(cheerful bright music) (gun bangs) (cheerful bright music continue) (glass clinks) (bright music) (Lovejoy vocalizing) (water splashing) (bird chirping) ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love ♪ ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love ♪ ♪ I'm in love with a wonderful ♪ - Well, not so much of a guy, more of a girl, actually.

Freddy the Phone, my absentee landlord, called from Spain.

Would I house-sit for the rest of the year?

Business premises included.

What's all this?

- Management meeting.

And as MD, you should be in the chair, Lovejoy.

- MD?

Roped you in as well?

- This Dalrymple job, worth a m. It's a whole house, you know.

- Oh, I'm very beholden to you,.

- Yvonne Dalrymple is a very go.

- You told me that.

Could murder a cuppa.

- Tea and biscuits, 11:15.

Right, now, before we start, I'll need your P45.

- P what?

- Now we've reformed the group as Lovejoy Associates, we've got to be business-like.

Right, right?

Right.

- Excuse me, Eric.

Where did he get this from?

- From his girlfriend.

- She's an economist.

- [Tinker] She's a PhD.

- Ah, I see.

Carry on.

- We're wasting time.

From now on, things are going to be done properly.

Fiscally responsible.

- I'm all in favor.

Might save me from having to dip into my ever dwindling capital.

- Now, by rights we should start with the company secretary, that's me, E. Catchpole, reading the minutes of the last meeting.

- What's stopping you?

- There are no minutes.

In fact there was no last meeti.

In fact there was no meeting at.

- Tricky.

- So we shall move on to item three on the agenda, financial planning.

Now, I've contacted the bank.

- What?

- I've contacted the bank.

- You don't contact the bank.

They contact us, if they can fi.

- I should tell you, Lovejoy, that Lady Jane approves.

So the bank's small business adr is going to come round and see .

- How small?

- Lovejoy, no, I'm sorry, flippancy is out.

- This small?

- It's out.

- This small?

- Out.

- (laughing) I'm sorry, Eric, I thought business was fun.

- So if we open an account with, we get free banking for the first year if we stay in credit.

- What do you mean?

We've never been in credit.

The banks have credit, not their customers.

- Lovejoy, I haven't chucked in a career in security with substantial prospects to fd being the permanent office boy.

- Right then, well, you see Tiny Tim from the bank.

Take whatever it is he has to offer, be it a free camera, a calculator, a free membership to the Ethiopian RAC.

I'm off.

- Where to?

- That's none of your business.

You all know I do not work on Friday afternoons.

- Lovejoy, the Dalrymples, you said you'd be there.

- I will.

- [Jane] An entire house to fur.

(gentle bright music) (birds chirping) - [Announcer] The M25- - The M25 is jammed solid, poor.

And the forecast, kids, is peac.

- Whey-hey!

- I should have warned you, Vic.

After a weekend with Teddy, Monday morning will seem pure p. - All this grub and booze?

You don't fool me.

- Essex need another 15.

- [Victoria] Cricket?

Ugh.

- Can't appreciate it, Victoria, unless you've played it.

- I have and I still say, crick.

(car engine revving) - Hello.

- They wouldn't let you land that, you know, in New York.

- They should be so lucky.

- Lovejoy.

Edward Carr.

Welcome to Manderley.

- Oh yes, the film buff.

- Should it rain, I promise you the hoariest collection of old videos in East Anglia.

Laura, I think it's the last 10.

Do you remember Laura?

♪ Laura, la-di-da da ♪ Just getting exciting then bang, they're running out the covers at Wimbledon.

- Well, that can be pretty exciting too, you know.

- Lovejoy, was it you making th?

- No, it was him.

- This is Diana.

Diana, Lovejoy.

- Hello.

- Hello, Diana.

- Would you like to show Lovejo?

- Pleasure.

Is that it?

- A master of disguise.

- Did you have a good week?

- I saw you on Wednesday.

- Seems longer.

- I wonder if he knows much abo.

- Teddy, it's the weekend.

- So?

- Well, if he was a plumber, you wouldn't ask him about the cistern, would you?

- Yes.

- [Victoria] They're solicitors, both of them.

- [Lovejoy] Yours?

