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- This is One-On-One.

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- A quartet is already a jawn, it'’s just The New Jawn.

- January 6th was not some sort of violent, crazy outlier.

- I don't care how good you are or how good you think you are, there is always something to learn.

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- That's a good question, high five.

(upbeat music) - Hi, Steve Adubato.

I wanna welcome you to a very special edition of "One-on-One."

Listen, we do go on location at times, particularly when the issue is so important.

And the issue of opioid addiction is incredibly important.

We were down at Rutgers University in New Brunswick and had a conversation with former NFL great, Ray Lucas.

This was the Knockout Opioid Abuse Initiative at Rutgers University in New Brunswick.

There were about 500 students.

Some of them were athletes.

Many of them were students who care deeply about this issue, who wanted to learn more about it.

Some of them are struggling with this issue of opioid abuse.

And Ray Lucas, not just a former NFL player, but someone who was deeply addicted and talked openly, candidly, brutally honest, with these students.

He broke through.

And I'm confident he'll break through with you in this very important half hour with Ray Lucas down at Rutgers University.

Check it out.

Put your hands together for the great Ray Lucas.

(audience cheering) - Thank you, Steve.

- [Steve] Thank you.

- Thank you.

- [Steve] Right here, buddy.

(Ray clears his throat) - Hey guys.

- [Steve] You loved sports as a kid.

- Yes.

- [Steve] Played what?

- Every sport.

Basketball, baseball, football.

Everything.

- You ever think ever as a kid about injuries?

- No.

- First injury?

- Strong people don't get injured.

- What's that?

- Strong people don't get injured.

Prepared people don't get injured.

That's how we were taught when I was young.

- So when was the first injury?

- First injury was in high school.

I sprained an ankle, which was not a big deal.

You know what I'm saying?

- That at Harrison?

- Yeah, Harrison High School.

- Harrison High.

- Yeah, yeah.

Went up for a ball in practice, came down, rolled the damn thing.

I had a high ankle sprain and broke my little bone in my leg.

But I was out there on Saturday.

- [Steve] No?

- Yeah.

Hell, yeah, absolutely.

- You see, I was a place kicker, so a hamstring would've kept me out.

So you just went back out there and played?

- My teammates depend on me.

So in that heat of the moment, in that time that we put in all that work during the week, like I can't let them down on Saturday.

So here's one of my points, okay?

When you're in high school, okay?

It's the body of work.

Colleges are gonna come.

If you're hurt, don't play in a game where you're hurt.

Don't make the same mistakes I made.

You know what I'm saying?

So for me, it's a body of work, okay?

They're not coming to look at one game.

They're going back to your freshman year.

They're gonna look at everything you do.

So get healthy, then come back out, and then you light it on fire.

You at half mast or half strength, or 80% instead of 100% hurts your teammates.

Be courageous.

Say, "I'm out this week."

So that they can rise and maybe excel in their spot.

You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah, let's stay on that a little bit.

So the whole idea of quote, unquote, "playing hurt," being tough, even with professional athletes, you'll hear sometimes commentators, - Yeah.

- some of whom have never played the game, he, she, they should play because it's a big game.

So they're not 100%.

- Right.

- I know it depends, and it's case by case, but do you think there's too much, even today, - Absolutely.

- that there's too much pressure to get on the court, to be on the field?

And to do that, certain things are done, including some prescription painkillers that get that person out there.

- I think it's absolutely correct.

I mean, it's not just the coaches, it's the parents, it's everyone, you know?

I mean, it's your teammates.

Man, "You gotta go this week, man.

"You have to go.

We need you.

"We don't have no shot to win if you're not on the field."

That's all crap.

What you need to do is worry about your health.

Because if you're taking a pill to play a sport, I'm here to tell you, okay?

It's not gonna be good.

All right?

So here's my first story.

I'm in the NFL, all right?

I had a, well, Steve asked me before, when I went to Rutgers, I tore my rotator cuff.

- [Steve] What year?

- My junior year.

We were two games left in the season.

I can't sit, man.

I gotta stand up.

So I'm playing the Miami Hurricanes, right?

Warren Sapp, Ray Lewis, they were talking to me.

And I'm a Jersey boy so, you know, I like to talk.

I like to get into it, you know what I'm saying?

I'm very competitive.

If I lose a game of checkers, the board's probably gonna fly across the room with the chips on it, okay?

We can play anything.

Chess, checkers, I'm good with everything, okay?

But here's the thing, when I first got to the NFL, I wasn't a quarterback.

I was a wide receiver and special teamer.

Not a lot of people don't know that.

My first two years in the league, I didn't even play quarterback.

