>> male announcer: PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.

>> man: ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ♪ ♪ ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, ♪ ♪ AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT ♪ ♪ THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT ♪ ♪ THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT.

♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING ♪ ♪ SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE GOT THE MAP, ♪ ♪ SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ♪ ♪ ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, ♪ ♪ IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT.

♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT.

♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ [puffing and panting] >> Don: DEAR TV MAILBAG, ISN'T THERE SOME KIND OF LAW AGAINST THIS?

I, DON THE CAMERA GUY/ BELLBOY/PERSONAL ASSISTANT FOR THOSE TWO TV WEASELS WHO END UP GRABBING ALL THE GLORY ANYWAY.

WANT ME TO HOLD THAT COFFEE FOR YA?

>> Randy: YEAH, I NEED TO TURN A PAGE ON THE MAP.

>> Don: HERE WE ARE IN CANON CITY, JUST MILES FROM THAT GORGEOUS ROYAL GORGE, NOSING AROUND SOME NEIGHBORHOOD, CIRCLING THE BLOCK IN SEARCH OF A FLINTSTONE HOUSE THAT ONE OF THEM READ SOMETHING ABOUT SOME TIME AGO.

>> Mike: I THINK THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE.

>> Don: AND, WELL, RAPIDLY CONCLUDING IT WON'T PLAY MUCH OF A PART IN THIS TELEVISION PROGRAM.

>> Randy: YEAH, THAT'S IT.

>> Mike: WELL, YEAH.

>> Randy: WE DON'T TELL AMERICA THAT EVERYTHING WE FIND IS GONNA BE SENSATIONAL, DO WE?

>> Mike: IT'S GONNA GET BETTER, YOU PEOPLE AT HOME.

>> PRETTY MUCH GOT TO.

THERE'S YOUR DAMN MOUNTAIN SHOT.

>> Mike: TOO BAD THE WINDSHIELD'S NOT A LITTLE CLEANER.

>> DON, COULD YOU GET OUT AND TAKE CARE OF THAT TOO?

>> Don: WITH THOSE MAJESTIC ROCKIES LOOMING UP AHEAD, WE REVERSED COURSE AND HEADED FOR THE FLATLANDS, EATING CORVAIR DUST ALL THE WAY TO PUEBLO.

NOW, EVEN ON A SHOW LIKE THIS, WHICH LOOKS FOR CREATIVE FOLKS WITH SOMETHING UNUSUAL TO SAY, WHO KNEW WE'D FIND SUCH A PERFECT EXAMPLE RIGHT HERE, NEXT TO THE SANTA FE TRACKS?

POET AND PAINTER TONY PERNICIARO, A.K.A.

TONY THE BRICKLAYER, HAS BEEN A COLORADAN SINCE THE '70s.

BUT BEFORE THAT, HE LIVED AND WORKED IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORLD: NEW YORK CITY.

>> I GREW UP IN AN UNDERWORLD ENCLAVE--VERY, VERY HEAVY SICILIAN ENCLAVE.

♪ ♪ I WROTE A BOOK, PUBLISHED BY DELL.

>> Mike: YEAH, "I RAN AWAY FROM HOME AT 47."

>> Perniciaro: I WAS THE MOST FIRED, MOST INTIMIDATED, THE MOST INSULTED BRICKLAYER IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

I'D LIKE YOU TO ASK WHY.

>> Mike: I HAVE TO ASK WHY.

>> HUMILIATED-- DID I THROW THAT IN?

>> Mike: YES, YES.

>> Randy: I'VE BEEN THERE.

>> BECAUSE SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME SAID, EXPRESS TO THE BRICKLAYERS EVERYTHING THEY WERE TERRIFIED BY.

IF NATURE HAD A MIND, IT WOULD ALSO HAVE BEEN A LIAR LIKE ME.

ALL THAT I KNOW, THAT CHILDREN SHOULD KNOW, BECAUSE THIS IS CHILDREN'S WORK, THE WORK OF A GRANDPA LIAR.

THAT'S THE BEST I CAN BE.

>> Randy: WHEN DID YOU DO THESE?

>> Perniciaro: THESE WERE DONE WITHIN THE LAST FIVE YEARS, AND THIS IS ALL PAINT GARBAGE THAT PAINT STORES THROW OUT.

