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This is one on one.

I'm an equal and merican just like you are.

The way we change presidents in this country is by voting.

A quartet is already a joy.

It's just the new joy.

January 6th was not some sort of violent, crazy outlier.

I don't care how good you ar or how good you think you are, there is always something to learn.

I mean, what other country sends comedians over to embedded military to make them feel better?

People call me because they feel nobody's paying attention.

It's not all about memorizing and getting information.

It's what you do with that information.

Stars start talking right now.

That's a good question.

High five.

Hey, everyone.

Steve out about our.

This is one on one.

Or honored to introduc a young man I've known before.

He became a very big deal.

And his industry is Ryan Day.

He's a chef, restaurateur, grew up in new Jersey, and now he's got 18 restaurants all over the place now.

Okay.

Hey, good to see you my friend.

Very good to see you.

I like to call myself the head pot washer.

Hold on, tell folks.

And by the way, check out Ryan.

You'll see him on the line.

His presence is extraordinary.

He's doing great things.

You are not jus a great restaurateur and chef.

You are an entrepreneur who has had to do everything and still do.

Correct?

Yeah I mean, I definitely have taken a step back from the day to day cooking.

I'm still developing recipes, but I do that in, in tande with my chefs at each restaurant because I want them to have their own creative license.

You know, as long as it the synergy is there.

And for Battelle and Ember and Eagle, it's their wealth of them have been with me for almost three.

Well, one's been with me over three years and the other ones being me almost three years.

Let's go bac a little bit, Ryan, right now, the most prominent restaurants in your universe include.

What?

Well, I mean we can't forget to name the one that lasted 20 years for wher we originally met in Montclair.

You were really young when you started fashion on Montclair, right?

25 years old.

I'll be 49 in March.

Okay, so here's the question.

You have fashion over 20 years.

Yeah.

The the most significant lesson you learned at fashionable became a big hit that has helped you be the success you are today in this incredibl challenging industry is number one lesson how you can catch more bees with honey.

Talk about it.

Well, I you know, my first probably 8 to 10 years, I was probably, you know, I'll do my best not to curse but to be a jerk to the staff.

And that was the world I grew up in.

You know, I worked for John George.

I worked for Boulay.

And they weren't.

They weren't jerks but they were just really hard.

It was that old school French mentality.

And I went into that staying like, you know, the only way you're going to listen to me is if I yell at you.

Right.

And as I got older, you know, and also all kids, I realized that, you know, you need to, you know, humble yourself.

You need to be able to you know, explain to the staff.

And I think it took me until almost like opening because the thing was, is that I didn't want to lose staff.

So I felt like if I scared them, I would scare them into doing the right thing.

And then I switched it to a point where I was like, if I treat them well, and I explained to them what they're doing wrong, then they'll change.

Now there are definitely people out there that don't change, but I'm in a position now having, you know, 30 guys in the kitchen at that.

If you're not listening after 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 times, and I'm doing this i a very calm, you know, sit down.

You know, meeting, the it's my fault for keeping you.

So we say it's time to part ways and there's somebody there that will fill the position.

Okay.

Go back for a second.

You've mentioned your restaurants over in Jersey city right now, right?

We have in Jersey city.

And then I had Ember and Eagle and Tilling House in Eatontown and off course.

Okay.

Go back for a second.

So, you know, we come from the same kind of neighborhood community, even though you grew up in Nutley.

I grew up in Newark.

And, you know, I've known your dad and your mom for a long time.

And you mentione the French piece of it, right?

Because John George, the whol bit you trained with the best.

Yeah.

My young friend, the Italian American influence in your life.

Family?

Yeah.

Describe it.

So, you've.

I think you met my grandfather, Paul Martino, who's passed a couple of years ago.

You know he's a big influence in my life.

Because when we grew up, we grew up every Sunday at his house.

And even though he was a contractor, he was an avid, you know, in-home chef.

And then my grandmother, you know, every Sunday.

Pasta, pizza, stuffed artichokes, seafood salad, spongy salad, you know, fennel to, you know, for your, your, you know, for your taste to, to change the taste, you know, or palate cleanser, as I was meant to say.

You know, I grew up in that.

So I absolutely loved Italian-American cooking.

But I also absolutely loved the idea of upscale dining.

And not even that my grandfather had a he had, like a monthly spend at stretches in Newark, Angelo's in Lyndhurst.

You know, when you say stretch, it's interesting you say that.

I know it's funny.

You stretch.

I might even Google the Belmont Tavern.

The rest is history.

So here's the thing.

