And now Rob on the Road, exploring Northern California.

I could not be more excited to introduce our guest today.

He is a champion in many different definitions.

And today, I call him a champion human being.

Joining us from Northern Ireland is Thomas Stewart, the wonderful champion from the Sacramento Republic FC, soccer player, or, as you call it, Tommy, "footballer," across the sea.

And, uh, wonderful new music in your life as well.

All of this is coming up.

But first, from Northern Ireland, it's great to see you, Tommy.

Rob, absolute pleasure.

Thank you so much for having me.

And I...

I know it's been a bit of a- We've been looking to do this for a while now.

Delighted to have that opportunity with you now, and I hope it won't be too long before I see you in person again.

So, catch us up.

How are you doing?

I know big news just came out, um, in your life, announcing your retirement from soccer, from the football league.

You've won just about every award you can think of, when it comes to soccer, especially in the Irish League, um, and you're retiring.

Yeah, it still feels a bit weird, um... that word doesn't sound right, but yeah- - And you're 35.

- 35.

Yes.

I still feel like I'm 27, 28 in my body, but I still feel great.

I try to look after myself.

But I think, um, I was trying to be smart, make a calculated decision.

And it's something obviously that I...

I've...

I've worked on in the background and I have a passion for, for coaching, um, and then obviously getting to work in the media to connect with different people and... and different levels of the game.

Um, it's certainly something that I wanted and always had an eye on, to make sure I looked forward to, and had something to go straight into whenever this time came, to- that I retired from... from playing.

I certainly- I...

I do miss playing and I'm looking forward to catching up with some team just to kick a ball around a field with soon.

But I'm really enjoying the coaching side of things and really trying to put, um, a lot of attention and care into the next generation and build those players up, um, individually and collectively.

You know, you... you really made a huge mark, a lifelong mark, when you came to Sacramento.

It was 2014 and Sacramento was just swept by the soccer madness and, frankly, still is, because of the hard work that you and your teammates did, but particularly you.

You were a shining star from the beginning, because, in my opinion, it wasn't just your actions, uh, on the... the soccer field, but it was... it was how you worked with this community.

You worked with so many kids, with schools, with families.

You were always one of the last ones there signing any kid who wanted their- your autograph.

I mean, you were always there.

And that just really struck a chord with people, and you are talked about to this day.

Hey, that's- You're giving me goose bumps saying that.

I really appreciate those words.

Um, it's really nice to hear those words, honestly.

So, thank you, uh, first and foremost.

Um, I think that's the big thing that really made me feel, um, really in control of everything, and in control of my football, in control of my off-the-field life, was the community in Sacramento and how well-received I was.

Um, and I was only too happy to help in whatever way I could.

I knew it was a... a new team and a new team needs, um, a structure, um, a culture, um, a fan base.

But you're only as good as the people around you.

You know, I can...

I can bring a town, but it's not going to work unless it has everything else in order, and it has everything else to... to get great success.

And I...

I truly believe, um, it's a club that's just going to keep making, uh, strides forward and... and keep breaking records, hopefully.

I...

I played my part, of course.

I tried to play my part.

And I think there's a saying- "If... if things are right off the field, things will be right on the field."

And it's just always stuck with me.

And the older I got, the more... was on me.

I felt like trying to encourage anybody that had money to go and watch me, basically.

You know?

You know, there was fans there.

There was little kids.

There was not just young boys there.

There was boys and girls.

There was families.

Um, it was different than any team I'd played at before, because not only was it a welcoming environment, it was new- I'm sure, sometimes, you know, over in England or in... in the UK and Europe, there can be some pretty nasty, um, shouts or... or chants or... or themes and maybe you don't feel as welcome.

That wasn't the case in Sacramento and it was so- such a diverse group.

I mean, I believe we had 14 different nationalities as well.

So, you look at those kind of components and it brings together a kind of team, uh, unity.

And, as well as that, you've got fans that have your back no matter what.

And for us, they've gone on to deliver.