>> Randy: WHAT COMES FIRST, TONY, THE PAINTING OR THE PHRASES?

>> THEY MIX.

THAT'S THE ONLY TIME, YOU KNOW, THAT SPACE, PAINT, IDEAS, AND PRE-ALZHEIMER COME TOGETHER IN A MARRIAGE.

I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.

THAT'S THE BEAUTIFUL PART ABOUT IT--I LOST ALL MY MEMORY, EXCEPT THE LAST TIME I HAD LUNCH.

>> Randy: WHAT DID YOU HAVE?

>> I HAD LUNCH--I GOT TO GO TAKE MY ALZHEIMER MEDICINE.

I FORGOT.

[laughing] "EVERYBODY DIED, EVEN THE LIVING."

I DID THIS YESTERDAY.

>> Mike: "NOBODY EVER BELIEVED ME EXCEPT CHILDREN AND THE MAD.

IT'S A NICE DAY IF YOU DON'T LOOK."

>> Perniciaro: I TRY TO MAKE PAINTINGS OF EVERYTHING I THINK.

I DON'T KNOW; I THROW THESE OUT AT RANDOM.

>> Randy: I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE GOT HERE: "THE WORST CATASTROPHE IN HISTORY IS REPETITION."

>> DON'T ASK ME WHAT THAT MEANS.

THIS IS A THINKING PERSON.

HE HAS TO GET IN HUMANITY'S HEAD.

I HEAR PEOPLE THAT ARE CRYING TO GET OUT OF WHERE-- THE HEADS THEY'RE IN.

SOME TRY WITH BOOZE, SOME WITH RELIGION, SOME WITH EYEWASH.

I BELIEVE IN CAR WASH, BUT I DON'T DRIVE.

YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

CHILDREN DO.

THERE SHOULD BE 300 MILLION ARTISTS IN THIS COUNTRY.

AND LIKE LINCOLN SAID, "OPPRESSED PEOPLE-- IT'S A MUST FOR THEM TO REVOLT."

THOMAS JEFFERSON SAID WE SHOULD HAVE ONE AFTER EVERY COMMERCIAL.

>> [Randy and Mike laughing] >> WHEN YOU CAN MAKE HIM LAUGH, MAN-- >> Randy: YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.

>> Perniciaro: THAT'S A GOOD SIGN; I GOT MY EYES ON YOU GUYS.

>> Randy: HAS THIS BEEN A GOOD PLACE TO DO THE WORK?

>> Perniciaro: THIS HAS BEEN A SACRED PLACE, BECAUSE YOU'RE HATED, IGNORED, UNWANTED, AND IT'S ISOLATED.

SO I WORKED WITH AT-RISK CHILDREN HERE, AND TO ME, THEY GAVE ME THE STRENGTH AND THE DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE TO THE REST OF THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD.

P >> THE PAINTINGS KEEP COMING, BECAUSE TO BREATHE IS TO LAY A BRICK ON A TEMPLE YOU'LL NEVER LIVE IN.

[piano music] ♪ ♪ >> Don: NOW, TONY DOES HAVE A WAY OF LEAVING YOU SPEECHLESS, SO IT'S A GOOD THING WE HAD SOMETHING TO SHOW HIM.

BEING A BRICKLAYER, WE FIGURED HE COULD APPRECIATE HOW MUCH LABOR GOES INTO CREATING THE WORLD'S LARGEST BALL OF VIDEOTAPE, WHICH HE DID, AND THAT ALLOWED US TO TAKE A PIECE OF TONY WITH US BACK ON THE ROAD, A ROAD WHERE KITCHEN APPLIANCES GROW LARGER THAN I'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE.

BUT NOTICING THAT THE LENS MIGHT NEED A LITTLE CLEANING PROVED TO BE A BAD MOVE ON MY PART.

>> Randy: WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT DON?

>> WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THAT EXTRA 50 BUCKS A DAY?

>> Mike: YOU'RE UP TO THAT?

>> SPANKY MAGS, PROBABLY.

>> Don: NOW, IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE THOSE WIDE-OPEN SPACES OF EASTERN COLORADO GAVE WAY TO ONE OF THE FASTEST-GROWING CITIES IN ALL OF AMERICA.

COLORADO SPRINGS HAS THE AIR FORCE ACADEMY, THE GARDEN OF THE GODS, AND A YARD FULL OF WHAT MUST BE THE WORLD'S LARGEST SCULPTURES.

