Woman 1: My name is Nancy Benjamin, and I have been a caregiver most of my life.

My husband got sick and then all of a sudden here I am taking care of him on a constant basis.

My life's on the back burner.

My life doesn't matter.

If I can't get the self-empowerment that I need, then I'm just going to continue to feel more resentful of my husband, and that's not what I want.

I think family history can help me discover empowering stories of my ancestors so I can find the courage to carry out my own dreams.

My name is Nancy Benjamin, and this is my Generations Project.

♪♪ [whoosh] [indistinct PA announcements] John F. Kennedy: Let the word go forth from this time and place that the torch has been passed to a new generation.

PJ: I really never thought that finding out about your ancestry could change you the way it's changed me.

♪♪ [old projector running] Nancy: My name is Nancy Benjamin, and I have been a caregiver most of my life.

When I got married, my husband got sick, and then all of a sudden, here I am taking care of him on a constant basis.

Not just taking care of him, I'm his caregiver.

Being a caregiver is a big responsibility.

My life's on the back burner.

My life doesn't matter.

Husband: She makes my meals.

She takes uh, care of all my doctor's appointments.

She takes care of ordering all my medications that I need.

She does all the laundry.

And she takes care of all of our bills.

Nancy: I really thought it was going to be better.

I didn't think we'd ever end up sitting in a trailer.

As long as my husband's okay right now, then I'm, I'm okay.

He's my priority.

And someday maybe I'll be a little priority.

♪♪ The most important thing that I have to do is to take care of him and make sure that he has everything he needs and he wants, and, and some of the things that I want will never happen.

I don't wanna put her out of her way as, as far as what she needs to do and be doing for herself.

Nancy: I really wanna join a bowling league.

Yeah, I just can't see how that would happen with all the different things that I'm required to do to help him with.

I'm just having a terrible time getting the gumption to go forward, and I know I need to go forward.

What impedes me of finding any time for myself or pursuing any dreams that I have is guilt.

It's like, that's my duty and I've got to be there, and I've got to do it.

I think family history can help me discover empowering stories of my ancestors so I can find the courage to carry out my own dreams.

The thought of, of leaving him to go on this journey brings up those feelings of guilt again.

I need to gain the strength from my ancestors through the things that they went through.

My name is Nancy Benjamin, and this is my Generations Project.

♪♪ Ever since I retired, I've been doing some amateur genealogy work, and I do have a pedigree chart.

[paper rustling] [silence] My father was Kenneth Geary.

So as I'm filling out my pedigree chart and all, I'm, I'm looking at the censuses, and I find out my father was born Kenneth Simmons.

Yeah, I was born a Geary, but I was a Simmons.

So right away, I realize I should be looking for my grandfather, Marvin.

I'd heard his name over the years, but I really didn't know anything about him.

I knew that he left Kansas City and went to Oklahoma City.

That's all I ever heard.

I wanna find him because I just, I just feel, I feel close to him.

If he had the courage to go off and do what he wanted to do and pursue his dreams, maybe that'll give me some more courage to go ahead and pursue mine.

I think where it all began is in Kansas.

I think if, if I could go there, you know, and try to find out these stories about him, that would be the place it is, is in Kansas.

That's where it all started.

I'm very excited about this journey.

I'm so thankful that you're so supportive, you know, and that you can, you know, make do while I'm gone.

I know it's going to be hard for you.

What do they say?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Buzz: Okay.

- I know you'll be okay, and we're just-- I'm just a phone call away.

- Love you.

- I love you too, sweetie.

♪♪ So I'm on my way to meet Rebecca Christensen, who is um, a family researcher, genealogist, and hopefully she can help me fill in some of these gaps and know what happened to him and, and hear stories about him.

That would be, that would be wonderful.

Hi Rebecca, nice to meet you.

- Rebecca Christensen.

It's nice to meet you, too.

♪♪ One of the first things that we found when we started researching your grandparents w-- is that we found their marriage record.

They were married in here in Wyandotte County, Kansas, in March of 1907.

Seeing both of their names on here and seeing that they really were married, it's something that was contrary to that all my life.

Rebecca: And just, just a few years later, Annetta did file for divorce from Marvin.

Nancy: I wonder why.

Rebecca: Well, I've got a copy of their divorce decree here.

Nancy: [gasps] Wanna read about that?

Nancy: "The court finds that the defendant, "disregarding his marital vows "and obligations, "has been guilty of gross neglect of duty and extreme cruelty towards the plaintiff."

[gasps] "The court finds the plaintiff is entitled to a divorce from the defendant."

This just makes me wonder more what Grandma went through.

Rebecca: We found another document.

This is um, showing her as Nettie, as Nettie Simmons.

