[TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING] [DOORBELL RINGS] POSTMAN: PACKAGE FOR LOUISA--SCHOOL BOOKS OR SOMETHING.

JUST NEED FOR YOU TO SIGN FOR IT.

OR WOULD IT BE BETTER TO FORWARD IT TO HER?

THE POSTAL SERVICE IS SENSITIVE TO ALL DOMESTIC SITUATIONS.

MARTIN: NO, THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY.

POSTMAN: OH--OH--OH, RIGHT.

I-I-I-IS SHE BACK ALREADY, THEN?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] WOMAN: WHERE’S THE WIFE, DOC?

SECOND WOMAN: UH, MY MUM’S SINGLE, BUT SHE’S PICKY.

TOSSER.

[WOMEN LAUGHING] JOE: MORNING, DOC.

ANY NEWS FROM SUNNY SPAIN?

I’M SURE SHE’LL BE BACK SOON AS YOU LIKE.

HOW ABOUT A PIE AND PINT LATER?

SET THE WORLD TO RIGHTS.

OH!

WHOA!

[CAR HORNS HONKING] >> YOU IDIOT!

JOE: FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

BACK, BACK.

MARTIN: RUTH.

RUTH!

MORNING.

RUTH: I SINCERELY HOPE SOMEONE HAS DIED.

MARTIN: OH, I WASN’T AWARE YOU WERE ASLEEP.

RUTH: YOU--YOU’VE MADE SURE THAT’S NO LONGER THE CASE.

OH, COME ON IN, THEN.

I JUST GOT BACK LATE FROM LONDON LAST NIGHT.

I WAS HOPING FOR A LIE IN.

MARTIN: I NEED A THERAPIST.

RUTH: AND I NEED 7 OR 8 HOURS SLEEP AT NIGHT.

MARTIN: I PROMISED LOUISA I’D GET SOME HELP.

I CAN’T FIND ANYBODY SUITABLE.

I LEFT YOU LOADS OF MESSAGES.

RUTH: WHICH OBVIOUSLY I DIDN’T GET BECAUSE I WAS IN LONDON.

ANYWAY, I HARDLY SEE THERE’S ANY URGENCY.

OHH, YOU WANT ME TO DO THERAPY WITH YOU?

MARTIN: YES.

RUTH: OH, SORRY, NO.

I’M A PSYCHIATRIST, NOT A THERAPIST.

BESIDES, WE’RE FAMILY.

IT WOULD BE THOROUGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL.

MARTIN: YES.

I’M AWARE OF THAT, BUT I’M PREPARED TO OVERLOOK IT.

RUTH: I’D BE COMPROMISED.

I HAVE PERSONAL OPINIONS ABOUT THE STATE OF YOUR MARRIAGE WHICH WOULD AFFECT MY PROFESSIONAL JUDGMENT.

MARTIN: WHAT PERSONAL OPINIONS?

RUTH: YOU SEE?

IT’S ALREADY CAUSING PROBLEMS.

HOW LONG TILL SHE GETS BACK?

HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HER?

MARTIN: UH, YES.

I SPOKE TO HER WHEN SHE ARRIVED.

SHE’S STAYING WITH HER MOTHER IN A--IN A VERY REMOTE VILLAGE, AND, UH, COMMUNICATION IS DIFFICULT.

RUTH: IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU’RE SAYING THAT YOU’VE ONLY SPOKEN TO YOUR WIFE ONCE IN 3 WEEKS.

MARTIN: WELL, SHE SAID SHE’D CALL ME WHEN SHE WAS SETTLED.

RUTH: AND SHE HASN’T?

MARTIN: UH, NO.

RUTH: WELL, YOU NEED TO CALL HER, THEN.

AT LEAST THEN YOU’LL KNOW WHEN OR IF SHE’S PLANNING ON COMING BACK.

MARTIN: WELL, SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO COME BACK.

RUTH: SHE SAID SHE’D PHONE.

WITH REGARDS TO THERAPY, I HAVE AN IDEA OF SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIT THE BILL.

JUST LET ME MAKE SOME CALLS.

COME ON.

MORWENNA: YOU LOOK NICE TODAY, DOC.

CAKE?

MARTIN: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

MORWENNA: NOTHING.

JUST BEING POLITE.

SOCIAL INTERACTION--PERFECTLY NORMAL.

ALTHOUGH, SINCE YOU MENTION IT, PORTWENN LIFEBOAT STATION’S HAVING A SPECIAL DAY TOMORROW.

THEY’RE DOING A MOCK RESCUE AND EVERYTHING.

ME AND MY FLATMATE JANICE ARE TAKING PART, AND-- MARTIN: WHAT, YOU’RE GOING TO BE MANNING A LIFEBOAT, ARE YOU?

MORWENNA: WHAT?

NO.

I’M GOING TO BE A VICTIM, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.

STARTS AT HALF 3:00, SO I WILL NEED THE AFTERNOON OFF.

MARTIN: NO.

MORWENNA: IT’S MY CIVIC DUTY.

MARTIN: NO, IT ISN’T.

MORWENNA: IT’S A PROPER HONOR TO BE ASKED, DOC, LIKE, UM--LIKE GETTING AN MBE OR SOMETHING.

MARTIN: AND WHY WOULD YOU BE RECEIVING AN MBE?

MORWENNA: I DON’T KNOW, DO I?

IT’S A METAPHOR.

MARTIN: THAT’S A SIMILE.

AND THE ANSWER’S STILL NO.

BARRY: OH, SORRY, LOVE.

BED AND BREAKFAST’S NOT OPEN YET.

RUTH: OBVIOUSLY NOT.

AL: WHERE’S STEVE?

HUH?

BARRY: OH, HE SAID HE’D BE DELAYED A BIT.

HE HAD SOME BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

AL: BUT THIS IS HIS BUSINESS.

AT LEAST YOU’RE ON TIME FOR ONCE.

OH, RUTH.

UM, HI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I DIDN’T KNOW YOU, UH--YOU WERE GOING TO DROP BY.

BARRY: OH, I TOLD HER YOU’RE NOT OPEN YET.

AL: BUT WE ARE VERY, VERY CLOSE.

UM, I’M THINKING A DAY, TWO AT MOST.

RUTH: YOU SAID THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE READY BY THE TIME I GOT BACK FROM LONDON.

YOU WERE 120% SURE, DESPITE THAT BEING A MATHEMATICAL IMPOSSIBILITY.

WE’RE MEANT TO BE OPENING AT THE END OF THE WEEK.

AL: YOU DID SAY YOU WERE GOING TO BE A SILENT PARTNER.

RUTH: SILENT, NOT DUMB.

WHO’S STEVE?

BARRY: OH, STEVE’S MY BOSS.

UM, MOON RAY CONSTRUCTION.

OBVIOUSLY, WE’RE CALLED MOON RAY BECAUSE IT’S STEVE, YEAH?

RUTH: NO.

BARRY: OH, YOU MUST HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT.

IT’S THE-- RUTH: ACTUALLY, THAT WASN’T AN INVITATION TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION.

HAVE YOU COME UP WITH A NAME FOR THIS VENTURE YET?

AL: UM, "SALMON ENCHANTED PLACE."

IT’S A PUN.

RUTH: "PORTWENN FISHING HOLIDAYS," A NAME THAT NEEDS NO EXPLANATION OR TORTUROUS WORDPLAY.