I- was so, so important for me, but, certainly, you touched on, um, the community and going to schools and signing autographs for people and, uh, hospital visits.

I- Yes, I...

I did quite a lot of that, but I wish I could have done even more because that... that was truly what... what made me thrive.

That really gave me a real passion for not just playing football, but, you know, the... the city itself.

And it's definitely the best place I've ever been to.

Oh, that's... that's amazing to hear because I...

I know that that is the same feeling that people here have about you.

It... it... it was just- It's the- It was the perfect, um, marriage of a... of a player and a place becoming one.

And the hearts that you touched from what you did here are still, uh, shining today.

And I think that- In your life, I hope that has helped serve you, because, you know, we... we talked about how, um, it felt like a family here for you.

So, I remember you and I were talking at the 2014 championship afterparty, and you said, "Hold on, I have to go get my mom."

And you went and got her and brought her over, and then we all did a big picture and you introduced me to her.

- That's right, yeah.

I remember.

Yeah.

- And she was beaming.

Just beaming.

And I am so sorry, um, that she passed away.

Yeah.

I- Uh, yeah.

She was a massive supporter of mine, um, and obviously- I think that's obviously where my real- my passion and care comes from, was my mother.

Um, I haven't spoken about her like this for a while, so forgive me if I get a little bit emotional.

It just happened in January of 2020.

Or February.

February.

February, yeah.

So, um, it was a short one.

Um, she got diagnosed with breast cancer and... and... and she only had three... three months.

So, [exhales] it was a quick one.

So, we didn't really have too long to, um, spend with her.

And... and so, we got to say our... our goodbyes and stuff.

But, certainly, when I look back, uh, that was a huge moment for me because my mum obviously supported me and she did everything for me.

I...

I mean, I moved away when I was 16... you know, fully supported me.

And then, one of the big things- sounds stupid- but... when she made the trip to Sacramento.

So, um, you know, you had the pleasure of meeting her as well.

You know, and, uh, she got to see something truly special.

She got to understand what it truly meant to me.

Because I think for... for a lot of people, they maybe questioned, um, me going to California in the first place because, um, I'd come from playing European competitions and it was maybe seen as a stronger league.

And the reasons maybe why I was doing it, maybe people just thought I was going for the lifestyle, which, you know, wasn't the case.

And while it's an incredible lifestyle, I was able to achieve something and... and, as you say, hopefully make an impact on people's lives.

And, uh, that's... that's... that's what pleases me the most, you saying that.

You know, of course, um, I had my mum there to see it, but she got to see not only me winning the championship, but to see some of the stuff that happened off the field, and meeting people like yourself, you know?

And she really got a real sense of, you know, there was an- a real achievement in not just winning something, but off the field, how you can actually impact someone's life.

And, you know, a lot of people maybe see it as just football, and it just goes way beyond that.

It's a way to, like, uh, ignite a relationship or spark a community or bring people together.

And... and you don't... you don't even need to speak the same language.

You could chuck a ball on the field and everybody will just get on well.

So, certainly, you know, football is a tool to really reach other people.

And... and again, that's kind of probably how I've always seen it.

Maybe not always been able to say it until I got over to the likes of California and was able to really express myself, uh, and let other people sort of, like, uh, come to me for questions or answers or just see them.

Um, sort of role-model-esque, if you like, you know, without me looking for any, like, pat on the back.

I kind of feel like, you know, I...

I wanted to give time to as many people as I could, whether that was just signing an autograph or whatever.

And I'm just so happy that that was how I was raised.

And my mum got to see, sort of, that real, um, the real fire in... in Sacramento, the real community and togetherness.

Amazing, and I'm so happy that she got to see you in that place in time, um, because she just was watching and blown away by everybody just coming to you and... and, you know, that wasn't even... that wasn't even at the soccer field.

That was after, and it was off of it.

- Yeah.

- And she was just- She got to see, um, the positive impact that you had on Northern California.

And that's huge.