Nancy: Mm-hmm.

- Um, this is 1920 here in Rosedale in the Kansas City area.

And she was living with her mother, and her mother owned her own house.

Ida owned her own house, and she ran her own confectionery business.

And it's my understanding that later, um, Nettie owned that business.

- Yes.

Rebecca: It looks like a family of strong women there.

- Yes.

- That despite the challenges, they p-persevered.

Nancy: All my expectations were that I was gonna find all these wonderful things out about my grandfather.

The grandfather I'd never known, and everybody tried to hide from me.

And then finding out that he was not anything as what I expected him to be is so disappointing.

As far as the feelings that I have for him now, he wasn't good to my grandmother and my father.

You know, I, I-- right now, I just don't even care anymore if I find out any more about him.

And I can see now why nobody talked about him, you know, because he just wasn't worth talking about.

I would love to go and see that house that great-grandma owned.

That was a shop.

I would love to go see that house that my grandmother started a business in.

[phone ringing] Buzz: [over phone] Hello!

- Hello, how are you?

[clears throat] Buzz: Okay.

You sound far away.

- Uh, I think I am far away.

[laughs] Buzz: [laughing] Nancy: So how are you doing?

Buzz: Oh, just fine.

I went in and I, I put gas in the truck.

I went to the grocery store, got a few things there.

Nancy: [clears throat] All right.

Well, I just wanted to call and see how you were doing.

Buzz: Okay, sweetheart.

I love you.

Nancy: Love you, bye-bye.

Buzz: Bye-bye.

- See, he's just fine.

I, I'm flabbergasted.

This is that house that great-grandma owned.

That was a shop.

I'd love to go inside, but I don't know who li-- or if anybody lives here or anything about it.

♪♪ Man 2: I have the phone number for the owner if you want it.

Nancy: Oh, you do?

Oh, that would be great.

Man 3: [over phone] Hello.

Nancy: Hello, Mr. Ward?

Mr. Ward: Yes.

Nancy: Your property, my great-grandmother owned it and had a confectionery store in it, and uh-- Mr. Ward: Uh-huh.

Nancy: I was just wondering, could we go in and film a little?

Mr. Ward: My son might be around there.

Nancy: John, I called your dad, and he said if by any means, you could let us in to do a little bit of filming.

John: Yeah.

♪♪ John: So, this is it.

Nancy: Okay, thank you.

- Yep.

Nancy: This is where they lived.

This is where they laughed.

This is where they cried.

This is where they experienced everything.

Grandma had a big, big, beautiful chest of drawers over there, and there was a little bed over there.

See, I can see right here the bed was in that table in that corner right there, and her chair was in front of it.

It just warms my heart to come in and experience where, where they were.

This is where my daddy was standing on the side of the step, and Grandma was standing right over here in this very picture.

I-- Just to be here, it's so overwhelming.

I loved 'em so much.

[sniffing] This journey's wonderful.

I'm so happy.

I don't know why am I crying then if I'm so happy, but it just means so much.

[breathing shakily] I think from, from here I'd like to go to the cemetery.

Great-grandma, I wanted to come here and thank you for being such a strong woman and carrying through with your dreams.

And having your business and having a successful marriage and having a beautiful daughter, my grandma.

After finding out what strong women these were, you know, it's got to place g-- all kinds of questions in my mind about where did they get the strength from.

I know that my great-great-grandmother came from Germany.

Um, they must have come in through the harbor in New York.

Maybe the records are there that they came through.

I'm going to be emailing Brad, a genealogist I found, to see if he'll meet with me to talk about my German ancestry, since he specializes in that.

♪♪ Hi, Brad.

I'm really happy that you could find the time to come and talk to me.

The only thing that I have about my great-great-grandparents, Edward and um, Mary, is this picture.

I know no more except that they, they were in Kansas.

Brad: Okay.

Nancy: Somehow, they got from Germany to Kansas.

Your grandmother, Mary Schmidt, she actually has a very common name.

- Yes.

- It's like the name Mary Smith in America.

So at this time, we weren't able to find anything, but I actually was able to find some really interesting things about her husband, who is your great-great-grandfather-- Nancy: Yes.

Brad: Edward Gerner.

He came from a town-- Nancy: Mm-hmm.

Brad: called Unterschuft.

Now, in America, we know your grandfather as Edward Gerner.

Now, in Unterschuft, he was actually known as Philip Eberhard Gerner.

So that is actually his, his true name.

But Eberhard is an unusual name for most Americans to say, and it doesn't translate very well to English.

So in America, he was simply known as Edward Gerner.

Philip Eberhard Gerner was not just a miller's son.

He was a pretty extraordinary person.

