- Marvez.

M-A-R-V-E-Z.

My name is Raquel M-A-R-V-E-Z.

[chuckles] Marvez, like T-H. [laughs] I love my career because it's part of who I am, but my husband and I also value family.

And right now, I really don't see how I can have both the career I love and become a mom.

I want to see if I can learn from the women of my ancestry how they did it, how they balanced both.

My name is Raquel Marvez, and this is my Generations Project.

♪♪ [airplane whoosh] [indistinct PA announcement] John F. Kennedy: [recorded] Let the word go forth from this time and place that the torch has been passed to a new generation.

Woman 1: I really never thought that finding out about your ancestry could change you the way it's changed me.

♪♪ ♪♪ Raquel: Growing up, my mother always told me even if you like sweeping the floor, um, be the best.

Whatever I do, I put all my effort.

My career, it's so important to me because it's part of me.

It's Raquel.

And Raquel is a journalist, and I cannot just detach from that.

♪♪ The word "children."

[sighs] Ay.

♪♪ [quiet sob] [emotionally] This is how I feel.

♪♪ I don't know.

I think I don't have a chip that women have to have that maternal instinct, but I know it is important as well.

When I think about children, it makes me this-- it makes me confused, it makes me think about when-- how can I do all of this as a woman.

I admire all of those who can do both, and I wonder if that could be ever my case, because I’m afraid.

I’m very, very afraid of having children.

I’m afraid of giving up my career.

I’m afraid of changing who I am.

I want to change that if I can because I believe in family, and that's important for both of us.

♪♪ Man 1: I think personally Raquel does want children, she's just not sure whether she's willing to make the sacrifice to have the children, so it's very difficult for us to find a middle ground, you know.

And it is a difficult thing for women, you know.

I appreciate the fact that it is hard for them in order to be able to find time to kind of be full-time with the child but also do her professional things as well.

Like, can it be done?

I don't really know.

Raquel: At the end of the Generations Project, I need to have an answer to give to Nathan, and say yes I’m willing to have children.

I c-- I can work on it.

Or not.

This is not going to work, and we may...

I don't know, what do we do?

I mean, what do we do?

I always believed that my grandmother--La Yaya, and my grandfather were my grandparents, and Covi, my great aunt, who helped take care of everyone including my mom.

But not that long ago, I discovered that my mother was given up as a baby and-- to La Yaya and that her biological mother was actually not La Yaya, but her friend, Juli.

And I want to know more.

How something like this can happen within my family.

And for that, I definitely need to go to Spain.

♪♪ ♪♪ Usually I come once a year if I can.

[laughs] I’m going to see my mom, and that's where I am right now, on my way.

I have a lot of questions to ask her.

It is important to have this conversation with my mom and to come here to Spain, because my mom grew up not knowing who her father is, and just with this woman who my mother considered her mother.

This topic, I mean, it didn't even exist, the topic.

I didn't even know it until I was 23.

It was a secret.

Finding out the motivations of my grandmother, Juli, why she gave up my mom, I think that will help me to, to know if it's really worth it to have a baby, because she had my mom.

She gave her away, and my mom was not happy.

♪♪ [laughing] ♪♪ [greetings] [greetings] María: [sniffs] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Raquel: I love my mother a lot, and, and to see her crying, that makes me to want even more to find answers to her questions and my questions.

Having this conversation with my mother didn't give me a clear answer of, you know, if I should be a mom or not.

That I don't know.

What I know is that she didn't regret it, and that maybe, you know, if I take this step, I wouldn't regret it.

But circumstances are very different because her life is not my life, and so I need to know more.

If I find out that my grandmother, Juli, gave up my mom for a career, I would be mad, because I have seen my mom suffering, crying.

I don't want to tell my child one day the same.

"I love you, but I had better things to do."

So La Yaya passed away this last year, and I hope that Covi can give me some information about why Juli gave my mother away.

I’m so excited to see Covi because she's, like, my grandmother.

- [speaking Spanish] Raquel: [speaking Spanish] [laughing] [speaking Spanish] - [speaking Spanish] - Gracias.

[speaking Spanish] Covi: [speaking Spanish] Raquel: [laughing] - [speaking Spanish] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ - I feel grateful for Covi.

