[Music] Lakeland Currents, your public affairs program for north central Minnesota.

Closed captioning is made possible by Bemidji Regional Airport, serving the region with daily flights to Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport.

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Welcome to Lakeland Currents, I'm Todd Haugen.

Our guests on this show are from the Northwoods Battered Women's Shelter of Bemidji.

They are the Executive Director Chris Latzke and the Board Chair Rebecca Stone.

Welcome to Lakeland Currents.

Thanks for having us Todd.

The Northwoods Battered Women's Shelter has been in existence in Bemidji for a really long time, started in 1979, is that correct?

We were put together, our board, we were first founded in 1978 and our facility we moved into, we moved into in 1979, and we've been in that same building ever since.

And we have definitely outgrown this space.

So you were pretty much outgrown, you mean, you had grown past it probably right from the beginning I would assume.

I would imagine.

We are really looking forward to finding in our new facility but the work that we do is beyond just shelter.

So we've been able to make do with what we can.

What's the capacity of the current building?

So currently we can shelter up to 12 residents.

That's intimate partner violence victims and survivors, whether it's women, children.

We do have a contract with a hotel that we can do overflow with but we are typically full in the shelter all the time now with that capacity of 12.

That's 12 people altogether, sometimes there are women and children that come, right?

Definitely.

Sometimes we have up to five or seven children at a time with their moms there in the shelter.

So what happens if there are people that need to use the shelter and you're full?

So, like I said, we have that contract with a hotel where we can do overflow for a night or two.

We have sister shelters all over the state.

We work with a program called Day One down in St Paul where everybody's on this website and we can look at openings.

So there are shelters that are close.

We partner with like Dove over on White Earth, there's a shelter over in Thief River, Red Lake has a women's shelter, Duluth, St Cloud.

There's a new one over in Akeley.

So we call around, it's not like somebody comes to the door and we just close the door and say sorry, goodbye.

We make referrals, we call around, we work the best we can.

We work really well with law enforcement in town, with other agencies to really help find a space, a safe space, for the victims.

The number of shelters has certainly grown but it's not like there's one in every town, is there?

Definitely not.

It's really tough up here in such a rural area and as you know with Bemidji, even though the population is around 14,000, the amount of people that we support in the area is about 50,000 with all of the smaller areas and so we really do have a big area that we support.

And there are people who are turned away because not everyone is going to want to leave their community to have to find shelter.

And so sometimes people will have family members or friends.

But one of the tools of intimate partner violence that's often used is isolation and so we'll often we have people who they have nowhere else to turn but us, and since we don't have a bed for them it's really hard to say well, you're going to have to leave your community and go to one of these other shelters.

So it puts us in a hard position, but mostly it puts the victims of intimate partner violence in an impossible situation.

Because they may not be able to go to a different community, right?

Correct.

Transportation is always a barrier.

We try and bridge that as best we can, but that's not, again you know, if you've got a job or you want to get your kids and your kids are in school, uprooting your family is a big ask and so trying to work with people as best we can but also recognizing that uprooting yourself from your community is an additional barrier.

And I would assume even to call your shelter in the first place is a big step for women and then to possibly have to be told well we're full, we can't help you right now, that's got to be really tough, a tough thing on top of a situation that's already pretty bad.

Yeah and that is a hard thing for the victims, that is a hard thing for our shelter staff because the people who are working with our organization are there because they want to help and so having to tell someone who is in crisis that we don't have room for you is a really hard thing for our advocates to have to be able to say to someone.

That said, it's just good that we have a shelter.

I mean we're ahead of some towns because we at least have this facility and it's been here for a really long time.

Now the name pretty much says what you do, Northwoods Battered Women's Shelter, but what kinds of situations are these women that call for services in?

So I actually think our name doesn't give justice to the work that we do.

We don't just serve women, we serve people of all genders.

Intimate partner violence doesn't discriminate and neither do we.

We have we serve men, we serve people who are non-binary or trans, and we will try and do that in the way that is most appropriate for their particular situation, whether that's a hotel voucher or if we can find a way to help them stay in their home and have the abuser excluded from the home.

And so we have advocates who work in the legal system, who work doing community outreach, education, and so we really do more than just house people.

Also, when someone is staying at the shelter, we work hard to help them for the limited amount of time that they can stay in our shelter.

We really work hard to help them have a plan for when their 60 days is up so that we can really make sure that they've got a safe place to land, and our advocates are incredible at doing that.

So you can redirect people sometimes for counseling services here, there, or somewhere, but there must be certain circumstances under which you say, now this person needs shelter.

What kinds of circumstances will indicate that you need to try to admit them to your shelter?

