(theme music) (applause) ♪ (applause continues) Thank you.

Welcome!

(shouts) Welcome to our show this evening.

We have Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence, and our special guests are Steve Lawrence, and Tim Conway, and the young gentleman who plays the title role in the new movie The Little Prince, Mr. Steven Warner.

(unintelligible) ...question, anything you want to say?

-Yes.

-I had a niece ask me if you please would do the Tarzan cry.

(Carol) The Tarzan cry?

I don't do the Tarzan cry, but I do the yell.

-The yell.

-The cry is when Jane says, "Not tonight, Tarzan."

The yell is: (mimicking Tarzan yell) (applause) All right, don't go away, we'll be right back.

(applause) (announcer) From Television City in Hollywood, it's The Carol Burnett Show... (applause) ♪ ...with Harvey Korman... ♪ ...and Vicki Lawrence.

(applause continues) ♪ (applause) (melancholy music) As the Stomach Turns.

When last we left Canoga Falls, Marian was in the midst of a particularly eventful day.

She was returning from a funeral and a wedding.

♪ Oh, my goodness.

What a happy, sad day.

Here I was, maid of honor and pallbearer all in the same morning.

Oh, but it was so lucky and exciting for me to catch the bouquet.

Oh.

(squeals) And what a thoughtful gesture it was of dear poor old Mr. Marlowe to donate his body to science.

I think I'll do that.

Hello, is this the Masters and Johnson sex clinic?

Oh, this is Marian.

I would like to donate my body--hello?

Hello?

They hung up.

Oh, I don't know, this just hasn't been my day.

I wonder what's in store for me next.

I wonder what's in store for me next.

I'll get it.

(doorbell rings) (laughter) (dramatic organ music) (applause) Why, it's Don Provolone, the Godfather of Canoga Falls!

What are you doing here?

What do you want?

(Don) I came for the usual.

I came for to blackmail you.

(Marian) Oh, again?

Aren't you ashamed of being a blackmailer and an extortionist?

Whether I'm right, whether I'm wrong, I got to be me.

(laughter) You get the picture?

(Marian) No, but I'll bet you have.

(Don) Yes, I do, sweetheart.

Here it is, your latest blackmail photo.

♪ Why, it's a picture of me and Milo Farkas, the town acrobat.

(laughter) (Don) Which one is you?

(Marian) Milo Farkas is the one on the chandelier.

(laughter) The picture will cost you ten grand, sweetheart.

(Marian) Ten thousand dollars?

(Don) That's right, there's inflation now.

Costs me more to run my business.

You know what it costs for brass knuckles?

You know what cement costs?

You know what cotton costs?

(laughter) Now, look, sweetheart... (laughter) If you want the picture, it'll cost you ten big ones.

(Marian) I would so like to have that photograph for my memory book, Godfather, but I don't have $10,000.

Why, all I have left in my little piggy bank is $5,000.

(Don) I told you the price is ten.

(Marian) Godfather, over the years, I've been such a good blackmail customer of yours.

Couldn't you just in this case make an exception?

Just this one time.

Oh!

(gasping, shattering) Oh!

Does that mean a "no"?

(Don) You got five minutes to reach ten grand, sweetheart.

I got to go now.

Got to see a man about a horse.

(laughing softly) (laughing) He has such a nice laugh.

Oh, it's times like these when I wish someone were here to help me, someone to share my financial burden, someone that belongs to me for my family, someone really caring.

Someone really caring.

Someone really caring.

I'll get it!

(laughter) ♪ Why, it's a young stranger.

(Alvin) Don't you recognize me?

(Marian) I'm not sure.

Let me guess.

I... -I'm your child.

-Oh!

My long-lost daughter!

(Alvin) No, I'm your son, Alvin, who ran away from home to become a female impersonator.

♪ (scratching) (Alvin) Sorry, Mom.

-You mean... -Yes, Mom.

I've looked at love from both sides now.

(laughter) (Marian) Well, dear, how's the impersonation business going, and have you fooled anyone?

Yes, I guess you have.

(Alvin) Well, I have to be going now, Mom.

(Marian) Oh, wait, Alvin.

Alvin, why don't you stay here with me, darling?

You can have your old room back upstairs.

It's just as you left it, dear, with all your dresses and cigars.

Do you mean it, Mom?

You're not ashamed that I'm a... (Marian) Shh, shh.

No.

