Annc: Murphy Austin Adams Schoenfeld, LLP, focusing on business law and commercial litigation, is proud to support Rob on the Road - Region Rising.

More information available at murphyaustin.com.

And now, Rob on the Road, exploring Northern California.

Rob: I'm thrilled to have our guest today.

Jen Reason is the classical host at Capital Public Radio, and a phenomenal human being, and she's here with us today on Rob at Home.

Good to see you, Jen.

Jennifer: Oh!

Good to see you, Rob.

Thank you so much for having me.

Rob: I'm so glad to see you!

Jennifer: I'm so glad to see you, too!

Rob: I know, because I hear you all the time.

I hear you all the time, and it's nice to see you face-to-face.

And thank you for doing this.

Jennifer: Thank you.

So fun.

Rob: You are, uh, as we just said, the host of, uh, from ten to two, the Capital Public Radio for classical music.

You do such a good job.

Jennifer: Thank you.

I love it.

Rob: You really, really do.

Jennifer: Thank you.

It's so fun to just be able to go on air and share the music with the community, talk about music and everything that's great and wonderful about it, and know that we're having an experience together, listening together.

It's just- There's nothing like it.

Rob: Do you pick out the music?

Jennifer: I do.

I do.

Rob: You do?

Jennifer: Um, I'm not the...

I am not the only one, though.

There's also two other programmers.

So, sometimes, you'll hear my selections.

Other times, it's Mike Nelson, Kevin Doherty.

So, it's fun to kind of hear everyone's tastes.

Rob: You are a music director.

You're a piano player.

You sing, you conduct, um, and you have many facets in Northern California, when it comes to your musical outlets.

Besides Capital Public Radio, you also have several different groups.

Tell me about the groups, and we'll start with Reconciliation Singers, RSVP.

Tell us about that.

Jennifer: Oh, my true baby.

Reconciliation Singers is actually two names, and it's two names 'cause we couldn't pick.

Reconciliation Singers Voices of Peace, together, makes RSVP, and I'm- Rob: Oh, I like that.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Yeah.

That wasn't my idea.

I can't take credit for it.

That was the founding director, Julie Adams.

But I've had the group for eight years and I've sang with them for 14 already, which is crazy, but it's really a singular mission.

We use music to raise money for the needy in the community, and just kind of curate concerts that focus on one nonprofit at a time.

Maybe it's homeless-driven.

Maybe it's food insecurity.

Maybe it's a halfway house for victims of the sex trade.

You know, it gets... it gets very dark and very heavy, but at the end of the day, so uplifting.

You know, we're giving, through music, food to school kids who don't eat, otherwise.

We're seeing homeless people come off the streets and have somewhere to sleep, and it's because of the donations we get at these concerts.

So, um, to do that through a phenomenally high level of music is just the most inspiring thing I can think of, really.

Rob: And tell me about your other singing organization.

Jennifer: Rogue Music Project.

So, very, very different, there.

We're more of an opera collective and a theater collective.

So, we're doing kind of modern, re-imagined ideas of what theater can, and should be.

Like, how can opera speak to our current day issues?

How can we bring it to the people that maybe don't know they like opera yet?

A lot of people say, "Oh, I don't like opera," or, "I don't- Mmm, never seen an opera."

You know?

So, we... we bring it to them, and we make it speak to the issues that Sacramento is having, that humans are having in 2022, and make this whole grand, theatrical experience.

Maybe there's food, maybe there's drink involved, and- So fun.

Rob: Are you- Can you sing opera?

Are you an opera singer?

Jennifer: Oh, not even remotely.

I'm the pianist in that one.

I'm more of, like, the soft, jazzy, nightclub, pop, low vocalist.

Rob: So, are there any other, um, musical outlets that you would unplug before we dive in deeper?

Jennifer: Yeah, actually.

My- I have an instrumental ensemble, also.

My one instrumental is Citywater, and we're ensemble residents at Sac State, which- California University School of Music- ensemble and residents there.