So back in the day, I'm running down on kickoff, okay?

There was this thing, they call it the wedge, okay?

You guys are too young.

You probably never seen it before.

But all the big fatties like the linemen would come in, and I mean that as a term of endearment to my linemen, okay?

- [Steve] Big fatties is a term of endearment?

- That's a term of endearment.

Don't take it personal, okay?

They get a wall, and then the two guys that catch the ball run behind it.

So here I am sprinting down the field.

And I'm looking right and left and I'm like, "Oh, shtuff."

Whoo, that was close.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be, my first language is profanity, my second language is English, I apologize.

(audience chuckling) So coming down on kickoff and I see the wedge form.

And I peek right, peek left, I'm like, "Damn, I'm out front."

And for one second, I actually thought about it, slowing down.

And then, my Jersey kicked in, and then I just went the opposite way.

I run into this wall.

Boom!

I'm on the ground.

Got like a metal taste in my mouth.

So I'm breathing, I know that.

I'm looking down at myself.

I'm like, "Damn, what the hell just happened?"

I had no idea where I was.

I didn't know what I was doing.

So I saw a bunch of guys get into a huddle.

So I walked over there and got in the huddle.

So here I am.

I just looked at my jersey.

I said, "Man, I'm in the damn offensive "ring base huddle, offensive huddle."

I didn't know where I was.

I just went into their offensive huddle.

I had no idea where I was.

So I get to the sideline, and I played for a guy named Coach Parcells.

- [Steve] The Bill Parcells?

- The Bill Parcells, second greatest man in my life next to my dad.

He was that good.

So I come to the side and he said, "Man, what the F is wrong with you?"

I said, "Man, I'm good.

I'm good."

He said, "Man, trainer, check him out."

So I go in the back.

Trainer said, "Hey, Ray, you good?"

I said, "Yeah, man."

He said, "Where we at?"

I said, "Yeah, man."

He said, "What's your name?"

I said, "Yeah, man."

Didn't know where the hell I was.

I played the whole game.

First time I ever had a concussion.

All the years I played through high school, all that stuff, college, well, we had one in college, but that was my second one, okay?

Now, when you have a concussion, right?

The symptoms don't come right away.

I've had over 20 in my career, and they didn't take our helmet away like they do now.

They let you play.

They would say, "Man, you good?"

"Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Yes."

Or the trainer would be standing behind you.

And how we used to cheat, if the doctor came up and asked you a question and said, "Hey, what's your age?"

they tap your neck to tell you what your age was, so you could still play.

NFL's doing a better job of making it safe for everyone.

I've had 30 surgeries, 31, actually.

Six neck, two back, 19 knee surgeries, four right shoulder, one right elbow.

I don't take a pill in any of that stuff.

I had neck surgery a year ago, double disc replacement.

I didn't take one pill.

How is that freaking possible?

- [Steve] How is it?

- How is it possible?

'Cause there's so many other things out there that you don't know.

Nerve blocks, if I would've known about freaking nerve blocks years ago, I would've never been an addict.

Never, okay?

Coaches, students, our esteemed guests, ask the freaking question, "What else can my kid take?"

"What else is out there that they can do instead "of taking these painkillers?"

And not for nothing, guys, you gotta be responsible.

Man, I was a grown man, grown, when I got addicted to painkillers.

So be aware of your surroundings, number one.

Number two, ask the freaking question, "What else can I take?"

Now, I'll let Steve handle it back over.

I'm gonna tell you this straight up.

I went from 125 Vicodin to 600 Vicodin to- - [Steve] Oh my, a hundred, say it again?

- I went from 125 Vicodin to 600 Vicodin, to 1,400 Vicodin, to 1,600 Vicodin a month.

So this whole section right here, I was taking 80 a day.

That whole section right there would be dead right now.

Right in this moment, they would be dead, okay?

This is not a game, ladies and gentlemen.

And you're playing a sport, and I don't care what the sport is, that's putting you in jeopardy of having to go see a doctor.

But we love the game, do we not?

Every sport you play, you love the game, do you not?

- [Audience] Yes, sir!

- So you make sacrifices.

- Here's what I'm curious about, 1,600- - A month.

- Okay, but for some folks here today who are saying, "Well, Ray, that's pretty terrible for you, but that's you.

"I'm not you."

- Correct.

- "I can take a few if I've got a knee issue.

"No, I got a back issue.

"I know there are some alternatives, devil's advocate," - Yeah.

- "I'm just gonna take a few to get through this, "so I can get out there, but I'm not you."

- Oh, you will be me.

You just think you can take three?

I doubt it.

It takes the pain away.