When you're a kid, how are you about what's being made, how it's being made, an thinking to yourself as a kid, this is something I think I want to do.

I think it took me to almost like early teenage years to figure it out, but my mother started teaching me how to cook at ten years old because she was a recipe developer for women's magazines.

She did books for Doctor Atkins.

I was very desserts.

Her legendary.

Just leave it at that.

I agree.

And if you can make it dow here, we're doing her Zeppelin savory style with pecorino prosciutto and Calabrian chili.

And as a savory zebra.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

Yeah.

I'll text you a picture of it, please.

Okay, so.

So your mom teaches you what?

She started teaching me how to, like.

You know, it really just started to put things in the oven because she was.

She was working full time.

And then as I got a little older, she would write a recipe.

I'd follow it.

Then I started changing it.

It was the only thing I love.

I was a complete Ferris Bueller.

Growing up, I always, you know, I used to call in as my dad's voice.

I used to write letters.

I skipped school more than anybody who could imagine it.

But your passion for food?

Yeah.

For restaurants?

Yeah.

Here's what I'm curious about.

You said something before.

Ryan, I'm curious about earlier on.

You raise your voice.

You were going to use a certain word, and I know the word you were going to use to describe yourself.

But we won't do it because this is PBS.

However, your standards for excellence, your demanding people's best.

To me, I don't see it as negotiable to you.

No, no, I don't, because.

Is excellence negotiable?

No, no, that's not for everyone.

My friend.

No, I get that.

And that's why there is.

I say no, but there is a leniency.

If you show up every day and you care and you know you want to get better, if you show that want.

Yes.

You don't need to be excellent, but you need to just keep trying 1% better every day.

Right.

Hey, philanthropy and Ryan De, you're on.

Go talk about it.

So I've been a part of Jersey Battered Women Services JB s for almost 18, 19 years as a coach organization.

We we raise tons of money.

Then I'm also right now September 24th, I'm doing jar of Hope.

This will be my second one for kids with muscular muscular dystrophy.

I've ran the New York Marathon for them five times.

This will be our second one last year.

Our very first one.

We had the best Monmouth County restaurants.

We raised 50,000.

First.

First time.

So the next one's coming up.

Also table the table, which is in Bergen County, which is a food drive.

Great organization.

You know, table table I co-chair that we have that coming up in October.

And that one is is it's insane because it's $650 a ticket and we sell ou every single time he ends down.

Let me push on something else.

So, along with million of others, I watched The Bear.

In your view.

Yeah.

How accurate is that series?

The bear?

Beyond the great acting of a portrayal of the restaurant industry?

Yeah, I'd say it's it's it's very accurate.

Many, many years ago.

And I'm sure there are chefs out there that are experiencing the stress and all that.

You know, you you want you want to be.

Listen, you work so hard, you put so many hours in.

You want to be recognized for what you do.

Right.

And it's hard.

It's very hard.

It's a business that's gettin harder and harder to make money.

That's cause, the cost of goods.

You know, the the cost of paying people.

You know, you have people.

That and no disrespec to somebody that works in, say, McDonald's, right?

But, like, if some.

I'll get a resume saying for a sous chef position, which you need 2 to 4 years experience running a kitchen or helping man a kitchen, and they'll send me their resume and I'll say okay, well, you know, you're not you're not fit for a chef position, but I have a cook positio that I'm willing to teach you.

And they're like, okay I want to start at $25 an hour.

And I'm like, no, that's that's not how it works.

You know, you if you start of at the bottom, it's $16 an hour.

You know what I mean?

And people are demanding more money than what they're worth.

So that's what makes it even harder.

Now, when you create a reputation like mine then.

And listen, I'm very fortunate.

I like to be.

I' trying to be humble about this.

I have gotten a lot of peopl reach out to me just because of the press gotten which is really, really great.

But it's, it's still very hard.

I'm opening a new restaurant in less than two months, and I'm terrified.

Excited?

What is that?

Can you say what it is?

Of course.

We're opening Bar Kino.

Which means, like.

Almost like a little boat saint.

Right next to Patel in Jersey city.

On the pier.

It's an old boat garage, 5000ft, mainly focused on pizza.

And then, private events.

I gotta tell you, I remember when you first started.

We all in your corner expecting great things.

You have far surpassed those expectations.

And best to you and your family and my friend.

Proud of you, Ryan and everybody on there.

Follow me on Instagram at Chef Underscore D. So we know somethin about branding and social media as well.

Stay with us to watch more one on one with Steve Adubato.

Find us onlin and follow us on social media.