- No, they represent Janey and .

They're coming tomorrow.

- Ah-ha, very nice.

Where's your room?

- I'm down the landing.

- Hm, just in case.

- In case what?

- I sleepwalk.

- Is that a promise?

- Mm.

(birds chirping) Mm?

- Hey.

(both chuckle) Janey.

- Hello, darling.

Lovejoy.

- Hello, Janey.

- You left me with the Dalrymples yesterday.

- Janey, please, no shop, not at the weekend.

- Oh.

- You coming biking with us?

- Masses of paperwork.

Have to get it finished.

- Alex, you're not getting away from it all, you're bringing it all with you.

- Some of us have to work, Love.

(bicycle bells ringing) ♪ And as I go, I love to sing ♪ ♪ With my knapsack on my back ♪ ♪ Val-deri, val-dera ♪ ♪ Val-deri ♪ ♪ Val-dera-a-a-a-a-a ♪ ♪ Val-deri ♪ ♪ Val-dera ♪ ♪ With my knapsack on my back ♪ ♪ Val-deri ♪ ♪ Val-dera ♪ ♪ Val-dera-a-a-a-a-a ♪ (gentle bright music) (gentle bright music continues) - We must talk.

- Talk?

I can hardly breathe.

- About the Dalrymples.

- Later, Janey, later.

(Janey sighs) (knuckles rapping) - Janey, I left my mascara behi.

- Here you are.

(Janey sighs) Well, I've heard of pale and interesting but.

- Come here.

There, that's better.

- Oh yes, much.

- I think so.

What does Alex think?

- Oh, he's never here to notice.

Too busy cooking up something in Hong Kong.

- [Victoria] Dim sum.

- Isn't this all rather tame?

Weekend in the country, cycle r. - Lovejoy says Aldeburgh's like Peyton Place.

- He would, wouldn't he?

- He makes me laugh.

(birds chirping) (plane rumbling) - Buck's fizz, anyone?

- [All] Oh, yeah.

- Desert Island Discs in 20 min.

- Oh, yes.

- [Diana] No one wants lunch, d?

(birds chirping) (door rattles) - Nice bath?

- Fabulous.

Phone didn't ring, did it?

- No, be about 3:00 am in Hong .

- Yes.

(Alex sighs) - It's exhausting, isn't it?

- Doing nothing, always said it was lethal.

- No, it was that bike.

Oh, talk about killing the fatt.

(Alex chuckles) - Where are you off to?

- Looking for Lovejoy.

- Oh.

He has a new toy.

- Yes, and we have a business t. (soft bright music) (knuckles rapping) Lovejoy?

(Lovejoy giggling) (Victoria giggling) (bright music) - Well, as soon as you get bore, switch everything off, lock up and give the keys to Ella.

- Will do and thanks again.

- Loved Lovejoy.

- I'll tell him.

Bye, Teddy.

- Ah, Monday morning.

- Straight after Sunday.

Gosh, life's predictable, Janey.

- Lots to do this week.

- Lots to do.

I promised we'd meet the Dalrymples today at 10:00.

I'll pick you up.

- Splendid.

- Sketch out what we have in mi.

- Fantastic.

- I'll pick you up 9:45 at the .

(Lovejoy speaks French) (gentle bright music) - [Victoria] Bye bye.

- Take care.

- Bye, Alex.

Drive carefully.

- See you later.

(gentle bright music continues) (car horn honking) - Forget something?

- Breakfast.

- He drove off five minutes bef.

He can't have vanished.

- No sign of him on the road?

- Of course not.

Oh, he's just irresponsible, totally irresponsible.

The Dalrymples are bloody good .

- Well, it's probably trouble w, that's what it'll be.

- We would have seen him, passe.

There's only one road.

- He hasn't been feeling good in himself all week.

- Well, that's right.

I said to you he looked a bit peaky, didn't I?

- That's right, you said to me he looked a bit peaky, didn't y?

- Peaky?

Oh, come on, boys.

This weekend he cycled, climbed trees, rode, swam.

God knows what he did at night.

I'll drive up to the Dalrymples.

When he calls, tell him to join.

- And what if he don't?

