[upbeat pop music] >>I'm Darryl Owens.

Welcome to a World of Difference: Embracing Neurodiversity.

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

You are having a perfect day with your child and then you ask him to do something or to stop doing something, and the next thing you know, you're confronting a Chernobyl Meltdown.

Or your plan to spend the day at the park gets scuttled, and your child throws the granddaddy of temper tantrums.

It's not unusual for kids to lose it from time to time, but such outbursts can be commonplace for children with learning and attention issues because neurodivergent children often struggle to own their emotions.

Fortunately, there are strategies that can help parents help their neurodivergent children from kindergarten to college develop what is known as emotional self-regulation, and better manage situations when they are stressed, anxious, annoyed, and frustrated.

On this episode, we visit a Virginia program that equips children with learning and attention differences with the social skills they need to regulate and recognize their emotions and succeed alongside their peers.

Next, our panel of experts provides strategies and solutions for helping children of all ages better control their feelings.

Later you'll meet our latest difference maker.

A serial entrepreneur who believes his long string of learning and attention issues are sort of an angel investor in his runaway success.

First, Lucy Cora Nazario, like most mothers, wants the best and brightest future for her son, a future full of friendships, relationships, and connection.

But when he was diagnosed with autism, she realized those relationships might not naturally happen without her help.

Her solution, turn children like him who learn and think differently into social butterflies, or at least that is the premise of the Social Butterfly School, a program to improve the quality of life for neurodivergent children.

Chief correspondent Cindy Peterson brings us the story.

[upbeat pop music] >>We visited the Social Butterfly Learning Center in Leesburg, Virginia, where a team of educators are on a mission to empower kids, especially those with autism with social behavior and executive functioning skills through their afterschool and in-home programs.

>>So what Social Butterfly Learning Center does for students is really target that social reciprocity, layman's term social skills, but social reciprocity, social behavior, and executive functioning skills.

A lot of our students with autism, main diagnosis of course, and developmental disabilities, those are the areas of deficit and they need to receive explicit instruction.

We wanted to do it in a group setting to make it more naturalistic and give a lot of opportunities for practicing back and forth and enhancing their skills.

>>Kids with learning differences tend to have difficulty in expressing and interpreting emotions, making socializing a skill that needs to be taught and practiced.

But each student is different.

That's why the Learning Center focuses on each individual's needs and works with them in the areas they need most.

>>So one of the things that happens to students with autism when you look at the DSM V definition is definitely the social aspect, communication, and then irregular patterns of behavior.

So basically your frontal lobe is impacted also.

So they need this explicit instruction and experiences to learn the skills, so we systematically teach 'em by explicitly working on it on a regular basis, and then they acquire the skills.

They are very smart, they're able to learn, but we need to help them.

>>Some of them struggle with initiating conversation, some of them struggle with maintaining, and some of them struggle with keeping their answers maybe a little bit shorter so that the other person has a turn to talk.

It can include learning non-verbal social skills, meaning being able to identify facial expressions, body language, and that can also include all the invisible rules of living in a social society, which are very complex.

Ultimately, it depends on the child what social skills they may need, because sometimes you might have a child who really struggles identifying what emotions they are feeling or what emotions someone else is feeling.

And so you have to literally teach them names and identifying emotions.

Somebody else might be able to identify their own emotion, but they don't recognize, they have a harder time taking somebody else's perspective.

And so unless that person says, I feel this way, they might not see those signs.

- So while it looks a lot of fun, what we are actually doing is teaching them and exposing them and then having them practice with peers.

>>Social Butterfly achieves this through a variety of activities like acting out social scenarios, playing interactive games, identifying feelings and discussing conflict resolutions.

>>Some of them didn't really think they needed any help and they wanted to play video games instead, so we really had to try to show them that it's fun to make friends and it's fun to interact.

And that's one area that I'm really proud to say I think we were pretty successful in.

Every once in a while, we'll have a day where maybe someone isn't in the mood, but that's all of us.

Most of the time they come in with a positive attitude.

They've definitely made gains in really trying to take themselves out of their own and their own perspective, think about their friend, for instance, and what their friend might wanna talk about, what their friend might wanna play.

We've taught what are called friendship files, where you actively practice learning what somebody else likes so that you are thinking about them when you're having conversations.

And then lastly, self-regulation.

