♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati Texas: Good glorious morning to you and welcome to "Old Town Art Crawl, Kinetic Edition."

Today, we're on the Arcata Plaza for Day 1 of the Kinetic Grand Championship 2022 and I can't wait to show you what's going on.

male: Here we go.

♪♪♪ Kati: Hello, Funguy.

Welcome back to the glory.

Brian "Funguy" Slayton: Happy glory.

Kati: What's your theme this year?

Funguy: We are the Hot Rod Lincoln Loggers, driving to drinking.

And I say "Driving to Drinking" 'cause we've gotta wait 'til we get to the finish line for that kind of fun but we will.

That'll make us pedal faster.

Kati: So tell me, what is your favorite part of Day 1?

Funguy: Day 1, the best part is Dead Man's Drop, 'cause I bomb it, no brakes, 'cause, you know, we like to say, "Brakes have never stopped us before."

And so we just hit it hard and fast and we've always done well, so that's the best part, next to the finish line, probably.

Kati: Right, all right.

All right, well, best of luck today.

Funguy: Thank you.

♪♪♪ Kati: What glorious artwork.

Good morning, Pilot.

Robert van de Walle: Good morning, Kati.

Kati: What is your art theme?

Robert: We are the humpbacks of Notre Dame.

Kati: And is this because the ocean has risen all the way into the cathedral?

Robert: In the year--by the year 2069, all the oceans--all the world's ice has melted and the cathedral is partially submerged.

Whales have taken up residency in the Notre Dame Cathedral and Team Pineapple is there to record and document it and bring this inflation back to 2022.

Kati: You're going for Grand Champ, huh?

Robert: We are going for Grand Champ.

And for glory.

Kati: Always for glory, of course.

Well, very good luck to you, Steed, and fluffy teddybears and everything.

Robert: Thank you, God bless.

♪♪♪ Kati: What's your favorite part of Day 1?

Kristoffer "Princess Herold" Taylor: Well, favorite part of Day 1 is being here and allowing the spectators to witness the insanity that we go through without having to go through the insanity themselves of building the sculptures, creating the art, doing all the things, but we're here and, in the spirit of Hobart Brown, adults such as us, gray hairs and all, having fun so kids wanna grow up.

Kati: Thank you so much.

♪♪♪ Kati: Well, you're waiting to do -- high.

What's your team?

Christina Cortez: Flame Mengo and the Piley Coyotes.

Kati: The Piley Coyotes?

All right, have you done the race before?

Christina: Fifi has done the race 16 times but this is her first voyage as Flame Mengo.

She's been reincarnated.

Kati: Oh, this is Fifi.

Christina: This is Fifi.

Kati: Fifi, you're cute but you're still a bad dog.

♪♪♪ Kati: We are here with Rutabaga Queen, Sir Robotica, because you're not a professor yet.

Robert "Robot" Adams: I'm not a professor yet.

I've never completed a full race.

Kati: Are you trying to earn your professorship?

Are you trying to earn your ace today?

Robot: I am working on my ace.

I've been here for 20 years, I have not completed a full race.

Kati: I know that there's a category in the art judging for color.

So how do you think you're gonna do in that score?

Robot: I've got all of the colors, all your favorite colors are here.

Kati: Definitely, definitely.

♪♪♪ Kati: I'm really impressed with the size of the crowd that is out here, despite the fact that it is--it is raining, it is coming down.

Just missing Kinetic so much, they will put up with a lot.

Ordinarily, if it was this rainy, people'd be like, "Oh, I'll just watch it livestream," but no, they made it to the plaza.

And that seems like the theme for this year is, you know, getting back to normal, getting back to what you love.

Just show up.

If this Kinetic crowd is any indication, we're coming back strong.

♪♪♪ Kati: Rampmeister, what the heck are you doing?

Blake Earhart: Trying not to get hit.

Kati: Can you explain brake test in, like, ten seconds or less?

