♪ ♪ >> TEMPORARY MAY MAKE FOR STRONGER STEEL BUT IN THE HUMAN, TOO MUCH STRESS CAN HURT THE HUMAN PSYCH.

STAY WITH US AS WE TALK ABOUT WAYS TO NEGATE AND CONTROL NEGATIVE STRESSORS NEXT ON "KENTUCKY HEALTH."

>> "KENTUCKY HEALTH" IS FUNDED IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE FOUNDATION FOR A HEALTHY KENTUCKY.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> JOHN ADD JOHN ADAMS WAS NOT WRONG WHEN HE SAID PEOPLE AND NATIONS ARE FORGED IN THE FIRE.

WHEN DONE TEMPORARILY, IT PRODUCES METALS OF SUPERIOR STRENGTH AND FUNCTION.

HOWEVER DONE INAPPROPRIATELY, THE RESULTING PRODUCT MAY BE BRITTLE AND CRACK UNDER STRESS; RENDERING IT USELESS FOR THE INTENDED PURPOSE.

THE STOIC CONCEPT THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL US MAKES US STRONGER, WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE THAT IT IS THROUGH ADVERSITY THAT WE TOUGHEN THE HUMAN PSYCHE.

TODAY TO CONSIDER HARDENING OUR RESOLVE OF A TRIAL THROUGH FIRE IS TO BOTH IGNORE THE COMPLEXITIES OF THE WORLD IN WHICH WE ARE NOW LIVING AND THE INEQUITY IN THE DISTRIBUTION OF ADVERSITY.

AS WE ARE CONSTANTLY BEING REMINDED, THE WORLD IS A SCARY PLACE AND WE MUST BE CONSTANTLY VIGILANT.

SADLY, FOR SOME OF US, THIS IS NOT A PERCEPTION BUT RATHER A REALITY.

THE BEHAVIOR EXHIBITED BY THOSE WHOSE REALITY IS FILLED WITH MULTIPLE STRESSES MAY BE A MEANS OF SURVIVAL EVEN THOUGH IT MAY SEEM INAPPROPRIATE TO THOSE OF US AWAY FROM THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.

TO HELP US IDENTIFY THESE STRESSORS AND UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN NEGATE WHEN POSSIBLE AND CONTROL WHEN WE CAN'T, WE HAVE AS OUR GUEST MISS LAUREN MUIR EARNED HER BACHELOR DEGREE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE AND MASTER DEGREE AT WEBSTER UNIVERSITY.

SHE IS NOW A DOCTORAL STUDENT ATIKA PELL LA UNIVERSITY PURSUING A DEGREE IF HUMAN SERVICES LICENSED CLINICAL PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR AND ALONG WITH RENESHA MARTIN, FOUNDED MARTIN AND MUIR COUNSELING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING WITH US.

>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

>> TELL ME ABOUT MUIR COUNSELING.

DO YOU SEE JUST CHILDREN OR CHILDREN AND ADULTS, ADOLESCENTS?

HOW DOES IT WORK?

>> MARTIN AND MUIR COUNSELING WE STARTED OUT PRIMARILY FOCUSED ON SERVING YOUTH, ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS BUT NOW SINCE THE PANDEMIC, THE LAST THREE AND A HALF YEARS, WE SERVICE INDIVIDUALS AGED 10 AND OLDER.

>> 10 AND OLDER.

>> I'M HAVING A HARD TIME TRYING TO IMAGINE 10 YEAR OLDS REQUIRING COUNSELING IS THIS A NEW THING OR BECAUSE IT'S AVAILABLE THAT PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO AVAIL THEMSELVES OF THIS?

>> I WOULD SAY IS THAT THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A NEED FOR CHILD COUNSELING BECAUSE CHILDREN GO THROUGH DIFFERENT TRANSITIONS, EMOTIONS, HAVE BEHAVIORAL ISSUES, THINGS LIKE THAT.

BUT DEFINITELY OVER THE PAST PROBABLY FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS, IF NOT A LITTLE BIT LESS, THERE DEFINITELY IS MORE OF AN AWARENESS OF THE NEED OF COUNSELING, THE STIGMA IS STARTING TO KIND OF BREAK OR IT'S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO HAVE A THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR SO MORE PEOPLE ARE SEEKING OUT FOR THE SERVICES.

>> I'M WONDERING, IS OUR BEHAVIOR CONTINGENT UPON THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN WHICH WE FIND OURSELVES, OR IS IT ALSO REFLECTIVE OF PAST EXPERIENCES?

HOW DO YOU LOOK AT THAT?

>> YES, BOTH.