Read this section here.

- "Philip was con--" [gasps] "convicted of high treason.

My name's Nancy Benjamin.

I want to be self-empowered, but as a lifelong caregiver, I don't know how to follow through with my own personal goals.

Brad: Your great-great-grandfather, he was a pretty extraordinary person.

♪♪ Philip Eberhard Gerner was not just a miller's son.

He was a revolutionary in the revolution in Baden in 1848.

- Oh, my goodness.

Brad: He fought to help other people have a better life.

Nancy: Oh, more like-- - So the peasants, the peasants who were working the land-- Nancy: Mm-hmm.

- he helped them to try to make a better life, to be able to work their own land and be able to make a profit.

So he was a pretty extraordinary person.

This talks about your great-great-grandfather.

"As a capable "and locally well-traveled young miller, "Philip, a.k.a.

Edward, had become "more than passively invested in the ideas of freedom.

"In the end, he became "one of the significant ringleaders "in the political happenings of 1849, "the Baden Revolution.

"After the revolution was put down "by the Baden and Prussian militaries "in Mannheim, Germany, Philip was con--" [gasps] "convicted for participation in acts of high treason "in May and June of the year 1849 "and was sentenced to three years in jail or two years of solitary confinement."

Brad: Yeah, he-- - High treason?

- He was convicted for standing up for the rights of not only him and his family, but everyone around him, all of the working class.

- Common people.

- The common people.

He came to America to actually escape his sentence.

Now, if you want to find out when, when and where he came into this country, you can actually do some searching with the Castle Garden or Castle Clinton records.

♪♪ ♪♪ Man 4: This was the first immigration station before Ellis Island.

From 1855 to 1890, over 8 million immigrants came through here.

When it was coming over, it took about 30 or 40 days to get here.

And then when it got here, they didn't speak any English.

And a lot of residents did not accept them because they feel like they was going to take all the jobs away from them.

Nancy: Oh.

Jimmy: So they were really lost.

♪♪ During that time, New York was really known for the immigrant German, and they had a little place called Little Germany.

Nancy: Oh.

♪♪ Man 5: The German population, the immigrants who came to New York City, by the 1850s, they would have called this land where we are right now, East Village, Kleine Deutschland, or Little Germany.

Nancy: So somebody getting off the ship, say in 1852, would have made their way to the German part of the city.

Stephen: Yes.

So it would have been a pretty tough place uh, to live, conditions-wise.

Germans had it a little better than the average immigrant.

Uh, the typical tenement building for a working class or poor immigrant, Germans included, would have been a 250 square foot, two-room apartment.

Your kitchen would be uh, with a stove.

Uh, people would be sleeping in the kitchen uh, for the most part.

You would have no plumbing, no running water.

You would have uh, latrines in the backyard, which, if you were lucky, they were cleaned occasionally.

But most likely you would be sharing that flat with either someone in your own family, 'cause you most likely came because a friend, a cousin, an uncle uh, established themselves in New York, and you would move into their apartment.

And that was a typical experience, especially in the 1850s, uh, when your family member would have been here.

- Well, my, my great-great grandfather came here under cir-- under different circumstances.

He had been indicted in Germany for high treason.

And so when he got here, most likely, he didn't know anybody.

Stephen: Little Germany was also the home for exiled intellectuals, which, I would assume, is probably your family member.

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- All right.

Good, good.

Stephen: Little Germany had probably close to 100,000 people.

I mean, it changes over time.

By the 1850s, it's not quite at its peak, but it, it is an established German neighborhood.

And it stretches, um, I would say, probably about two square miles.

Yeah.

Nancy: He was able to reformulate all of his dreams and, and-- and make more dreams, you know, and gain-- and regain his, his uh, self-empowerment, and that's what I wanna do.

And, and I want to pull from his spirit and the things that he did to help me find the courage to do these things that I want to do.

I have a lot to live up to.

I mean, my family, I mean, my great-great-grandfather, his family, my great-grandmother, my grandmother, all of them were so courageous and, and followed their dreams.

There should be no reason why I can't do that.

And as we progress on this journey, I'm finding out that I'm having more self-esteem because I'm discovering these empowering stories that I set out to find in the first place.

[phone ringing] Buzz: [over phone] Hello.

- Hello there, how are you?

Buzz: Okay.

- Are you eating okay?

Have you-- Are you making sure that you're having the food you need?

Buzz: Yes, I am, yep.

And you're, you're doing your shots okay?

Buzz: ...fat and sassy as ever, and I'm doing my shots on time-- - Time.

Buzz: Yeah.

- How's your blood sugar been?

Buzz: Blood sugar's still been hanging around 190.

Nancy: Oh.