AL: OH, UH, BY THE WAY, I FOUND A FEW BOXES OF JOAN’S STUFF IN HER ROOM.

I WASN’T SURE WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO DO WITH THEM.

RUTH: I’LL HAVE A RUMMAGE.

COUPLE OF DAYS?

REALLY?

BARRY: HA HA HA!

SALMON ENCHANTED PLACE--JUST GOT THAT.

THAT’S BRILLIANT, MATE.

BECAUSE THEY’RE FISH, RIGHT?

HA HA HA!

AL: EH.

STEVE: UHH.

[PHONE RINGING] OH, NO.

RIGHT.

HERE WE GO.

SO, DOC, THE LIFEBOAT BOSSES WANT ME TO HAVE MY MEDICAL CERTIFICATE BEFORE THEY’LL LET ME BACK ON THE BOATS.

PAPERWORK, YOU KNOW?

RIDICULOUS.

MARTIN: STEP ON THE SCALES, PLEASE.

STEVE: THERE’S THIS NEW GUY, GERRY, STATION MANAGER.

FEEL A BIT SORRY FOR HIM, THINK HE’S A BIT INTIMIDATED BY ME, YOU KNOW, THE MOON RAY AND ALL THAT.

MARTIN: YOU’VE PUT ON WEIGHT.

STEVE: THAT’S MUSCLE, DOC.

IMPORTANT I STAY FIT, SHOW THOSE YOUNG LADS AT THE STATION THERE’S LIFE LEFT IN THIS WAR HORSE YET.

THAT’S US DONE, THEN?

MARTIN: NO, OF COURSE IT ISN’T.

SIT HERE.

GIVE ME YOUR ARM.

STEVE: THE LAST TIME I NEEDED ONE OF THESE, DR. SIM JUST SIGNED THE FORM AND SENT ME OFF--NO MUCKING AROUND.

MARTIN: REALLY?

WELL, UNLIKE DR. SIM, I’M A BIG BELIEVER IN MUCKING AROUND, OR "OBSERVING CORRECT MEDICAL PROCEDURE" AS WE SOMETIMES CALL IT.

YOUR NOTES SAY THAT YOU ARE PRESCRIBED BENDROFLUMETHIAZIDE FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

ARE YOU STILL TAKING THAT?

STEVE: YEAH, OF COURSE.

MARTIN: THEN YOUR PRESSURE SHOULDN’T BE SO RAISED.

I’LL NEED A URINE SAMPLE.

STEVE: W-W-WHY?

WHAT FOR?

MARTIN: IT’S ROUTINE.

IT CHECKS FOR THE PRESENCE OF BLOOD, PROTEIN, SUGAR, INDICATING KIDNEY DISEASE OR DIABETES.

STEVE: YEAH, MIGHT HAVE A BIT OF A WAIT THERE, DOC.

THE, UH, WELL IS EMPTY, SO TO SPEAK.

WENT BEFORE I CAME.

MARTIN: WELL, BRING ONE IN WHEN THE WELL ISN’T QUITE SO EMPTY, SO TO SPEAK.

STEVE: TOMORROW’S KIND OF A SPECIAL DAY, SO I REALLY NEED IT A.S.A.P.

MARTIN: THEN I NEED A URINE SAMPLE.

STEVE: DOC, I GET IT.

YOU’RE HAVING A BIT OF A BAD TIME.

I MEAN, IT’S COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU.

I’M JUST SAYING, I’VE BEEN THERE, TOO.

10 YEARS AGO, MY MISSUS WALKS OUT ON ME FOR A YOUNGER FELLA.

I WAS ANGRY, BITTER, LIKE YOU.

ONE MORNING, I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, AND I SAID TO MYSELF-- MARTIN: SHUT UP.

YOU WON’T GET A MEDICAL CERTIFICATE WITHOUT A URINE SAMPLE.

NEXT PATIENT!

JOE: SO YOU DON’T KNOW IF HE’S MOVING BACK IN OR NOT?

BERT: I HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO TALK TO HIM, HAVE I?

WHAT WITH JENNIFER BEING AWAY, DOING SOME COURSE, I’VE BEEN RUNNING THIS PLACE ON MY LONESOME.

JOE: ALL RIGHT.

DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR LIFE STORY.

SORRY.

JUST FEEL LIKE I’M IN LIMBO.

I ASKED AL IF HE’S GOING TO MOVE BACK IN WHEN THE FARM’S COMPLETE, AND HE’S ALL, "MAYBE."

I MEAN, WHAT’S THAT ACTUALLY MEAN, EH?

BERT: IT PROBABLY MEANS HE’S AWARE OF HOW OVERDRAMATIC YOU GET AND IS TRYING TO BREAK IT TO YOU GENTLY.

JOE: I’M NOT OVERDRAMATIC.

IF ANYTHING, I’M UNDER-DRAMATIC.

HE ALWAYS USED TO DO THE WASHING UP.

HMM.

AL: HAVE EITHER OF YOU SEEN STEVE BAKER?

HE’S NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE, HE’S NOT AT HIS HOUSE, AND HE’S NOT SHOWED UP ON SITE AT ALL TODAY.

BERT: HE’LL BE WHERE HE ALWAYS IS, IN THE LIFEBOAT STATION.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT HIRING HIM.

AL: WELL, HE PROMISED ME HE’D GET MORE STAFF ON.

COULD REALLY USE AN EXTRA PAIR OF HANDS.

BERT: OH, HO HO!

NO, NO, NO.

THIS PAST FEW WEEKS, IT’S BEEN, "I CAN DO THIS MYSELF, DAD," "DON’T NEED YOUR HELP, DAD," "YOU’LL ONLY MUCK IT UP, DAD."

YOU’VE MADE YOUR BED, MY BOY.

YOU LIE IN IT.

AL: WHAT ABOUT YOU, JOE?

ARE YOU FREE TOMORROW AT ALL?

JOE: MAYBE.

GERRY: AND I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO GET ONE FOR WEEKS.

EVERYONE NEEDS A VALID MEDICAL CERTIFICATE TO COMPLY WITH REGS.

STEVE: GERRY, WHAT’S HAPPENING TOMORROW?

GERRY: YOU KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING.

IT’S A TRAINING EXERCISE.

STEVE: NO.

THERE’S A TRAINING EXERCISE BEING COVERED BY THE LOCAL NEWS, CAMERAS CATCHING EVERY MOMENT, AND WHY’S THAT?

GERRY: BECAUSE IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE--SINCE THE MOON RAY RESCUE.

STEVE: EXACTLY.

MORWENNA: DIDN’T YOUR MUM HAVE A THING WITH STEVE BAKER?

JANICE: NO.

MORWENNA: OH.

JANICE: I DON’T THINK SO.

STEVE: I NEED TO BE THE FACE OUT ON THE WATER, SO EVERYONE CAN SEE ME.

GERRY: IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

MORWENNA: WE SHOULD JUST GO IN.

JANICE: NO.

THERE’S NOTHING WORSE THAN WALKING IN ON A DOMESTIC.

MORWENNA: IT’S CO-WORKERS.

THEY’RE NOT MARRIED.

HI.

HOW’S IT GOING?

AL: IT’S NOT.

IS STEVE IN THERE?

JANICE: HAVING A DOMESTIC.

AL: OH.

MORWENNA: YOU ALL RIGHT?

AL: YEAH, AMAZING.

GOT GUESTS ARRIVING AT THE END OF THE WEEK, AND NOTHING IS READY.