SO I BELIEVE THAT OUR BEHAVIOR IS DEFINITELY COMES FROM PAST EXPERIENCES.

EACH INDIVIDUAL ALSO PERCEIVES DIFFERENT SITUATIONS DIFFERENTLY BASED ON THEIR PAST EXPERIENCES, BASED ON THEIR INTERACTIONS WITH A CERTAIN PERSON, BASED ON THEIR MOOD FOR THAT DAY, BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS.

OFTEN TIMES WE REACT IN SITUATIONS BASED ON THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO US IN THE PAST.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN NEW BEHAVIORS SO EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN EXHIBITING A CERTAIN BEHAVIOR, THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN HOW TO RECOGNIZE LIKE CERTAIN TRIGGERS, WHETHER THAT'S PEEP, PLACES, THINGS, SMELLS, PEOPLE, AND LEARN HOW TO REACT IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

>> IS THAT TRUE FOR ADULTS AS WELL AS IT IS FOR CHILDREN?

>> YES.

SO ADULTS AND CHILDREN BOTH HAVE THE ABILITY TO ADAPT TO CERTAIN SURROUNDINGS AND LIKE I SAID, LEARN NEW COPING SKILLS.

BREAK DOWN DEFENSE MECHANISMS TO BE ABLE TO CHOOSE OR ACT IN DIFFERENT WAYS IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS.

>> YOU KNOW, CERTAIN BEHAVIOR, I'M WONDERING, SEEMS APPROPRIATE IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS.

YOU KNOW, AND I THINK IF YOU, TO ME AT LEAST, IF WE REMOVE A PERSON FROM A PARTICULAR SITUATION AND THEY HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO ACT ONE WAY TOWARDS A STRESS AND PUT THEM IN A DIFFERENT WAY, SOME OF US MAY LOOK AT THAT AND SAY WHY THIS IS PERSON ACTING AGGRESSIVELY?

ANOTHER THING, ONE OF MY INSTRUCTORS IN PSYCHIATRY SAID NOT IF YOU ACT MANIC.

IF YOU ACT MANIC AROUND SOMEONE WHO SEES YOU ACTING MANIC WHICH CAUSES THE PROBLEM.

THE PROBLEM FOR ME IS HOW DO YOU DIFFERENTIATE SURVIVAL MECHANISMS WHICH ARE APPROPRIATE, SELF PROTECTIVE MECHANISMS, WHICH ARE MAY BE APPROPRIATE AND COPING, THINGS PEOPLE DO-- THAT'S A LOT TO PUT ON YOUR PLATE.

BREAK IT DOWN FOR ME.

WE HAVE TIME.

>> SO SURVIVAL.

SO I WOULD SAY, IN MY OPINION, I THINK THAT WE HAVE ALL LEARNED WAYS TO NAVIGATE THROUGH LIFE.

BASED ON THE WAY WE GREW UP, BASED ON OUR PAST EXPERIENCES, WE'VE ALL HAD SOME TYPE OF TRAUMA IN SOME WAYS, SOME BIGGER THAN OTHERS.

SO I DO BELIEVE THAT WE ALL HAVE LEARNED SURVIVAL SKILLS TO PROTECT OURSELVES IN CERTAIN SETTINGS OR AROUND CERTAIN PEOPLE.

ALSO ALONG WITH THAT, IS SOMETIMES THAT IS NOT ALWAYS A REAL THREAT, BUT IT'S A PERCEIVED THREAT.

SO IF YOUR BRAIN IS PERCEIVING THAT THERE IS A POTENTIAL THREAT, WE ARE GOING TO REACT THE SAME WAY.

I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.

SO A LOT OF PEOPLE-- I WORK WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE INVOLVED IN MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENTS, TOO.

AND SO THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A SIGNIFICANT MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENT AND THE NEXT TIME YOU GET IN THE CAR, YOUR BODY IS RESPONDING THE SAME WAY IT DID THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN THE CAR.

IT COULD BE THAT EVERYBODY AROUND YOU IS DRIVING SAFE, RIGHT?

BUT YOUR BRAIN IS PERCEIVING EVERY CAR THAT DRIVES BY AS A POTENTIAL THREAT TO YOU.

AND SO YOU RESPOND THE SAME WAY.

AS FAR AS COPING SKILLS GO, SO COPING SKILLS SHOULD BE MORE POSITIVE.

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S THE RIGHT WORD BUT MORE POSITIVE THINGS THAT YOU ARE DOING.