And that means like when you lose a game, not flipping out, not saying rude things, being able to show some enjoyment when you've seen, when your friend wins the game instead of you, in addition to rehearsing, in addition to identifying feelings but also when they come to group, they're making friends, and they see that other people have these same feelings.

And so a lot of times just knowing that can help you feel more comfortable with the emotions that you feel.

You don't feel so alone.

And when you don't feel so alone, you accept it a little bit more, and you can calm yourself a little bit easier.

>>Lucy's journey began when she had her son, Ruben.

His early years of receiving a diagnosis were rough, and providing for him is what led her to becoming a behavior analysis.

>>I didn't find meaning in my job, and I was asking God for something with meaning.

Little did I know that when I had my son, my first son, Ruben, at the 19 month mark, he started exhibiting some changes, regression and behavioral things, he was banging his head, crying, we didn't understand why.

And that started my journey into finding out what was happening to him, and after three daycares, to include a Montessori school and being asked to leave, and going through Child Find, children's hospitals I learned that he potentially had a disability.

They didn't diagnose it right away.

They recommended that I stay home, which I did.

He eventually got a diagnosis.

Unfortunately, he was misdiagnosed first, but at that moment I was just desperate, and he needed special education services.

So in first grade, he was diagnosed with emotional disabilities.

Not even a year later, the teacher said, "no, let's go back."

And they found him eligible for autism.

I have to say, I'm really proud.

He's 20, he's gonna be 21 next month.

He's taking courses at NOVA, he's in college, he's learning how to drive, so he's doing really well.

>>Lucy founded the Learning Center in 2020 with her son as her main inspiration.

She knew that if she needed more help, so did the millions of other parents who feel as lost as she did.

>>I realized that while schools do a lot of great things, we needed to dedicate more time to that area, because making community connections, you can be really smart, right, and have a lot of talent, but if you cannot connect in the community, be independent and navigate, develop deeper social relationships.

You're gonna stumble, you're gonna struggle.

And that is an area that I thought that I can come in and help students, K through 12, especially before they go off to college to develop the skills they need in order to be successful navigating the social world.

I just felt like every kid is Ruben, right?

Every kid deserves an opportunity and someone to help them.

And I found a lot of good people along the way who helped me and trained me, but also supported me in my journey.

And I wanna do that for families.

I know that is, I know schools do a great job, and they do all they can, but I needed more.

So I know they need more and that's why we're here to give them that opportunity.

>>Today, dozens of kids are getting the help they need, thanks to these educators who are taking the extra steps necessary to give these children the very best foundation.

For a world of difference, I'm Cindy Peterson.

(upbeat music) >>Thanks, Cindy.

Next, our expert panel stands ready to equip parents and neurodivergent kids with the tools to own their emotions.

(upbeat synth music) Tiffany Calderara is a Director of Student Evaluations and Outreach at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida.

She provides guidance to students and families to help them navigate educational choices and fosters open discussions related to a student's sense of self and experience with having a learning disability while pursuing academic goals.

Lyn Maybin Flagg is a licensed clinical social worker for Baltimore County Public Schools in Maryland and a clinician for the Maryland Department of Mental Health and Hygiene.

Dr. Eric Hollander is a psychiatrist at Montefiore Health System in the Bronx, New York and director of the Autism and Obsessive Compulsive Spectrum program at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine also in the Bronx, New York.

So we're gonna start a conversation with Dr. Hollander.

Dr, exactly what is emotional self-regulation?

>>Well, emotional self-regulation is the ability to modulate one's emotions and to deal with a changing environment.

So to be aware of what's triggering intense emotions and then to be able to effectively manage those emotions.

>>Great.

So what does a person who has a strong control of their emotion, what does that look like?

>>Well, they can deal with all kinds of different challenges without having a meltdown, for example.

So they can push themselves to advocate for themselves, they can transition from one activity to another, they can take on things that normally would make them uncomfortable, and then they can deal with the strong emotions that may be associated with all those triggers.

>>Alright, thank you, Dr. Lyn, conversely, what is dysregulation, and what does that look like in neurodivergent children?

>>Dysregulation of emotions looks like the impairment of one's ability to regulate his or her mood behavior in a setting, and there could be varying situations that occur, but this student perhaps doesn't really know how to figure out how to self calm or approach the task without kind of having a meltdown or some kind of behavior that looks as if the child is is really struggling with a challenge.

>>All right, thank you.