Blake: Because of all the -- I gotta make sure they have brakes, I'm here to make sure they have brakes.

If they don't have brakes, sorry.

Kati: So they aim at you.

If they stop, they're fine, they can go.

If they hit you-- Blake: You're in trouble.

Kati: Okay.

Blake: They're in trouble.

Kati: And can we see the back of -- Rampmeister not a target.

Rampmeister is not a target.

♪♪♪ Kati: When it gets close to noon, they're going to ask all the spectators including us to get out of the street, get your feet off the street and on the inside ring of the Plaza, all the teams will be parked in their spaces.

All the pilots are going to go to the other side of the street.

And when the goddess decides that it's noon, they will set off this siren and the pilots will run across the street, jump into their sculptures, and then start going as quickly as they can.

So the crowd has to stay out of the way.

[siren sounding] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Here we are at Dead Man's Drop, the largest hazard on Day 1 of the Kinetic Grand Championship, and the Humpbacks of Notre Dame are coming up.

They're the first team to make it here to Dead Man's this year.

I can't wait to see them bomb down the other side.

It is a--it's a glorious hazard, it's super-dangerous, but also really fun, and I'm gonna get out of the way.

male: Take it, take it.

male: Are we good?

female: Wait, are we good?

female: Yup, you're good.

Kati: -- push, woo hoo.

Kati: Actually, what's happening here is that they are pushing that lazy pit crew person up the hill.

That is a push rope and that guy there, he's lazy and so they're pushing him all the way up to the top of Dead Man's Drop.

Kati: Well, I wanna ask about your strategy for Dead Man's Drop.

Are you gonna lock up the brakes?

Or are you gonna bomb it with momentum?

Dawn Thomas: We're gonna tie our honey badger to the back.

Kati: Okay, what does that mean?

Dawn: We got a honey badger.

We're not gonna reveal it until, you know, it's time to go down.

female: You can do it.

Looking glorious.

male: I'm gonna drag him down the hill.

Kati: So it's like you have an anchor, basically?

male: With a sand anchor.

Kati: A sand anchor?

And that's your strategy, is to use your honey badger to slow your progress, so you can creep down Dead Man's Drop?

male: I don't think so.

I think it's just for balance, just so we don't flip.

Dawn: We don't wanna flip.

male: Because the last time we did this, we actually ran over a cameraman.

So we wanna be very careful.

[cheering] Kati: We're here with Meredith Baku, the head medic for the Kinetic Grand Championship.

Meredith Baku: We have a crew of about 12 to 15 people, a lot of nurses, paramedics, EMTs, in their normal lives.

We're fully outfitted to provide basic first aid to anything that happens, control the scene, call regular EMS if we need to.

Kati: I think the medics are just another great example of how the whole community comes out behind Kinetic Grand Championship and how people are bringing some, like, really important, really specific skills to make this whole thing possible and safe and amazing and glorious for the whole community.

Meredith: I'm always surprised I can get 15 licensed people out here on their days off to come and support the Kinetic medics, but everybody's really passionate about it.

We have a ton of fun and it's worth it.

Kati: Team Plan B cresting the ridge just now.

I wonder if they started this art before or after we crowned a bee as Rutabaga Queen this year.

female: You say this thing seems like a bad idea?

female: They are underneath the machine.

Holy moly.

Kati: What you can see right here is a line of volunteers, closes in behind the machine, links arms and kneels down in front of the crowd to prevent the crowd from falling down Dead Man's Drop accidentally behind the machine which definitely used to happen.

Oh my God.

[cheering] male: Wow, yikes, oh wow.

male: This is what I wanted to see.

♪♪♪ Kati: All right, so that's it for Dead Man's Drop.

Many more teams have to pass.

They're gonna brave their way up and down that amazing sand dune.

So far, nobody has run into any trees.

We hope that all the teams this year are that lucky.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Hi, what's your name?

Peter Wagner: I'm Peter Wagner and this would have been my 16th start but I left Sacramento at 9 this morning.