- Tell him he'll need a new par.

(romantic music) (birds chirping) - You smell beautifully warm.

What is it?

A little room temperature Chanel, or?

Well-chambred Nina Ricci, hm?

- I haven't worn Chanel for yea.

- When I was 20, I knew 'em all.

Nose like a gun dog.

- There weren't so many in thos.

(phone ringing) - No, no, no, no.

- Shouldn't we answer it?

- No, it's not for us.

- How do you know?

- I'm a divvy.

I know these thi.

(romantic music continues) (Victoria giggles) (phone line ringing) (birds cawing) (hammer banging) (footsteps crunching) - [Jane] Ah, Yvonne, how are yo?

- Worried.

We said the 14th, yo?

- I know.

- You're sure you'll be through?

- Oh, quite sure.

- It must be ready, Jane.

The builders finish on Saturday.

The invitations have gone out.

Abi's booked a flight from Sydn.

- It will be ready, don't worry.

- Where's Mr. Lovejoy?

- Um, I think he's looking at a.

- I did enjoy our little chat t. Keen on Sheraton, isn't he?

He did rather promise.

- There is only so much.

- Well, I realize.

But I do have your guarantee about the 14th?

- Absolutely.

- Good egg.

(quirky bright music) - Routine tests, they said, then they took her into hospita.

Next thing I knew she'd.

- I'm terribly sorry.

- Wasn't much of a life.

Husband never came back from Ko.

I'm her only relative.

- Well, the problem is, Mr. Rey, is that we don't really do house clearances.

- Oh, I see.

Well, there's no point in wasting your time then.

Only the vicar did mention the name Lovejoy.

- [Lovejoy] Morning, all.

- Excuse me, Mr. Reynolds.

What are you doing here?

You should be with Lady Jane.

Hopping mad, she is.

- Relax, Eric, relax.

Good morning.

- Morning.

- This is Mr. Reynolds.

His sister's passed on and he wants us to empty the house.

But I was just explaining.

- That it's not our scene.

Now, I'm sorry about your sister, Mr. Reynolds.

No, we deal with more legitimat.

- Yeah, so your partner told me.

Well, there are one or two nice things among the dross.

- Really?

- Yes, there's a Victorian lowboy, a couple of Kilims.

Some porcelain and salt glaze.

Is that what they call it?

- Yes, salt glaze.

- Well, it wouldn't take long if you could spare an hour.

- I'm afraid I'm run off my fee, but why don't you take my partn?

Eric?

Excuse us, Mr. Reynolds.

Eric, you're always going on about more responsibility.

You deal with this.

Take Tink with you.

- Lovejoy.

- I'll give you a float.

Two grand.

- All right.

- If it's a question of transpo, I'd be happy to drive you.

- Oh, no, no, no, we'll follow .

Don't forget Lady Jane.

- Oh, everything's under contro.

Hope we can be of assistance, Mr. Reynolds.

- Thank you, you're most kind.

(phone ringing) Lovejoy Antiques, wait for the beep.

Thank you.

(machine beeps) - Lovejoy, Jane.

I'm at the Dalrymples.

Where ar?

(bright music) Where the hell have you been?

- Janey, Janey, Janey.

An old client's sister died.

It's a sad story, we'll talk about it later.

Now what do we have to do?

- Fill it.

- All of it?

- By the 14th.

- Sh.

- Exactly.

Have you time to glance around?

- Janey, I've always got time f. I just have to be at an auction.

- In Aberdeen?

- Oh, I do love a woman with a sense of humor.

- [Janey] I've noticed.

- Hadn't the heart to move them.

Some neighbor brought them.

- Really?

- That's one of the Kilims.

- It's more.

- Grandpa Reynolds brought it back after the Great War.

Gallipoli.

- That was the start of the Persian rug craze.

- So how do you wanna work this then, Mr. Reynolds?

- No idea.

I'll be guided by yo.

- Well, I suggest that my man and I take a quick shufti, note anything of interest and then we'll talk.

- That's fine by me.

- Ah, do you have any silver?

- No idea.

- How much do your reckon the f. 50 quid?

- 25.

- [Victoria] How much?

- About four.

