>> Hi.

I'm Lewis Howes, New York Times best-selling author and entrepreneur.

And welcome to "The School of Greatness," where we interview the most influential minds and leaders in the world to inspire you to live your best life today.

In this episode, we sit down with U.S. Army Special Forces member and author Nick Lavery.

Today, he shares his inspiring, yet tragic story of falling victim to an insider attack while in combat, where he lost one of his legs.

However, Nick refused to retire from the military and set out to be the first Green Beret to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee.

Nick also shares how to discover your life's meaningful mission, how to deal with pain and grief, and the tools necessary to become a great leader in every area of your life.

I'm so glad you're here today.

So let's dive in and let the class begin.

♪ ♪ Why would you want to go back into combat after losing your leg?

>> That's a great question, man.

It's layered.

I'll say kind of on the cusp of that is I'm stubborn, I'm competitive.

As much as I enjoy winning, I really hate losing more so.

And there's a difference, as you know.

>> Sure.

>> So the idea of my future being dictated by anyone or anything other than me was something that just didn't sit well with me, laying in the hospital.

You know, taking it a little bit deeper is.

passion and purpose, two terms that get thrown around a lot.

Different interpretations perhaps from individual.

I'll say that I have recognized the passion I have, not for being a Green Beret, but for earning my Green Beret, every single day, like a love of the game, a passion of the game.

And then a deep sense of purpose, you know, like what is your why?

Like, answering that question, what is your soul pulling you towards?

A deep connection with this lifestyle and having realized that I was put on this Earth to be a warrior and to pledge allegiance to a society in which I'll protect at all costs.

>> Wow.

>> So I know that that's who I am, so it really didn't give me an alternative option.

>> Sure.

Let's talk about the story of, you know, what happened to you with your leg.

>> Let's do it.

>> When was it?

What was happening?

What can you share about it?

And when did you know you were going to lose your leg?

>> So this was in March of 2013.

We were on the back end of a six-month deployment in Afghanistan, so we were set to leave in a couple weeks.

And this was actually the third time I was wounded in combat on that one deployment.

You mentioned three Purple Hearts.

Those were all earned on the same deployment.

>> Geez.

>> We were about to go on a mission, and we had a bunch of different units, Afghan units we were working with that particular day.

>> Local units?

>> Yeah.

Afghan National Army.

We had Afghan National Police.

Our dedicated partner force, like we talked about, was an Afghan special operations commando unit that lived with us.

>> Wow.

>> But depending on the mission, sometimes we would go with a much bigger package.

We would bring in some of these conventional forces.

And this day was one of those, and one of the Afghan National Police officers, as we were finishing our mission brief, all just kind of outside in a big group, he jumped up on the back of a Ford Ranger that had a truck-mounted belt-fed machine gun, and he opened fire into us.

>> Wait.

Who was this?

>> This was an Afghan National police officer that we were working with.

So he turned on us.

>> Why?

>> It's a fair question, man.

And this is an important part of really the process, but the Taliban at the time had discovered a really successful tactic, and they would walk into the home of an individual who had access to us and say, "Here's the deal.

We're either going to brutalize your entire family and then slaughter them in front of you and then kill you, or you go do this for us."

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> "You're dead either way, but if you do this --" >> "We'll spare your family."

>> "Not only will we spare your family, but we'll make sure they're taken care of for the rest of their lives."

And what makes this tactic successful is they actually follow-through on that.

So those family members are actually taken care of.

>> They'll hear about this from other family members taken care of.

>> Exactly.

So it builds up the credibility of this tactic.

>> So you die right now, or you go do this and you die.

>> And they kill you, but your family will be okay.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> And I say this -- >> You've been building rapport with this person for, you know, a year or months, right?

>> Yeah.

I actually taught him how to use the machine gun.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> ...that he shot us with.

>> Oh, my God.

Holy cow.

>> Which has added to the frustration of it.

>> So, I mean, how many people did he injure that day?

>> 12 Americans, 3 of which were killed.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> And then another eight or so Afghans that he killed or wounded.

>> That he killed also.

>> Yeah.

>> Holy cow.

