- [Announcer] Murphy Austin Adams Schoenfeld LLP, focusing on business law and commercial litigation is proud to support "Rob on the Road: Region Rising".

More information available at murphyaustin.com.

- [Narrator] Robert Paylor was a rising rugby star at Cal Berkeley when a devastating injury during a national championship game left him paralyzed from the neck down.

Doctor said he'd never walk again, but Robert had other plans.

Now he's not only walking, he's sharing his powerful story in a brand new book.

- [Announcer] And now "Rob on the Road, Exploring Northern California."

- Joining me now is one of my favorite people.

Robert Paylor, author, inspirational speaker, and so much more.

Robert, it is great to see you back here five years later after we first spoke.

I can't believe that.

- I can't believe either, but I'm so excited.

My smile is like gonna fly off my face.

I'm so excited about this.

- I'm so glad to see you, Robert.

Just wow, so much has happened in five years.

And most importantly, you have stepped forward.

And I mean that literally.

Tell me about your journey of overcoming quadriplegia.

How the world did you do this?

- There's so many ways and so many factors that contributed to this journey.

I mean, on day one, my doctor said I would never walk again.

I'd never move my hands.

He said I'd be lucky if I could feed myself again one day.

And like, think I'm 20 years old, whole life ahead of me, thinking that it might be over.

But I wouldn't quit.

I wouldn't give up.

I mean, there's just that effort component that you have to have in a situation like this.

You gotta get up and you gotta do the work.

But I've been so blessed with just an amazing community of people helping me throughout this whole journey.

And you know, it's amazing how news cycles work.

You know, a lot of times a lot of people get really interested in a story in the beginning, but then sometimes they fade out.

And here we are eight years later.

It's just incredible the support that I keep getting to this day.

So I am not going to be giving up, but it's amazing the recovery I have.

I mean, I'm like moving my whole upper body now.

I'm talking like an Italian here, moving my hands everywhere.

Robert.

- Yeah, it's amazing.

- That alone, the last time we spoke, you could not do that with both of your arms.

- I know, it's amazing.

And like my finger dexterity, it's like almost full return I've had in my upper body.

And it was just a little over a week ago, I walked 500 yards straight in my house.

Like one continuous, about 500 yards.

It's a miracle.

- [Rob] That is really overwhelming to see you moving.

- I know, it's amazing.

I'm so lucky.

- And when this happened, Robert, you know, my gosh.

I mean, you're a big guy.

It's like, 6'5", right?

- That's right, 6'5".

When I was playing rugby, I was 245.

- And that's a big person playing hard with rugby.

Rugby champ, Cal State total champ.

That's you.

And then the horrible accident happens.

By the way, where did all of that end up?

- In terms of like the fallout of the legalities of play?

It's been such a journey and-- - Is it anything you even want to talk about?

- Absolutely.

- Okay.

- Like the journey of forgiveness was so difficult because what happened to me was illegal.

I was bound around my neck and my head was driven into the turf, which caused my forehead to press against my chest.

I had my nose in my sternum, which snapped my neck, paralyzed.

And when I was looking at pictures and videos of what happened to me, I was filled with hate and rage like I can't even describe because it's not like I just couldn't walk from point A to point B. I couldn't feed myself, I couldn't breathe on my own.

I couldn't go to the bathroom, I couldn't shower.

And it seemed like the rest of my life was not gonna get much better in that point.

That's what the doctors were telling me.

And to think that all of it was because of the actions of another person filled me with a rage I just can't describe.

And to make matters worse, he's never reached out to me.

Eight years later, he's never said he's sorry.

And being that my faith is very important to me, I knew right away that my answer, my call was to forgive everyone regardless of what they do to me, and regardless of how much anger I feel.

So to be honest, in the beginning, it was like a fake it till you make it kind of thing, where I said I forgave him even though I didn't really feel it internally.

But as I said those words and time went on, time was kind of allowed to run its course.

And slowly, just bit by bit, the anger goes down, and I slowly reached that internal peace in my life.

I think that's just a life lesson for all of us, that forgiveness isn't just a feeling of peace, it's also a decision.

We can make that decision regardless of how we feel.

And forgiveness is not all about others and it's not about removing their guilt.

Forgiveness is really about us.

It's really about freeing ourselves from those negative attachments.

That's just such a journey that I went on, and I truly do forgive this person.

I've completely moved on, and I can look ahead of me 'cause that's where I'm going.

- And it was deemed to be completely inappropriate.

- Yeah, it was.

You cannot drag someone down by their head and render them a quadriplegic.

It's just not the game of rugby.

