>> I truly felt like nobody could understand me.

Nobody could reach inside my head and pick what's wrong but sometimes all you need is someone to listen.

>> Announcer: The "Whitney Reynold's Show" is supported by Sciton because results matter.

Leigh Marcus with @properties, sold on helping our community and closing homes.

O'Connor Law Firm, when it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Children's Learning Place, excellent in early childhood education since 1998.

Happy to Meat You.

Prime, fresh, fast.

Theraderm Clinical Skin Care, committed to developing skincare products designed to restore skin health and promote natural beauty.

Special thanks to Kevin Kelly with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty.

My Buddy's Chicago, Love Your Melon, Brendon Studzinski at State Farm, Fresh Dental, Ella's Bubbles, UFC Wrigleyville, The Cryo Bar, Bark Busters, Leah Chavie Skincare, Deluxe Cleaning Service, STI Moving & Storage and by other sponsors.

(upbeat music) >> What comes to mind today with today's topic?

"Roll Up Your Sleeves".

It could be literally rolling up your sleeves or to put in the hard work.

Today show however, is a little bit of both.

We're talking, the Roll Up Your Sleeves Movement, giving self-harm survivors confidence to physically roll up their sleeves by putting in the hard work in a healthy way to move forward.

(upbeat music) >> Announcer: You're watching, the "Whitney Reynolds Show."

A movement that sparked when emotional wounds were starting to heal.

Yet the physical scars were still extremely present.

>> And I said, "Can I talk to you privately?"

And he was like sure.

Is there anything you can do about this.

>> Announcer: Michelle Borth, a familiar face from Hollywood from Shazam to Hawaii Five O, knows about today's topic Personally.

>> 14, 15 is when it started and then around 17 is when I made it very serious.

(mumbles) And after that was the first time I reached out to my mom and I said to her, "I think I'm gonna die if I stay here."

My mom just understood and sent me away.

>> Announcer: It was actually at that camp and through the exercises she learned there, that she fell in love with acting.

From there she went on to follow her dreams.

However, in her mid twenties, the issue came up again.

>> Got back into it as in a job.

And because I always thought that that was just a fake it just don't matter what was that.

No, I was suffering from a mental illness.

>> (Announcer) And that's when she connected the dots.

Emotionally she was doing the hard work to move forward.

But the scars were a daily reminder of the difficult past.

>> I had spent some time in a facility where I met, I mean countless girls.

It was I think anywhere between 12 and 15 year old young women and all of them were just...

I mean from their waist to their arms, their legs they just we're...

Looked like they'd been brutalized.

They were self inflicted wounds.

But unlike once you get older when you apply for college and when you get your first boyfriend.

when the first time you shaved your (mumbles) these are just things that I had to encounter.

I'm like, they don't understand that it's going to be difficult then because now they have to explain.

>> (Announcer) After that she found her new mission and discovered a doctor to partner with and together they created the "Roll Up Your Sleeves movement."

>> I came back.

His first thing was, wait, you've got all the information and I was able to get him to donate the drugs for this course.

And that in that moment is where "Roll Up Your Sleeves" was like born.

>> It's something so simple that I can do that can really change someone's life.

And I mean, what can be better than that, right?

That's the whole point, I mean that's the point of why I went into this profession, the point of why we do anything we do is meaning, right?

And so this is meaning.

I can do something very simple for me it's so meaningful to someone else.

The whole point of all of this is to make a scar as less noticeable.

And so if we can do that with lasers, that's great laser like the Excel V works super well.

The other thing is if a scar is raised, I injected with steroids.

I mean the ultimate goal I think for our society is to de-stigmatize mental health.

>> (Announcer) So far around 30 people have been helped and they hope to be in every state soon.

Together this pair is helping remove the permanent reminder of past pain.

>> Today's topic is not an easy one to open up about.

And as Michelle just discussed, the scars alone can add sensitivity to move forward.

Our next guest opens up about her healing on a mental level.

Let's take a look.

Welcome to the show.

>> I'm so glad to be here.

>> We are honored to have you here and thank you for opening up about your story because I know today it's not easy.

Sometimes going back to the painful parts of our past.

>> It can be pretty hard sometimes going back, but I mean, just thinking of how far I've made it now and like it just everything that's happened up to this point, I'm not ashamed of my past at all.

I've definitely moved forward.

>> So lets talk about when you were a kid and how this all started.

>> So I want to say maybe when I was around 10 or 11 maybe even a bit younger, like around nine I started exhibiting symptoms of what I later found out was obsessive compulsive disorder.

I would pick at my hair.

I would pull at my skin, shoe on my fingernails.

