This and more coming up on the Whitney Reynolds Show.

But I started to realize that the world thought I was on top of my game.

Here I was on Forbes list of the richest self-made women.

I mean, from the outside, it was like this star entrepreneur, billion dollar brand, but on the inside, I was struggling.

[announcer] Support for the Whitney Reynolds Show is provided by...

Together at Peace, a community dedicated to spreading the light that still shines bright, helping foster a connection to those we love and lost.

Offering suggestions, products, and curated event templates to move forward with their spirits.

We are forever together at peace.

K O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

JoePerillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned luxury vehicles.

JoePerillo.com is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

And by Fair Oaks Farms, an escape to the country with acres of fun, fresh food and learning where you can explore family-owned farms and reconnect with nature, animals and our planet.

Additional support provided by Kevin Kelly Real Estate Agent, Midwest Moving & Storage.

Brendon Studzinski with State Farm, Bark Busters Chicago, Concierge Aesthetics & Plastic Surgery, and these funders.

Hello and welcome to the Whitney Reynold Show.

We are so glad you have found us.

Today's topic is Peace, Love and Mental Health, and we're going to dive into each of those three words and discover the power they all hold.

[opening theme music] Growing up, I mean, I was born in '73.

In the late 70s and early 80s, little people were not accepted like they are today with all the television shows.

So the looks, the stares, the whole nine yards, the people pulling their kids away because God forbid you touch me, you might wake up short.

Yeah.

I mean, you had a lot of society interactions.

[piano music] [Whitney] A musician, composer, teacher, and role model.

That's Chris Errera in our studio today embracing his true self.

He has suffered many battles with depression and anxiety while growing up and through his adult years due to his condition that posed a challenge for him at certain points throughout life.

[Chris] My parents are both medical, so they were not-- First off, they said, "You're going to live in a big world "because that's the only world there is, "and you've got to learn to overcome it.

Second of all, you've got to be you and be proud of you."

I'm proud of Chris Errera.

I'm not like anybody else.

I won't act like anybody else.

I won't copy anybody else.

But I will set a great example.

And that's what I'm all about.

It's more about setting the example.

[Whitney] And as a performer, he is now setting that example for other people to help cope with anxiety and fear and take control of their mental health the same way he did.

I want to be the light.

I want to see and show people, hey, you know what?

It doesn't matter what you have.

Being someone with this disability, being the only little person with my condition.

My condition is diastrophic dwarfism.

I'm the only person in the world that can play at my level because my fingers don't bend.

They're fused.

If you have a passion, if you have a love, go for it.

In the past few months and stuff like that, you start hearing people.

These are people coming out.

Coming out saying, "I'm stage fright.

I'm not comfortable."

You know, it's always been this hidden behind closed doors secret that I have these issues.

And now that people are coming out and the topic of mental awareness is such a large part, people forget that performers, all of us as performers, really suffer from it.

When I would do concerts or recitals when I was growing up, my hands would sweat profusely.

I think I battled with depression most of my life, but when I really took action on my own self-- I was in my early 30s, when I actually went and saw a professional.

And really, I wanted to understand because all of us, it's up to us as individuals to learn about us.

You know, the stigma of, oh, my God, you're seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist, or you have a-- That stigma needs to go.

I worked through over time and it was more trial by fire.

[Whitney] Controlling his internal dialog and taking action of his own life, Chris encourages others to do the same, especially for performers, as he now coaches those in similar situations.

I created these workshops because I found that there was a hole within all of like, college, any kind of professional performing arts, there's a hole.

There's an actual need.

Nobody is teaching how to perform.

Everybody teaches you a musical instrument.

They teach you how to read music.

They teach you how to play the song.

What's the next step?

Throw you on stage for a concert or a recital.

They don't sit back and say, okay, these are the experiences.

This is the emotions you might feel.

My first concert I ever did at the Prairie Arts Center in Schaumburg was a big concert hall.

It was my first concert of my solo album.

The curtain comes up.

The place is packed.

I'm ready to go.

I hit that key.

I hit the first key and it was just a clunker.

It was [mimicking bad piano chord].

[Whitney] Oh.

I mean, it was bad.

My brain was spinning like, oh, my God, oh, my gosh, what am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

And I took real quick-- And this is when I realized.

I pushed myself away from the piano, got up, walked to the edge of the stage, and I bowed.

And I said, "Now for song number two."

[Whitney laughs] And that, as a performer, I'm trying to teach too, they're not there to hear the mistakes.

They're here to see you.

I want other people.

I want people that are maybe ten or 11 that maybe have some kind of performing arts capability.

But I don't want them sitting there going, "Well, I can't do that because I look like this."

Well, why not?

Embrace it, embold it, move it?