But our idea is to kind of further the canon, rather than play the old dead white guys from 200 years ago, always, you know?

Like, what are we writing now?

What are the voices now?

Maybe, what are the minority voices now doing, and how can we highlight them and American sound 2022?

So that's our mission.

Rob: That is so cool.

I absolutely love that.

When I'd hear you on the radio- before I even knew about RSVP, the Reconciliation Voices of Peace- I felt like you had a reconciliation story, because I have watched you so closely, um, with interviews that you have done and you have a real gift, and you have a real, for lack of better word, calling in your life.

Jennifer: Thank you.

Rob: Do you know that?

Jennifer: That really means a lot.

Thank you very much.

I think I'm on the path of discovery, always, with that- you know, just what that means, but thank you.

Rob: What do you think it means?

Jennifer: Well, I think it...

I think it does mean what you said.

I think that what we're missing is vulnerability, um, seeing the humanity in each other, seeing the heart in each other and remembering- just remembering each other, person-to-person.

You know?

Rob and Jennifer, here.

You know, and if... and if that is something I can help guide even the tiniest little corner of Sacramento back to, then I have succeeded.

You know, and if that calling expands past that- California, the country- you know, amazing.

Amazing.

Rob: Do you feel that music has helped save you?

Jennifer: Without question.

Without question.

There's been so many times in my life, in particular, in my twenties, where navigating the situations I found myself in, or those circumstances dealt me, you know, were not navigatable if I hadn't been able to come and sit down at this piano and pour my heart and soul out, sometimes, just with my fist.

You know?

Honestly...

Rob: Wow.

Jennifer: ...just- Yeah, and... and just a space to... to yell, or a space to weep, or a space to- You know, it's not all bad either.

It's- Sometimes, the beauty's too much to express, or the happiness, or the joy, also, doesn't have anywhere to go, or it is too big, you know, and to pour that out in your instrument, also, is- I mean, if I hadn't had that, where- I didn't have my own voice, I didn't have my own words, but I did have that place to outpour it, and without that, I shutter to think, you know, which- Rob: Do you remember when you found music, or when music found you?

Jennifer: When music found me- This is an interesting story, actually, because music was brought to me as a very small child.

So, I would always sit at my mom's piano and just play, and they thought that I had an inclination for it.

Right?

So, I started lessons when I was four, but it was very, like, "You will study piano."

I didn't want to practice.

I didn't want to play piano.

She was a very mean mother for making me play piano when I wanted to be outside.

You know?

And we went to this amazing, amazing church, at the time.

It was full- Think, like, gospel.

Like, gospel gospel, and we were one of, like, three white families, and I got to go up on the stage and I was just this little, little white girl.

I was 12, you know?

And there's, like, these wonderful, soul-filled Black men and me, and I just happened to know the chords, 'cause I played piano and it was, like, "Wait.

I think I do like this.

Maybe I will do this."

You know?

And then- Rob: Because you found it where it was fun.

Jennifer: Where it was fun!

And they danced, and it was without reservation, and they sang from the top of their lungs.

And then, I got $25, you know, for playing and it... it just- It rocked my whole... my whole world, and I don't think I looked back from there.

And I went there, and the artistry and the skill was just as high, but it was with abandon, and I started to realize that, "Oh my God, why are we making these rules and boxing each other up?

And why are we saying classical is the most elevated, when I can't breathe, sometimes, sitting there so still?"

You know?

So, it started me down this path of "What if it's just music?"

and "What if it's just humans?"

and "What if this is the life experience together?"

We could just all get over ourselves a little bit, and just let go.

Rob: And where did it go from there, with you?

And... and how has it shaped- How has music shaped your life?

Jennifer: Well, from there, I was absolutely lucky enough to go to Sac State early, and start with my lifelong teacher, my lifelong mentor, Richard Cionco.

So, as a young teenager, he was such an inspiration and such a mentor and such a guide.

