Funding for COLORES was provided in part by: New Mexico PBS Great Southwestern Arts & Education Endowment Fund, and the Nellita E. Walker Fund for KNME-TV at the Albuquerque Community Foundation New Mexico Arts, a division of the Department of Cultural Affairs and by the National Endowment for the Arts and Viewers Like You JESSICA HELEN LOPEZ SHARES HOW A SINGLE POMEGRANATE SPARKED MY HEART IS A POMEGRANATE A COLLECTION OF INTIMATE POEMS ABOUT LOVE LOSS AND FINDING HERSELF AGAIN FINDING REPRESENTATION AND COMMUNITY IN THE BLACK OPRY LIFELONG SONGWRITER, ROBERTA LEA, GAINED THE COURAGE TO PURSUE COUNTRY MUSIC ON HER OWN TERMS It's all ahead on COLORES!

A POMEGRANATE HEART >>Faith: Jessica Helen Lopez, thank you for coming back to Colores to talk about your new book, My Heart as a Pomegranate So, what was the seed of inspiration for My Heart Is a Pomegranate?

>>Lopez: A while back, I was walking my dog in my neighborhood and I ran across a tree -- a pomegranate tree, right?

And that particular season, they were really ripe and they were really red.

And so, I'm a writer who deals with a lot of imagery.

I think it's like the -- meat and potatoes of the soup.

And so, for some reason, that image, was just seared into my mind and I started contemplating it, like, in a linguistic way.

Well, so, I plucked the pomegranate and took it home, I think, later that week.

And there it sat on my desk.

And so I contemplated that image for quite a while and then began writing about the pomegranate.

And I started using all the sensory details, you know, the gelatinous seeds, the skin of the pomegranate, the way it looks like a sagrado, like a Sacred Heart and like a trumpet at the top.

And so, I was inspired by the imagery at first, but then started kind of imbibing it in a creative way, in an abstract way, and then translating it into poetic verse.

And I realized, you know, this does really represent my heart.

It -- not only the color, not only -- you know, the contents inside, but also that it fruits, it always comes back and then it maybe waxes and wanes during the off-season.

But here comes the pomegranate again.

And so, I think about love.

I think about loss.

I think about the blood and meat of the fruita, About maybe six months later, I was going through some of my old -- papers, my old records, and I found a poem that I had writ, on this napkin.

The title of the poem was My Heart is a Pomegranate So, I write the poem actually years before I was jarred by that, I was like, that story was already inside of me, just as the seeds were inside of the pomegranate, just as the seed became the pomegranate.

So, for a poet, that was pretty significant.

That means I'm listening to my voice, even when I don't think I'm listening to my voice.

>>Faith: So, what truths were -- the hardest or most necessary for you to put on the page?

>>Lopez: I wasn't quite sure in the beginning.

And that was a good thing.

>>Faith: Yeah.

>>Lopez: Because I was just -- trying to listen to myself, I think, you know, later on, I came back to the idea of -- you know, life is full of amazing things to celebrate.

There's much joy in it, but it's a very nuanced experience.

And so there's heartbreak, and there's loss.

And I think that that, too, can be quite beautiful.

It's that double edged sword.

But for me, it's catharsis if I can get it down on paper.

And so during that time, I was really coming into my own as an older -- writer, as a mom of almost adult child, at that time, I was always a single mom, but also people that I had said goodbye to throughout the years, whether they were my romantic partner, via marriages or you know, relationships like that, or a family member, or a community member that I consider a relative.

So a lot of those pieces were about me understanding -- how to say goodbye and -- how to understand the ephemeral of life, because that was really hard for me to detach.

It's not my forte, [Laughs] but I got to write through all of that and then base it in images like, you know, pomegranate or the rain or -- you know, walking my dogs out -- and smelling the petrichor of the grass.

So the senses helped me ground myself.

And then the abstract allows me to say, “oh, I feel this way.” “Oh, this is what I shall write.

>>Faith: Oh, yeah.

I felt like the poems -- felt very personal.

Very like authentic.

Tell me about the poem that you're going to be reading for us today, and you'll be doing two poems, right?

>>Lopez: Yeah.

So this piece is about a dear person who's passed away, a couple of years ago, and I never got to say, "goodbye" in a physical sense.

I wasn't able to go to the memorial and whatnot just because of the miles that separated us.

But I knew I had this need to say, "goodbye."