There were a lot of different things about me that I'd be into realize where I think out of the ordinary.

And they were beginning to cause an impact on me and when I was 12, I pulled off all of my eyebrows.

And the thing is I would do it in a state where I wasn't really aware that I was doing it.

It would just sort of like happen and it would move so fast.

and that's something, sometimes people call like it's just, it's an obsessive behavior.

And sometimes people call it like stemming or anything.

And like, I didn't realize it but it was beginning to have an impact on me because I was getting bullied at school.

I've always had like, like a unique hair style or whatever people like to say.

And I used to have bangs.

And one thing that like a lot of girls I knew would do they would sneak up behind me and they'd pull my hair back and they would see my drawn on eyebrows.

And at that point I wasn't really drawing them on for the look, I had to, because I didn't have any, and I just didn't want to get bullied.

And they would call me like Sphinx cat, or just all these really terrible things.

And after like the bullying really took a toll on me.

And when I was 13, I started cutting, yeah.

>> Wow.

Okay.

So let's go back to beforehand.

Whenever you notice these signs of obsessive compulsion was there anything that triggered that?

Was there a life event or trauma that happened in your childhood?

>> In my childhood?

I can't really think of anything in particular that kind of triggered it.

I always knew that I was a bit different from other kids.

Just as like unemotional and like social thing.

I was into like different music.

I was into different... My childhood dream was to always be a pilot.

And unfortunately, like, when you're a dorky kid with glasses and, people say, especially if you're a girl you often hear you can't do that, that's not for you.

So I definitely remember feeling put down a lot.

So I was already feeling a bit down in the dumps as a kid but I can't think of anything in particular that really triggered the obsessive behavior.

Like I said, it happened so fast and so randomly, that I honestly, like I don't know how it happened.

>> Did your parents know at that point that you had some of these behaviors?

>> They found out because one of my teachers at school kind of brought it up and I think that's like, kind of like a sign that something might be wrong, but I honestly I kinda kept it hidden from them.

I didn't want them to worry about me.

I didn't want them to worry about it because at that point, I really hadn't seen much to worry about up until I started getting like, bullied for it.

And I thought like, something might be wrong.

>> Did the bullying push you beyond the first part, which was pulling out your eyebrows, did that push you into cutting?

Or how did you discover cutting or go down that path?

>> I, how do I explain, I guess, going down the path, it was like a rabbit hole.

Like when I would pull out my hair or I would pick at my skin, I would get like, like rush sort of I would get some sort of rush.

And I like the feeling like it was like something sharp like hitting my skin.

If that makes sense.

There was like a weird sensation of pain that I felt like I needed.

And I didn't really learn cutting from anything in particular.

I know, like I was 13 when I started, but at that point I hadn't watched any movies or read any books anything like that, where people had been like cutting themselves.

I just, I remember picking up a paper clip and straightening it out.

And I felt I had like the worst day ever.

I just remember thinking to myself, like this is the worst day ever.

And that was the first time I ever cut, it was in my bedroom with a paperclip.

>> How did that progress over time?

>> Honestly, I found new ways to do it.

Like I started pulling, I would like at school like whenever I would have fun like a little pencil sharpener I would get a screwdriver, take it out.

I would like hoard razorblades.

And I was too afraid to do it sometimes because I was a little scared.

Like, what if I do it too deep?

Like what's gonna happen?

And it started progressing.

Like I found new ways to do it.

I realized that I could do it and in a different way.

And it would make me feel better.

Which was the worst part.

Was that finding new ways to do it ways that would hurt me more ways that I could bleed more like that made me feel better.

>> And the pain it gave you a high is what you're saying.

>> It gave me motivation, like, not so much a high, like I wouldn't feel like I was in a daze while doing it but it felt like it was something that I could rely on.

Because I felt like nobody was understanding me.

Like, not even, I couldn't even understand myself and that's why I wanted to hurt.

Like I had so many, like I just think about it now.

It's like so many things in my head.

Like it all just feels so chaotic.

And I felt like the only way I could handle how I was feeling was matching what I felt like inside like to the outside.

>> What eventually helped you stop the cycle?

>> Stopping is a really hard road.

It's always been a hard road for anyone who feels like they're addicted to something.

But I have found like that.

I need to like keep in touch with like certain parts of myself.

Like, one thing I really care about is like my inner child my inner child loves two things, cartoons and like finding other people who like the same thing that I like.

And honestly, like being a part of like the Gothic like subculture really helped me a lot because I realized like there's other sensitive people, there are other people who look like different, really unique and like, they get it, they've been through it, they understand and like being in touch with like my inner child, like that really helps.