LIKE YOU ARE AWARE, AND YOU HAVE TECHNIQUES AND SKILLS THAT YOU POTENTIALLY HAVE LEARNED FROM A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL OR SOMEONE IN THE MENTAL HEALTH WELL-BEING SPACE TO HELP YOU COPE WITH THE DAY-TO-DAY FUNCTIONING IN AND OUT.

VERSUS YOUR DEFENSE MECHANISMS ARE KIND OF LIKE I THINK LIKE WALLS THAT GO UP OR, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU DON'T TRUST OR YOU DON'T LET PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU OR GET NEXT TO YOU OR LEARN THINGS NEXT TO YOU AND A COPING SKILL IS MORE PROACTIVE AND POSITIVE YOU ARE IMPLEMENTING TO ABLE TO COPE WITH THINGS, LIFE STRESSORS OR TRANSITIONS YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH FROM DAY TO DAY.

>> I'M FROM D.C.

ORIGINALLY, AND MOVING TO LOUISVILLE, SLOWER PACED, DIFFERENT.

GOING BACK TO D.C., I KNOW I DON'T HAVE THE EDGE THAT'S NECESSARY TO LIVE IN THE D.C., NEW YORK CITY, BOSTON OR BIG CITIES LIKE THAT.

WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?

WHAT AM I DOING?

I MEAN... [LAUGHTER] >> TELL ME A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THE EDGE.

>> YOU GET ON THE BUS AND YOU KNOW, YOU PUT THE FACE ON.

>> OH YES.

>> THAT SORT OF THING.

IS THAT PART OF-- TELL ME?

YOU SEE THAT.

YOU SEE PEOPLE DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

>> I THINK A LITTLE BIT OF THAT IS PROTECTION.

I'M FROM PADUCAH, KENTUCKY, WHICH IS A VERY SMALL TOWN AND THEN HERE IN LOUISVILLE BUT I'M THINKING WHEN YOU GO TO THOSE BIGGER CITIES, LIKE YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY TOLD DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT.

THERE IS THIS THING, ROBBERIES ON EVERY TRAIN STATION AND SUBWAY.

YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO A BUBBLE TO PROTECTORS.

DEFENSE MECHANISM.

I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, GOING TO STAY IN MY BUBBLE, TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

>> I WOOND-- I WONDER WHEN WE SEE KIDS WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OR AT LEAST AROUND ENVIRONMENTS WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF STRESSORS, NEGATIVE STRESSORS GOING ON.

GUNSHOTS, DEATHS, HOW IS A KID SUPPOSED TO PROCESS THAT?

HOW DO YOU HELP THEM?

SO THAT THEY DON'T INTERNALIZE THAT?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

THAT IS-- I MEAN THAT'S A CHALLENGE BECAUSE A LOT OF KIDS IN THOSE SITUATIONS THEY'RE IN THOSE SWAYINGS EVERY DAY.

THEY HAVE LEARNED TO SURVIVE, ADAPT AND SURVIVE.

THEY'RE WAY SMARTER THAN WE GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR BECAUSE AT A VERY EARLY AGE, THEY HAVE LEARNED HOW TO NAVIGATE THEIR ENVIRONMENTS AND HOW TO PROTECT THEMSELVES BASED ON SOUNDS, BASED ON CERTAIN PEOPLE BEING AROUND.

THEY HAVE LEARNED TO OBSERVE THEIR ENVIRONMENTS TO LITERALLY PROTECT THEMSELVES DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

I THINK YOU SEE A LOT OF THAT WHEN KIDS TRANSITION INTO SCHOOL AND THE EXPECTATION IS ARE THAT THEY ARE GOING TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY AND PEOPLE MAY EVEN THINK AND YOU SEE IT IN KIDS THAT TRANSITION INTO FOSTER HOMES.

PEOPLE MAY THINK NOW THAT YOU ARE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT, YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

THRE DON'T KNOW THAT ENVIRONMENT.

THEY KNOW HOW TO OPERATE IN CHAOS.

THEY KNOW HOW TO OPERATE WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT THE NEXT SECOND OR NEXT MINUTE.

THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE IN A SAFE, CALM ZONE.

IT'S SLOWING DOWN THEIR NERVOUS SYSTEM AND GETTING ABLE TO PROCESS THEIR TRAUMA AND INTRODUCING NEW WAYS TO COPE IN THESE NEW ENVIRONMENTS AND WHILE THEY'RE AT HOME OR DEALING WITH THE DIFFERENT STRESSORS THEY MAY DEAL WITH AT HOME.

>> WHAT ARE THE LONG-TERM COMPLICATIONS FOR THAT INDIVIDUAL WHO WE ARE PUTTING THEM IN A CLASSROOM, OKAY, NOW, I WANT YOU TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE PLUS ONE EQUALS TO OR ALGEBRAIC CONCEPT.