And, uh, lucky enough to go to Europe multiple times with him in the summer, and that was just kind of the natural next step in the whole process, was different cultures, different countries, people that didn't look like me at all, didn't remotely speak the same language, went home to a very different lifestyle, and here we are on stage and we're going to make this art product together.

And we may not even be able to talk about it, but here we are, and it's amazing and it's successful and it's deep and it's real, and it's a connection on a very, very different level.

So, that first time to Italy, let me tell you, I was like, "Oh, definitely want to do this."

Rob: That's amazing.

Jennifer: Mmhmm.

Rob: So, with music being the through line of... of your life- Uh, it seems.

Jennifer: Yes, absolutely.

Rob: Um, has it brought you more highs or lows?

Jennifer: Ooh now, that's a really, really good question.

Like all things, I think it's really complicated, like that yin and the yang, you know?

I definitely hit a time in my life where I needed to step away entirely, because not everyone is open.

You know, not everyone is vulnerable.

Not everyone is in it for heart and humanity.

We all know the dark side stories of this business, you know, and sometimes, it's hard to make money.

Sometimes...

Rob: Yeah.

Jennifer: ...it's a very fickle business, you know what I mean?

And you're- "Maybe I don't want to eat ramen today."

It's a- It can be very feast or famine, even just financially.

Right?

So, I hit a wall, probably, right around 28, where I was just like, "I...

I don't think this does it for me anymore, and I don't think I have anything more to say, and I'm discouraged, and I'm going to go try an office job.

Thank you."

You know?

And I lasted about two years...

Rob: Wow.

Jennifer: ...and, yeah, I was dying inside.

Like, I realized my soul will wither and pass.

You know what I mean?

And this is- I'm denying- kind of what you said earlier- denying whatever this calling is.

Even if I haven't found the specific outlet, it's killing me to not do it.

So, I walked away without any plan and said, "All right, universe, like, then, make it happen, 'cause-" Rob: And what happened?

Jennifer: And here we are.

Here we are!

I'm talking to you!

Rob: And what happened after that two years when you walked away?

Jennifer: Well, it was... it was a little bit hard for maybe a year and a half, but, like, the universe provides.

You know what I mean?

I genuinely believe that if you honor these leanings and these callings and you're brave, it just- People said, "Oh, you're back!

Oh, you're back!

Yay.

Here's this gig.

Here's this gig.

Do you want this position?"

The radio, even- I never thought in a million years I would talk on the radio, and they said, "Hey, you've got a great voice.

Do you want to talk on the radio?"

You know?

So, like, the universe provided in a way that I just couldn't have possibly imagined.

Rob: What did it take for... for the universe to provide?

What did you have to do?

Jennifer: I had to get willing.

I had to be willing to sacrifice two things, and one was "good enough."

You know, like, I had a nice little house.

I had a nice job.

It was very secure.

Everyone said, "Good job.

You've got benefits and retirement."

Very safe.

So, I had to be willing to believe that there was more and better than that.

You know?

And then... and then, to be brave, and risk, and take that leap of faith.

It's enough to know that, you know?

And then, you got to do it.

Rob: So, you had to show up.

Jennifer: Had to show up.

Exactly.

Scared, and shaking and, like, "Uh-oh," you know?

But it's enough, that first step is enough.

Rob: And after that, is that where all of these wonderful outlets that you have now began to take place?

Jennifer: Every single one.

Rob: Really?

Wow!

Jennifer: Yup.

Yup.

Rob: That's amazing.

Jennifer: Isn't it?

Rob: That is absolutely amazing.

Tell me about- I want to...

I want to dive into RSVP, and you performed a song.

Y'all, listen to this, the title is called "Sing Me to Heaven."

Just that, alone, is mind-boggling.

Jennifer: We wept openly, the first time we sang through that song.

Rob: I believe it.

In fact, do you remember?

We were at a- We... we were sharing the stage for this and it was a party, and then this beautiful song begins to play.

And, of course, it's a party, so, everyone's doing their thing, and missing this performance.