Kati: Did--you didn't make the start of the--no, of course, you didn't see you--we didn't see you out there.

Peter: I would have been there but my son's exposure to COVID and stuff and so we've been doing this and that.

This was just to save--my friend called me this morning.

He says, "What you doing this weekend?"

"I wish I was in Humboldt."

And he says, "Well, let's go."

And he's--he can shuttle us.

Kati: Well, you made it.

So are you gonna do the water tomorrow?

Peter: Oh yes.

Kati: All right, well, we'll see you on the rest of the course.

Peter: Yes, ma'am.

Kati: Bouncing around, Bounce for Glory.

♪♪♪ Kati: We're here with the Godess Jenno.

She is the head judge and timer of the Kinetic Grand Championship.

So, Kinetic Universe runs the business, like, the non-profit that's insurance and porta potties and boring stuff like that.

This person runs the game.

Jenette "Godess Jen-O" Kine: Oh, the porta potties are not boring.

Did you see, I had my very own personal porta potty this year on the plaza.

It had my name on it and everything Kati: All right, so what do you look for in a team that's gonna win the Godess Jen-O Award?

Godess Jen-O: Well, they have to have spirit, you know, and glory and enjoy the race and enjoy all the spectators and just enjoy--even if they break down.

So, you know, you wanna have someone who just loves being at the race.

Kati: Day 1 of the Kinetic Grand Championship ends here in Halverson Park on the Eureka waterfront, across from the beautiful Eureka Live Art Wall.

The teams are gonna roll in, hopefully before the course close at 6:32.

The team that closes--that comes across the finish line first, after the course close gets the 6:32 Award which is a glorious and nefarious, kind of depending, in equal measure.

The teams will stay here overnight, or their machines will stay here overnight and the teams will pretend to camp here overnight but they'll probably go home and take a hot shower and then we will be back out in the morning at the Warfinger Building for Water Entry.

[cockerel crowing] ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Good luck, Livwrong.

♪♪♪ Kati: The Kinetic Grand Championship Day 2 starts with Water Entry here on the Eureka Waterfront where teams convert their sculptures into something that hopefully floats and maybe vie biggest splash.

[cheering] Kati: Not bad.

Kati: So we're here with Scott Cocking from "This is How We Roll," and you're on the picker, this machine, yeah?

Scott Cocking: Yup, we're pumping up pontoons and getting ready for the water.

Kati: So what does that mean, "pumping pontoons"?

I see foam, I see all kinds of stuff going on here.

Scott: These are our training wheels.

They keep us from flipping over 'cause we don't wanna pull a Duane Flatmo.

Kati: So it looks like the thing has been through the water before, yeah?

Is it tended?

Scott: Oh, it has seen the water.

We like to chase the kayakers because they sit around thinking we're not gonna get 'em and then we charge 'em and then they all spread out.

It's fun.

Kati: Can't wait to see it.

I'll go warn the kayakers.

Kati: Or move gently into the water.

Kati: Hi there, what's your name?

Michael Van Devender: Michael Van Devender.

We're the peace pedalers, and we are Puff Puff Pass the Peaceful Dragon.

Kati: Very nice.

Can you tell us how do you convert your machine from going on land and sand to being ready to go out on the bay and make headway on the water?

Michael: To roll into the water which means the wheels have to be on the ground and the pontoons have to be up.

So when you roll into the water, that means your machine is now sitting too low in the water, so you have to raise yourself up in relation to the pontoons, so which is kind of like picking up a sheet of plywood while you're standing on it.

So that's what this giant magic lever here does.

It gives us the power to go, errgh, and lift 500 pounds, 700 pounds, out of the water.

Kati: Very nicely done, yay.

[cheering] [cheering] Woo hoo.

Kati: Very nice.

Kati: Pontoon is losing air.

It wasn't pumped up high enough.

Or a lot of times, what happens is they sit around and they get pumped up, sitting on the concrete in the sun, and then they hit that cold water and, all of a sudden, there's way less air in there.