ARE YOU FREE TO HELP TOMORROW?

MORWENNA: OH, I’VE KIND OF AGREED TO BE PART OF THIS MOCK RESCUE THING.

JANICE: WE’RE GOING TO BE ON THE TELLY.

AL: RIGHT.

WELL, GREAT.

STEVE: SO YOU’RE SERIOUSLY SAYING YOU’RE GOING TO STOP THE ONE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT RESCUE FROM TAKING PART BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID CERTIFICATE?

REALLY?

GERRY: PRETTY MUCH, YEAH.

STEVE: WELL, DOC SAID I COULD PICK IT UP TOMORROW, SO, UH, FUSS ABOUT NOTHING.

AL: HEY.

YOU KNOW WHAT ISN’T A FUSS ABOUT NOTHING?

IT’S THE STATE OF MY FARMHOUSE.

YOU SAID THAT THIS--THIS LIFEBOAT STUFF WOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH THE JOB.

STEVE: SORRY, AL.

BEEN TANGLED UP IN RED TAPE.

GERRY: JUST GET ME THE CERTIFICATE BY MORNING, AND EVERYONE’S HAPPY.

AL: IT’S 5:00, MATE.

STEVE: YEAH, I--I HAD A JOB IN DELABOLE I HAD TO CHECK ON.

DON’T WORRY.

YOU’RE MY PRIORITY.

JANICE: HERE WE GO.

GOT OUR WAIVER FORMS.

GERRY: SEE?

THEY CAN DO IT.

JANICE: ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT.

GERRY: BE HERE FOR 2:30 TOMORROW, OK?

MORWENNA: AH.

NOW, I DON’T SUPPOSE THERE’S A CHANCE WE COULD SHIFT THE WHOLE THING TO, SAY, HALF PAST 12:00?

IT’S JUST THAT’S MY LUNCH BREAK.

GERRY: NO, OF COURSE NOT.

MORWENNA: RIGHT.

WORTH A TRY.

[PHONE RINGING] LOUISA: YOU’VE REACHED LOUISA.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.

MARTIN: UM, LOUISA.

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU’D HAD ANY, UH, FURTHER THOUGHTS ABOUT WHEN YOU MIGHT BE RETURNING TO PORTWENN.

UM, I HOPE YOU AND JAMES ARE WELL.

UM, THIS IS MARTIN ELLINGHAM, OBVIOUSLY.

[PHONE RINGING] LOUISA?

RUTH: NO, IT’S ME.

MARTIN: OH.

YES?

RUTH: CAN YOU COME OVER TO THE FARM?

I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

MARTIN: I--I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.

BYE.

STEVE: [GASPING] HOW MANY MEN MY AGE CAN RUN 5K WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT, EH?

BARRY: YOU’RE SWEATING EVERYWHERE.

STEVE: IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH, MATE.

AND YOU SHOULD TAKE A LEAF OUT OF MY BOOK.

YOU’VE BEEN LATE EVERY DAY.

IT’S BAD FOR MY COMPANY’S IMAGE, YOU KNOW?

MARTIN: WHERE’S DR. ELLINGHAM?

BARRY: THOUGHT YOU WERE DR. ELLINGHAM.

STEVE: LISTEN, DOC.

DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO DROP IN THAT URINE SAMPLE.

DON’T SUPPOSE WE CAN JUST GO AHEAD WITHOUT IT, SEEING AS TIME’S OF THE ESSENCE?

MARTIN: NO, OF COURSE WE CAN’T.

STEVE: UHH.

OH, GOD.

I’M SORRY.

MARTIN: OH, YOU IDIOT!

AL: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?

MARTIN: LOOK WHAT THE MAN’S JUST DONE.

AL: LOOK AT THIS MESS.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LOT?

MARTIN: WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOUR ARM?

STEVE: UH, NOTHING.

MARTIN: SO YOU JUST DROPPED THAT DELIBERATELY, DID YOU?

STEVE: NO.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

BARRY: OH, DOC, SEEING AS YOU’RE HERE, I’M HAVING THESE NIGGLES.

MARTIN: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.

STEVE: SO IT’S JUST THERE--HERE.

MARTIN: NO, GET OFF.

THANK YOU.

GET OFF.

RUTH: YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SAY, "YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED A BIT," BUT IN YOUR CASE, IT’S LITERALLY TRUE.

I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THAT TIE.

MARTIN: WHAT?

LOTS OF CHILDREN WORE TIES IN THOSE DAYS.

RUTH: ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS, YES.

THIS IS ON THE BEACH.

MARTIN: NONSENSE.

I’LL PUT ALL THESE IN THE SKIP.

RUTH: YOU KNOW, A MEDIOCRE THERAPIST MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR INABILITY TO FACE UP TO THE PAST.

LUCKILY, I HAVE FOUND YOU SOMEONE WHO IS FAR FROM MEDIOCRE--DR. RACHEL TIMONEY.

SHE WROTE SOME FASCINATING PAPERS ON PSYCHOTHERAPEUTIC THEORY.

BEEN DOWN HERE A FEW MONTHS, WRITING A BOOK, SEEING SOME PRIVATE PATIENTS ON THE SIDE.

MARTIN: WHERE DID SHE WORK BEFORE?

RUTH: LONDON, BART’S.

AND SHE DOESN’T SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY, SO YOU TWO OUGHT TO GET ON.

SHE’S GOT A CANCELLATION AT 11:00 TOMORROW MORNING, SO IF YOU-- MARTIN: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

STEVE: CLEANED UP NICELY, DOC.

BARELY NOTICE ANYTHING HAD HAPPENED.

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

MARTIN: UM... STEVE: POP IN TOMORROW MORNING, AND WE CAN DISCUSS THAT MEDICAL CERTIFICATE, THEN.

MARTIN: YES.

UH, MAKE SURE IT’S BEFORE 10:30.

RUTH: GOOD FOR YOU.

MARTIN: I STILL HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO LOUISA.

I DON’T KNOW, UM, YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE’S COMING BACK OR-- RUTH: OR IF SHE’S COMING HOME AT ALL?

MARTIN: YES.

UM... RUTH: OH, MARTIN.

MARTIN: OW!

[TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING] [PHONE RINGING] HELLO!

LOUISA: MARTIN.

MARTIN: YES!

I’M HERE!

HELLO!

LOUISA: MARTIN.

MARTIN: LOUISA.

LOUISA: HELLO?

MARTIN: HELLO!

HELLO!

LOUISA!

[DIAL TONE] LOUISA!

STEVE: I TOLD YOU TO GET A NEW TUB.

BARRY: OH?

NO, YOU DIDN’T.

STEVE: IT’S EMPTY, MATE.

IT’S EMPTY, LIKE YOUR HEAD.

I’LL DO A RUN INTO TOWN TO GET SOME.

AL: IT’S OK. I’LL GO.

STEVE: I TOLD YOU.

I’M ON THIS.

YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY.

AL: YOU’VE ALREADY GOT THE AFTERNOON OFF.

IF YOU DISAPPEAR AWAY NOW... STEVE: TRUST ME.

YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME I SAID THAT?

WHEN THE CREW OF THE MOON RAY WERE STRANDED OUT IN THAT STORM, AND THE SUITS WERE TELLING ME IT WAS TOO DANGEROUS TO TAKE OUT THE LIFEBOAT.