ARE THEY CONCENTRATING ON THAT?

>> IN TODAY'S WORLD, NO.

I DO GO WORK AND SEE CLIENTS IN THE SCHOOLS AND I THINK THAT THAT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR KIDS TO FOCUS ALL DAY DURING THIS TIME IN THEIR LIVES.

THEY'RE STRUGGLING WITH THE PRESSURE OF SOCIAL MEDIA, DIVORCE RATES ARE HIGH, INCARCERATION RATES FOR PARENTS ARE HIGH.

SUBSTANCE USE IN KIDS IS HIGH.

GUN VIOLENCE IN THE CITY OF LOUISVILLE IS HIGH.

EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR WORLD IS VERY DIFFICULT SO TO EXPECT THEM TO GO INTO A SCHOOL SETTING AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL RELATED TOPICS, MOST KIDS THAT I WORK WITH AT LEAST, THEY'RE JUST NOT ABLE TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NOT A REALISTIC EXPECTATION FOR THEM.

>> THERE WAS A TIME, I'M CONSIDERABLY OLDER, AND I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN YOU WOULD GO TO SCHOOL, YOU WOULD MAY HAVE A BULLY, YOU MAY HAVE SOME ABUSE, TAUNTING, YOU NAME IT GOING ON IN THE CLASSROOM.

BUT YOU WALKED AWAY FROM THAT AT THE END OF THE SCHOOL DAY.

>> YES.

>> THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN ANYMORE, DOES IT?

>> NO, THANKS TO OUR FRIEND SOCIAL MEDIA, THIS NEW CONCEPT OF TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA, SO NOW IF SOMETHING HAPPENS AT SCHOOL, YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW, CERTAIN SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHERE THEN INSTANTLY WHATEVER HAPPENED HAS BEEN SENT OUT-- I MEAN IT COULD BE SENT OUT TO MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT DIFFERENT SCHOOLS.

AND THEN THOSE PEOPLE ARE SENDING IT TO THEIR FRIENDS AND NOW SOMEBODY IS CREATING A REEL OR A MEME.

I'M A LITTLE SAVVY IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA WORLD BUT NOT A LOT.

THEY HAVE CREATED THESE REELS OR MEMES THAT HAVE MADE THIS SMALL MINOR SITUATION THAT COULD HAVE STAYED IN THE CLASSROOM HAS BEEN SENT OUT TO HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE AND EVERYBODY NOW HAS AN OPINION ABOUT IT.

THEY'RE LIKING IT, COMMENTING, SENDING IT TO THE INBOX.

THAT IS A NEW CHALLENGE OUR KIDS ARE EXPERIENCING, YOU KNOW, THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE TO EXPERIENCE AS KIDS.

>> WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS THOUGH WHO ARE EXPOSED TO THE TWINS OF POVERTY, FOOD DEPRIVATION, VIOLENCE.

THE TRIPLETS.

EACH ONE OF THESE THINGS COMPOUNDING UPON ONE ANOTHER?

ARE THEY ADDITIVE, MULTIPLIERS?

HOW DO YOU LOOK AT THAT AND HOW ARE THE KIDS HANDLING THIS.

HOW ARE KIDS SUPPOSED TO PROCESS THIS?

>> IT'S A DIFFICULT CHALLENGE FOR THEM.

YES, THEY ALL KIND OF INTERACT WITH ONE ANOTHER.

I THINK POVERTY WOULD BE LIKE AN UNDERLYING, YOU KNOW, UNDERLYING CAUSE BIGGER SYSTEMIC ISSUE THAT MAY RESULT IN SOME OF THESE THINGS LIKE THE GUN VIOLENCE AND DIFFERENT SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

AS FAR AS HOW THE KIDS ARE HANDLING, I WILL SAY-- I MEAN THE KIDS THAT WE WORK WITH THAT GROW UP IN THOSE ENVIRONMENTS, THEY'RE STRUGGLING, NO DOUBT.

BUT FOR MOST PART, IF YOU GIVE A KID A SPACE TO BE ABLE TO TALK AND PROCESS ABOUT THAT, THEY ARE AN OPEN BOOK.

ONCE YOU BUILD THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.

THERAPISTS ARE TRAINED AND GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO.

ONCE YOU BUILD THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH A KID, THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

IT'S NOT THEIR CHOICE, YOU KNOW.

