WHAT I HEAR IN THE HALLWAY, THAT WHEN I AM GONNA GO OUT, THEY'RE GONNA GIVE ME A BULLET IN THE HEAD.

I AM GONNA FALL OVER AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO KILLED ME.

>> SHE'D POINT, SHE'D SAY, THERE ARE STARS OF DAVID ON THE WALL THERE, AND I CAN'T GET THEM DOWN.

AND SHE'D SAY, THESE ARE NOT REALLY NURSES.

THEY'RE SPITTING ON ME AND THEY WANT TO BEAT ME.

>> THEY LAY A HAND ON ME THEY'RE GONNA GO TO JAIL SO FAST LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

I AM NOT A PRISONER.

THIS IS AMERICA.

>> (HOWARD) I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL AT MIDNIGHT.

THE POLICE FOUND MY MOTHER RUNNING ON THE STREETS OF SKOKIE, AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO BACK HOME BECAUSE SHE SAID IT ISN'T SAFE THERE.

AND SHE SAID, "THEY'RE NOT "TAKING ME TO A NURSING HOME, "THEY'RE TAKING ME TO A FARM IN WISCONSIN".

OF THE FEW THINGS SHE HAD TOLD ME ABOUT HER PAST, THAT SHE HAD WORKED ON FARMS WHEN SHE WAS HIDING DURING WORLD WAR TWO, "FARM", THAT'S WHAT DID IT.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WOMAN WHO WAS SO SILENT ABOUT HER PAST, IS TELLING ME WHAT HER PAST IS, BECAUSE HER PAST IS BACK.

>> (SONIA) I'M A MARRIED WOMAN.

I AM NOT A PRISONER.

>> (HOWARD) IN EFFECT, I JUST UNCONSCIOUSLY KINDA SLIPPED INTO THE ROLE OF JOURNALIST.

I BROUGHT A MEMO PAD.

>> I THINK I ONLY HAVE TWO, MOM.

>> YOU BRING EVERY TIME LESS AND LESS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SPILL THE BEANS.

COME ON SPILL THE BEANS.

>> TO MY MOTHER IT WAS MY FAULT THAT SHE WAS IN THIS SITUATION.

AND SHE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION AND THE DOCTORS DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

>> AND I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT CRAZY.

I WAS BORN IN EUROPE, THE STATE BROUGHT ME OVER.

I WENT TO WORK AND I WENT TO NIGHT SCHOOL.

I TRIED TO DO MY DARNDEST BEST I COULD, AND OF COURSE WE MARRIED AND THAT ONE WAS BORN.

>> (HOWARD) I'VE SPENT YEARS, DECADES REALLY, FINDING THE STORIES IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES.

NOW MY OWN MOTHER WAS HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND I HAD TO FIND HER STORY.

>> AND THE STORY YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR MOTHER GOING OUT TO TRY TO BRING FOOD TO THE PEOPLE IN THE CAMP NEARBY... AND ONE OF THE GUARDS TOLD HER--THE YOUNG GIRL AROUND 10 YEARS OF AGE-- "I'LL PUT A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD."

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

DOING SOMETHING GENEROUS AND CARING AND LOVING DESPITE THE HORRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES SHE WAS LIVING IN, FOR SOMEBODY WHOSE CIRCUMSTANCES WERE WORSE.

AND TO BE BROUGHT UP SHORT, THAT'S A TRAUMA.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING, BUT WHEN YOU COME TO A PALACE... FULL OF BUGS...OR NEEDLES THAT ARE THROWN AT ME...

I KEPT SAYING DO NOT THROW NO NEEDLES AT ME WHILE I AM IN MY ROOM.

OR I WILL SAY DO NOT THROW ANY CRAWLING BUGS AT ME WHILE I AM IN MY ROOM.

>> (HOWARD) MY MOTHER NEVER TRUSTED ANYONE.

SHE TRUSTED MY FATHER; ALSO A SURVIVOR.

HER PILLAR IN LIFE, HER SOCIAL CONNECTION, HER SAVIOR IN A WAY FROM HER PAST.

MY MOTHER ONLY HALF-TRUSTS ME.

>> THERE ARE TEN IN HERE.

I COUNTED THEM OUT.

>> I TRUST YOU.

>> YEAH.

HERE'S ALL TEN.

EVEN WHEN I WAS A YOUNGER KID I WAS SLEEPING, I WOULD WAKE UP TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, SHE'D BE SITTING ON THE FLOOR... OF THE LIVING ROOM LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW.

ALL NIGHT LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW.

>> SHE WAS ON GUARD DUTY.

SHE WAS GUARDING YOU.

AND YOU EVEN SAID YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WAS UNUSUAL OR ABNORMAL.

>> MY MOM ALWAYS SLEPT WITH ONE OF THOSE MEAT AXES UNDER HER PILLOW.

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IT WAS ANOTHER THING OF HER NOT WANTING TO BE-- PROTECTING, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS CHECKING THE LOCKS OF THE FRONT DOORS, RIGHT AFTER HE LEFT FOR WORK, A HUNDRED TIMES.

STARING OUT THE WINDOW A HUNDRED TIMES.

SO YOU DO LOOK BACK AND YOU SEE WOW, SOME OF THIS WAS WEIRD.

>> DID YOU GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP LAST NIGHT?

>> I CALL IT A SLEEP WITH ONE EYE.

>> I DON'T SLEEP IN THAT BED.

>> WHY NOT?

>> BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT.