THESE WIND-BLOWN BABIES WERE THE WORK OF ONE MAN, STARR KEMPF, WHO ALSO BUILT THE HOUSE IN FRONT OF WHICH THEY STAND.

>> Lottie Kempf: HE STARTED OUT WHITTLING FIGURINES OUT OF WOOD AND--LITTLE BIRDS.

THEN HE STARTED TO DO SOME PAINTINGS AND SCULPTURE, AND HE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO A MONUMENTAL WIND SCULPTURE.

HE COULD DO SOMETHING VERY QUICKLY, 'CAUSE HE ALREADY KNEW.

GROWING UP ON THE FARM, HIS ANCESTORS WERE CLOCKMAKERS AND ARCHITECTS AND MECHANICS AND, YOU KNOW, CARPENTERS, SO HE GREW UP KNOWING HOW TO DO ALL THIS.

HE WOULD PUT IT ON THE DRAWING BOARD, LIKE PROBABLY ONE INCH TO A FOOT, CUT OUT A PAPER PATTERN, AND THEN CUT IT OUT IN STEEL, AND THEN WELD IT TOGETHER.

THE NEXT PROCESS WAS TO DRESS DOWN THE WELDS, OF COURSE.

HE ALWAYS DRESSED THEM DOWN VERY SMOOTHLY SO YOU COULDN'T EVEN SEE A WELD.

HE STARTED WITH THE SMALLER ONE UP BY THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE NEAR THE KITCHEN, CALLED THE CHARGER, AND THEN THE WINDMILL-LIKE ONE I BELIEVE WAS HIS SECOND ONE, CALLED SPIRIT OF THE WIND.

THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A WEATHER VANE IS THE SPACE NEEDLE.

>> Don: ONE OF KEMPF'S PIECES ALSO CATCHES THE BREEZE DOWNTOWN, BUT THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE COMING AROUND THE CORNER AND SEEING THE WHOLE HERD IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.

>> THE MOUNTAINS IS WHAT INSPIRED HIM TO DO HIS ARTWORK.

HE LOVED THE ROCKS AND TREES AND MOUNTAINS, AND SO EVERYTHING IN NATURE INSPIRED HIM, AND THAT'S WHY HE CHOSE THIS PIECE OF PROPERTY.

HE LOVED THE FACT THAT THE SCULPTURES HAD THE BACKDROP OF CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN WITH NO OTHER HOUSES BEHIND IT.

>> Don: NOW, WATCHING THESE GUYS DRIVE IN CIRCLES IS ACTUALLY KIND OF AMUSING, BUT NOT VERY GOOD TV, SO I FEEL A POSTCARD COMING.

GUESS WHERE WE'LL BE TOMORROW.

>> Randy: LOOK LEFT, LOOK RIGHT.

>> Mike: LOOK LEFT, LOOK RIGHT.

>> Randy: HOW LOST DO YOU THINK I CAN GET IN DENVER?

>> Mike: OH, I THINK YOU CAN GET PRETTY LOST HERE.

IT'S JUST MY GUESS.

WE NEED TO DO SOME LAUNDRY WHILE WE'RE HERE.

YOU KNOW, JUST ON THAT OFF CHANCE, I GOTAN OLD FRIEND WHO LIVES HERE.

HELLO, ROBIN?

IT'S MIKE.

NO, NO, IT'S MIKE FROM SEVENTH GRADE; DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME?

YOU GOT A HOUSE HERE?

>> Don: OH, OH, LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER WEASEL MOMENT IN THE MAKING.

I'LL KEEP ROLLING FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES.

>> Mike: HEY, YOU MIND IF WE DROP IN AND TAKE A LOOK?

>> EXCELLENT.

THAT'S GOOD.

>> COULD I JUST HAVE A TOUCH TOO?

A LITTLE WARMUP?

>> SURE, WHATEVER.

ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET FOR YOU?

>> IS THERE ANY FOOD?

>> LIKE, THAT WOULD BE GOOD.

>> LOOKS LIKE CONDIMENT HEAVEN TO ME.

>> DELICATE OR KNIT?

DO YOU WANT THIS FOLDED?

>> HEY, ROBIN, CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?

OH, WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING THAT IN THE CAR?

