HASTINGS: The whole art of clay pigeon shooting lies in the time.

The trick is, when I say, "Pull".

No!

GUNSHOTS Sorry.

My fault.

Should have warned you there.

- Weren't you ready?

- Oh, no.

It's all right.

I say, they go up jolly quickly, don't they?

YOUNG WOMAN: Do you want a go?

No.

I think I'll learn the shooting bit first.

Can you reload that, Pamela?

Ooh, I-I don't know.

They go in here, don't they?

Shall I, miss?

I'm perfectly capable, thank you very much.

Well, er... we'll leave the reloading for a minute.

You see, when I say, "Pull"...

Morning, Hastings.

Lovely day.

- Morning, General.

Morning, ladies.

BOTH: Morning.

Well, now.

Kitty, why don't you have a try?

HASTINGS: If you don't practice, you won't be ready for the championship.

It's all set for the 14th.

Morning, Mr Russell.

Bracing, eh?

WOMAN SINGING ♪ Pale hands, pink tipped ♪ ♪ Like lotus buds that float ♪ ♪ On those cool waters Where we... ♪ - Good morning, Mr Poirot.

- Bonjour, Captain Fowler.

♪ I would have rather ♪ ♪ Felt them round my throat ♪ ♪ Crushing out life ♪ ♪ Than waving in farewell ♪ ♪ Crushing out life... ♪ Oh!

Good morning, Mr Poirot.

Bonjour, Mademoiselle Morgan.

You are in good voice, eh?

It's your Captain Hastings, Mr Poirot.

He's got us all organised.

Captain Hastings is very good at that.

I thought, the General was awfully good last night, with his recitation from Swinburne.

Oh, yes.

The General recites poetry with true military vigour.

Perhaps your niece can be persuaded to entertain us one evening.

Well, perhaps she will, Mr Poirot.

Perhaps she will.

Excuse me.

PIANO PLAYING ♪ Pale hands I loved ♪ ♪ Beside the Shalimar ♪ WOMAN SINGING SOFTLY ♪ Don't ever lose All the charm you possess ♪ ♪ Your loveliness ♪ ♪ Darling, the way you say "Yes" ♪ ♪ Stay as sweet as you are ♪ ♪ Discreet as you are ♪ ♪ You're divine, dear ♪ John.

John?

FAINT LAUGHTER WOMAN LAUGHING Of course, the actual wound I got was ludicrously minor.

I felt a complete fraud.

I'm sure it wasn't minor.

Oh, I assure you it was.

Mind you, I was convinced I was going to die.

But that's only because I'm a coward.

- Oh, John.

- Oh, good morning, General.

- Morning, Clapperton.

- Good morning, General.

GENERAL: Morning, Miss Henderson.

Fine day.

Little breezy.

LAUGHTER ADELINE: John?

Good morning, Monsieur Poirot.

- Madame Clapperton.

Have you seen John?

Ah, yes, he is on the foredeck, Madame.

Oh, shall I?

Sit down, Monsieur Poirot.

I didn't see you at dinner last night.

Non, non, non.

It was just a shade choppy, of course.

Well, no.

I was... Fortunately, I am an excellent sailor.

The one thing I must not do is overtire myself.

I live so intensely, if you know what I mean, Monsieur Poirot.

Oh, yes.

As a matter of fact, I nearly wore myself out as a girl in the war.

My hospital.

You've heard about my hospital?

Of course, I had nurses and matrons and that sort of thing, but I actually ran it.

Your vitality is formidable, dear lady.

SHE CHUCKLES "You're so alive, Adeline," they say to me.

But really, Monsieur Poirot, what would one be if one wasn't alive?

Dead, Madame!

I must find my husband.

LAUGHTER You won't find sharks in the Mediterranean.

BOTH CHUCKLING Oh, there you are!

Oh, hello, my dear, I did found you a chair.

Would you like it in or out of the sun?

In the sun.

Are you... Are you going to be warm enough?

I'm freezing, absolutely.

HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY I'd take a hatchet to that woman if I were her husband.