Kati: Hi, Duane, what are you doing out here?

Duane: Hey, Kati.

Well, you know, how do you stay away from this stuff, you know?

After my big fail with the dragon one year, I kept thinking, "Someone's gonna take my spot," but there is a few back there still.

Kati: We may see--we may see a flip yet.

Do you have a favorite so far?

Duane: Well, you know, there are so many good ones this year.

I think the art is really cool out there this time.

Kati: They've been missing it and they're really eager to get back out and witness the glory.

Duane: Yeah, it's great to come back out, though, and you see new faces, new groups of team.

It just keeps growing, and that's what we love to see, you know?

As you move on, you realize maybe you can't pedal that far anymore or you don't want to anymore.

You get to watch it keep growing and that's--it's pretty awesome.

Kati: Woo.

Kati: They're in a uh-oh.

Kati: Queen Robotica, what happened out there?

Robot: So, once I got in the water, there's some force on that propeller.

I was getting about half a crank out of my pedals.

Kati: And then you just couldn't go any further?

Robot: It wasn't going any further so I pulled out the emergency oar and that thing I just bought broke in half.

I'm gonna go back over to my truck and see if I can fix it to keep pedaling and, if not, I'm going back inside the truck.

Kati: Well, very good luck.

I hope you can get back on the course and get to Ferndale one way or the other.

Kati: -- Let's go see how these guys are gonna do in the water.

I don't know how they've done before.

Let's see.

Kati: Lush Newton, can you tell me a little bit about your art?

Lush Newton: This year we are KHAM, the super sound of glory ham radio.

We are wearing crazy reflective outfits so that we can reflect all of the glory, all of the time.

We are also transmitting glory throughout the race.

If you're--if you can see the ham, turn your dial to 87.7 and that's FM.

Kati: Are you broadcasting from the machine?

Lush: We are also broadcasting from the machine.

Kati: Have you done a water test since the last, what--last time this was in the water, three years ago, two and a half years ago?

Lush: You know, no, we haven't.

But it's fine.

We'll be fine.

Everything's blown up, it's holding air.

[cheering] Kati: Yeah, yeah.

Kati: Like a dream.

Kati: Here goes.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: All the teams that get in the water successfully, head through the water, all the way over here to the Samoa boat ramp to water exit where they have to human power themselves out of the water.

Then they're gonna go through Old Town Eureka on the beautiful waterfront trail, the Hikshari Trail, the hiking and biking trail that goes all the way out south Eureka.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: After leaving the natural food store to head out to South Eureka, teams come along here, on the Eureka waterfront trail, and the Hikshari Trail goes all along our beautiful waterfront and here is Livwrong.

♪♪♪ Kati: Woo hoo.

male: -- back there for number one.

Kati: Oh, good to know.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Hello.

How you doing today?

I can't keep up with you.

Okay, bye.

Good luck.

Kati: I forgot there's -- service this year.

I'm glad we came down.

♪♪♪ male: You okay?

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Day 2 has been full of excitement.

Teams mostly floated.

There was only a couple of major splashes and major incidents.

And teams are gonna head out to the private racers' campout at Crab Park.

It's a long slog to the finish line but you're almost there.

There they go.

Five miles into a headwind, to the private racers' campout where teams camp and I believe they hold hands and they sing songs and they go to bed early.

And that's how that goes.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: We're here at historic Fernbridge.

It's Day 3 of the Kinetic Grand Championship, and the challenge today is gonna start with a river crossing.

Teams will emerge on the Worswick Bar behind me, and they will cross the Eel River, downriver of Fernbridge.

It's moving fast, it's cold.

The sheriff's posse and the Coast Guard are out there right now, plumbing the depths to make sure it's gonna be actually safe and actually doable for the racers.

Hopefully, we'll see some of them going in the water really soon.