- 4,000 pounds?

- Four.

- Oh.

(giggles) Who are these people?

- Sweepers, runners, myths.

Pun.

It's a language all of its own.

- So I'm learning.

- You got an eye glass, Tink?

- If I've got my trousers on, I've got my eye glass.

- Who was the bloke who made the original Tobys?

- Wood, Ralph Wood.

- Uh, and these, I take it, are?

- Uh, no.

Charles Noakes, 20th century revival.

- And value?

- I thought you were going to tell me that, boss.

- You're the expert, it says 80 to 100 pounds.

It can't be worth that, surely?

- The price is the figure it's .

The value is what it's worth to.

Quite often the two have nothing to do with each other.

(soft slow suspenseful music) - Lovejoy, I found a beautiful Victorian mourning ring.

It's gold with a little band.

You found something?

- Yeah.

- You're joking, what?

- Lot 17.

- Lot 17.

"A collection of reproductions,.

Estimate 15 pounds."

Are you sure?

- Little problem.

- What?

- I'm a might well known.

(soft slow suspenseful music) - That's a grand total of, what, 1,400?

- 14.

- That's not so grand.

- Well, these aren't vintage years, Mr. Reynolds.

I mean, nobody's gonna buy a Pit when they should be buying shepherd's pie, now are they?

- Only 80 for the jugs?

- Each.

- Is that as high as you can go?

- I'm afraid so.

- Well, they're Royal Doulton.

- Chipped Royal Doulton.

- I hadn't noticed.

And.

Well, the Kilims?

- No, sorry.

- What about that watercolor ov?

(Mr. Reynolds sighs) - Look, I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Reynolds.

I'll take the Kilims and the watercolor off your hands, and I'll pay cash.

Cash, mind you.

No promissory notes, no backdated checks.

Cash.

1,500 quid in cash.

That's my l. - How much?

- 12.

- Oh, you clever girl.

Come on, I'll show you.

Rubbish, rubbish.

- Wait, that's too fast.

- No, this is all junk.

There we are.

- What does it say?

- Beckwith.

Lionel Beckwith.

- [Victoria] Who's he?

- Well, he is, was, one of the g East Anglian contemporary landscape painters.

- Is that saying much?

- Constable, Chrome, Churchyard, the Norwich School's a rich tra.

- What are they worth?

- I don't know, about 2, 3,000.

- You just made 3,000 pounds in 10 minutes.

- Sh.

3,000 pounds in 10 minutes and 25 years.

- I'm still impressed.

- Are you?

- Yes.

(gentle dramatic music) (phone ringing) - Lovejoy Associates, Eric Catchpole speaking.

- Eric, it's me.

How did you ge?

- Cracking.

We got some great s. - Well, tell, tell.

- Well, a couple of rugs.

- The Kilims?

- And some porcelain, and very nice chest of drawers,, a Victorian coal bucket, helmet, and a Dutch pewter wine flagon.

I mean, Tinker reckons that's worth 250 quid.

- Sounds good.

How much did you?

- Well, that's the best bit.

- How much?

- Terrific value.

- How much?

- Well, you'll never guess.

- How much?

- 1,500.

- You did do well.

- [Eric] Tinker reckons it's worth at least 3,000.

- When do you pick 'em up?

- Well, we're doing it now.

I borrowed an old great van.

You know, the butcher, he wanted 10 quid for it, I knocked him down to five.

- You are getting a taste for t. - [Eric] Oh, uh, Lady Jane left.

- I've called Janey, everything's under control.

Ciao for now.

What?

- Telling porky pies.

- To stop them worrying.

I don't want them involved.

- Have you ever seen Jane in fu?

It's not pretty.

Once at school she was expecting to get an A grade in O-Level Latin and she got a .

She split the blackboard from top to bottom with her forehead.

- Still, you're a hard-headed lot, aristocracy.

- Drink up.

- Why, where we going?

- I'm taking you to one of my a.

- Ooh.

(van rumbling) - God, that smell reminds me of the old days when I used to work in a slaughterhouse with my dad.

Right, we'll start with the chest and then the lowboy.

We'll get it all in, in one load, no problem.

- [Elsie] Hello.