I JUST LOOKED AT THEM, AND I SAID... AL: "TRUST ME."

YEAH.

I’VE HEARD THE STORY BEFORE, MATE.

EVERYBODY’S HEARD IT.

IT WAS 5 YEARS AGO.

I’M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

STEVE: I DON’T LET PEOPLE DOWN, AL.

YOU HAVE MY WORD.

HMM?

TRUST ME.

MARTIN: MORWENNA, UM, I NEED YOU TO-- MORWENNA: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?

MARTIN: NOTHING.

UM, I NEED YOU TO-- MORWENNA: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?

MARTIN: OF COURSE I HAVE NOT.

WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?

I NEED YOU TO GET MR. BAKER’S URINE SAMPLE FROM THE FRIDGE AND CHECK IT FOR PROTEIN AND SUGAR LEVELS.

USE A DIPSTICK.

MORWENNA: I WAS JUST SHOWING CONCERN.

MARTIN: WELL, DON’T.

MORWENNA: I DON’T SUPPOSE YOU’VE RECONSIDERED THIS LIFEBOAT THING.

MARTIN: URINE.

DIPSTICK.

MOVE.

MORWENNA: WONDERFUL.

I’M NOT QUITE SURE HOW THIS HAPPENED, BUT APPARENTLY, STEVE BAKER IS PREGNANT.

MARTIN: I BEG YOUR PARDON?

MORWENNA: SEE FOR YOURSELF.

AH, I USED THE WRONG DIPSTICK, DIDN’T I?

MARTIN: CALL MR. BAKER, AND ASK HIM TO COME IN IMMEDIATELY.

MORWENNA: DOC, HE’S NOT ACTUALLY PREGNANT.

MARTIN: THE STICK DETECTS BETA HCG, WHICH IS PRODUCED BY THE CELLS IN THE PLACENTA DURING PREGNANCY IN A WOMAN.

BUT IN A MAN, IT CAN BE EXCRETED BY SOME TUMORS, MOST COMMONLY TESTICULAR CANCER.

MORWENNA: SO, IN A WAY, I DID A GOOD THING, MIXING UP THE STICKS.

MARTIN: NO, OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T.

JUST GO AND CALL MR. BAKER, AND ASK HIM TO COME IN.

I'LL BE OUT UNTIL 12:30.

MORWENNA: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

MARTIN: THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

MORWENNA: ALL RIGHT.

STEVE: HELLO.

OH, SORRY.

ONE SECOND.

HELLO.

MORWENNA: HELLO.

MARTIN: HELLO.

STEVE: HELLO?

MORWENNA: HELLO?

MARTIN: YES--AH, NO.

STEVE: HI.

MORWENNA: HI.

MARTIN: THANK YOU.

HAVE YOU COME FOR YOUR TEST RESULTS?

STEVE: YEAH.

IS THAT A PROBLEM?

MARTIN: NO.

UM, GO THROUGH.

UH, MORWENNA.

I NEED YOU TO CALL DR. TIMONEY ON, UH, THIS NUMBER AND EXPLAIN THAT I HAD AN EMERGENCY PATIENT AND I NEED TO RESCHEDULE OUR MEETING TODAY.

MORWENNA: SO DOES THAT MEAN WE MIGHT NEED TO CLOSE DOWN THE SURGERY THIS AFTERNOON?

MARTIN: JUST CALL HER.

MORWENNA: RIGHT-O.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

UM, UH, YOUR URINE SAMPLE SHOWED THE PRESENCE OF HUMAN CHORIONIC GONADOTROPHIN.

THERE’S, UH, A POSSIBILITY YOU HAVE TESTICULAR CANCER.

STEVE: OK. MARTIN: HAVE YOU FELT ANY DULL ACHES OR PAINS IN YOUR SCROTUM OR ABDOMEN?

STEVE: UH, NO, NOTHING.

LOOK, YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

MARTIN: WELL, I’D HAVE TO EXAMINE YOU, UH, LOOK FOR LUMPS ON THE TESTES.

STEVE: DOC, IT’S NOT NECESSARY.

MARTIN: IT’S COMPLETELY NECESSARY.

STEVE: FINE.

MARTIN: UH, NO, NOT HERE--ON THE EXAMINATION TABLE.

PULL DOWN YOUR UNDERPANTS.

PUT YOUR HANDS BY YOUR SIDE.

STEVE: WELL?

MARTIN: NOTHING.

STEVE: HMM.

MUST JUST BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

MARTIN: NO, THE PRESENCE OF HCG IS NEVER "JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS."

STEVE: BUT I CAN STILL GET THE CERTIFICATE, RIGHT?

YOU SAID YOU NEEDED A URINE SAMPLE.

I GAVE YOU ONE.

MARTIN: I NEED TO RUN SOME MORE TESTS.

STEVE: BUT IT’S NOT AN ISSUE FOR THE MEDICAL?

WON’T AFFECT ME OUT ON THE BOATS?

MARTIN: UH...NO, TECHNICALLY, IT WON’T.

STEVE: SAY, UM, IF I DID HAVE THIS--THIS CANCER, HOW SERIOUS WOULD IT BE?

I MEAN, HOW SOON WOULD I HAVE NEEDED TO SEEK MEDICAL TREATMENT?

MARTIN: I JUST CANCELLED A REALLY IMPORTANT MEETING TO SEE YOU.

IT’S THAT SERIOUS.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.

STEVE: OH, LOOK, DOC.

YOU’VE DONE ME A FAVOR.

I’LL DO YOU ONE IN RETURN--SOME HARD-WON WISDOM.

ONCE THEY’RE GONE, THEY’RE GONE.

SHE’S NOT-- AL: WAIT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

BARRY: JUST NIPPING OUT TO SEE THE DOC.

AL: NIPPING OUT?

YOU’RE AT WORK.

BARRY: WELL, STEVE WENT TO GET WALL FILLER, AND HE’S NOT COME BACK YET, SO I CAN’T FILL THE WALLS.

AL: WHY DO YOU NEED TO SEE THE DOC?

BARRY: OH, COME ON.

I’VE BEEN LATE.

I’VE BEEN TIRED.

I’M SCREWING THINGS UP FOR YOU, SO I JUST THOUGHT I’D GO SEE THE DOC, GET A BOOSTER OR SOMETHING.

AL: OH.

BARRY: I KNOW IT’S FRUSTRATING.

[PHONE BEEPING] MORWENNA: SO DR. TIMONEY SAYS THE ONLY TIME SHE CAN SEE YOU IS HALF PAST 5:00.

SHE ALSO SAID SHE’D APPRECIATE IT NEXT TIME IF YOU GAVE HER ADVANCE WARNING BEFORE CANCELING AN APPOINTMENT.

SHE ALSO SAID IF YOU MISS ANOTHER ONE, THERE WON’T BE A NEXT TIME.

SHE SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

MARTIN: SEND IN THE NEXT PATIENT.

MORWENNA: RIGHT.

NOW, YOUR NEXT PATIENT IS KIND OF YOUR LAST PATIENT FOR THE DAY.

JUST MADE AN APPOINTMENT NOW.

MARTIN: WHERE HAVE ALL THE OTHERS GONE?

MORWENNA: UM, WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER I SAID I’D BEEN PICKED TO DO THIS LIFEBOAT THING?

I MAYBE KIND OF THOUGHT YOU’D SAY "YES," SO I KEPT THE SCHEDULE CLEAR.

