A survivor of domestic violence herself, Linda Perez, CEO of The Shade Tree, our guest this week on Nevada Week In Person.

♪♪♪ Support for Nevada Week In Person is provided by Senator William H. Hernstadt.

-Welcome to Nevada Week In Person.

I'm Amber Renee Dixon.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 women has experienced domestic violence.

Our guest this week is one of those women and is now using her experience to help other victims gain stability, dignity, and self-reliance.

Linda Perez, CEO of The Shade Tree, thank you for joining Nevada Week In Person.

(Linda Perez) Thank you so much for having me.

-For those who don't know, The Shade Tree is a domestic violence shelter and resource center.

I'd like to start with your own story of domestic violence.

-Yes.

Thank you so much for having me, and I love the opportunity to bring awareness and to be able to use my voice to show other women and victims out there that it happens to anybody.

It can happen to anybody, and you're not alone.

For example, I am a survivor, and I have grown up in a domestic violence home.

As I mentioned, for children and the youth, it's so important to bring awareness to them growing up in a domestic violence home.

That was normal to me, and that carried through in my adulthood with being a victim as well, because that's what I knew.

That's what was, relationships were, looked like that was healthy to me.

-Had you been approached as a child about domestic violence, do you think you would have realized it was happening in your own home?

-I really truly believe that if there were programs in my school, educating and just bringing awareness and showing signs, and if we had counselors in our school at the time, I think it would have been very different for me.

I think I could have been educated and also educated my family.

-What about your own experience with domestic violence can people learn from?

Who was this person that was your abuser?

-You know, I think that it's very important to understand or get out of the mindset of what people think a victim is.

I was very educated at the time.

I have, I had a career.

He was a doctor.

And I think it's very important for people to understand that domestic violence does not discriminate.

It happens in every culture, in every financial situation, education-wise, religion.

And I think people need to really understand that the statistics are 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men.

And if you just think about those numbers and think about your circle of family and friends, that means either you, someone you know, someone you love has or will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime if we don't start talking about it, if we don't start educating our families.

And my experience was all private.

No one knew about what I was going through.

I went to work every day.

I was working on my master's degree.

All of those things were things that nobody knew about.

And it was because I kept it to myself of for shame, but also because I loved this person.

That was the person that was supposed to take care of me and protect me.

And unfortunately, the fairy tale of Prince Charming and Cinderella doesn't quite happen for many of us.

-He was a doctor who had taken an oath to help people, and this was happening.

-And this was happening privately until one time, I thought I was going to lose my life.

And that was really the turning point for me.

-Not everyone gets a turning point, unfortunately.

-Yes.

-When people are evaluating their own families and perhaps suspect this is happening, what do you advise them to do?

-What I would advise families to do is not try to step in if you're not educated or aware of how to deal with that type of situation.

And that's why The Shade Tree and other organizations like us are out there.

Because if you don't know how to handle that delicate situation, you can put someone further away.

What I'd like families to know is that there are resources.

Educate yourself.

Educate your family.

If you start noticing changes in your loved one, the isolation, they're changing, they're wearing different clothing, they're not fixing themselves up, all of these things, they don't have that strong, you know, fun personality that maybe they had before.

All of those things are signs that they need help.

I think people really need to recognize that abuse is not just physical.

There is emotional abuse.

There's financial abuse.

There's verbal abuse.

That is domestic violence.

And if you're in a situation like that, that is an unhealthy relationship.

And that is domestic violence.

-So you're saying seek professional guidance first before.

What are the common scenarios you see where a family member will step in?

-They'll step in, or even friends, because we want to say you're better than that.

You're dumb.

You're stupid.

Why are you staying in?

You have so much.

Those are the kinds of things we don't want to hear: Why are you staying?

What we should be asking is, Why does the abuser do what they do?

And I don't say men, because it is men and women.

But, yes, just be compassionate.

Hear what they're saying.

They're in love.

This is the person that they feel is going to protect them, and they trust them.

And this is the kind of love that they're receiving, and love should not hurt.

-Now, this segment is supposed to be about you and your life.

So let's talk a little bit more about that.

Your experience prior to this position, would you say it was primarily in domestic violence or more so in gaming and hospitality?

-I would say the majority of my career in my previous life was in the hospitality, gaming industry.

And I really believed that that experience, working for casino giants like I did, really helped me prepare in running the organization, especially a nonprofit, because people think that nonprofits might be easier.

And honestly, running a nonprofit is so much more challenging with limited resources, how you're bringing income in, the leadership, the training and development aspect.

I have at The Shade Tree and in my previous shelter wanted so much to develop leadership development and training because it is so important for me.

