- [Announcer] Funding for NJ Spotlight News provided by the members of the New Jersey Education Association, making public schools great for every child.

And RWJ Barnabas Health.

Let's be healthy together.

[dramatic music] [dramatic music continues] From NJ PBS studios, this is NJ Spotlight News with Briana Vannozzi.

- Good evening and welcome to a special edition of NJ Spotlight News on this Christmas.

I'm Briana Vannozzi.

Over the last year or so, we've had the incredible opportunity to introduce you to New Jerseyans who are making a difference in their communities in extraordinary ways.

Through our digital documentary film series 21.

21 profiles, one person in each of our 21 counties and the series examines the simple question of does where you live in the state affect how you live?

Tonight, it's bittersweet because we're introducing you to our final change maker in the 21 series, Union County's Kashinda Marche.

Kashinda is living with HIV.

She's struggled with mental health issues, but along the way, discovering her authentic self.

This fueled her mission to combat the stigma and ignite her passion for community outreach in Rahway, empowering others through daily affirmations and self-belief, proving that resiliency defines us, not always the challenges we face or the diagnosis we're given.

Meet Kashinda.

- Get it together.

Get it together.

We can do this.

Hey girl.

Today is a day we are thankful for.

Oh, and you are here.

So let's get ourselves aligned and ready.

Right?

Think about all the others.

All the other warriors out there, right?

That's fighting their way through.

And it helps you to know, to keep going, right?

Yes, Kashinda, keep going.

Oh, we got to spend time together.

And I tell you, I like spending time with you.

I didn't used to, but I like it now.

And there you go, girl.

Let's go get 'em.

I choose to define myself as more than a diagnosis.

I will not allow any diagnosis to become a barrier in my path.

[low pensive music] I was born and raised in Newark, in Irvington, New Jersey, and I raised my daughter in Maplewood, New Jersey.

Jersey was my life.

I think I was a natural born storyteller.

Ironically, I was a good writer.

But I didn't like my voice.

I had this crave putting words together.

You're finding out the emotion that these words can elicit.

- So without further ado, I'd love for us to put our hands together and give Rahway's own, author, facilitator and my mother, Kashinda T. Marche.

[audience applauds] - This will be my first time introducing my work of art.

I was diagnosed with HIV in 1995.

I was 19 years old and I just had my daughter some months prior.

Receiving that diagnosis, it's nearly indescribable.

It created a grief inside of me.

But I had this baby that I loved more than I loved myself.

And I knew I had to get up and be whatever it was that I could be for my daughter.

She was born HIV negative.

And still is today.

There was a time clock of my life.

I'm caught between, I have to raise this kid, but I'm going to die at any moment.

We lost Asia's dad.

She was about three years old.

My mental health declined.

No one knew.

I was so good at the storytelling.

I was so good at wearing multiple masks.

And that's not something to be proud of.

It was the only way I can keep from taking myself out.

And I tried that on multiple occasions, and that didn't work.

There was a moment that I realized that I gotta love myself.

I learned how to be HIV positive and honest, I learned how to love myself.

I learned how to be a parent in a healthy way.

I do believe mental health is overlooked.

We live in a society where the stigma of mental health is still there.

To become mentally well it has to become a lifestyle, something to work towards.

I make it my business to create every single day.

I never thought I was going to be a professional writer.

Writing can be very cathartic.

And so the reaction that you would get from this book, people saying, "Woah.

This hit."

It was a way to help me become me.

That book did its job.

If it only touched one person in the world and it changed them or shifted their mindset in some kind of way, then I as the author and God as the Creator, we did that.

Positive self-talk, my affirmations, listening to others' affirmations.

Doing things that I love.

Conversations with my mom and with my daughter.

That helps keep me mentally well.

- Okay.

That's a nice photo there.

We have lots of them.

- Oh the extra ones.

- Yeah, yeah.

- To have that generational healing take place.

And it could be as simple as us just chilling right now, looking through our pictures and just kind of kick in.

- Doing things related to, like, Kreative on Purpose or building up people's self-esteem.

Like, I was the first girl, so to speak, and I feel like that's just like hitting now when I see you, like, out about doing stuff and I hear people talking about, like the work you're doing, I'm like, Hey, I got got that early.

Like, look how blessed I am.

- Yes, Kreative on Purpose, finding creative ways to be mentally well.

- And in 2020, when it was all crazy, this all you started is, oh my God.

- Kreative on Purpose so special because it was built on resilience.

It was built through challenges.

It was built from a person that knows what it's like to not love themselves, but want to love themselves.

[energetic hopeful music] [energetic hopeful music continues] We specifically work at building up your confidence, your self esteem, your belief in yourself.

We are here to listen to any challenges that you may be having.

Everything is all about affirmations.

Ya'll heard about affirmations?