Bonjour, monsieur.

I knew a woman like that once in Hyderabad.

Absolutely poisonous.

In '87, that was.

And er... did anyone take a hatchet to her?

No.

Last time I saw her, she was on her third husband.

HASTINGS: Position is everything.

If you lose your balance, you could swing round and shoot a hole in the mast, or worse.

WOMAN LAUGHS GENERAL FORBES: Colonel Clapperton?

Colonel?

- Such a soldierly-looking man.

Soldierly?

He was in the Guards, wasn't he, General Forbes?

Guards?

Before the war, that fellow was on the music hall stage.

No!

Fact.

Music hall stage.

War comes along, they start letting anyone in.

Hun drops a stray bomb, pure good luck, he goes home with a flesh wound in the arm.

How did he meet Mrs Clapperton?

Mrs Clapperton?

Lady Pardot, she was then.

Really?

He got into her hospital somehow.

Did it have anything to do with him being wounded, do you think?

Oh, yes.

He had to be wounded.

You should get a bit of exercise, Miss Henderson.

Does you no good sitting around, thinking, you know.

No, I know.

Unfortunately, my religion forbids it at this time of year.

Oh.

Oh!

Right.

I mean, erm... Well.

Adeline.

Oh, hello, Dermot.

I've been trying to talk to you ever since you both came aboard.

I don't see that we've a lot to say to each other, have we?

Oh, surely, after all the... What do you want?

I was just...

Were you spying on us?

I wanted to clear your trays, ma'am.

Well, get on and do it, then.

I am a happily married woman, General Forbes.

MISS MORGAN SINGING ♪ You've saved us Said Kitchener, with delight ♪ ♪ I joined the Army yesterday ♪ ♪ So the Army of today's All right ♪ It's her family I feel sorry for.

♪ Boys, take my tip And join the Army right away ♪ ♪ The money's good Not much but good ♪ ♪ Who knows, perhaps You'll be a general some day ♪ ♪ Remember, chaps I said perhaps ♪ ♪ Though we may have Need of you ♪ ♪ Don't think any Old stuff will do ♪ ♪ In the army... ♪ No soldier songs, I said.

No Indian love lyrics.

What does sing?

The Army Of Today's All Right and The Kashmiri Love Song.

HE SIGHS You can't expect no better from civilians, sir.

We're all civilians now, Bates.

ADELINE: Trouble with a cruise like this is, you're forced to suffer amateur entertainment night after night.

MAN: Oh... we rather enjoyed it, didn't we, Molly?

What did you think, Colonel Clapperton?

John would have been quite happy to sit and listen to that dreadful woman for hours.

He has no taste as far as anything artistic goes.

It's true.

Mrs Tolliver's artistic.

That must be a great solace to you.

We're really looking forward to seeing the museum in Alexandria tomorrow.

John and I won't be going ashore.

We never bother with antiquities.

One must live in the present, don't you find?

My house has nothing in it older than three years.

I'll have to sell my car next year, then, darling.

My car...

I think, John.

Certainly, my dear.

Your car.

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH Twenty past ten.

Oh.

Indeed.

Well, what about bridge, mm?

Bridge?

Bridge?

Yes.

Bridge.

SHE CHUCKLES Come on, we can use the dining table.

- Oh, may we join you?

- What about you, Clapperton?

Oh, John won't play.

Most tiresome of him.

Sorry.

You can join us if you like.

What was your name again?

Tolliver.

Mrs Tolliver.

And I'm her husband.

Mr Tolliver.

What a clever arrangement!

WOMAN: A kidnapping!

- Kidnapping!

You're coming with us.

It's a kidnapping.

A Clapperton-napping.

To the boat deck.

HE CHUCKLES ADELINE: Don't be foolish, John.

You'll catch a chill.

Not with us, he won't.

We're hot stuff.

Anyway, there's a moon.

BOTH GIGGLING Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

Do you ever go down on your knees and thank God you didn't have any children?

Well, as a matter of fact, we did.

Two.

A little boy and a little girl.

Oh, for heaven's sake, get on and deal!