[Whitney] And it's that same attitude that has helped Chris understand his mental health, allowing him to shine as a performer and role model, whether it's through his words of inspiration or the music that comes from within.

[piano music] [upbeat music] Next up, we sit down with an entrepreneur, and you probably know her name.

I think I was born optimistic.

I have always had a very sunny personality, very friendly and outgoing.

But I've always tried to look for the good in people and the things around me.

Even when things were hard, I would try to see the silver lining.

And I think having that-- I mean, and there are days, and I talk in this book, where even I had trouble finding the silver lining and I needed others around me to help reignite the light inside myself.

[Whitney] Fashion designer and entrepreneur Kendra Scott has developed a name for herself as a successful businesswoman.

Appearing at the top of Forbes list and gaining recognition by other media outlets along the way.

This journey, though, has not always been an easy one, and she opens up about it in her book "Born to Shine."

It's not just about the successes, but a lot about the failures, too, because I really talk a lot about failing forward.

That sometimes you need these missteps, these failures, these bumps along the road that help you get to the place where you're going next.

And that information that you learn during those times is what is the bridge to get you to the next place you're going.

So, I felt like it was so important to share those things, but also just show by having an optimistic view on life is really the way to live a life of happiness.

And I started to think, okay, I want to do this book in 2020.

The world was like a disaster, right?

I, as a CEO, had to temporarily close over 100 store locations.

My father, who has been like my number one supporter, biggest fan, had two major heart attacks and almost died and I was caring for him, and I was going through a divorce, and I had some personal health issues.

And it was just like I'd wake up and be like, it can't get any worse.

But I started to realize that the world thought I was on top of my game.

Here I was on Forbes list of the richest self-made women.

I mean, from the outside, it was like this star entrepreneur, billion dollar brand, but on the inside I was struggling, and I thought, God, how many people are out there putting on their shiny, happy faces on Instagram or wherever, but inside might be really hurting?

And if I could share that, if I could be vulnerable, maybe others could feel like they could be vulnerable too, and understand that like, we're all human, and that this struggle is part of what makes us, us.

[Whitney] Being vulnerable about her path to success, she hopes that her story can bring out the best in everyone, something she witnessed firsthand when she was approached by someone from her childhood.

I went back to my hometown in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and I wanted to go back to kind of where it all started.

We had a sold out event and you won't believe it, but in the chapters, the bully who actually beat me up in the Pizza Hut parking lot, came to the event and she came to apologize.

And she said when she read the chapter, she knew it was her and that her daughter and her talked about it and she said, "Mom, you've got to go."

And she came and apologized.

We had this amazing moment.

Of course, I forgave her.

We hugged and embraced.

You know, you've got to be able to forgive.

And once you're able to do that, it's like this peace comes over you.

And I think all of us in our lives are looking for that peace.

If there's one thing we all want, that's it.

A peaceful self, a peaceful well-being, and forgiveness is a path to that for sure.

So, Born to Shine, is, you know, look, we're all born to shine.

We are all unique individuals with innate and immense value.

But we also need to be the people that can help shine the light for others that may need that.

[theme music] My mother would always tell me, you know, you're wonderful, you're beautiful, but when I stepped out those doors, society had other answers for me.

So, I would always go back to my mother and ask her, "Are you telling me the truth?"

And as a parent, she always reassured me and said, "James, you know what?

"It is okay.

And what I'm telling you is no lie."

[Whitney] James McCleary grew up during a time where his skin condition was largely unknown.

The love that surrounded him at home was not the same when he was around others, which created an internal conflict with himself, and that took a toll on his mental well-being.

I developed a skin condition at a very early age called vitiligo at the age of 18 months old at birth.

So, for me, it was just one of those things that I almost, you know, was born into this world of insecurity, not knowing who I was, because society would tell me I was different.

Kids and adults have these questions.

What happened to your face?

Were you burnt?

Were you in a fire?

Early during my childhood, I did wear "mental health" on my face.

I mean, psychologically, most people would see me as a disadvantage or feel pity about my skin condition.

No health care provider, no dermatologist, no one knew what vitiligo was.

There's a lot of emotional challenge that goes in with that.

And people don't understand psychologically that you really have to work on yourself, but it starts with you.

And then growing up and being African American, there was no such thing as going to a therapist.

Go to church, you know.

Get your faith and, you know, stuff like that.

But we didn't talk about therapy.

At the end of the day, people would ask me what happened to my face.

No one never asked me what was my name and how I felt inside.

[Whitney] His childhood was not easy, but one interaction at school projected James on this journey of positive thinking and doing.

Most kids thought what I had on my face was contagious.

So I remember every day in elementary school going into the cafeteria and it was like all eyes on me.

And most kids would look at me and say, "No, you can't sit with us."