I STEPPED IN SOME DOG POO.

COULD YOU GET ME A RAG OR SOMETHING?

>> [Robin laughing] >> OH, NO, PUT THE BALL-- >> Randy: THE BALL COMES IN FIRST.

ROBIN, YOU'RE TOO GOOD.

YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO US.

>> OH, ROBIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> Don: BLESS HER HEART, ROBIN DID SURVIVE HER RODENT INFESTATION, BUT AS FOR ME, THE HEAT IS ON AGAIN, LITERALLY, AS WE SCOOT ACROSS THE MILE-HIGH CITY, NOW IN SEARCH OF A HOUSE WE'VE BEEN TOLD IS BRIMMING OVER WITH BEAUCOUP BIRDHOUSES.

>> Randy: IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE GUY IN HOUSTON.

>> Mike: A LOT LIKE THE MAN IN HOUSTON.

>> Don: NOW THAT WE'VE FOUND IT, WE'RE OOHING AND AHHING, BUT, AS USUAL, MOVING RIGHT ON BECAUSE, AS USUAL, THERE'S NO TIME TO SPARE.

SEEMS THESE PRODUCERS ARE HOT FOR POTS-- BILL POTTS, THAT IS, A CARVER WHO LIVES OUT BY THE AIRPORT.

'GATORS AND FISH AND EVEN SAX-PLAYING PRESIDENTS JUST KEEP COMING FROM THE TINY GARAGE WHERE BILL'S LIFE-LONG LOVE OF WORKING WITH HIS HANDS HAS TURNED INTO A FULL-TIME OCCUPATION.

[machine noise] >> WELL, YOU LOOK AT THE BULLETIN BOARD, AND THERE'S BILLS FROM YOUR CREDITOR AND-- [chuckles] MOTIVATION?

HMM?

PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS ARTWORK?"

IT'S SIMPLE WHEN YOU'RE POOR.

WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE NEXT?

IMAGINATION.

SEE, I GET--PEOPLE DONATE ME WOOD, 4x4s--WHEN THE WIND COMES THROUGH, BLOWS FENCES DOWN.

OLD FENCE POSTS ARE EASY TO WORK WITH.

NOW, I CAN DO ONE BIG PIECE OF WOOD, BUT WHAT ARE THE PROSPECTS OF FINDING A BIG PIECE OF WOOD?

PLUS I TRY TO KEEP MY OVERHEAD DOWN.

AND I USE SCARY TOOLS SOMETIME.

I USE MEAT CLEAVERS.

>> Randy: IS MUSIC A VITAL PART OF WHAT YOU DO?

>> DEFINITELY.

LIKE SOMETIME-- LIKE, I LIKE A LOT OF LATIN MUSIC; IT'S THAT RHYTHM.

IT MAKES YOU FEEL-- UH, WHAT'S THE WORD?

NOT ANGELIC, BUT...AGILE.

CHARLIE "BIRD" PARKER.

HE'S KIND OF THE MOZART OF JAZZ, ALL RIGHT?

B.B.

KING, HE'S EVERYBODY'S SWEETHEART OF MUSIC AND STUFF.

>> Randy: AND HE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE YOU IN THIS VERSION, DOESN'T HE?

>> NO-- >> DON'T I SEE A LITTLE OF BILL POTTS IN THIS B.B.

KING?

>> I'VE HAD SO MANY PEOPLE TELL ME, SAID, "BILL, DO YOU KNOW THAT IN A LOT OF YOUR WORK, YOU SEE HOW YOUR FOREHEAD IS?

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE PUTTING YOU IN THERE."

I SAID, "MAYBE; I DON'T KNOW."

IT'S A GOOD THING I CAN DO THIS.

IT'S NOT WHAT WE CALL REAL LUCRATIVE, BUT WHAT THE HECK?

ONE TIME, I WAS AT A ART SHOW, AND THIS LADY SAYS, "I DON'T LIKE FOLK ART.

IT'S BLAND, IT'S NOT DYNAMIC, AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT ARTISTS DO WHEN THEY CAN'T MAKE IT IN THEIR REGULAR MEDIUM."

AND I WAS STANDING THERE, AND I SAID, "MM-HMM.