It gives you almost superhuman strength, I think.

Which isn't reality.

It's not scientific.

But I love the game that freaking much that I wasn't gonna let my brothers down.

Brings me to my next story.

I'm in the NFL.

I played for the Dolphins.

I get put in the ground by, they called him the gravedigger back in the day.

He's about 6'6", about 425 pounds.

Picks me up off the ground, throws me into the thing.

My shoulder goes that way.

My neck goes that way.

Can't get, my shoulder comes out, can't get back in.

So I take my shoulder pairs off and I smash my shoulder like Mel Gibson in the side of the stadium.

Goes back in, but I'm still in pain.

So we go into the doctor's.

You know, it's almost halftime.

We go in and the trainer says to me, "You're done."

The doctor says to me, "You're done."

So I'm like, "Oh, okay."

I'm not happy.

My coach comes in and the head trainer comes in and said, "Ray, we need you."

Now, this is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my NFL career.

"We need you."

They give me shots in my shoulder.

They would stick the needle in and they would move it.

And when I'd go, "Huh!"

then they would give me some juice.

I got eight of those all around my shoulder.

They give me eight Vicodin.

Eight.

Take four and four.

I did that.

Without question, I did that.

I go out in the second half.

I threw four picks.

I couldn't even see my receivers.

And for the first time in my life, I had regret because I let every single one of my brothers down 'cause I wasn't strong enough to say, "I'm not going.

I'm not gonna take that shot.

"I'm not gonna take that Vicodin."

It's one of my biggest regrets in the NFL.

Don't let that happen to you because I lost the game for my entire team.

So after the game's over with, I'm a man, I'm a Jersey boy, I'ma own it, I'ma own it.

- [Steve] Right.

- I go in front of the podium, which wasn't a podium after I got done 'cause I basically picked it up and threw it.

Scored a touchdown with it like I spiked it on the ground.

- [Steve] That's a Jersey thing.

- Jersey, yeah, yeah, so don't do that, guys.

Please don't do that.

I just went up to the podium.

I said this, "For the first time in NFL history, "one guy lost the game for everyone.

"Don't talk to the coaches.

Don't talk to the players.

"It's all on me."

I pick up the podium, I smashed that shtuff.

Whoo, almost again.

Smashed it 'cause that's how upset I was.

I let my team down.

Don't be that guy.

You play hurt, man, you can ruin it for everyone.

- Ray, a follow-up on that.

When did you know, emotionally, intellectually, every way that you, that it was so outta control that you quote, unquote, "needed help?"

'Cause we said, "If you need help, ask for help."

How and when did that ever happen?

Well, it obviously happened or we wouldn't be here now.

- Yes, or we wouldn't be here.

Well, the reality is this, right?

When you leave the NFL, you get insurance for five years, okay?

Five, that's it.

Five years, that's all you get.

Then, you're on your own.

Now, what insurance company's gonna cover me with all my existing injury?

Well, I had to pay like $4,500 every three months.

I ain't got that.

I swallowed my kids' tuition.

$364,000 worth of fu, ooh, pills.

That's what I swallowed, okay?

Here's the thing, guys.

I mean, I'm not ashamed of who I am.

My addiction made me into the man that's standing before you.

I am a survivor, okay?

He asked me when I hit bottom, I never did.

My wife comes to me, and she said, "If you don't go, we're leaving."

Now, I have three daughters, like I said, and my wife, they're my world.

"We're leaving" or, "You're leaving."

And I said, "You know what?

"Okay, I'm not willing to lose that."

That was the only mainstay in my three years of being addicted, my wife, my children.

It was awesome.

And they stuck with me, they're road dogs.

So when she told me that I had to go or they were gonna go, I said, "I'm not willing to risk it."

So when I went to rehab, listen, I'm angry in my sleep.

Man, I just, I'm angry all the time.

So when I went there, I didn't wanna be there.

And I didn't speak at all.

They would be like, "Ray, what do you got to say?"

And I would say, you know this word, "Pass."

- [Steve] This in group?

- Right in group.

And there was a lot.

And this wasn't no slappy, you know, just check it.

This was a five-star place.

Chefs cooking our food.

I mean, it was ridiculous.

We're on the beach.

You could leave the freaking place, go across, get your feet wet, go swim.

When I got to rehab, I was so angry and disappointed in myself because I felt weak.

Now, lemme tell you this right now, there ain't no weak freaking muscle or bone in my body.

I don't care how old I get, I don't care what my age is, I don't care how many surgeries I have.

Because this right here, ladies and gentlemen, my dome, my gray is what keeps me moving every single day.

Now, I'm gonna give you my secret.

Everybody wanna hear the secret?