- Let's pivot to your purpose and your passion today because that's what this is about.

Your book is amazing, "Paralyzed to Powerful."

First of all, the title of the book.

Tell me about it.

- Oh yeah.

You know, this is something that it took me a while to kind of think about this 'cause you have a story like this and you really want to do it justice in that title.

But I think the title really gives a good sense of what this journey is.

On one hand, it's my story.

It's going from that state of paralysis, neck down paralyzed on the turf, told I'd never walk or move my hands again, to where here I am to now, sharing the story, moving my body in lengths that I was told I would never do again.

And being able to help others through their challenge, which is what leads to kind of the other double meaning of this title, that we all have something that paralyzes us.

I mean, think grief, think loss, think despair, anxiety.

These are all things that can paralyze us that we deal with in some degree.

So this book is about helping that reader identify and then overcome what paralyzes them through my story and through these tools that have helped me in battling quadriplegia.

- And you do that in this book so beautifully because yes, it is your story, but it is your story to freedom.

It is your story to peace-- - The power too.

- And the power of it.

And the power of the journey.

Please hear this the right way, anyone watching, but if Robert can do this on the news that he was given, we all can do this.

We truly can.

And by this I mean move through whatever is paralyzing you today because our brains can paralyze us as strong as our bodies.

- Absolutely.

- And we can be moving in a meaningless way because we are experiencing a paralysis from, like you said, grief, anxiety, depression, a diagnosis which, in this case, proved a diagnosis was not a destiny for you.

- Mm-hm.

- What about your book, because you are an inspirational motivational speaker, what about your book was the most cathartic for you?

- It was really going back into that moment, the first day that I broke my neck.

- Because you really take us there in the book.

You go there.

- Yeah, I go as deep as I possibly can.

I shared stories that I've never shared publicly before.

Like, the feelings I had when my family came onto the field.

My parents were at the game when I broke my neck.

And I remember my mom coming behind me and my dad coming down to his knees, to my side, grabbing my hand and I can't feel it.

And the phone calls that I made to my closest friends when I was told that I should go into a spinal fusion surgery and I might not survive.

And my brother holding that phone, being the strongest person in the room on that day, being able to type those messages, hold that phone in front of me so I can make those phone calls.

All without breaking down, without shedding a tear, giving me that strength that I didn't have at the time but I needed from him.

That was difficult for me.

I mean, it was not easy to go back into those moments and really create that strong mental picture in my mind that I can give to someone else, but it was so important.

And I think it's only in that intense darkness that we're really able to appreciate this beautiful light that's come from all of it.

So there's no doubt that was the worst day of my life, but I wanted to share it in great detail because it's through that struggle that I've been able to just achieve immense power and strength in my life.

- You are a beautiful writer.

You have a way of taking us into some seriously painful moments intentionally.

At least it appears intentionally to me because you know that if you can take your story into someone's heart, then you can carry their heart through the story of forgiveness and growth, and power, and all of that.

I just think it's amazing how you have this gift to do this.

And eight years to the day, it came out.

- Yeah, exactly.

May 6th, 2025.

All the way from May 6th, 2017 when I was on that turf.

- So what is your favorite, because there are so many beautiful chapters, not only in this journey of recovery for you.

And by the way, congratulations on your wedding.

- Thank you, thank you.

So excited.

Got the bling on the finger now.

- [Rob] You're a married man now since the last time we talked on air.

And I'm so happy for you, and she must be one amazing person.

- She is so much cooler than me, Rob.

She is the best.

I am the luckiest man in the world.

- That's awesome.

I'm so happy for you.

And that's a beautiful chapter for you.

And talk to me about one of the most poignant chapters in your book that really helped you move to the next level in life.

- You know, it's the last chapter, "True Success."

And in that chapter, I really tried to make it this like full circle moment where you take together this picture of everything that me as a writer and the reader have been through and going through this journey and these tools, these lessons learned and applying them.

I'd lay out all those tools really succinctly just try to like give these tools, put 'em in your tool belt, use them throughout your entire life and draw back to that.

But in the end, I talk about this sense of true success because my goal on day one, and still is my goal in this recovery, is to never need my wheelchair again.

One day I want to stand up out of it and never sit down into it again.

Whether that's with a walker, a cane, crutches or nothing at all, that's my goal.

And here I am, eight years later, I'm still in a wheelchair.

I'm sitting in a wheelchair right now.

And in fact, statistics say that, regardless of how hard I work, I will spend the rest of my life in this wheelchair.

I might not achieve that goal that I set.

And I gotta think, does that mean that I'm a failure?