FIGURED I’D BE ABLE TO LEAVE ABOUT NOW-ISH.

MARTIN: THAT’S FINE.

MORWENNA: FINE?

MARTIN: SEND IN THE NEXT PATIENT.

MORWENNA: ARE YOU OK, DOC?

BECAUSE USUALLY YOU’D BE YELLING AT ME BY NOW.

MARTIN: NEXT PATIENT, MORWENNA.

MORWENNA: FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, SHE’LL BE BACK.

I’VE GOT A SENSE ABOUT THESE THINGS.

NEXT PATIENT, RIGHT, GOT IT.

THE DOC WILL SEE YOU NOW.

MARTIN: TAKE A SEAT.

BARRY: I’M SORRY, DOC, WON’T TAKE LONG.

UM, JUST WONDERED IF I COULD GET ME A PICK-ME-UP, AS IT WERE.

MARTIN: A "PICK-ME-UP"?

BARRY: YEAH.

YEAH.

I’VE BEEN FEELING A BIT DRAINED RECENTLY.

UM, I SLEEP ALL NIGHT, BUT I’M A DEAD WEIGHT THE NEXT DAY.

I READ ABOUT THESE, UM, B12 VITAMIN INJECTIONS, GIVE YOU MORE ENERGY AND THAT.

MARTIN: NO.

BARRY: HUH?

MARTIN: I’M NOT JUST GOING TO DISH OUT VITAMIN INJECTIONS WILLY NILLY.

THEY CAN HAVE SIGNIFICANT SIDE EFFECTS--NOT TO MENTION, ADVERSELY AFFECTING ANY UNDERLYING CONDITION YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE THAT MADE YOU FEEL UNWELL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BARRY: ALL RIGHT.

UH, THANKS DOC.

I GOT TO BE BACK AT WORK IN 5 MINUTES, BUT THANKS, ANYWAY.

MARTIN: WHY ARE YOU WALKING LIKE THAT?

BARRY: LIKE WHAT?

MARTIN: YOU HAVE AN AWKWARD GAIT.

BARRY: DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

MARTIN: IT MEANS YOU’RE WALKING IN A PARTICULAR WAY IN ORDER TO MINIMIZE PAIN OR DISCOMFORT.

YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

GET ON THE EXAMINATION TABLE.

BARRY: OH, DOC, LOOK.

MY DAD, SEE, HE--HE WORKED THE FISHING BOATS, LOOK.... MARTIN: REALLY?

BARRY: UM, AND HE STARTED GETTING THIS--YOU KNOW, THIS TERRIBLE COUGH, YOU KNOW, BUT HE KEPT GOING, HE KEPT WORKING FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS TILL EVENTUALLY MY MUM CONVINCES HIM TO GO SEE A DOCTOR.

3 DAYS LATER, HE DROPS DEAD.

SO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SAYING HERE?

MARTIN: YES.

HE SHOULD HAVE GONE AND SEEN HIS DOCTOR SOONER.

CLIMB UP ONTO THE TABLE, AND PULL YOUR TROUSERS AND PANTS DOWN TO JUST ABOVE THE KNEE, AND PUT YOUR HANDS BY YOUR SIDE.

BARRY: GIVE ME A HAND HERE, DOC.

MARTIN: YOU DO THE PANTS.

BARRY: OK. MARTIN: DOES THAT HURT?

BARRY: NO.

MARTIN: BUT YOU’RE FEELING DISCOMFORT.

BARRY: WELL, IT’S ODD, ISN’T IT, TAKING YOUR TROUSERS OFF IN FRONT OF ANOTHER FELLA?

MARTIN: PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT--EXACTLY WHERE?

BARRY: UM, JUST SORT OF LOWER BODY REGION.

MARTIN: GROIN AREA?

BARRY: MAYBE.

MARTIN: IS IT AN ACUTE PAIN OR A DULL ACHE?

BARRY: UH, THE SECOND ONE, I SUPPOSE.

MARTIN: ANY HEADACHES OR FEVER?

BARRY: UH, THE ODD SORE HEAD, BUT THAT’S PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I’M TIRED.

MARTIN: THERE’S A LUMP ON YOUR LEFT TESTE.

IS THAT PAINFUL?

BARRY: AH.

YEAH.

MARTIN: I’LL NEED TO TAKE SOME MORE BLOOD AND URINE SAMPLES.

BARRY: CAN’T I JUST GO BACK TO WORK?

MARTIN: NO.

GERRY: YEAH, JUST DOWN AND THROUGH, OK?

JANICE: THANKS.

GERRY: SO WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM US?

REPORTER: UH, SOME ESTABLISHING SHOTS, LIFEBOAT, LIFEBOAT HOUSE.

THEN WHEN YOU LAUNCH THE RESCUE, WE’LL BE RIGHT THERE ALONGSIDE YOU, FILMING.

GERRY: WELL, MAKE US LOOK GOOD.

REPORTER: RIGHT.

THEN WE’LL INTERVIEW STEVE ABOUT THE MOON RAY.

I’M SURE YOU’RE SICK OF TALKING ABOUT IT, BUT IF YOU CAN GIVE US SOME SOUND BITES, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

STEVE: I’LL DO MY BEST.

GERRY: TIM?

DO YOU WANT TO GET THE GIRLS ON THE BOATS?

STEVE: IT’S ALL RIGHT.

I’LL DO IT.

GERRY: WELL, I WAS THINKING ONE OF THE YOUNGER LADS COULD USE THE EXPERIENCE.

STEVE: COULDN’T AGREE MORE, GERRY, BUT THIS NEWS REPORT’S ALL ABOUT THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE MOON RAY, RIGHT?

IMAGINE OUR FRIENDS FROM THE PRESS HERE WILL WANT TO GET SOME COVERAGE OF ME ON BOATS, THAT SORT OF THING.

REPORTER: SURE.

YEAH, WORKS FOR US.

JANICE: JUST TO SAY, SHOOT ME FROM MY LEFT.

IT’S MY GOOD SIDE.

NOT THAT I’M TELLING YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOBS, BUT SERIOUSLY, LEFT SIDE.

MORWENNA: SO HOW’S IT GOING UP AT AL’S, THEN?

STEVE: YEAH, WE’RE PRETTY MUCH DONE.

MORWENNA: REALLY?

BECAUSE HE SEEMS PRETTY STRESSED ABOUT IT.

STEVE: COME ON.

TRUST ME.

IT’S FINE.

MORWENNA: OH, JANICE!

GERRY: THAT’S IT.

THERE YOU GO.

JANICE: WAIT FOR ME.

MORWENNA: ALL ABOARD.

STEVE: COME ON, TIM.

JANICE: RIGHT, UM.

STEVE: NO, NO, NO.

YOU--YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.

LET--LET ME DO THAT.

MARTIN: YES.

THAT’S TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE BETA HCG HORMONE, WHICH CAN BE AN INDICATOR OF TESTICULAR CANCER.

BARRY: OH, RIGHT.

MARTIN: I’LL SEND THE SAMPLE OFF FOR, UH, ANALYSIS, BUT IF MY DIAGNOSIS IS CORRECT, YOU WILL NEED AN ORCHIDECTOMY, WHICH IS WHEN THE AFFECTED TESTICLE IS REMOVED SURGICALLY.

THEN, DEPENDING ON WHETHER YOU HAVE A SEMINOMA OR A NONSEMINOMA, YOU MAY NEED A SHORT COURSE OF CHEMOTHERAPY.