No, I'm not ashamed of you.

I want you to stay here, dear.

That room is yours for $5,000 in advance.

-I don't have any money.

-Goodbye, freako.

(laughter) Dear, dear.

(laughter) What can I do?

I do need some money.

Oh, if only had a chicken suit.

I could go on Let's Make a Deal.

There must be someone who could help me.

I know.

♪ I know, my rich Uncle Waldo who lives upstairs.

Uncle Waldo?

(thumping) (thudding) (applause) (thumping, laughter) (laughter continues) Uncle Waldo!

(Waldo) I'll be right down!

(laughter) (Marian) Uncle Waldo, are you all right?

-Am I breathing?

-Yes.

(Waldo) Then I'm all right.

(Marian) Uncle Waldo, please, sit down.

I have to talk to you about something.

-Right.

-Oh.

Now this is very important, Uncle Waldo, that I talk to you about-- (groaning) (Marian) Oh.

(laughter) (applause) (laughter) (thudding) (applause) I'm not coming downstairs anymore.

(Marian) Uncle Waldo, listen to me.

I'm your niece.

-Are you listening?

-I'm sorry, I ate a rug.

(laughter) (Marian) Uncle Waldo, I'm your niece, and I love you very much, and I want to take care of you.

So, therefore, Uncle Waldo, would you please give me $5,000?

No.

I haven't got time now anyway.

I got to get ready for a big, heavy date.

(Marian) A heavy date?

Who with?

(Waldo) My fiancée.

(gasping) (Marian) I'll say, if he gets married, I'll never see that money.

(doorbell rings) Who's that?

(Waldo) That must be my fiancée.

I'm comin', darlin'!

(Marian) No, wait, wait.

Wait, Uncle Waldo, listen to me now harder.

Listen, Uncle Waldo, don't marry her.

Please don't, Uncle Waldo.

Leave your family fortune in the family with me, you must.

Don't--don't be taken in by a shapely leg and the turn of a lovely ankle.

Why, all this cheap floozy wants you for is your money, and all she can offer you is her sexy body.

(Mother Marcus) Somebody rang my bell.

(laughter) (applause) Why, it's Mother Marcus, Canoga Falls' freelance yenta.

(Mother Marcus) Hello, Marian.

Oy, there's my intended.

An oldie but a goodie.

(laughter) (Waldo) Is this the honeymoon?

(Mother Marcus) No, no, shame on you.

No hanky-panky before the nuptials.

Not so much afterwards either.

Listen, darling, before we do anything else, I want you to do something for me first.

Sit down, darling.

I want you to do something for yourself (indistinct).

Here.

Here's something for you.

It's a piece of paper.

Waldo, please, darling.

Make a Maya Hancock on there for me.

(Marian) Wait just a minute, what is that he's signing?

(Mother Marcus) His new will.

♪ If he signs that, there's no more money for me.

I'm out in the cold.

Please, Uncle Waldo, you can't marry her.

-So why not?

-Because it would be a mixed marriage.

You're Jewish, and he's 94.

(laughter) (Waldo) How do you spell my last name?

(Mother Marcus) Oh, look at him, writing like a regular person.

I never hear from my children, though.

I have one son, Morton Marcus, Morton Michael Marcus.

Thirty years ago, I gave him a pen for his bar mitzvah.

I haven't heard from him since.

Don't raise children.

(Waldo) There, it's all signed.

(laughter) -Waldo.

-Please, Mother Marcus.

I need money.

I need money, I'm being blackmailed.

(Mother Marcus) Oh, pish-tush.

Who would blackmail a nice, neurotic shiksa like you?

(doorbell rings) (Marian) That's who!

(Don) You got the money, or am I gonna have to show the photo?

(Marian) Oh, please, don't show the photo.

(Mother Marcus) Excuse me, can I take a gander at the photo?

This is a very nice likeness of Milo Farkas.

-Who's the other guy?

-That's me.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Please, Uncle Waldo, give me $5,000!

All right, all right, all right!

(Marian) Thank you!

(Waldo) I'm tired of all this yelling.

I'll get the money, give it to you, and we can have it all straightened out... (mumbling) (Marian) Hurry.

Hurry, wake up.

(laughter) (Waldo) It's in a safe up here behind this picture, and I'll get that out of there and give it to you.

Then you get off my back.

Leave me... ...alone.

There's that safe.

Ah.