>> DID YOU TRY IT?

>> I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TRY IT.

>> ISN'T IT UNCOMFORTABLE TO SLEEP IN THE CHAIR.

>> WHO KNOWS?

>> ONE OF THE GREAT TRAGEDIES IS THAT A PERSON LIKE THIS MAY GET LOCKED UP.

>> IT MAY BE IN A VERY BENIGN PLACE LIKE A NURSING HOME, BUT IT'S STILL BEING LOCKED UP.

AND THE SAME THING IS STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN.

THE HOLOCAUST HAS BEGUN AGAIN.

>> AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED A YEAR LATER, THIS IS WHAT MY MOTHER HAS.

MY MOTHER IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS.

IT'S NOT THIS VAGUE AMORPHOUS DELUSIONAL DISORDER.

MY MOTHER IS RELIVING HER PAST AND THERE'S THIS INCREDIBLE PHRASE-- WHEN HE SAID, "YOUR MOTHER "HAS LATE ONSET PTSD WITH BELLS AND WHISTLES".

IT'S LIKE THIS IS THE CASE, THIS IS IT.

>> (HOWARD) LATE ONSET POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.

GETTING THAT DIAGNOSIS WAS THE FIRST STEP OF FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOTHER.

THEN A LETTER CAME.

"SONIA, WHAT'S HAPPENING "WITH YOU?

ARE YOU OKAY?"

IT'S FROM MY AUNT, IRENE, WHOM I HADN'T SEEN SINCE MY BAR MITZVAH...

SO I CALL IRENE AND SHE STARTS TELLING ME ABOUT GROWING UP WITH MY MOTHER AND DUBNO, THIS LITTLE TOWN IN WHAT WAS THEN POLAND AND HOW THE WAR STARTED AND THE NAZIS CAME...

IT'S ALL THAT I CAN DO TO BRING THIS OUT OF HER, SHE IS SO RELUCTANT TO TELL ME... AND THEN WE WERE IN THE GHETTO, AND THEN I ESCAPED AND YOUR MOTHER ESCAPED AND FOR A YEAR AND A HALF OR TWO YEARS SHE'S RUNNING AND HIDING AND THEN... A RELATIVE FOUND HER AND SHE HAD LICE ON HER HEAD AND SHE WAS FILTHY, AND THEN I TOOK HER.

>> (HOWARD) THIS IS LIKE OVERWHELMING TO ME.

I HAVE NOT HEARD ONE SENTENCE OF THIS STORY IN MY LIFE.

>> THIS IS MY FATHER, MY SISTER WHO DIED, LONEK, PARENT, HIS MOTHER AND HIS FATHER, MY BROTHER, AND ME.

>> (HOWARD) AND OF THOSE PEOPLE, WHO SURVIVED?

>> MY SISTER AND MYSELF.

>> (HOWARD) IRENE TELLS ME SHE HAS A PICTURE OF MY MOTHER FROM BEFORE THE WAR.

I'D NEVER SEEN MY MOTHER AS A CHILD.

>> SHE WAS LIKE A DOLL.

A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SMALL CHILD.

DRESSED NICELY, AND POLITE.

MY FATHER, SHE WAS HIS EYE.

HE LOVED THIS CHILD.

>> (HOWARD) IRENE'S FATHER WAS MY MOTHER'S GRANDFATHER, AND MY MOTHER GREW UP IN HIS HOUSE IN DUBNO.

>> AND THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED.

THE RUSSIANS CAME.

THE GERMANS CAME.

>> AND NOW SHE'S THIS HUNTED CHILD, TURNS UP, LICE, BAD CLOTHES, NO SHOES.

NOW MY MOTHER GOT FROSTBITE ON HER HANDS AND ON HER FEET, AND I IMAGINE MIGHT BE FROM THAT TIME.

>> FROM THIS HIDING.

FROM THIS HIDING.

THESE ARE THINGS, WHICH ARE NOT DESCRIBABLE...

THE CHAIN OF EVENTS ARE NOT DESCRIBABLE.

>> (HOWARD) IRENE IS THE OLDEST MEMBER OF THE FAMILY TO HAVE SURVIVED.

AND SHE COULD TELL US, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FAMILY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHILDREN'S FACES... WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

AND SHE WON'T.

>> (HOWARD) I MOVED ON TO NEW YORK CITY TO TRY TO FIND SHIRLEY FADIM, A COUSIN WHO HAD MET MY MOTHER AT THE BOAT WHEN SHE CAME TO AMERICA.

MAYBE MY MOTHER TOLD HER HOW SHE SURVIVED.

>> ARE YOU A SENIOR?

>> WELL, NO I'M NOT, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR MY COUSIN, SHE LIVES ACROSS THE STREET BUT SHE'S NOT THERE NOW.

SHE HAD AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME.

THEY SAID SHE MIGHT COME TO THE SENIOR CENTER.

>> OH, ALRIGHT, YEA YOU CAN GO ON.

>> DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE NAMED SHIRLEY?

>> DOES SHE PLAY THE PIANO?

>> SHE DOES PLAY THE PIANO.

>> I THINK SHE LEFT.

>> WHERE DID SHE GO?

>> WHO?

>> SHIRLEY WHO PLAYS THE PIANO.

>> MY TEACHER?

>> OH SHE JUST LEFT OUT OF HERE.

PHYSICALLY JUST WALKED OUT.

>> REALLY?

>> YEAH.

>> YOU'RE HER STUDENT?

>> YEAH.

