.

You're lovely, gosh, just a lovely slim man.

(chuckling) (Temel) Thank you.

(John Campbell) Can I ask this?

-What's this about?

-I've been four times surgery, until the fourth of June, since the incident happened.

-Six months.

-Six months.

Yeah.

You must be exhausted, Temel.

(Temel) I'm so tired.

I'm going in three months to Turkey for holiday.

(John Campbell) Are you?

You'll probably just sleep.

Probably get an all-round ticket just to sleep!

"What's Temel doing?"

"Sleeping."

(Temel) Rest, yeah.

Because Christchurch reminds me of this all the time.

All pictures, what we are seeing, we try to work out how I can handle these illustrations.

(John Campbell) They are remarkable people, and I'm not overstating it, and I'm not just saying it because they're standing beside me.

Their bravery and their dignity... (rooster crows) (uplifting music) ♪ (Temel) Morning!

Hello!

Welcome to my mother's home.

(chickens clucking) ♪ (speaking native language) (Temel) We eat with skin.

♪ (chatter, laughter) (eggs click) (laughter, chatter) (conversing in native language) (filmmaker) Are you going to translate this?

(Temel speaks native language) (filmmaker) So do you think it's a mother's cooking that makes her son better?

(Temel) My mom said (native term).

Make (native term).

(indistinct chatter) (Temel) This is Turkish map.

Istanbul.

Gallipoli.

And my hometown, Fethiye.

My dad, when he died, it was quite a big loss.

(melancholic music) I remember like yesterday, I was here and then crying, so.

I'm really missing my father.

♪ When I look at this up-- black one, black balcony?

I used to pee down.

(laughs) Naughty.

Sometimes, not all the time.

I had to start to work when I was 12.

Wintertime, go to the school; summertime, work in the fishing, or tourism industry had just become, and working in the boats as a sailorman.

My life started like that when I was 12.

Can you hear the prayer call?

Yeah.

I can tell you, all my relatives are fishermen and all sailormen, or captains.

That's why I fell in love with the water, the sea.

♪ (engine puttering) ♪ He is a fisherman all his life, and also, his father is a fisherman too, and his brothers.

-Do you know him?

-Yeah, I know him.

(conversing in native language) (filmmaker) Do people know what happened to you?

(Temel) Yeah.

So they know, they know, a lot of people know.

When I'm talking about 15th March terror attack in mosque, "Oh, yeah, I know," and they remember.

"Yes, we saw on the news," kind of like this.

"Oh, I heard about that," you know?

-The reaction like this.

-So do you mind?

-Huh?

-Do you care?

Um...yes, but there's too many people.

And I'm here to relax, I'm not here to explain to every person what happened to me.

Everything that people say, "Oh, get well soon!

What's happened to your arm?"

And I start-- I did it at the beginning-- "Do you know the terror attack in New Zealand?"

"Oh yeah, yeah," and then start questions and questions and questions, and then... and I decided I won't tell about it.

He said, "You will never die after this happened to you."

(laughter) (softly upbeat music) ♪ (filmmaker) So how long have you been here now?

(Temel) I think it's six weeks now.

I don't even count the days, because it's magical to be staying in my hometown, when you compare to Christchurch.

I love Christchurch, by the way, but, um... also, I love Fethiye.

♪ Hey!

♪ (exchanging greetings, laughter) ♪ This is all my childhood time, I'd be running and playing football, and...

So different now, so changed.

(filmmaker) So were you a mischievous little boy?

Yeah.

-I'm asking you this.

-I am.

And then, we used to swim in this pond.

My mum used to complain to me, "Are other kids the same as you?

You are so difficult and always in trouble!"

Always fight, always blood on my face or, you know.

But I'm not doing now the same as when I was young, but... -Different now.

-Yeah, different now.

Especially after the 15th of March, it's so different.

I don't wanna take a risk the same as before.

So I want just a quiet, simple, plain life.

(soft, contemplative music) ♪ (call to prayer) ♪ (lively music) ♪ ♪ (shaving brush swirls foam) (soft music) ♪ (Temel) Ow!

(water trickling) ♪ (Temel) Feel fresh.

I'm handsome again.

(chatting in native language) (birdsong) (filmmaker) Tell me how you feel these days about that guy who did that to you.

It's not easy to tell, but it's a very confused feeling about it.

I'm very angry.

Innocent people, and then, they are not here now.

These families never get them back.

Kind of like this feeling, lots of different feelings about him, you know?

(filmmaker) So there's anger.

Yes, I can tell I'm angry.

But, um...every time, I feel guilty, too.

You know, I should have maybe come up and stopped him, or something like this, jump him, or something like... Or why we didn't stop him, or why we couldn't stop him, kind of like this feeling.