(Eric exclaims) - Who are you?

- That's rich.

I'm Elsie Barratt, I live here.

Who are you?

- Live here?

But you're supposed to be.

Where's Mr. Reynolds?

- Who?

- Your brother.

- I haven't got a brother.

I never had one.

- Where were you, Mrs. Barratt, earlier on?

- In hospital.

I've been there for a couple of nights.

Strip and tie.

Varicose veins.

Ambulance brought me home.

- The photo's gone.

- [Elsie] What photo?

- He took it with him.

And the lilies.

- 1,500 quid.

(sighing) - At 4,244.

At 4.4, 4.6.

At 4,600, yes, 4.8.

At 4,800 I have.

What about 5,0?

5,000, thank you, sir.

At 5,000, it is, bid me more.

At 5,000.

He's worth a bit more than this, surely.

5.2, at 5,200, yeah.

- How old are these things?

- They're two-year-olds.

- [Auctioneer] 5.6, 5.8, at 5,800, 6,000 bid.

At 6,000 guineas.

He's on the m. I sell him to you across.

- He's done us.

We've been conned, Tink.

- So it would appear.

- Damn, damn, damn!

What's Lovejoy gonna say?

- Something short and pithy.

- He'll flay us alive.

- Us?

- Look, where do you think he i?

- Lovejoy?

- Reynolds.

- Having breakfast in Singapore.

Get a long way on 1,500.

- Cash as well.

The first time he trusts me.

(foot thudding) - [Auctioneer] At 8,400.

Any advance anywhere?

At 8,400.

The best bidder has him at 8,400.

(gavel clanks) Mr. Peters is it?

Thank you very much, sir, 8,4.

- Bit on the leg.

- Pardon.

- Legs are slightly out of prop.

- Oh, I thought you meant he had an extra one.

(Auctioneer muttering incoheren) Let's go.

- We've only just got here.

- Time to leave.

- Lovejoy?

(birds chirping) (bells ringing) (Tinker sighs) - [Tinker] Do you want the othe?

- Pills.

- Do you want a bottle of Pils?

- Sleeping pills.

I can't face Lovejoy.

- I was in the army with a bloke who tried to top himself once.

- How'd he do it?

- Well, after a great deal of t, he settled on hanging.

- Hanging?

- Hm.

He found a tree with a branch that stretched right out above .

- Spectacular.

- And to save himself pain, he took an overdose of pills.

- Not leaving anything to chanc?

- And just to make trebly sure, he decided to shoot himself.

- Well, what happened?

- Well, he slipped the noose around his neck, cocked the pistol, swallowed ths and stepped out over the cliff.

- And?

- Well, the jerk of the rope ruined his aim.

The bullet missed his head, cut the rope in half, he dropped like a stone into th, swallowed so much salt water that he vomited up the pills and swam back to shore a better and a wiser man than h. Last I heard he was growing chrysanths in Yarmouth.

- Do you think there's a moral in there somewhere?

(car engine revving) - Tink?

Open this.

- Lovejoy.

- In a minute, Eric.

- No, it's important.

- So is this, Eric.

- No, look.

- Eric!

I'm sorry, I'm thrilled for you.

You've done marvels.

I remember my first big win.

You never really forget it, though, do you?

I think we've come up on a treble chance here.

Take a butcher's at those.

Eric, and 500 quid you saved me.

- Ah, yeah, right.

- Much appreciated.

- What do you think, Tink?

- They're Beckwiths.

- Yeah, not done much in watercolor, has he?

- In-work sketches.

- That's what I thought.

- How much?

- 12 quid.

- 12 quid?

- In with a load of junk.

- God, somebody slipped up.

- Yeah, some poor devil.

Either very thick or very unluc.

- Ah, Lovejoy.

- Eric, I know I'm not saying much, but I really am very appreciati.

I thought I'd offer them to Jan. - But the Dalrymples want oils.

- Oh, that's right, yeah, how about your friend Deborah?

When's that gallery opening?

When is it?

- Hang on a minute.

Thursday night, wine and cheese.

The tickets are in the diary.

- Thursday night, right, give Deborah first offer.

Might help get her launched.