- [Everybody] Yeah.

- Here's the secret to doing whatever you want in your life.

If you play the game up here, you can materialize it out there.

So before Sunday came, I played the game 165 times in my head.

I was ready for anything.

Well, what do sports do?

They shock you, don't they?

Just when you think you know everything, you don't know a damn thing, okay?

So get to rehab.

I'm a big dude.

The owner comes to me and says, "Man, you scaring the shh outta my patients."

I said, "Man, I don't care.

Send me home."

I didn't wanna be there.

He said, "It's not that easy."

He said something to me that changed my life forever, "I just want you to listen to the people in group."

Now, I was in there with headphones on.

Like I wasn't even trying to be participate in my wellness.

I was just like, "I'm good.

I'm only taking 125."

I went from 1,600 to 125 after my neck surgery.

- [Steve] So you thought you were good?

- Cured.

Addict's mind, "I'm cured."

That's the addict's mind, "I'm cured."

It's only 125.

What?

Pick six people in the front row.

They could die from just 125.

- [Steve] Oh, boy.

- So he said to me, "I want you to listen to the people."

And when I started listening, you ever hear that term like if you throw all your problems out on the table and everybody throws theirs out, you'll take your stuff back?

That's facts.

Because I was sitting in that room, Steve, and I was like, "Man, these people are freaking crazy."

One dude pulled up in his Phantom Rolls Royce, threw a bag out the window and drove off.

Came back with his Ferrari.

Threw two more bags out and he drove off.

I said, "Man, what kind of place am I at?"

Ferraris and stuff.

I was with doctors, heart surgeons, CEOs, CFOs, top echelon of our society.

All addicts.

See, opioids don't care what religion you're from, if you're a woman or a male or an uncle, a father, a son, they don't give a shtuff about you.

But it will hit you.

It doesn't care what religion you are.

It doesn't care.

You will succumb to it eventually.

So as athletes, we're never asked to do something more than what we can give, correct?

And don't tell me that 120% crap 'cause I don't believe it.

All you can give is 100% of yourself if you put the time in, okay?

Here's my thing, guys.

You ever hear that term like (fist slapping) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

- [Steve] You buy it?

- Heard that before?

- [Steve] Yeah.

- It's true, because in my throws of addiction, HBO did a special on the doctor that basically saved my life.

And I was still doing TV.

I won a damn Emmy while I was addicted to opioids.

When you take 82, 85 a day and you could still function, you are 100% an addict.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with me.

Now, you see how I look.

I like to dress.

I'm a quarterback.

I'm pretty, I don't care.

You can say whatever the hell you want.

But I'll knuckle you up and you won't be saying it for too long, I'll tell you that.

Here's my thing.

Back then, I was still a quarterback.

I think I've always been a quarterback.

And Steve talked about leadership, there's different people all over the place.

I walked past a mirror one day in my apartment.

And when I passed it, I kinda caught a glimpse of myself.

I was like Michael Jackson.

I had to moonwalk back and said, "Who the fuh is that dude?"

It was me, 178 pounds.

- [Steve] 6'3" plus, 170- - 6'4", 173, that was five pounds lighter than my high school weight.

(Steve exhales) That's reality.

My head wasn't shaved.

My beard wasn't right.

And back then, I didn't even have a beard.

Everything was perfectly clean as a whistle.

I didn't wanna, I didn't know who the dude was.

The only person that could get you out of that is the person that stares back at you in the mirror.

- [Steve] What'd you say to yourself, Ray?

- "Who the hell are you?

And where did my boy go?"

I didn't have anything when I grew up, nothing.

I come from a one-square-mile town, I didn't know how to say, "Hey, come get me, man.

"Come get me."

I didn't know how to say it 'cause I was an athlete.

We're individuals, but we played team sport.

And the way I was raised and the way I was coached was you went through it.

And that's okay 'cause that's what you chose to do.

So be smart, guys.

Take care of your bodies.

That means eating right.

And let's not forget, second part of this whole thing, your mental awareness.

- [Steve] What does that mean?

- It means when you take opioids, this all gets fuzzy.

All of it, okay?

And what happens when you take downers?

Depression.

Opioids are directly tied into that kinda stuff, that mental illness stuff.

Because I'm telling you, when you take 80 a day, there's times where you're lucid, but then there's also the times that you're not.

Be careful.

- [Steve] Lemme follow up on this.

So three years addicted, three years plus?

- Yeah, three years long.

- [Steve] Okay, so how long has it been since, while you still, you refer to yourself- - I'm always gonna be an addict.

- [Steve] How long has it been?

- Since I took a pill?