THEY DON'T WANT TO GROW UP LIKE THAT OR GROW UP AND HAVE THESE DEFENSE MECHANISMS THAT CAUSE THEM INABILITY TO FUNCTION IN SCHOOL AND CREATE LASTING RELATIONSHIPS AND ALL THESE DIFFERENT THINGS.

BUT THAT'S THE NUMBER ONE THING.

THE KIDS THEY WANT A VOICE TO BE HEARD.

AND THEN ANOTHER ISSUE THAT THEY BATTLE IS HOPE.

THEY DON'T HAVE HOPE FOR THE FUTURE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE TALKING IN LOUISVILLE, A LOT OF THE YOUTH AND YOUNG TEENS, MIDDLE SCHOOLERS AND HIGH SCHOOLERS THAT KNOW FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE BEEN KILLED, FRIENDS HAVE BEEN KILLED, THEIR NEIGHBOR, THE KID SITTING NEXT TO THEM IN THE CLASSROOM.

YOU CAN'T REALLY ESCAPE IT RIGHT NOW SO THEY DON'T NECESSARILY PLAN FOR THEIR FUTURE BECAUSE THEY DON'T SEE A FUTURE PAST 17, 18 YEARS OLD BECAUSE EVERYBODY AROUND THEM, YOU KNOW, IS PASSING AWAY.

>> ARE WE SEEING SOME OF THE SAME THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE URBAN ENVIRONMENT HAPPENING IN THE MORE RURAL ENVIRONMENTS TO?

>> I THINK TO MY KNOWLEDGE IN THE RURAL ENVIRONMENTS, I THINK SOME OF THE INCREASE IN DEPRESSION, INCREASE IN SUICIDE RATES, INCREASE IN SUBSTANCE ABUSE, LIKE ALL OF THOSE, YES, HAVE BEEN VERY SIMILAR.

I CAN'T NECESSARILY SPEAK ON THE GUN VIOLENCE SOME SOME OF THE RURAL AREAS IN KENTUCKY AS MUCH AS I CAN TO OUR WEST END LOUISVILLE AND OUR AREA.

>> YOU TALKED ABOUT KIDS WANT SPACE.

MEAN WELLING ADID YOU TELL, ME, WAS NTSZ TO SIT DOWN TO A KID.

TELL ME WHAT AM I MISSING WHEN I'M SITTING THERE TALKING TO THE CHILD?

AND 2: HOW DOES THAT SPACE-- YOU HAVE TO TELL ME, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO CREATE THAT ENVIRONMENT?

HOW DOES IT GO?

>> SO KIDS ARE VERY SMART.

SO THEY READ PEOPLE, PROBABLY BETTER THAN WE DO.

THEY KNOW WHEN PEOPLE ARE GENUINE AND WHEN THEY'RE NOT.

SO YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP AND YOU HAVE TO BE YOUR REAL AUTHENTIC SELF.

FOR SOME OF THEM, YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE TIME TO BUILD THAT TRUST WITH THEM.

SO IF I, AS A PROFESSIONAL, BUT EVEN WHEN I'M, YOU KNOW, TAKING MY PROFESSIONAL HAT OFF AND I'M JUST IN THE COMMUNITY WORKING WITH PEOPLE, YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE THAT TIME TO GET TO KNOW THEM.

FIND OUT WHAT THEY LIKE TO DO, WHAT ARE THEIR INTERESTS.

ALSO BEING IN THEIR SETTING.

SO IF I BRING A KID TO MY OFFICE, AND I SIT BEHIND A DESK, AND I'VE GOT ON A BLAZER, RIGHT, THEY ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE MORE APPREHENSIVE TO TALK TO ME.

BUT IF I SHOW UP AT THEIR SCHOOL IN JEANS AND A MENTAL HEALTH T-SHIRT SITTING ON THE FLOOR WHILE THEY'RE ON THE DESK TO POSITION THEM MORE IN THE PLACE OF AUTHORITY, IT'S GOING TO BE A WAY DIFFERENT ENERGY AND ATMOSPHERE.

>> WHAT KIND OF TIME ARE WE TALKING ABOUT TO DEVELOP THAT WILLINGNESS?

>> I THINK FOR EACH KID, EACH KID IS UNIQUE AND HAS THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL NEEDS.

SOME KIDS MAY DEFINITELY WARM UP FASTER THAN OTHERS BASED ON THEIR PAST EXPERIENCES WITH ADULTS OR WITH A SPECIFIC ADULT.

IF EVERY FEMALE IN THEIR LIFE WAS NOT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, THEY MAY WARM UP TO YOU QUICKER THAN THEY WARM UP TO ME.

BUT I WOULD SAY THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THE CONSISTENCY.