I WISH YOU COULD WORK FOR ME FOR ABOUT A WEEK, HITTING MY THUMBS, SPLINTERS, KNOCKING CANS OF PAINT OVER, MAKING MISTAKES, FRUSTRATION, ALL OF THAT."

A LOT OF TIMES, YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR WORK AND GO BAM!

YOU KNOW, BUT MOST ARTISTS GOES THROUGH THAT, I THINK.

>> Don: BILL'S SKILLS DO BRING TO MIND SOME OLD-TIMER WHITTLING AWAY IN SOME OLD MOUNTAIN TOWN, BUT HE SAYS HE'S HAPPY HERE IN DENVER.

AND DENVER'S JUST CLOSE ENOUGH TO BOULDER THAT WE'VE DECIDED TO CRAM IN ONE MORE STOP BEFORE THE DAY IS DONE.

AS USUAL, DETAILS ARE SKETCHY-- JUST THAT IT'S A YARD, AND WE'LL KNOW IT WHEN WE SEE IT.

>> IT'S NOT YOUR EVERYDAY, ORDINARY YARD.

I'VE GOT A LOT OF STORAGE PROBLEMS, AND SO I STORE MY THINGS IN THE FRONT YARD.

SO HERE THEY ARE.

I CAN'T PUT THEM ALL IN MY HOUSE.

I'VE GOT SO MUCH STUFF IN MY HOUSE ALREADY.

THEY'RE JUST KIND OF BLESSING THE YARD AND THE GARDEN AND PROTECTING THE HOUSE AND, YOU KNOW, JUST THE ORDINARY, YOU KNOW, GODDESS TYPE OF DUTIES.

OH, IT'S--THEY'RE JUST GOING TO START FILMING THE WHOLE TIME.

I HAD A FRIEND WHO HAD BOXES AND BOXES OF RIVETS, AND TO HELP HIM SOLVE HIS RIVET PROBLEM, I BOUGHT SOME BOXES OF RIVETS FOR A VERY HANDSOME PRICE.

>> Randy: THE RIVETS SHOW UP, AND, "WOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW."

>> YES, DEFINITELY.

I GET INSPIRED BY SOMETHING, AND THEN I WORK THROUGH THAT FOR A WHILE, AND WHEN I GET TIRED OF IT, I WORK WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

I USED TO WORK IN CLAY FOR A LONG TIME AND GOT TIRED OF CLAY, SO I LEARNED HOW TO WELD.

I TOOK A TRIP TO NEPAL, AND SO I GOT INVOLVED WITH LOOKING AT THE GODDESS THING WITH LOTS OF ARMS.

AFTER I WENT TO NEBRASKA, WHICH IS A LOVELY STATE, THEY'VE GOT THIS HUGE MIGRATION THAT COMES THROUGH THERE OF SANDHILL CRANES.

THEY DON'T REALLY LOOK LIKE SANDHILL CRANES, BUT-- WELL, THIS IS A MUFFLER PART, AND THIS IS A TANK--ACETYLENE OR OXYGEN OR SOME KIND OF TANK.

AND THIS IS JUST SHEET METAL, AND THAT'S A WHEEL FROM A CAR.

>> Mike: EXCUSE ME; I'M SCRATCHING HERE.

>> [laughing] HE'S SCRATCHING HIMSELF.

>> Randy: YEAH, AND THAT WAS THE OTHER THING YOU HAD IN MIND WHEN YOU PUT THIS HERE, WASN'T IT?

>> YEAH, IT WAS A CAT SCRATCHING A HUMAN FOREARM.

>> Randy: A CAMERA GUY'S SCRATCHING POST.

IS THIS BUMPER ABOUT TO BE SOMETHING?

>> Smock: I JUST FOUND THIS IN THE DUMPSTER THE OTHER DAY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY NICE.

DO YOU LIKE IT?

>> Randy: OH, MY GOODNESS.

>> Smock: I PICKED IT UP.

COME ON, RANDY, YOU CAN DO IT.

[laughing] >> Randy: IT'S LIVING ART.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

>> Mike: IT'S REALLY NICE, BUT THE DOG GETS VERY TIRED OF STANDING THERE.

>> Don: OF COURSE, CHRISTINE WOULD LIKE TO SEE HER ART IN OTHER PEOPLE'S YARDS AS WELL.