BARRY: [SIGH] SO, UM--SO I’M BUGGERED, THEN?

MARTIN: UH, NO.

I BELIEVE WE’VE CAUGHT IT IN TIME.

WITH THE CORRECT TREATMENT, YOU SHOULD MAKE A FULL RECOVERY.

BUT THIS IS ALSO THE SECOND SAMPLE TODAY TO TEST POSITIVE WITH THE SAME LEVELS OF BETA HCG.

YOU WORK WITH MR. BAKER, DON’T YOU?

BARRY: FOR HIM, YEAH.

MARTIN: DID HE PASS OFF A SAMPLE OF YOUR URINE AS HIS OWN?

BARRY: HE’S THE BOSS, AND HE JUST SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY AND, YOU KNOW, THAT I HAD TO HELP HIM OUT.

MARTIN: WHY?

BARRY: WELL, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN LATE EVERY DAY, OFF MY GAME.

MARTIN: NO, I MEAN WHY DID HE ASK YOU?

WHAT’S HE TRYING TO HIDE?

BARRY: UM.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

THE RECEPTIONIST WILL BE IN TOUCH WHEN YOUR RESULTS ARE RETURNED.

BARRY: THANKS, DOC.

MARTIN: YES.

BARRY: YOU KNOW, UH, EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE A TOSSER, BUT YOU’RE ALL RIGHT BY ME.

MARTIN: REALLY?

MR. BAKER, THIS IS DR. ELLINGHAM.

COULD YOU CALL THE SURGERY IMMEDIATELY?

I’LL BE IN MY OFFICE UNTIL 4:45.

MORWENNA: WHOO HOO!

JANICE: OH, MY GOD!

[BOTH CHEERING AND LAUGHING] MORWENNA: THIS IS AMAZING.

JANICE: FASTER, STEVE!

HA HA!

STEVE: ALL RIGHT?

JANICE: OK. STEVE: THAT’S WHERE WE’RE HEADED.

MORWENNA: STEVE?

STEVE?

STEVE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

JANICE.

STEVE!

JANIE: WHAT’S WRONG?

MORWENNA: HELP HIM UP.

JANICE: I CAN’T.

MORWENNA: STEVE.

STEVE!

JANICE: MORWENNA!

MORWENNA: HOLD ON.

[SCREAMING] OW.

JANICE...YOU OK?

JANICE: I THINK SO.

MORWENNA: UH, SEE YOU IF YOU CAN THE LIFEBOAT STATION ON THE RADIO.

UM, OH, GOD.

STEVE?

STEVE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

[STEVE SNORING] JANICE: I’M GOING TO TAKE YOUR HELMET OFF, OK?

HERE WE GO.

JANICE?

JANICE: I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.

MORWENNA: PRESS THE THING IN.

JANICE: HELLO?

HELLO?

MORWENNA: STEVE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

JANICE: HELLO?

I THINK IT’S BROKEN.

MORWENNA: WELL, KEEP TRYING.

ALL RIGHT, WE’RE GOING TO GET SOME HELP, AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE COMPLETELY FINE, I PROMISE...HOPEFULLY.

JANICE: HELLO?

MORWENNA.

REPORTER: I’M STANDING OUTSIDE PORTWENN LIFEBOAT STATION, WHERE 5 YEARS AGO TO THE DAY... GERRY: COME ON, STEVE.

REPORTER: THE BRAVE MEN OF THIS STATION PERFORMED ONE OF THE MOST DRAMATIC RESCUES OF MODERN TIMES.

STEVE BAKER, THE MAN AT THE CENTER OF THE RESCUE-- MARTIN: YES, STEVEN BAKER.

I’M LOOKING FOR STEVEN BAKER.

REPORTER: OH, UH, HE’S--JUST ASK THAT GUY IN THE BLUE JACKET.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

I’M LOOKING FOR STEVEN BAKER.

GERRY: HE’S ON HIS WAY BACK FROM TAKING THE GIRLS OUT ON THE BOAT.

MARTIN: WELL, HE SHOULDN’T BE.

HE OBTAINED A MEDICAL CERTIFICATE UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.

GERRY: YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT?

MARTIN: NO, I DON’T MAKE JOKES.

GERRY: BUT THAT WOULD INVALIDATE OUR INSURANCE.

MARTIN: WELL, I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT.

I CARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE’S TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM ME.

YOU’VE GOT TO GET HIM BACK.

GERRY: LIKE I SAID, HE SHOULD’VE BEEN BACK ALREADY.

REPORTER: ...AS THEY PLAYED OUT ON THE NIGHT OF THE RESCUE.

OHH.

GERRY: THIS IS PORTWENN STATION CALLING PWL1.

THIS IS PORTWENN STATION CALLING PWL1.

COME IN, PWL1.

STEVE, JUST ANSWER THE BLOODY RADIO!

JANICE: HELLO?

GERRY: [ON RADIO, BROKEN UP] CALLING FOR PWLI.

JANICE: HELLO?

HELLO?

UH, THIS IS JANICE.

GERRY: WE NEED TO SPEAK TO STEVE BAKER.

COME IN.

MORWENNA: [ON RADIO, BROKEN UP] THIS IS MORWENNA.

THE...CRASHED.

STEVE IS INJURED.

YOU NEED TO SEND HELP.

MARTIN: GIVE THAT TO ME.

MORWENNA.

UH, THIS IS DR. ELLINGHAM.

OVER.

MORWENNA: WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

[RADIO STATIC] MARTIN: YOU’RE BREAKING UP BADLY.

SPEAK LOUD AND FAST.

MORWENNA: UH, STEVE COLLAPSED, DOC, CRASHED THE BOAT.

MARTIN: HAVE YOU CALLED AN AMBULANCE?

MORWENNA: NO, THERE’S NO WAY OF GETTING TO THE COVE, AND THE LIFEBOAT IS [STATIC]...US.

HE’S BROKEN HIS LEG OR SOMETHING, AND--AND HE DEFINITELY ISN’T BREATHING RIGHT.

HE’S GASPING.

MARTIN: HAS HE SPOKEN AT ALL?

MORWENNA: HE’S ALL SLURRED AND GARBLED.

I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND HIM.

MARTIN: THERE WILL BE A FIRST AID KIT ON THE BOAT.

YOU NEED AN OROPHARYNGEAL AIRWAY.

IT’S A PLASTIC TUBE THAT GOES DOWN HIS THROAT.

JANIE: WHAT’S HE SAYING?

MORWENNA: SORRY, DOC, I DIDN’T CATCH ANY OF THAT.

I NEED TO GET WHAT?

MARTIN: AIRWAY!

A PLASTIC TUBE!

MORWENNA: DOC?

HELLO?

MARTIN: [ON RADIO, BROKEN UP] MORWENNA.

MORWENNA: HELLO?

MARTIN: MORWENNA.

MORWENNA: OH, STUPID THING.

JANICE: OH, GOD.

OH, GOD.

MORWENNA: DOC?

MARTIN: MORWENNA.

I NEED TO GET TO THAT BOAT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

WHAT’S THAT?

GERRY: IT’S A LIFE JACKET.

PUT IT ON.

MORWENNA: RIGHT.

THE TIDE’S COMING IN, SO WE NEED TO GET HIM ON TO THE STRETCHER, UP THE BEACH, AND INTO THE RECOVERY POSITION.

JANICE: NO.