You know, for someone to get that- for you to get that in your life, um, to have your mom see that is... is life-altering and it... it... it leaves you forever grateful, I would imagine.

Yeah, it's, uh- it goes... it goes beyond the- Don't get me wrong, football's been my life, but I want people to remember something good about me.

If I am to leave a legacy, it's not to be remembered for playing football.

Truly, you know, that's great.

The people remember me doing something that I...

I'm, you know- what has been my passion, what has been my career.

Obviously, I want to be good at that, but I...

I wanted to always leave a mark somewhere and, um, be a- you know, gracious in... in- when I won and... and when I...

I lost.

So, obviously, trying just to kind of, really, have that nice balance and... and- I just, yeah- I just want to- If I'm going to leave a legacy, I'd rather it be left with how I were- was with people.

Um, certainly, Sacramento's given me that opportunity.

And, um, I try to... to really embrace that and connect with people on... on every level.

And, um, yeah, I'm...

I'm super thankful for my opportunity.

And as they say, you know, sometimes you don't know maybe the impact you've had on someone, but I always tried to make somebody, anybody that I walked past or came up to shake my hand or whatever it was, and greet them with a smile on my face or, you know, just go that extra yard if I could.

And if it meant some... somethin' to somebody, brilliant.

Um, I don't know who it's impacted, to this day.

So, it's so nice whenever I hear things like this and words like this, and it... it really means a lot because that's... that's kind of how I'd rather be remembered.

And my time in Sacramento- yes, of course, I won- but, certainly, to have a good connection with people, it holds more weight to me.

Well, that's... that's wonderful.

And I want everybody here to know what's going on in your life now.

Um, you're coaching and you're a songwriter, musician, singer.

And the song- I just listened to it before this interview again, um, with a different set of ears, if you will, uh, listening to the words of your song.

And in your music, you... you write the song "I'm A Better Man," and it says, "I'm a better man now," and- What- Tell me about that... that journey for you into songwriting.

And why?

Uh, growing up, I had a passion for football, um, and a passion for theater and... and music, and it was something that I did- not professionally- did it through maybe primary school.

I learned myself, taught myself how to play the guitar, and then- not that I'm brilliant at it by any means, but I just tried to get, uh, into this good sort of hobby that I was really, like, you know, having a new challenge, um, and trying to be consistent.

Um, and then, I suppose, just, I've always been OK at writing maybe poems and stuff and, um- Just, a different chord that you strum, a different word sort of springs out of your head, and all of a sudden, I was just sort of in a place of just, like, writing, um, quite fluid, to be honest.

Um, I was writing stuff and it would have been probably taken a wee bit more serious whenever my mother passed away, was me trying to probably journal and get emotions off my chest and try and deal with something.

Because, again, I was this sports player and this meant-to-be, kind of, "bulletproof guy," which isn't the case.

And it's... it's not, for anybody.

You know, I think being vulnerable is- Being more- You know, being more transparent is better for helping other people.

And then, you're being more of a role model, if you're able to let your guard down as well.

And other people, then, can go, "Oh, actually, you know what?

Maybe it's not as bad as it was," or, "I can learn from that," or, "I can move on."

Number one, I was blessed to have a great mother.

So, it was very hard whenever I- whenever that happened.

And seeing it happen so quickly, um, and having a younger sister as well.

I tried to, like, have her kind of, like- you know, be that bigger brother.

I kind of had to help her along the way.

So, whenever I was writing, I was just kind of writing for myself.

It was my chance to grieve... what had just happened, 'cause I wasn't able to go and really see my friends.

It was kind of that little, kind of, really crappy time... - Yeah.

- ...in life.

So, writing was just me pouring out my heart.

And then, I'd written a song for my mum for the funeral, um, and then- Uh, then, the song I'm A Better Man came probably five or six months later.

And the words were just so- I don't know- magnetic, to me, or something.

They were just, you know, coming, and I wrote that song probably within 10 minutes.

So, it was just something, and once I got the first word, it was just flowing.