SHE'S EVEN WORKING WITH THE CITY ON A MURAL AND SKUNK-SPRAYING FOUNTAIN AND SEEMS TO BE EYEING OUR ALL-TOO-NAKED BUMPER WITH CONSIDERABLE GLEE.

>> Smock: I EXPECT TO SEE THIS ON THE FRONT OF THE CAR IN THE NEXT EPISODE.

>> Randy: OR THERE'LL BE HECK TO PAY.

>> Randy: IS THAT A RITUAL BLOOD-LETTING THAT MAKES THE SHOW GO BETTER?

>> Mike: IT IS MY MORNING SHAVE AND BLOOD-LETTING.

>> Don: SPEAKING OF CARNAGE, IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THE CAFETERIA HERE AT C.U.

IS NAMED FOR ALFRED PACKER, THE ONLY AMERICAN EVER CONVICTED OF CANNIBALISM, WHICH WE WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU, BUT, ONCE AGAIN, RANDY'S TAKEN TO DRIVING AIMLESSLY AROUND THIS BEAUTIFUL CAMPUS.

>> Don: OH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL.

NOW, BOULDER IS KNOWN AS THE KIND OF PLACE WHERE OUT-OF-THE-ORDINARY IS PRETTY MUCH PAR FOR THE COURSE.

TAKE JENNIFER HEATH, FOR EXAMPLE.

A FEW YEARS BACK, SHE COAXED SOME OF HER MOST ARTISTIC FRIENDS INTO PAINTING WORKS ON BLACK VELVET TO SHOW AND PUBLISH IN A BOOK, REASON ENOUGH FOR US TO DROP BY FOR COFFEE AND A SCHMOOZE.

>> I REALLY HAVE TO SEE THIS SHOW.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE GONNA--THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY SHOOTING PEOPLE COMING OUT OF THE STAIRWAY.

>> Don: ANOTHER THING YOU WON'T BELIEVE IS, THE CAMERA GUY'S THE NARRATOR.

>> Mike: THAT'S RIGHT.

[laughing] I OPEN IT UP, AND I'M READING THE SCHOLARLY INTRO HERE.

AND THERE'S ACTUALLY A BIG HISTORY TO BLACK-VELVET PAINTING; WHO'D OF THUNK?

>> VELVET PAINTING HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A VERY, VERY-- AS LONG AS THERE'S BEEN VELVET, PEOPLE HAVE PAINTED ON IT.

AND THE FACT THAT IT'S VELVET GIVES IT A MYSTERY AND A LUSCIOUSNESS AND A, YOU KNOW, KIND OF LUMINOSITY THAT I THINK LENDS ITSELF TO OUR IDEAS OF WHAT SPIRITUAL ICONS SHOULD LOOK LIKE, YOU KNOW.

>> Randy: WASN'T THAT WHY ELVIS WAS SO OFTEN SHOWN ON BLACK VELVET?

>> Heath: SURE, ELVIS IS BOTH HEROIC AND KIND OF A RELIGIOUS-- BUT MOSTLY FOR GRINGOS, NOT SO MUCH FOR MEXICANS AT ALL.

THERE'S JOHN WAYNE AND GERONIMO, AND THEN THERE'S THE HEROIC/SPIRITUAL ASPECT OF VELVET, WHERE YOU HAVE JESUS AND THE VIRGIN MARY AND SOMETIMES SAINTS.

THE LAST SUPPER, OF COURSE, WAS BIG.

AND THOSE ARE ACTUALLY-- I MEAN, THEY SEEM LAUGHABLE, PROBABLY, TO YOU, BUT THEY ACTUALLY ARE OFTEN USED IN PEOPLE'S HOMES AND TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

>> WE WERE ABLE TO PICK THIS UP HERE IN GENOA, AND I WAS STRUCK BY THE SORT OF MEDIEVAL, HIPPIE IMAGERY HERE.

>> Heath: [laughing] THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST PAINTINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

>> Randy: WELL, IT KIND OF CAUGHT OUR EYE.

>> I'M GONNA BET THIS HAD A COMPANION, A BOY.

>> Mike: PROBABLY.

>> Heath: I'LL BET YOU.

>> Mike: BUT WE COULDN'T AFFORD THE BOY BECAUSE IT'S A PUBLIC TV SHOW.

REALLY, THE TEN BUCKS WE PUT OUT FOR THIS WAS ABOUT WHAT WE COULD AFFORD.