Those powerful statements that you say what I like to call, make your dreams come true.

- I am worthy of love and acceptance just as I am.

- Just as you are.

Do you believe that?

- Yes.

- Declare that own that.

I do consider myself a long term HIV survivor in the HIV community, period.

It's been 25 plus years for me.

I am surviving HIV.

I'm surviving.

Present tense.

A part of me does this for the other long term survivors, because it's a day by day thing that we got to keep holding on.

I have affirmations for the day for you.

You read that to yourself and you accept it and you own it.

You have to start with a mental commitment to yourself.

By giving yourself that you are opening up a big, big, big door with a lot of different things behind it.

[slow uneasy music] [slow uneasy music continues] Union County is definitely expanding.

It's a good thing to see.

Where you live definitely affects how you live, and they definitely affect your mental health as well.

We have the freedoms and liberties to live where we want to live.

And I try to stay away from better or worst or good or bad.

The community its just different.

I'm blessed.

I live my life off affirmations in the most powerful way of describing yourself is I am.

And so I am becoming the best that God wants me to be.

I am strength.

I am light.

I am love.

Those are the things that define me, not mentally ill. Not HIV positive, not disabled.

Those things play a part.

They are part of me, but I choose not to let them define me.

[gentle pensive music] - Well, I had the opportunity to meet Kashinda in person, spend time with her and talk more about her mission.

Here's our conversation.

Kashinda, I'm so honored to get to talk to you.

You have lived quite a life.

How do you go from, I've heard you describe it as being a confused, scared, mad, about some of the health issues that you've gone through, to becoming a voice of empowerment?

- It was quite, or is quite the journey, one that I never really could have imagined for my life.

There was a moment where I felt I had no future.

And so that was a pretty dark place.

And so to go from all the things that go along with living in such a dark place, because I can go on and on about that.

But that transition, that moment when you begin to see yourself as worthy and you get to start believing in yourself that you can be bigger, you can be better, you can do better.

And when you finally see yourself as being more than any diagnosis or any illness or any stigma, when you can begin to see yourself as more than that, your whole world changes, the whole world around you changes.

And so for me, I feel like to have experienced such a gift, even with all the bad things that you know happened, I owe it to the next person that may be living in such a dark place or not have that belief in themselves, or I feel like they are worthy to be loved.

I owe it to them to be an example that no, you are worthy, you are enough, you are beautiful, you know, you deserve love and you can be better.

- And you do that now for other women and girls.

You give them these mental wellness tools you call them, which I really like.

It's not mental health tools, mental wellness tools.

What do you do in the nonprofit that you created and how do you see that really giving this generation of folks who have challenges in front of them, the ability to not just overcome, but to live their best life?

- Yes.

Yes.

Well, first of all, you have to recognize that the creation of Kreative on Purpose, - [Briana] That's your non-profit.

- That's the name of the non-profit, Kreative with a K on Purpose, right?

And you said it, we provide mental wellness tools.

Mental wellness is so much more than just your mental capacity.

It is the link to every other part of life.

And so we feel like by creatively offering different tools that can help you build your self-esteem, learn about self-esteem, find your own voice going down the road of self-discovery, self-awareness.

If we can help build your confidence and your strength in these areas, then you become unstoppable, you know?

And that is the main mission.

The main mission is to show you that may be feeling like a nobody, basically, that you are a somebody.

- And you do that how?

Affirmations, showing them that you have it within yourself to bring out these positive parts of your life to look for the silver lining?

How do you do it?

- Well, affirmations are a big part of it.

And that's because affirmations became a really big part of my life.

Once I made the decision that I was going to work on feeling better about myself and accepting the fact or recognizing that there is purpose for my life, once I made that decision, I had to constantly remind myself of it.

So how do you do that?

You, you speak it into existence.

This is what I learned.

I'm a true believer of manifestation.

And so affirmations are a part of it.

A big part of it is just leading by example, just kind of demonstrating and owning my story in a way to where I'm not ashamed of it anymore.

And I think that that is the best way to kind of show people themselves.

You're not gonna show everyone themselves, but those that can relate and those that feel a certain level of spiritual connection, it's life changing for them.

And that that's the best thing that I can do and put forward is just living the life that God has purpose for me, because I mean, there's been countless times.

I mean, I faced death so many occasions.

- When you were diagnosed with HIV as a new mom, you went through multiple brain surgeries.

You lost your ability to walk.

You use a wheelchair now for quite a few years.

- Yes, since 2019, it was official that my legs just totally was like, "Okay, that's it."

You know, a couple years prior to that, I had a little slow walk.

I was using mobility aids, walker and a cane.

And, I mean, that adjustment, it just has been starting over, readjustment, realignment, like one after another, after another, after another.

- A lot of people would've just been like, "I'm down.

I'm out."

- Yeah.

