[INSPRATIONAL MUSIC STING] (phone dialing) (somber music) - [Operator] 9-1-1, where is your emergency?

- It was a new school, lockers.

Was supposed to have all the elements of a fresh start.

There are no words to describe a child laying in a casket that's yours.

- You were just watching some video from the movie, Mallory.

And we are honored to be joined by Dianne Grossman, co-founder of Mallory's Army.

Good to see you, Dianne.

- Thanks for having me, Steve.

- We've spoken before, through the Healthcare Foundation of New Jersey, talking about a whole range of issues but tell folks about your 12 year old daughter, Mallory, whose legacy lives on in the work that you and your colleagues are doing.

- Yeah, so you know, I started sharing Mallory's story.

She's just an average, every day, all-American little girl.

She loved making crafts, she was outgoing, she was a cheerleader, she was a gymnast.

So, you know, we always referred to her as just the everyday, all-American little girl and one of the reasons we decided to speak out is that, we wanted people to understand that every child could be a victim to what Mallory experienced at school and online.

- You know, I remember when we talked, Dianne, I asked you what, if any, signs did you see?

Because obviously, parents right now are, while respect and appreciate the work that you're doing and taking this horrible tragedy and turning it into something meaningful and positive, what, if anything, did you see?

- So obviously, hindsight is a really unfair and, you know.

But look at it, you know what's really tough and it's very confusing, and I would share this to parents is that, every day experiences like puberty, those were some of the things that we saw that could be identified as characteristics for self-harm.

So, it's kind of difficult.

In hindsight, I started to see, she did quit gymnastics.

She started to stop doing the things that she loved.

Her lunchbox came home full.

So, you know, she would say things, "Well, I wasn't hungry," when the truth is, is that she was sitting in the library alone.

We did see her grades plummet.

And by plummet, she was normally like an 80, 90 grade student and she got a 60 in science, which was so out of the norm.

So, you know, we had a meeting with the teachers and they thought that maybe she was having comprehension issues, when it turns out, obviously, she was being picked on and bullied by her peers.

- Dianne, talk to folks about the, we'll put up the website as we speak, again, of Mallory's Army.

What are you, what are you and your colleagues looking to do?

- So, I think Mallory's Army is, it's a, it's a flowing organization.

Meaning that we are trying to adapt as the need comes into play, and I say that because of COVID.

You know, Mallory died in 2017, and when we started Mallory's Army, it was an organization that went to schools and gave an incredible school presentation talking to parents, talking to teachers, talking about the culture of the school, talking about the blue band and the Ivy League case study.

The film came out to, again, give more information, introduce the world to our family, so that everyone could see that it's a normal, everyday family.

And so Mallory's Army is once again in a state of evolution.

We look to be converting a lot of our school presentations to electronic platforms so that this can be a one-to-one style teaching in the classroom.

I don't wanna use the word curriculum-based, because it's more of gonna be a cultural change based program that can be licensed and leased into the schools so that we can have a much larger reach than just a school presentation.

- So, you know, as you listen to Dianne, you look at the website for Mallory's Army, let's put the suicide among young people in context.

The US suicide rate among 15 to 24 year olds grew by 7% in 2021.

The pandemic has clearly had a tremendous impact on teen and younger people.

Teens and younger people, in terms of anxiety, depression, and greater likelihood of suicide.

For those of us parents who somehow told ourselves don't talk about suicide, don't bring up the issue or the topic of suicide, because obviously, you may be promoting the idea or bringing up the idea that may or not be there.

I've talked to mental health professionals who say that's not true.

You say- - Correct.

Yeah, so I do say that, and here's the thing.

I say parents and school administrations, teachers, guidance counselors, everyone should be talking about this epidemic.

And the reason for that is, the kids are talking about it.

So, who do you want leading the conversations?

Do you want the professionals who can teach children how to navigate through suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, or do you want the fifth graders on the playground leading the conversation?

- Or on social media.

- Right, right.

- Let's talk about the social media part of the discussion about suicide and also, the horrible things young people say to each other about hurting?

Go ahead and pick it up from there, I'm sorry.

- Yeah, that's okay.

No, you're exactly it.

So, who's leading the conversation?

You know, it's so quickly for a child, and I say child, I'm talking a teen or a tween, to decide that they wanna have healthy eating habits, right?

And so, they Google or search healthy eating habits and before you know it, like you and I do, we're five clicks in and all of a sudden, she's in a chat room with people who are teaching her about bulimia and anorexia, right?

So it's not just about, it's about self-harm and it's not just about suicide or, it, the social media component gives our children access to content they're just not mature enough to navigate.

And so we, as adults, and the professionals, and mental health community, we should be leading the conversation.

The thoughts are already there.

Let's engage with our children and let them understand that, in all understanding, the thoughts are normal.

It's what you do with those thoughts that really matter.

- Dianne, I remember when I, when I interviewed you at the Healthcare Foundation, we talked about a lot of things but I did not ask you this and I wanna ask you this now, and if you don't want to answer, that's your prerogative.

I respect that.

What have you taken from this, personally?

This experience since Mallory's tragic death.

The work that you're doing, what have you taken from that?

- Oh, first of all, 80% of the population is amazing.

That's what I say, is that the only coverage that really gets news coverage is the 20% that are just angry, mean, hateful people.

So, but when I talk to people like you, and all the other reporters, and people who share Mallory's story, overall we're a great community.

We're a great group of people who are just trying to make the world a nicer place.

I think our school systems are broken.

They are just so fractured.

I think it's the administration against the teachers, the teachers against the administration, the parents want a right fight.

I think that our public school system is in crisis and it's broken.

And we, as a community, throw money at problems, right?

Like, we think that we can just throw money at it.

I've also learned that I have an incredible group of friends, I have an incredible family, and I do cherish life a lot more than I think I did prior to losing Mallory.

So, I definitely have a better outlook on life and where I spend my time.

And I can tell you right now, personally and professionally, the last place I wanna spend my time is in apps, right?

And I think that we should be teaching that to our children, that there is a life worth living and it's, we need to put the word "human connection" back into humanity.

We need to stop calling it social media and call it isolation media, because all it does is isolate us from real relationships, real opportunities.

And I think that we need to remove schools systems, remove social media from that, stop leaning on it to solve our problems, and really get back to some of the basics.

- Thank you, Dianne.

That's Dianne Grossman, co-founder of Mallory's Army.

You're making a difference, a big difference.

- Thanks Steve.

- Thank you Dianne.

All the best.

- Thanks.

- We'll be right back.

- [Narrator] State of Affairs with Steve Adubato Is a production of the Caucus Educational Corporation.

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