And so, we just stopped and brought the whole room to attention, and you gave a command performance, and you could hear a pin drop.

Jennifer: It's that moment on stage where you feel like everyone's breath is right here and you're holding it, together.

I will never forget that.

Rob: And the reason I bring that up is because that was happening, and everybody was standing there and not even knowing.

We can consciously choose to tune in to different things that are happening around us that can impact our lives, and we can turn off the noise, and we can turn up the melody that might be the better way to the dissonance we're feeling inside.

Jennifer: Oh, you are preaching!

Rob: And... and I just feel like you do that so well.

How do you always find music to do that?

Jennifer: Thank you.

That's- You know, and it's... it's challenging, actually, because I think it's... it's a very active choice to turn down the dissonance, you know, as you said, and you can choose not to.

And that's the problem, you know, and sometimes, dissonance is more comfortable and sometimes, um, distraction is more comfortable, and feeling and vulnerability and all of these things, reconciliation, even, can be what's uncomfortable and what we're trying to avoid.

So, there's gotta be an active choice for that, too, but it's the same thing as when the universe provided opportunity, it's- When you stop and you say, "Okay, what's it going to be?"

it comes.

I, honestly, Rob, almost never have to seek these things out.

It's almost always, when I've made the space in the silence, it pops up.

I'll say, "Oh, well, that's it."

Rob: Wow.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Rob: What would you want music to say for you, that you feel like you can't?

Jennifer: "...that I-" Wow, "...that I can't."

That is a very profound question, to think about that.

Well, I think it's...

I think it's things that I can say, but the words don't have the weight, if that makes sense.

I want to say, "See each other."

And we can say, "Love your neighbor," all day long.

You know what I mean?

And "Celebrate each other's humanity," and these things that are quickly becoming tropes, and quickly becoming empty verbiage.

That's a thing I can say, but I want the music to reinflate it, and to reinvigorate, and to highlight what those words actually mean, in a way that you cannot deny, because you're feeling it here.

Rob: Mmm, I just got it.

I just got it, what you were saying, and that is that music is not a performance.

Music is a revelation.

It reveals.

Um, you don't just listen to something and... and are performed and entertained.

You are changed.

Jennifer: If you're doing it right.

Rob: So, for people who may not feel what we're talking about- okay?

and that's okay... Jennifer: That's okay.

Rob: ...um, what would you say to someone who is feeling a void in their life, and what could music possibly do for them?

Jennifer: Your questions are so good!

They're so good!

Rob: I appreciate that, but what would you- You know, someone who... who has that void- What would you say?

Jennifer: Well, A, don't fight it.

Don't judge yourself for it.

I think that's the first step, is we kind of self-flagellate, you know, and we just are awash in all of these "shoulds," and there's this void.

"I shouldn't have a void.

I should fill it."

All of these things.

I think the first step is to just sit with it, and allow it, and say, "Yes, there's a void.

It's not bad.

It's not good.

It's not wrong.

It's not right.

It's just what is," and see what door that opens, first.

Just- And from there, I think, stillness.

Honestly, I think stillness is the answer of, just, be with it, sit, don't fight it.

Don't try to even find the solution, and see what comes 10 minutes later, or 15 minutes later, or- You know, maybe, from there, you put your toe in to, "Oh, I heard this was a beautiful piece.

Maybe I will just sit for five minutes, not- release all expectations, release all control of it, and just breathe."

And see what happens.

Rob: Try something new.

Jennifer: Yeah!

Rob: That's what happened for you.

You got exposed to a different type of music.

Jennifer: Oh, and it was terrifying.

Right?

I didn't feel like I even had any right to be there, let alone try to... to contribute, you know?

So, to- That's... that's another part of the being brave, you never know... you never know what's out there that might be infinitely better than what you're sitting with right now.

Rob: I am curious.

If... if you could share what matters most to you, what matters most... Jennifer: In life?

Rob: ...in life, what would it be?

Jennifer: Well, we only have, as far as we know, this one time around the sun, and only these few short minutes together.