Ah!

Ah!

(cracking) (laughter) Watch out!

(laughter) (cracking) There I am.

It's gone!

Oh, I know.

It's behind the other picture of your-- (Marian) Oh, hurry!

(Waldo) Hurry.

(laughter) It's right up there in that safe behind that picture.

Right up there.

I'm going.

Um... (groaning) (unintelligible singing) ♪ La-dee-da-dee-dum ♪ (singing continues) (laughter) (laughter continues) Here it is!

(laughter) (unintelligible singing) (laughter) All right, I'll have to open her up.

Let's see, that'll be two to the right.

One, two.

Three to the left!

-One, two, three.

-Hurry.

Nine hundred seventy-four to the right.

One, two, three, four... (Don) Come on, hurry up, hurry up.

Hey, now you made me forget where I was.

Nine hundred seventy-four.

One, two, three... (Don) All right, 974.

(gunshot, clanking) (laughter) It's open!

Hooray!

-Here's the money.

-Oh, thank you!

Here, Godfather.

(Don) Wait a minute.

This money has got little choo-choos on 'em.

(Marian) Uncle Waldo, this is Monopoly money!

Oh, I own Boardwalk and Park Place.

(laughter) (Don) Hey, you can't pull this on the Godfather.

-You're gonna get it.

-Wait a minute!

You no goodnik I'll give you-- Wait.

Wait, look, that's not Don Provolones!

That's my long-lost son, Morton Michael Marcus!

♪ (Don) Are you crazy lady?

I'm Italian.

-Come on, give me the money.

-But I don't have the cash.

(Don) All right, write a check.

-Here, here's a pen.

-Wait a minute!

Oy vey, this is the proof in the kugel.

This is the bar mitzvah pen I gave you 30 years ago.

Look, it's still leaking.

This is my son, Morton Michael Marcus.

(organ music) (Morton) ♪ My innocent mama ♪ (Mother Marcus) Morton, darling.

(Marian) Wait!

Before you smother him with motherly love, there's something I have to say.

(melancholy organ music) (announcer) What is it Marian has to say?

And what about Mother Marcus?

Now that she's found out her son is a godfather, will she cook gefilte fettuccine?

(mouthing words) And what about Marian's son, the daughter?

Is it true that he's going to split up a famous show business marriage and marry both Steve and Eydie?

(laughter) And what of Don Provolone Michael Morton, the Godfather?

When the Mafia discovers he's Jewish, will they get angry and put a chicken's head on his bed?

(laughter) ♪ What about Uncle Waldo?

Will he enjoy his honeymoon?

Can a man of 94?

(laughter) ♪ And what of Marian?

Will her pictures ever be published in Playboy, or will she just have to accept the offer from Popular Mechanics?

For the answer to these and equally senseless questions, tune in tomorrow at the same time.

As the Stomach Turns.

(applause) ♪ (theme music) ♪ This portion of The Carol Burnett Show is sponsored by Sears, where you'll find new things for you and your world.

At Sears, we've got ideas.

♪ Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Steve Lawrence!

(applause) (jazz music) ♪ ♪ On a clear day ♪ ♪ Rise and look around you ♪ ♪ And you'll see just who you are ♪ ♪ ♪ On a clear day ♪ ♪ How it will astound you ♪ ♪ That the glow of your being outshines every star ♪ ♪ You'll feel part of every mountain, sea, and shore ♪ ♪ You can hear from far and near a world you've never ever heard before ♪ ♪ And on that clear day ♪ ♪ On that clear day ♪ ♪ ♪ You can see forever and forever more ♪ ♪ ♪ On a clear day ♪ ♪ ♪ Look all around you, and you will see just who you are ♪ ♪ ♪ On a clear day ♪ ♪ It will astound you ♪ ♪ That the glow of your being outshines every star ♪ ♪ You'll feel part of ♪ ♪ ♪ Every mountain, sea, and shore ♪ ♪ You can hear from far and near a world you've never ever heard before ♪ ♪ And on that clear day ♪ ♪ ♪ On that clear day ♪ ♪ You can see forever and ever ♪ ♪ And ever ♪ ♪ And ever ♪ ♪ Forever more ♪ (applause) (moody music) ♪ (knocking) Come on in, the door's open!

-Hey!

What is this?

-Relax, cookie.

We're not the vice squad.

-Are you here alone?

-At the moment, yes.