Well, we have our 24-hour crisis line, and which we have advocates answering the phone, and you know when we get the call, and they do the intake over the phone, and a person that is calling qualifies for services, if we have an open bed we work to either get them transportation, say they're coming from another part of the state St Cloud or somewhere else, we work with Day One like I said and we work through Jefferson Lines and sometimes get them a bus ticket here.

We do have a van that we can, if it's safe to go, have an advocate pick the person up.

We don't ever have them go to like a person's home because we don't put the staff in that kind of situation.

But we get them there, do the intake, go through all that, get them settled in their bed or their room and, you know, typically if they qualify over the phone we take, you know, that at their word for that they qualify when they get there, so, you know, we ask them if they're safe at the moment and try to get them there.

Sometimes it's just not safe where they're at and they have to call back or they have to call multiple times.

I mean the statistics are a person in intimate partner violence or domestic violence will leave about eight times and go back and whether they're going back because they need child care.

they need their partner for financial reasons or there's many different reasons why people go back and leave but it is sometimes a long process and we have to be patient and non-judgmental and just be there for support, have a safety plan in place.

But like Rebecca said we do so much more at the shelter.

We have a food pantry there, we have clothing and blankets and shoes.

We have vouchers through Goodwill where if somebody's staying there has to go for a job interview and needs an outfit.

Even when they leave after their 60 days we have like moms come back and we have the food pantry, we can help with food, gas vouchers, help with phone minutes, things like that.

Sometimes when people are fleeing they leave with just the clothes on their back so starting completely over, even come back with nothing.

So, you know, we help them, you know, whether it's with furniture, whether it's with dishes, things like that, get settled in their home.

We've had a couple of really good success stories lately that really almost bring me to tears of moms with kids and they come back, because at Christmas time we have a little store down in the basement and they can come pick out new toys that have been donated whether it's from one of the local schools or churches and just have a nice Christmas for their kids.

So we do so much more than just do the sheltering piece.

60 days they can stay?

Yes.

It was one of the next things I wanted to ask about.

I would assume that questions that you two get, I would think the most common question would be why do people keep going back?

Well I think the right question is not why do people keep going back but why do people keep abusing?

And so putting that onus on the victim, who is trying everything they can to keep themselves and their children safe.

And sometimes that might be, you know there are so many ways to control someone, through financial means, through isolation, and so all of these things are at play and so I think often times it is our impulse to think well, why does that person keep going back to their abuser, when really as a society we need to shift that lens and that focus away from why do they go back to why do they abuse.

And so trying to change the lens entirely and the education and making sure that people aren't using power and control in intimate partner relationships that we can teach equality in relationships and that give and take.

That is what we all hope for when we are hoping for an intimate partner relationship.

Sure, but the fact that they do go back often I think sheds light on part of the process that the abuser has engaged in in the conditioning process and making a person feel like hey, this isn't my fault, you're the one that's doing this, you have to come back to me because you're not going to have any choices and you did this after all.

I mean that's what I find upsetting is that these guys are pretty good at this conditioning process.

Absolutely, master manipulators, absolutely.

And so making sure that our focus is not trying to figure out why someone is going back beyond helping them to eliminate some of those barriers.

So when I have someone who is saying that if I don't go back I don't have anyone to watch my kids while I can go to work, then we think okay well the problem is child care so let's try and find a solution around child care.

If the issue is housing or so trying to find those other ways and our job really is to always keep an open mind and an open door and so not judge someone when they do, if they do, decide to go back and be ready to take them back the next time.

And maybe that'll be their eight, maybe that'll be the time that that they can be done.

If someone is watching this edition of Lakeland Currents and they're thinking, you know, I'm kind of wondering if my partner is doing some of these things to me, how does the process typically start?

Of identifying where you are?

Of realizing that you are actually becoming a person that's being manipulated and conditioned and you're being abused but it's probably about to get a lot worse?

Yeah and one of the ways that, one of the tools that I have used when I'm working with people who are victims of intimate partner violence and, you know, they are the frog in the boiling water, it doesn't start on day one.

You know that person that you are seeing is charming and love bombing and doing all the right things, but it starts one piece at a time and one of the tools that I've really found helpful is the power and control wheel and it really does sort of show the different ways of manipulation that aren't violence.

There's so many ways to control people that aren't violence.

Controlling money, using your privilege to hold over someone, isolation.

So all of these little incremental things that build over time can really just wear on, wear a person down.

And so when and if it does raise to the level of violence, that abuse has probably been going on for a very long time in different ways.

And it might not start with violence right, it may not start start with being struck.