And then, I started playing the guitar with it and it just sort of kept- yeah, it was a nice little repeat and just not... not sounded nice, but just felt so good for me.

It just threw everything to the side.

It just made me just come... come to a better place.

You know?

It just felt like- With COVID as well, I think I would have been able to grieve a wee bit better.

It was just that kind of tricky period.

And obviously, then, I wasn't able to play football at the time, so everything just come together and I was just trying just to, like, let things go.

So, fast forward, then, another couple of months.

I contacted, um, a musician, um, from one of my old teams, and I messaged him and just said, "Listen, I have a song here.

To me, it's... it's... it's OK. Well, you know, would you maybe take a look at it?

Have a listen.

See what you think."

He said, "Send it over," and I kind of think he just thought, "Ah," you know, "Tommy being a footballer."

He didn't know I wrote...

I wrote a few songs or played the guitar, even.

So, he probably just, sort of, probably dismissed it for maybe a minute or two.

And then, when he had heard it, he text back, goes, "Wow."

He said, "You have to do something with this.

Let me help you."

But being a role model in sport, I felt like there was an opportunity to maybe just help someone, if anyone at all, um, because COVID was a thing as well.

So, not only was it my mother- for me personally, that's what I wrote about- but able to come out of COVID better, being able to be vulnerable as a person and actually speak.

You know?

And, of course, the lyrics say "better man."

Now, of course, if I can help a woman or young girl or whatever with that kind of wording, you know, then by all means.

But, certainly, for the... the men- I'd known a lot of men that were hurting as well, and it kind of was just made to kind of just reach out a branch and be like, "I know what that's like.

I've tasted a little bit of defeat."

You know?

But, you know, I think defeat sometimes can be a great learning curve and a great chance for someone to bounce back, uh, and... and really be a teammate for someone.

You know?

That's been my life.

I've been a teammate, number one.

And I think I've been a good teammate.

What is your advice to someone who, right now, is going through that loss of a loved one?

First, I want to start with that.

Cry.

Let your emotions go.

Um, don't hold back.

Um, grieve.

Everybody- I can't know what to say that- I can't tell anybody how to do it.

Everybody will do it differently and at their own speed.

But whenever it's the right time for you to let your emotions go, let them go.

Um, try and- I would say, try and journal, would be something that's helped me.

And I- Again, I can't talk for everyone, but try and journal.

Um, try and remember some of the good things.

Try and take trips down memory lane.

Uh, get loved ones around you.

Speak to people.

Don't... don't... don't, um, don't be silent.

Uh, that's... that's one thing that can be a little, um, little hard, little sad.

But, certainly, there are times you maybe need your own space, but, um, don't be doing- don't be, like, consistent with that.

Um, give yourself... give yourself love as well.

Give yourself little, um, things to do during the day.

Try and... try and meet your one or two targets that you want to do in... in... in the day.

And if... if that works out, great, you can build on that.

You know, if you don't, don't worry.

Uh, again, music was a thing for me as well.

And... and, uh, yeah, just... just trying to get 'round my family and... and friends as much as I could, and... and speak to people.

And, again, it's probably like anything.

Uh, the more you speak, um, the less worried you'll be or the less fears you'll probably have.

And maybe some of the things that you think are holding you back aren't maybe as- uh, there.

You know, they're not right- They're not exactly there for you.

Yeah, that's very well put.

You... you learn very quickly what serves you and what does not, in times of need.

Um, and you also tend to turn to the things that are- uh, you think are keeping you going, in times of need.

And you realize really quickly if they're good for you or bad for you.

Um, I do want to ask you, what did people say to you that helped?

And what did people say to you that did not help?

Because I love using this... this platform as a chance to help people live a better life and do better.

So, what... what... what did people say to you that... that helped you, and what were things that were said that did not?

Can you give us some advice?

Yeah.

Um, for me, the biggest one was "take your time."

You know, you don't need to rush things, because a lot of- I've seen a lot of people are- Couple of months gone, they're like, "Oh, well.

Someone's passed.

You're fine now."

No.