-Check it out, Johnson.

-Right, Sarge.

(woman) Oh!

Hey, wait a minute, are you a cop?

(Sergeant Mallory) That's right, honey.

Sergeant Mallory.

I'm afraid we're gonna have to take over this dump -for a couple of days.

-You can't do that.

This is my house!

-I mean my home.

-Oh?

(woman) Yeah, besides, I'm expecting a customer.

-A customer?

-Uh...

I sell Girl Scout cookies.

-Clean as a whistle, Sarge.

-Okay, take her downtown, and I'll set up here.

This is a perfect stakeout for that apartment across the street.

When the counterfeit gang shows up, we'll nab 'em with the goods.

(Johnson) Let's go, sister.

You and me are gonna take a little ride downtown.

-Oh, uh, Johnson?

-Yes, Sarge.

(Sergeant Mallory) No stops.

(Johnson) Yes, Sarge.

Oh, uh, by the way, they're sending over another officer to help you out on the stakeout.

He's coming from the 11th Precinct.

(Sergeant Mallory) Oh, that's great.

Good, that way we can spill each other and take turns in two-hour shifts.

(Johnson) Come on, let's go.

(man) Hey, Leonard, come on, hurry up!

(laughter) (Leonard) Look, uh...

I don't think I'm gonna go through with this.

(man) Hey, listen, you can't chicken out on me now.

(Leonard) Yeah, well, suppose my wife finds out.

(man) Leonard, you're not married.

(Leonard) Well, suppose I do get married and then she finds out?

(man) Stop worrying, will ya?

(Leonard) Look, I--I've never done anything like this before.

I don't know what to talk about or anything.

(man) Don't worry, there's nothing to be scared about.

Now go.

(Leonard) I'm telling ya, I'm not ready for this.

(man) Leonard, how old are you?

(Leonard) Thirty-four.

(man) Trust me, you're ready.

-Good luck!

-It's open, come on in.

(Leonard) Um... (Sergeant Mallory) I said, "Come in!"

Uh... (Sergeant Mallory) Well, it's about time you got here.

Well, you coming in or not?

I guess so.

Um, yes, madam.

I mean, uh, ma'am.

(laughter) Uh... (laughter) Well, it sure is a nice, uh, room you got here.

(Sergeant Mallory) Yeah, it's gonna be in House Beautiful in a couple of weeks.

Uh, I'm just trying to figure out my, uh, schedule here.

Um, how long do you think I'm gonna be here?

Gee, I don't know.

We could be here a couple of days.

(laughter) Wow.

(Sergeant Mallory) It all depends on how lucky we get.

(Leonard) Yeah.

Guess you're right.

Say, what do you see there anyway?

(Sergeant Mallory) Nothing right now.

-Take a look.

-Oh, yeah.

Just that empty room on the other side there, huh?

(Sergeant Mallory) Yeah, look, why don't we take turns?

That way, neither one of us will get too tired.

(laughter) Yeah, I guess you're right on that.

Uh, where's the bathroom?

-There.

-Thank you.

(telephone ringing) Hello.

Uh, yeah, this is Sergeant Mallory.

(buzzing) Hey, Lieutenant, there's something kind of strange about that guy they sent over from the 11th Precinct.

I don't know, he's just acting kind of funny.

(gargling) No, no, the suspects haven't turned up yet, but I'll keep you posted, Lieutenant, yeah.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

Ten-four to you too.

(clicking) (laughter) (laughter continues) What?

No teddy bear?

I didn't have room for it in my bag.

(Sergeant Mallory) Oh.

(Leonard) Well, uh...

I'm ready.

(laughter) (Sergeant Mallory) Would you like mommy to sing you a lullaby?

(Leonard) Oh, uh, no.

Uh...

So, you know, I, uh, I kind of have a confession to make.

You see, uh, this is my first time.

(Sergeant Mallory) Oh, boy.

I wish I could say the same thing.

(laughter) Well, you know where I was the first time I did this?

Mm.

I'm afraid to ask.

(Sergeant Mallory) I was in a telephone booth across the street from Disneyland.

(laughter) Can you imagine that?

(laughter) I'm trying.

(Sergeant Mallory) I guess it's my own fault.

After all, I did choose this profession.

I don't know, I had a lot of help in making my decision.

I bet you did.

Uh, look, on second thought, I don't think I'm gonna do this.