Buzz: I don't know what the deal is.

Nancy: Well, you might feel a little anxious.

You know, sometimes emotions bring your blood sugar up, too.

Buzz: That's true.

That's true.

- Well, I just wanted to check that you were doing okay, you know?

Buzz: I'm just fine.

- And that you're getting the meals you need, and that you miss me lots.

Buzz: Oh, I do miss you something terrible.

Nancy: [chuckling] I miss you too, sweetie.

Buzz: Not that I don't need you here, but I need you here.

- Okay, sweetheart, I love-- Buzz: I love you, hon.

- I love you too, honey, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Buzz: Okay.

Okay, bye-bye.

Nancy: Bye.

Oh, well.

He's, he's making it without me.

I, I should be happy.

It makes me not feel needed.

It's important for me to feel needed, but it's good that he can handle it on his own.

It really is.

I think I've always been a person that wanted to be in control, even when it comes to my husband.

Maybe I shouldn't have-- have kind of overpowered the whole situation.

Maybe I need to step down a little bit and uh, sit back and enjoy life a little bit more.

Brad mentioned that he was still doing research.

You know, now if he has found anything, that would be wonderful for me to find out about.

Well, you called and, and I assume by calling, you might have found some more information for me.

Brad: I have found you a document I'd like you to take a look at.

And this is a bounty land claim with the government in 1858 for your ancestor, Edward Gerner, who applied to get some of this land right at the beginning when it was first opening up.

Nancy: 160 acres.

- So it was a pretty large section of land.

This is a typical size for somebody getting bounty land.

So, he settled in Kansas, and he lived there for several years.

And in 1862, he married your ancestor, Mary Schmidt.

Now, as you know, your ancestor, Edward Gerner, served in the Civil War.

So not only did he get land and begin to be prosperous, but he still fought for freedoms, even after he was already successful in Kansas.

And I have his enlistment papers for you-- - Oh!

Brad: where it shows him, it says, "I, Edward Gerner, born in Baden, in the state of Germany."

He's age 42 years, and he is now a farmer.

Nancy: Farmer, yes.

Brad: And it shows that he joined... Nancy: Volunteered the 23rd day of July in 1864.

I just can't thank you enough for finding all this information.

♪♪ I think self-empowerment does run in my blood.

After finding out about my ancestors, especially my great-great-grandfather.

So it only makes sense that the next couple of generations down, we're gonna have that same self-empowerment.

You just have to find it within you.

You know, I went looking for it, and I had it, I just needed to bring it out of me.

♪♪ It's so nice to know I'm in Texas right now.

I'm definitely relinquishing a lot of the jobs that I was doing for my husband because it seems that he can do them himself.

I guess I do feel self-empowered.

I really do.

You know, and it's a good feeling.

♪♪ Are you there?

♪♪ Oh, look, he got me flowers.

[paper rustling] "First time I saw you, I somehow knew "you'd be important in my life.

"And when we joined our li-lives, "things were every bit as good as I'd hoped.

"Not only are you the woman of my dreams, "but you're also my best friend.

[emotionally] "And as time passes, "I fall more deeply in love with you.

"Happy birthday.

I love you, Buzz."

Mmm.

Buzz: Welcome home.

[chuckling] Nancy: Thank you, sweetheart.

That's wonderful.

Oh-- Buzz: Ah.

Nancy: I'm so glad to be home.

Buzz: [chuckles] - You know, I had expectations of, of this journey, you know, and I knew that there were things in my life I, I, I wanted to change, and I think you felt the same way.

I would like to not feel guilt or feel put upon when we're doing things together and if you need help.

I, I would like to be in a bowling league.

I would like to feel like I could leave you once a week, maybe in the middle of the day or in the evening, and not, and not feel that guilt.

What do you think?

- I think that's a good idea.

- Oh, I'm very excited.

I knew I was being positive for a reason.

- [laughs] Nancy: Oh, I feel so, I feel relieved.

I feel very happy.

And now with the support of my husband, I, there just isn't anything he and I can't do.

That feeling of guilt is gone.

I, I was holding myself back.

There was no reason for that.

I have felt like I didn't really have an identity.

That was part of it.

And not feeling self-assured in anything I did.

I think that's why the guilt was such a, a thing with me.

Was I doing a good enough job?

You know, Oh dear, what didn't I do that I should have done?

You know?

I was lost.

I was lost and I didn't know how to follow through with my own personal goals.

But by learning how my ancestors followed through with their own personal goals, seeing the steps they made and seeing the direction they were going and all the, all the things that they went through to get there, I now have the tools to be able to accomplish my dreams and my goals.

I couldn't have done it before, but now I can.

♪♪