>> So it's considered the most catastrophic insider attack that we know of since 9/11, if not prior to that.

>> That one event?

>> Yeah.

>> Holy cow.

>> Catastrophic.

>> So, how many bullets did you take?

>> Being around four or five to my right leg.

I took one to my lower-left leg.

My scrotum was lacerated by either a round or from some debris.

But most of the damage was to my right leg, and that was really obvious.

And once I realized that my femoral artery had been cut, which I could tell with the amount of volume of blood that I was losing -- >> Oh, my gosh.

>> Just pumping out, a river -- >> Oh!

>> I knew I had maybe eight or so minutes to live unless I got that pinched off completely, which is really tough to do without doing it internally.

>> Like, right.

You've got a -- >> Like tourniquets, especially on a really meaty thigh.

>> A thick leg.

>> It's really tough to get enough pressure on that externally to truly pinch off that bleed.

Although I did put a tourniquet on myself, and then I put a second tourniquet on myself, and then one of my teammates got to me.

And I remember trying to fight him off of me to go work on someone else, because I knew I was dying.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> I knew I was dying.

There was no question in my mind, like, this is where it's gonna end.

You're doing a poor job of triage right now, because there are others that are down that have a higher probability of survivability, and you're wasting moments on me now.

>> Holy cow.

>> So I'm trying to get my boy Jason off of me, and he's ignoring me, and he puts on a third tourniquet.

He gets some I.V.

access for some blood or for meds or whatever may have to happen.

And then, you know, we said our goodbye for the last time.

And he went off.

He had a lot of work to do.

So I'm laying there.

I got three tourniquets on my leg, and my femur is completely shattered.

So I grabbed my leg, and I pick it up, and I can still see blood seeping out.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> And my leg looks like hammered meat at this point.

>> Shredded.

>> It looked like a shark had gotten Ahold of it.

Exposed bone and tissue.

>> Oh, gosh!

>> It's just a mess.

And I'm still leaking, and I'm like, "Alright, man.

Time is getting really low.

Have I done everything I can do?"

And the answer was I hadn't.

So I grabbed some gauze out of my kit, ball it up into what we call a power ball, which really just gives gauze a little bit of density.

I loosen up one of the tourniquets, and I just rammed this up into my thigh.

And I'm kind of reaching up towards my pelvis, towards my hip.

>> In the bone area, in the -- >> Inside the leg, right?

So I'm in one of the wounds.

>> Oh, my God.

But is the shock so intense that your adrenaline's taking over, that you're not feeling the pain?

>> Here's where I felt the pain, yeah.

>> Now you're like, "Oh, it's hitting the nerve."

>> This was the first time, 'cause I'm scraping past shattered femur.

And now I'm on the verge of going unconscious, 'cause the pain is, like, surging through my face.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> And I'm just saying, "Man, you know, stay awake.

Focus.

You can find it."

So I'm trying to find the femoral artery, which we do these types of things in training.

I've never done it on myself.

And I realized that when you're losing that much blood, your blood shunts inwards from your extremities to try to protect your organs for as long as possible.

>> Uh-huh.

>> So I'm dealing with these kind of meat mittens.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> No dexterity, numb.

>> It's like the blood's rushing down this way.

>> Right.

>> So you don't have -- Yeah, it's not -- >> I can't really feel much, but I think I feel a pulse.

I just kind of go for it.

I rammed down as hard as I can.

>> Oh, my God.

>> I feed the rest of the gauze in on top of it.

I re-secure the tourniquet on top of that.

And then I blacked out.

And I just happened to get extraordinarily lucky, because I nailed the femoral artery.

And I know this because I was on the ground for 90 minutes before I could get on a helicopter.

>> Another 90 minutes?

So if you wouldn't have put it in there, there's no way you survive?

>> No way.

No, no, no.

No shot.

And the reason why it took 90 minutes is because when this guy cracked off that gun on us, that was the initiation of a complex ambush.

>> Sure.

>> So enemy fighters were all around our position, and they began firing rockets and machine gun.

Eventually, my guys got that situation under control.

medevac bird comes down.

I'm on the first lift, me and two of my teammates.