- That's very noble of you.

- I'm in a very noble mood thes.

Haven't you noticed, Tink?

- I don't wanna spoil your mood, but when did you last talk to J?

- I'll talk to her.

She knows I'm grafting.

Beckwiths don't grow on trees.

- Apparently they do at 12 quid.

- Well, they're three grand to .

Okay?

- Possible.

- Mm-hmm, must rush.

- Now, Lovejoy.

- Eric, I know, tomorrow morning I'll see all t. Dutch wine flagon, Tink.

Don't think I've ever seen one .

You done great.

The lad done te.

Keep at it.

- No!

- [Lovejoy] Eric, no rest for the wicked.

Must dash.

- [Deborah] My God, they're Bec.

- You like 'em?

- They're wonderful.

What about a certificate of pro?

- They're all signed.

Pop 'em in the window.

- How much?

- 5,000.

- Oh, I couldn't raise that.

- [Tinker] Banks are pretty amenable these days.

- Well, mine isn't.

Two.

- We're not running a charity.

- It's been a hell of a month.

You'd think I was decorating Windsor Castle.

- Four.

(Deborah sighs) - I can't, Tink.

Honestly, it's.

Three?

(quirky bright music) (knuckles rapping) - I've never seen him like this.

- He's never been like this.

He's besotted.

- I can't even tell him I've lost his money.

- [Jane] What money?

- His money.

- My money.

- The money.

- 1,500 smackers down the Swane.

(door thuds) - Jane, I've just seen Reg's st.

It's coming along awfully well.

- Oh, I'm glad you're pleased.

- Yes, you were right, it's suddenly coming together.

I like the table and the chairs.

Still a lot to do, though.

Seems awfully bare.

- Minimalist.

- Where's your chap Lovejoy?

- He's, um, doing the local sal.

- Buying a horse, is he?

- (laughing) Furniture.

- Just my little joke.

We thought we saw him in Newmar.

- [All Three] Oh, no, no.

- Reg is set on Sheraton, you k. - Well, we'll see.

- Good.

Keep up the good work.

- [Eric] Oh, I don't suppose there's any chance of an advanc) - [Yvonne] Advance?

- He was saying we've made a bi.

- Yes, that's right.

Looks lovely, what there is of .

Still make the 14th, won't we?

- Oh.

- Good show.

- Newmarket?

For decent furniture, he should have been in Cambridge.

- Well, it shouldn't be me who says it, Lady Jane, but you brought her here.

- Who?

- Victoria.

(foot thuds) - Eric.

- It is true.

I've thought about it myself.

- It always happens like that, just as things are going smooth.

- What does?

- An angel piddles in your beer.

(car engine rumbles) (gentle suspenseful music) (solemn music) Poor old Eric.

I felt the same when I lost my Auntie Millie.

- [Interviewer] So, Deborah, your first gallery.

You must be absolutely thrilled.

- [Deborah] Yes, I am.

It's been a lot of hard work as you can imagine.

- But you've got quite a good c. - Well, I have, I suppose I mus.

- And everybody's talking about these marvelous Beckwiths.

- Ooh.

Have you told him yet?

- All right, all right, I'm trying to catch him, aren't I?

- Debs, how the Beckwiths?

Paying for themselves?

- They're a great draw, caused a great stir.

- Yeah?

- Lots of interest.

- Good.

Victoria?

You don't kno.

Deborah Frobisher, Victoria Cav.

- Sounds Spanish.

- My late husband.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

- Jane, don't you look fabulous.

What a great outfit.

Makes you look 10 years younger.

- Well, it's nearly 10 years since you last saw me.

- Well, you see, Alexander?

You try and be nice, pay them a compliment.

- It was appreciated.

- Good.

- I like the Beckwiths.

- Hm, you thought I was playing.

- Yes, didn't I?

- I'd better see the Simpsons, catch him while he's still sobe.

- Victoria, darling, would you ?

Ever since you mentioned it, the Dalrymples have set their heart on Sheraton.

- Well, it's not easy.

He's not doing much these days.

It's a joke, Jane.

I'm still lo.

- In Newmarket?

Lovejoy, you're not pulling you.

