(pensive guitar music) - You can't make really good art if you can't be truthful.

'Cause a lot of people think that truth is gonna be painful.

And yeah, it can be sometimes, but there really is beauty and simplicity in it, even for all the hurt.

My dream growing up was I'm going to be a realistic painter.

I'm going to paint things just like Leonardo da Vinci, and maybe someday I'll end up in a museum.

(bright electronic music) The oldest drawing I have was from when I was about four, four and a half years old.

And it was two women and a men.

And the women were wearing like big fancy hats.

And for some reason the guy had this little baby and he's not like even holding it or anything, it's just kind of perched on his shoulder.

And while I was drawing, I lost count of fingers.

So I started drawing fingers up this side of the arm, and the guy has like maybe 11 fingers on one hand and he still has his other hands.

So, you know, I got better at drawing hands.

I believe in understanding the techniques that are the foundation for being an artist.

So understanding, drawing, understanding color, knowing how to paint a little.

Teaching art has been great, because it's not something I had ever intended to do, but I kind of stumbled into it and I found that I really enjoyed it.

And what I really like about it is that it makes me a better artist.

And it definitely helps being married to somebody who's been teaching for, you know, almost 20 years.

And also parenting helps, because when you're a parent you have to teach.

(bright electronic music continues) I met my husband at JMU, we were both students there.

When I looked back at our pictures, I thought, we look so young, I think.

Who the heck allowed us to get married?

'Cause we look like little kids.

When we decided to start a family, I would stay home with the kids, like I wanted to, which really surprised me, because I never thought of myself as being a very motherly type.

But I have learned, definitely I am.

It's really cool, like getting to see who my kids are and what they're interested in and, you know, trying to take that step back and let them be who they are.

And I think a lot of that just comes from my experiences of me trying to be an artist, like when I was growing up, because it wasn't something that was supported.

Like when I was taking art classes in school, that was fine.

When I wanted to take it seriously and make it a career, that was a big no-no.

And over the years I've come to realize like that is a huge part of my identity that I feel like my family didn't understand.

And so to not have that understood or supported was very difficult.

So as a parent, it's a really, really big thing for me to every day start afresh and see them as they are right there in that stage.

(pensive guitar music) When you sit there and you have to really pay attention to something and look at the values and the colors and the shapes of things, it really forces you to slow down and really pay attention.

And so that has something that I carry into all of my other work, because you can't really see something, you can't really understand something or someone unless you give yourself permission to slow down and really be present, to really pay attention.

And that's very difficult to do.

(pensive guitar music continues) I've always felt like a black sheep in the Filipino community.

I don't like singing and performing on stage.

That's not my thing, which is a huge thing in the Filipino community.

Like, I don't even do karaoke.

And so, if you're not part of that, it doesn't really feel like there's a place for you a lot of times, and I'm also, I'm very outspoken, but my kids are half-Filipino and I want them to be more aware of that part of their culture than I was growing up.

I want them to at least feel like the door is open for them.

(pensive guitar music continues) Quilts are not something in Filipino culture.

And I grew up with a lot of friends who had quilts in their houses and I've always thought that they're really beautiful and interesting.

I love the history of 'em, I love how they're made.

But being born and raised here, being part of the culture, but also kind of not part of the culture, it's sort of this weird in-between place where you're trying to figure out, you know, how you really belong.

(person screams) (person vocalizing) When I decided to dig into what it means to me to be Filipino American, what does Filipino American art look like, I just decided, okay, well, you know, what are some materials that are exported from the Philippines or that, you know, you think of when you think of the Philippines.

And I just got on the internet and ordered a bunch of stuff and just figured, let's get the stuff in, let's see what it can do.

So I'm making a capiz quilt using these square cut capiz shells.

And like the pina fabric, they're another major export from the Philippines.

They look fragile, but they're actually surprisingly durable and you can see images through them, which is nice, because for me that's like another metaphor for humanity.

Balut is this fertilized egg.

You're supposed to crack it open, slurp up whatever soup is in there and then just eat it.

And that is just something that I can't see myself ever trying.

But it's also such a huge part of Filipino culture, that I was determined to see if there's some way that I could find a connection to it.

In my peace "Transfer of Power," it's a very maternal peace.

I thought about being a mother, creating life, raising these kids, hoping that someday they will be good people, and they are good people, but hoping they'll stay that way, and thinking about what I'm passing on to them, but also what they've given me, and also what I've gotten from like my mother and my grandmother and my aunts.

♪ I've been blue like the ocean we outgrew when we moved ♪ ♪ Point of view like I read ♪ ♪ 'Til I'm white, that's the bluest ♪ (energetic electronic music) - For a lot of my life, I would feel paralyzed trying to make art, because it wouldn't come out the way that I wanted it to.

So then it was just easier to not do anything rather than just plunge in and let the art take you where it will, experiment, have fun, let loose.

Took a really long time to learn that lesson.

And I'm still learning it.

I love drawing and painting, but it's also very tedious and kind of boring for me.

But now the work that I'm doing, it's very invigorating, it's very inspiring.

I have enough ideas for at least a few more shows.

And as I dig deeper into my heritage, it's also opening up more questions and more avenues for research.

I wanna fly back to the Philippines and visit the museums and the libraries.

And I want to visit the villages.

I want to learn about the weaving.

I wanna learn about the tattoo culture.

I want to go hang out with people who are fishing.

I just wanna get to know the country for itself, so that I can bring that into my work.

(energetic electronic music continues) (energetic electronic music continues) (energetic electronic music continues)