>> SHE PLAYED MY SONG TODAY.

THEME FROM THE GODFATHER.

>> OH RIGHT.

>> SHE PLAYS FOR ME FIRST AND I FOLLOW AND PLAY AFTERWARD.

>> IT'S USUALLY IN E-MINOR YOU KNOW, THAT'S UNUSUAL.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

>> JACKSON.

>> JACKSON?

>> THANK YOU JACKSON, REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> HI, I REMEMBER YOU.

>> HI.

COME IN.

>> HOW ARE YOU?

NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> YOU SEE I'M NOT A.... LIKE THE REST OF THEM.

>> YEAH, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

>> I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

LAST TIME I SAW YOU I HELD YOU.

>> REALLY?

YEAH.

>> I HELD YOU IN MY ARMS.

>> I WAS MUCH SMALLER THEN.

>> SO WAS MUSIC ALWAYS AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE?

MUSIC.

>> NO IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, IT IS.

MUSIC IS MY LIFE.

DID SHE COME IN OCTOBER?

>> 1947.

>> OKAY THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, BECAUSE I HAD A COUPLE OF CHECKS THAT MY BROTHER AND SISTER SENT ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

SO I USED THOSE TO GO, YOU KNOW, TO OUTFIT HER.

SO WE WENT TO 14TH STREET, TO KLEIN'S, AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MOTHER SAID.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN] >> IN GERMAN!

>> EVERYTHING WE TRIED TO GET HER TO PUT ON, YOU KNOW SHE AND... SHE WAS A PILL.

I'M TELLING YOU SHE WAS AWFUL.

A VERY STUBBORN LITTLE GIRL.

AND THAT'S WHY SHE SURVIVED.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.

SHE HAD HER LITTLE BODY AND EVERYTHING ELSE SO SHE DID SURVIVE.

BUT SOMETHING IN THE SOUL DID NOT SURVIVE.

>> (HOWARD) ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL ASPECTS OF MY MOTHER TODAY, ARE THESE SEXUAL REFERENCES.

SHE SAYS THEY'RE TRYING TO TURN THIS PLACE INTO A WHOREHOUSE.

I AM NOT A WHORE.

SHE SAYS IT OVER AND OVER.

>> WHEN ADOLESCENCE IS NOT PERMITTED TO OCCUR... AND THERE ARE ARMED PEOPLE AROUND YOU WHO CAN TELL YOU "TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF.

DO WHAT I WANT."

>> THEY CALL ME HERE A PROSTITUTE.

AFTER ALL, COME ON.

I AM MARRIED ONLY TO ONE MAN.

>> I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE.

AND I HAVE VERY GOOD KIDS, AND THAT'S WHAT I THANK GOD FOR.

>> WE KNOW SHE'D BEEN THROUGH SOME TERRIBLE EXPERIENCES.

>> SHE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.

NO.

>> DID YOU ASK HER AT ALL?

>> NO.

YOU COULDN'T.

YOU CAN'T ASK SOMEBODY THAT.

TELL ME, HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH HELL?

I'M MEAN WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

I TRIED TO BE AS SOFT AND AS KIND AND AS UNDERSTANDING AS I COULD.

BUT IT WAS NOT EASY.

SHE WAS A VERY, VERY UNAPPROACHABLE CHILD.

AND SHE HAD EVERY REASON TO BE SO.

>> (HOWARD) I AM HEADING BACK TO NEW JERSEY BECAUSE IRENE'S HUSBAND ZYGO, ALSO A SURVIVOR, FROM DUBNO SAID HE KNEW SOMETHING.

>> THERE WAS A RUSSIAN MAN, A FORESTER... >> YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE YOU WILL TALK FOR ME.

>> NO.

BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL ALL THE TIME INTERRUPT ME AND SAY... >> WAS IT ON A FARM WHERE MY MOTHER FOUND YOUR SISTER?

>> I CAN IMAGINE IT WAS ON A FARM.

YES.

WAS A FARM?

OH, NO, THIS GUY WHO TOOK CARE OF THESE JEWISH GIRLS AT FIVE OR SOMETHING.

>> STOP WITH THE GUY.

IT'S ONLY THE VERSION OF IT.

>> YOU DON'T WANT THE STORY TO BE IN THE OPEN.

>> WHY, EVERYBODY WANTS THE STORY TO BE OPEN.

>> YOU KNOW IN EACH FAMILY IT'S SOMETHING IN THE BASEMENT.

>> THAT'S A GOOD WAY OF PUTTING IT.

>> (HOWARD) IRENE LIKE MANY SURVIVORS DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE MOST HORRIBLE PART OF HER LIFE.

I JUST DON'T BLAME THEM, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO PUT AWAY A BAD DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK AT YOU ANYWAY.

AND REALLY IRENE WAS INDULGING ME.

SHE WOULD JUST KEEP SAYING, "ASK LEON, ASK LEON."

I NEVER HEARD OF LEON.

WHOSE LEON?

HE IS THE LITTLE BOY IN THE PICTURE, MY MOTHER'S COUSIN.

LIKE HER, HE WAS RUNNING AND HIDING AFTER HIS PARENTS WERE KILLED.

I SENT HIM AN EMAIL, AND TURNS OUT FOR YEARS, HE'S BEEN ASKING IRENE THE SAME QUESTIONS.

HE SAYS YES I'M GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU.

COME TO WARSAW.

>> OH, YEAH, IT SHOWS.

GREAT TO SEE YOU.

GREAT TO SEE YOU.