I know it's the most awful romantic cliche, but the moon is beautiful, isn't it?

POIROT SPEAKS IN FRENCH It is like a giant oeuf en cocotte.

SHE LAUGHS Oh, Monsieur Poirot.

ADELINE: I thought you said you could play!

Mademoiselle, I want to ask your advice... ..on a matter of the English language.

I'm sure you don't need that.

Mademoiselle is too amiable, huh?

HE CHUCKLES But, no.

Just now, Madame Clapperton said that John won't play bridge.

Is not "can't play" the usual term?

She takes it as a personal insult that he doesn't play, I suppose.

Ah.

The man was a fool ever to have married her.

Oh, many odious women have devoted husbands, huh?

It is an enigma of nature.

Which is perhaps why the estimable Captain Hastings has not yet taken the plunge into matrimony.

Matrimony?

HE SHUDDERS You've not entered the clay pigeon championship yet, are you, Miss Henderson?

Er... no.

I don't think I really mean to... Hastings, can't you talk of something else for once?

Oh.

No, no, I'd love to talk about the clay pigeon championship, but tomorrow, perhaps?

I have some letters to finish that I want to post in Alexandria.

Good night, Mademoiselle Henderson.

Good night.

- Good night, Miss Henderson.

- Good night.

Oh, Hastings, Hastings.

What?

Whatever is the use of me introducing you to nice, young ladies if all you do is talk about the shooting of the clay pigeons?

But they like it!

You heard what Miss Henderson said.

She'd love to talk about it tomorrow.

Oh, Hastings, Hastings, Hastings.

Now, pick a card.

No.

Don't show me.

Now, remember what the card is and put it back into the pack.

That's good.

Now, just a little... shuffle.

Your card.

It is.

Isn't that clever?

I see you enjoy playing cards, monsieur, even though you do not play bridge.

I have my reasons for not playing bridge.

I'll show you.

Sit down.

We'll play one hand.

You can shuffle the cards, Mr Poirot.

Voila.

JOHN: You see, any man who can deal his partner and adversaries any hand he pleases, better stand aloof from a friendly game of cards.

But, how did you do it?

I mean, it all looked perfectly ordinary.

Ah.

The quickness of the hand deceives the eye.

GIRLS GIGGLE You could go on the stage with that, Colonel Clapperton.

Yes.

Quite.

Well, I hope I haven't bored you with my little demonstration.

Well, good night, ladies.

Gentlemen.

Did I say something wrong?

I don't know, Hastings.

I really don't know.

Oh, we ought to get off now.

You'll come with us, won't you?

You wouldn't let us go ashore by ourselves?

TIN CLUNKING - Hey, miss.

Miss.

- Please go away!

Genuine bits from the tombs for the Pharaohs.

I don't want any Pharaoh's bits.

HE SPEAKS IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE You see, awful things might happen to us.

Well, I certainly don't think you should go alone.

Hurray!

But I'm not sure if my wife feels up to it.

Hurray!

I mean, er, boo.

She can have a nice, long rest.

Well, I'll go and have a word with Adeline.

- We'll come with you.

- Yes.

Perhaps we can persuade her to come.

KNOCKING ON DOOR ADELINE: Who's that?

Adeline, m'dear, it's John.

The door's locked.

I don't want to be disturbed by the stewards.

Bonjour, ladies.

We're trying to get him to ourselves for the day.

Lure him into the souk.

SHE GIGGLES Cajole him into the casbah.

What about coming ashore?

Certainly not.

I've had a very bad night.

I shall stay in bed most of the day.

Well, I think I might go, Adeline.

ADELINE: Oh, do as you like, John, for heaven's sake.

Do you mind if I just come in and get my Baedeker?

Yes, I do mind.

I'm not getting out of bed.

Do go away, John, and let me have a little peace.

We can go now?

What about your passport?

It's in my pocket.

Glory be!

BOTH GIGGLING MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYING No, no.

Er, miss.

Miss.

No, no.

Please, please, I really must go.

Real amber beads, Miss.