>> I GOT HIM DOWN TO SIX.

GOT HIM DOWN TO SIX.

>> Don: JENNIFER THINKS WE SHOULD HEAD SOUTH TO GOLDEN AND SEE THE MOTHER CABRINI SHRINE.

BUT CONSIDERING IT'S HALFWAY UP A VERY BIG MOUNTAIN, I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED THAT WE'RE HEADED NORTH INSTEAD.

NOW, REGULAR VIEWERS OF THIS PROGRAM--AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE--MAY REALIZE TWO THINGS: ONE, MIKE LOVES TO FIND LADY LIBERTIES; AND TWO, WE ALL LIKE TO PLAY A LITTLE CATCH.

AND BOTH BECAME POSSIBLE HERE ON THE SHORE OF LOVELAND LAKE WHILE A RAGING FIRE BURNED ACROSS THE WAY.

>> Don: SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU GUYS?

WANT TO BURN A FEW IN?

>> Randy: WE'VE NEVER PLAYED CATCH IN COLORADO.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT?

>> BUT WE'VE BEEN PLAYING CATCH-UP EVER SINCE WE GOT HERE.

>> Don: GIDDY WITH MOUNTAIN AIR, WE THREW A FEW AND THEN HEADED FOR THE ZOO--THE SWETSVILLE ZOO, THAT IS, NESTLED IN THE POUDRE RIVER VALLEY JUST OUTSIDE FORT COLLINS.

>> Mike: MORE STUFF THAN YOU COULD SHAKE A STICK AT.

>> Don: IT'S NAMED FOR BILL SWETS, A DAIRY FARMER WHO'S COVERED THREE ACRES WITH METALLIC WHIMSY SINCE FIRST GETTING THE URGE BACK IN 1985.

>> Randy: IS IT PLAYING?

>> YEAH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A HOBBY.

IT SURE AIN'T A BUSINESS, 'CAUSE IT'S NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.

>> WHO IS THIS GUY?

>> THAT'S WILLY THE WELDER.

THAT'S A SELF-PORTRAIT.

>> REALLY.

>> DOESN'T THAT LOOK ABOUT RIGHT?

>> Randy: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE >> WHEN PEOPLE STARTED STOPPING AND LOOKING AT IT.

I JUST HAD A FEW OF THEM IN MY FRONT YARD, AND PEOPLE STARTED LOOKING AT THEM, AND IT JUST GREW.

I'D NEVER DONE ANY ARTWORK TILL '85, WHEN I STARTED.

>> Don: YOU DON'T LOOK 85.

COME ON.

>> WELL, YOU'VE GOT A MOWER GUARD RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS A CULTIVATOR SHOVEL.

THESE ARE GEARS OUT OF THE BACK END OF A CAR, PUSHRODS.

THOSE ARE DISCS OFF A DISC HARROW.

THEY'RE SET UP IN A GANG EIGHT INCHES APART.

WE'VE GOT A MOTORCYCLE GAS TANK HERE.

THIS IS SOURDOUGH PETE.

CAN'T YOU SEE THE TOBACCO JUICE JUST DRIPPING OFF OF THERE?

THIS IS CALLED DREAMING AND REALITY.

THERE'S DREAMING.

>> RIGHT.

>> AND HERE'S REALITY.

>> SO DO YOU GET AN IDEA AND SKETCH IT OUT, OR YOU JUST START-- >> NO, CAN'T DRAW NOTHIN'.

>> CAN'T DRAW A LICK, HUH?

>> Swets: NO.

THEY'RE ALL BUILT IN MY HEAD BEFORE I EVEN START.

>> Randy: AND HOW MANY PEOPLE RUN AROUND HERE ON A GIVEN DAY?

>> Swets: WE HAVE FROM 15,000 TO 20,000 A YEAR.

>> Mike: PEOPLE JUST PULL OFF THE HIGHWAY-- >> Swets: IT'S A ZOO AROUND HERE MOST OF THE TIME.

I GOT A TYRANNOSAURUS REX OUT HERE THAT'S GOT FOUR FINGERS ON HIM; HE'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWO.

GOLLY, DID I EVER GET RIPPED UP ON THAT.

THE DOGGONE KIDS'LL CATCH IT.

[gonging] >> Mike: IT'S WORKING.