>> I AM VERY GLAD.

>> YOU LOOK GREAT.

I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE.

PETER, GREAT TO SEE YOU.

>> SONIA HAS SOME IMAGINES THAT YOU ARE HERE.

>> SHE GOES, "DON'T TELL ME "ABOUT POLAND, DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THE PAST."

>> YOUR MOTHER'S MOTHER.

IT WAS DONE, IN DUBNO IN 1912.

YOU THINK THAT SHE'S SIMILAR TO ZOSIA?

>> I THINK SO, SAME FACE.

>> YEA, SAME FACE.

>> THIS PHOTO'S FROM OZIRKO.

>> (HOWARD) LEON BEGAN TO SKETCH OUT FOR ME HOW HE AND HIS SISTER, FANKA, HAD BEEN SAVED BY A CZECH FARM FAMILY.

>> VLADIMIR LOUKOTKA.

THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN FOR US.

>> (HOWARD) LEON WANTED TO FIND THE LOUKOTKA FARM IN OZIRKO, AND I WANTED TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY MOTHER.

WE WERE GOING TO DUBNO TOGETHER.

>> TO LIFE.

>> L'CHAIM.

>> L'CHAIM.

L'CHAIM.

L'CHAIM.

TO LIFE.

>> IT WAS SHORT, GOOD PERIOD IN DUBNO, AND EVEN SHORTER BUT MUCH MORE TRAGIC.

>> YEAH.

>> SECOND PERIOD.

>> (HOWARD) LEON WAS ON A MISSION.

HE WAS TAKING ME ALONG BUT HE WAS REALLY TELLING HIS STORY TO HIS SON PETER.

THIS MIGHT BE AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOTHER.

OUR FIRST STOP WAS THE FAMILY HOME, WHERE LEON AND MY MOTHER LIVED AND PLAYED TOGETHER AS CHILDREN.

>> THAT'S AN OLD DOG.

I DON'T THINK HE CAN HURT ANYBODY.

>> (HOWARD) I FOUND THE LOUKOTKA'S HOUSE THE YEAR BEFORE WHEN I WAS DOING THE ARTICLE FOR THE PAPER.

>> LOOKS NICE.

>> NO NO.

IT'S NOT SCARY.

>> LET'S UH, WHEN DID... >> YEAH YEAH, LET'S GO IN.

>> BEAUTIFUL.

BEAUTIFUL.

>> THIS IS WHERE MY MOTHER SPENT HER WHOLE CHILDHOOD, IN THIS HOUSE, UNTIL THE GHETTO.

THE LAST GOOD YEARS OF HER CHILDHOOD WERE IN THIS HOUSE.

>> WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

YEA.

>> AND IRENE SAID THAT THIS IS THE ONE THAT SCHLOMO SYS WENT TO.

>> (HOWARD) AS WE APPROACHED THE OLD SYNAGOGUE, LEON THOUGHT HE REMEMBERED WHERE HIS FAMILY LIVED IN THE GHETTO BEFORE THEY FLED FOR THEIR LIVES.

>> SO YOU THINK MY MOTHER WAS STILL HERE IN THE GHETTO AFTER YOU LEFT?

>> IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SHE WAS ALREADY OUT.

THEY WERE ON THE SITE... >> WHERE PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK.

>> ...DO NOT WORK.

SO THEY HAD TO LEAVE EARLIER.

>> RIGHT, AND ESCAPE EARLY.

>> (HOWARD) AND THIS IS WHERE THAT STORY OF MY MOTHER'S FLIGHT BEGINS.

MY MOTHER WAS SENT OUT OF THE GHETTO BY HER MOTHER, HOPING THAT THIS TEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL MIGHT SURVIVE.

IT WAS THROUGH A WINDOW LIKE ONE OF THESE.

SHE STEPPED OUT, AND WOULD SPEND THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS RUNNING AND HIDING.

AND SHE NEVER SAW HER MOTHER AGAIN.

>> YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO UNDERSTAND A CHILD'S PERCEPTION OF THAT.

HER MOTHER TOLD HER SHE HAD TO GO OUT THERE, WHERE PEOPLE HAD MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED...YOU COULD EASILY MAKE A HORROR STORY OF THIS.

>> HERE HOWARD, YOU CAN TAKE THIS.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

THE WINDOW TO THE WORLD.

SEE?

YOU CAN SEE.

>> I NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANY OF THIS STUFF.

SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HER PARENTS, NOTHING.

>> WERE YOU RAISED JEWISH AT ALL?

I HAD SOME SUSPICIONS, YOU KNOW, I SAW SOME DOCUMENTS... >> WELL SEE, MY PARENTS SENT ME TO HEBREW SCHOOL, AND I NEVER REALLY LIKED IT.

AND I THINK PART OF THE REASON WAS BECAUSE OF THIS EXPERIENCE OF HOLOCAUST.

I THINK I HAD DIFFICULTY WITH RELIGION, BECAUSE... >> RIGHT.

IF THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENED...

GROWING UP WITH A FAMILY THAT'S 100 PERCENT HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS IS AN INTENSE EXPERIENCE.

THEY ARE UNDERSTANDABLY MAD ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.

THEY'RE RAILING ABOUT NASSER, THE PRESIDENT OF EGYPT.

THEY'RE RAILING ABOUT U THANT, THE HEAD OF THE UN.

EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY TO KILL JEWS.

MY REACTION WAS TO TUNE IT OUT.