- [Steve] Yes.

- Jesus.

See, here's the thing, Steve.

I can't really give you, years, years, like long time.

But today is the day I'm sober.

I don't go back years.

I don't do that.

How long you been sober (beep)?

I mean, stuff.

Sorry, Jesus.

- [Steve] You don't count, you don't- - I'm sober today right now.

In front of you, in front of them.

- [Steve] Today.

- Today.

- [Steve] Why is that the day that matters?

- Because this is the only day that matters.

If I take a pill today, you'll never see me again.

It's that simple.

And if you're not that real with yourself, you's an addict.

It's hard to keep your thoughts straight when you're an addict.

And I'm in pain every freaking day.

- [Steve] Like right now?

- Right this minute.

And it's not a good day today.

I have spasms up and down my back.

Got trigger point injections on yesterday, about nine of 'em.

This is my life.

I love my life.

I'm not ashamed to be an addict.

That's why I'm here telling you my story.

Because if I save one of you today, you listen to one thing I said, then I did my job.

When you're in the NFL, it's not hard to navigate.

You have to be a certain, be at a place at a certain time and a certain place.

And that's it.

Like if you're late, they'll fine you.

I had one fine in eight years.

Funny story, so we don't end on this bad stuff.

I go to the hotel early 'cause I was tired.

So wifey drives me to the hotel.

I lay down, I wanna take a nap.

Well, I slept through my alarm clock.

And banging on my door, I get up.

I'm in my drawers.

I'm like, "What?"

He's like, "Man, it's 9:30."

I said, "Oh, hell no."

I take off down the hallway.

I'm in my drawers.

It took me almost halfway down the freaking hallway to realize I'm in my underwear.

No shirt, no socks, no shoes.

I'm like, that's how scared I was.

I was panicking.

So I run back to the room and throw some shorts on.

As I come up, the guys are coming out of the night meeting.

So I just kinda blend into that thing.

So I'm getting my cheeseburger and Parcells comes up behind me and says, and I quote, "That's the most (beep) expensive cheeseburger "you're ever gonna eat."

I said, "Oh, hell no."

But I didn't say nothing.

You know, I didn't say nothing.

He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have a nice rest?

I said, "Yeah.

As a matter of fact, I did.

"Slept good.

"I'll be ready for tomorrow, coach."

He's like, "Yeah, you'll be ready for that fine."

$4,500 that cost me.

- [Steve] $4,500 fine.

- And they don't let you write a check, Steve, that says federal state.

Other, that's the bitch, other.

Yeah, 4,500.

That was the last time I was gonna give money up for free.

- You've always been a great broadcaster, because your gift of being able to communicate.

Because it's part of a Jersey thing, but it's also you.

- [Ray] Yeah.

- That being said, when did you decide to use your skills and tools and your commitment, particularly to young people, to do this kind of work?

When and how'd you decide that?

- Here's the thing.

When you receive the gift of sobriety, you don't give it back, it's a sin.

It's a sin.

Somebody gave me a gift, right?

To live my life better.

So if I don't return it, in my mind, it's a sin.

It's just a sin.

So for me to come here and tell these kids, I mean, I've spoken all over the state.

We've had big, big, - Yep, that's right.

- you know, stuff going on.

But at the same time, do you realize my goal is only get one of you?

Now, if I got all of you, that would be fantastic, right?

That would be perfect.

But then the fact of the matter is, there's somebody, there's many people in this room right now, right here, right now, that are dependent on opioids.

- [Steve] Why do you say that?

- Because I know it's a fact.

You know how Steve talked about the number game?

Yeah?

There's about 10 of you in here right now that are addicted to painkillers.

- [Steve] At least?

- At least.

And here's the thing, I'm living proof that you can get out of it.

It's not a dead-end because most people can't afford to take pills forever.

And then, what comes next?

- [Steve] Yep.

- A needle.

And then, what do we have after that?

Death.

I am living proof that you can overcome anything in your lifetime.

I'm living, I'm standing here.

80 a day.

Still here.

The man upstairs has got a purpose for me.

please, let's say thank you to the great, courageous, Ray Lucas.

- Thank you, guys.

(audience cheering) Thank you.

- [Narrator] One-On-One with Steve Adubato has been a production of the Caucus Educational Corporation.

Funding has been provided by Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey.

RWJBarnabas Health.

Let'’s be healthy together.

The Healthcare Foundation of New Jersey.

The North Ward Center.

NJM Insurance Group.

Prudential Financial.

PSEG Foundation.

The New Jersey Education Association.

And by The Russell Berrie Foundation.

Promotional support provided by Meadowlands Media.

And by NJ.Com.

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