I'm just gonna get dressed and-- (Sergeant Mallory) What?

Oh, no, you don't!

You're not gonna get out of here.

We went to a lot of trouble to set this up, and you're not gonna get out of here just because you're scared, you understand?

Do ya?

Now what have you got to say?

(Leonard) I have to use the bathroom again.

(Sergeant Mallory) Well, hurry up!

I got a feeling we're getting close.

This may be it!

Come on!

Come on!

Let's get going!

(Leonard) Why don't you go ahead without me?

Honestly.

For crying out loud.

(Leonard) Uh... Say, listen, uh, I have, uh...

I... You aren't gonna shake me again, are ya?

Come out, come out wherever you are!

-Uh... -I'm sorry I'm late, but... (laughing) What's this, uniform of the day?

No.

Say, who are you anyway?

I'm the 11th man.

Who are you?

(laughter) I guess I was the tenth guy.

(horn music) (applause) ♪ (applause fades) (theme music) (announcer) And, now, back for the second half of The Carol Burnett Show.

(soft music) A lovely musical film just opened in New York called The Little Prince, and it stars Richard Kiley and the lyrics and music of Lerner and Loewe, and it features this title song.

♪ ♪ Little prince from who knows where ♪ ♪ Was it a star ♪ ♪ Was it a prayer ♪ ♪ With every smile you clear the air so I can see ♪ ♪ Oh, little prince, don't take your smile away from me ♪ ♪ ♪ When you came, my day was done ♪ ♪ And then your laugh turned on the sun ♪ ♪ Oh, little prince, now to my wonder and surprise ♪ ♪ All the hopes and dreams I lived among ♪ ♪ When this heart of mine was wise and young ♪ ♪ Shine for me again, little prince, in your eyes ♪ ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, meet the little prince himself: Steven Warner.

(applause) Why don't you sit right up there?

Can you make that?

You okay?

Whoa!

Boy, you're a big one.

-How old are you?

-Eight.

(Carol) You're eight years old.

Steven, you're very handsome.

Um, tell me, have you ever thought in terms of an older woman?

Hm?

Oh.

Uh, Steven, were you an actor before you did this movie?

(Steven) No, I was just a little kid.

(Carol) Very cute.

Funny, too.

Steven, why don't we take a look at the scene where you become very angry with Richard Kiley, okay?

I don't know.

Spite, I suppose.

Flowers have thorns just for spite.

What you don't understand is that if someone loves one flower, it grows on one star among all the millions and millions of stars in the sky.

It's enough to make him happy to look at the stars.

He can say to himself, "Somewhere, my flower is up there."

But if a sheep eats the flower, in one moment, all the stars will go dark.

And do you think that's not important?

It's not a matter of consequence to you, is it?

(unintelligible) (applause) (Carol) You scared me there.

Were you really that angry at Mr. Kiley?

(Steven) No, I just did what they told me to do.

(Carol) Oh.

Well, uh, I understand also that you never sang before.

Did they tell you to sing and everything like that?

Would you do us a favor and sing something for us now?

Are you asking me or telling me?

(Carol) I'm asking you, Steven.

Would you?

Okay.

♪ Why is the desert so lovely to see ♪ (Carol) Why is the desert so lovely to see?

♪ ♪ There is a reason lovely to tell ♪ ♪ Because the desert is hiding a well ♪ (Carol chuckles) ♪ ♪ What makes the desert so lovely at night ♪ (Carol) What makes the desert so lovely at night?

(Steven) ♪ Millions of reasons ♪ (Carol) ♪ Tell me just one ♪ ♪ At night the desert is hiding the sun ♪ ♪ (exuberant music) ♪ (laughing) ♪ (pilot) ♪ Why am I happy ♪ ♪ We're dying of thirst ♪ ♪ Why am I happy ♪ ♪ We're dying of thirst ♪ ♪ Why are you happy ♪ ♪ Why do you think ♪ (pilot) ♪ Because there's plenty of water to drink ♪ ♪ (laughing) ♪ (splashing) ♪ (soft music) (Little Prince) ♪ Why was the desert so lovely before ♪ (pilot) ♪ Why was it lovely but not anymore ♪ (Little Prince) ♪ Water was hiding ♪ (pilot) ♪ No one could see ♪ (both) ♪ But now the water is hiding in me ♪ (applause) (applause fades) (mellow music) ♪ (whistling) (whistling continues) How long have you been waiting?