Absolutely.

It very rarely starts with violence, in my experience.

I find that the isolation, and that can be, you know, it can be done in so many ways I think is one of the bigger clues of a bigger problem.

Right.

It is just one piece of a bigger problem that might be going on in a relationship, in a family.

And typically the abuser, when called on his abuse, I have to assume will say I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore, I'll change, I'm not going to, I'm a new person now.

And there's a cycle to it and you can see it when you've been and it can be helpful to point that out to someone when they can start to see that cycle of, you know, maybe it'll you can think of the cycle starting with a physically violent incident and then the apology and then there's this honeymoon period where everything is great and that rebuilding of that love bombing and that keeping going with making sure that person feels secure again.

And so then maybe the manipulations will start happening again and the lies and it'll escalate again into the next violent outburst.

And so trying to help someone see that cycle in themselves can be a really helpful tool to help someone get to a place where they're ready to change their life and move on.

Are there realistic ways to help the abuser to make him or her change their ways?

I think there are but that's not our job.

Beltrami County does have a domestic violence court and is a dedicated court.

There's a few of those around the state and the nation.

But they do if someone is criminally charged with domestic violence, they have better intervention programming and one of our grants is through that domestic violence court.

So we'll work with the victims in that court system and they do better intervention programming which is basically group counseling about this process and how this happens.

Again we're not experts on that and it's not something that we focus on but we do partner with organizations that do that work.

You just wonder about the abuser because when you help people, and it's a great mission that's so extremely important, but that abuser person heads off into some other direction and I mean who's to say that that person's going to change his ways.

In any event, security must be a big event or big issue at the shelter.

Has the shelter been pretty safe?

Up until, well we've been in the shelter 45 years, we've been in a not disclosed, although by this point people probably know because we've been around so long, we don't give out the address.

We try to keep it pretty secure, we have cameras all around the whole facility and we haven't had to call the police a whole lot in the two and a half years I've been there.

But I can tell you they get there really quick when we call them cuz we're just right down the street and they're there with a matter of a couple minutes, so I feel pretty secure where we're at.

And in the new facility I know we're going to have a state-of-the art security system as well with cameras around the whole thing and a fence up to protect the privacy of the victims and survivors there.

And we really do have an incredible partnership with law enforcement, they have been great.

Historically we have not had any then in my knowledge we've not had any real issues with them in the last 10-20 years and they bring people to us.

When we call they immediately show up, they're an incredible partner with us.

Good to hear.

So what's the situation like with building a new shelter, you have a site picked out?

We do, we do.

We've owned this site for many years, to be fair I actually don't remember how long we've owned this particular piece of land, it predates my time on the board and I've been on the board for about eight years now and it is close to Sanford, it is close to grocery stores, close to the facilities that we need which is helpful because transportation is such a barrier and so we're excited about that and we have a design and we're breaking ground in the spring.

The new facility is going to allow us to house twice as many people and do it in a way that allows a bit more privacy.

Currently one of the things that is a point of conflict amongst the people who are residing with us is the bathroom facilities.

Everyone kind of has to just share two bathrooms, including staff, and, you know, heck some days I don't even want to share a bathroom with my husband and I like him very much.

So being in a traumatic situation with your kids and then there's other people's kids around and you're trying to heal and they're trying to heal and you all have to share a bathroom it can be really hard.

And so the new facility will have a more almost hotel style.

So each family unit will have their own restroom and if we have single women who are sharing or single people who are sharing a room those individuals will share one bathroom and so, you know, it will just be a few people sharing a bathroom instead of 12 people sharing one bathroom.

And then we'll have a community kitchen facility that everyone can use.

We have one right now too, but the new one will definitely have more space available to everyone.

We'll have a lot more space for our advocates to be able to work with our community outreach and the community people.

Because we serve more people than we house.

So we have a lot of people coming in and out who have safe places to live but still need services for intimate partner violence.

Currently our staff is, I keep joking with Chris we're going to have to start bunking desks because I don't know where else we're going to put anyone else, so the staff is really just on top of each other and then that creates a situation where there's really no community space for people either who are living there to be able to have, you know, group therapy sessions or have any sort of community to help each other out so.

Will you have to have increased staff in the new facility?

I don't believe we will, we'll just have more space.

Like right now to do intakes we have to bump people out of offices.

We have our community resource advocate that Rebecca talked about earlier that does court with participant,s she also does orders for protection and harassment orders, so those take up to a couple hours and she'll have to kick her office mate out so there's confidentiality there.

We have people that come walk in sometimes off the street or things like that or doing safety plans, so it's really tough with the small space we have.