I know Covi did everything in her hands for my mom, and for that I’m grateful.

I feel sad thinking that Juli never had a sincere "mom, I love you."

I’m so confused.

So far, I don't see how I can have a career and be a mother at the same time, no idea.

My mother definitely, she chose motherhood.

And Juli so far, as I understand, she chose her career, a job.

So, so far, this is not giving me a clear answer if I can do both or not.

I just learned about Aurora, Juli's mother, and I would love to know more about her, because she lived during the Spanish Civil War, so I’m excited to meet a historian, Antonio Morcillo Lopez, who would tell me what was the experience of Aurora during the civil war.

♪♪ ♪♪ Raquel: So Antonio suggested that I meet with Vincent, a historian in Nules that can give me more information of what possibly happened to Aurora when she got to Nules.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Now, now I can imagine Juli.

Now I can see, or at least I know what she saw.

I really don't know what was the specific circumstance, but I know my great-grandmother Aurora died in that trying, trying to survive.

And I can see her running with her baby in her arms, trying to escape.

Wow.

♪♪ ♪♪ I feel empowered now.

Poor Nathan when I get back.

[laughing] He's going to be, "Oh great," [laughs] "even more!"

I love my career because it's part of who I am.

But my husband and I also value family, and right now I really don't see how I can have both the career I love and become a mom.

[birds chirping] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ He was, like, what, what is this?

What, this?

What, this?

Wh-- And you want to find out about your family history?

With this, you're going to find nothing.

So I said, thank you very much, and I’ve got to go.

I-- [chuckles] I don't have time to waste.

So let's go.

♪♪ I tracked down Luis López Pombo, a genealogist in Lugo, who's gonna help me to find more information about my family history in Galicia.

♪♪ I cannot believe all these names that I have here in front of me.

All these women that lived here in Galicia.

I want to learn from these women.

Hopefully there is something there that I can apply into my life, and that can answer my question in how I can be successful in my career and as a mother.

What I know of her, about Galicia, is that women are pretty strong.

They have a strong character.

And they are hard workers.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [laughing] They didn't do everything by themselves.

They taught the family how to do it.

Children helped, and all the family was very united in doing that, and the wo-- the women were a very-- were a key part of that, of that society.

I feel that to be a Gallega is very hard, very, very hard.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Thanks to María, I learned that Gallega women were, since ancient times, very strong women who handled everything and more.

But they didn't handle everything perfectly by themselves.

They always created an environment in which they could handle everything.

They definitely had a social support system with family, with neighbors, friends, that help each other.

A Gallega woman is a woman that leads.

She works together with her husband.

I love that.

Because that's exactly what I want to do.

I not only want to support Nathan, I want to work with Nathan, that we both can achieve something together.

I feel empowered now.

Poor Nathan when I get back.

[laughs] He's going to be, "Oh great," [laughs] "even more."

♪♪ ♪♪ Nathan: Do you now want to have children, or do you have an answer to your question?

- After my journey, yes, I am willing to do everything in my hand to be able to overcome my fears.

I also want to see how, how I can handle both, and that's the key thing that I learned that the question was not how me, as a woman, I can handle both, but the question was more how we, as a couple, as a marriage can handle both.

Something very interesting that, that a woman told me is that that conception of women believing that we can handle everything, that I can work, and I can fulfill my goals in my job, as well as my family, and everything, and I can do that perfectly, that's a mistake.

That women from Galicia, they were able to do it because they created a family, a social support system where they were able to, to do that.

They had the support of the neighbors.

They worked together to make that happen.

You know, I open my eyes even more saying no, it's not all about me, it's about us.

Like, how can we both take that example and apply it into our lives.

And I’m saying, I’m saying, look at me, I’m saying yes to that.

I’m saying okay, I, it's-- I’m having a really hard time even saying, yeah I’m willing to start opening the door, and that is going to be a huge-- ♪♪ [sobs] - Hey, it's okay.

- So I just, I cannot do it myself.

I can't.

[sniffs] - I definitely believe it's something that we're supposed to do together and that I’m completely gonna do whatever I can to support you so that we can both have a family, we can both work.

It will be alright, you'll see.

♪♪ - I love you.

- I love you too.

- [laughs] ♪♪