So, to have true intimacy with another human soul that's walking the same journey as you, to be as genuinely connected as you possibly can be for this one conscious moment that we know we have, that's what matters most to me.

Rob: That's beautiful.

That's beautiful, Jen.

You know, um, I love to- and I beg to do this, because it's so important that we put things out to the public that feed... that feed people, um, and we need that, um, as a people.

We just need it.

Jennifer: I think my reconciliation story is actually with music, and losing... losing it, hating it, resenting it.

Rob: For those two years.

Jennifer: Yeah, for those two years, and, um, feeling like it failed me, feeling like it abandoned me, feeling like sense of self and voice had gone with it and it wasn't coming back, and didn't care and- You know?

And to find my way back to it, I think that is the reconciliation.

Rob: Wow.

I didn't expect that, and that's actually so powerful because, when you reconciled, look what happened.

Jennifer: Exactly.

Exactly.

Rob: And that's why reconciliation is worth it.

Jennifer: Oh, worth all of the hard and all of the comfortable, that's just temporary- uncomfortable- that's- Rob: Reconciliation doesn't necessarily mean, um, you know, there- It- I...

I akin that to, um, forgiveness, but forgiveness is not just a, uh- It... it... it is something you do for yourself.

You free yourself, but it also does not make you a doormat, but it makes you an open door.

Jennifer: Exactly, and God, is that a difference!

Rob: It's a huge difference, because you release- It's like carrying somebody around on your back, um, that doesn't even know they're there.

It can be that heavy, and when you reconcile with something in your heart, you can be set free.

And you are so lucky to be able to do that and to help people do that, daily, on their journeys in life.

I think- And I've been places where I've seen people listening to you.

Um, before the pandemic, um, you know, going into a nursing home, and I've seen someone alone in their room listening to you.

Yeah.

Jennifer: God!

Rob: I've seen your blessing in action.

You're there working, but I've out- been out and seen it, on the road.

And it's beautiful to see how wide and deep your reach is.

Jennifer: That is amazing of you to say.

That really impacts me.

You know, that made me think of a call I got- this was probably two years ago- that was so incredibly moving and, of course, I didn't know the woman, but she said that they had listened to my show every day for a year, as her husband was passing.

And he happened to actually pass as I was talking and as- And then, I played one of their favorite pieces, completely unknowingly, obviously, but she calls me, and she called me weeping, and said that it was a gift beyond measure that I had given her, and I had been their companion, all completely unbeknownst to me.

And that would always be a part of their family, in some way, and I had to go outside and take a break in the parking lot, and cry in my car.

You know, because I was just so, like, "Lord!"

The... the impact- I have chills, just now- you know, the... the impact...

Rob: I do to...

I'm covered... Jennifer: ...is so much greater.

I know!

Rob: Wow.

Jennifer: You know, and- Ah!

And that's the one person that did call and, like, the people you mentioned, no idea, there, either.

So, we just don't know how much of an effect we can have on each other, for good, you know?

Rob: You can find Jen, uh, at CapRadio, ten to two, on Capital Public Radio, classical music, um, as well as all over social media, but I have to say that, Jen Reason, you are really a shining light in our region, and I see why you are one of the most popular hosts in Northern California.

I'm so grateful to know you and to have you on the show.

Jennifer: So, so grateful as well.

Rob, thank you so much.

Rob: Yes, we will talk to you soon.

I'll be talking to you.

You won't know it.

I talk to you on the radio, but, um- Jennifer: I love it.

Rob: ...like so many people, but, uh, it's good to see you, and you can see us next week, right here, at the same time on Rob at Home, or Rob on the Road, and we hope you continue to enjoy PBS KVIE and Jen Reason, as well, at Capital Public Radio.

We'll see ya.

Annc: Murphy Austin Adams Schoenfeld, LLP, focusing on business law and commercial litigation, is proud to support Rob on the Road - Region Rising.

More information available at murphyaustin.com.