Real agate, real jet.

Oh, OK. How much are those amber ones?

- Three hundred, miss.

- No, that's far too much.

- Mine 200, miss.

- One hundred fifty, miss.

Oh, very well.

Look, I'll take the amber ones.

But after that, I really must go.

Here, clear off, you!

You're not allowed down here!

Cheeky blighter!

KEYS JANGLING Ah, Hastings, are you ready to go?

All set.

Going ashore, General Forbes?

- Well, yes.

Very probably.

I'll see.

- See you later.

I think we ought to avoid the usual sort of tourist thing, as much as we can, Poirot.

Good, good.

I am absolutely in your hands, Hastings.

INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS DISTANT CALL TO PRAYER CAMEL GROANS, PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY MAN SPEAKS IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE Be looking fierce, sir.

Savage.

Non, non, non, non, Hastings!

Now you look merely constipated.

It's all very well for you.

This camel's jolly uncomfortable sitting on.

It's sharp.

Good morning, Monsieur Poirot.

Ah, bonjour, Mademoiselle Henderson.

- Good morning, Captain.

- Oh.

Good morning.

Like that.

HE SPEAKS IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE Ready.

MISS HENDERSON: Doesn't he look dashing?

Oh, yes, indeed.

You know, he looks as if he's summoning up the courage to order the second teacake.

SHE CHUCKLES Monsieur Poirot, have you seen the Clappertons ashore this morning?

I believe Madame Clapperton was spending the day in her cabin.

Ah.

And what about Colonel Clapperton?

Ah, let me think.

He came ashore, yes.

No, certainly, he came ashore.

It's just that there was some talk last night of us all coming ashore together.

Ah.

- Monsieur Poirot?

- Yes, mademoiselle?

Was Colonel Clapperton alone when he came ashore?

Was he alone?

Let me think.

Maybe someone was with him.

Miss Mooney and Miss Cregan, perhaps?

Ah, yes.

Yes.

The two little girls.

Yes.

They're not children, Monsieur Poirot.

Oh, no.

Nor am I.

No.

Ah!

Very good.

PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY I say, Poirot, look at these pomegranates.

SHE SPEAKS IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE Sorry?

I don't think they don't like you to touch the fruit, Captain Hastings.

Oh.

Sorry.

Monsieur et Madame Tolliver, what a pleasant surprise.

Are you alone?

Oh, quite alone, yes.

Oh, that nice General Forbes joined us for a while, but he had to rush back.

He wasn't feeling at all the thing.

Gippy tummy, I dare say.

Oliver!

Now, we were just about to take some lunch.

Would you care to join us?

Lunch?

In a native place, you mean?

I say!

Why not, Molly?

Let's give it a go.

SHE EXHALES Count me out, Poirot.

I think I'd better be getting back to the ship.

Oh, must you desert us, Hastings?

Ah, one or two things to catch up on, you know.

Very well.

Monsieur et Madame Tolliver and I will see you back onboard ship late afternoon.

Please.

HASTINGS: We'll let the two girls go first because they are the least experienced.

Then, it had better be General Forbes.

He's an old hand at this sort of competition.

We can't do it in the middle of Alexandria harbour, sir.

I don't see why not, Bates, if we shoot in the general direction of the open sea.

There's nothing much parked out there.

- Moored, sir.

- Moored?

Well, I'm sure the harbour master would have something to say, sir.

MR RUSSELL: Started in India, you know.

Beg your pardon?

Had its origins in India, clay pigeons.

Oh, really?

In the 13th century.

Of course, it was bows and arrows, then.

And they didn't have that catapult thing.

Just had these fellows with tremendously strong arms.

PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY MISS MOONEY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY Yes, she probably will.

Come along, Pamela.

Ah, Mademoiselle Mooney and Colonel Clapperton, you had an enjoyable day ashore, I trust?

- Absolutely.

- Good.

Come on, Pammy.

I'll, er... see you at dinner, perhaps.

I hope so.

JOHN: Adeline.

HE KNOCKS Adeline!