Tiffany, so from what I understand, in neurodivergent children, many of them do struggle with emotional self-regulation.

Can you talk to us a little bit about how that impacts various aspects of their lives?

>>Yeah, so in the experience a child with neurodivergence so like ADHD or autism, have challenges around being able to focus and attend and make sense of a whole lot of different stimuli and a learning environment from, you know, from the sensory side, and so emotions are a part of that sensory experience.

And so different areas that would be impacted, basically every area of development would be impacted by that emotional experience where you're internalizing difficult, big emotions or externalizing.

If you're having those behaviors, that could look really out of control, it could be isolating you socially where your friends and your peers don't want to spend time with you, or it could be conversely where you're scared to make friends because you feel like you won't belong or they won't like you, it can make it difficult to be available for learning, and so for that cognitive and language development side, if you're overcome with emotion at that point, you're just not gonna be able to attend.

>>All right, thank you.

So Dr. Hollander, is emotional self-regulation kind of a fixed concept or does it evolve over time as the child develops?

>>Well, definitely it evolves over the time as kids get older, you know, as we become more mature, we're better able to manage our emotions as the brain matures and the cortex develops and the pathways myelinate, then the cortex can control these limbic type of explosive behaviors.

So people who become more responsible can then better regulate their emotions.

The brain develops to be able to use top-down control to manage our emotions.

>>All right, thank you.

So Lyn, as parents raising neurodivergent children, there are gonna be situations that prove frustrating to mom and dad, things that they cannot control.

But when it comes to helping to model for these children how important is it for mom and dad to maintain their cool, so to speak, when it comes to confronting these issues with their children?

>>So I think as it relates to our ability as parents to model the behavior that we wish to see, it's a very important consideration when, you know, managing neurodivergent children.

We know that if we can access those capabilities that are allowing kids to learn the skills, perhaps they can model the skills that they see.

So being able to access what we call our upstairs brain in those moments when it's really tough is really what we wanna teach kids and be able to role model ourselves for them.

>>All right.

Tiffany, autistic and other neurodivergent children experience a range of emotions, but oftentimes they aren't able to identify or to understand what they're going through.

So can you give us some idea how parents should go about helping them to make these identifications and to be able to better respond to when others are experiencing emotions such as parents who are angry that the child didn't clean their room today.

How do you help parents help their children?

>>So its, I think, important to normalize that we all have emotional experiences and sometimes we can ourselves feel out of control.

And so even as parents, while we try our best to maintain our cool and calm and that upstairs brain, I like that phrase, we sometimes might have to model the moments when we're having a hard time too.

And so that would be labeling a parent's own self-awareness around, I'm really frustrated, for example, on saying, "mommy needs to take a little time out and mommy needs to do some deep breathing."

And so modeling the actual coping skill alongside labeling the emotion is a really great strategy for parents to role model.

(upbeat synth music) >>Watch the full ask the expert segment on our website at AWODTV.org.

You can also watch or listen on Facebook, YouTube, or on your favorite podcasting platform.

Next, let's reveal our latest difference maker.

In western culture, the number seven is often considered lucky.

Perhaps not so much when you're a kid and then a young man left trying to make sense of the world while dealing with seven undiagnosed neurodivergent conditions.

That was Gregory Shepherd's life until his forties when he finally learned that he was autistic and living with several processing disorders.

Yet, Shepherd rolled his seven into a career as a startup business artist and serial entrepreneur.

Today, he has 14 liquidity events under his belt, two of which were sold as part of a $925 million transaction with eBay.

As a Forbes Books author, a TEDx speaker, host of the Forbes Radio "Meet the Boss" podcast and co-founder of Boss Capital Partners, Shepherd is living his best life.

And he is now paving a way for others who learn and think differently to roll the dice and come up winners.

Correspondent Luisa Ardilla brings us his story.

(upbeat electronic music) >>Greg Shepard is an entrepreneur who has made a name for himself in a wide range of industries.

With over a dozen successful ventures under his belt, this investor and philanthropist has proven himself to be a master of technology and business.

>>In 2016, I sold the company to eBay as part of a $925 million transaction.

And then six months later, I sold them another company, and then I got the title of Chief Strategy Officer for eBay Enterprise and then Chief Technology Officer after that, and then went into that company to execute the strategy that I built.

And it was like a really big deal for me.

I still have the business cards, so really big deal for me.

>>But what some may not realize is the fact that he is neurodivergent.