I mean, I've been there, I've been there multiple times.

But something deep inside of me kept lifting me up because I knew I didn't have the strength to do it.

So I know that my voice, I know that the wisdom, because wisdom is different than knowledge, and the wisdom of just learning from my experiences, but also learning from others is a big part of it as well.

And I used to be one that spoke more than I listened.

- I think a lot of us are guilty of that.

- Yeah.

I was that one.

Until I found how wonderful it is to just be honored to have someone share a piece of themselves with you.

So now I listen more than I speak.

Sometimes you can't tell, [Briana laughs] but I do, you know?

And that's something that you give a person.

Like people that feel unheard, when you finally give them a moment to be heard, it is life changing, not just for you, for them- - [Briana] Validation.

- It's life changing for those that witness it.

- And so I have to ask then, how did growing up in Union County shape how you pursued your life to get to this point?

- Well, technically, I grew up in Newark.

My parents moved to Union County quite some time ago.

And so I was kind of visiting.

We were right on the outskirts, right at the tip of Essex County, where I raised my daughter, in Maplewood.

But I was always in Union County.

I received services from from Union County, 'cause there were times in my life where I had to live with my parents, these health ups and downs.

And so Union County showed me... Like Union County, certain pockets of it just makes you feel like, I don't know, old school community- - [Briana] Like a village.

- Where people knew... Yeah, where faces are familiar.

It's not so much traffic coming through that you don't get to see a face more than once, right?

And I love that.

I love that people, you get to recognize people and then people get to recognize you.

And for me, that's community.

And so outside of my younger, younger years in like the projects of Newark, that was community, right?

But in a different way.

And then fast forward to adult years, and finding a community in Union County a different way.

It's kind of like, I mean, it's just a good experience to be able to have like that contrast, you know, and then- - To know that you belong, that you have that to fall back on, to rely on.

- Yes.

And there's so many resources and things available, and I just, I appreciate, you know, just for me, it's a blessing to have been able to live a little bit of here, a little bit of there, my daughter, she experiencing a little bit of this, a little bit of that, you know, kinda kind of adds flavor to the whole thing.

And you just become more rounded, when you get to experience different ways of life.

Not necessarily that one is better than the other, you know, we just have different ways of life.

- Kashinda, you are a blessing to everyone you've been able to help.

Thank you for sharing your story and thank you so much for being part of this 21 series.

- Oh, thank you.

It's been a wonderful experience.

I appreciate it, and thank you for having me.

- You can see Kashinda's story and experience all the other 20 extraordinary New Jersey residents profiled in the 21-film series at mynjpbs.org/21.

We are so grateful for the opportunity to bring you their stories.

Here is a quick look at some of the other characters we've profiled - [Person] New Jersey, we are the garden state.

We should elevate that.

What that means is you have to get more involved.

It just feels incredible.

- [Person] How do you say, "I really don't feel like doing that"?

That's impossible.

- [Person] It's not about me, it's not about no individual, it's about all of us.

of us here at the NJ Spotlight News team, - And that is going to do it for us tonight.

I'm Briana Vannozzi.

For all of us here at the NJ Spotlight News team, thanks for being with us.

Have a wonderful Christmas holiday.

We'll see you back here tomorrow.

[bright music] - [Announcer] NJM Insurance Group, serving the insurance needs of residents and businesses for more than 100 years.

And by the PSEG Foundation.

Major funding for the 21 film series is in part provided by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

Additional funding is provided by the PSEG Foundation.

- [Announcer] NJM Insurance Group has been serving New Jersey businesses for over a century.

As part of the garden state, we help companies keep their vehicles on the road, employees on the job, and projects on track, working to protect employees from illness and injury, to keep goods and services moving across the state.

We are proud to be part of New Jersey.

NJM.

We've got New Jersey covered.

- [Announcer] If you need to see a doctor, RWJ Barnabas Health has two easy ways to do it from anywhere.

You can see an urgent care provider 24/7 on any device with our telemed app, or use our website to book a virtual visit with an RWJ Barnabas Health Medical Group provider or specialist, even as a new patient.

You've taken every precaution, and so have we.

So don't delay your care any longer.

RWJ Barnabas Health, let's be healthy together.

- [Julia] Have some water.

Look at these kids.

What do you see?

I see myself.

I became an ESL teacher to give my students what I wanted when I came to this country.

The opportunity to learn, to dream, to achieve, a chance to belong, and to be an American.

My name is Julia Toriani Crompton and I'm proud to be an NJEA member.

- [Announcer] Our future relies on more than clean energy.

Our future relies on empowered communities, the health and safety of our families and neighbors, of our schools and streets.

The PSEG Foundation is committed to sustainability, equity, and economic empowerment.

Investing in parts, helping towns go green, supporting civic centers, scholarships, and workforce development that strengthen our community.

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