- Janey, our business relations- - Yours is the relationship.

Mine is the business.

- Ooh, thank you.

- You looked as if you needed i.

- I do.

- Gallant of you to notice the .

- Good of you to tell me.

- Quiet.

Can we have some hush,?

Frobisher?

Is she here?

- Yes, I'm Miss Frobisher.

- Ah.

Now, these four watercolo.

You say they're Beckwiths.

- That's right.

- Well, you've been diddled.

They're fakes.

- Just a sec, I sold those to Miss Frobisher.

- And who are you?

- Lovejoy.

- Oh, a dealer.

- Yeah.

- I take it you're an expert on?

You've made a lifelong study of?

- I'm not an expert, no.

- No, but you once saw one on ar in a hairdresser's shop a very long time ago.

- I say they're Beckwiths, and what's more, they're signed.

- The signatures are also false.

- You seem to know a hell of a lot about Beckwith.

- I should do, I am Beckwith.

This is deliberate, isn't it?

Done when I have an exhibition on in London.

Time to cause me the maximum amount of embarrassment.

- I'm very sorry, Mr. Beckwith.

I apologize sincerely.

I bought them in good faith.

- Yes, well, you tell that to my solicitor.

He'll be in touch with you tomo.

In the meantime, take these pic.

- Sorry, Debbie.

Come round tomorrow morning, I'll square up with you.

- I trusted you, Lovejoy.

- Can he sue?

- I don't know.

Ask Ed Carr.

I still say he did them.

- He's the artist, he should kn.

- Thank you very much, Mr. Beck.

(phone beeping) Yes, is that the "Guardian"?

- [Lovejoy] You sold your bike,?

- Yep.

- You shouldn't have.

It's your pride and joy.

It was like your firstborn.

I'm very, very touched.

(Eric sighs) - [Eric] 1,500 quid.

- You shouldn't have.

- [Debbie] Lovejoy?

- On second thoughts, maybe you.

- 3,000 pounds, please.

- Half now, half later.

- Mr. Lovejoy, did you hear Bech on the radio this morning?

- I heard enough last night.

- Story's made Fleet Street.

- Don't sound so heartbroken.

- Looks like you've dropped Miss Frobisher in it.

- Right in it.

- Doesn't say a lot for your ju.

- Not a lot.

- Any comment?

- You know, I'm sure you'll think of something.

(car engine revving) Hey?

- Syd.

- Oh, hello, Lovejoy.

- Monday's auction, lot 17.

- "Lot 17, collection of reproductions, various."

- That's the very.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

How many pictures did you put u?

- Eight.

- Eight?

- Well, it says so here, large .

Are you saying some have gone f?

- Quite the opposite, Sydney.

I bought 12.

- Funny.

How do you explain tha?

(gentle bright music) - [Receptionist] Good morning, sir.

Can I help you?

- Hello.

It's quiet, isn't it?

How long has the exhibition bee?

- This is the second week.

- Not many visitors, not many s. - Are you interested in Beckwit?

- Now, I'm fascinated but I don't know much about him, apart from what I've read.

- The contretemps in East Angli.

Let me tell you all about him.

He's exhibited at the Hayward, the Carnegie Institute in Pitts, the Ottawa Gallery in Canada, the Palais des Beaux-Arts in Br.

He did a council tour of New Delhi and Bombay.

- Recently?

- Mid '70s.

He has canvases in the Fitzwilliam at Cambridge, the Walker Gallery in Liverpool, the Gulbenkian Foundation in Li, and the Bunkamura in Tokyo.

- Well, he gets about, doesn't ?

- And I believe he's on the "Wogan" show tonight.

- Well, I mustn't forget to be .

Still living in Suffolk, is he?

(birds chirping) (soft slow suspenseful music) No one home.

- Well, I'll say one thing, if he's starving, he's doing it.

- Six crates of champagne have just been delivered.

- Celebration time, chez Beckwi?

- A mite premature.

Come on, let's take a snoop around the back.

(gentle bright music) (gentle bright music continues) Cheeky sod.

Do you recognize it?

- Should I?

- Yeah.

- [Victoria] Definitely.

- [Lovejoy] It's not a coincide?