So, I remember sitting at this one table and these kids were always saying, "Hey, man, you can't sit here."

And I remember I decided just to put a smile on my face.

And the same kid who always would make fun of me, he stopped making fun of me.

He said, "Man, you're so happy.

What's with the smile?"

And at that time, I didn't really know how to process that or articulate it to come back to him.

And I remember lining back up in that lunch line, going back to our classroom and I get a tap on my shoulder and it was the same kid.

He said, "Thank you."

And I'm like, what is he thanking me for?

He said, "No one ever smiled at me the way you smiled at me.

Ever since then, I never underestimated the power of a simple smile as a young boy.

And that was like my first step of stepping into self-love and appreciating who I am.

Like, my smile was like my first best friend.

My second best friend was the mirror because then I started just building myself up every single day.

I just want to help empower others to overcome their insecurities and fears no matter what they may be.

And I have a contribution where I want to change the world one person at a time, and I want to meet one person a day to help them with their breakthrough or just give them a different outlook on life or a different perspective.

But be the reason why you smile and someone else smiles today.

But most importantly, I want to use my visual difference to make an impact in someone else's life.

[Whitney] James has continued on this path of being a light for others everywhere he goes.

He has since released a book encouraging all kids to not only embrace their true selves, but everyone else around them.

It's just another step along this path of overcoming hardship and inspiring positive change.

The Boy Behind the Face, which is about a boy named James who didn't like the fact that he was different.

And James wasn't afraid of the monster that was under his bed.

James was afraid of the monster that he'd seen every single day in the mirror.

So, one day, James decided he didn't want to be afraid.

He didn't want to be sad anymore.

So, James becomes his own superhero and he chased that monster away with kindness, love and bravery.

I don't mention vitiligo because I want it to resonate with so many people in the world.

I don't have to mention vitiligo, but I have a visual difference.

I wanted my message to relate with everybody.

I just know it's bigger than me.

It's bigger than vitiligo.

I want to help people turn their insecurities into their superpower.

And I just feel like I'm just a service.

I'm a service and I just want to help others.

I want when people see me, I want to bring joy to them.

I want to be inspirational, and I just want to be uplifting and just be an encouragement.

There can be stigmas around mental help and our next guest helps us debunk some of these theories.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me.

It's a pleasure to be here.

We're talking peace, love and mental health.

And you are actually someone that helps people find peace and helps them connect the dots on their mental health journey.

But you, too, had to do that in your own life.

Yes, that's absolutely right.

So, when I was 16, my mother was driving home and she said her worst nightmare was to have a daughter who was a lesbian.

Fast forward two years later, I kissed a girl.

And so one of my big mental health struggles was coming to terms with my sexuality and being raised Mormon and the conflict that those two thoughts or desires or passions had.

You said two things that I find very interesting.

You bring in mental health of who potentially people think you should be and reckoning with who you actually are, and then also religion.

How did you move past that moment and say, this is who I am and I'm happy with that?

That took ten years.

So moments-- I think when people think about working through something, they just want it to happen, right?

And we don't get where we are today overnight.

So, I sought therapy.

How do I live a life that's genuine to myself, but also figure out how to do that in a way that is respectful to what my core belief was being raised.

I always say, you can take the Mormon out of the-- the girl out of the church, but sometimes it's harder to get the church out of the girl, which is why therapy is important.

Why did you know you needed therapy?

Like, why did you know this would help?

Because at the time, you weren't a therapist, but you knew you needed it.

A formal definition of psychologists, they call it cognitive dissonance.

And that's when an individual struggles holding two opposing thoughts at the same time.

Let's say you want to save money, but you spend money.

So, every time you spend money, you feel guilty.

You feel shame.

I felt a desire to have a relationship with a girl.

It felt very natural to me.

But my religious side was telling me, "This isn't okay.

"You're going to go to hell forever.

Sacrifice your happiness for religion."

And so, I felt shame.

I felt guilt.

It was uncomfortable.

And so to move past that, I thought, I'll go talk to somebody neutral, right?

Somebody who's objective who could potentially help me.

And therapy did that.

It is about trusting yourself, trusting your gut.

I don't believe we do that enough in society.

We're told what to do.

Am I a bad person because I kiss a girl?

I do all these other things.

I'm honest.

I help neighbors.

These things that would not be bad.

But this one thing is keeping me, which is love, which stems from a place of happiness, but that's creating guilt and shame within me.

And so, I had to resolve those.

I had to come to a place where I could stand before my mother and risk her disowning me.

So, you're saying, spell out in your life of if this one thing is your hurdle, look at everything else holistically.

Is that what you're saying?

Yes, holistically.

How does that fit in?

And also, when we're little, we believe that what we are taught is the only way to live or that it's normal.