Hi, I'm Jacki, senior corresponden for One on One, and I know I am not alone when I say, as a parent, it is so tricky to balance technology with our little ones.

So joining me now is Holly Moscatel.

She's the founder and president of the Balance Project to help us learn how we can do that.

Holly, great to have you with us.

Great to be here, Jackie.

Thanks so much for having me.

Well, I know you have three kids as well.

Three little girls.

I have two young girls.

And you started seeing early on the impact technology was having on your own kids.

How did that fast forward into creating the balance project and then describe what the missio is of the movement?

Of course.

So the Balance Project is a is a nonprofit parent led that is working to bring life and technology into harmony so that our kids can live a life fully lived.

And the mission really came about because I was observing my own children, and I was observing childre around them, and older children and hearing bits and pieces here and there around how modern childhood is reshaping how our kids are developing and is kind of.

While there are so many benefits of technology, there is also a lot of challenges.

And while we were neve a fully tech forward household, I will say that I noticed one of my daughters really getting hooked into the TV screen, and I noticed that her mood was completely different depending on how much tim she spent in front of that TV, what time of da she spent in front of that TV, what she was watching.

And once I learned more and I put some boundarie in place, I saw a total change.

And so then I read.

I was reading more about this topic, talking to people, doing all the things that us millennial parents do, right?

Learning everything we could possibly learn.

Reading the anxious generation, I'm sure.

Exactly.

And I was just going to say that is what really propelled m into action reading that book.

It essentially kind of brought all of all of the piece that I have been seeing together and made me realize that I thought I had more time.

At the time, my daughter was my oldest was six.

And I realized I didn't have enough time.

And so I wanted to take action and protect my kids, but also the entire generation of kids.

And you took action by first sitting in your home in new Jersey with fellow parents and talking about way that parents can come together under this movement, under this umbrella, because we often know that if my kids friend has the cell phone in fourth grade and the other friend doesn't, there's there's issues there.

So how important has it been?

I mean, I think it's now almost 300 communities that the balance project i in across the United States was, first of all, is just incredible.

But how important is that parent involvement key.

I mean, that's everything.

And and you're exactly right.

We started the conversation with the intentions of just making a change in our community.

And the six of us kind of got together, talked about the different aspects of the challenge.

We also talked about very early on, I think, at our first meeting, that it' not just what we're taking away or what we're limiting, bu it's what we are adding back in.

And I think that's a really core component of the work that we're doing.

It's not just about delayin the introduction of technology.

It is about ensuring our kids are getting free play unstructured time, independence, and that we are also thinkin about, you know, the achievement culture that we live in and the over structured culture that we live in.

And, you know, how all of this comes together to put a lot of pressure on our kids before they're ready.

And so, yeah, I was going to say, in a nutshell, it's hard to be a parent today.

It's hard to be a parent today.

It really is.

And I think, you know, there are there are so many different aspects of the challenge.

And this is why we really do frame it as modern childhood being out of balance, and the awareness and recognition of that, that we've this pendulum has swung a little bit too far with tech, a little bit too far with achievement and performance a little bit too far with over parenting and ove structuring our kids schedules.

And all we're sayin is, let's just be aware of that.

Walk it back and find the right balance.

It's not black or white.

It's not, you know, or it is.

And how do we bring both together in a healthy way for our kids?

And it's differen for every family, I'm sure, too.

But what if, you know, I'm in my community and I want to get involved in this movement?

First of all, what do I do to do that?

And then on the other end, what is the website and the platform offer to parents to really help them through this process?

Sure.

So since that firs meeting back in November 2024, we kind of laid out a plan for our parents.

We have a behavior changing, approach that brings peopl on the journey of inviting them into the conversation, exciting them about what's possible, uniting them around shared beliefs, and then continuing that activation.

Because this is not a, you know, set it and forget it topic.

So we onboard parents, anyone who was watching to that proces and we have tools and templates and resources, things as simple as a text you could send, you know, your friend group or an email you can send to your PTO or your principal.

We kind of give you all of the tools from everythin that we've learned over the past almost two years.

And we also have programs.

We have 15 signature programs that touc on the different components of of the challenge.

So as a parent, you'll get onboarded to all of this.

You'll have access to all of the resources.

We also do national event that you are invited to attend and that we record and make available.

So we're really trying to serv everything on a silver platter so you can start a conversation in your community and build alignment.

Give us an example of one o those programs that you've seen do really well in th communities throughout the US.

Sure.

So so you mentioned everyone you know in fourth grade is getting a phone.

One of the programs that we built actually around that exact topic is called our Tech Leap Year program.