MORWENNA: WE HAVE TO MOVE HIM.

READY?

[STEVE SCREAMS] JANICE: I CAN’T, NOT IF HE’S GOING TO SCREAM LIKE THAT.

MORWENNA: WELL, PLUG YOUR EARS, THEN, BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE A CHOICE, DO WE?

JANICE: OK, I’M SORRY.

MORWENNA: RIGHT.

UM, STEVE, WE’RE GOING TO ROLL YOU OFF THE BOAT AND ON TO THE STRETCHER.

JANICE: I’M REALLY SORRY.

[STEVE SCREAMS] MORWENNA: 3, 2, 1.

[STEVE SCREAMS] REPORTER: 42-YEAR-OLD STEVE BAKER WAS THE HERO OF THE NIGHT, SINGLE-HANDEDLY SAVING THE LIVES OF-- GERRY: I’M JUST GOING TO TAKE YOUR BOAT OUT FOR A SPIN.

THE WATER’S A LITTLE CHOPPY TODAY, YOU KNOW, JUST TO CHECK IT OUT FOR MYSELF.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO RESCUE YOU LOT, AS WELL.

JOE: EVERYTHING OK?

GERRY: FINE, JOE.

JOE: THE WATER’S NOT CHOPPY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

GERRY: HEH HEH HEH!

STEVE, UH, TOOK THE BOAT OUT ON A FRAUDULENT MEDICAL CERTIFICATE, BUT IT’S NOTHING TO GET WORKED UP OR NOISY ABOUT, OK?

JOE: THAT’S A CRIME.

GERRY: IT’S NOT A CRIME.

JOE: TAKING A BOAT OUT WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION.

THAT’S GRAND THEFT NAUTICAL.

I SHOULD COME.

RIGHT, DOC?

MARTIN: I DON’T CARE, AS LONG AS YOU DON’T GET IN MY WAY OR MAKE A NOISE.

JOE: THE DYNAMIC DUO BACK IN ACTION AGAIN.

JANICE: WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

MORWENNA: OH, I DON’T KNOW.

HE WANTED ME TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING IN THE MEDICAL KIT.

JANICE: IT’S GOING TO BE OK. MORWENNA: RIGHT.

IF THE DOC WAS HERE, HE’D BE SHOUTING, "WHAT IS THE ACTUAL PROBLEM?"

AND THE PROBLEM IS STEVE ISN’T BREATHING PROPERLY, SO WE NEED TO NEED TO HELP HIM BREATHE.

WHY DON’T THESE STUPID THINGS COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS?

JANICE: I'LL GOOGLE IT.

OH, GOD.

I’VE GOT NO RECEPTION.

I’VE NEVER HAD NO RECEPTION.

THIS IS AWFUL.

MORWENNA: IT’S ALL RIGHT.

I’VE SEEN HIM USE ONE BEFORE.

HE SORT OF SHOVED IT IN AND TWISTED IT...I THINK.

BUT WHAT IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

WHAT IF I DO MORE DAMAGE?

JANICE: WELL, YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING, RIGHT?

MORWENNA: OK. [REGULAR BREATHING] JANICE: YOU ARE TOTALLY THE DOC.

NICE ONE.

JOE: I’M FINE.

I’M FINE.

JANICE: THIS ISN’T NEARLY AS FUN AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

MORWENNA: THEY’RE HERE!

OVER HERE!

OVER HERE!

JANICE: HELP!

SAVE US!

MARTIN: OH, COME ON.

GERRY: WE’RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LAND.

IT’S TOO SHALLOW.

YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO WADE ASHORE.

GERRY: LOOK, I NEED YOU TO DROP ANCHOR FOR ME, OK?

JOE: AYE, AYE, SKIPPER.

MORWENNA: HE’S OVER HERE.

WE HAD TO MOVE HIM.

I PUT AN AIRWAY IN.

I DON’T KNOW IF THAT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

MARTIN: YES, IT WAS.

WHAT HAPPENED?

MORWENNA: HE JUST COLLAPSED, CRASHED THE BOAT INTO THE ROCKS.

MARTIN: DID HE LOSE CONTROL OF HIS ARMS?

MORWENNA: UH, HE MUST HAVE DONE, YEAH.

MARTIN: HE’S PUTTING ON WEIGHT.

HE’S GOT HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

I THINK HE’S HAD A TRANSIENT ISCHEMIC ATTACK.

IT’S LIKE A MINIATURE STROKE.

MORWENNA: OH, AND THERE’S HIS LEG.

MARTIN: WHAT?

OH, MY GOD.

HE’S BROKEN HIS TIBIA.

UH, DO YOU HAVE A SPLINT?

GERRY: WE PUT ONE ON THE LIFEBOAT.

JOE: I’M ON IT.

[STEVE COUGHING] MARTIN: MR. BAKER, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YOU’VE HAD A MINOR STROKE.

HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING ANY OTHER MEDICATION OR DRUGS THAT YOU HAVEN’T TOLD ME ABOUT?

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.

YOU DELIBERATELY DECEIVED ME OVER A URINE TEST.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE?

STEVE: I’M NOT TRYING TO HIDE ANYTHING, DOC, WAS JUST TRYING TO COMPETE.

MARTIN: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "COMPETE"?

STEVE: ALL THE YOUNG LADS LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS OVER, FINISHED.

I HAD TO SHOW THEM.

YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?

MARTIN: NO, I DON’T.

WHAT WERE YOU TAKING?

STEROIDS?

STEVE: TRYING TO KEEP MY EDGE.

MARTIN: STEROIDS ALONE WOULDN’T CAUSE THIS.

WHAT ELSE?

STEVE: EPO.

MARTIN: EPO.

WELL, THAT’S A PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUG.

THAT WOULD INCREASE YOUR OXYGEN TAKE UP AND YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE, ON TOP OF AN ANABOLIC STEROID.

NO WONDER YOU HAD A STROKE, YOU IDIOT.

STEVE: I DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE.

MARTIN: YES, YOU DID HAVE A CHOICE--JUST AS YOU HAD A CHOICE WHEN YOU DIDN’T TELL ME IT WASN’T YOUR URINE SAMPLE THAT TESTED POSITIVE FOR TESTICULAR CANCER.

STEVE: I WAS GOING TO CALL BARRY AFTERWARDS.

JUST WANTED TO SHOW EVERYONE YOU DON’T WRITE OFF STEVE BLOODY BAKER.

I SAVED THE MOON RAY, I DID.

MARTIN: OH, SHUT UP.

RIGHT.

I’M GOING TO HAVE TO RESET YOUR LEG BEFORE WE GET YOU ON THE BOAT, AND THAT’S GOING TO HURT A LOT.

TAKE HOLD OF HIM.

JANICE: I’LL GIVE YOU A HAND.

ALTHOUGH, I’VE PROBABLY GOT HYPOTHERMIA.

MARTIN: NO, YOU HAVEN’T.

JANICE: WELL, I’M DEAD COLD.

IT'S PRACTICALLY THE SAME THING.

MARTIN: BE QUIET.

ALL RIGHT.

HOLD TIGHT.

[STEVE SCREAMS] REPORTER: THERE’S SOMETHING NOT RIGHT.

THEY’RE TAKING TOO LONG.

CAMERAMAN: FUDGE?

MARTIN: WE NEED TO GET HIM ON THE BOAT.

GERRY: WE CAN’T USE THE LIFEBOAT.