♪♪♪ Kati: Okay, it looks like the Humpbacks of Notre Dame are the first team that get into the water, but now they are pedaling furiously upstream and wobbling back and forth and I think they're gonna run into that pylon.

I think they are caught.

The Lemonheads and the Heavy Chunk Tuna, racing to see who is gonna be the first to make it out of the Eel River.

I don't know if they have a legal push on this side.

We'll find out.

Legal push, of course, when teams are allowed to go and help their crafts.

Look at this.

[cheering] [cheering] Kati: All right, so they do have to human power themselves out of the water until their rear wheels are totally out of the water and then it's a legal push.

Their team is allowed to grab the machine.

Kati: How was the river crossing?

Lucas "Papa Lemon" Thornton: Oh, it was easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

I put the artwork in my machine, into the wind, and it acted like a sail and it kept me upriver and I didn't get swept down, and I skirted around the grid and didn't even have to hit a sand bar.

Kati: What's the next stop on the Kinetic Grand Championship?

Where do you go from here?

Papa Lemon: Oh well, I can't wait to go through Port Kenyon and do a nice glory spin for all those spectators out there, and then into Ferndale.

Kati: Into Ferndale.

All right, well, we'll see you at the finish line.

Papa Lemon: Woo-hoo.

♪♪♪ female: You got it.

Papa Lemon: No, I need John Lemon.

Kati: Oh, you need your pit crew?

Papa Lemon: Wait, wait, I'm ready to push.

I'm ready to push.

I need you, I need you.

Run, run.

Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.

Over, over and out.

[cheering] [cheering] [chanting] John Lemon, John Lemon.

[cheering] Kati: All right, we are here on Main Street, Ferndale, for the last leg of the Kinetic Grand Championship, and it is absolutely the most glorious.

Go that way, guys.

Glory's that way.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ female: One, two, three, four.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ female: That's Puff Puff Pass the Peaceful Dragon, that's the Peace Pedalers.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ male: -- for the finish line.

[cheering] [cheering] Kati: Good glory grab -- Kati: It's glorious.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: The Humpbacks of Notre Dame had a rough morning on the water but they have made it to the finish line.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Kati: Hey, Papa Lemon, is your ace intact?

Papa Lemon: Yes, it is.

I'm finally gonna be a professor!

Kati: So explain what that means, "You're finally gonna be a professor."

Explain what--what is a professor in Kinetics?

Papa Lemon: Well, a professor is one that wins an Ace Award during the Grand Championship because they carried everything that they need for the race, including pontoons, sandtracks, straps, backpacks, a teddy bear, a toothbrush, all that good stuff, all the way to Ferndale without being pushed or pulled in any illegal pushing or pulling zones, and making it across the finish line.

Kati: It's really good to see you.

How was your course?

Bartleby: Oh, so good.

The glory oozes over.

The glory is overflowing, to the point that we need a plunger.

Kati: Hey guys, there's no award for flipping over at the finish line.

What was that about?

male: Too much power in the back.

Kati: How was your race?

How was your raceday 3?

male: Oh, it's beautiful.

It was beautiful.

We've had a great day, great race.

Steve Spain: Teleport a little bit, but think that's what overcame us, just a little bit, you know, just all that glory was just a little too much.

Overwhelmed us, and just knocked us over.

Kati: Well, that's it for this special Kinetic edition of "Old Town Art Crawl."

We went a little outside the boundaries of Old Town, Eureka, but, man, Humboldt County is one giant small town.

And never does it feel more like one big town or one big family than on Memorial Day weekend when everybody comes out for the Kinetic Race because it's all for one very good reason and that's for the glory.

♪♪♪ Kati: The porta potties are on that street.

male: Okay.

Kati: Go past the campers store down that way.

Kati: It's a Kinetic bidet.

Kati: Gotta be clear.

I didn't drop my phone in the porta potty.

I dropped my phone "in" the porta potty, with a "bloop" that will haunt me for the rest of my days.

male: Next year, when we come back, it'll actually be regular.

♪♪♪