(stammers) -Is that called survivor guilt?

-Survival guilt, yeah, mm-hm.

I think so.

I didn't deserve what he did.

I didn't deserve all this pain.

But of course, now we come to the religion things, Islamic things.

What I learned?

No, I shouldn't be complaining.

I should be patient.

All the pain, all the anger, all the upset and crying, all the tears, because of one reason.

This is my test, my trial, for other earths, so that's what I believe.

(upbeat music) ♪ Okay, my life these days is full of doctor appointments.

♪ (mechanized click) ♪ (doctor) So if we go back to your nerve pain, has that got better at all over the last six months?

(Temel) I believe there's less pain, when I compare to the first few months.

(dentist) Our plan is to remove the bridge and those fractured teeth, put in three implants, and the three implants will be hooked up to another bridge.

(shouting, chatter) (therapist) Relax, relax.

It's not yet ready to take that fast change of direction.

You can play, but I want you actually releasing, I want you doing a bit of stretching and stuff.

-Okay.

-And I'm serious.

(indistinct shouting) ♪ (whoosh of traffic) ♪ (Temel) Hello, brother, how are you?

Good to see you again.

Salam alaikum, how are you?

-How's it going?

-Yeah, good.

Another week completed.

(laughter) -It's Friday again.

-Yeah.

-Nearly a year.

-Yeah, nearly one year now.

He helped me to get out of the mosque.

He is my hero.

(filmmaker) Did you think at the time he was seriously wounded?

Whoo!

He was very much, very much wounded.

I mean...but he is a brave man.

If he wouldn't walk out, he would have died here, honestly.

He decided to walk out, he is very brave, honestly.

Yeah.

Other people stayed there, too much bleeding and they passed away, so.

-So he's tough.

-He is very tough.

I mean, his legs, his arms, everything shot, but honestly speaking, he is very brave.

(Temel) I can't do that without you, brother.

-I can't do it without you.

-But even your decision to walk out with me was brave of you, honestly.

Otherwise, you could have died in there... -Big chance, yeah.

-...of bleeding.

(Temel) Yeah, big chance.

-I'm sorry I... -No, no, it's okay.

Good to see you, welcome, welcome.

-How are you, good?

-Good to see you.

-I just gave up my stick.

-Oh, nice.

(man) It's very painful when I'm walking without the stick.

-Did you visit Turkey?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Did you talk with your... -Yeah, too many things going on.

(Temel) Yeah.

Mashallah, you will make equal, you know?

So you want to walk?

(indistinct remarks) (Temel) Yeah, it's good.

Friday is always, you know, emotional with me, yeah.

(exchanging greetings) (man) Did you book our flight to Turkey?

(Temel) Yeah, yeah, we need to talk about that.

(chanted prayer) ♪ (soft music) ♪ (indistinct chatter) (man) Every time I come to the message on Friday, -I've got this-- -Yes, me too.

(man) Once the praying finishes, I feel like... -it's like a little relief.

-Yes, the same.

(man) It just--it just-- it won't go away.

(man) I see myself still laying over there.

I was under the dome, laying there.

(Temel) Yeah, I was probably next to you two.

-I was just-- -It was there, right?

(Temel) You are only two, three people that-- (man) I-I know what you're saying.

You know, when you come, you've got that anxiety?

And then when it's finished, it's... (man) So before the 15th of March, we never know each other at all.

-We saw each other.

-We saw each other.

(man) We did a fair bit of smiling, but we'd never been close friends.

Like now, literally, if I saw Temel or you walking very far away, I could feel my heart drum, "I wanna come and say hi to him."

(Temel) I can't stop myself to come and see you or see you, or other friends, you know?

-How many bullets did you have?

-Three.

-Three bullets?

-Whereabouts?

In the glute, in the calf, and over the ankle.

(man) And I've got three bullets myself as well.

(Temel) Still, you can't reach me.

-We can't go close.

-Three times.

Nine bullets.

What a miracle man, what a miracle man.

(laughter) What a miracle, honestly, what a miracle.

-We are laughing!

-Yeah, exactly.

-Yeah, we make a fun... -So we can't call ourselves bulletproof, we have to call him.

(man) Bulletproof man, he's the bulletproof man.

(indistinct chatter) (pensive music) ♪ (Gamal) Very horrible time, and it is one of the... it left a scar on my life, and I will never forget it.

And it will take a long time, because that was a big crime.

So it will take years and years and years.

So now, the children, they need to actually get more chances to get education and to get engaged with the society, especially those who lost their fathers or mothers.

So they need us to be their mothers and fathers.

Because it was not only a small crime, it's a big crime.

It's a crime against humanity, all humans around the world.

Because they have seen the video.

It gave a big shock to the whole world.

♪ (bright music)