Adeline, my dear.

HE CONTINUES KNOCKING Adeline!

HE SIGHS It's locked.

- You do not have your key?

- Er, no.

I'll find a steward.

- Ah, Poirot.

- Steward!

We seem to be having some trouble with the clay pigeon championship.

Really?

It was originally planned, you see, to take place on the 14th, but it seems that we dock at Haifa on the 13th.

And that's one of those places where we more or less have to go ashore and look at the ruins while they revictual the ship.

Now, that leaves the 15th, the 16th and the 18th.

The 17th's no good, because that's the night of the Captain's party.

Oh, my God!

My God!

She's dead.

Fetch the captain, mon ami.

Look at this, Poirot.

One of the souvenir sellers must've dropped it.

The devils!

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING Colonel Clapperton, what a tragedy.

Can you help us with this, Mr Poirot?

I want to avoid involving the Egyptian police, if possible.

Yes, Captain, perhaps I can.

Is anything missing as far as you can tell, Colonel Clapperton?

My wife always keeps... kept... ..always kept some cash in the second drawer of the dressing table.

It seems to have gone.

How much was there?

Between 20 and 30 pounds.

Anything else?

Her jewels.

There weren't very many.

Most of them were in the Captain's safe.

Perhaps you could you let us have a description of them?

I'll try.

I don't know if I can remember them very exactly.

I know the headband thing she was wearing last night has gone.

BEADS RATTLING What can you tell me about this?

That's not my wife's.

You are quite sure?

Quite.

She'd never wear a thing like that.

It was found on the floor between the two beds.

Then someone must've dropped it there.

Would you say that your wife had any enemies?

Certainly not.

Colonel Clapperton, you have been most helpful.

Thank you very much.

May I offer you my condolences.

If there's anything we can do, Colonel.

Thank you, Captain.

But... there's nothing.

Nothing can bring Adeline back again.

Good God!

POIROT: Murdered, General Forbes.

Good God above!

You were acquainted with Madame Clapperton... ..before this voyage, I think?

I knew Adeline when she was Lady Pardot.

I knew her before that when she was Adeline French.

I was ADC to her father back in '92, when she was... seven years old.

God, I can hardly believe it!

I was in love with her for years.

She was not always the silly woman she became.

You must not incriminate yourself, monsieur.

Incriminate myself?

How could I?

Monsieur and Madame Tolliver tell me that you came back to the ship before lunch.

What of it?

Saying that you were ill?

No.

All right.

No.

I came back to talk to Adeline.

I hadn't seen her for 17 years.

Not since the war, since after Pardot died.

I thought there might be a chance for me, then.

But I didn't...

I mean, she was in mourning.

Of course, that didn't deter a man like Clapperton.

You came back to the ship... to talk to Madame Clapperton?

Yes.

Tell me what happened when you got back to the ship.

Well, nothing happened.

I went to her cabin and knocked, but she didn't reply.

So I went back to mine.

And had a nap.

Well, what do you say, Mr Poirot?

One cannot hurry the little grey cells, Captain.

Have you rounded up the souvenirwallahs yet?

Yes.

Actually, one of them identified Miss Henderson as having bought an amber necklace.

Really?

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

DOOR OPENS Yes, Bates.

I've carried out my examination of the body, Sir.

And?

Oh.

HE CLEARS THROAT The deceased died from a knife wound to the upper thorax, Sir.

Good God, Bates, we can all see that for ourselves!

I'm sorry, Sir.

But I've only got me first-aid book, haven't I?

At what time did she die, Monsieur Bates?

Oh, erm... it's difficult to say, sir... ..what, with the weather being so warm.

Never mind about that, Bates.

What we want to know is, what time was Mrs Clapperton killed?

About 10 o'clock this morning, Sir.

Ten, eh?

Give or take an hour or two, sir.

Oh, dear God!

KITTY SOBBING It's all right, Kitty.

You weren't to know, old thing.

KNOCKING ON DOOR Who is it?

It is I, Hercule Poirot.

SHE CONTINUES SOBBING It's all right, Kitty.