SO IF YOU SAY YOU ARE COMING, YOU KNOW, IF YOU ARE A MENTOR, SAY GOING TO WORK WITH KIDS AND YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO BE THERE EVERY WEEK, THEY EXPECT YOU THERE EVERY WEEK.

IF YOU SAY ONCE A MONTH, THEY EXPECT YOU ONCE A MONTH AND ONCE YOU ARE DELIVERING THAT PROMISE, THAT HELPS TO BUILD THE TRUST AS WELL.

>> WHAT ABOUT THOUGH, I SAY I'M GOING TO BE THERE ONCE A WEEK AND THE KID DOESN'T SHOW UP.

>> YOU GOT TO KEEP SHOWING UP.

YOU GOT TO KEEP SHOWING UP AND REACH OUT.

AND I THINK THAT'S WHERE A LOT OF ORGANIZATIONS LIKE OURS, WE BELIEVE IN A WRAP AROUND APPROACH.

SO WHERE FOR LIKE A THERAPIST, IF MY CLIENT DOESN'T SHOW UP TO AN APPOINTMENT, I'M NOT JUST GOING TO SAY YOU HAVE HAD NO THREE NO SHOWS I'M GOING TO DISCHARGE YOU.

I'M GOING TO CONTACT THE TEACHER OR WHOEVER MADE THE REFERRAL.

IF I KNOW YOU ARE WORKING WITH THE PROBATION OFFICER OR GO TO THE BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB, I MIGHT CALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB AND SEE WHY YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN UP.

THERE ARE TECHNICAL THINGS LIKE RELEASES TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE BUT THAT'S THE BIG THING, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE YOUTH THAT WE WORK WITH.

BUILDING THEIR NATURAL SUPPORTS IN THEIR COMMUNITY AND HAVE YOU TO ALL WORK TOGETHER AND TALK TO EACH OTHER TO BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY AND THE STUDENT THAT YOU ARE WORKING WITH.

>> IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR ME AS AN ADULT TO REACH OUT TO A KID WHO I SEE PASSING ON A REGULAR BASIS AND SAY HEY, DO YOU WANT TO TALK?

>> I THINK IT DEPENDS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

LIKE IF IT'S A STUDENT THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH AT ALL.

>> SOMEBODY I SEE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT I KNOW THAT I SEE ON A REGULAR BASIS AT THE STORE, CLEARLY TO ME SOMETHING MAY NOT BE CLICKING.

>> WHY I, YES.

-- I THINK THAT'S A TOUGH TOPIC IN TODAY'S AGE.

>> I ASKED.

>> YES, YES.

BECAUSE I CAN SEE IN SOME SITUATIONS WHERE THAT MAY HAPPEN.

I THINK ABOUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE SAME PLACE EVERY WEEK TO GET YOUR HAIR CUT AND THERE IS A KID IN THERE AND YOU GUYS START A CONVERSATION, BUT MOST APPROPRIATE THING WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, TRY TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION.

WHO DO YOU STAY WITH?

DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD MIND IF I CALLED YOU OR MEET THE CARE TAKER OR PARENT, TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE KIDS YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

THERE ARE PEOPLE LOOKING FOR THOSE OTHER PEOPLE IN THEIR COMMUNITIES TO HELP SUPPORT THEM UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW, GUIDE AND TEACH AND ADVOCATE FOR THE KIDS.

>> TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF THE TECHNIQUES YOU USE TO HELP PEOPLE COPE.

WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?

>> WE USUALLY TAKE A VERY LIKE INDIVIDUALIZED APPROACH.

SO WHAT WORKS FOR ONE PERSON MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER.

I THINK THAT I TRY TO GET-- I'M BIG ON AFFIRMATIONS LIKE FOR PEOPLE A LOT OF THE YOUTH THAT I WORK WITH, THEY DON'T HAVE HIGH SELF-ESTEEM OR THEY DON'T SEE THEMSELVES IN CERTAIN WAYS.

SO LOOKING AT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS AND HOW TO BUILD THAT IN.

SIMPLE THINGS.

I AM CAPABLE.

I AM LOVEABLE.

THINGS LIKE THAT.

JOURNALING.

I REALLY LIKE JOURNALING.

SOME PEOPLE LOVE IT.

SOME PEOPLE HATE IT.

I WILL SAY FOR KIDS ONE THING THAT WORKS WELL WHEN I THINK JOURNALING, I THINK SITTING IN MY BED JOURNALING IN A NOTEBOOK WITH MY CUP OF COFFEE BUT KIDS WILL PULL UP THE NOTE SECTION IN THEIR PHONE OR NOTE 2357 R APP AND JUST TYPE AWAY.