We coined the term so you didn't miss anything.

This is a new term, and what it's meant to represent is that each community has their own norms that have been established, and a lot of those are dependent on, you know, what grades your schools go into.

You know, how is your town made up?

Are there multiple elementary schools?

And so what we do is we just we frame it as however, your community has, embraced technology.

And whenever you see that tipping point where it's maybe too far, too soon.

That's wher we want to have an intervention.

So in our community for example, it's exactly that.

It's fourth grade into fifth grade elementary school, into middle school.

The norm was everyone gets an iPhone, everyone gets a smartphone.

And so last year we started to push back against that.

And we got parents on board with, okay, hey, maybe we don't want to give them this smartphone.

There are other alternatives.

And why?

And do we want to do a pac or do we want to sign something?

Or do we just want to educate and have this conversation and find other people that are on the same page?

Every community is going to be a little bit different, and what works for one community may not work for another, but the important thin is having those conversations.

So in that program, we get the parents together, have this conversation, and then we actually bring the fourth graders into the conversation.

We educate them with their parents on the fourth grade brain, and they come out of that kind of truly understanding, oh, okay.

It's actually healthier for me to be spending more time in the real world than it is on technology and with social media, because now I understand how my brain works, and I'm looking aroun and I know that I'm not alone.

I see a lot of other kids here that are in this with me, and it's great for the parents to it takes that pressure of of the each individual parent.

When you can look around the room and see that you're not the only one that has this thought.

So that's been very popular.

That's been pulled through a lot.

And we're doing it again here in our community on September 15th.

So with the next grade.

So the work doesn't stop me.

Definitely not.

And I was going to ask you because I feel like today there are a lot more open conversations about the harms of technology, especially social media.

When we're talking about social media, the information is out there.

We understand now there, you know, higher suicide rates for our young girls, all types of horrible things that go along with the use of social media are really young age.

But do you think it's a little too late for like, our high schooler to turn back a little bit on how much they're using their devices, how much they're on social media?

I actually don't think it's too late.

I think a lot of people do believe it's too late, bu their brains are still forming, right?

We have until they're 25, and most likely they're still on your health insurance until they're 2025.

So we believe that there are ways to help them walk it back.

And we've actually done a few things with those age groups in that vein.

And we've seen them almost predecessor of relief like, thank you for telling me I can't bring my phone to th bowling alley with my friends.

Thank you for educating me tha when I add up all of the hours that I'm spending, I'm actually taking this much time away from my life.

So I, I 100% believe we can help even teens and college students walk it back.

I think it's all in the approach.

And it's it's got to be you know, we're learning more.

We we as parents didn't know.

Now we know better and we must do better.

And and we are still your parents.

And this is kind of one battle that we do think is, is worth fighting.

But we don't want it to be a battle.

And so a lot of our tools and our approach is framed in a way we've built stuff with high schoolers.

We have getting college students involved.

Now we're building discussion guides, rebuilding programs that actually, you know, bring them on the journey so that it doesn't feel, again, like we're taking something away, but it feels like we're addin something back into their life that perhaps they didn't even know was missing.

And finally, Holly, when it comes to the state's involvement and federal involvement in just restrictions and different things, I know Governor Cheryl recently passed several bills to really help parents navigate and put restrictions in place for young people using technology and social media and things of the such, and making sur that there's no devices allowed in schools through 12 during school hours.

How important do you think it is to have the state's involvement in trying to hel parents as they navigate this?

It gets critically important because there is just things change so quickly and parents have to keep track of so many different things.

And without kind of a clear cut guidebook or answer.

Right.

We are still learning so much every day.

And so what we've seen over the past ten, 15 years is every parent, every family is kind of doing whatever they think is best.

Every school is doing whatever they think is best.

So I do believe it's really crit and our, you know, health institutions provide guidance because parents, schools, coaches, we all need it.

And unfortunately, in lot of cases, until things are, you know, mandated, then they aren't necessarily followed.

And so while I don't think that i the whole solution, because this is a much larger thing than legislation can solve, I do think it's a really important component.

Well, Holly, thank you for giving us a platform to for us parents to utilize to help us navigate it, because like you said, it's very complicated and it's tough and it's tough.

So thank you for creating this.

And thank you for enlightening us and giving us some more information here with our viewers.

Thank you so much for having us.

For Steve Adubato myself.

Thanks for watching.

We'll see you next time.

One on One with Steve Adubato is a production of the Caucus Educational Corporation.

Funding has been provided by R J Barnabas Health.

Learn more@rwjbh.org.

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Bank of new Jersey.

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