JUST TURN DOWN THE DIAL, GO AWAY FROM IT.

I WAS ABLE TO DO THAT WITHOUT REALIZING I WAS DOING IT, AT AGE SIXTEEN, WHEN I FINALLY DISCOVERED MUSIC.

AND ALL I DO IN THE LIVING ROOM OF OUR HOUSE FROM AGE SIXTEEN ON, IS PRACTICE THAT PIANO HOURS A DAY.

AND I NOW REALIZE LOOKING BACK ON IT I AM LITERALLY DROWNING OUT THE SOUND MY FAMILY.

BECAUSE WHEN I AM HITTING THAT PIANO, YOU CANNOT HEAR THEM.

[PIANO MUSIC] [PIANO MUSIC] >> THEY WANTED HIM TO GO INTO SOMETHING... YOU KNOW, MAYBE, LIKE BUSINESS OR YOU KNOW SOME SOLID FOUNDATION WHERE AGAIN, HE COULD BE SUCCESSFUL.

AND FOR THEM, THE ARTS IS NOT SUCCESSFUL.

YOU'RE GONNA STRUGGLE YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

YOU KNOW.

BUT HE PROVED THEM WRONG.

SO THAT WAS PRETTY COOL.

>> (HOWARD) ALMOST ANYWHERE YOU STEP IN DUBNO, YOU ARE STANDING ON A PLACE WHERE JEWS WERE KILLED.

PEOPLE TRIED AND MOSTLY FAILED TO ESCAPE.

12,000 JEWS WERE KILLED.

SOMEHOW, MY MOTHER MANAGED TO SURVIVE.

THE WAR CRIME REPORT SAYS DURING THE OCCUPATION OF THE TOWN OF DUBNO, BY GERMAN INVADERS THE LATTER WHERE CONDUCTING MASS KILLINGS.

IN THESE PITS LIE MAINLY WOMEN AND CHILDREN WITH THEIR HEADS WRAPPED WITH RAGS.

WE'VE COUNTED UP TO 5,000 PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN SHOT OR KILLED OR SMOTHERED TO DEATH.

>> IT TAKES TIME.

IT TAKES TIME.

>> IT WAS NOT AUSCHWITZ WITH THE PRODUCTION OF KILLING.

>> RIGHT, AND HERE IT WAS WITH MACHINE GUNS.

SO THIS IS-THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENED.

WELL, ONE OF THE BIG EXECUTIONS.

>> (HOWARD) A UKRAINIAN WOMAN IS TAKING US TO WHERE SHE WITNESSED ONE OF THESE MASSACRES AS A LITTLE GIRL.

>> (PETER: TRANSLATING FOR OLGA) (PETER TRANSLATING) THEY JUST CRIED.

THE CRY WAS TERRIBLE.

CRY WAS TERRIBLE.

AND THEN IT WAS SILENCE.

>> WERE YOU AFRAID THAT THE GERMANS MIGHT SEE YOU?

>> COME UNDER THE UMBRELLA SO YOU DON'T GET ALL WET.

>> (HOWARD) THE NEXT DAY WE ACCEPTED THE INVITATION TO HAVE LUNCH AT THE OLD FAMILY HOUSE.

>> WITH MY MOTHER.

>> HELLO.

>> (HOWARD) WHAT I'M REALIZING IS THAT LEON IS NOT AFRAID TO LOOK AT HIS PAST.

MY MOTHER CAN'T GO THERE.

SHE CAN'T GET NEAR IT.

SHE IS FIGHTING THAT PAST AND HE IS ACCEPTING IT.

AND IN FACT HE DRAWS SOME WARMTH AND GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THAT PAST.

>> I HAVE NEVER VISITED THIS.

>> TOMORROW WE GO.

TOMORROW WE GO TO THE CASTLE.

>> (HOWARD) THE OLD CASTLE HAD AN EXHIBIT ON THE JEWS OF DUBNO.

AND WE WANTED TO SEE IF THE TOWN WAS CONFRONTING ITS PAST.

>> THIS IS A YIZKOR BOOK IN WHICH YOU PUT DOWN THE NAMES OF THOSE WHO DIED FROM DUBNA DURING HOLOCAUST.

AND THAT'S WHAT LEON IS DOING RIGHT NOW.

>> RIGHT.

RIGHT, THERE'S SOME PEOPLE MISSING.

>> YEAH.

>> YEA, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

>> EVERY WITNESS WE'VE TALKED TO SAYS THAT BOTH SIDES OF THE STREET WERE LINED WITH THRONGS OF LOCALS.

DO YOU THINK BECAUSE OF THE EXHIBITION AND THIS MARKER THAT SOMETHING IS BEGINNING TO HAPPEN WITH ACKNOWLEDGING JEWISH LIFE IN DUBNO 60 YEARS LATER?

>> I DON'T THINK SO!

>> THIS IS A NEW MONUMENT.

IT WAS NOT HERE LAST YEAR WHEN WE CAME.

IT SAYS, "WE REMEMBER "AND WE RESPECT.

FROM THE CITIZENS OF DUBNO."

>> A FEW DAYS LATER LEON WAS READY TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FAMILY AFTER THEY ESCAPED THE GHETTO.

>> STRANGE YOU'LL SEE ALL THE WAR.

..BUT MY CLOSEST FAMILY, OTHER UKRAINIANS HELPED US TO ESCAPE FROM THE GHETTO.

CZECHS HELPED US.

POLES HELPED US.