Does that mean that this injury got the best of me?

And I think the answer is absolutely not because this injury never changed who I am.

And as I reflect on everything that I've been through and what's in front of me in my life, success is not about those physical accomplishments, those accolades.

I think true success that we should all strive for is being able to wake up each day with positivity, purpose, and gratitude.

I think if we have those three things, then we are successful.

And it's good to have ambitious goals, it's good to push for them.

And I will get outta this wheelchair one day or I will die trying, mark my words.

But within all that, I'm not gonna let the joy and the purpose I have in my life pass me by.

I think that's what's really brought my success out in this journey.

- You know, every day, and many days you would post videos of your progress.

And I've been glued to them for years.

And you can see the growth in your life unfolding.

But one thing I saw the entire time, no matter what stage you were in standing, was that you were still standing, solid in who you are.

You are always, like you said, positive, gratitude, purpose, those things that will save your life.

We watched them save yours and you put that on display for the world to see.

To me that's phenomenal, Robert.

- Thank you.

I mean, it's I think another thing that I want to add into that is like humor, and like finding some light in all this darkness.

And I think about this like on the first day after my injury, you know, I have surgery, I wake up, and my friends are kind of seeing like, what's Robert's state gonna be like?

I think they were really expecting just a completely broken version of me.

And I remember my first friend comes in, his name is Tyler Douglas.

We were on the rugby team together, and he got into business school over at Cal, which is not an easy thing to do, and I was working towards that application.

And as a part of it, there's like an essay component that you do.

And he comes in the room, one of the first things I say is, "Tyler, I'm going to be able to write a heck of an application essay now."

This is gonna be like the story to end all's stories.

And I think like that's something that often gets overlooked that I'm really proud of, just maintaining that humor throughout it all.

When people came in that hospital room, it wasn't like Robert, the quadriplegic, or Robert, the guy who can't move his limbs.

It was just Robert.

It was just me.

And I think that's something I'm so excited about.

And like you said, I stood throughout it all in those ways that I think in a lot of ways when people were really expecting me to lean on them that they were able to lean on me in some regards because of having that humor and that really positive attitude through it all.

- And ultimately the reason that people were able to come in to see you in that state and in that moment is because it was all, you purposely set this platform to be one of, this is going to be a journey in a road that I'm going to travel, and you've led the way with positivity.

Now I know that there are dark moments.

We all go through them.

- Certainly.

- And so I don't think we need to marinate on that part, but I would like to marinate on the part of getting out of them.

When you have one of those moments, how do you get out of it?

I know you listed your three pillars, but can you walk me through how you do that?

- I think so much of it comes down to perspective.

I think perspective is the key to positivity.

It's the key to perseverance.

When I have a dark moment, and trust me, I have a lot, where I'm looking around, I see a lot of seemingly able-bodied people who are walking.

They're doing something I've worked so hard to be able to achieve, and I'm just not quite there yet, I have to look outside of myself.

And I don't look at videos of puppies and rainbows, I'll look up stories of cancer patients, complete quadriplegics, homeless people, veterans who come back from war without limbs, people who are going through terrible situations.

Something I don't think anybody should ever have to go through.

But I look at them explain how they make their lives happen every day.

A lot of times they have a smile on their face.

And I just think, remind me not to complain about anything ever again.

And I use this saying that really helps me when I need that quick perspective shift.

And I recommend we all use it.

The saying is, "Compared to what?"

So I'll say I'm going through a lot right now, but compared to what?

There's a lot that I can do.

There's a lot that I do have.

Now the saying is not meant to dismiss our challenges.

I think it's really unhealthy if we just dismiss our challenges, it will never go away.

But what that saying is meant to do is put our challenges into perspective to help us realize that what we go through is overcomeable.

There's so much that we can achieve.

I think perspective is a tool.

It's like a muscle that we really ought to develop, and just changes the whole way that we see the world.

- Perspective can destroy you or it can deliver you.

- Yes.

- Expectations can wipe you out or they can set you free.

And so many times when I'm struggling in that search for perspective is I try to step outta my body and look at my life from a 30,000-foot level, right?

And just say, "Okay, what's really going on here?"

And I think about what you just said about getting out of those dark moments and seeing other people around you who maybe taking walking for granted.

I have to point out that when you say compared to what, because I know you that you don't say compared to this because journeys are hierarchical, because they're not.

- Right.

Right.

- You say it in a way of, compared to what?

And you go internal.

And I do believe with all of my heart that it goes back to the forgiveness.

Had you not cleared your mind, it would've been hard to clear your path.