Oh, hello, Monsieur Poirot.

Bonsoir, Mademoiselle Cregan.

May I come in for a minute, please?

Well... Oh...

I only have one question.

It's just that Kitty's making such a blessed racket.

Oh, dear, dear.

She... blames herself, you see.

Well... and me.

But how can she blame herself?

Well, we did say some pretty dreadful things about her.

HE CHUCKLES My dear Mademoiselle Cregan, if everyone on board who had said unpleasant things about Madame Clapperton were to make as much noise as your friend, this vessel would become a danger to shipping.

There!

Do you hear that, old girl?

KITTY SOBS HARDER Oh.

What was the one question?

Oh, it is quite simple, really.

You both left the ship this morning at 9:30 with Colonel Clapperton, yes?

You know we did.

You saw us.

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH So, please tell me... was Colonel Clapperton with you for the whole day until you got back to the ship at four o'clock this afternoon?

Yes.

Absolutely.

Every minute of the day.

He doesn't think... Oh, no!

SHE CONTINUES SOBBING Every minute of the day, you say?

Absolutely.

Well... - Yes?

Well... we went to a cafe for some tea, at about twelve.

- Uh-huh.

- And he, Colonel Clapperton, that is, well, he went to the... ..you know... for a couple of minutes.

Ah.

I understand.

But just for a couple of minutes, you say?

Well, one doesn't time it.

SOBBING CONTINUES INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS LIQUID BUBBLING Oh, no, you don't!

You've got a few questions to answer, my lad, unless I'm very much mistaken.

MAN CALLS OUT IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE STEWARD: I didn't kill her.

HASTINGS: You had her jewellery.

Jewellery?

She was rich.

What did it matter to her?

Come, Monsieur Skinner!

Madame Clapperton is dead!

You were caught red-handed by my colleague, Captain Hastings, trying to sell the jewellery of Madame Clapperton.

You admit you let yourself into her cabinet.

She was dead already!

I shouldn't have took it.

Not when I saw she was dead.

Might've known it'd be trouble.

HE GRUNTS HASTINGS BANGS ON DOOR Do you believe him?

Yes, I think I do.

Me, too.

So, we're back to the souvenir hawkers.

Why do you not consider one of the passengers, Hastings?

The passengers?

Who?

Colonel Clapperton?

Got a watertight alibi.

General Forbes?

What about Mademoiselle Henderson?

Really?

No.

I think, perhaps she has the motive, non?

She's a lady, Poirot.

And you think, mon ami, that ladies do not commit murder?

Ladies don't get found out.

MAN SHOUTS IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE POIROT: Madame Clapperton had been dead for at least five hours when she was found.

A small amount of money and some jewellery had been taken.

A string of beads was on the floor, near to her bed.

The door was locked and the key, missing.

And the hatch, which gives onto the deck, was open.

What are you driving at, Poirot?

Madame Clapperton had locked the door from the inside.

We actually heard her say so herself.

If Mrs Clapperton could lock the door, she could unlock it too, I suppose.

Precisement.

Precisely.

Which leads us to the inescapable conclusion that Madame Clapperton unlocked the door and let in the murderer.

Miss Henderson...

I hope you don't mind me asking, but you bought an amber necklace yesterday, didn't you?

Yes, I did.

How did you know that?

The Captain mentioned it.

He just happened to mention it.

Would you mind if I had a look at it?

I'm afraid I've lost it.

I must've dropped it somewhere, put it down...

I don't know.

Yes.

Right.

Of course.

I thought Mrs Clapperton a very unpleasant woman.

In fact, I don't think anyone on board ship really liked her, but surely... ..who would have reason to kill her?

Mademoiselle... it is the opinion of every person on board the ship that the Colonel Clapperton would have been quite justified in taking a hatchet to her.

Now, that was an expression I actually heard used.

But... he had an alibi.

He was on shore all day with the two girls, and he did not return to the ship until four o'clock that afternoon... ..by which time... ..Madame Clapperton had been dead for many hours.

Seems to me we're back to General Forbes as our only suspect.