Oh, about 25 minutes.

In your condition?

(laughter) In my condition?

What do you mean?

(woman) Oh, well, nothing except that you are in a doctor's office, so, naturally, I assumed something must be wrong.

(man) Nothing is wrong.

It's very minor.

I'm just getting these headaches.

In your head, right?

(laughter) -Right.

-I knew it.

(man) What did you know?

Well, it would probably be better if I just didn't say anything.

(man) Right.

(woman) What's he giving you for your headaches?

(sighing) Uh, neopolysaphicylate.

(woman) Oh, no!

-What's wrong?

-Oh, no!

(man) What?

What's wrong with it?

What's wrong with neopolysaphicylate?

(woman) Look, I'm not a doctor, so how would I know?

(man) Well, it sounds like you've heard something.

(woman) No, not exactly.

You see, what I read in the medical journal doesn't necessarily have to be true.

(man) What did you read in the medical journal?

Did it say there was something wrong with neopolysaphicylate?

(woman) No, look, I mean, if the doctor prescribed neopolysaphicylate for you, you have to assume that he knows what he's doing.

(laughter) Besides, that stupid story about the side effects wasn't conclusively proved.

(man) What side effects?

(woman) I don't think I should discuss them.

-Why not?

-Because you may be suggestible.

I mean, if I told you what the side effects were, why, you might imagine that you have them.

(man) No way, lady.

(woman) Dizziness.

(laughter) -Dizziness?

-Yes.

Oh, yes, indeed, dizziness.

Terrible, horrible, sickening dizziness.

And uncontrolled muscle spasms... (laughter) ..in the lower leg.

(laughter) (man) Come on now.

That hasn't been proved.

(woman) No, it hasn't, not yet.

But it has been proved that you do get a green tongue.

(man) Hogwash.

(woman) Hogwash?

I'll bet you have a swollen...

I'll bet you have a swollen uvula.

(man) Oh, yeah, you really think so, huh?

(woman) Yes, I do.

Let me look at your... (man) You're not gonna look down my throat.

-You're afraid, aren't you?

-I'm not afraid.

Go on, if it'll make you happy, all right, look.

-Ahh.

-Ahh.

-Say "Ah."

-Ah.

-What is it?

-Oh, I don't know, but I think your uvula would get a lot of laughs at a medical convention.

(man) Oh, come on.

(woman) Of course, what you have is no laughing matter.

I read about one person who took neopolysaphicylate and he went into a very deep, deep depression... (crying) ...alternating with fits of laughter.

(laughing) And, then, all of a sudden, red spots appeared on his chest.

And you won't believe this.

Then he developed suicidal tendencies.

(laughter) (man) You don't know what you're talking about.

(woman) Yes, I do, and I also know a great deal about the fainting spells.

(man) Oh, yeah, the fainting I heard about.

(woman) Mm-hm.

(laughter) -Who's next?

-Oh, you better see him, Doctor.

He's a very sick man.

(laughter, applause) (horn music) ♪ (applause fades) The gentlemen responsible for the songs in The Little Prince were also responsible for a few other things, little things like Camelot, Gigi, Paint Your Wagon, Brigadoon, and another show that almost made it, My Fair Lady.

Ladies and gentlemen, the fantastic music of Lerner and Loewe.

(applause) (uplifting music) ♪ (ensemble) ♪ Brigadoon ♪ ♪ Brigadoon ♪ ♪ Blooming under sable skies ♪ ♪ Brigadoon ♪ ♪ Brigadoon ♪ ♪ There my heart forever lies ♪ (Steve) ♪ Come to me, bend to me ♪ ♪ Kiss me good day ♪ ♪ Darling, my darling ♪ ♪ 'Tis all I can say ♪ ♪ Come to me, bend to me ♪ ♪ Kiss me good day ♪ ♪ Give me your lips and don't take them away ♪ (Carol) ♪ What a day this has been ♪ ♪ What a rare mood I'm in ♪ ♪ Why, it's almost like being in love ♪ (Steve) Not quite.