And the way I say things is through poetry.

So it's a tribute piece to his life and the love and generosity this person showed me in a very paternal -- in a very paternal way.

So, it's a poem about my ex-husband's father who was in a sense, a father to me too.

>>Lopez: I'm really excited to read My Heart Is a Pomegranate starts off with a Kahlil Gibran -- quote, from a piece that he wrote many years ago around the idea of the pomegranate and the seed and being inside of the pomegranate.

And in a sense, this poem put me inside of the pomegranate and I also -- got to be playful with it.

Yes, it's a poem about loss, love and loss and saying goodbye.

But I like to play around with images, and kind of break the rules of physics.

So, you know, in some of my poems, you can live inside the pomegranate.

You can become the seed of the pomegranate.

The pomegranate seeds have eyes and they can watch the world around them.

So I think in that sense, it's also like -- I had fun with the craft of it.

>>Faith: Why do you feel it's important that this very personal collection of poems is shared with the world?

>>Lopez: Oh, you know there have been so many collections of poems that have saved my life throughout the years, or individual pieces I've run across authors that totally transformed -- experiences for me when I came across their work.

Sandra Cisneros, Levi Romero, the Poet I -- Jimmy Santiago Baca -- I realized when I read their pieces that it was similar to the things that I was experiencing about the world and or oftentimes, too, that I didn't feel like I could say out loud.

But here are these these amazing, courageous writers of color.

Writing about their experiences, in lyrical ways and imagistic ways.

And they really spoke to me some of those pieces for certain, got me through some tough times.

It gave voice to the difficult experiences I was having challenges and tribulations in my life, and I still go back to them to this day.

It also sparked me to write.

Well, I can write a poem like, "that."

I can say these things that I need to talk about -- generational trauma -- the political trauma of the climate, then and now.

You know, I can -- I can write about things that are confessional in a way that I didn't think I could say as a woman, but I could do my art.

And I write now because it is my medicine for all those reasons, but also, if some body reads or hears me read a poem on an open mic and they feel too like, “Hey, that was my experience about childhood trauma or PTSD,” or racism or sexism and misogyny.

You know, “I relate to that poem.” “I want to write a poem,” or, “I want to keep coming up to this community to listen to this,” or I want to get resources, you know, about that particular situation.” I think that is a big part of also, I write and then as a writing teacher, I teach, high school and collegiate students I always see the transformative -- ways students engage poetry.

They think, “I can't do it.” “Yeah, I can't do it.” “Well, you know, I've always thought I could do it.” Then they do it, and then they share their poetry in that community.

And you just see -- you just see the magic that happens for them.

So, I mean, it's medicine.

FINDING HER VOICE >>Lea: Music has always lingered ever since I was little.

In elementary school I join orchestra.

Church was a great place to experiment as much as I want it to.

And church, as long as you're doing it for God, it doesn't matter how terrible you sound.

[Laughs] Somebody's going to clap and say, “Amen!” [Singing] >>Lea: I was looking to follow the beaten path.

You go to college, you get a job, you get married, you have kids.

And all the while, I'm always writing songs.

Once I got to my 30s, I started going to open mics where I could learn how to be on stage again.

I'd perform at these open mics and people would say “You got like a country vibe to you.” I didn't know what to do with that because I didn't see people like me doing country music.

[Singing] >>Lea: [Year] 2020 comes around.

Everyone's stuck in their house.

So, I get on Twitter and I find Mickey Guyton, a black woman doing country music through Mickey Guyton.

I find, Color Me Country , which is an Apple Radio show hosted by Rissi Palmer and engaging with Color Me Country.

I meet a woman named, Holly G.

[Singing] as a black woman and as a queer woman, she can never feel comfortable enough to go to country music concerts.

So, she started a blog called, The Black Opry and added me to the roster.

[Singing] >>Lea: Again, just like I had a space that I could grow when I was going to church, and then when I was doing open mics, now there was another space, The Black Opry, where I could be confident in who I am.

[Singing] >>Lea: I made a choice that I was going to step away from working full time, and I was going to give music a shot, and it was really the quarantine that pushed me over the edge.

It was this huge global reminder that life is short and you only have so much time here on earth.

And so in June of 2021, I said, "goodbye" to the beaten path and I said, " hello" to the jungle.

[Singing] [Ocean waves] [Phone ringing] >>Lea: Hey, hey.

>>John: How's it going?