And with the way that I look and like the way that I like take to care of myself like I just, I love like, making her happy, like little Sarah Jean happy and drawing like also really helped because it keeps my hands busy.

Sometimes when I get nervous my hands fidget a lot and I'm doodling is the best.

Like I love to draw and it's a really good, like nervous way to deal with my nervousness.

>> Well, you have such a spirit about you now.

And I wanna kind of bring in viewers that could be struggling with this today.

What advice would you have for them?

>> If I could give any advice to anyone like of any age, any gender, any situation, any background.

I would tell them to just find their inner child and like what made them happy when they were younger and the world didn't seem so dark and bleak because sometimes I still feel like the world can be a dark and bleak place.

But I think of how I felt when I was a kid what really makes me truly excited and just so happy for life.

I think about that.

And also I would remind them that, you're never alone.

You are not alone.

Like I was one thing I felt like I truly felt like nobody could understand me.

Nobody could reach inside my head and pick what's wrong but sometimes all you need is someone to listen.

So I would say talk, write.

However you can get that energy out and just to get yourself out there because you deserve to be heard and you deserve to be listened to, and you're never alone.

>> Well, and you said, find someone to listen, did you find that person in your life?

Were you able to identify like this issue has to stop or it could go into something else?

>> Yeah, I found, I got that help a lot of different ways.

It took me a while, but I learned to open up to my family about it.

I'm really close to my family.

It's my mom and my two sisters and my dad.

He died when I was 17, but God rest his soul.

He was there for me, always visited me when I was in the hospital because of suicide attempts or cutting.

He was always there for me.

I found that.

And also my chosen family.

I don't, most of my family is overseas in the Philippines so I don't really know a lot of them, but my chosen family my best friends, people I can really confide in my boyfriend.

Like I have found so many people that I realized, I am not, I'm not alone in this world.

Like there are others just like me who actually actively want to listen to me and hear me out.

That's been everything >> And for parents that are potentially watching without going into whether your parents did it right or wrong as a person that actually experienced this firsthand, what could you say to a parent of the best way to help >> I've thought about this a lot, because I know for a fact that this was something that really troubled my mom and dad and looking back on it now at age 23, compared to when I was 13, any parent, I can understand the confusion and the pain and the hurt but I can honestly say that it's usually never about the parent.

It's never that.

There's a lot of stuff going on.

And speaking for myself, there was so much stuff going on in my head and it was really hard to open up about it.

And if you're a parent, I think maybe your child needs like they just need to be really listened to without any judgment, with a complete open mind just to be truly listened to and understood.

Even if it seems like it doesn't make any sense.

I think that's the first step for getting better and like finding a way to handle the situation.

>> You are such a gift being here today and opening up.

>> Thank you so much.

I'm so glad that I had this opportunity to talk about it.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> And to help us understand the mental health behind today's topic, we brought in Dr. Jessica Lippman.

welcome to the show.

>> Thank you for having me.

>> So we've been talking about a very serious topic today of cutting and kind of the disorder behind it.

What can you bring in when it comes to kind of the psychology behind the issue?

>> Well, I think it's very important that stories are important and people have a story to be heard and they need to be listened to.

And everybody who cuts has a story.

And it's a story about depression, shame, guilt, anger, and over 200 million people in America engage in the self-harming behavior.

They cut their arms, upper arms, lower arms, their belly, their thighs, and many times it's a secret.

And they wear long sleeves so nobody knows that they cut.

People cut because they don't have the language to talk about what it is, what's bothering them.

And so they cut to express a feeling.

It's like a balloon.

If the balloon's filled with air and then you let the air out.

And that's what they get when they cut, they get a relief from this intense emotion that they're feeling.

It's sadistic behavior and it's self-harming.

And then it has a whole series of things that make them feel badly about themselves because they've cut and they've self-harmed.

Probably the most important pieces.

It is not suicidal behavior.

They do not do it to end their lives.

They do it in order to get relief.

>> With what you've seen with cutting, does it start in other ways first?

>> Yes it does.

Because we find people who have substance abuse, eating disorders, sexual abuse, people feel unloved, bullied, marginalized.

That's a beginning.

And then as I said, they don't have the words to express what they're feeling.

And so they say, gee, the razor, they pick up a razor and they cut and they say, it made me feel better.

It makes no sense.

It's illogical.

But this is the thing.

Sometimes they feel so numb that they cut in order to feel pain.

Because if I feel pain, I'm alive.

>> Wow.

>> But many times they don't even remember why they cut.

>> Wow.

And like you were saying, it can be a cycle because then once it's done, then there's the shame that's involved with that.