- I would've been looking backwards.

I would've been looking in the past if I didn't go through that journey of forgiveness.

And I certainly don't think I would be able to look outside myself.

I think when you have that really sincere empathy and are connecting, make an intentional effort to connect with the struggles of someone else that we're able to move on, that we're able to just really experience the most beautiful part of the human experience, which is that community, and which is really the source of our strength.

- What has been something that has actually made your life better in spite of it?

- Yeah.

It is purpose.

It's meaning in my life.

And to be honest, Rob, I wouldn't even wish this away.

And if I had the genie and the lantern and had my three wishes, wishing that this never happened to me would not be a part of it.

Now, let me give you a caveat there.

Do I wanna walk again?

Heck yeah.

I work at that every single day.

But do I wish that none of this happened?

Absolutely not.

When I think of the conversations I've had with people who are saying, "Robert, I have stage four cancer.

I've battled through suicidal ideations.

I'm dealing with loss of a son or daughter or a loved one in my life.

I'm in really the darkest valley I've ever been in my life.

And it's your perseverance and your positivity that's helping me get through it," I think how could I possibly wish that away?

It's my purpose in my life.

It's my meaning in my life.

And I wouldn't have been able to do any of this if I didn't have my injury.

So my injury has taken a lot away from me.

Trust me, my life is not easy, and I don't get a second of a break from paralysis.

But it's through that suffering that I've been given a gift, and it's a gift that I can share with other people.

So I've dedicated my entire life to taking this injury, which many people would think would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me, and turning it into that gift that I can share with other people.

It is just my utmost meaning and purpose in my life.

- That is so beautiful.

And I have to say personally, when I have tough moments and I think about you, I don't think about you in pity, I think about you in promise When I said earlier that if Robert Paylor can get through this, we all can, it wasn't in a way of something that was to limit and a growing point, it was the opposite.

It was that you have set the bar so high on what can be accomplished in life that we can reach that, no matter where we're coming from.

- That just warms my heart so much.

And I appreciate you saying that.

- [Rob] I mean it.

- Yeah, that you don't feel pity in it.

And like, that's what I want.

I don't want anybody's pity, I want them to be inspired.

I want them to see the fruits of this.

And I share my weaknesses very vulnerably, these physical weaknesses that I have and these dark moments I've had in my life because they are the source of my greatest strength.

I wouldn't have these strength is if it wasn't for those weaknesses and those tough points in my life.

So I share them not as a source of pity.

And when I look back at them, I don't see it as a source of sorrow, I see it as great pride to say like, "I was there and I did that."

And I still can't wrap my head around it sometimes.

But it was real, it happened.

And look where I am today.

It's just amazing how things have turned out.

- It is an eyeopener to where I have my eyes closed.

- Yeah, I love that.

- That's what your book does.

It really in the most beautiful way illustrates where I need to do something to improve my own path.

And not a judgmental way, but in a way that makes you realize the road you're walking.

And I am so grateful that you have been willing to be a guide for so many people, including me.

- Thank you, Rob.

It goes both ways.

So much of my gratitude goes to you for always shining this light on this story and always being in my corner.

I just, I'm so appreciative.

- You'll always have a place and a platform with me.

That is for sure.

- Thank you.

- Robert, I love you.

- I love you too, Rob.

I do.

- I really do.

And before we wrap, I have to ask you, is there anything that you feel must be shared that is burning on your heart, that if we stopped and moved on with our day that you wish you would've shared?

- Hmm, i think it's right now, open your eyes, and realize how lucky you are.

Life is such a gift, and this journey showed me that life can change in an instant.

And you can be a D1 athlete competing for a national championship in one point, and you can be in a hospital but not able to move anything in another point.

That's not a reason to go bubble wrap all over our body before we go outside.

It's a reason to really appreciate what we have right now.

Don't ever let a normal day pass you by.

Appreciate it.

Show gratitude for it.

Life is a gift, and I will spend the rest of my life sharing that.

I'm so grateful that I have this time and each day I do to share that purpose with others.

- I'm grateful too.

Robert Paylor, thank you.

We'll talk again soon.

I can't wait to talk to you about your next adventure, whatever that means.

- Me too, Rob.

So much love.

Thank you so much for having me.

- You too.

Thanks Robert.

Robert Paylor right here on "Rob on the Road."

- [Announcer] Thanks for joining us.

You can watch when you want at robontheroad.org - [Announcer] Murphy Austin Adams Schoenfeld LLP, focusing on business law and commercial litigation, is proud to support "Rob on the Road: Region Rising."

More information available at murphyaustin.com.