They pulled the three of us off that bird, right into the clinic, and hooked us up on blood transfusions, me and my teammate, 'cause we both were desperate for it.

Well, within a couple of minutes I began to completely crash.

And they are assuming it's because of how much trauma my body had been through for now, approaching almost two hours.

They're like, "Okay, we need to get this dude to Bagram, like, immediately."

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> So they throw me back on a helicopter, and I'm now flying to Bagram, which is like a nine-minute flight.

And it's while I'm on the flight that they go to change out the blood of my teammate.

And they realize that they're giving him O positive, which is my blood type.

They had given me his blood type... >> Oh, my gosh.

>> ...which is AB negative, which is extremely specific.

So that was the result of me -- >> Going to shock or shutting down?

>> Everything shut down.

Yeah.

So liver, kidneys, my lungs -- everything was dying, because I was being pumped full of an incompatible blood type.

My teammate was fine, because O positive is a universal donor.

You can give blood to anybody.

So he's okay, but they realize what happened.

They check what they gave me, and they're like, "Oh, no."

They call Bagram hospital.

I'm still airborne.

And they say, "Hey, man, we just pumped Nick full of like eight units of incompatible blood type."

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> "There's no way he survives the flight to you guys.

So just be prepared to receive his body when he gets there.

And, you know, a lot of ways they were right, because I totally coded.

The med crew on that flight were getting real creative with ways to try to keep me alive -- panels, direct shots of adrenaline.

>> "Give another minute, give another minute.

What can we do to keep the heartbeat going, keep him alive," right?

>> Yeah.

>> Wow.

>> Yeah.

>> So you get to the hospital.

>> Get to Bagram, pull me off.

I'm totally flatlined.

That was when they took my foot off immediately, really just try to minimize how much damage my body was trying to recover from.

>> Are you asleep at this point?

Are you awake?

>> No, I'm out.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah.

I have no recollection of this.

>> But there's a pulse?

>> There was a bit of a pulse.

>> They can see you breathing?

Or how -- >> No.

>> You're not breathing.

>> No.

>> Very little pulse.

>> Very little pulse.

>> But they know you're alive.

>> They pretty much assume I'm dead.

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> But they're still working on me.

So it's more panels, a blood transfusion, dialysis.

I'm intubated, so a machine is breathing for me.

>> Holy cow.

>> I get enough of a pulse back where I'm, like, barely -- It's like -- boop.

You know -- boop.

But I'm, like, barely there.

And so machines were pretty much keeping me alive for I ended up being like 2 1/2, 3 days.

>> Oh, my gosh, man.

So you're unconscious for three days?

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Wow.

And then, you know, I kind of came back after that.

But my first legitimate thought that I had, or my first memory I have, is the chief of orthopedics coming into the intensive care unit, and he said, "Hey, man.

My name is Dr. So-and-So, and here's your current situation.

Your leg is gone up to your knee.

My staff wants to take you into the operating room right now and amputate your leg at the hip because your leg is riddled with infection, and any one of these bacterias could kill you."

>> Yeah.

>> "So they want to play it safe, which is really the right move to make, but I think I can save more of your leg.

It's just gonna be a street fight, and I need you in this fight with me."

>> Oh, my gosh.

What'd you do?

>> And I looked up at him, and I just met this guy, right?

And he's telling me that there's bacteria that could kill me and all this stuff.

And I don't think I processed most of what he said, but I do remember him saying something about getting into a street fight, and I was like, "Yeah.

Let's go do that."

>> "I'm in.

Let's go."

[ Laughs ] >> Yeah.

>> "Let's go."

>> I'm like, "Let's go do that."

>> Get me in the fight.

Wow.

>> So that began my process of being in surgery three, sometimes four days a week.

And they would just go in and amputate more, cut out, you know, dead tissue, dead bone.

And I lived that for about 35 or so surgeries.

>> Oh, my gosh, man.

>> It was in those moments, man, in the intensive care unit, that I determined that I was gonna go back to a Special Forces team.

>> Crazy, man.

>> I can still remember the moment seeing my family there with the masks and the hairnets and all the, you know, level-five trauma suits, and me in the intensive care unit.