THE PROPELLER WAS DOWN WHEN IT LANDED.

IT’S OUT OF ACTION.

WE’LL HAVE TO TAKE HIM BACK ON THE...FISHING BOAT.

I TOLD YOU TO DROP ANCHOR.

JOE: I DID.

GERRY: DID YOU MAKE SURE THE ANCHOR WAS CONNECTED TO THE BOAT?

MARTIN: HEY, HEY, HEY.

JOE: TO BE FAIR, YOU NEVER SAID THAT.

GERRY: FOR GOD’S SAKE, YOU IDIOT!

MARTIN: CALL FOR ANOTHER BOAT.

JANICE: NOT GOING TO GET A SIGNAL OUT HERE.

MARTIN: WELL, USE THE RADIO ON THE LIFEBOAT.

HE NEEDS URGENT MEDICAL ATTENTION.

THERE COULD BE ANY NUMBER OF COMPLICATIONS.

MORWENNA: ARE YOU OK, DOC?

MARTIN: YES.

MORWENNA: RUDE.

GERRY: RADIO’S TAKEN A BIT OF A BATTERING.

GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE IT APART, SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

JOE: HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?

GERRY: I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE 15, 20 MINUTES.

JOE: MAKE IT QUICKER.

MARTIN: HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO BE WITH THAT?

GERRY: IT WILL BE DONE WHEN IT’S DONE.

MARTIN: OH, GOD.

[RADIO STATIC] GERRY: MAYDAY.

JOE: THERE YOU GO.

JANICE: THANKS.

JOE: TRY NOT TO GET IT DIRTY.

IT’S THE ONLY ONE I GOT.

MORWENNA: WE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE.

WE SHOULD’VE JUST GONE AND HELPED AL.

DON’T REALLY WANT TO BE ON TV, ANYWAY.

JOE: HE ASKED ME TO HELP, AS WELL.

I WAS STILL ANGRY WITH HIM FOR MOVING OUT.

MORWENNA: SOME MATES WE ARE.

OH.

DOC, YOU OK THERE?

MARTIN: BE QUIET!

JANICE: YOU’VE GOT PLENTY TO LIVE FOR...PROBABLY.

MARTIN: OH, WILL YOU SHUT UP?

JOE: STEADY ON, DOC.

DON’T SNAP AT HER.

IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.

MARTIN: OH, NO, OF COURSE IT ISN’T.

IT’S NEVER ANYBODY’S FAULT, IS IT?

NOT IN THE VILLAGE OF THE IDIOTS.

GERRY: DOC.

MARTIN: CAN’T DROP AN ANCHOR OR PROVIDE A URINE SAMPLE--HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

GERRY: DOC!

MARTIN: WHAT?

GERRY: RADIO’S WORKING.

THIS IDIOT’S GOT A BOAT COMING.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

THAT’S GOOD.

>> OK. LET’S GO INSIDE NOW.

GERRY: NO, NO, NO.

THERE’S--THERE’S NOTHING TO SEE HERE, REALLY.

I JUST DON’T--DON’T... MARTIN: HE’LL NEED AN IMMEDIATE CT SCAN TO DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, WHETHER IT WAS A STROKE OR A T.I.A., AND WHETHER THERE WAS ANY DAMAGE.

[PHONE BEEPING] PARAMEDIC: ALL RIGHT, DOC.

BARRY: THANKS, MATE.

THANKS A LOT.

YOU KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, AND--AND YOU DIDN'T SAY.

STEVE: I--I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU.

BARRY: NO, I QUIT, MATE.

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN.

"THE GREAT STEVE BAKER."

TOSSER.

STEVE: NO.

NO, NO.

DON’T FILM THIS.

>> STAND BACK, PLEASE.

AL: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR AGES, BARRY.

BARRY?

OH, YEAH.

YOU LEAVE ME IN THE LURCH, AS WELL, MATE.

NICE ONE.

YOU OK?

MORWENNA: YEAH.

BOAT CRASHED, GOT STRANDED, HAD TO SAVE STEVE’S LIFE.

TYPICAL TUESDAY, ISN’T IT?

AL: WHAT?

MORWENNA: RIGHT.

ARE WE GOING TO GET THIS FARMHOUSE FINISHED OR NOT?

AL: REALLY?

OH, THANKS.

BERT: WOULD YOU LIKE AN EXTRA PAIR OF HANDS, BOY?

AL: YOU SURE?

BERT: HA!

YOU THINK I’D LET YOU DOWN, THEN?

EH, EH?

AL: WELL... MORWENNA: JOE’S GOING TO HELP, TOO.

APPARENTLY.

JOE.

JANICE: YEAH, SO A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD’VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT BEING COLD OR GETTING STUCK OUT THERE, BUT-- REPORTER: SORRY.

IS THAT--EXCUSE ME, MATE.

YOU’RE IN THE SHOT.

JOE: IT’S OK.

I WAS THERE.

I’M ACTUALLY A POLICEMAN, SO IF YOU WANT TO INTERVIEW ME FOR THE OFFICIAL STORY, HAPPY TO HELP.

REPORTER: SURE.

SURE.

GO TIGHT ON THE GIRL, AND CROP THE IDIOT.

SORRY.

YOU WERE SAYING?

JANICE: YEAH, SO ALL I WAS WORRIED ABOUT WAS GETTING THAT AIRWAY AND SAVING STEVE BAKER’S LIFE.

LOUISA ON PHONE: UM, IT’S ME.

I GUESS YOU’RE BUSY.

UM, MAYBE I’LL TRY AGAIN LATER.

[PHONE RINGING] LOUISA ON PHONE: YOU’VE REACHED LOUISA.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.

MARTIN: DR. ELLINGHAM.

WOULD YOU TELL DR. TIMONEY THAT I’M HERE, PLEASE.

WOMAN: YOU’RE 25 MINUTES LATE.

MARTIN: YES, I WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED, BUT I’M HERE NOW.

WOULD YOU TELL DR. TIMONEY, PLEASE?

RACHEL: DR. TIMONEY.

MARTIN: OH.

YOU’RE VERY YOUNG.

RACHEL: HAVE YOU BEEN FIGHTING?

MARTIN: OF COURSE I HAVEN’T.

RACHEL: WELL, YOU ARE HERE...EVENTUALLY.

SO I SUPPOSE YOU MIGHT BE SERIOUS.

COME THROUGH.

RACHEL: I ONLY HAVE TIME TO ARRANGE A SCHEDULE WITH YOU TODAY NOW.

IS THAT SATISFACTORY?

MARTIN: UM, YES.

RACHEL: I’LL NEED A PROPER COMMITMENT, ONCE A WEEK WITHOUT FAIL.

CAN YOU MANAGE THAT?

MARTIN: UM, YES, I THINK SO.

RACHEL: EITHER YOU CAN OR YOU CAN’T, DR. ELLINGHAM.

MARTIN: UM, YES.

YES, I CAN.

RACHEL: UH, THAT’S ANOTHER THING.

MY STUDY IS A PHONE-FREE ZONE, NO DISTRACTIONS.

MARTIN: I’M EXPECTING A VERY IMPORTANT CALL.

RACHEL: AND NO EXCEPTIONS.

TAKE A SEAT.

HOUSE RULES--NO SKIPPING SESSIONS, FOR WHATEVER REASON... [PHONE BUZZING] NO TARDINESS.

PUNCTUALITY IS PROOF...