So how does someone actually get out of this cycle >> If you're lucky, somebody notices.

And they'll say, if I say to you, are you cutting?

I'm going to say, no, I'm not cutting because it's a secret.

But if I say, I know you're cutting, clearly you need to talk to somebody about it.

And you say, I'm available to talk to you.

Can I get you help?

Can we get you a counselor?

Can you talk to clergy?

Can you talk to a therapist?

It's a terrible cycle.

And we only see it in young people.

Sometimes as young as 10 and it can go into college.

And if we can stop the cycle, the person can get help.

And then they don't do it later on in life.

>> And when you say we mainly see it I mean, the numbers show that it mainly happens with young people?

>> 75% of adolescents know somebody who cuts.

>> That's a remarkable number.

So for parents that are watching what advice would you have to them?

Because like you said, it's a secret.

They might not even know, what should we do?

>> You have to be able to confront it and say, you never ask somebody, are you cutting?

There's a shame about it.

Shame would be, I took a cookie and I got my hand cook caught in the cookie jar.

Guilt is I took the cookie and I feel badly.

And so as a parent, you don't say did you.

Because people are going to lie.

You say, I think you're cutting.

I can see the scars on you.

And this is the thing there's such a shame from the scars and people who have the scars.

What they do is I'll tattoo it as they're older because everybody you walk around.

Everybody can see it.

And as a parent, you confront it and you get them help.

>> Thank you so much for joining us today.

>> Thank you for having me >> While you just did what our next guest says is key, when it comes to today's topic, listening, let's take a look >> (Announcer) When it comes to today's topic, we chatted with an organization who says, there's actually something we can all do to help.

>> We see somebody that we love or care about.

That Starting to engage in self destructive behaviors.

What we want to do is, is be thoughtful.

Be really compassionate and be good listeners and find out what's going on with them.

We know that these sorts of behaviors are coping skills not in the traditional positive sense but they're helping somebody get through something really overwhelming, really stressful really difficult for them.

So we want to find out what else is going on.

In addition to these behaviors.

I think there's never been a better time to then to be a good listener.

And somebody who checks in with people they care about and say, how are you doing?

That's a practice that we have been doing and engaging with in our organization, but we also have to be ready to answer.

>> (Announcer) Ben Frank, the chief wellness officer for NAMI Chicago, says they've seen an uptick in calls through the pandemic >> We doubled in, in terms of the number of people who were reaching out to us.

I think we need to look for people who feel extra isolated who feel like they aren't supported who are showing more and more signs of not feeling like they can cope with what's going on.

That's what's at the heart of these sorts of behaviors.

And that's, what's this the heart of of people that we are worried about.

So we have extra work to do.

We have extra work to reach out in this moment and to make sure we can keep an eye on one another.

>> (Announcer) And that extra work he just mentioned, might be the hope that someone needs >> Our end point is to lend in help.

We're there to remind people that there's help available to them.

That treatment works, that there are people who care about them, that they're loved.

So each of our calls is unique.

We try to hear their story, amplify that and help find a direction that that people can turn to.

And sometimes that's just us.

Sometimes they need a phone call from the caring person.

Sometimes they need to find a good doctor.

Each case is very individual and we want to support everybody along their way.

>> The "Roll Up Your Sleeves movement" is giving confidence back.

And as we heard firsthand today, we are seeing people choose hope for their future by owning their story.

Remember your story matters.

(upbeat music) >> announcer: "The Whitney Reynold's show" is supported by Sciton Because Results Matter.

Leigh Marcus with @ properties sold on helping our community and closing homes.

O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Children's learning place excellence in early childhood education since 1998.

Happy To Meet You, Prime.

Fresh Fast.

Theraderm Clinical Skincare committed to developing skincare products, designed to restore skin health and promote natural beauty.

Special thanks to Kevin Kelly with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty.

My Buddies Chicago, Love Your Melon.

Brendon Studzinski at State Farm.

Fresh Dental.

Ella's Bubbles, UFC Wrigleyville.

The Cryo Bar, Bark Busters, Leah Chubby Skincare.

Deluxe Cleaning Service, STI Moving and Storage.

And by other sponsors.

(upbeat music) "Go beyond the interview" with Whitney Reynolds and her 52 week guide of inspiration.

The book goes deeper into the topics you see on the Whitney Reynolds show to get your copy for 1295 plus shipping and handling, go to whitneyreynolds.com/store and use code PBS.

For more information on today's program visit Whitney reynolds.com or follow us on social media.

On Twitter at Whitney Reynolds and on Instagram at Whitney-_Reynolds.

>> children: Our mummy.