I won't always be leading The Shade Tree, but I will always be in this work.

I want to make sure The Shade Tree is set up for succession planning after me, my directors after them, because I believe that is how The Shade Tree is going to continue to provide services to our community.

-To survive.

And when I say "gaming and hospitality," this was not in Las Vegas?

-No.

-It was in Indiana.

-Yes.

-So, yes, I'm originally from the Midwest.

I finally made five years here in Vegas this December, which I'm so happy to live here.

I love being here, and this is where I definitely will stay and bring the rest of my family here too.

But, yes, my original career is in the Midwest in the casinos when all the casinos opened up out there.

-Okay.

And you did work at a domestic violence shelter in Indiana as well?

-Yes.

Prior to this, this role that I'm in now, I ran a domestic violence shelter back in Indiana.

And that was really the start of me really being able to utilize my voice and my experience, not because I am a social worker, but because I am a leader and had great grooming in hospitality, but in taking care of people and leadership development.

And that's what I'm bringing to The Shade Tree.

-Now, when we spoke on the phone prior to this, you had said the human trafficking aspect that you have of your job now, helping those victims, that was not familiar to you in Indiana.

-No.

We were, we were just getting familiar at the time.

And this is back in 2014 that I ran the other shelter.

So that was my prior job prior to coming here.

But it wasn't as prevalent and obvious as it is here in Vegas.

-What was that learning curve like?

-It was very eye opening because they are also victims, but what I was learning is that they don't see themselves as domestic violence victims.

Their trauma and their victimization is different, almost where they look down to a domestic violence victim or a sexual assault victim.

So understanding a human trafficking person's mindset and how to deal with them.

So, yes, that's when I started learning a lot more about human trafficking and how to take care of them.

And so, yes, at The Shade Tree, we are currently looking at additional space and safe houses that we can move our trafficking victims outside of The Shade Tree and into a different location.

-Okay, because housing with domestic violence victims, as you mentioned, they may look down on them.

Why?

-It's just different.

You have to think of a human trafficking victim, many of them have had luxuries that our domestic violence victims do not have.

Our human trafficking, sex trafficking victims might have been lavished with jewelry, with clothing, great homes.

They're taken care of differently than domestic violence where they're with their loved one, and that is their loved one doing that; whereas, a trafficking victim, it's different.

-Wow!

You deal with so many stories of horrific events involving domestic violence and human trafficking.

So how do you take care of yourself?

-Self-care is extremely important for myself and also for my team.

When I see maybe there's a few more client complaints coming forward or client concerns, I have to look at my team who's serving them.

Is it too much?

Do they need an extra day off?

So I have to look at that.

So for myself, I really find the things that make, that give me self-care and give me energy and breath in my body again.

And it's as simple as bubble baths, enjoying bubble baths and bubbly.

I love to read, and I'm very grounded in my faith.

So my time with God is important to me.

That helps me.

-And it's hard for people to do that when they're thinking of other people who are suffering.

-All the time.

-Yet... -You have to be able to detach.

There are times when a week might get too much or three weeks.

And there's a lot going on in the shelter.

I have to find that time and, whether it's a day, to completely detach.

And that might mean me just being by myself enjoying my bubble bath, reading my book, having time for just me to detach.

-Because if you don't?

-If you don't, I can't be well and take care of my staff and my clients if I'm not taking care of myself.

Yes.

-You mentioned your faith.

On the part of your Instagram profile where you get to describe yourself, you write, quote, She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

That's from Proverbs.

-Yes.

I love the book of Proverbs, especially Proverbs 31.

It's that, that strong woman.

And I believe that throughout my life, I've experienced tragedies and trauma.

But I've also experienced lots of victories because of those things.

And I, I just move forward with, there's always going to be fear of the unknown, but we just push, we push through.

And I know who I am in how I love, how I give, how I interact with people, and I just want to make sure at the end of my life that God says, Yes, you've done good work, and I'm proud of you.

-Last thing.

We're running out of time.

One of your hashtags on that Instagram is "pitbull mom."

Why is it important for you to identify yourself as a pitbull mom?

-You know, pit bulls, I think that they are so misunderstood, and it really does have to do with how they are brought up in those experiences, right?

So just like all of us.

And I believe that they deserve second chances, and they deserve to be in homes where they can really thrive.

And they are really the best dogs that I've ever had.

So, yes, I am a pitbull mom.

And it's so funny because Domestic Violence Awareness Month is October.

It's also Pitbull Awareness Month as well.

-Linda Perez of The Shade Tree, thank you so much for your time.

-Thank you.

-And thank you for watching.

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