THAT SEEMS TO WORK WELL.

ALSO LOOKING AT DIFFERENT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE.

SO SOMETIMES BEING ABLE TO LIKE COPE IS ABOUT LOOKING AT LIKE YOUR SPIRITUAL HEALTH OR LOOKING AT YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH.

YOUR FINANCIAL HEALTH, OVERALL WELL-BEING.

AND SEEING LIKE WHAT AREAS DO I INTO ED TO IMPROVE IN?

COPING FOR SOMEONE MAY LOOK LIKE GOING FOR A HIKE OUT AT ONE OF THE PARKS FOR AN HOUR, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN SOME PEOPLE IT MAY BE FISHING AT A POND TO HAVE CLEAR MIND, CLEAR SPACE AND BE ABLE TO FOCUS LIKE THAT.

>> THERE IS AN EVENT CALLED MIND FEST.

>> YES.

>> WHAT IS-- IT LOOKS FASCINATING.

YOU'VE GOT TO DESCRIBE IT TO ME.

>> YES, SO MIND FEST, THIS WILL BE OUR THIRD YEAR.

IT'S MYSELF, AND MY BUSINESS PARTNER RENESHA PART INAND WE HAVE A TEAM OF FOUR OR FIVE OTHER PEOPLE.

AND MIND FEST IS A FREE COMMUNITY MENTAL HEALTH FESTIVAL OPEN TO EVERYONE, OBVIOUSLY WE ARE HERE IN LOUISVILLE BUT ANYONE IN THE U.S. IS WELCOME TO COME.

I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE THINK OF FAMILY FUN FESTIVAL HELD AT RUTH'S 101 MUSEUM, THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN HISTORY MUSEUM.

WE BLOCK OFF THE STREET IN FRONT OF THE MUSEUM AND THANKS TO HUGH AN-- HUMANA, THEY LET US HAVE THE COURTYARD ACROSS STREET AS WELL.

WE HAVE OVER 80 HEALTH AND WELLNESS VENDORS FROM ALL OVER THE CITY THAT HELP PEOPLE TAP INTO NOT ONLY MENTAL HEALTH PLACES BUT ANYTHING HEALTH AND WITH ELNESS RELATED.

SO SPAS, THE THE NEW FLOATING SPA PLACES ARE POPULAR, YOGA, SUMMER CAMPS FOR KIDS, NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS, WE ALSO HAVE FOOD TRUCKS.

WE HAVE A DRUM LINE COME THROUGH.

WE HAVE YOGA AND ZU MBA WHAT IS DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER FESTIVAL IS THAT ON THE INSIDE THROUGHOUT THE DAY, THERE ARE DIFFERENT MENTAL HEALTH WORKSHOPS GOING ON LED BY PROFESSIONALS IN THE COMMUNITY.

AND WE REALLY TRY TO BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT CREATING THOSE WORKSHOPS FOR DIFFERENT POPULATIONS.

SO WE HAVE TYPICALLY LIKE A MINDFUL PARENTING CLASS FOR PARENTS.

ANYTHING TO ERASE-BASED TRAUMA.

GRIEF, LOSS.

ART THERAPY SESSIONS.

THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT ONES GOING ON THIS YEAR THAT HAVE DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES WHERE YOU CAN PAINT A CANVAS AND IT'S LED BY AN ART THERAPIST.

SO IT'S A FAMILY FRIENDLY EVENT.

THERE IS SOMETHING FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES TO BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY FROM IT.

SO THAT'S COMING UP THE LAST SUNDAY IN MARCH-- I MEAN IN MAY.

AT ROOTS 101.

>> OKAY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THAT MUCH STUFF GOING ON.

>> IT'S AMAZING.

I THINK WE HAD OVER 700 PEOPLE LAST YEAR.

>> WE USED TO ALWAYS THINK IN TERMS OF TEENAGERS WOULD REBEL.

IN THE 50s THERE WAS REBELLION AGAINST OUR PARENTS GENERATION.

REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.

ARE WE SEEING SOME OF THE ACTIVITY, IS THIS REBELLING OR IS THIS JUST A REACTION TO THE SOCIAL STRESSES THAT WE ARE SEEING RIGHT NOW?

>> I THINK IT'S MORE OF A REACTION.

I THINK-- I FEEL LIKE THE YOUTH/YOUNG ADULTS TODAY, THEY'RE TRULY LOST.

AND THEY'RE LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE.

I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH AN 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL, COLLEGE STUDENT.