IT'S WORKING; I'M GOING NUTS.

[low note] >> Randy: WHAT'S THE BAND?

WHO'S PLAYING TONIGHT?

>> Swets: THEY'RE CALLED 2 1/2.

THEY PLAY THIS NEW KIND OF MUSIC, THIS HEAVY METAL JUNK.

[metallic clunking] A LITTLE TINNY SOUNDING, ISN'T IT?

>> THESE ARE PRETTY TRENDY FELLAS.

I GUESS THEY'RE FELLAS.

>> Swets: I WOULDN'T CALL THAT GAL A FELLA.

>> Mike: ONCE YOU'RE DONE WITH ONE, YOU'RE DONE WITH IT.

>> Swets: I'M DONE WITH IT.

I'M OFF TO SOMETHING ELSE.

THIS IS MY LAST ONE.

THIS IS FLOOR SWEEPINGS.

ANYTHING THAT WAS LEFT ON THE SHOP FLOOR, I USED IT.

>> BILL'S WORK--IT'S FANTASTIC.

IT'S VERY, VERY INCREDIBLE, WHAT HE DOES, AND HE ALSO IS VERY GOOD TO PEOPLE.

>> Don: AMONG THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE LANI HERSELF, OWNER OF THE CHROME ROSE GALLERY, WHICH SITS HERE ON THE ZOO GROUNDS TOO, GIVING HER THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO MIX ARTISTIC IDEAS WITH THOSE GOOD GRADES SHE GOT IN WELDING SCHOOL.

>> LOOK AT THAT: A 4.0.

WE'VE NEVER MET ANYBODY WHO DID THAT WELL AT ANYTHING.

>> I USE THE NATURAL CURVE OF THE BUMPERS--WHATEVER WAS ALREADY FABRICATED IN THE BUMPERS.

I DON'T BEND THEM OR DO ANYTHING TO THEM.

IF THEY'RE BENT ALREADY, LIKE IN A JUNKYARD, I CAN USE SOMETIMES SOME OF THE CRACKS AND BENDS IN THAT.

THIS IS BUMPER BOVINE.

THAT'S A 1999 BEATLE.

THIS IS A MONARCH BUMPER FLY.

I USUALLY JUST FABRICATE EVERYTHING FROM BUMPERS.

I LIKE THE SHINE, AND THEY'RE KIND OF A THING OF THE PAST.

>> Randy: IS THAT WHAT'S BEEN BITING DON?

>> Mike: IS IT A MIDGE FLY?

>> Don: I GOT LITTLE BUMPERS ON MY ARMS.

>> Randy: THIS IS A GOOD ONE TOO.

>> GATES ARE KIND OF COOL, AND THEY WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE PRACTICAL, SEE.

>> Mike: SURE.

PEOPLE WOULD TAKE THAT HOME, PUT IT RIGHT ON THEIR FENCE.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Don: IN FACT, FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT THE CHRYSLER MIGHT BE GETTING A NEW TAILGATE, BUT COOLER HEADS PREVAILED.

OR DID THEY?

>> CAN YOU WELD SOME OF THIS BACK ON FOR US?

>> HERE WE GO.

>> Don: DON'T ASK ME.

I JUST WORK HERE.

AND I AM DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

>> Andrews: I COULDN'T TELL YOU WHAT BUMPER THAT WOULD BE, OFFHAND.

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

>> THAT'S A 1986 VEGA, I THINK.

Captioning provided by KCPT Television.

Captioning byCaptionMax www.captionmax.com >> 1972?

[welder sizzling] >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Randy: YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> Mike: THAT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE BIG FOR YOU, BUT YOU CAN WEAR IT AS A NIGHTSHIRT.

WE ONLY HAVE ONE SIZE.

>> Randy: AND THEN SEND PICTURES.

IT ISN'T GONNA NEED ANY, LIKE, RECUPERATION TIME OR ANYTHING, IS IT?

>> Swets: NO.

>> Randy: LET'S TAKE HIM WITH US.

[laughing] >> IT'S LIKE A PET ROCK, ONLY HEAVIER.

>> Mike: YOU GUYS ARE BRILLIANT.

>> YOU GUYS ARE SO BRILLIANT.

AND GOOD-LOOKING TOO.

AND NUTTIER THAN FRUITCAKES.

>> announcer: PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.