>>Lea: Good, good.

Did you get my file?

Tempo 163?

I hate even numbered tempos, I've been working with Soul Haven studios since about 2015.

I remember sitting at the console and I'm like, “Well, I guess I should find a producer.” And John is like, “You're the producer.” [Piano] >>Lea: I have the vision for the music in my head, and I make the executive decisions to get it done.

Maybe some slide, do you have a slide?

>>John: Nah uh.

>>Lea: What?

Why not?

That's the whole fun of it.

We're here to be creative.

This isn't a job.

Technically it is, but -- Having a spirit of collaboration and a spirit of fun.

That's what's really making this record special.

[Singing] >>Lea: We were in Philly for a 4th of July picnic, and Papa was a Rolling Stone came on and I was just like, "man, that sounds like it could be a really dope folk song."

[Singing] I started strumming it and fashioning the lyrics in a new way that fit this folk tale.

[Singing] >>Lea: You're stepping into dangerous territory, right?

Touching a classic like that.

[Singing] >>Lea: So, it's got to be done right.

[Singing] >>Lea: It's an exciting way to invite communities that probably wouldn't have considered country music before.

[Singing] >>Lea: To see how one of their favorite songs could be shared in a different light and that it fits -- just as well.

[Singing] >>Lea: Zeiders American Dream Theater is a pillar in the community as far as cultivating the arts.

>>Lea: They created this program with children who have interest in learning and enjoying music and creating from that perspective.

[Student singing] >>Lea: It was something that I could have used when I was their age.

[Student singing] >>Lea: Okay!

For a kid like a mirror who is extremely talented, the process is taking what they have.

And, “do all your words fit into this rhythm?” [Student singing] >>Lea: It's really just helping them take a step back from their initial draft and learning how to carve it so that it communicates their point clearly.

[Singing together] >>Lea: Hey!

That's it, we got it.

Boom!

[Crowd applause] [Singing] >>Lea: I've always been confident in myself and my ability, especially as a songwriter.

But you want to grow and flourish.

[Singing] >>Lea: When I'm in spaces like the -- Writer's Round at the Big Pink I'm free to be me.

[Singing] >>Lea: The punch line, "If I'm too much of a woman, you're too little of a man."

came to me and I drew from all the previous experiences that I've had when I felt the need to shrink myself in order to make other people feel comfortable.

[Singing] >>Lea: When I wrote the song, I teamed up with all women musicians from across the United States [Singing] >>Lea: Some of us never even met in person, but -- we came together to create this song that would speak to women.

[Singing] >>Lea: When we shot the music video, I reached out to Alicia Hymes, [Singing] >>Lea: She took up boxing because after surviving Domestic Violence, she never wanted to feel like she was defenseless again.

[Singing] >>Lea: I said that's it.

That's the vision right there.

[Singing] >>Lea: I told CMT, I got this music video already.

Can we do a rollout on it?

And they're like, “we got you.” We're gonna put it -- on National television and in Times Square [Cheering] >>Lea: To see the range -- of people involved and how far it got.

I couldn't ask for a better outcome.

[Singing] [Crowding applause] [Singing] >>Lea: I would definitely say, that 2023 has been the payoff.

[Singing] >>Lea: This natural order keeps unfolding.

[Singing] >>Lea: The Year kicked off with being inducted into CMT's Next Women of Country.

To my first red carpet -- People Magazine -- >>Lea: And then my very first solo set -- in Nashville.

[Singing] >>Lea: That venue, The Basement, is historic [Singing] >>Lea: Just to see -- the amount of support, was a very reassuring moment [Singing] >>Lea: It's mind-blowing to think that this is still technically the beginning of the journey [Singing] >>Lea: It's not necessarily that these are steps that are getting me closer to the dream -- [on stage] and I am Roberta Lea >>Lea: I feel like these steps are the dream.

[Crowd applause] The award winning Arts and Culture series, Colores is now available on the PBS app, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and at NMPBS.org.

From classic episodes to brand new shows, COLORES is everywhere!

Watch now on your favorite NMPBS platforms Funding for COLORES was provided in part by: New Mexico PBS Great Southwestern Arts & Education Endowment Fund, and the Nellita E. Walker Fund for KNME-TV at the Albuquerque Community Foundation New Mexico Arts, a division of the Department of Cultural Affairs and by the National Endowment for the Arts and Viewers Like You