- [Victoria] No.

- This is his back garden.

I mean, no one else would know it was here.

- I'm convinced.

Look.

There's the statue, there's the.

- I think we've cracked it, Tob.

- Beckwith, I believe these are.

- Oh, tiresome little man, we've done all this.

- Hold on, Lionel, Mr. Rowlands?

- Yes.

- This is his back garden.

This view can't be seen from anywhere else.

The tree and the statue.

- Oh, really?

I suppose I put them into the an so that you could pop along and identify them.

- Mr. Beckwith, who said anything about an auction?

- That's right, Deborah bought .

She never mentioned an auction.

- Oh, all right, I painted them.

I admit it.

It's not a crime, is it?

- Of course not.

- 40 years of craft.

- [Toby] For God's sakes.

- I won the Turner before these house painters were born.

Stacking bricks in those days got you onto a building site, not into the Tate.

- I'm on your side, Lionel.

- I was just trying to drum up .

I was trying to sell some more .

- It's good.

Very good.

What's good for you is very goo.

I mean, what would you say they're worth now, Mr. Rowlands?

I mean, now they're quite famou.

- Well, off the top, I'd say 4,000 a piece, wouldn't you, Lionel?

- [Lionel] I don't see why not?

- Sell them for me.

- For you.

But they're mine.

- No, they're not, they're mine.

Remember the auction?

Still got the sale ticket.

- But you only paid 12 quid for.

- I know, hell of a bargain.

- There's also damages.

- [Beckwith] What?

- My solicitor, Ed Carr.

Carr, Palmer & Huntley.

- Yes, slander, in front of wit.

- What slander?

- You defamed Lovejoy's professional standing.

Defamation injurious to professional reputation.

Well, it isn't a criminal offense but it's the High Court.

Judge, jury, finger bowls.

- Does it have to go to court?

- Settle out of court?

- How much?

- Um, that much.

- That much?

But that's 35,000 .

- That's exactly the sum we had.

(pen clinking) - Lovejoy, there's a corporate t you don't know about.

- Pray tell.

- Elsie Barratt.

- The lady who didn't die.

- She called us.

She had a piece of antique furniture in an outhouse.

- Old privy, actually.

- She asked if we'd sell it for.

- What is it?

- Secretaire bookcase.

- George III.

- Mahogany.

Cuban, we thought.

- I thought.

- Tinker thought.

- We had it valued at 3,500 and we split it with her.

- You've sold it already?

- Yes, to the Dalrymples.

Remember them?

The lady you hooked on Sheraton?

Well, they like it and it looks.

- Smashing.

- So you see, we've all been bu.

- I think you're all terrific.

- Thank you.

It's a pity about the Beckwiths, all that good work wasted.

Made us all look stupid.

- Yeah, speaking of Beckwiths.

Now, the Dalrymples, they're really heavily into oils, aren't they, Janey?

Then they should take a look at.

- That's a Beckwith.

- Yes.

- It's a nice one.

- Isn't it a nice one, Tinker?

- How?

- Explanations later.

Stick this in the till, Eric.

- 12,000 pounds?

What's that fo?

- The Beckwiths.

- You mean, the Beckwiths that ?

- No, the Beckwiths that are.

He admitted he did them.

I flogged them to the gallery showing the exhibition.

- [Eric] So you were right all .

- Well, did one ever doubt one?

4,000 a piece, Eric.

- Well, then we're 4,000 down.

It should be 16,000, not 12,000.

- No, no, no, I owed Deborah 1,?

And another 1,000 for ruining her party, et cetera.

- Well, then, we're still 1,500.

- Come with me, Eric.

- [Eric] This is ridiculous.

- Keep those eyes closed, Eric.

- What's going on?

- [Tinker] Eric, faith.

- Keep him coming, Tink.

- What's going on?

- Trust your friends.

- Open 'em.

- A Harley, wow!

Is it for me?

Oh, Lovejoy.

- Don't forget we have a house .

- That's not till the 24th.

(Harley engine revving) - The 14th!

(cheerful bright music) - Hey!

(playful bright music) (playful bright music continues) (playful bright music continues) (inspirational music)