(Carol) ♪ There's a smile on my face for the whole human race ♪ ♪ Why, it's ♪ (both) ♪ Almost like being in love ♪ (Carol) ♪ All the music of life seems to be ♪ ♪ Like a bell that is ringing for me ♪ ♪ And from the ♪ (bell ringing) (majestic music) (male ensemble) ♪ Got a dream, boy, got a song ♪ ♪ Paint your wagon and come along ♪ ♪ A way out here they've got a name for wind and rain and fire ♪ ♪ The rain is Tess, the fire is Joe, and they call the wind Maria ♪ -♪ Maria ♪ -♪ Maria ♪ -♪ Maria ♪ -♪ Maria ♪ ♪ They call the wind Maria ♪ (laughter) ♪ I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me ♪ ♪ (laughter) ♪ (male ensemble) ♪ I'm getting married in the morning ♪ ♪ Ding, dong, the bells are gonna chime ♪ ♪ Kick up a rumpus ♪ ♪ But don't lose the compass ♪ ♪ And get me to the church ♪ ♪ Get me to the church ♪ ♪ For Pete's sake, get me to the church on time ♪ ♪ I'll never know what made it so exciting ♪ ♪ Why all at once my heart took flight ♪ (female ensemble) ♪ I only know when he began to dance with me ♪ ♪ I could have danced, danced, danced ♪ ♪ All night ♪ ♪ (soft music) ♪ Gigi ♪ ♪ Am I fool without a mind ♪ ♪ Or have I merely been too blind to realize ♪ ♪ Gigi ♪ ♪ Why, you've been growing up before my eyes ♪ ♪ Gigi, you're not at all that funny, awkward little girl I knew ♪ ♪ Oh, no ♪ ♪ Overnight there's been a breathless change in you ♪ -♪ We met at nine ♪ -♪ We met at eight ♪ -♪ I was on time ♪ -♪ No, you were late ♪ (Harvey) ♪ Ah, yes, I remember it well ♪ -♪ We dined with friends ♪ -♪ We dined alone ♪ -♪ A tenor sang ♪ -♪ A baritone ♪ (Harvey) ♪ Ah, yes, I remember it well ♪ ♪ You wore a gown of gold ♪ (Carol) ♪ I was all in blue ♪ (Harvey) ♪ Am I getting old ♪ (Carol) ♪ Oh, no, not you ♪ ♪ How strong you were ♪ ♪ How young and gay ♪ ♪ A prince of love in every way ♪ (Harvey) ♪ Ah, yes ♪ (both) ♪ I remember it well ♪ (upbeat music) (female ensemble) ♪ Thank heaven for little boys ♪ ♪ For little boys get bigger every day ♪ ♪ Thank heaven for little boys ♪ ♪ They grow up in the most delightful way ♪ (Vicki) ♪ Those little eyes, so helpless and appealing ♪ ♪ One day will flash and send you crashing through the ceiling ♪ (Steven) ♪ Thank heaven for little girls ♪ ♪ Thank heaven for them all no matter where, no matter who ♪ (Tim) ♪ Without them, what would little boys do ♪ ♪ (Carol) ♪ Each evening, from December to December ♪ ♪ Before you drift to sleep upon your cot ♪ ♪ Think back on all the tales that you remember of Camelot ♪ ♪ (Steve and Carol) ♪ Ask every person if he's heard the story ♪ ♪ And tell it strong and clear if he has not ♪ ♪ That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory called Camelot ♪ ♪ (Steven) ♪ Camelot ♪ ♪ ♪ Camelot ♪ (Steve and Carol) ♪ Now sing it out with love and joy ♪ ♪ (Steven) ♪ Camelot ♪ ♪ ♪ Camelot ♪ ♪ (Steve and Carol) ♪ Yes, Camelot, my boy ♪ ♪ (all) ♪ The rain may never fall until sundown ♪ ♪ By eight, the morning fog must disappear ♪ ♪ Don't let it be forgot ♪ ♪ That once there was a spot ♪ ♪ For one brief shining moment ♪ ♪ That was known as Camelot ♪ (applause) (applause fades) (unintelligible) Thank you.

Be sure and be with us next week when our guest will be Alan Alda.

And remember, if you want to help beat air pollution and all lung disease, too, use lots of Christmas Seals on your holiday gifts and mail.

And this year for life and breath, give more to Christmas Seals.

♪ I'm so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song ♪ ♪ Seems we just get started and before you know it comes the time we have to say so long ♪ Goodnight, thank you.

(applause) (theme music) ♪ (announcer) The part of the policeman was played by Dick Patterson.

The preceding program was recorded before a live audience.

(applause) ♪ (applause fades) (bright music)