YOU HAVE TO LOOK ON THE MAN AND LOOK AT THE EYES AND YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE SOMEBODY WHO IS HONEST OR SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT.

>> (HOWARD) FINALLY, WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO TRY TO FIND OZIRKO, THE VILLAGE WHERE LEON AND HIS SISTER WHERE SAVED BY THE CZECH FARM FAMILY.

>> DO THEY KNOW WHERE IT IS?

>> GENERALLY IN THIS DIRECTION THERE IS SOME SIGN... >> SO THIS IS THE KIND OF VILLAGE THAT MY MOTHER WAS HIDING IN TOO.

>> MAYBE.

>> DOBRIDEN.

VILLAGER SPEAKING.

>> VLADIMIR LOUKOTKA, THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN FOR US.

FOR ME AND FANKA, YOU SEE BECAUSE IT WAS FOR HIS LIFE.

>> YEAH.

>> IF GERMANS OR UKRAINIANS FOUND US, HE WILL BE...

SO THAT'S WHY I'M VERY OBLIGED TO HIM.

>> (HOWARD) LEON SHOWED US A COPY OF A REPORT CARD HE AND HIS SISTER, FANKA, BROUGHT HOME TO THE LOUKOTKAS.

HE'D BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE CZECH FAMILY OVER THE YEARS... AND HE WAS ANXIOUS TO LET THE LOUKOTKA'S WIDOW KNOW THAT HE FINALLY RETURNED AND FOUND THEIR FARM.

>> HALLO?

HALLO?

>> (HOWARD) LEON ACTUALLY HAD A CHILDHOOD.

MY MOTHER HAD YEARS OF FLIGHT AND TERROR, THAT WAS HER CHILDHOOD.

SHE'D NEVER HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN HOW TO TRUST AND LEON DID.

>> HE WAS REALLY PROUD OF ME.

AND EVEN MORE, HE WANTED TO BE MY FATHER.

>> (HOWARD) BEFORE I LEFT FOR HOME, LEON WANTED ME TO VISIT HIS SISTER FANKA'S GRAVE.

LIKE MY MOTHER FANKA WAS TERRIBLY SCARRED BY THE WAR.

>> (HOWARD) A YEAR AFTER THE WAR IRENE LEARNED THAT LEON AND FANKA WERE STILL ALIVE.

IT TOOK HER MONTHS TO FIND THEM AND EVEN LONGER TO ADOPT THE CHILDREN AND BRING THEM TO WARSAW, WHERE SHE RAISED THEM.

>> THE MOMENT WHEN I DID BRING HER AND SHE WAS CRYING AT NIGHT AND YELLING.

THE NEIGHBORS ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED.

AND I TOLD, "THIS HOW SHE IS."

>> LONEK CAME OUT OKAY.

AND SHE CAME OUT SICK.

SHE CAME OUT SICK.

>> IT WAS A VERY, VERY HARD EXPERIENCE ON ALL OF US, BUT FOR GIRLS IT WAS MUCH, MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.

BUT WHEN ANYWAY SHE SUFFERED OF THIS.

SO SHE WAS OFTEN IN THE HOSPITALS.

>> (HOWARD) AS WE WERE LEAVING, LEON SAID THERE WAS ONE MORE THING WE HAD TO DO.

HE WANTED TO SEE MY MOTHER.

HE THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP HER TO SEE HIM.

>> (ADDRESSES HIM IN POLISH).

>> (HOWARD) WE HAVE TO STOP TO SEE IRENE.

SHE HAD DONE SO MUCH FOR LEON AND HIS SISTER FRANKA.

>> BUT I WANT TO TURN THE VOLUME UP.

>> (HOWARD) I BROUGHT A VIDEO...

SO IRENE COULD SEE MY MOTHER.

>> (SONIA) THEY WANT TO MAKE A WHOREHOUSE, AND THEY CALL ME A WHORE.

LIKE HELL AM I GOING TO TAKE THAT [SWEAR WORD] FROM THEM.

YOU GONNA SEE STRANGE.

MAYBE I AM STRANGE, WHO KNOWS.

>> (HOWARD) DON'T YOU WANT TO USE A SPOON OR SOMETHING MOM.

DO YOU HAVE A SPOON?

(SONIA) IT'S MORE FUN LIKE THAT.

IT'S FUNNY.

>> UNBELIEVABLE.

WHY IS SHE PUTTING THIS BREAD?

>> I BRING A LOAF OF PUMPERNICKEL BREAD; SHE MAKES TEN PACKAGES OF IT.

TWO SLICES, TWO SLICES, TWO SLICES.

FIVE FOR HER.

SHE PUTS IN THE PURSE FOR LATER.

FIVE FOR ME... BECAUSE I MAY NOT HAVE FOOD TOO.

>> IT MEANS THAT SHE WILL STAY IN THIS SITUATION AS LONG AS SHE IS ALIVE?

>> THERE SEEMS NO WAY OUT.

>> (HOWARD) I WANTED LEON TO SEE THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN, THE HOUSE MY MOTHER RAN OUT OF.

>> SHE CAME OUT OF THIS DOOR WALKED DOWN THIS SIDEWALK... SHE HAD TWO BROWN SHOPPING BAGS WITH HER, WITH HER CLOTHES, PACKED UP HER CLOTHES AND STARTED WALKING DOWN THIS STREET.

>> IT WAS DARK, IT WAS AFTER 10 O'CLOCK.

SHE SAID NO ONE WOULD LET HER IN.

>> WHY SHE KNOCKED?

>> BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO KILL HER.

SHE HEARD THAT SOMEONE WAS GOING TO PUT A BULLET IN HER HEAD.

>> SO I DON'T IF THIS THE REAL BIRTH DATE, OR FROM THE FALSE PAPERS, OR WHAT THE... >> I CAN PROBABLY... >> YOU ASKED HOW TO GET LEON INTO THE PICTURE, AND I CAN TELL YOU, WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY.

>> HE HAS TO KNOW THAT HE MIGHT BE REJECTED.

>> HE'S NERVOUS.

>> OK, SO I'LL GO IN FOR A FEW MINUTES, START TALKING TO MY MOTHER AND IN A LITTLE WHILE I'LL COME OUT AND GET LEON.

>> OKAY.

>> WHEN THEY UNDRESSED ME TILL THE HAIR, AND THEY STARTED CALL ME KURVA AND A WHORE.

A PROSTITUTE I AM NOT.

I AM A...

PLAIN MARRIED WOMAN.

I AM MARRIED TO ONE MAN.

AND THAT'S HOW IT IS.

AND NOBODY HAS A RIGHT TO KEEP MY MOUTH ZIPPED.

THAT'S IT.

>> CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING FOR A SECOND?

SOMEONE'S COME HERE TO SEE YOU.

>> WHO?

>> (GREETS HER IN POLISH) >> NO.

NO.

>> DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> ZOSIA.

>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS YOU OR I DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS, WILL YOU STEP OUT I HAVE COMPANY AND IF SOMEBODY COMES TO ME, I DO NOT LIKE WHEN SOMEBODY IS BUTTING IN.

>> THIS IS LONEK, LEON.

WAS-- >> NO.

EXCUSE ME.

STEP OUT.

>> WELL REMEMBER HIS SISTER IS FANKA.

AND THEY GREW UP WITH YOU IN DUBNO.

>> YOU KNOW.

NOT EVERYBODY LIKES COKE.

AND I USE DIET COKE.

>> DO YOU REMEMBER THIS PICTURE, MOM?

THIS IS HIM.

AND THIS IS YOU.

YOU REMEMBER THIS PICTURE.

THIS IS YOUR GRANDFATHER.

AND THIS IS HIM.

>> YOU KNEW HIM BACK THEN WHEN HE WAS LEV, I THINK?

YES?

>> NO.

STEP OUT PLEASE.

I WAS TALKING TO THAT GENTLEMAN NOW.

YOU KNOW, HOWIE, YOU SHOULD LEARN TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, NOT WHAT SOMEBODY TELLS YOU TO DO.

>> COULD YOU PUT THE PAPER TOWEL DOWN, MOM.

I CAN'T SEE YOU.

>> PEEK-A-BOO.

HERE I AM.

>> SO ANYHOW, WHAT I TRIED TO SAY YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT A PERSON BY LOOKING AT FIRST TIME... FOR INSTANCE YOU CAN TAKE A LIKE TO SOME PEOPLE AND A DISLIKE, BUT I TELL YOU SOMETHING.

USUALLY, I WAS RIGHT.

>> NO.

>> YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING.

TODAY, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW, WHOSE BABY IS THIS YOU CAN TAKE A BLOOD TEST.

>> IT'S NOT THEIR NAME ANYHOW.

TODAY, THEY CAN BE COULDY, MOULDY, DOULDY GOD KNOWS WHAT...

IF I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER, THIS IS MY BUSINESS.

>> OK, WELL MOM, I BROUGHT YOU SOME SWEET ROLLS.

>> BUT YOU KNOW... >> DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD-- AND I'LL STAY HERE FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.

>> I CAN SAY...

STEP OUT IF THEY DON'T WANT TO STEP OUT THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

BUT WELL, LET THEM SIT HERE.

>> IT'S VERY DEPRESSING.

>> RIGHT.

>> RIGHT.

>> I KNOW.

>> LEON, KNEW MY MOTHER BACK BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENED AND SHE JUST DID NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THE PAST, SHE DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM, WOULD NOT LOOK AT HIM...

SO IT WAS VERY ROUGH ON HIM BUT ANYWAY SO WE GOT PAST THAT...

SO I NOW WANT TO SHOW THEM WHAT I DO AND TAKE THEM TO MY FAVORITE JAZZ CLUB.

[JAZZ MUSIC] >> (HOWARD) LEON TAUGHT ME WHAT IT MEANS TO SURVIVE.

AND MY MOTHER IS STILL DOING WHAT SHE NEEDS TO DO TO SURVIVE.

WHEN I FINALLY GOT BACK TO WORK, I WENT TO NEW ORLEANS FOR A STORY ON WHAT KATRINA DID TO JAZZ CULTURE.

AND I FOUND AN ENTIRE CITY IN THE GRIP OF PTSD...

ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN.

>> WE THOUGHT, ONE GOOD THING TO SHOW WOULD BE WHAT IS BEING DONE TO HELP KIDS TODAY THAT WAS NOT DONE FOR MY MOTHER... >> ONE OF THE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS RELATED TO DEALING WITH TRAUMA IS TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR STORY... >> IF THE LEVEES BROKE AT SEVEN, I'D HAVE BEEN IN THE HOUSE BY MYSELF.

NO ONE ELSE WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

>> I'M ONLY FOUR FEET ELEVEN.

I HAD SEVEN AND A HALF FEET OF WATER IN MY HOME...