Um, give them time.

Give them space.

You're your own kind of person.

You will grieve in your own time.

But make sure you get, I would say, people around you- so, you know, you're checking in on people, um, because ultimately this is going to happen to you.

It's happened to me.

It's going to happen to my friends.

It's going to happen to more family members.

And it's just important we're all there for each other, you know?

And, uh, yeah, that... that's my advice, is just trying to get good people around you and speaking to people.

My mum will always live on.

No doubt about it.

The good she's instilled in me, I believe, I'm bringing out in other people, um, truly.

So- - That's where she lives.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

So, there's always that part of me that, um, is holding that torch for someone.

So, I think my best advice is keep the head up and carry that torch.

Do you think- You know, you said something before we started this interview about, um, the fans and the big role that, when fans were present, it- that it takes, uh, on the players, on you.

What do you want to say to the people, um, those thousands of diehards that showed up and still show up, uh, to cheer?

What do you want to say to the fans and the people of Sacramento?

And do you think soccer has a future here?

Number one, absolutely.

But number two, I would shake each and every one's hand, if I could, in a row, go through everybody.

Um, I've never been as grateful for the support and love I received.

Phenomenal, phenomenal, phenomenal.

For- [exhales] I don't know where to even begin or stand.

It's- From singing my name, uh, for waiting to sign autographs, for taking pictures with them, for in the community, for meeting people in restaurants, during the park... train sessions, podcasts, phone calls, text messages, um, everything... celebrating my goals, um, making my family feel welcome when the came.

Um, it just felt like family away from family, and that's the best way I can describe it.

So, thank you to each and every person, including yourself, because it doesn't... it doesn't mean the same without it.

If we had no fans and won the league, it doesn't... it doesn't do the same.

It doesn't hold the same weight.

It's... it's good.

It's great.

It's on your TV.

It's... it's history made, but it's- it- You've got to enjoy this with people, you know, fans, people that love football, people who want to enjoy football, people that were starving of football in Sacramento, people that needed a club, people that have, um, no community in football.

Too long for those fans.

And, um, even... even after winning, they came out in their numbers again- I remember, the... the streets were closed off, uh, the Tower Bridge- to come and see us...

Uh, we had the fire, um, fire brigade, um, driving us down the truck... something I've never done in my life.

You know?

So, uh, it's just truly special.

And, again, I'd love to meet as many people in the future as possible.

And if I can help any people with their sons or daughters in any way with coaching, I...

I will.

I'll happily pick up the phone call with people.

I would just- Honestly, I...

I would do what I could, within reason.

I tell you what, you- you know, the- there's so much magic in, um, the field and... and magic in what happened, uh, in 2014.

But you, my friend, I believe, are the magic man.

And I just want to thank you for all that you have done for California, um, for humanity, frankly, for the tenderness in people that you've brought out, and for sharing your story.

Because I'm a firm believer that when you share your story, it sets other people and, oddly, yourself free.

So, thank you, Tommy.

I hope there's more music in the future from you.

Much appreciated, Rob.

Um, I'm never done writing.

- Good.

Good!

- Let's put it like that.

So, whether something happens in the future, I don't know.

All right.

Well, then let's make that happen, OK?

[Tommy chuckles] All right.

Tommy Stewart, thank you so much for joining us from Northern Ireland.

Um, it is so great to see you, as always.

And, um, you are missed here.

And we hope to see you very soon.

All right?

Thank you so much, Tommy, for doing this.

Rob, thank you once again.

A absolute pleasure to be on here.

Thanks for inviting me.

Um, again, you've been a great friend over the years as well.

And again, it's just so nice to have, um, that relationship and, um, I look forward to seeing you, you know, in person very soon, hopefully.

But once again, thank you so much for having me on.

You are so welcome.

And thank you.

You always have a home here.

Really, truly, you always have a home here.

Thank you, Tommy.

We'll see you next week right here... - Thanks, Rob.

- ... on Rob at Home.

And stay with PBS KVIE.

♪♪