>>I barely graduated from high school.

I went to like, I think, five high schools.

They were trying to figure out what to do with me, 'cause I have Savant syndrome and dyslexia and autism and synesthesia, and they kept putting me in different schools and I never really found a school, and then I had decided this one year, I was like, "I have to finish school.

I have to get this done" and I didn't want to quit.

So it was the first year I did the challenges that I've been doing every year since I was 18, was just to graduate from high school.

>>He turned those obstacles into skills using his knack for finding patterns and solving problems to create successful businesses.

Now Greg is putting his talents towards solving some of the world's most pressing problems.

>>I don't think that my mission is a single thing.

I think that it is a evolving thing.

So if I were to sum it up, it's to help the planet and everything on it.

If I enable founders to start businesses that help out with like carbon capture and desalination plants and using less water and electrification of things and sustainable energy and things to help disease and ways that we can help people that don't function the same way as everybody else, then to me that is my mission.

>>Greg has many of the people who hold the key to humanity's challenges are often overlooked.

And he set out to empower them.

He has developed a curriculum offering founders online education tools, courses, and networking to help them design their success.

It's a program already in use in institutions around the world, including UC San Diego.

>>4% of people have the ability to get out from check to check living, and the largest percentage of those people do it by starting a business, but then 90% fail trying to start a business.

So I was like, "okay, I'm gonna study why they failed."

So I spent about five years studying why, when, and how entrepreneurs were failing.

And then I put together courses and curriculum and all this stuff to try to help founders.

If I can just help less of them fail, and I can give the information to them free, the biggest problems that we have in the world are the problems that are experienced by people that are the only people that can solve those problems.

So if I empower those people to learn how to solve their own problems, I can not only take them out of a financial situation where they're ignored and passed over like I was, and also I can help with income inequality and I can help out with all the marginalized groups.

>>According to Greg, some of the most impactful businesses are born from the unique perspectives of neurodivergent individuals who identify a problem and carved their own path to solve it.

>>And that's why I went into the startup.

Most of them are founded by neurodivergent people of some way and or some kind of neurodivergent, and they're after solving these problems.

So it's like my people solving problems that I'm passionate about and I get to help them.

And for me that is, I mean, I feel magical because of that, I guess.

>>Still he acknowledges the world has a long way to go when it comes to accepting people with neurodiverse minds.

>>The difference between where we are and where we need to be in terms of people understanding the behavior of other people and not thinking that those behaviors are like a symbol of something that is a negative thing instead of a positive thing or just a different thing, it's a big distance.

My sister is autistic, I'm autistic, my son's autistic, my daughter is neurodivergent.

And I can tell you that we understand a lot more than people think we do.

Just because we don't communicate effectively back or whatever, it doesn't mean that we don't understand.

>>Greg encourages individuals with exceptional cognitive abilities to persevere and find tools to unlock their unique abilities and specialties in order to achieve their full potential.

>>For me, I found different tools that helped me, ways of organizing things, software on computers that read things to me, different little processes.

I have all these little processes that help me move through the day, even in my own personal life.

So I think that you find your own tools and it's just like, you know, if I had lost my leg somehow, I would have crutches or I would have a wheelchair, I would have some sort of a way that would help me mobilize myself.

And it's the same thing for neurodiverse people.

So find your, your weaknesses, and then fill those weaknesses with tools that help you level the playing field as much as you can.

>>He believes that charting your own course can lead you to unexpected places, from delivering a TEDx talk to wrangling alligators, rubbing elbows with world leaders, or swimming for over six hours in open water.

He continues to challenge himself to exceed his own expectations.

>>I learned everything myself, and now I'm teaching other people including people that are in, you know, some fancy schools that I could never get into.

And it's just so mind boggling.

As I say it, it's just crazy, right?

>>For a world of difference, I'm Luisa Ardilla.

(upbeat pop music) >>Thanks Luisa, and congratulations Gregory Shepherd for making a difference.

And that does it for this edition of "A World of Difference: Embracing Neurodiversity."

I'm Daryl Owens.

I'll see you back here next time.

You can watch episodes of "A World of Difference" on the Beacon College Facebook and YouTube channels and on the show's website, awodtv.org.

The website also provides tip sheets and other resources for your parenting journey.

You can watch the show from the PBS app available on your favorite streaming device and you can listen on your favorite podcasting platform.

Thank you for watching and supporting "A World of Difference."