I can still see that, and having made the decision then that I'm going back to my lifestyle.

It was from the very, very beginning.

>> How do you think you kept your emotional strength so high under extreme pain, loss -- physical loss, you know, psychological and emotional loss, with fallen brothers and teammates?

How did you keep your emotions, your heart at a level of some sense of peace and not get into a depressed state or a downward spiral, like so many people do?

>> Sure.

>> Which is probably normal for people.

>> Absolutely.

>> I mean, they've lost their brothers, their teammates, their family, lost a leg.

You know, potential loss of identity of being a soldier again.

How did you keep your heart and your emotions in a state of calm, peace, and certainty with all this trauma?

>> Yeah.

One aspect of that was being made aware of how the attack happened, the information that I explained earlier.

Once my teammates got back, they came to visit me.

They told me what they had learned about the incident, because I was holding on to a lot of anger from that.

>> Sure.

>> Particularly because it was someone that I had been working with.

And at that point I had been in, you know, a whole lot of different engagements and gunfights and the explosions.

And to be killed by someone or that wounded by someone that I was working with -- >> You trusted.

>> Trusted to a degree.

>> Collaborated with.

>> That's a better way to put it.

>> Yeah.

>> Was frustrating to me.

>> I can imagine.

>> You know?

>> Betrayal, the hurt, all that stuff.

>> Yeah, betrayal.

That's some powerful stuff, right?

So once I was made aware of his reasoning, I was able to let go of quite a bit.

>> And have some understanding or some type of compassion?

>> Complete.

>> It's hard to have compassion for someone who's doing this to you, but when you know why -- >> Yeah, man.

>> He cared about his family, and he knew he was gonna die.

>> Right.

Because although I didn't have, you know, the wife and kids I have now, I could empathize with that and saying if I'm put in that position, between truly a rock and a hard place, and I have no practical way to fight this, right?

-- like nine guys with guns, and I'm a dirt farmer in my home -- I'm doing the exact same thing.

So I was able to, like, let that go and then, you know, get to business.

And you ask, you know, how.

And I'll sum it up into one word 'cause it's the only one I can think of to explain it, and it's faith.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> You know, which certainly has a strong, you know, religious and biblical feel to it.

>> Yes.

>> However that's a definition of faith being a firm belief in something for which there is no proof.

And I just felt it in my heart and my soul as I was laying in the hospital bed and as I began doing early-phase physical therapy.

And once I originally got, you know, my first prosthetic, I just had this belief that this is possible.

>> Mm.

>> It's never been done before, but that doesn't make it impossible.

I just have to figure out how to go about doing it.

When it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal.

When it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal.

So if you are trying to overcome the greatest challenge in your particular life, whether or not it's been done before ever is irrelevant.

But this is your biggest set of adversity, your greatest challenge ever.

The struggle is going to then be the highest that you have ever dealt with before, so... And the likelihood of success is also probably the lowest it's ever been before.

So to say that you can accomplish something like that without faith seems to be unlikely.

At some point, you are going to believe in what it is you're trying to do, whether or not anyone else does or not, but you believe in it.

There's no proof that you're gonna make it happen.

There's no proof that it's possible, but you feel it, and you you buy into that, to such a degree that you're willing to do it anyway.

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> I'm curious about this.

It seems like there's a lot of pain and adversity people are facing in the world.

How do you modify your relationship with fear and pain?

>> I think at least for me, man, it began with a recognition of what they're there to do.

And, you know, the human brain does a lot of amazing things for us, but its primary responsibility is our survival, is to keep us alive.

>> Yes.

>> And the brain has a security system within it, and within that are two different alerts, one of which we know is fear, one we know is pain.

Fear is the alert of pending danger or a potential threat, like something bad could happen.

You're now scared.

I need you to be scared of that to stay away from it.

Pain being the alert of damage or impairment, right, because the brain wants us to survive.

Knowing that our brain is there because it wants the comfort zone, like homeostasis, like the medical term.

It wants things nice and predictable and sustainable and forecastable, and let's just keep things all nice and calm here when it comes to even our heartbeat, our red blood cell count.