Bonsoir, Mademoiselle Morgan.

I want, please, to ask a favour of your niece.

Our niece?

Very well.

Ismene.

Good evening, Ismene.

I want to borrow somebody from you, if I may.

APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen... ..tonight, I shall offer you a garland from our national poet, Mr Rudyard Kipling, starting with... "The Ladies".

LAUGHTER I've taken my fun Where I've found it I've rogued And I've ranged in my time I've had my pickin' Of sweethearts And four of the lot was prime One was a half-caste widow One was a woman from Prome One was a wife Of a jemadar-sais SHE CHUCKLES And one is a girl at home.

LAUGHTER Now... - Pardon me, Mr Russell.

- Oh, that's all right.

Now, I aren't no hand With the ladies...

I'm sorry.

I...

I have to make an announcement.

If you'd be good enough to sit down, sir... You come and join us, Mr Russell.

Ladies and gentlemen, you all know what a tragedy occurred yesterday.

And, I'm sure you will all want to co-operate in bringing the perpetrator of the foul crime to book.

As you know, we are fortunate enough to have on board Mr Hercule Poirot, who is probably known to you all as the man who has wide experience in, erm... such matters.

I hope you will listen carefully to what he has to say.

Mr Poirot.

Thank you, Captain Fowler.

Mesdames, messieurs... ..what I am about to do may surprise you a little.

It may occur to you that I am eccentric, perhaps mad.

Ah, you may say, "the little Belgian detective is taking leave of his rocker!"

AUDIENCE CHUCKLING But I can assure you... ..behind my madness... ..is, as you English say... ..method.

Voila!

A suitcase.

How uninteresting!

AUDIENCE CHUCKLING Nothing is less interesting than a suitcase, yes?

And you are right, except... ..suitcases have contents.

Ah.

SHE SIGHS IN RELIEF It's a doll!

Yes, a doll.

Except this doll... ..is an important witness... ..to the truth... of who killed... ..Madame Clapperton.

But how is it this doll can tell us what it knows, eh?

But this is a doll... ..that can speak.

You have not heard of dolls that can speak?

Yes, of course you have.

All we have to do is put this doll back in the suitcase... Ah.

HE CHUCKLES ..where we cannot see her.

SUITCASE SHUTS She does not like to be seen, this little lady.

Do you, ma petite?

CHILD'S VOICE: No.

- Ah!

Now... ..can you tell us anything about the death... ..of Madame Clapperton?

CHILD'S VOICE: What is it, John?

Door's locked.

ADELINE: The door's locked.

CHILD'S VOICE: Don't want to be disturbed by the stewards.

ADELINE: I don't want to be disturbed by the stewards.

HE SHUDDERS You... Stop him!

INDISTINCT YELLING Yes!

Take him to my quarters.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you would clear the room.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Did I do it right, Mr Poirot?

Oh, yes... ..ma petite.

It was you, General, who gave me a valuable hint with your mention of the music hall stage.

I puzzle, huh.

I think.

And then, the evening before the crime, Colonel Clapperton pretended to give himself away.

He wanted us to believe that he was a conjuror... ..because then it would never occur to us that he was, in fact, a ventriloquist.

And that's what he did when you heard him talking to Mrs Clapperton through her cabin door.

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH And, by then, she was already dead.

Excuse me.

What about the necklace on the floor?

Was it Miss Henderson's?

No.

It was put there to make us think that some native thief was the killer.

Whether it cast suspicion on someone who really cared for him was a cruel irony.

Pardon.

I am sorry, mademoiselle.

He didn't do it for me.

It was those girls' youth.

It made him feel his slavery.

He wanted to be free before it was too late.

We all have such dreams.

When did you guess it was him?

His self-control was too perfect.

No matter how galling was the conduct of his wife, it never seemed to touch him.

That either meant that he was so used to it that it no longer stung... ..or else... ..he knew his bondage would soon be over.

It was a cruel, dirty trick you played, Monsieur Poirot.

I do not approve of murder.

Mademoiselle.

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