We'll have a bigger space but I don't believe we'll have to have more staffing for it.

Okay and women will still be able to bring some kids with them, is there a limit to the number of kids they can bring?

We have not limited the number of children that someone can bring to the shelter.

And that will still be the case.

Yes, that'll still be the case.

Yeah, you know, the rooms will each have two beds in it, or two bunk beds in it, and if we need to bring in cots or we need to bring in other things to house a family unit together then we can absolutely do that.

Is the shelter, the new shelter, all set to go, is the project all funded and ready?

No we are still fundraising.

We have raised $2.8 million to date.

Our goal is $4 million, so we are getting very close.

We have a lot of it is through grants but now we're really turning to the community to kind of get us up over that edge, over that goal line so that we can really make this a true reality.

But we have no doubts that this is going to happen.

This is such a generous and incredible community and I have no doubts that we're going to make this happen.

To reach 2.8 million you must have had some pretty generous donations already.

Oh absolutely.

We had, like Rebecca said, some foundations in town, some very, very generous community donors.

It's been a whirlwind, it happened really quick.

Within a couple years the people came forward.

We had some amazing fundraising events.

We have a couple coming up, a fundraising dinner on February 12th and we have our Groundbreaking Gala on May 17th at the Hampton Inn.

And like Rebecca said, we know this is going to happen.

We've set the date, we've hired our construction manager Kraus Anderson.

So much is going on behind the scenes.

We have our banner up over there.

The exciting part is we own the property we have.

We're working with our architects and our construction managers and they're doing RFP's for the contract, so it's moving quickly, really quickly behind the scenes.

Her and I meet every other week with that team to kind of go over, we're kind of working on the interior parts now, the color schemes and all that, so this is really happening.

Yeah and this right now feels like it's all happening so fast but this process has not been fast.

I've been working on this project for the eight years that I've been on the board and really for the last six we've really been pushing the board.

At the time went and visited facilities all over the state and in a couple other states to see what other intimate partner violence shelters were doing and what was working for them and if they had to do it all over again what would they do different.

And we really did take that information to bring to this build and this facility and our architects really did listen to us when we had a charrette process about ,was that four years ago now, and we came up with the design concept and we've refined it since then and parts of it feel like this has been happening for a long time and parts of this feel like this is flying by and I'm just so excited that this is a reality for our community that is happening this year.

What will the building look like, will it look like a house?

No it'll look more, it is one story, the front of the building is more community facing and then the back of the building is more housing.

We're trying to make sure that it is a warm and welcoming place but also trying to make, you know, make sure that it is functional for the work that we need to do.

And so it's been an interesting give and take to try and figure out how to make this happen, how to make it not just be a box on the corner, too, give it some character and to be careful with the money.

We want to make sure that we are using the money that has been generously donated respectfully and responsibly so that we are best serving the clients that we're working with.

So there's definitely been some things that we really kind of wanted on our dream list that we've pulled back on because we want to make sure that we're doing this in a responsible way for our donors.

So this construction begins right after the May 17th event at the Hampton?

Well that'll depend on the weather welcome, this is Bemidji.

Minnesota, so you know it's going to be 50 degrees today, January 31st, so we'll see what spring holds.

We will have our official groundbreaking before that event on that same day, but no, whether the actual construction happens before or after that we're not sure, but the ceremonial groundbreaking will happen that same day.

And how long will it take to build?

We've been given an estimate of about eight or nine months, but again, it's construction, so that's not my forte so we'll see how that goes.

But we have some really incredible experts who we've been working with and we very much trust them in this process.

Okay, how do people contribute if they want to help?

So we have our website it's mnshelter.org There's a Give MN button on there.

We have people that donate there all the time.

People stop by with checks.

You can mail them to our Post Office Box 563 Bemidji, Minnesota.

They can go on that website also and if they're not coming to that fundraiser dinner on the 12th they can also donate on there.

There's so many ways.

Like I said, if you even call the shelter number, the 218-444-1395 and talk to somebody definitely.

I mean we've had people call that way and say I'm going to mail a check there or I'm going to be dropping off a check.

So there's many, many ways.

Well I hope you get lots of those in the very near future.

And on your website there are crisis line numbers for people that need your services, that's how they should reach you, correct.

Sure.

Yes absolutely.

Well very good.

I'm really happy that you came in for the show, you work on an incredibly important cause and thanks for your good work.

From the Northwoods Battered Women's Shelter our guests, the director Chris Latzke and board chair Rebecca Stone.

Thanks for being on Lakeland Currents.

Thank you so much.

Thanks.

Thanks for joining us for this show, we'll see you next time.