Like, it doesn't want change.

Recognizing that and then knowing that if we've set our sights on something righteous, something of ambition, something that is unlikely, unprecedented, there are gonna be times when we have to ignore our brain and listen to our heart and our soul.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> And one of the greater challenges of life really is knowing when to take that risk and asking yourself in that moment, in real time, like, right now, are you willing to take the risk of doing this particular thing, knowing the potential hazards, but, then, also knowing the potential effects.

If your mission doesn't scare you at least a little bit, it's probably not the one you want to choose.

I think it needs to scare you.

Because if if it doesn't, are you really striving high enough?

Have you set the bar high enough?

And if you reach that goal, are you going to feel fulfilled?

>> This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the Three Truths.

So it's a hypothetical question.

Imagine your last day on Earth, many years away.

You live as long as you want.

>> Okay.

>> You see your family grow up the way they're supposed to.

You serve in other ways in your life.

But it's, you know, the last day.

For whatever reason, you've got to take all of your work with you.

The book, this conversation, anything you've ever shared that's been recorded -- it's got to go somewhere else.

It's hypothetical.

>> Okay.

>> So we don't have access to your content or your message.

It's all gone to the next place.

But you get to write down three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life -- personal, military, adversities, triumphs -- and three lessons you would share with the rest of the world.

And that's all we have to remember you by.

What would be those three truths for you?

>> [ Exhales sharply ] Number one would be this is not a dress rehearsal.

You got one shot at this life.

It's truly a gift, and it could end at any moment.

We have, I believe, an obligation to live a life of both happiness and success.

So this is not a dress rehearsal would be number one.

Number two, I would say when you invest in others, you're investing in yourself.

I think us as humans have -- most, anyway -- a natural desire and instinct to serve.

And by doing so, we actually build ourselves up.

You can actually look at service as a somewhat selfish act, because we end up being just as much, if not more fulfilled and impacted by our service to others.

And then lastly, I'll say you brought up love.

I'll say it sounds negative, but I'll say love is not enough.

>> Mm.

>> Love is an emotion.

It's powerful.

However, without a deep respect for another individual, without an understanding of yourself, their values, yours, how those align, in my opinion, I don't think it's enough to last.

That may sound like a negative way to cap that off, man, but I will stick by it.

>> I love that.

I mean, I have a video out there that says love is not enough.

You need values, vision, and lifestyle.

>> That's a better way to put it.

>> Right?

You need the alignment in a relationship at least of shared values, vision, and lifestyle for, you know, along with respect and other things.

But if you don't have the same values or they're opposites, if you don't have the same, you know, lifestyle, they're opposites, and a shared vision of where you're heading -- you're going in two different directions -- it's just gonna be a lot more challenging.

>> Yeah.

>> A lot of friction.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> So I was trying to minimize the friction and create that alignment.

So I think it's a beautiful match.

>> I'm gonna add a fourth one.

>> Give it.

>> And I said it at least once already, but when it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal.

>> I love that.

>> Final question -- what's your definition of greatness?

>> My definition of greatness?

Oh, man, that's a good one.

I'd say having set our sights on multiple ambitious goals, achieving them with consistency, and doing so while happy.

If you do that, I think that you've reached the realm of greatness.

>> Mm.

My man.

Nick, thanks, brother.

Powerful.

>> Good talking, man.

>> My man.

>> I appreciate it.

>> We hope you enjoyed this episode and found it valuable.

Stay tuned for more from "The School of Greatness" coming soon on public television.

Again, I'm Lewis Howes.

And if no one has told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

Now it's time to go out there and do something great.

If you'd like to continue on the journey of greatness with me, please check out my website lewishowes.com, where you'll find over 1,000 episodes of "The School of Greatness" show, as well as tools and resources to support you in living your best life.

>> The online course Find Your Greatness is available for $19.

Drawn from the lessons Lewis Howes shares in "The School of Greatness," this interactive course will guide you through a step-by-step process to discover your strengths, connect to your passion and purpose, and help create your own blueprint for greatness.

To order, go to lewishowes.com/tv.

♪ ♪ ♪