So, often children I work with, children from abusive homes, they think that every home is like that.

They think every parent talks to their child like that.

And it's not until we grow up, we move out hopefully.

Sometimes people, families stay in small communities and then they don't see other ways of viewing the world.

And it's not that one's right or wrong.

It's that there is more roads that lead to Rome.

And does it always have to be something super tragic that gets you into therapy?

No.

It can just be kind of working out the kinks that make us us and understanding them.

But you don't have to unpack everything at once.

And mental health, you've worked with clients?

[Bethany] Yes.

What would you say is key when we focus on what can give us peace and keep us very healthy mentally?

Yes, that's a great question.

It is the very first of your statement, learning to love yourself.

We can't feel peace if our actions and what we're doing, we're not comfortable with.

And it is really important in life to find peace and love.

To say to yourself, what makes me tick?

Challenging those thoughts that are different from those around you.

Do boundaries bring more mental health awareness?

They do.

You know, my wife is British and the Brits have this saying that fences make good neighbors.

[Whitney] Hmm.

[Bethany] Because I stop.

You start.

Knowing where somebody's limits are is really important.

I don't think we actively go out in the world wanting to, like, brush and run through everybody's boundaries.

If we're unaware of our own and we're unaware of others, we're bleeding everywhere.

And then people get mad and then there's miscommunication.

I see that a lot in family therapy and relationships that I work with.

We want the same thing.

How we get there might be different, or we see it differently, or we're not respecting somebody's boundary.

Whether that's a personal boundary, a space boundary.

And we don't have to agree to respect it.

And you are a therapist.

Are you still in therapy yourself?

I call them tune-ups.

[Whitney] Tune-ups.

I love that.

I love it.

So, once in a while I'll go get a tune-up or supervision or something.

But yes, it's not a one-and-done.

To your point, you don't have to have something massive to go to therapy.

Just if you have a dilemma, go talk it out with somebody.

Thank you so much for coming on.

It's a pleasure.

Thank you.

[theme music] We have talked peace, love and mental health.

And hopefully we got you closer to those three words today.

Remember, your story matters.

[announcer] Support for the Whitney Reynolds Show is provided by...

Together at Peace, a community dedicated to spreading the light that still shines bright, helping foster a connection to those we love and lost.

Offering suggestions, products, and curated event templates to move forward with their spirits.

We are forever together at peace.

K O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

JoePerillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned luxury vehicles.

JoePerillo.com is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

And by Fair Oaks Farms, an escape to the country with acres of fun, fresh food and learning where you can explore family-owned farms and reconnect with nature, animals and our planet.

Additional support provided by Kevin Kelly Real Estate Agent, Midwest Moving & Storage.

Brendon Studzinski with State Farm, Bark Busters Chicago, Concierge Aesthetics & Plastic Surgery, and these funders.

[Whitney] Want more of the Whitney Reynold show?

Don't miss our season finale.

[man] You've got 1,500 juveniles every year getting arrested in a small neighborhood like North Lawndale.

Crime, it is not something that we can arrest our way out of.

Real transformation takes place in the healing circle because you have a greater understanding of what happened and a greater human connection to the people impacted by it.

I just got terrified.

Like, I just heard screaming and yelling and I just took off running.

This man saw grace and mercy at me and took my sorry, and his next response was, "Are you okay?

Mijo, are you okay?

How are you?"

And I put my head down and I just busted in tears.

I get stares out in public.

I've heard kids like, "Mom, it's a monster," or run from her, or like, just say different things because she looked different.

And I was just expecting all of that on my social media.

But what I got was like, "Oh my gosh, she's beautiful."

"You all are amazing."

"Look how you care for her."

Like, "She's clean," and, "Her hair is done."

Different things like that.

And then DMs with women sending me prayers and you know, millions of women all over the world from like,Tanzania, Uganda, Iran.

Like sending me their pictures of their special needs children and telling me their stories and how I'm helping them.

And I'm like, I'm helping somebody?

Like, I'm the one that needs the help, you know?

So, I'm helping and inspiring people.

That kept me moving forward.

And so, when you're talking food insecurity and hunger, hunger is a feeling, a physical feeling of hunger.

Food insecurity is the lack of consistent, healthy options.

So, you're talking about a lack of access, a lack of quality, and a lack of consistency.

So, for our organization, not only do we deliver with these weekly boxes, but I have a resident liaison, Desiree, who does bi-weekly touchpoints on every recipient household collecting perception-based data.

And so, we also know how they feel about our organization, our program, and the quality of the produce.

[Whitney] For more information on today's program, visit Whitney Reynolds.com or get social with us.

Facebook @WhitneyReynoldsShow, Twitter @whitneyreynolds, or on TikTok and Instagram whitney_reynolds.

[kids] Our mommy!