I EVACUATED FROM ALABAMA, FROM ALABAMA TO ATLANTA, FROM ATLANTA TO TEXAS... AND, I DIDN'T HEAR FROM MY BEST FRIEND TILL NOVEMBER.

AND WHEN WE HEARD EACH OTHER'S VOICE, IT WAS JUST LIKE, NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

WE DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER, WE JUST KNEW THAT OUR PRESENCE WAS THERE.

>> DURING THE HURRICANE A LOT OF PEOPLE ON MY BLOCK, STAYED AND SO THEY WHERE CALLING ME, "J, WHERE ARE YOU J, WHERE ARE YOU?"...

I SAID I WAS IN TEXAS BUT I HEARD THAT ABRAMSON WAS A SAFE SCHOOL, SO I TOLD A LOT OF PEOPLE TO GO TO ABE.

AND I FOUND OUT ON THAT THURSDAY THAT THE ROOF CAVED IN AT ABE AND THAT ALMOST EVERYBODY DIED, AND I FEEL LIKE IT WAS KIND OF MY FAULT FOR SENDING THEM THERE, BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE.

AND THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE, THEY MIGHT HAVE STAYED ON THERE ROOF AND GOT RESCUED, AND... LIKE, I HAVE A SUITCASE READY EVERYDAY, AND I FEEL LIKE, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I'M GOING TO HAVE A SUITCASE ON THE SIDE OF MY BED, SO THAT WHENEVER SOMETHING HAPPENS, WHETHER IT BE A FLOOD, OR TORNADO, OR FIRE-- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE A HURRICANE CAN'T HAPPEN, I'M GONNA HAVE A SUITCASE.

>> DID YOU NOTICE THAT SHE TOLD HER STORY WITH VERY LITTLE AFFECT, WITH VERY LITTLE EMOTION, AND I WAS THINKING WE VERY MUCH NEED TO FOLLOW UP WITH HER.

>> THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY MOM DOES TO THIS DAY.

SHE'S GOT HER BIG BAG PACKED WITH TOOTHPASTE, SOAP, CLOTHES, EVERYTHING READY TO GO, SIXTY YEARS LATER.

SO WOULD THESE KIND OF THINGS HAVE HELPED SOMEONE LIKE MY MOTHER?

>> SHE COULD'VE BEEN HELPED.

BUT YOU ARE TELLING HER STORY.

AND YOU'RE TELLING HER STORY TO SAY, LET'S NEVER, EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO CHILDREN, YOU KNOW, AND FAMILIES AND THERE ARE THINGS WE CAN DO.

AND I THINK THAT'S A VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT STORY THAT YOU'RE TELLING.

>> ISN'T THIS FUN.

GET TO SEE YOUR GRANDMA.

>> (HOWARD) MY SISTER AND HER FAMILY ARE IN FROM CALIFORNIA.

MY MOTHER'S CONDITION IS THE SAME, BUT THE GRANDCHILDREN USUALLY BRING OUT THE BEST IN HER.

I CAUGHT A LITTLE BABY BUMBLEBEE WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME?

OUCH!

IT STUNG ME!

>> HEY MOM I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT YOU.

>> FIRST OF ALL I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WROTE A BOOK.

>> THIS IS THE BOOK THAT I WROTE.

>> THIS IS THE BOOK.

>> I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WROTE A BOOK.

>> DO YOU RECOGNIZE THAT PICTURE ON THE FRONT?

>> NO, THAT IS NOT ME AT ALL.

THERE IS NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT ME.

>> MAYBE YOU'LL RECOGNIZE THE PICTURES ON THE INSIDE HERE.

>> YEAH THIS IS MY HUSBAND.

YOU KNOW... >> AND WHO'S THIS?

THIS FAT LITTLE KID?

>> THIS IS YOU.

>> AND WHO'S THAT?

>> THIS IS... >> LEON, WHO CAME TO VISIT A COUPLE MONTHS AGO.

REMEMBER WHEN HE CAME HERE?

>> THIS IS ONLY A COPY BUT I WOULDN'T GIVE PERMISSION TO WRITE A REAL BOOK BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO WRITE.

>> YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

>> A MONKEY.

>> NO, I'M AFRAID NOT.

>> NO, THAT'S NOT ME.

THAT COULD NOT BE.

>> SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THE BOOK TO READ?

>> NO.

>> ARE YOU SURE?

>> YES.

>> OKAY.

SHE DOESN'T WANT MY BOOK.

>> SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT?

>> NO.

>> I DON'T WANT THE BOOK, I HAVE YOU AND I HAVE YOU, AND I HAVE HERE.

>> RIGHT.

>> HEY MOM, THE KIDS WANT TO GO FOR A WALK WITH YOU.

LETS GO.

>> LETS GO, GRANDMA!

>> (HOWARD) DESPITE ALL THAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, MY MOTHER WAS STILL A GRANDMOTHER, STILL A MOTHER, AND IN HER OWN WAY, STILL IN CHARGE.

>> HANDICAPPED.

I AM HANDICAPPED.

BECAUSE I AM LIMPING.

HAH!

WELL.

>> WAIT... >> YOU WANT ME TO BRING YOU PAPER TOWEL NEXT TIME?

>> YEA, AND DON'T FORGET A TOILET BRUSH.

>> RIGHT.

OKAY BYE MOM.

>> BYE SWEETHEART.

>> LOVE YOU MOM.

>> I LOVE YOU TOO.

>> OKAY, BYE.

>> BYE LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

>> BYE BYE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> BYE BYE.

>> BYE.