Seniority Authority
Saving Mom
Clip: Season 1 | 3m 22sVideo has Closed Captions
When dementia changed everything, Carol found a new way to just be her mother’s daughter.
Carol’s mother had always been the heart of the family—devoted, joyful, and endlessly giving. But when dementia began to steal pieces of the woman Carol had always known, she faced the painful decision to move her into memory care. What she discovered was unexpected: relief, connection, and the chance to simply be a daughter again.
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Seniority Authority is a local public television program presented by NHPBS
Seniority Authority
Saving Mom
Clip: Season 1 | 3m 22sVideo has Closed Captions
Carol’s mother had always been the heart of the family—devoted, joyful, and endlessly giving. But when dementia began to steal pieces of the woman Carol had always known, she faced the painful decision to move her into memory care. What she discovered was unexpected: relief, connection, and the chance to simply be a daughter again.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipMy mom was perfect.
She was the room mom.
She was the brownie leader.
She was my best friend.
Couldn't have asked for a better mom.
She started to decline shortly after my father's death.
Then initially, it was mom's dementia.
We all kind of laughed off the small things that she forgot.
Because we've all done that on an occasion.
But, over time, some of the small things became a little bigger.
Mom’s decline really started to take shape when she married her second husband.
My mom was being left home by her husband for hours on end.
When it was clear she should not be left alone and on one visit, I got down there and it was abundantly clear that the situation had devolved.
She was turning the burners on on the stove and leaving them on.
Her hygiene was getting worse and worse, and it became clear that it was time for me to step in and get my mom the help she needed.
And ultimately, we decided to put mom in a facility in Albany.
My mom definitely flourished once she moved into the memory care facility and she engaged with the other residents.
She made friends.
You know, she was getting three square meals a day.
I think a lot of people struggle with putting their parents into a memory care or assisted living facility.
I struggled with that as well.
I'm retired and I thought I should take care of my mom, but it would not be what my mother would want.
She would have been horrified to know that I was giving up that much of my life for her.
I can be her daughter when she's in the facility in the memory care facility.
I go, I visit, I spend.
I would spend 3 or 4 hours with her and we would, you know, look at magazines, we would play games, we would work on puzzles.
And it was mom and Carol, not mom and caregiver.
And that's a whole nother dynamic.
So I don't think you should feel guilty.
You should feel grateful that there are facilities that can handle all those things for you, so that you can just be here when mom's daughter or your mom's son.
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Seniority Authority is a local public television program presented by NHPBS