AND EVEN SHE, ONE OF THE COMMENTS SHE MADE, I ASKED HER ABOUT HER STRUGGLES WITH BALANCING BEING A FISHES YEAR COLLEGE STUDENT AND LIFE AND WORK AND THINGS.

SHE SAID I FEEL LIKE THERE ARE ALL THESE ADULTS RUNNING AROUND AND NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME OR HEARING ME OR THEY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ME.

THAT'S A CHON THING YOU HEAR FROM KIDS-- THAT'S A COMMON THING YOU HEAR FROM KIDS THERE IS NOBODY TO HEAR THEM.

NOBODY IS LISTENING OR PAYING ATTENTION.

>> FROM A MEDICAL PERSPECTIVE, WE KNOW THAT MANY ILLNESSES THAT WE SEE IN THE 50s AND 60s YEARS OF AGE, CAN BE REALLY HAVE THEIR START IN THE 20s AND 30S.

AND THERE ARE THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN DO.

HOW DO I CONVINCE SOMEONE WHO IS A YOUNG PERSON TO SAY OKAY, CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR HERE SO THAT 60-YEAR-OLD YOU WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, IN PARTICULAR SOMETHING LIKE CANCER.

HOW DO YOU INSTILL HOPE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ALIVE AT THAT POINT AND YOU NEED TO MAKE THESE CHANGES NOW?

>> IT REALLY GOES BACK TO LIKE BUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT YOUTH.

LIKE ONCE YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A YOUTH, THEN YOU ARE ABLE TO OPEN UP AND HAVE LIKE MORE VULNERABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM.

SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS HOW IS THIS WORKING FOR YOU BECAUSE I HEAR THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH X, Y, Z AND YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU ARE STRESSED, TIRED, OVERWHELMED.

MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

WHAT WOULD YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE CERTAIN THINGS IN YOUR LIFE TO PUT YOU ON A BETTER THRA JECTRY TO-- TRAJECTORY TO ACCOMPLISH THE GOALS YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH.

THAT'S A BIG THING, TOO.

SOMETIMES AS DULTS AND I'M GUILTY OF THAT.

I HAVE THREE KIDS OF MY OWN.

WE WANT TO TELL THEM HOW TO FIX IT AND WHERE TO GO BUT EMPOWERING THEM TO FIGURE THINGS OUT ON THEIR OWN GIVES THEM MORE BUY IN AND LIKELIHOOD TO CHANGE SOME OF THEIR BEHAVIORS AND THEIR CHOICES TO HAVE A MORE BETTER IMPACT ON THEIR LIVES.

>> IF YOU CAN GIVE ME A QUICK ANSWER HERE.

WHICH IS BETTER OR WHICH IS WORSE OR IS IT SITUATIONAL?

THE PARACHUTE PARENT, THE HELICOPTER PARENT HANGING AROUND THEM OR THE PARENT WHO SAYS GO AHEAD AND FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN.

I'M HERE IF YOU NEED ME.

>> YES, I THINK THE LAST APPROACH IS GIVING THEM THE TOOLS THAT THEY NEED TO GO OUT AND KIND OF EXPLORE AND FIGURE THINGS OUT ON THEIR OWN.

AND ALLOW THEM TO MAKE THE MISTAKES AND BRING IT BACK TO YOU TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION.

>> ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I GOT TO TELL YOU, THIS IS INTERESTING.

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE YOU COME BACK BECAUSE THERE ARE STILL SOME THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BUT I APPRECIATE YOUR BEING HERE WITH YOU.

AS BAB MARLEY SAID, HE WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT.

I HOPE THAT YOU ARE MORE EMPATHY FOR THE CONDITIONS THAT LED TO SOME BEHAVIORS THAT WE CONSIDER INAPPROPRIATE AND YOU HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF HOW COUNSELING CAN HELP US MANAGE AND GUIDE OUR RESPONSE TO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS THAT MAY SEEM BEYOND OUR CONTROL.

TALK TO Ms. 3450UR, SHE WILL GIVE YOU THE ANSWER.

IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THIS SHOW AGAIN GO TO ket.org/HEALTH.

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION OR COMMENT ABOUT THIS OR OTHER SHOWS, WE CAN BE REACHED AT KYHEALTH@ket.org.

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS ABOUT COPING OR WHAT IS GOING ON, SIT DOWN AND TALK.

ONE THING WE HEARD IS JUST TALKING AND LISTENING.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON "KENTUCKY HEALTH."

>> KENTUCKY HEALTH IS FUNDED IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE FOUNDATION FOR A HEALTHY KENTUCKY.